= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2004  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST  145
GAMES CORRECT    109
PCT CORRECT      75.2%
=============================================================

Well, as some of you know, I spent last weekend in New York City.  I
had a lovely time, and only got a peek or two at any college
football.  Anniversary trips are kind of like that.  But, I'm very
lucky in that my wife very much adores going to and enjoying college
football games with me.  Here's one more I love you, honey.  And from
a standpoint of my Florida State roots, I was lucky.... I didn't see
a single snap of what was supposedly a lackluster effort at
Syracuse.  I did, however, return from Broadway just in time to see
the Ron Zook show close to menacing reviews down in Gainesville.  I
wonder how much longer that'll be playing?  Oh well, time to start
missing some more games for this week....


Thursday, October 14
Louisville at Miami
ESPN had no way of knowing what a gem they'd booked for this Thursday
night contest.  Anytime you get an intersectional battle of
undefeateds this late in the season, it's going to attract some
attention.  The hometown Hurricanes have been in the ACC driver's
seat since an opening win over Florida State.  L'ullville is also
flying high in their quest for another Conference-USA crown, showing
a consistent balance that many other teams envy.  Since this is not a
conference tilt for either club, it's really a contest for pride,
respect and national rankings.  Both the Cardinals and Canes have
pride and national rankings.  But as for respect, Louisville is still
hoping for more, more, more.  I think they may have an opportunity to
achieve their goal while scoring a few this Thursday in Miami.
Beating the Canes in the Orange Bowl always attracts more than a
glance.  In an upset, Louisville by 3.

Saturday, October 16
N.C. State at Maryland
Both the Wolfpack and Terrapins are coming off disappointing losses
last weekend.  And, if either club hopes to stay in the hunt for any
meaningful holiday bowling, they'd best right the ship in a
hurry.  "Hurrying" may not be the mark of a terrapin, but look for
the hometown Terp fans to remain simply "disappointed" while the
visitors from Raleigh move on down to "disgusted".  Maryland by 6.

Boston College at Pittsburgh
Just last year, the Pitt Panthers were flying high.  They were
challenging for the conference crown, while all-everything wide
receiver Larry Fitzgerald was catching touchdown passes in every
game.  What a difference a year makes.  Now, it's the Eagles of BC
who are flying high, while Pittsburgh struggles to actually GET
touchdowns in some of their games.  Actually, the only real challenge
occurring in the steel city involves the challenge to the imagination
and patience of the Pittsburgh fans.  Look for BC to do their Miami
Hurricane act this Saturday in Pittsburgh.  What's a "Miami Hurricane
act"?  It's whipping up on the Panthers and then moving on to the
ACC.  Boston College by 10.

Notre Dame at Navy
It's been forty years since the Naval Academy defeated Notre Dame in
football.  And since they play every year, that's saying something.
The four decades of futility represent the present NCAA record.  Let
me put it into perspective, folks... I am about to retire from work.
I have worked at my job long enough to draw a pension.  And in my
lifetime, Navy has defeated Notre Dame once...forty years ago, back
when I was in first grade!  So, the possibility of Navy's winning the
game represents a dramatic change in my life as I know it.  But,
change is good.  I believe that into every lifetime radical change
must eventually come.  It could be a new and exciting love, a great
career change....or even a Midshipmen victory over the Irish.  As Bob
Dylan would say, the times they are a changin'.  Navy by 2.

Arizona State at USC
This Devil dash into LA could represent a greater threat to USC's
repeat national championship dreams than last weekend's contest with
Cal.  Whereas the Trojans were focused on repelling and avenging the
Berkeley Bears, the possibility of a let-down against ASU is very,
very real.  Look for Pete Carroll to preach a fiery sermon for much
of this week's practice time.  And in the end, watch the Men of Troy
pull it out of the flames at the last possible minute.  Waking up
just in time to escape the ASU brimstone, call this one USC by 6.

North Carolina at Utah
Tar Heel fans must have had mixed emotions during last weekend's
upset win against NC State.  On one hand, ANY time that UNC defeats
either NC State or Duke in anything is good.  But, the unexpected win
caused the inevitable talk of a job reprieve to surface for embattled
coach John Bunting.  I have one word to suggest for anyone handling
John's situation at UNC.  Clemson.  Remember what happened last year
with CU decided to extend Tommy Bowden's contract?  Are they in the
thick of the national race this year?  Have they even won a game
since opening day?  Point made.  But it may not matter, because I
don't see the Tar Heels making any meaningful run at a winning streak
this season.  Traveling all the way to Salt Lake City to collect
their next humiliating loss, look for Utah to bring down the wild
west hammer on the Carolina sheep.  Utes by 21.

Wyoming at BYU
I think it may be homecoming weekend at BYU, or so I've heard.  I
wonder if there is any sort of family discount for those huge Mormon
clans that support the Cougars?  I'd think that the school brass
would do anything they could to insure that their grads and their
WIVES and families get a chance to return to the Provo fold.  I read
somewhere that BYU always finishes last on the national list of party
schools.  But, I see them having a nice little hoe-down on Saturday
as they lasso and tie up the Cowboys from Laramie.  BYU by 7.

UCLA at California
If at first you can't beat a division 1-A school from Los Angeles,
you can only try, try again.  Look for the second time to be the
charm as the Berkeley Bears brain the SoCal Bruins up in the Bay
Area.  Cal by 22.

Oklahoma at Kansas State
It's only been a few weeks since people were considering that K-State
could be a national title dark horse.  But, after several galling
recent losses, a national title must seem like a dream from the
Bronze Age, only a distant memory.  Speaking of memories, do you
suppose that the OU Sooners remember what happened in last year's Big
XII title game?  Let's guess that they might.  Sooners by 24.

Ohio State at Iowa
Last week's setback against Wisconsin gave OSU two conference losses
in a row for the first time (probably) since Earle Bruce was their
coach.  Isn't he dead now?  Oh, sorry Earle....I was confusing you
with Woody Hayes, I guess.  Speaking of dead, that's what the
Buckeyes' chances of any decent ranking are if they cack another
conference contest.  So, look for Ohio State to find enough shovel
power to dig themselves out of any October conference graveyards on
this trip to Iowa City.  Call it an ugly 4 point win for Tressel and
company.

Minnesota at Michigan State
The Golden Gophers tried last weekend to gain a big win in the state
of Michigan.  But as your 75% right Prophet predicted, they came up
short.  This Saturday offers a form of Groundhog Day redemption for
the Gophers, which actually seems to be a perfect mammalian match.
Here is ANOTHER chance to get a big conference win on a visit to the
state of Michigan.
There IS bad news, though.  Minnesota will not get possession of any
silly brown jugs for coming away with a "W".  But then again, jugs
and bowls aren't the same thing, and that's Minnesota's ultimate goal
for now...a nice holiday bowl game.  Gophers by 12.

Baylor at Nebraska
I had originally planned to leave this game off the list.  I
generally don't do too many "sure thing" picks.  I hate being accused
of sandbagging the percentage.  But after last weekend, I had second
thoughts.  I figure that any team that gives up 70 points might be a
candidate for a Baylor win.  For the record, I DID pick Texas Tech
over Nebraska.  I'll admit, however, that I didn't install the 60
point spread.  Wanna know what the best part about last weekend's
college football on TV was for me?  No contest...it was seeing that
jerk Trev Albert's face as his alma mater got beat by 60 points.
Now, I hate to imagine that sneaking by Baylor will in any way salve
Trev's ego, but I gotta call `em as I see `em.  Cornhuskers, what's
left of them anyway, by 9.

Tennessee at Mississippi
With their surprise win over Georgia last weekend, the Tennessee
Volunteers find themselves firmly in the SEC East driver's seat.  So
with their hands clutching the conference steering wheel, look for
Big Orange to run down the lowly Rebs of Ole Miss on this roadie trip
to Oxford.  Buckling up their seat belts for the first leg on a trip
to Hotlanta in December, call this one Tennessee by 16.

Arkansas at Auburn
Houston Nutt's hoggies may ride into town as a football team, but
they'll leave Auburn as sliced bacon.  Look for Cadillac and the crew
to run all over the Razorbacks, tenderizing them for another solid
SEC West win.  As they say at any good barbecue, just smell that
smoke! <g>   Tigers by 14.

Duke at Georgia Tech
Chan Gailey's Georgia Tech Yellowjackets are one of the most
schizophrenic teams in the ACC.  They've run the entire gamut from
terrible to terrific in a period of just three weeks.  It may be time
for Chan to summon a team psychiatrist for some overtime analysis
work.  Duke University has one of the country's best medical
schools.  But while plenty of the Dookies might be able to accurately
assess the Freudian classification of the Tech players, the Duke
FOOTBALL squad will be the ones lying on the couch when it's all said
and done.  Did I say couch?  I meant stretcher.   My professional
analysis?  Yellowjackets by 12.

Vanderbilt at Georgia
Over the last two years, Georgia coach Mark Richt has annually only
lost one big SEC game, both times to Florida.  While galling, those
losses only eliminated UGA from the national title picture.
Conference championship game trips ensued at the conclusion of both
campaigns, in spite of the annoying stumble over the Gators.  THIS
year is different.  Maybe Georgia will finally beat Florida...  But
the horrible irony is that it's not gonna matter.  Richt and company
have already logged their conference loss of the year, and it was a
doozy.  Now, the only thing that could propel Georgia into a trip
into the SEC title game would be a conference loss for Tennessee.
And, the really bad news is that Vanderbilt is one of the better SEC
teams left on the Volunteer schedule.  Georgia will learn, in the
process of mauling the Commodores this weekend, how truly bad THAT
news really is.  Georgia by 16.

Utah State at Clemson
This must be the week for all ACC coaches on the hot seat to play
teams from Utah.  North Carolina is playing Utah out in Salt Lake
City on the same day as Clemson hosts Utah State in South Carolina.
Time will prove that Tommy Bowden and the Tigers made the better
choice.  Since the ill-considered Bowden contract extension ink is
completely dry, Tiger fans can at least enjoy a little home cooked
meal this Saturday down in Death Valley.  Utah State has little or no
chance of "holding any Tigers" in this matchup.  Clemson by 21.

Missouri at Texas
After last weekend's shutout loss in Dallas, Longhorn coach Mack
Brown was quoted as saying "if this team was not prepared properly,
that is my fault.   When we win, it's the players' accomplishment.
But, I am responsible for this team when we do not play well."  I'm
assuming that the UT athletic board and administration took ample
notes during that sorrowful press conference.  Look for Saturday's
contest to refocus the eyes of Texas onto the players, at least for a
while.  Longhorns by 10.

Texas A&M at Oklahoma State
Oklahoma isn't the only undefeated team in the Big XII.  Much to the
surprise of many, Texas A&M and Okie State also have no conference
losses.  And to the chagrin of the conference, all three teams
compete in the South division.  The Big XII conference is beginning
to look, from a divisional standpoint, like a see-saw with a midget
(OK, politically correct...a little person) on one side and a fat
slob (...and I don't know the politically correct term for fat slob.
Could one of you fat slobs out there please give me some insight?) on
the other.  There are two great injustices in this year's Big XII.
First, only one of the South's teams gets to play for the conference
title.  And second, it's really pathetic that ANY of the northern
clubs get to even print tickets for the title game.  Oh well, on to
this pick.  I'll admit that I've slowly been won over by Dennis
Frangione and his A&M Aggies.  After a disastrous start, they've
shown steady growth.  FWIW, how many teams in America can honestly
say that they've improved a little bit every week?  That's the good
news for Dennis and his boys.  The bad news is that they'll need to
improve even more to have even a chance on their trip up to the
Cowboy corral in Stillwater.  Guess what?  I'm sold.  I think the
Texas Aggies are going to do what their dear brothers over at Austin
just can't seem to accomplish.  They're going to beat something or
someone from Oklahoma.  Mack Brown might want to videotape this
one....  In a mild upset, call it Aggies by 3.

Virginia at Florida State
On the surface, this looks bleak for my Seminoles.  Here comes a
disciplined and well-coached Cavalier team into town for a huge ACC
contest.  FSU's recent success usually has depended on their being
much, much better than their opponent...you know, they win the games
that they just can't lose.  But unlike the UABs and Clemsons of the
world, UVA is more than capable of beating FSU, all things being
equal.  But, things are not equal.  The Seminole coaching staff is as
poor a unit as you'll find in major college football.   If they had
the mid-level talent of, say, Iowa, they'd be sub-.500.   So,
everything points to this being a very bad night in Tallahassee.
But, that's the one glimmer for the home fans....  Florida State
almost NEVER loses at night in Doak Campbell.  Something about that
Saturday Night fever attitude that takes over Tallahassee.  It could
have something to do with the generally much higher alcohol content
of the stadium's collective bloodstream.  The Doak is a much more
intimidating home crib after dark.  So, in spite of FSU's propensity
for making stupid plays and its poor coaching, look for the Seminole
faithful to turn out the lights on Virginia's undefeated season in
this national ESPN broadcast.  Seminole fans from Miccosukee to San
Rafael will smile as their boys find a way to pull a rabbit out of
the hat.  FSU by 4.

Wisconsin at Purdue
It seems strange to have the defining game in the Big Ten race (a)
occurring in October and (b) not including either Ohio State or
Michigan.  But here we are, watching Barry Alvarez's Badgers battle
Joe Tiller's Boilermakers for a trip to Pasadena come New Year's Day,
assuming of course that a bigger trip to Miami doesn't materialize.
Wisconsin fans have always been on my butt about my stand on the
Badgers.  They seem to think that I don't LIKE Wisconsin.  Well,
folks, I don't particularly LIKE Wisconsin.  But, that's not why I
keep picking against them.  I guess I just can't figure out how such
a vanilla, one-dimensional team keeps winning game.  It might be what
they've always referred to as "Big Ten football".  In this conference
it's said that you have to run the ball with gusto to win those huge
conference tilts as the weather gets crappy in the Midwest.  There's
only one problem with that idea on Saturday.  It's only October and
the weather's still fine.  Look for Kyle Orton to have a sunny day in
West Lafayette as the Boilermakers curdle Wisconsin's cream for the
Big Ten lead.  Purdue by 7.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2004  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST  126
GAMES CORRECT   	 96
PCT CORRECT      76.2%
=============================================================

Well, I had kind of a rough week last Saturday.  I wasn't actually
shocked to see Georgia and Auburn post their victories, but the
magnitude was unexpected.  What Auburn did to Tennessee bordered on
brutal.  But I suppose I can't be unhappy with any week in which I
pick a Northwestern upset of Ohio State.  Is this the famous "blind
squirrel finds a nut" theory?   Let's get on to this week's picks...

But first....a quick note to my favorite Prophet reader, namely my
extra-beautiful wife.  October 4th was my anniversary, and I just
wanted to take a moment to tell "the Prophet's biggest fan" how much
he I her. :)   I know that she reads every word that I write on a
weekly basis.  So, I now say "thank you" and "I love you" to the love
of my life. :)   Forever, lover.
91

Thursday, October 7
Clemson at Virginia
The Clemson Tigers already have three losses this season, two of them
in-conference.  And the really scary thing is that they haven't even
faced the two best teams in the ACC.  A late run of success last year
saved Tommy Bowden's job, and resulted in his contract being enhanced
and prolonged.  Don't you just bet that whoever spearheaded THAT move
is looking into the witness protection program about now?  Oh,
remember that comment I made about "the two best teams in the ACC"?
Clemson knocks on one of those doors this Thursday night.  Look for
UVA to, in return, blow Clemson's doors off in Charlottesville, in
front of a national TV audience.  Ugly.  Wahoos by 17.


Friday, October 8
UNLV at BYU
Runnin' Reb coach John Robinson has announced that he will retire
upon completion of the 2004 season.  Now, no disrespect for Big John,
but he's a far better football coach than retirement planner.  Hasn't
he retired about three times already?  Look for this trip to Provo to
provide JR with more encouragement to make this trip into retirement
a permanent move.  BYU by 7.

Saturday, October 9
Florida State at Syracuse
The Seminoles and their fans are so pleased with the new Wyatt Sexton
offensive "play" that they're ready to take the show on the road.
Now, Syracuse isn't exactly the Great White Way, but it'll be a
noticeable enough stage to get some more pollster attention via
ESPN.  Tap dancing themselves into a New York state of mind, call it
FSU by 12.

Georgia Tech at Maryland
Last weekend found Chan Gailey and his Georgia Tech Yellowjackets
getting gassed by the newest wind in the ACC, the evil Miami
Hurricanes.  This Saturday will take the Atlanta insects on the road
to a more familiar menace, rotund Ralph Friedgen's Maryland
Terrapins.  Look for the Yellowjacket stingers to have little effect
on the hard-shelled Maryland attack, as Tech endures another
conference loss in College Park.  Maryland by 14.

