George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when
> his telephone rang.
>
> 'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Ka Menong from
> Baranggay Langgas, Infanta, Quezon Province. I am ringing to inform you
> that we are officially declaring war on you!'
>
> 'Well, Ka Menong,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big
> is your army'
>
> 'Right now,' said Ka Menong, after a moment's calculation, 'there is
> myself, my cousin Tasyo, my next door neighbor Entong, and the entire
> Langgas team from the pakatan. That makes eight.'
>
> Bush paused. 'I must tel l you, Ka Menong that I have one million men in
> my army waiting to move on my command.'
>
> 'Aray..' said Ka Menong. 'I'll have to ring you back!'
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Ka Menong called again.
>
> 'Mr. Bush, it is Ka Menong, I'm calling from Alitas, the war is still on!
> We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'
>
> 'And what equipment would that be, Ka Menong?' Bush asked.
>
> 'Well, we have two jeepneys, a carabao and Tasyo's tractor.'
>
> Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Ka Menong, that I have 16,000 tanks and
> 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2
> million since we last spoke.'
>
> 'Ay naku naman....' said Ka Menong. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
>
> Sure enough, Ka Menong rang again the next day.
>
> 'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves
> airborne.... .. We've modified Tasyo's tractor by adding a couple of
> shotguns, sticking on some wings and the baranggay's generator. Four high
> school boys from Alitas have joined us as well!'
>
> Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell
> you, Ka Menong, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
> military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
> sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'
>
> 'Susmariosep. ...' said Ka Menong, 'I'll have to ring you back.'
>
> Sure enough, Ka Menong called again the next day.
>
> 'Ganyan ka pala, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call
> off the war.'
>
> 'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart.'
>
> 'Well,' said Ka Menong, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of alak,
> and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of war!'
>
> NOW THAT'S CALLED PILIPINO CONFIDENCE...
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