Purdue at Penn State
Most of the sports world's talking heads have now anointed Purdue QB
Kyle Orton as the front runner for the Heisman Trophy.  Now the
contest to "do" NY in December is a long race, and there'll be plenty
of opportunities for Kyle to stumble before the finish line.  But, I
don't see much in Beaver Stadium that's going to bring him back any
closer to the pack this week.  Boilermakers by 20.

California at USC
The Golden Bears have been sizzling this year, and have burned up
your trusty Prophet on more than one occasion.  I don't seem to have
gotten the message that Cal is for real.  On the other hand,
conventional wisdom in the sports world keeps labeling USC
as "beatable".  Therefore, it's become a very sexy pick to select
California as a sure bet to upset the defending national half-
champs.  Well, as you all know, I am anything but sexy, in spite of
what all of my groupie mail keeps telling me.   My philosophy on this
sort of thing is to go with the proven commodity and then just
say "sorry" when I'm wrong.  No apologies should be necessary come
Saturday.  Trojans by 7.

UTEP at Fresno State
A lot of folks say that last weekend's loss by FSU-West at Louisiana
Tech EXPOSED the Bulldogs as BCS frauds.  Well, be that as it may, it
won't affect my pick for this home contest against Mike "G String"
Price and his UTEP Miners.  When it comes to fraudulent football
teams, let's just say that if the Miners were any more exposed, Coach
Price would be in the front row with a fist full of dollar bills.
Look for Fresno to do a pole dance on UTEP this Saturday at home in
the valley.  FSU-West by 21.

Minnesota at Michigan
It really looks like Coach Glen Mason's Minnesota program is coming
of age.  The Golden Gophers have one of the most effective running
games in the nation.  But, I don't think it'll save them from loss
one in 2004 on Saturday.  You see, Lloyd Carr has a strict rule
about "no running in the house".  And as you all know, there is no
bigger "house" that Michigan Stadium.  Wolverines by 3.

Wisconsin at Ohio State
The Madison Badgers are still undefeated, prompting thoughts of a New
Year's Rose party.  However, Barry Alvarez's penchant for treating
the forward pass like a cold sore at a wine tasting is about to bite
him on his Badgered behind.  One-dimensional teams don't usually beat
the Buckeyes in Columbus.  Look for the lucky Horseshoe shape of
their home field to again serve OSU well.  Winning their signature
close contest, call it Buckeyes by 3.

Kansas State at Kansas
I usually get ten times as many letters from K-State fans as any
other schools', especially when I have the audacity to NOT make a
call on one of their games.  However in 2004, I keep picking the
Wildcats to win and they keep getting whupped.  Something tells me
that the Cat fans would just as soon I let them slip out of my
sights.  Sorry guys, you've got me started now and you'll have to
suffer the curse of the Prophet's pick.  Again sending the K-State
faithful to their knees in fearful prayer, the Prophet again
forecasts a Wildcat victory!  Look for Bill Snyder's wounded kitties
to feast on some intrastate Jayhawk drumsticks this weekend in
Lawrence.  Kansas State by 8.

Texas A&M at Iowa State
After I saw the Aggies destroyed in their opener against Utah, I
honestly thought they'd MAYBE not win a game until the Iowa State
contest.  History has proven me wrong, as Dennis Frangione's boys
have dug up a nice little winning streak.  But, I'm still right in my
original thinking, namely that A&M will win this game...and I don't
mean MAYBE, either. Aggies by 14.

Indiana at Northwestern
Last week wasn't so great in Prophetland.  But my shining success was
my call on Northwestern's upset of Ohio State.  In return for their
kindness in bailing me out, it is my distinct pleasure to once again
select the Northwestern Wildcats to win another conference tussle,
and they'll do so in regulation time.  The Fighting DiNardos from
Bloomingtom aren't going to be forcing any overtimes this Saturday in
Evanston.  Sixty minutes should be more than enough time for
Northwestern to prevail in this one.  Wildcats by 16.

Stanford at Notre Dame
I'm not actually THAT interested in what happens in the football game
for this contest.  I'm more curious to learn what atrocities of taste
the Stanford band will bring to Notre Dame Stadium.  A few years ago,
the misfits in the Cardinal band infuriated the South Bend faithful
by having their drum major dress as a priest, directing the band with
a cross.  A few weeks ago, in a contest against BYU, the Stanford
psychos did a salute to polygamy of some kind.   I can't wait to see
what happens this Saturday.  BTW, everyone should write to NBC and
demand that they show the halftime show in its entirety.  What would
you rather do, listen to Pat Haden talk, or watch the Stanford
majorettes do their Virgin Mary flaming baton pole dance?  Look for
Stanford's football team to pay for the sins of the band.  Notre Dame
by 10.

Alabama at Kentucky
Even without injured quarterback Brodie Croyle, the Crimson Tide are
still leading the SEC in one category.  Unfortunately, the category
happens to be "number of three and out offensive drives".  That
doesn't get it done, even in the forgiving gridiron environment of
the Bluegrass State.  UK by 7.

N.C. State at North Carolina
Chuck Amato and his NC State Wolfpack are proving that there might be
life in Raleigh after Phil Rivers.  On the other hand, John Bunting
and his soon-to-be-ex-coaching staff at North Carolina are scrambling
to even find a heartbeat.  In the south, it's tradition to bury the
dead.  So in an effort to be good Christians, look for NC State to
bury the Tar Heels in Chapel Hill on Saturday.  Wolfpack by 17.

Louisiana Tech at Auburn
It's a good thing that this game is being played in Auburn.  You see,
last weekend, Louisiana Tech upset previously unbeaten Fresno State,
prompting the locals to tear down the Reston goalposts.  Then again,
goalposts won't play that big of a role in this game.  Auburn should
do most of the scoring, and I see it being of the touchdown rather
than field goal variety.  Sure, there'd be the extra point issue, but
really...the only people who'd be affected are the bookies.  And this
game is probably off the boards in Vegas.  Auburn by 21.

Nebraska at Texas Tech
New Husker coach Bill Callahan is bound and determined to upgrade the
Nebraska offense.  Mr. Pro coach is hot to install the vaunted "west
coast" style of play into the Nebraska arsenal.  This weekend's trip
to Lubbock could be considered an educational experience for the
farmboys, giving them the chance to see what can happen when you
throw the ball more than you run it.  Look for an upset on Saturday,
as the Red Raiders give Nebraska and their coach the old Uma Thurman
treatment.  Get it??  Kill Bill.  Going 1-1 in two weeks against the
Big XII's bigger names, call this one a Tech upset win.  Red Raiders
by 4.

LSU at Florida
In most cases, heading into a swamp is a good thing for a beat-up
bunch of Cajuns.  The deep, dark bayous and sloughs of the south are
just the place to lick one's wounds.  Unfortunately for the
disappointed and disappointing LSU Tigers, the Gainesville swamp home
of the Florida Gators is going to be more heartache than homecoming.
I bet last year's Sugar Bowl seems as far away as the 4,000 NASDAQ to
many of the well-heeled Bengal supporters.  Speaking of heels, look
for Zook's boys to grind their alligator shoes into LSU on Saturday,
adding a little more rust to what originally promised to be a shiny
Tiger year.  Florida by 9.

Tennessee at Georgia
When "Roy" got mauled by his 600 lb tiger, he insisted that the big
cat was trying to save him from a stroke.  Maybe Phil Fulmer could
try that spin with the Tennessee faithful in the wake of last
Saturday's Auburn Tiger attack.  Auburn didn't really hurt UT, they
just gently pointed out the hazards of depending on two true freshman
quarterbacks, right?  Well, there is some truth in that comedic line,
folks.  Also, there could be some silver lining in what happened last
Saturday, AS well as what's about to happen again this week in
Athens.  Four years ago, Auburn's Jason Campbell was a freshman...and
he played like one.  Four years ago, Georgia's David Greene was a
freshman, and he had his moments.  So, if the Orange faithful will
just ignore what's happening between the hedges and fast forward
their focus to 2007, things won't seem so bad.  The power of positive
thinking can do wonders....but it can't beat Georgia at home this
weekend.  Bruising any spots on Tennessee that were missed by Auburn,
call this one Georgia by 14.

Texas vs Oklahoma (in Dallas, TX)
For Superman, it's Kryptonite.

For the pride of the French nation, it's the German Army.

For honesty, it's politics.

For anyone who owns a telephone, it's a telemarketer.

For the proud king cobra, it's the menacing mongoose.

Everyone and everything has someone or something that literally stops
them in their tracks.  One glance and it's head over heels OVER.
Just go ahead and play "Taps" first.  Forget about "Charge".  There
is simply no point is resisting.

For the Texas Longhorns, it's Bob Stoopes and the OU Sooners.
There's no use denying it, everyone knows the truth.  Nobody really
expects Mack Brown and his cows to win this game.  Really, we don't.
Some say that another loss to Oklahoma will cost Coach Brown his job,
but I disagree.  I believe that Mack's only mandate is to avoid
another complete massacre at the hands of the Sooners.  It says here
that he will.  Keeping the margin at a respectable low-double digits,
let's nonetheless call this one another Longhorn loss.  Oklahoma by
10.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2004  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST  101
GAMES CORRECT   	 78
PCT CORRECT      77.2%
=============================================================
Well, I had a decent run last weekend, going 17 up and 5 down.  And
even more impressively, I didn't get a single death threat in my
email box.  I'm beginning to think that you guys don't care anymore.

This weekend brings us the first games of October, the point at which
things start getting serious in conference races.  Here's hoping for
another solid week of pickin' and grinnin'.  And as a Florida
resident, I'd like to spend one week without watching the damned
Weather Channel. :) Sometimes I wish I lived in California. :^/

Thursday, September 30
First of all, can I please say a special happy birthday to my
youngest child.  Actually, child may be a misnomer.  My lovely young
daughter, Sara, is a beautiful young woman.  And, she is sweet
sixteen today, September 30, 2004.  Daddy loves you, honey.

Pittsburgh at Connecticut
Last weekend, the Pitt Panthers barely survived a challenge from
Furman.  Now everyone knows that Pittsburgh must have been distracted
to allow a Division 1-AA program to come so close to a monumental
upset in the steel city.  The bad news is that the distraction may
have been looking ahead to a Thursday night contest against
Connecticut.  Now, no disrespect intended, but if you're sweating out
a football game against UConn, you've got issues.  And on Thursday
night, we'll see some of the Panther's worries on national TV.  In an
upset, let's call this one Connecticut by 3.

Navy at Air Force
Doesn't it seem unusual to have this big service academy clash played
on a Thursday night?  Then again, they are making some incredible
advances with those night-vision goggles.  The Middies might want to
lower their periscopes when they hit Colorado Springs' city limits,
as they might not like what they see on the surface out at Falcon
Field.  Air Force by 9.

Friday, October 1
Utah at New Mexico
A lot of people believe that Urban Meyer and his Utah Utes are prime
candidates to become successful BCS busters this year.  That may well
come to fruition, but UU had best not hose around like they did up at
Air Force last weekend.  Believe me, those pollsters LIKE the present
system, and they're looking for any excuse to "dis" clubs like Utah.
So if the Utes want to bust things up come January, they'd best be
busting up Friday night fodder such as New Mexico.  It says here that
they will, call it Utah by 14.


Saturday, October 2
West Virginia at Virginia Tech
There haven't been this many hillbillies fightin' with each other
since the days of the Hatfields and McCoys.  The Mountaineers and
Hokies have a long-standing hillside rivalry dating back to their
happy times in the Big East conference.  But now that Virginia Tech
has moved on to playing against colleges that have indoor plumbing,
they might be apt to look down at their pals from Morganton.  That
might be a dangerous move seeing as how Tech is already coming off a
loss at home.  Two in a row will not make the Lane Stadium loons
happy, at least those of them who can count to two. : ) But, two it
is....West Virginia by 2.

TCU at Army
President Bush has accused challenger John Kerry of giving comfort to
al-Qaeda and our other terrorist enemies with his campaign trail
speeches.  Now, I'm not weighing in on any of that.  But for the
record, nothing could give our enemies any greater comfort than
seeing the Army football team playing ball.  Than again, the boys and
girls up at West Point are winners where it really counts, right?  Go
Army!   But, TCU by 14.

Arizona State at Oregon
The Sun Devils seem to have climbed up from their purgatory of the
last few mediocre seasons.  And as Iowa found out a couple of weeks
ago, they can exact a devilish degree of revenge.  The long trip up
to Autzen Stadium in Eugene used to send chills down the spines of
Pac Ten visitors.  But on Saturday, the only Devil shivering may come
from the clammy weather.  I know that, over the last few years,
visiting conference teams have won at Oregon about as often as an
average person sends flowers to a corporate lawyer.  But on Saturday,
I see ASU's bouquet coming into bloom.  Sun Diablos by 7.

California at Oregon State
This weekend will help us find out two things about this year's Pac
Ten teams and race.  First, we'll find out if the Cal Bears are
really top-ten material.  And second, we'll get an early peek at who,
besides USC, might sneak into a BCS bowl come January.  California is
an excellent university, and I know they've got plenty of professors
who can read the old handwriting on the wall.  However, I don't think
they'll applaud the verse being recited in Corvallis on Saturday.
Beavers by 2.

Washington at Stanford
Saturday's battle in Palo Alto features two teams who played "almost"
football last weekend.  Stanford ALMOST beat the top-rated USC
Trojans, while Washington almost got shut out by Notre Dame.  So,
does that make this contest "almost" worth tuning in to watch?
Almost.  Stanford by 4.

SMU at Boise State
This'll be quite a stampede as the Mustangs from SMU gallop into the
big blue corral at Boise State.  It shouldn't take an intimate
knowledge of horseflesh to separate the thoroughbreds from the glue
factory ponies in this rodeo.  BSU by 24.

Michigan at Indiana
The Michigan Wolverines showed signs last weekend that they'd finally
shaken the doldrums that surfaced during their trip to South Bend.
Roughing up Iowa in the Big House showed that the Blue and Maize
might still be a factor in the Big Ten conference race.  As for the
long-term health of the Wolverine program, let's just say that
swallowing a handful of Hoosiers should provide the necessary vitamin
supplement to keep things going until it's time to play Ohio State.
Michigan by 21.

Ohio State at Northwestern
The Buckeyes seem to be following the Tressel formula of the last
three years.  Conservative, and at times non-existent, offense
coupled with a bruising, opportunistic defense.  It's already won ONE
national title, so I suppose people should be slow to criticize.
Defense does win championships, right?  True, true, true.  But can
you read the small print in that sentence, folks?  Let me magnify it
for you...  Defense <alone> does <not> win championships.  The Big
Ten opener seems like a perfect place for OSU's Tampa Bay Buccaneer
philosophy to bite `em on the butt.  In an upset, Northwestern by 1.

Illinois at Wisconsin
I'm not saying that the Badger offense is moribund, but Wisconsin
coach Barry Alvarez hasn't thought about making a pass since his frat
days at Nebraska.  Fortunately on this weekend, the visiting Illini
are just the sort of team apt to be run over without any heavy
petting on the part of Wisconsin.  Getting away with being one-
dimensional for another week, call this one for the Bucky Badgers.
Wisconsin by 9.

Penn State at Minnesota
Just last weekend, Joe Paterno and his Nittany Lions were up on the
northern plains, losing a football game at Wisconsin.  And, if State
is hoping to avoid forfeiting in Minneapolis, they might have to
swing back by the University of Wisconsin hospital facilities to pick
up a few dozen of their injured players.  Last weekend produced a
physical whipping for the Nittany kitties.  On this Saturday, look
for a more kind of spiritual beating as the Gophers grind out a
gritty ground victory at home.  Minnesota by 13.

Kansas at Nebraska
Bill Callahan's Cornhuskers may still be coming to grips with his
west-coast offense.  But, they'll have no geographical challenge this
week when the next-door-neighbor Kansas Jayhawks come calling (or
crawling) in(to) Lincoln.  Any game plan, or combination of various
game plans, should be enough for Nebraska to pound KU flatter than
their Great Plains home, er...stompin' grounds. :)  Farmboys by 16.

Miami at Georgia Tech
When the Miami Hurricanes were accepted into the ACC, only two
universities voted against the idea.  Had three done so, the
Horrorcanes would still be blowing their smoke in the Big East.  Look
for this weekend's game to make the Georgia Tech hierarchy rethink
their "yes" ballot.  Miami by 21.

North Carolina at Florida State
FSU fans thought THEY were the only ones having to endure a pitiful
offensive display by their team in 2004.  Last Saturday, the UNC Tar
Heels were shut out at home by Louisville.  Now, I mean no ill
towards the Cardinals, but they're not Oklahoma, ya know.  They have
no business shutting out North Carolina in Chapel Hill.  Bobby Bowden
doesn't have another kid on that horrible coaching staff up at UNC,
does he?  Well, assuming that John Bunting and his soon-to-be-
unemployed coaches come up with another offensive plan that even Jeff
Bowden would laugh at, the outcome in Tallahassee should also be a
laugher.  Seminoles by 24.

Arkansas at Florida
The practice of scoreboard-watching is well-documented in baseball,
especially during pennant drives.  It's also done in college
football, as will be happening down in Gainesville on Saturday,
assuming that Hurricanes L through Q haven't slammed into Florida by
then.  Gator Coach "rappin' Ron Zook" will have a close eye on the
North Carolina-FSU game being played up in Tallahassee.  And
surprisingly, the Z man is pulling for a big Seminoles victory.  The
sooner that Tar Heel coach Bunting gets his walking papers, the
sooner the UNC alumni can pool every last dime and hire Steve
Spurrier, thereby allowing Ron to get a decent night's rest.  He
should sleep easy on this Saturday night, as his Gators complete the
daily double of Sunshine state wins.  Florida by 10.

South Carolina at Alabama
Even with a neophyte signal-caller under center, Alabama's Crimson
Tide has enough talent, at least on paper, to defeat the South
Carolina Gamecocks.  However, the X-factor in this weekend's defense
against Alabama's Gen-X quarterback may be septuagenarian USC coach
Lou Holtz.  The crusty ol' weasel has more than enough dirty tricks
and psychological games to embed himself solidly in a young
quarterback's head.  Lou ain't bad at screwing around with young
coaches' minds, either.  In a mild upset, South Carolina by 4.

Mississippi St. at Vanderbilt
A lot of people are bemoaning the fact that former Mississippi State
coach Jackie Sherrill left the Bulldog cupboard bare when he
departed.  That is, by no means, an understatement.  The Starkville
faithful have been on a gridiron starvation diet for the last three
years, and even the optimism of the new Sylvester Crooms regime can't
hide the fact that there'll be more belt tightening to do before the
Dogs begin feasting on anyone of substance in the near future.  How
sad are things at Miss State?   They'll be decided underdogs against
Vandy, that's how bad.  Now, ponder how ridiculous the next sentence
sounds, given the context of SEC football history.  If the Commodores
can avoid getting overconfident, they should secure a precious home
conference win on Saturday.  Vandy and overconfident are not
generally words residing in the same breath.  Call it close,
Vanderbilt by 3.

Baylor at Texas
They're starting to believe down in Austin.  The Longhorns are
rolling, and have easily won their first few games.  Vicious defense
and slippery running by Cedric Benson have UT climbing the NCAA
charts just in time for the meat of the college football schedule.
Look for another easy win this weekend, as Coach Mack Brown's cattle
stampede the visiting Bears from Baylor.  One little note, though,
for the old coach...  Mack, you might want to refill your
antidepressant prescriptions, and have that irregular heartbeat
checked out.  Those ARE the Oklahoma Sooners on the horizon.
Shreik.  Texas by 22.

Kansas State at Texas A&M
After the surprise thrashing of the (then) highly-regarded Clemson
Tigers, Dennis Frangione and his Texas Aggies seemed to be on the
right track.  Folks in College Station had just about forgotten that
ugly, ugly start up in Salt Lake City.  The bad news is that they'll
get a reminder of how far A&M still has to progress in their quest to
regain prominence in the Big XII this Saturday.  K-State has already
had their early-season foul up and Coach Bill Snyder has no plans for
another "L" anytime soon.  The Wildcats claw out a road win, call it
State by 7.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma
With the Texas Longhorns coming up soon for the Sooners, it is
soooooooo very tempting to consider calling a huge surprise in this
game.  Tech can score points with the best of them, just ask TCU.
Any team that is capable of hanging 70 on the scoreboard against a
team that's played in postseason bowls for the past few years is not
to be trifled with.  So, if something titanic happens at Owen Field
on Saturday, I'm admitting that I had inklings.  However, I believe
that the home scoreboard can take the pounding that the Red Raiders
bring into town.  The Boomin' Sooners should be able to score at
least 5 or 6 more points than however many Tech racks up.  Memo to
the stadium staff, though...make a trip down to the Tru-Value
Hardware store and stock up on lightbulbs for the scoreboard.

Purdue at Notre Dame
I was absolutely prepared to write Notre Dame's 2004 obituary for
this week's game against Purdue.  I figured that talented QB Kyle
Orton would carve up the Irish D like a side of corned beef.  But
that was before I saw how damned generous the Boilermaker defense was
against lowly Illinois last weekend.  I have an opinion about defense
and giving up points.  It's my thought that once a defense gets used
to letting other teams score, especially if their own offense keeps
bailing them out by winning, it becomes a habit.  It's kind of like
taking drugs..once you start, it's tough to quit.  Defensive
generosity will be bad news for Purdue on their South Bend swing this
Saturday.  Notre Dame is usually lucky enough at home without having
any help.  Continuing the myth that Notre Dame is actually a very
good team, while shaking up the notion that Purdue is going to win
the Big Ten, call this one Irish by 6.

Auburn at Tennessee
In college football as in life, things are not always as they seem.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, right?  Tennessee won a
huge game against their hated rivals from Florida two weeks ago.  And
reading the post-game press, you'd get the feeling UT was trashed.
Now, I know that Florida royally screwed up and basically choked away
a sure win.  But still, Tennessee played well enough to get the
victory.  Bottom line, I believe the young and talented Vols are
better than they're being given credit for being.  Conversely, the
Auburn Tigers knocked off the defending national champion LSU Tigers
last weekend in Jordan-Hare.  And without unduly pissing off my dear
friends from Tigerland, I really think the win was equal parts War
Eagle success and LSU lapse.  Bottom line, Auburn is not as good as
some people may believe they are.  I think things will get
straightened out somewhat on Saturday on the turf at Neyland.
Putting a big orange squeeze on Auburn, call this one Tennessee by 4.

LSU at Georgia
To some degree, both Georgia and LSU have been disappointments to
their respective fan bases.  But at that point, the similarities
end.  Georgia may have stumbled and bumbled their way through the
first three games, but they're still positioned for a possible run to
the Orange Bowl, assuming that they keep winning.  LSU, on the other
hand, is perhaps already out of the SEC West race.  It's amazing how
much trouble a little one-point loss can cause.  And, it could be a
lesson that Georgia learns well on Saturday.  In an upset, call it
LSU by 1.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2004  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST  79
GAMES CORRECT    61
PCT CORRECT      77.2%

=============================================================

Hi Propheteers, welcome to another crazy week of college football.  I
didn't have a great record last Saturday, but I did manage to keep my
overall percentage at a healthy 77% plus.  I, like many of you,
attended a college game and had a terrific time.  Great weather,
color, pageantry and hanging out with your best friends.  It doesn't
get any better does it?  Well, one thing that WOULD be better is to
get a few more games picked correctly, here on The Prophet Speaks.
Are you ready to see me try?    Then as Buddy Holly would say, "well,
all right...."

Thursday, September 23
Miami at Houston
I note that this Thursday night ESPN massacre is being played at
Reliant Stadium, the home of the NFL Houston Texans.  I believe it
might be a great idea to let the pros slide in as ringers on the side
of the local Cougars.  The gambling gambinos would love it all.  Oh
sure, the Hurricanes would still come out on top.  But perhaps the
Texans, working in cahoots with the University of Houston, could
cover the spread.  And from ESPN's standpoint, anything that keeps a
game competitive until the 4th quarter is a good investment.
Hurricanes by 17.

Friday, September 24
BYU at Boise State
A lot of folks are calling BYU schizophrenic, indicating that you
never know which Cougar club may show up for a particular game.  But
I disagree with this multiple personality notion.  BYU is simply a
slightly-above-average football team that got "kind-of" lucky on
opening night.  For the most part, lining up against better teams has
resulted in a pretty consistent and compelling loss for BYU.   This
Friday's game offers an especially  great danger to the Provo posse,
as they travel to Idaho to ride in a Bronco roundup.  BSU is the most
dangerous kind of good team, namely a good team that somehow keeps
slipping under everyone's radar.   By the time Cougar radar gets a
good fix on Boise State, I think it's gonna be too late.  Broncos by
10.

Saturday, September 25
Syracuse at Virginia
College football fans have been mightily impressed with how well
Virginia has played in this new season.  And conversely, folks have
been shocked to see how sorry Syracuse has become over the last
couple of years.  Look for Saturday to bring more of the same, with
scads of people being impressed by the Wahoos and even more fans
holding their nose while watching Syracuse.  Cavaliers by 16.

N.C. State at Virginia Tech
VaTech and NC State have something in common this year.  Both teams
have lost close contests when playing recent defending national
champs.  Unfortunately for Chuck Amato's Wolfpack, the ACC-newby
Hokies also have figured out how to bounce back from such a loss.
Drilling State for conference win number two, call it Virginia Tech
by 14.

Vanderbilt at Navy
Nautically speaking, one would expect a bunch of Commodores to be
able to handle themselves when visiting the Naval Academy.  However,
I expect that the Annapolis Middies have plans to mutiny on Saturday,
putting a bounty on a win over visiting Vanderbilt.  Navy by 3.

Air Force at Utah
When Urban Meyer's Utah "Air Force" catches sight of the Air Force
Academy's pass defense, they're gonna salivate like fat kids begging
for chocolate chip cookies at the Doubletree.   Look for the Utes to
sink their teeth into the Falcon secondary on Saturday, UU by 21.

Mississippi at Wyoming
On paper, I figure Ole Miss to be a better football team than
Wyoming.  But as we all know, games are played on the field, not on
paper.  The Rebs are just not a very good road team, and this contest
comes down in the faraway Rocky Mountain home of Wyoming.  Therefore,
based on the distance being travelled, I'll pull out an upset in this
intersectional clash, call it Cowboys by 2.  And FWIW, Ole Miss ain't
THAT good at home, either. :)

Iowa at Michigan
It hasn't been the best two weeks for "Blue".  First, there was that
totally-unexpected unpleasantness down in South Bend two weeks ago.
Following up that debacle, the mighty Wolverines, formerly considered
an outside contender for a national championship, had to use overtime
to finally escape San Diego State...in the "Big House", no less.
Speaking of overtime, I'll bet that this year's edition of Maize and
Blue fans are running low on patience.  A second loss of the season,
coming at home and in-conference, would seem unthinkable.  However,
the faithful should actually put some thought into the possibility of
starting the year 1-2.  Thought yes, but concrete plans, maybe not.
Finding a way to win the Big Ten home opener, I'll call it Michigan
by 3.

Purdue at Illinois
I'm assuming that Purdue QB Kyle Orcutt has designs on an NFL career
for his future.  However, after the surgery he'll perform on the
Illini secondary this Saturday, medical school could be a fall-back
plan worth consideration.  My advice to the Illini is to review and
reconcile their Blue Cross coverage sometime well before kickoff.
Purdue by 24.

Michigan State at Indiana
Has there been a bigger Big Ten disappointment in 2004 than the
Spartans of John L. Williams?  Perhaps big John should have skipped
his summer trip to Mount Kilimanjaro in favor of a directional
coaching retreat.  And as bad as things are up in East Lansing, the
complete opposite is true in Bloomington.  The Hoosier season is
already a smashing success, as IU has actually won a game.  As far as
Gerry DiNardo and company are concerned, "Great Expectations" is only
a book at the campus library.  Speaking of reading, look for John L
to read his Spartans enough of a riot act to motivate them to a close
road win this Saturday.  Not pretty at all, but perhaps effective
enough to salve Spartan wounds, Michigan State by 6.

Washington at Notre Dame
Coach Ty Willingham has seemingly righted the direction of this
year's Fighting Irish.  Last Saturday, they closed out their conquest
of the state of Michigan in successive weekends.  Coach Up and Down
seems to have things blowing his way right now, but he might want to
consider the consequences.  Winning a few more games is going to
convince some of the Domer faithful that wins over USC and Tennessee
are clearly on the horizon.  Now, we knowledgeable and non-ND alumni
fans clearly know better.  But on this Saturday, look for Willingham
and company to continue painting themselves into a corner with
another solid home victory.  Fighting Irish by 10.

Texas Tech at Kansas
Last weekend, the Tech Raiders scored more points than some teams
score in an entire month.  So, that's especially bad news for the
impotent Kansas Jayhawks.  Look for another offensive explosion to
occur Saturday, as Tech scores points somewhat faster than Kansas can
answer `em.  Texas Tech by 14.

Mississippi State at LSU
Last weekend saw both Mississippi State and LSU losing close football
games, but THERE is where the similarity ends.  While the Bayou
Bengals fell by 1 point to a highly regarded Auburn club on the road,
Sylvester Crooms' Bullpuppies lost AT HOME to MAINE.  Maine?  Now,
not to go regional here, but NO SEC team needs to be losing a
football game to Division 1-AA Maine.  Maybe the Black Bears could
hold their own in cross country skiing.  But football?  Mississippi
State ought to be ashamed of last weekend.   Sadly, things are not
going to improve at all for MSU Saturday, as they climb into the ring
with a bloodied and angry bunch of defending SEC champions.  This
one'll be ugly.  LSU by 24.

Kentucky at Florida
After seeing UF do everything EXCEPT defeat mighty Tennessee last
weekend, one would assume that Kentucky will prove little challenge
for Ron Zook's lizards.  But as we all know, rappin' Ronnie's road
record is much stronger than the home slate.  His teams have saved
some of their worse disappointments for Ben Hill Griffith Stadium.
Saturday afternoon could offer another opportunity to build on that
Zook mystique.  However, I don't believe any skullduggery will occur
courtesy of the UK Wildcats.  Kentucky just don't have the scratch to
get it done down in G'ville.  Florida by 14.

Boston College at Wake Forest
A lot of folks were very impressed with Wake Forest's opening-day
performance.  Although the Deacs ended up losing to Clemson, they DID
demonstrate a dominating line and rushing game.  However, the next
couple of weeks have placed the season more clearly in focus.  What
looked like a quality loss at first now clearly labels Wake Forest as
THE only team to have lost to Tommy Bowden and company so far in
2004.  One IS the loneliest number, and look for the Deacs to remain
lonely on Saturday as their future conference opponents from Boston
College fly into town.  Getting an early sniff of success in the ACC,
call this one Eagles by 13.

The Citadel at Auburn
Folks in Tigerland would have been ecstatic if you'd told them 2004
would include wins over LSU and the Bulldogs.  But that is exactly
what's about to happen, in consecutive weekends no less.
Unfortunately, these "Bulldogs" are not the pups from Athens,
Georgia, but rather a bunch of short-hairs from up at the Citadel.
Look for Tommy Tuberville's Tigers to run a little boot camp of their
own on Saturday, as they kick the Citadel clean out of Jordan-Hare
Stadium.  Auburn by 35.

Louisiana Tech at Tennessee
Jeez Louise.  Last weekend, LaTech lines up against the wicked Miami
Hurricanes.  And on this Saturday, they hit to road up to Knoxville,
Tennessee, to play Phil Fulmer's UT Volunteers.  It might be time to
put the entire Bulldog gridiron squad on 24-hour suicide watch.
Absorbing a second solid beating within a week, look for LaTech to
get spanked at Neyland Stadium.  Tennessee by 28.

Memphis at UAB
Last weekend, the UAB Blazers let one of Florida State's backs (Leon
Washington) run for over 100 yards.  Now, not discounting Mr.
Washington's talent, I still think it suffices to say that anyone
allowing the presently-coached Seminole offense to gain ANY
SIGNIFICANT yardage via the ground game has issues.  And the worst
issue in the Steel City on Saturday would be one DeAngelo Williams.
Mr. Williams is quite simply one of the best backs in the country.
Look for it to be a long evening at Legion Field.  Memphis by 21.

Washington State at Arizona
The Wildcats have come close, but have yet to taste any winning
success in 2004.  However, this weekend looks to be the time and
place that the Mike Stoopes hire starts to pay dividends.  Look for
this to be the first of many career wins for Mike, as well as the
first opportunity for the other members of the Pac Ten to start
hating anything associated with the surname Stoopes.  Arizona by 7.

Alabama at Arkansas
A promising Alabama season got some bad news last Saturday, as
starting QB Brodie Croyle went down for the year.  Now admittedly,
the Tide didn't have a lot of offense to start with.  But, losing
your signal-caller before a big SEC road contest is never to be
considered lucky.  Speaking of callers, the crowd at Arkansas will,
as usual, show up loaded and calling sooooey pig until their throats
close up.  So, whichever unfortunate Alabama backup QB inherits first
team duty is going to be in for a rough night on the road.  Home
piggies by 7.

Penn State at Wisconsin
Barry's Badgers return to Madison as a very beat-up football club.
And speaking of beat up, here comes crusty old Joe Paterno.  Now,
some would say that old and beat-up are mutually-inclusive terms.
There's no denying that in the last couple of years, JoPa's gotten
beat up more than his share of times.  Maybe the old man is ready to
dish it out a bit.  No time like the present I'd say, with Wisconsin
still licking their many wounds.  Kicking `em while they're down,
call this one a Penn State upset win.  Nittany Lions by 3.

Clemson at Florida State
Tommy Bowden, the up and down coach of the Clemson Tigers, should
feel right at home on the road in Tallahassee this Saturday.  Back
home in South Carolina, the glow of late 2003 has totally gone dark
with back-to-back upset losses.  Once again, folks are screaming for
a Bowden pelt.  Similarly down in Tallahassee, the same is true, as
Tommy's younger brother Jeff is only slightly more popular locally
than Osama Bin Laden.  Now you might think that the loser of this
game is in line for a firin', come season's end, but that's not
actually true.  It appears that Daddy Bowden at FSU has no intention
in making a change in his son's employment status, no matter how
wretched and sickly his play-calling and preparation appears to be.
So Jeff Bowden remains unaccountable and untouchable for his
performance, so long as Bobby and/or wife (and mama) Anne Bowden
is/are alive.  Unfortunately for the Tiger-coachin' Bowden, mama has
no pull with the Clemson trustees.  Can FSU save Tommy's job two
years in a row?  It could happen...it really could.  But it won't, so
let's call it Seminoles by 12.

======7 0 8========= 1 2 0 9 =============================

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  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2004  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST  55
GAMES CORRECT    43
PCT CORRECT      78.2%
=============================================================
Greetings from Florida, the hurricane capital of the world.  Looks
like we're about to get another little kiss from a storm, this time
it's Ivan doing the damage.  Quite a few of my kind readers have
written, inquiring as to the safety and health of me and my family,
and I thank you.  We are fine.  In Tallahassee, we expect mid-
tropical storm level winds later, and some rain of course.  The good
folks west of here are the ones in for a beating tonight.  So, keep a
kind thought for the peoples of Pensacola, Mobile, Biloxi and all
points in between.  It will be a long night in their neck of the
woods.

But above it all, you have to admire the southern spirit in the face
of danger. I saw a photo from New Orleans today.  On a boarded up
window, some spirited cajun soul had written "Welcome to New Orleans
where we don't fear hurricanes, we drink `em."   Here's hoping we're
all drinking a toast to good fortune tomorrow, my friends. :)


Thursday, September 16
California at Southern Miss

***THIS GAME HAS BEEN POSTPONED DUE TO HURRICANE IVAN ***
Now, you'll have to wait until December to see who I picked. :)

Friday, September 17
Connecticut at Boston College
This Friday night contest will show the nation both the past and
future of the Big East Conference.  After this season, the BC Eagles
will fly away to the new and improved ACC.  And, Connecticut is one
of the most recent and promising teams to join the Big East.  This
battle could also determine which (if any) team is most likely to
stand in the way of a West Virginia cakewalk to the conference
title.  At home, I wouldn't look for BC to let the Huskies stand in
their way this Friday night.  Taking advantage of their last shot at
the Big East ring, the Eagles will ring UConn's bells, call it by 10.

Saturday, September 18
Duke at Virginia Tech
After a couple of non-conference skirmishes, the Hokies of VaTech
welcome their first ACC conference game to Lane Stadium.  And after
they see how it all shakes out, the home folks are gonna be
saying, "hell, Billy Joe, we shoulda done this long times ago, you
know?"  I see a laugher to start the ACC marriage in Blacksburg, with
Tech carving up Duke by 24.

Maryland at West Virginia
Last year marked the turning point in the Rich Rodriguez era at West
Virginia.  The Mountaineers returned to football prominence, coming
painfully close to winning the Big East conference title.  In fact,
about the only thing negative that could be said about 2003 was that
WVU was smoked twice by the Maryland Terrapins.  So, you'd know that
revenge has got to be on the minds of the Morganton hillbillies.
(OK, I admit that instead of "revenge", they'd call it "gettin'
even", but...)  With Fat Ralph and his Terps making the journey up
into the mountains, it would seem that things are finally in West
Virginia's corner.  But, as any Florida State fan (like me) will tell
you, there IS something to the idea that certain teams have certain
other teams' number.  Ralphie boy just seems to know how to push
Rich's defensive buttons, and I see no reason it won't happen again.
Much closer this time, but still a loss for the homefolks.  Maryland
by 7.

Nebraska at Pittsburgh
After last weekend's unexpected home loss, it's probably a good time
for Bill Callahan to be getting out of town with his Cornhusker
squad.  If memory serves me well, Pro Bill had some decent success in
Pittsburgh, back when he was running the Oakland Raiders.   Look for
Coach C and his cornboys to "iron" things out in the steel city this
Saturday.  Marry a little more Midwestern power to this new-fangled
west coast offense and we'll call it Nebraska by 10.

Central Florida at Penn State
Joe Paterno has won 320 division-1 college football games in his long
tenure at Penn State University.  And, that puts Joe only 211 games
behind the all-time winning record of the visiting Central Florida
coach, assuming the George O'Leary's can be believed.  Gee, I can't
think of any reason to doubt him. :) Look for Joe to creep a little
closer to the "almost Gipper" this weekend.  Nittany Lions by 21.

Akron at Virginia
Can someone please tell me why, in the name of God, that UVA feels
the need to line up against mighty Akron this weekend?  The country
is already very impressed with the character and performance of the
2004 Wahoos.  What value can be had by beating the everlovin' snot
out of the Zips?  Well for one thing, it offers the Prophet an
opportunity to pick himself up a cheapie win, something I don't take
lightly after last weekend's mess. :) Virginia by 28.

Utah at Utah State
This is my two-fer smile game of the week.  Why?  For all college
games, I'm picking at about a 78% clip.  But for games involving Utah
teams, I'm sub-five hundred.  By picking the Utes to massacre the
Aggies in this contest, I'm claiming to be right twice.  I get credit
for the Utah win AND the Utah State loss.  George O'Leary isn't the
only con artist associated with college football. <g> Utah by 24.

USC at BYU
After last weekend, I'd guess that BYU and their fans have seen
enough of the Pac Ten.  However, it gets worse this week as the
defending national half-champs ride into Provo on a Cougar Hunt.
Could this be the week that I go 100% on Utah games?  Yep, I do
believe so.  I also believe in Pom-Pom Pete Carroll's ability to
solve the mysteries of the BYU offense to a degree necessary to
achieve a nice medium rout.  Trojans by 17.

Portland State at Fresno State
After Fresno State began their season with successive stunning wins
at Washington and at Kansas State, it's so tempting to imagine lowly
Portland State sneaking up on THEM back home in the Valley.  It HAS,
after all, been a crazy year so far.  But, I don't think the year has
gone loco enough to allow perhaps the worst team in the Big Sky
conference to upset what appears to be a legit top-ten club at
Fresno.  So, I can't imagine a surer bet to go 3-0 than Pat Hill's
Bulldogs.  FSU West by 91.  Just kidding, let's call it 31.

Indiana at Kentucky
People at IU and UK sometimes bristle at the basketball-only
attitudes people have about their athletic programs.  So in an effort
to uncharacteristically show some empathy and sensitivity, I've
decided to steer away from any hoop insinuation in this year's pick.
I see a hard-fought contest that might go down to the final buzzer.
Call it Indiana by a couple of free throws.

Vanderbilt at Mississippi
Most people would say that new Rebel QB Michael Spurlock seems to be
having difficulty filling the departed Eli Manning's shoes.  But how
true is that really?  He lost to Memphis, but so did Eli.  And yes,
he did lose to Alabama.  Eli lost to Alabama a few times, too,
although not last year.  And for some reason, Manning and the Rebs
used to play among their worst games against perpetually-sorry
Vanderbilt.  Now THERE is a tradition that Ole Miss fans would like
to see changed.  It says here that Spurlock and company might just do
a better job of slapping the Commodores around this year than has
been done by the past superstars.  Rebels by 7.

Marshall at Georgia
A good case of double vision should insure a Georgia victory in this
game.  Double vision?  Well, in scene one, Georgia saw how close Ohio
State came to getting themselves beaten last weekend by the
Thundering Herd.  And in scene two, Georgia also saw how close THEY
came to getting pecked up in Lou Holtz's chicken coop last Saturday.
Something tells me that UGA will be ready to offer more focus in this
contest than one would normally expect in a non-conference matchup.
Look for the Dawgs to tilt Marshall, call it Georgia by 14.

Ohio State at N.C. State
Last year, NC State came so very close to defeating the 2002 National
Champs, even up on their home field in Columbus.  After fighting all
afternoon, the Pack finally folded in overtime.  The way that this
year's game will play out is kind of ironic, in light of all that.
NC State will be playing much closer to home, but they'll never come
anywhere near as close to beating the Buckeyes on this trip as they
did last year.  Ohio State, once again riding that fine defense,
comes south and leaves with a road win.  OSU by 10.

Georgia Tech at North Carolina
Chan Gailey may get to calling himself "the Donald" after this game.
Last weekend's win against Clemson might rekindle the possibility of
Tommy Bowden getting canned at CU.  And this weekend's road win
against the pathetic UNC Tar Heels isn't going to extend John
Bunting's contract, either.  All Chan needs to do to be the next
Donald Trump is to (a) totally intercourse up his hair and (b) learn
to say "you're fired" with panache.  Yellowjackets by 14.

UAB at Florida State
Bringing the Blazers of UAB into Tallahassee is a good move by
Florida State.  After last weekend's tough opener at Miami, something
has to happen to get that Chris Rix Heisman Trophy train back on the
tracks.  Considering the ire expressed on local sports radio shows
this week, I'd expect FSU's super-genius offensive coordinator Jeff
Bowden to really open up the old play book, er let's make that play
PAMPHLET.  Change needs to come soon at FSU, and games like this will
decide whether it happens slowly or quickly.  Like everything lately
in Seminole land, let's stick with the slower timetable.  Look for
FSU evens their record at 1-1 with a 17 point win over UAB.  Play
pamphlet....now, that's sadly funny, ain't it my Seminole brothers?

Western Carolina at Alabama
Tide Coach Mike Shula is having a great sophomore year in
Tuscaloosa.  Opening wins over Utah State and Ole Miss have built
both confidence and expectations at Alabama.  And, this weekend's
romp over the WCU Catamounts will add to both ledgers.  The secret
for Mike will be which edifice collapses first....the confidence or
the expectations.  Alabama by 28.

TCU at Texas Tech
I wonder if TCU is still pissed off that they weren't invited to join
the Big 12 Conference back when the SWC imploded.  I'll bet that
after this weekend, the Tech fans in Lubbock will not be any more
amenable to seeing the Horned Frogs on a regular basis, either.  As a
sidenote, this will be a great halftime show...both schools have good
bands.  (Can you tell the Prophet is a band dad?)  Look for Tech to
face the music at home, TCU by 5.

Oregon at Oklahoma
Duck fans thought things couldn't possibly get any worse after losing
at home last weekend to lowly Indiana.  They were so incredibly
wrong. :) Going 0-2 faster than the OU band can fire up a round of
Boomer Sooner, call this one a Duck pressing.  Oklahoma by 24.

Wisconsin at Arizona
In last weekend's opener, UA coach Mike Stoopes revealed a team that
had a solid defense, but little or no offense.  The bad news is that
when you play teams like Utah or Wisconsin, that gets you beat, as
will happen on Saturday.  But chin up, Wildcats.  Ohio State has won
a lot of football games over the last three years with no offense and
a good defense.  Maybe that thought will tide you over during a few
lean times to come.  Badgers by 14.

Clemson at Texas A&M
After a pathetic opening game at BYU, the Texas Aggies righted the
ship somewhat last weekend, posting a solid shutout against Wyoming.
But, the locals shouldn't expect a repeat performance in this week's
game.  Only Clemson is capable of shutting out Clemson, usually with
both mistakes and boneheaded coaching.  On this trip to College
Station, I'd expect the Tigers to do one, but not both.  Temporarily
cooling Coach Bowden's new hotseat, call this one Carolina Cats by 7.

Troy at New Mexico State
The bad news for the Trojans of Troy is that last weekend's upset of
Missouri has lifted the veil of secrecy covering their program.
People can now see that Troy is for real.  THEY'RE the ones with
targets on their backs starting now.  But, the news is not all bad
with this target business.  While the tin soldiers may be adorned
with bulls-eyes, the local Aggies at NMSU haven't scored too well
with their recent target shooting.  Successfully dodging the local
buckshot, call it Troy by 8.

Notre Dame at Michigan State
Lessee...what are the odds that I can finally get a Notre Dame game
right?  Oh well, gotta keep plugging.  This week's trip to East
Lansing has Irish coach Ty Willingham returning to his alma mater,
Michigan State.  Don't be surprised if the outcome on the field
Saturday gets Ty's alumni parking pass revoked.  Fighting Irish by 3.

LSU at Auburn
Who says that early conference games are rarely significant?  This
SEC-West catfight will probably determine the participant in
December's SEC championship game.  This contest is being played in
the Auburn cathouse, but I'd expect Tommy Tuberville's tabbies to be
the ones being buried in the litterbox by games' end.  Look for LSU
to pound Auburn by 13, unless Hurricane Ivan ends up pounding both
teams into a postponement.

Florida at Tennessee
Last weekend, the people of Gainesville were really sweating out
Hurricane Frances.  It wasn't that they were that concerned about
their city or houses.  They just didn't want another game postponed
or cancelled, which would facilitate the Gators making a trip to
Tennessee without having played a single down. Historical tracking
maps would rate THAT a category five disaster.  Even with the opening
day rout of a mid-level MAC team, I still don't see it going that
well on Saturday for the Sunshine State's beloved "Gates".  Look for
the Volunteers put a spin on Florida, call it UT by 6.

********* S ********* I ************ Y ********

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2004  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST  24
GAMES CORRECT    21
PCT CORRECT      87.5%
=============================================================

I had unusually good luck with last-minute games last week, my loyal
subjects.  Two notable overtime contests both broke my way after
being headed for the loss column for most of the game.  Way to go,
Clemson and LSU.  Tiger power.  For the week, I was 19 for 22, which
is actually quite good.  If not for my inability to pick games
involving Utah teams (I was 1 for 3 on the BYU, Utah and Utah State
games), I would really be cooking early in 2004.  Maybe I'd best give
up on the state of Utah.

And one more thing...YES I KNOW that Dennis Erickson no longer
coaches at Oregon State.  I just had one of those brain farts,
folks.  Give me a break, I'm getting old.  I know you guys all make
mistakes, too.   Hell, YOU read this newsletter, don't you?  However,
I'll grant you this...you're not stupid enough to make your mistakes
on the internet in front of thousands of semi-knowledgeable people. ;)

Thursday, September 9
Missouri at Troy State
In addition to being Trojan home turf, the area around Troy, Alabama
is also considered to be Tiger Territory, due to the town's proximity
to Auburn University.  Although the Mizzou cats aren't the breed
favored by the locals, they'll find enough to their liking Thursday
night to prowl outta town with a road victory.  Look for Brad Smith
to pile up a few more Heisman-like numbers in south Alabama.
Missouri by 17.


Friday, September 10
Oregon State at Boise State
Oregon State, coached by MIKE RILEY, played their hearts out last
Saturday night against LSU.  If not for some kid doing his Florida
State shtick and missing a bunch of kicks, the Beavers would have
recorded their first-ever win over an SEC school.  In short, OSU was
primed and strung.  And, they'd better have short memories because IF
they continue to dwell on what might have been against LSU, the Boise
State Broncos are more than capable of doin' it to the Beavers THIS
Friday.  I don't know why, but I got a feelin' that last Saturday's
heartbreak isn't quite healed up.  In an upset, BSU by 2.

Florida State at Miami(FL)
Just in case you didn't read my pick on this game last week, here is
a reprint.  The date has changed, but I still see the outcome to be
the same...unfortunately.  And FWIW, this game may not get played on
Friday, either.   Another damned storm is headed towards south
Florida, scheduled to arrive on or near...you guessed it...Friday
night.

Prevailing thought in Tallahassee is optimistic, folks.  Many, many
FSU fans, as well as our local "in the know" types (Hi Camster!) say
that IF Florida State can just get past Miami, they have an excellent
chance to line up in the Orange Bowl for the national title.  And on
the other side, Coach Bobby Bowden says that the easiest way to
recover and play for a national title after a loss to Miami is to
play them at season's beginning.  Well, it sounds like the Noles
can't lose.  Yeah, sure.  Miami by 3.  Ouch.

Saturday, September 11
Western Michigan at Virginia Tech
The Hokies showed up and fought the good fight in their opener
against USC.  But thanks to the SC talent and (some would say) a
rotten call on offensive pass interference, the Virginia hilltribe
couldn't conquer the Trojan Horse.  Look for them to have a happier
time in the saddle this Saturday as the WMU Broncos come trotting
into Blacksburg.  Look for Beamer Ball to make gourmet French treats
outta this MAC herd in short order.  Virginia Tech 14.

Louisville at Army
Let's see, Louisville, Kentucky is in the heart of America's finest
horse country.  The thoroughbred bloodlines of the bluegrass state
are well known in equine circles.  I know, I know, Louisville's
nickname is "Cardinals", not horses, but stick with me, I'm riding a
winner here, folks.   The U.S. Military Academy, aka Army, has chosen
the mule to be their mascot.  OK, you figure it out. What would you
rather be associated with...a thoroughbred or a mule?    As for my
official pick, let's just say that there's a big gap between the top
and bottom rungs of the Conference-USA ladder.  L'ullville by 24.

North Carolina at Virginia
The Heels from Tobacco Road had one helluva time subduing mighty
William and Mary last Saturday.  Such a sorry opening shot doesn't
bode well for their powder staying dry during the ACC wars that are
about to begin.  Look for the hometown Wahoos to give the folks from
Chapel Hill a good reason to start dreaming about basketball season,
because their football team stinks like a dead cat in the shrubbery.
Virginia by 17.

Temple at Maryland
Have the Temple Owls decided that their entire out-of-conference
schedule will consist of ACC teams?  Well, in the past, that might
have been a meritorious idea, but the new Atlantic Coast Conference
is pretty darned formidable.  Hey birds, if you're gonna fly into ACC
territory, I'd suggest playing North Carolina and/or Duke....in
football, of course.  Maryland by 12.

Penn State at Boston College
2004 presents the BC Eagles with a golden opportunity.  With Miami
and Virginia Tech already having departed the Big East, Boston
College could have a chance to win a conference crown and gain a BCS
bowl invitation.  Speaking of conference crowns and BCS invitations,
Penn State used to regularly collect both.  It's sad to say, but I
have a feeling that neither team is going to reach either goal this
year.  But, look for the Eagles to have a nice home opener.  BC by 3.

Indiana at Oregon
Gerry DiNardo takes his IU Hoosiers westward in search of some
quality Duck huntin'.  But, he'll find that Eugene will be no happy
hunting ground for his misfit outdoorsmen from Bloomington.  These
rainy-day ducks from the Pacific northwest generally return fire
pretty heavily.  Look for the quacks to find the cracks in the
Hoosiers' front wall pretty easily.  Oregon by 16.

Colorado at Washington State
Gary Barnett's Buffs have had a very tough off-season.  In between
the criminal accusations, coaching suspensions and NCAA eligibility
hearing rejections, good news has been hard to come by in Boulder.
However, last weekend's cliffhanger win against hated Colorado State
brought smiles to the black and gold, if only for the evening.  As
for this Saturday's game against Washington State, I have two
suggestions for CU fans.  First, if you're into classic history, tune
in and wait for ESPN to run the commercial where Kordell Stewart
pulled the miracle TD pass outta himself against Michigan several
years ago.  And, if you're more into the here and now, skip THIS game
and tune in to the USC-Colorado State game being played in LA.
Misery loves company, but even more than that Misery loves watching
their biggest rivals getting their asses beaten. :)   Wazzoo Cougars
by 12.

Colorado State at USC
The defending national half-champ USC Trojans got a bit of a start
during their east-coast opener.  It seems that a bunch of Virginia
hillbillies hadn't gotten the word of Troy's invincibility.  USC was
saved, in the end, by the steady play of Reggie "The President" Bush,
who showed the younger Trojan receivers how it should be done.  And
based on recent national polls, President Bush seems to be on an
upswing.  Sooo, I'd say things are looking right for a more
comfortable SC win in the HOME opener.  And speaking of polls, Pom
Pom Pete and company might want to eyeball what happened to LSU in
the polls after a sorry performance at home against Oregon State.
Look for USC to feast on barbecued mutton as they carve up Sonny
Lubick's Rocky Mountain Rams in SoCal.  Trojans by 17.

BYU at Stanford
A lot of people feel that Stanford is, at best, the second-worst team
in the Pac Ten.  However, it seems that their opening opponents, San
Jose State, failed to get that message.  In a similar manner, BYU's
opening opponent, legendary Notre Dame, also failed to account for
the Cougars' prowess at home in the Wasatch Mountains.  So, as these
two unbeaten teams clash in Palo Alto, I believe the winner will be
determined by the team that does the appropriate level of diligent
research prior to kickoff.  But, we ARE talking about football
players here, so the more likely scenario is to imagine some last
minute cram-study sessions for both teams.  Let's just say that the
Cougars are the more likely group to have nothing better to do on a
Friday night than study game films.    There's a reason BYU always
finishes dead last on that "party schools" ranking.  Continuing a
good start, call this one Cougars by 2.

Fresno State at Kansas State
K-State fans watching TV were treated to an awesome display of
football ferocity during last week's opening game(s). Unfortunately,
the firepower to which I'm referring occurred up in Seattle,
Washington, courtesy of Pat Hill and his Fresno State Bulldogs.
While Bill Snyder's Wildcats were playing finicky before putting away
Western Kentucky, FSU West served notice that they're ready to again
shake up the BCS.  And when this one's over, the folks in Manhattan
won't leave the stadium happy.  Oh, they'll still be celebrating a
win, it's just that it won't be by much. K-State by 5.

Iowa State at Iowa
Over the last few years, especially during the Seneca Wallace era,
the Cyclones of Iowa State enjoyed unprecedented success on the
football field, and especially against their rivals over at Iowa.
But things have begun to return to normal out in Cornland.  Iowa is
playing well, and Iowa State is not.  ISU may blow into Iowa City
with other ideas, but I see calm skies for most of the afternoon.
Look for a smooth Hawkeye flight on Saturday, call it Iowa by 21.

UNLV at Wisconsin
When a bunch of college football-playin' guys from Las Vegas open a
season with road games AT Tennessee and AT Wisconsin, I have only two
words to offer.  Point spread.  Someone ought to look into any new
car purchases among the Rebel squad or coaches.  Beating UNLV, if not
the spread, call this one Badgers by 17.

Central Michigan at Michigan State
I was going to skip this game because it appeared, at first glance,
to be a classic "gimme".  I don't like being accused of padding my
record with silly no-lose picks.  But Michigan State is fast becoming
the Forrest Gump box of chocolates for college football.  Early in
the season, you never know what you're going to get.  But unlike a
box of chocolates, it's almost never really good.  Still, look for
the Spartans to chew their way through the Chippewa nation in their
East Lansing home opener.  State by 14.

Southern Miss at Nebraska
Let's see....last year, Nebraska was so bad, so substandard, that
they fired head coach Frank Solich at season's end.  Then, they went
out and spent big bucks to bring in a professional coach with a
proven track record.  Why do I rehash the past eight months of Husker
history?  Because EVEN with NU being so supposedly awful last fall,
they still pounded Southern Mississippi down in Hattiesburg.  I can't
think of any reason things will fly any higher for the Eagles up in
Lincoln.  Nebraska may not yet be "back", but they're still far
enough along to beat up USM.  Cornboys by 16.

UCLA at Illinois
Now, you all know how I feel about the Fighting Illini's 2004
fortunes.  I actually stuck my neck out and picked a Division 1-AA
opponent to beat them at home last weekend.  And, as should be the
case, I got smoked on the choice.  But you get the drill....I really
don't think Illinois is much of a threat to make a BCS bowl, to say
the least.  OK, I had to eat some words last weekend, as UI pounded
Florida A&M.  This week should up the ante a bit.  Although my Trojan
pal Rebel Fred would vehemently disagree, UCLA is at least marginally
better than an average 1-AA team.  Look for the Bruins to bear up
against the Illini onslaught, UCLA by 3.

Marshall at Ohio State
OSU looks to be somewhat of a light version of their 2002 selves.
There's no Maurice Clarett, but they still play a smash-mouthed run-
oriented offense, which produces literally tens of points. <g> OK,
Ohio State has very little offense...and they couldn't throw the ball
to save their lives.  But, they can damn sure play defense.  On
Saturday, that'll be their saving grace, because their MAC-daddy
opponents, the Thundering Herd of Marshall, CAN play offense.
Buckeyes by 3.

Auburn at Mississippi State
Being an alum of Alabama, new Bulldog coach Sylvester Crooms should
know a thing or two about playing and beating the Auburn Tigers.
And, if he could line up in Starkville with one of his old Tide
teams, I have no doubt he'd skin the Alabama cats.  However, even
though they're riding an emotional high, the MSU Bullpups don't yet
have the bite to run the Tigers out of their backyard.  Yes, we can
always count on Tommy Tuberville to coach the War Eagles closer to
lesser competition.  But, there's just too much space between MSU and
Auburn at this point to even entertain an upset.  Taking a bite outta
State's bark, call this one Auburn by 10.

Georgia at South Carolina
Even before LSU's spotty performance against Oregon State, quite a
few people figured the Georgia Bulldogs to be SEC title favorites, if
not a good bet for a trip to the National Championship game.  And now
that LSU has been proven vulnerable, the world would seem to be the
Bulldogs' oyster.  UGA coach Mark Richt is considered one of the
brightest young minds in the coaching profession.  And if he's smart,
he'll think long and hard about what prowls the opposite sideline
this Saturday in Columbia.  Lou Holtz has been suckering and sacking
young hotshot coaches and their highly rated teams since the Johnson
administration.  (The ANDREW Johnson administration. :)  Holtz's
chickens may be plenty dangerous birds for Mark's doggies to be
chasin' on Saturday.  Oh sure, Georgia should and probably will
win...so long as Mark keeps both eyes on Lou the Weasel.  Bulldogs by
12.

Eastern Michigan at Florida
Even though this is a meaningless out-of-conference game, it's still
an important date in Gainesville.  It may, after all, be Florida's
only chance to record a 2004 victory over a team with an Indian
nickname.  Wink, wink.  Florida by 28.

Arkansas State at LSU
After last weekend, the folks in Baton Rouge are still in a state of
shock.  In a level of luck known previously only to the likes of
Notre Dame, the Tigers escaped an opening loss only because the
Oregon State kicker missed THREE extra points.  For this week,
there's good and bad news down on the bayou.  The bad news for LSU is
that Arkansas State has a pretty decent kicker.  The good news is
that he'll only be trying an occasional long field goal.   Judging
from the way Nick Saban's neck vein muscles were bulging out towards
the end of last week's game, I bet things have been mighty focused
this week at LSU.  Tigers by 28.

Georgia Tech at Clemson
As he watched his Clemson Tigers fritter away a two touchdown lead
last Saturday, I wonder if the phrase "house of cards" crossed Coach
Tommy Bowden's mind?  A lot was made of the new confidence and
attitude prevalent at Clemson after last season's strong finish.  But
all in all, CU was damned lucky to escape their HOME opener with a
win.  And speaking of cards, Tommy and company had better play theirs
right this Saturday as Chan Gailey and his Georgia Tech Yellowjackets
come to Death Valley.  Otherwise, Tommy Boy will be playing that same
losing hand that almost led to the unemployment line last year.  Call
it close, but call it Clemson by 3.

Mississippi at Alabama
The dynamics of this game should finally be different for the
homestanding Crimson Tide.  After dealing with the electrifying and
talented Eli Manning-led Rebels for the last three years, now they
only have to face some nobody QB named Spurlock.  So assuming that
Mike Shula doesn't actually suit up and play QB himself, Alabama
should easily slip to 2-0 on the young season with a comfortable win
at home.  In Tuscaloosa, call it Tide by 14.

Tulsa at Oklahoma State
Being a resident of Florida, I can tell you that the Prophet is
damned tired of hurricanes.  So, based simply on the nickname alone,
I'm going to pick against the Tulsa Golden Hurricane.  Look for the
Cowboys of Okie State to ride out this category zero storm from
nearby Tulsa pretty easily.  Downgrading the Hurricane to a Golden
Depression, call it Cowpokes by 16.

Wyoming at Texas A&M
At first, you couldn't see the difference.  When Dennis Frangione
first took over the Aggie program, there was a lot of hangover
resemblance to the previous R. C. Slocum regime.  But, little by
little, Dennis has put his personal stamp on A&M and the way they
play football.  In their last five contests, the Texas Aggies have,
almost without fail, given up any hope of winning or even trying by
early in the second quarter.  As Alabama fans will tell you, Dennis
knows a thing or two about quitting.  I see a pattern, and I'm taking
notice.  I really, really, really think that the Texas A&M Aggies
should be able to handle a lightweight crowd like Wyoming at home in
Kyle Field.  IF things don't work out, and A&M goes down again like a
mobster in cement shoes, look for the old Prophet to consider
quitting with regard to Aggie football.  Texas A&M by 3.

Houston at Oklahoma
Have you ever noticed that the Houston Cougar uniforms look quite a
bit like the outfits worn by the Oklahoma Sooners?  The only
difference is that the OU haberdashery runs about twice as fast and
is much bigger and stronger.  Still, you gotta admire that plan to
dress for success.  Look for Stoopes and company to strip Houston
down in short order this Saturday in Norman.  Oklahoma by 21.

SMU at TCU
The cities of Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas have been rivals for the
better part of a century and a half.  It's always a case of one-
upmanship in the Metroplex area, with regard to everything worth
bragging about.  Maybe this Saturday's big win by the hometown Fort
Worth TCU squad will make up for Big "D" getting top billing on the
airport.  Horned Froggies by 21.

Utah at Arizona
Urban Meyer's Utah Utes put on a dissection clinic last Thursday
night in Salt Lake City as their offense took apart the Texas A&M
wrecking crew defense.  However in their road openers, the Utes may
find things a little more dicey.  Former OU defensive wonderbrother
Mike Stoopes has now assumed the reins for the UA Wildcat program.
Mikey knows enough to insist that his players actually tackle the
opposing ball carriers, which should, to some degree, tame UU's
aerial "Urban Warfare".  However, nothing in the new Stoopes' resume
says anything about him understanding offense.  Back in the Sooner
juggernaut days, it was that fat guy who now coaches Kansas who
handled that. :)  And although it seems silly to say that this game
will be more defensive than Utah's last (ANY game would,
actually...), that's what will happen.  Scoring less, but still
winning game number two for 2004, call it Utah by 10.

Texas at Arkansas
When I was a little kid living in Texas, there WERE no bigger games
than Texas versus Arkansas.  The Hogs and the Horns, baby.  Southwest
Conference football at its historic best.  This game wasn't just
big....it was BIG.  But, times have changed.  Arkansas has left for
the SEC and Texas spends most of their time worrying about Oklahoma.
The good news for the dubitable Longhorn leader Mack Brown is that
this USED to be a big game.  USED to be.  Building up speed for the
eventual October trainwreck in Dallas, look for UT to win, even on
the road in Arkansas.  Longhorns by 6.

Michigan at Notre Dame
Before last weekend's opener, a prime topic for fans and commentators
was whether or not Notre Dame would win 8 games (or more) this year.
But after a season-opening upset loss to BYU, the question de jour
seems to have shifted to Coach Ty Willingham.  What do all of you
think?  Next year, will he be working for ESPN, ABC or CBS?  Notre
Dame IS a school of tradition, and quite of few of their ex-coaches
HAVE moved on to broadcasting.  Speaking of tradition, the Golden
Domers tend to get into a cranky mood when they (a) open a season 0-2
or (b) lose to their hated rivals from Michigan.  Looks like a double-
dipper year for Ty and his guys.  Michigan by 10.

Calling all Prophet fans,

Thanks to all of you for your support and comments in this, the first
big week of college football.  And I especially am happy to say that
I haven't received a single death threat yet.   I must be softening
in my old age because I'm not pissing you guys off like I used to.  :)

OK, as I might have mentioned in the Birthday Greeting this year, I
am desperately trying to cut back a bit on the size and scope of
Prophet.  There are two major reasons..... (1) short on time and (2)
continuing problems with carpal tunnel (the typing kills, combined
with all the processor work I have to do on my real job)   So, I am
definitely looking to call fewer games.  But, that's where the
squeaky wheel comes in.  Many of you have written to say "you didn't
predict the Stonybrook-Laughing Leper State game" and such.  That's
great...I need to know what you guys really, really want.  So, if you
have a specific team that you are always looking to know about, go
ahead and send me a simple mail saying "how about Boise State?"  If
enough Bronco fans write, then I'm damn sure going to include the BSU
game more often than not.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease, guys.
One note...I am getting a lot of these mails, so it's really
impossible for me to personally answer all of them. I will continue
to answer letters that really, really cry out for the personal
response.   Thanks for writing, Mom.  ; )

OK about the sticky palms.  I am continually looking for ways to make
some money on Prophet.  I am at a point in life where I could
actually retire from my real job, even though I'm only 48.  (See,
there is a God!)   I'd only need to make a small cache of change to
supplement my incredibly generous pension check.  If any of you know
anyone who'd like to "buy" Prophet for printing on napkins or baby
diapers, condom machines, whatever, please give me a shout.  I'll put
you in touch with my lawyer, who is also a Prophet reader.

And now...  I want an honest answer.  IF in the future (like next
year), I decided that I wanted to return to writing the more expanded
version of Prophet, featuring a good 35 or so contests a week, what
would it be worth to any of you?  Would anyone out there actually pay
say $20 for a year's subscription?  More?  Less?  Anything?    Would
you pay me NOT to write it?   Please be honest.   I would like
nothing more in life than to be your humble Prophet forever.  But,
I've grown a little tired of working a real job, and yet I can't
shake this addiction I have for eating on a regular basis.  I kind of
like electricity and air-conditioning as well.  : )    We won't
discuss the trips to Africa and such because I don't like being
called a greedy son of a .....

Please accept the kindest regard and blessings from your humble
Prophet.  Keep reading, keep enjoying and keep the death threats
away, OK?   And...   NO, Nebraska fans, I'm not really saying the NU
is paying their players.  I'm just being funny, OK?  Or trying to.

Thanks also to all of you lovely ladies who keep writing.  Some of
you are never gonna have to pay for Prophet.  :)   (Note to my
wife....honeybear, I'm just kidding)

Prophet

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THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST  2
GAMES CORRECT    2
PCT CORRECT      100.0% (odds on this continuing?)
=============================================================

Games of September 4 - 6, 2004.

OK, after playing it straight last week, I'm really going out on the
old limb in this, the second week of 2004 football.  And if history
is any indicator, I'll end up sawing myself off into the river of
failure.  But, you're really reading this for the laughs, not the
wins, right?  OK, enjoy my madness......


Thursday, September 2
Texas A&M at Utah
A lot of people are very, very surprised to find the Utah Utes
heavily favored in this contest.  You see, Texas A&M is what you call
a traditional power in college football, or at least they used to
be.  Well, anyone who is shocked to find the Aggies being underdogs
out in Utah probably didn't see last year's Oklahoma game.  It takes
a special team to lose 77-0.  And, I understand that Coach Dennis
Frangione has another special club ready to take the field THIS
year.  Want another surprise?  They're going to be better than anyone
thinks, starting with a Thursday night upset of Utah.  Starting this
year's ESPN weeknight slate off with a bang, call it A&M by 3.

UTEP at Arizona State
Disbelieving Alabama Bible-belters (and Crimson Tide fans) warned ex-
coach Mike Price that he was headed for a date with the devil after
he got caught in that Pensacola Beach hoochie-koo bar spring before
last.  And, they were sooooooo right.  Madman Mike signed on as the
new coach of the UTEP miners, just in time for the g-string dollar-
bill stuffin' season down south of the Rio Grande.  But before any
more partying, Mike and company are off to Tempe to face the Arizona
State Sun Devils.  Yep, Devils.  Just try to forget about all those
holy rollers down in the south, Mike.  Look for the hometown demons
to "strip" any shot Price and company have of opening with a win.
ASU by 7.


Saturday, September 4
Akron at Penn State
In spite of a recent downtown in Penn State football fortunes, it
appears that the PSU administration plans to allow Joe Paterno to
remain head coach until such time as he chooses to leave.  A loss to
Akron on Saturday might result in some restriction of said freedom of
choice.  No worries, Joe.  Your Nittany kitties should have zippo
problem winning the home opener against the Zips.  Penn State by 14.


East Carolina at West Virginia
A lot of people are picking West Virginia as a dark horse contender
for the national title.  A lot of it has to do with the Mountaineers'
weak and anemic schedule.  Well, I'm not sure about the notion of WVU
playing in the Orange Bowl, but I will agree that East Carolina ain't
gonna present much of an impediment on the way to Miami.  West
Virginia by 17.

Northern Illinois at Maryland
Remember what happened in the Maryland-NIU game last year?  It was a
huge upset, propelling the Huskies into the national picture for a
few weeks.  Could it happen again this year, even out on the road in
College Park?  Well, let's put it this way, elephants supposedly
never forget.  And, Terp coach rotund Ralph Friedgen doesn't appear
to have been on any diets.  Look for Maryland to give NIU the beating
that everyone expected last September.  Terps by 16.

Oklahoma State at UCLA
Last year, UCLA Coach Karl Dorrell refused to accept a raise in
salary, saying that he hadn't done a good enough job of coaching the
Bruins.  Obviously Karl's not a union man.  And if he loses his job
after another "not good enough" season in Westwood, I'd suggest he
skip "professional agent" as an alternate career.  That "earning your
money" schtick has no place in today's world of sports, Karl.  Look
for the visiting Cowpokes from Stillwater to put the spurs into
another zero percent increase for Karl in 2004.  Okie State by 7.

Notre Dame at BYU
At first, I thought about playing up the religious angle to this
game, namely the Catholics versus the Mormons.  But then, I decided
that denominations really don't matter in this contest being played
out in Provo.  BYU Coach Crowton and Fighting Irish boss Willingham
are both praying to ANY
God who might listen for a better 2004 campaign.  Starting off on a
losing note gets one of them closer to pillar of salt status in a
hurry.  Gary's gonna start looking like that Morton salt girl by the
time this one ticks to over.  Notre Dame by 7.

San Jose State at Stanford
I recently returned from a very enjoyable trip out to the Bay Area of
California.  About the only thing about my trip that failed to thrill
me was the traffic in and around Palo Alto/San Jose.  I spent so much
time looking at my hotel from the 8th lane of some crappy freeway
that I begin thinking it was a mirage.  I am writing this pick on a
Monday, which is five days ahead of the kickoff for this game.  If I
were the San Jose Spartans, I'd head out for Stanford Stadium by
Wednesday at the latest, in order to get there in time for the
Saturday afternoon kickoff.  And, I mean EARLY on Wednesday.
Assuming that SJSU manages to negotiate and survive the local traffic
sufficiently well to arrive for the game, they'll still find
themselves in danger of getting run over as the homestanding Cardinal
claim an opening week win.  Stanford by 3.

Miami (OHIO) at Michigan
As is legend in college football, Miami of Ohio has long been called
the "cradle of coaches", due to the number of fine field generals who
once wore Redskin colors.  (I know, now they're the Redhawks, but you
know my policy on being politically correct...)  Well, there's
ANOTHER legend in the college game that portends the outcome of THIS
contest.  Michigan Stadium, aka the Big House, is the "graveyard of
non-conference foes", especially those from the MAC.  Being one game
ahead of the Wolverines in the experience department will help, but
Miami's still coming home with an even slate.  Blue by 12.

California at Air Force
The Golden Bears and the Falcons are on opposite ends of 2004
conventional wisdom, with respect to their prospects.  Air Force is
considered a solid program facing the daunting task of rebuilding.
Cal, OTOH, is a program emerging from a long dark period, finding
themselves being considered ready for primetime.  After all, the
Bears ARE the only team that solved USC last year, and they're
expected to be much better in 2004.  Well, I'm not totally sold on
California being a top-ten program, and I'm also wary of anyone
discounting a proud and disciplined squad at the Air Force Academy.
Look for this one to be closer than any of the eggheads in Berkeley
expect.  But in the end, the Golden boys will get an opening victory
high in the Rockies.  Cal by 3.

Central Florida at Wisconsin
A lot of people think that UW tailback Anthony Davis could win the
Heisman Trophy, if he could just stay healthy.  Maybe after this
game, we could get an opinion from Central Florida coach George
O'Leary, who I understand (from his updated resume) was a three-time
Heisman winner in his playing days.  The Badgers will get the AD
campaign off to a good start, Wisconsin by 16.

Florida A&M at Illinois
This contest is the result of the Florida A&M athletic department
putting on their version of a two-year Greek tragedy.  The Rattlers
decided that they were going to be Division 1, and abandoned their
MEAC conference.
Therefore, they lost a bunch of players, guys who WOULD have been
eligible to be D-1AA, but not 1A.  As a result, they had an awful
2003 season.  Then towards the end of the pitiful campaign, the so-
called leadership at Tallahassee's smaller school decided to scrap
the change and remain D-1AA.  But, they were still stuck with the
quasi-D1 schedule that had already been initiated.  Henceforth, we
find the Rattlers opening up their season in Big Ten country.  So
what have we proven by all of this?  Something unexpected, really.
Maybe the Illini should consider dropping down to a lower division
themselves.  In a huge upset, I call this one for the Florida A&M
Rattlers, the team that no conference or division seems to want.
FAMU by 1.

Colorado State at Colorado
Colorado State coach Sonny Lubick told members of the Rocky Mountain
press corps that he was shocked to learn of the atrocious behavior
and allegations surrounding arch-rival Colorado's football program.
Considering that Sonny once coached at the University of Miami,
that's saying something. :^/   It tells you how ugly things have been
in Boulder.  Unfortunately for the CSU Rams, the team that CU will
field in Boulder, pending any other indictments, is more than capable
of logging a second consecutive win over their in-state brethren.
Buffaloes by 14.

Louisiana Monroe at Auburn
The state of Alabama isn't exactly crime-friendly, but it's a helluva
lot more liberal than they are back in Louisiana.  So, it's a good
thing that this opener between Auburn and La-Monroe isn't being
played in the land of the bayou.  The Tigers could get the death
penalty for what they're gonna do to the Indians on Saturday.  This
is textbook hate crime stuff, y'all.  Auburn by 35.

Wake Forest at Clemson
Last fall, Tommy Bowden looked to be finished at midseason.  His club
was playing horribly, and the alums were researching quality rope for
a hanging.  But then, his Tigers began a miracle run that both saved
Coach B's job AND built huge expectations for 2004.  Perhaps unfair
expectations, at that.  I wonder if the team will, by mid-season,
again be asked to save the coach's hide.  Perhaps yes, but for now I
think that Tommy can continue using his school credit cards.  Clemson
by 14.

Oregon State at LSU
Back when Oregon State coach Dennis Erickson was the head man at
Miami, some of his worst experiences occurred in the great state of
Louisiana.  I can think of a couple of Sugar Bowls that went sour in
a hurry, for example.  This weekend, look for Dennis and his OSU
Beavers to be hard-pressed to find any great improvements in the
local attitude(s) towards outside football teams.  The Beavers will
have little success damming any bayou waters Saturday night in Baton
Rouge.  Look for LSU to kick off 2004 with a little extra Cajun
spice....  Tigers by 14.

Richmond at N.C. State
A lot of people in Raleigh have worried about what would happen to NC
State football after Philip Rivers left.  And, that dreaded moment
has finally arrived.  And if you want proof that Chuck Amato IS a
good coach, consider this.  Back in 2003, he has Philip the Great.
Opening game?  Against defending national champion Ohio State, on the
road no less.  But in 2004, no Rivers.  The first home game is
against lowly Richmond.   Looks like someone in the scheduling
department at NC State is doing their job. : )  Look for 2004 to at
least get off to a successful and happy start.  Wolfpack by 21.

Tulane at Mississippi St.
Last winter, history was made when Sylvester Crooms became the first
African-American head coach in the deep-south SEC.  At the time, many
people couldn't actually understand why it hadn't happened a year
earlier, when the Alabama top job became suddenly vacant, thanks to
the discretions of Dollar-Bill stuffin' Mike Price.  After the
opening contest in the Crooms regime at Starkville, look for people
to still be wondering why Sylvester didn't end up in Tuscaloosa.
Starting his puppy farm off with good bloodlines, call this one for
Crooms and the Bulldogs.  MSU by 3.

Utah State at Alabama
Last winter, history was made when Sylvester Crooms became the first
African-American head coach in the deep-south SEC.  At the time, many
people couldn't actually understand why it hadn't happened a year
earlier, when the Alabama top job became suddenly vacant, thanks to
the discretions of Dollar-Bill stuffin' Mike Price.  After the
opening contests both at Alabama and Mississippi State, look for
people to still be wondering why Sylvester didn't end up in
Tuscaloosa.  The Tide should win the home opener against the lightly-
regarded Aggies of the west, but Mike Shula and company had better be
a whole lot better this year.  That "I only had a little bit of time
to install my offense" notion won't work this year.  And for the
record, after having followed Shula's career, may I ask one
question?  What offense?   Alabama by 8.

North Texas at Texas
Say what you will, but Longhorn coach Mack Brown actually has an
excellent won-loss record.  Now I'll admit that he's never come close
to winning a game that really mattered.  But still, he can pile up
those "W"'s in pointless contests.  This weekend brings one of those
clashes upon which Mack has honed his reputation.  Doing what made
him great, Brown leads the herd to a big opening win, Texas by 24.

Bowling Green at Oklahoma
The opening contest of 2004 finds the mighty, and previously
unbeatable, OU Sooners riding a two-game losing streak.  What are the
chances that the Boomers could actually lose a third game in a row,
to Bowling Green no less?   They're about the same as the chance that
Bob Stoopes would admit that his club should have had to buy tickets
to get into last year's Sugar Bowl.  Zero, in other words.  Zero also
sums up Bowling Green's shot at a win in this year's opener.  They'll
be lucky to score twice.  OU by 24.

Western Illinois at Nebraska
Change is in the breeze in Lincoln.  There's a whole new coaching
regime, with solid professional bloodlines.  Could this finally be
the season that the Huskers complete more passes on the field than at
fraternity-sorority rush parties?  It could be indeed.  As for new
coach Bill Callahan, he said that he's not seen a lot of difference
in talent levels between his former Oakland Raider squad and his new
college charges.  He did admit, however, that the NU payroll was
slightly lower.   Regardless of what's being spent on players or
coaches at Big Red, they're gonna get their money's worth this
Saturday.  Call this one an old fashioned Husker pounding.  Nebraska
by 31.

Middle Tenn. St. at Florida
I hear that this game is being offered on Sunshine state satellite as
a pay-per-view, and I plan to call my local state senator to
complain.  I thought snuff films were illegal.  In a contest that
would make an al-Jazeerah anchorman squirm, look for Zook and his
Gators to behead the Blue Raiders from MTSU.  Florida by 32.


Monday, September 6
Florida State at Miami
Prevailing thought in Tallahassee is optimistic, folks.  Many, many
FSU fans, as well as our local "in the know" types (Hi Camster!) say
that IF Florida State can just get past Miami, they have an excellent
chance to line up in the Orange Bowl for the national title.  And on
the other side, Coach Bobby Bowden says that the easiest way to
recover and play for a national title after a loss to Miami is to
play them at season's beginning.  Well, it sounds like the Noles
can't lose.  Yeah, sure.  Miami by 3.  Ouch.

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=============================================================

Games of Saturday, August 28, 2004

Finally!   The season starts.  I know that all of you have as bad an
addiction to the NCAA gridiron scene as the Prophet, and we can
finally celebrate our fix on Saturday.  Oops, did I say fix?  That's
not a good word to brandish around amateur <g> athletics.

OK, there are only two games involving ANY schools of consequence
this weekend.  And unlike the rest of the year, the Prophet is, this
week, gonna make a pick on all the big games.  :)   BTW, please tell
your friends about our little land of sickness here at the Prophet
Speaks.  I'd love to add a few more suckers, er subscribers, before
we get really rolling here in 2004.


But before we start, let me say a couple of words about a very nice
lady who passed away Tuesday of this week.

==============================================================

Nancy Starling Hill was the chief of clinical chemistry at the
Tallahassee Memorial Hospital back in 1973, when I (a high school
junior at the time) first joined the healthcare industry.  Always a
charming lady, Georgia-born "Nan" loved both the UGA Bulldogs and
her adopted Seminoles of Florida State.  "The Georgia Peach" was an
early and long-time reader of Prophet.  Nan meant a lot to me as I
eventually became a clinical chemist and a laboratory manager.

Jethro Tull once recorded a song (one of my favorites) called "Life
is a Long Song".  Nan got 68 years, and I really wish we could have
all sung her song a little longer.  But it's not up to any of us, I
guess.  So, I hope you'll all have a quiet moment and good thought
about my friend and mentor Nan Hill.

I'll miss you, Nan.

================================================================

OK, here are the two picks for this weekend....

Indiana State at Miami (OHIO)
To give you some idea how lean this weekend's schedule actually is,
THIS is the second most important game being played.  Indiana
State.  Hmmmmm.  I should give an additional year's free
subscription to any of you who know their nickname. :) ISU's main
claim to athletic fame came not on the football field, but rather in
the NCAA basketball tournament.  The Sycamores (how many of you knew
it?) actually made it to the (I think the year was...) 1979
championship game, on the strength of their best player, one Larry
Bird.  Unfortunately, the team across the hardwood that night was
Michigan State, and they had a fellow named Magic Johnson, and thus
ended the general public's knowledge of and interest in all things
Indiana State.  Saturday night, the Sycamores line up against one of
the powers of the increasingly regarded Mid-America Conference, the
Miami of Ohio Redhawks.  Now all of you haters of things politically
correct know that Miami of Ohio used to be called the RedSKINS, as
in the derogatory term for native Americans.  So therefore, in a tip
of the old headdress to the past, and in keeping with my resistance
to being politically correct, I'll hope that I am correct in a
pigskin sense when I tell you that Miami of Ohio should easily
hollow out a few Sycamore trunks Saturday, making themselves a fleet
of nice new canoes in which they'll sail onto happier and more
respected hunting grounds.  RedWHATEVERS by 16.

The BCA CLASSIC, being played in Landover, Maryland
USC at Virginia Tech
Pete Carroll's Men of Troy got some bad news just a few days before
opening their 2004 campaign.  Due to the intricacies and foibles of
the American justice system, and coupled with the kindergartenish
and reactionary attitudes of the NCAA, USC will be unable to regain
eligibility for their standout receiver of a year ago, Mike
Williams.  Not that the Trojans aren't loaded anyway, but they'd
have loved to have the sticky-handed ex-sure-bet NFL first rounder
back in the huddle.  And speaking of "sticky hands", playing this
game in Washington, D.C., where sticky hands are a way of life,
seems most a most appropriate way for USC to kick-off 2004.  Last
season's national title ended up a 50/50 matter between USC and
LSU.  Remember, when it comes to divisiveness and indecision,
Washington's "Ground Zero".  As for the Mike Williams ruling, the
Hokies of Virginia Tech were actually disappointed in the NCAA's
decision on the matter as well.  You see, they had a secret plan to
get Michael Vick re-instated for one more year of college
football.   But as we all know now, neither gentleman will suit up
Saturday night.   But as with any clash of major football powers,
there'll still be plenty of professional quality (and in some cases
paid) talent on the field.  Frank Beamer and Virginia Tech will,
again this year, send several players to the NFL.  They have a
problem for this opener, though, talent or not.  You see, Pete
Carroll used to coach in the NFL....and this still may be the best
team he's ever led onto the field.  USC by 21.

OK, that's the start, folks.  See you next week with a few more
contests.  Stay outta trouble up there in D.C. you Trojan fans, and
especially you, Rebel.  And if you can't stay outta trouble, don't
get caught.

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  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2004  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks
http://workmanpoll.com/prophet.shtml

=============================================================
The Prophet's 2004 Birthday Greeting to the Masses

Thanks to all who have called and written to wish me a happy
birthday.  I have now passed 48, and the golden 5-0 is well within
sight.  I've often been told "you're not getting older, you're
getting better".  This is, of course, a complete lie.  I'm willing
to settle for "not getting worse".  And, I believe my year-to-year
winning percentage bears me out.  My ten-year rut of mediocrity
shows little deviation from its usual 72-74%.  Oh well, like I
always say, if you want a quality product, pay for it.  Better yet,
just bribe the players and win all the time.

OK, on with the birthday fun and games.  In keeping with  cherished
tradition here at "The Prophet Speaks", I again share with you, my
loving readers, many of the warm birthday greetings that I've
received from my many friends all over the world.  Thanks again for
thinking of me, y'all.  I'd like to say that you guys are the best
readers in the world, but that's sadly also a lie.  You are,
however, all that I have.  So for another year, it looks like we're
stuck with each other.  Here's what the celebrity public had to say
to me on the occasion of my 48th birthday.....


"Four years ago, my personal fortune was worth a measly 500 million
dollars.  Today, with little or no positive effort on my part, I'm
now a billionaire.  That's a lot of ketchup, my man.  I got no
complaints about the economy, if you catch my drift.   Prophet, you
and I have been tight for years, so let's just keep this OUR little
secret.  Guess who I'm voting for?"
    Teresa Heinz Kerry,
     Ketchup magnate and potential first lady


"Happy f*%K*%$ birthday from one g*@ d*#%mMed conservative to
another.  Your newsletter is so f*%#^Dng funny that I almost s*^# on
myself when I read it.  I forwarded a copy to that c*c% s@!Cking
senator Leahy from Vermont, but he hated it.  Then I remembered that
they don't have any real football teams in Vermont.  They're more
into those p*$@~y sports like soccer and such.  Oh well, happy
birthday again and keep sending my m#@t*r f*%#&^ing issues on time."
    Dick Cheney,
     Vice President of the United States

"I know that you keep making fun of me, calling me a trollop and
such.  But I showed you.  I'm getting married, and soon.  Really
married, too...not playing around like that little Vegas
shenanigan.   So there.  I even got a ring and everything.  See, I
am old and mature enough to be an adult, regardless of what you
might say.  So Happy Birthday old man.  And guess what?  I'm gonna
be wearing Jennifer Lopez's wedding dress, unless she has to use it
again.  With her, you never know.  Heck, her new hubby's already
asked me out a couple of times.  As for the dress, I know, I know,
it's a tad too large.  We're going to use the material we cut out of
the ass to make a nice tablecloth to put under the groom's cake.
And no, I'm not inviting my intended's ex-wife and newborn baby to
the wedding. That's be in really bad taste, and you know how I'm all
about being classy."
    Britney Spears,
     Engaged and respected young singer


"I've never really cared much for you OR your newsletter.  But this
year, I've decided to become a subscriber.  I'm hoping to trade it
on the inside for a case or two of Virginia Slims.   The menthols go
nicely with Laura Ashley curtains and Mexican tile.   Now, I just
have to think of SOMETHING to improve my wardrobe.  I have NEVER
looked good in stripes."
Martha Stewart
   About to be "living" with a new bunch of roommates


"Hey Prophet, happy birthday.   You know what?  I agree with Bill
Cosby.  Black folks have got to quit blaming others for their
troubles.  Prophet, it's not your fault if some brother gets 10
grand in the hole by following your picks.  BTW, I heard that you
know Bill Cosby.  You think he'd loan me 10 grand?  Get back to me,
OK?"
Pete Rose
   Gambling expert


"Most people think I didn't take the L. A. Lakers job because of my
sincere love for college basketball.  The truth is, though, that I
was embarrassed.  You see, I just couldn't remember how to spell
that Shak, er Shack, Shaack guy's first name.   And that other
guy...the one who's about to get capped for his actions in
Colorado.  Coby...Cobie...Kobey...jeez.  Where do people come up
with these bizarre names?   Even though the Lakers eventually traded
Shak, er Shack, er Shaack, or however the hell you spell it, it was
already too late for me.  And crap...did you see the name of the guy
that they DID hire as their new coach?  Talk about a Scrabble
nightmare."
Mike She-shoves-ski
    Still the head basketball coach at Duke University

"Happy Birthday, my dear man.  I hope your past year of life has
been better than mine.  I need your help, Prophet.  I know that you
are an influential man in your country, and you are probably the
only person I feel that I can turn to.  As you know, the recent Abu
Gharib prison incidents in Iraq have been well-documented.  I am
outraged by what I have read.  I saw that dog collar photo.  What's
up?  Here I am, still the president of Iraq, and I don't even get no
dirty phone calls or porn magazines.  Where's the justice?   See if
you can pass the word on.  I'm here and I'm still a player.  But,
please don't send that little hillbilly from West Virginia.  She
just ain't my type."
    Saddam Hussein,
    Still President of Iraq

===============

Welcome back to "The Prophet Speaks", folks.  In case you haven't
heard (ha ha), it's another election year.  I'll skip the old joke
about the number one holiday in Japan.  Figure that one out for
yourselves.

OK, I'm in the prediction business, and more than one person has
asked me who I thought would win the election this fall.  Political
pundits who are getting paid zillions of dollars to decide this
stuff might be a better source, but I will take a stab at calling
the November General.  But, I've decided to use a different method
of evaluating Kerry versus Bush.

Many years ago, pre-Prophet, I used to run an annual holiday college
football bowl pool.  Yes, it was gambling and yes we did it for
money.  Actually, the pool was where I got the nickname Prophet.  I
decided to use the clever double-meaning Prophet (which also sounded
like profit, which I planned on making) for my "handle".  Anyway,
the first year we ran the pool, some lady (hi Donna, wherever you
are)won the pool.  The funny part was that Donna doesn't know jack
sheeeet about football, but she got almost every game right.   I
asked her what her secret was, and she explained that it involved
team nicknames.   She found out that, for instance...a game between
Georgia and Maryland was a battle between the Bulldogs and
Terrapins.  Then, she'd try to decide which mascot was tougher.  In
that particular case, she would say "surely a bulldog can mangle a
turtle", and she'd pick Georgia.  Don't laugh.  She won a big pile
of loot.

So, let's alter but utilize the same strategy on the election.
We'll pair the candidates and the major football teams in their
relative states.  That should decide it.   And before you think I'm
nuts, I did some historical research.  Let's look at some past
elections....

Nixon vs Humphrey, 1968.   HHH was from Minnesota, home of the
(then) lowly Golden Gophers.  Nixon was from California, which was
home to USC and UCLA, both national powers at the time.  On the
surface, this was a slam dunk for Nixon.  But why was the election
so close?  Easy....Nixon was a Quaker, a man of peace.  So, that
somewhat cancelled the football prowess of the big LA schools.  But
in the end, Tricky Dick nosed out Hubie.

Nixon vs McGovern, 1972   Remember those "Don't let McGovern lick
our Dick" bumper stickers all over the South?  Well, if Humphrey and
his Gophers couldn't take down Nixon in `68, what chance did
McGovern ever have?  Do they even have a division one team in South
Dakota?  Makes you wonder why Nixon felt the need to cheat at
Watergate.

Carter vs Ford, 1976.  OK, Georgia versus Michigan looks like a
pretty tight contest.  And factoring in the business about ol' Jerry
being an ex-football player should have meant four more years of
Ford for America.  Only an offensive lineman could manage to screw
such an advantage up.  Jerry Ford played center, folks.

Reagan vs Carter, 1980   Was this over before it started?  Reagan
was "the Gipper".  The football Gods couldn't have had a more
perfect candidate.

Clinton vs Bush, 1992   Clinton was from Arkansas, which has a
pretty fair country football history.  Sooooey Hogs.  And by this
time, the football Gods had figured out that Bush the Elder was no
more a Texan than his vanquished 1988 foe Dukakis.

OK as you can see, there is something to this football team
business.  How about this year??   Bush vs Kerry.   Well, that's
easy.  I say Bush wins.  Listen to the man talk, folks.  He's a
Texan.  His daddy ain't, but he is.  And Kerry?  He's from
Massachusetts.  With all due respect to Boston College, Bahhhhston
isn't exactly famous for football prowess, while the Lone Star state
is.

In a close one, call it Bush.  275 electoral votes to 264.  Now, on
with my Birthday Greeting....

==========================================

OK, we've already touched lightly on the subject of politics and the
presidential election process.  Folks, I cannot tell you how much I
truly DREAD the next few months of campaigning.  American politics
has gotten so nasty and ugly that it's embarrassing.  I've already
started stocking up on Advil and Pepto-Bismol for the headaches and
upset stomachs that are about to come my way courtesy of the fine
supporters of Misters Kerry and Bush.

Besides the nastiness of the race itself, one thing that continues
to annoy me endlessly are the cacophony of lies and phony promises
that will be made to the gullible American public over the next four
months.  But instead of complaining nonstop on the subject, I've
decided to set an example.  Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the
Prophet's Absopostively Guaranteed Honest Campaign promises for
2004......

I hereby promise to occasionally swear in writing.  I'm no Dick
Cheney, but I damn well know a few good words.

I hereby promise to cut back on weekly number of predictions that I
will be doing, ostensibly because of my busy, busy home and work
schedule.  If I were a politician, I'd tell you how you were going
to get fewer picks, but that they'd be funnier and more accurate.
But the fact is this, dear readers.  You're getting less, and
they'll be no better than they've been the last ten years.  They may
be worse.  No, hell, we're being honest here.  They will be worse.

I promise that even though at least 30% of my readers are (for some
unfathomable reason) Kansas State fans and alumni, I will still
occasionally dare to suggest that the Wildcats might not win the
national championship.  I do promise, however, that with the
exception of their opening creampuff contest with Western Kentucky,
I'll lay off the "soft schedule" crank of the past decade.  Go
Wildcats.  ;)

I promise that I will show little or no respect and regard for any
of the major or minor religions of the world.  I also promise that I
will rag on each denomination with an equal amount of ridicule and
satire.  And a special note to my Mormon/BYU friends....it is only
your imagination.  I do NOT pick on you more than the Catholics.
Oh, here's one other special religious promise, again to the BYU
faithful.  I'll only use that husband and wive(s) joke three or four
times this year.  Really.  Remember, you all know how much I like to
use big words in my newsletter.   Well, I just can't remember how to
correctly spell polygamy any more reliably than I can the last name
of that guys who's still coaching Duke basketball.

I promise that I will still write my weekly predictions without
doing any form of research or study.  You guys have always suspected
where I was pulling these picks out of, right?  OK, I just admitted
it.  I promise you that you're wasting your time betting on my picks.

I also promise to belittle anyone publicly who cancels their
subscription for some "high and mighty" reason.  "You fail to show
political correctness"  "Your language and sexual innuendo has no
place in a sporting document"  That sort of thing.  If you want to
cancel your FREE subscription, just send me a short note saying
something simple.  "Dear Prophet.  You suck.  Quit sending me your
stupid newspaper.  Your ex-friend Brigham Young Billy."  Note to the
BYU faithful....you guys just imagined that last sentence.  :)

To my male readers, I promise that I will quit writing clandestinely
to all of your wives and girlfriends.  It hasn't gotten me anywhere
over the last ten years, so why waste the typing time?  My carpal
tunnel is getting worse anyway.  (Note to Lynn....you are an
exception, Bug.  Being married to the Rebel puts you in the Mother
Teresa class of suffering.  I'll still write to you.)

I promise that I will honor and write about any and all bowl games
that appear on the NCAA landscape.  Now, we all agree that there are
wayyyy too many post-season contests these days.  But, I suppose
that any team that stumbles into one of the new lightweight bowl
games still deserves my respect and attention.  So, bring on "Hebrew
National HotDog Company presents the Al-Jazeerah Bowl", live from a
minefield near you.

I solemnly promise to ignore any halftime show on television or in
person that does not feature and solely focus on the representative
marching bands from the institutions involved.  Now, most of you
know that my son is in FSU's band, so I have a fatherly and vested
interest in halftime shows.  But really, are we better off nowadays
with halftime shows featuring "accidental" stripteases (the
politically correct term is "wardrobe malfunction") and punk
superstars singing at staged concerts with phony fans crowded around
pyrotechnic-laden stages?  Give me a great couple of marching bands
anyday....and I promise TO watch and enjoy every minute.

I promise to quit calling folks in the hill country of Tennessee,
the Carolinas and West Virginia nasty names. I promise to quit
making fun of their colorful rural heritage, along with their
questionable ideas of randy fun on hunting trips.  OK, I only can
promise to TRY to quit making fun of the "Deliverance"
angle...that's still pretty funny.  But, I gotta be careful picking
on these hillfolk.  One of these days, some of them are going to
learn how to write and lick postage stamps, and then I'm gonna have
to move.

I promise to cut down on my use of and references to items and
memorabilia concerning Nazi Germany.  I'm beginning to get a
reputation out there, and I need to make things richtig...oops I
meant right.  I am no  bergruppensturmf hrer, you know.  I also
promise to never again call the Texas A&M Cadet Corps "the Hitler
Youth".  That's as close as I ever came to getting lynched over
something I wrote in Prophet.

Since he's not actually IN college coaching these days, this one'll
be easy.  I promise NOT to use the words "Steve Spurrier"
and "arrogant son-of-a-bitch" in the same paragraph.

And while, I'm making promises about coaches, I'll try to cut down
on the references to age, as in incredibly old age.  Joe Paterno can
coach until he's 115 for all I care.  Is it true that working at
JoPa got his job working in the athletic department at Penn State a
week after he successfully swam to the last opening on a Titanic
lifeboat?

And last and probably least, I make the same promise that I've made
and kept for well over a decade. Every week, I'll be here.  I'll be
good some weeks, terrible on more weeks.  My humor will dance near
cutting edge, but will routinely rest at mediocre and/or juvenile.
I will continue my long-standing practice of beating dead horses.
And as always, I will not tell anyone that you're reading the
Prophet.  Misery loves company, and I love you guys.  Every stinkin'
one of you.   I just don't know exactly what IS wrong with you that
keeps you coming back for more.

BUT, more is what you'll get.  That's it for this year's Birthday
Greeting to the Masses.  The next time you'll hear from me is when
we have our first games slated.  I know that you are all like me
with regard to college football.  You just can't wait.

August always seem to be the month that I anticipate the most.
That's true this year too, and even more than usual.  Even if I live
to be 91 years old, August will always be special in my life.

I'm still here folks, and I'm ready to rumble.  Thank God for
college football.

=================================

I'd appreciate it if you'd all go out and recruit some new victims
for the Prophet newsletter.   Please have them send their
subscription request to :

theprophetspeaks-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Be sure to include the word SUBSCRIBE in the subject and body of the
letter.

Or, if they'd like for me to personally sign them up, tell them to
send email to prophetfootball@..., and I'll try to respond
promptly.

BTW, if any of you get to see the Florida State University band this
fall, you'll undoubtably notice that fine-looking young junior
playing alto saxophone.  That would be Prophet Junior who is
beginning his third season as a Seminole bandsman, and his first
year as a Music Education Major.

Let's have fun this year.  It is about time for some college
football, and I can't wait!

Prophet

My dear college football Propheteers.  Your Prophet has not
forgotten you.  He's just suffering from an extreme case of lazy-ass-
procrastination.   (Plus, there's a couple of little new sidelines
I've gotten myself into.  :)

Anyway, the annual Prophet's Birthday Greeting to the Masses 2004
Edition should be out in another week or ten days.  I hope you're
all having a great summer, and like you, I can't wait for college
football.

Prophet

PS, if you can find any other suckers, er make that new subscribers,
out there, send 'em my way.  I'm sorry to say that I'm having to
double the subscription price for Prophet this year.  Seeing as how
it was free last year, I doubt that will be an real problem for most
of you poverty cases.  :)

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

=============================================================

It's time to finish up the Prophet's bowl picks for this college
season.  No matter how these selections pan out, be advised that
they were made BEFORE I began any New Year's celebratory behavior.
Happy New Year, everyone.   I'll see you all next year!

New Year's Day, 2004
The Outback Bowl,
Florida vs Iowa
It's not an unusual sight to see people collecting money outside
major sporting events, especially during the holiday season.  In
most cases, it's for charitable endeavors and the like.  However, if
you see any Gator fans manning the kettles outside Raymond James
Stadium down in Tampa, it'll be to raise money for the 2004 "Buy out
Ron Zook" campaign.  Now that Steve Spurrier is potentially back on
the market, Zookie definitely has a short shelf life, six game
winning streak including wins over Georgia and LSU or not.  Look for
the Gator fans to give `till it hurts while their guys are doing the
same out on the field.  It's just that the two groups will have
opposite motives.  UF may not prevail in a going-way manner, but it
might seem that way to their present head coach.  Gators by 10.

The Capital One Bowl,
Georgia vs Purdue
The last time Georgia and Purdue met, it was also in a "Capital One
Bowl".  Purdue stormed to a 25 point lead, only to see a furious
Bulldog rally cap a comeback Jawja win.  It's said that lightening
doesn't strike twice in the same place, but Mark Richt and UGA know
better.  They got struck by Louisiana lightening twice this year,
and it was worse the second time around.  Look for the Dawgs to
again prevail on New Year's Day, perhaps without first spotting the
Boilermakers a big lead.  Bulldogs by 9.

The Gator Bowl,
West Virginia vs Maryland
When rivals collide, the losing team usually utters those famous
words, "wait'll next year".  It's often the only way to save face,
especially if the loss was a big one.  But with this crazy bowl set-
up, re-matches are becoming more and more common.  I bet when, back
in September, Maryland's fans were laughing at the West
Virginia "next years", they didn't realize that the rematch would
occur on the first day of "next year".  Next September or October
would seem to be more than soon enough for Ralph Friedgen and the
Terps, who have little to gain in this contest.  Big winners the
first time around, they now face a Mountaineer squad that caught
fire after a close loss to Miami, and damned near won the Big East.
Procrastination isn't always a bad thing, and in Maryland's case,
haste will definitely make waste.  Giving UM the old New England
Patriots-Buffalo Bills revenge treatment, call this one for the
hillbillies.  West Virginia by 10.

The Orange Bowl,
Miami vs Florida State
When rivals collide, the losing team usually utters those famous
words, "wait'll next year".  It's often the only way to save face,
especially if the loss was a big one.  But with this crazy bowl set-
up, re-matches are becoming more and more common.  I bet when, back
in October, Miami's four or five hundred true fans were laughing at
the FSU "next years", they didn't realize that the rematch would
occur on the first day of "next year".  Early September would seem
to be more than soon enough for Larry Coker and his suddenly
puzzling Hurricanes, who have little to gain in this contest.
Winners the first time around, they now face a Seminole squad that,
for once, stuck together after the close loss to Miami, almost
accidently winning the ACC in the process.  Procrastination isn't
always a bad thing, but in Miami's case, there's no time like the
present.  Although FSU got pushed all over the field in Tallahassee,
there has been a tendency for `Nole fans to blame the weather and
the game plan. The rain and Jeff Bowden's brain didn't help things
in October, but the Canes' secondary and defensive lines were major
factors, too.  If FSU doesn't find a way to run for a few yards, a
dry field may only make things worse in south Florida.  Hopefully,
there won't be two losses to the Hurricanes for FSU in 2004.  But,
I'm afraid that there's gonna be at least one.   THIS one.   Miami
by 7.

The Rose Bowl,
USC vs Michigan
The BCS is a lot of things.  Unfair is perhaps the most accurate
adjective that can describe the present championship formula.  But
unfair and unjust as it may be, the BCS is also shockingly lucky.
Look for the luck to continue in Pasadena as a Trojan squad still
seething over the Sugar Bowl snub fails to deal with Michigan
effectively.  It's a funny thing....if USC had gone to New Orleans,
I'd have probably picked them to win it all.  But, I don't see them
pulling out the consolation game, even in their own backyard.  In an
upset, Michigan by 2.  (...if and when USC proves me wrong, you'll
thank me, Rebel Fred!)

½/2004
The Cotton Bowl,
Mississippi vs Oklahoma State
When I was growing up, I lived in north Texas.  I used to think that
the Cotton Bowl was the bee's knees.  You were something when your
team played in big D on New Year's Day.  Things HAVE changed.  The
proud CB is no longer considered one of the major bowls, and this
year, it's not even being played on New Year's Day.  But one thing
will be the same.  There'll be plenty of honest-to-goodness cowboys
up in the stands looking on.  That should make the Okie State
Cowpokes feel pretty much at home, even in the Lone Star State.  OSU
finally came up with enough cattle to match their Big XII hat, and
it resulted in an almost-big bowl invitation.  But, the Rebs on the
opposite sideline are far from greenhorns.  And if ever anyone
deserved to wear a big white hat because he's such a good guy, it'd
be Eli Manning.  "Eli' Coming" may not be sung around Ole Miss much
longer, but I don't see any way they'll let him saddle up to ride
into the NFL sunset as a loser.  Mississippi's gonna flavor this
barbecue to their liking.  Rebels by 4.

The Peach Bowl,
Tennessee vs Clemson
With the Vols, the Tigers and all the Peach Bowl regalia, this is
going to be one orange football game.  Thank God it's not being
played as the Humanitarian Bowl up on that nauseating blue field in
Boise.  That'd be enough to short-circuit any quality plasma high-
def unit.  Last year, Phil Fulmer's UT squad parlayed their
disappointment with a Peach Bowl bid into a rout loss to Maryland.
This year, UT doesn't arrive in Atlanta any happier, feeling that
they were squeezed out of a trip to the Outback Bowl by their
friends down at Florida.  As for their opponent, Tommy Bowden and
his Clemson Tigers are happy to be IN a bowl as good as the Peach
Classic.  In fact, Tommy's kind of happy to be still employed as a
head coach.  Look for Clemson to mark an "X" on another day of
Tennessee's calender of winter discontent.  For the second
embarassing year in a row, an ACC also-ran runs by the Volunteers.
Clemson by 6.

The Fiesta Bowl,
Kansas State vs Ohio State
The Buckeyes loved their last trip to Tempe, collecting the 2002
national title.  On that date, they outlasted a Miami team that many
considered unbeatable.  It's something that OSU has in common with
their 2004 Fiesta Bowl opponents from K-State.  The Wildcats have a
little streak of "Man of La Mancha" (....to reach the unreachable
star, remember???) flowing their bloodstream, too.  The Cat rout in
Kansas City's Big XII championship game was perhaps a bigger
surprise than last year's Buckeye Bingo against the Hurricanes.  As
for this contest, we have to remember that defense wins big games.
Both States have excellent D's and are stingier than Ebenezer
Scrooge around the old goal-line.  So, that brings us to the other
side of scrimmage.  Ell Roberson and company have offensive hops, as
any Sooner linebacker will tell you.  As for Ohio State, they used
to have Maurice Clarett, right?   The Bucks may have THE best
defense on this field, but you still have to score at least a little
to win.   On Friday, it's going to be too little and too late for
the defending national champs.  K-State adds a little more enjoyment
to their first BCS bowl trip.  Wildcats by 4.

1/3/2004
The Humanitarian Bowl,
Georgia Tech vs Tulsa
My God.  Can you imagine anything more horrible than seeing a bowl
game between Georgia Tech and Tulsa?  What if said game were to be
held in Boise, Idaho?  In early January?  Outdoors?  How about
playing it on a hard and frozen artificial turf field?  What if the
field were an atrocious shade of blue, rather than green?  And what
if, just to be completely ludicrous, they called this travesty
the "Humanitarian Bowl"?  For the players, fans and TV audience, the
only way to make this game any more INhumane would be to play it in
that unfortunate Iranian city that just fell into the earth.  (...a
sick side comment....could "Bam", Iran have a more appropriate
name?)  If the Yellowjacket players will take a cue from their rowdy
roadie fans, they'll get liquored up before the opening whistle.  It
might be the only way to keep their blood from icing over.  Assuming
less than total-icebox conditions, look for "Tulsa Time" to run out
rather quickly on Saturday.  Watch this one long enough to get your
fill of that blue field, and then find a nice NFL Wild Card game to
soothe your agony.  Georgia Tech by 7.

1/4/2004
The Sugar Bowl,
Oklahoma vs LSU
    Ticket to the Nokia Sugar Bowl game, $100.

    Trip to New Orleans for 4 days, ultra-first
      class all the way, $4,000.

    Watching reruns of arrogant Bob Stoopes explaining
      why his Oklahoma Sooners DESERVE to play
      for the national title despite a 28 point
      drubbing in the Big XII title game, priceless.

OK, I admit it.  I'd bought into the idea that OU was invincible,
and that they might be one of the greatest college teams of recent
memory.  It looked like they'd be the second team to do the wire-to-
wire thing for the national title.  Nobody, including me, ever
doubted that Oklahoma deserved to play in the Sugar Bowl.  In fact,
we doubted that anyone else deserved to play THEM.  K State educated
more than OU with their stunning Big XII title win.  They produced
the blueprint on how to deal with the Sooners.  The home-standing
Bayou Bengals of LSU need only master the lessons taught via TV from
Kansas City, and they could claim (at least) a share of the national
championship.  The crowd in the Big Easy will be backing State by at
least a 10:1 ratio.  And, nobody is more emotional than a drunken
bunch of LSU fans.  But returning to reality, let's remember this.
Most of us never believed that OU could ever lose.  Most
importantly, OU didn't believe it, and now they know better.  LSU
may learn lessons from K-State, but that doesn't mean Stoopes and
company are uneducable.  Maybe Jason White and company should send
flowers to Bill Snyder and the Wildcats when this one's over.  It
wasn't the path that the Okies would have chosen, but they'll
approve of the destination.  Wearing a crown that will be less
tarnished with the passing of following years, New Orleans hosts
another coronation for the Sooners.  Oklahoma by 6.

OK everyone, that's it for this year.  I'll try to send out a final
recap (or should I say reCRAP?) of the season record in a week or
two.  Your addresses will remain on my list and you'll find yourself
pursued relentlessly by me again in 2004, starting next June or so.
IF you change email addresses, please go to the prophet yahoo site
(groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks) and update.

You can also email me directly at prophetfootball@....
Thanks for reading and supporting the Prophet this year.  Take care
of yourselves in this darkness we refer to as the "off-season".

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=============================================================
Well folks, this second batch of bowl choices is being sent out on
Christmas Eve.  And in a true miracle of the season, I have yet to
miss a bowl game.  However, as I put the finishing touches on this
second round of picks, the New Mexico Lobos are falling further and
further behind in the Las Vegas Bowl.   I guess I knew that my
success couldn't possibly continue.  But seeing as it's the holiday
season, can't I continue to wish upon a gridiron star??

OK, here are my picks through New Year's Eve....

12/25
The Hawaii Bowl,
Houston vs Hawaii
Have you noticed how little work is being put into naming the more
recent bowl games?  It's become pretty much the plan to just name it
after the city or state, e.g.  "The Fort Worth Bowl"  "The New
Orleans Bowl", etc.  In a beautiful state such as Hawaii, you'd
think someone would be a bit more creative.  There are volcanoes,
flowers and tropical fruits after which this Christmas classic
could've been named?   Who wouldn't want to attend the "Passion
Fruit Bowl"?   One could only imagine the half-time show.  Then
again, in the case of THIS game, maybe the moniker "Hawaii Bowl" is
more of a truth-in-advertising thing.  The major focus of the bowl
DOES appear to be in providing a holiday home for the UH (formerly
Rainbow) Warriors.  Let's just hope NBC doesn't get any ideas to
hold an annual "Notre Dame Bowl" for whenever the Irish don't
qualify for some other game.  As for picking this hometown luau,
let's just assume that the Houston Cougars will view a trip to
Hawaii during Christmas first as a vacation and second as a job.
It's that old trap of Hawaii nailing mainlanders in paradise during
the holidays.  It works for travel agents and island merchants.
There's no reason to see it be any less effective for football
teams.  Hawaii by 7.

The Motor City Bowl,
Bowling Green vs Northwestern
If you want any evidence that there are too many college bowl games,
just realize that Northwestern is playing in one.  Now, I'm really
not here to diss the Wildcats, I'm sure they're fine guys and they
played a few good games in 2003.  But in all honesty, they're as out
of place in the post-season as a cheeseburger at Benihana's.  As for
their opponents, the Falcons of Bowling Green State University, the
opposite is true.  As members of the giant-killing MAC, the birds
earned another sixty minutes to show off for America.  Many feel
that the Mid-America conference deserved a third bowl participant
this year, and I might just agree.  When the sixth or seventh place
team in the Big Ten gets an invitation, you'd have to suspect that
the post-season could use a little more MAC, too.  Making the most
of their conference's two invites, look for BG to make it 2-0 for
the MAC.  Falcons by 8.

The Insight Bowl,
Virginia Tech vs California
Sure, the Hokies had to travel 3,000 miles to play in their post-
season bowl.  But, is there any better location for Frank
Beamer's "on and off the Beam" Turkeys than the "Insight" Bowl?  The
nation probably could use some insight as to how a team that seemed
to have a better than average shot at the Sugar Bowl back in October
can end up playing in California on Christmas Day.  And as for
insight on the other sideline, let's try one more time to explain
how the Golden Bears managed to beat mighty USC.  No real reason as
to why, but I think this little Christmas barn dance might be Tech's
opportunity to introduce the nation to Michael Vick's little bro,
and to showcase some of the trouble he's capable of causing.  Hokies
by 3.

12/27
The Continental Tire Bowl,
Virginia vs Pittsburgh
OK, I'll let all the other comedy prognosticators make the jokes
about hoping the "Tire" bowl isn't a blowout.  Too easy.  I'd prefer
to discuss warranties, with regard to the radial angle.  Two things
can lead to tire failure, as any pressure-gauge jockey will tell
you.  There's the unexpected road hazard, AND there's wear and
tear.  The Panthers of good old PU didn't have any problems with
road hazards in 2003, as all of their losses appear to have occurred
in the Steel City.  So, out on the road in the Carolinas shouldn't,
in itself, prove any undue stress.  But, let's check out that wear
and tear groove....  If you want to preserve your tires, everyone
knows that it's advisable to rotate tires periodically.  College
offensive gameplan should follow a similar strategy.  The key to
having a really "Goodyear" is to rotate your play-calling.
Something tells me that Pitt has been running hard on their best
tread, one Mr. Larry Fitzgerald, for most of the season.  Unless
Pitt can steer in another effective direction, at least for a lap or
two, their race in Charlotte should be over before it gets
started.   Believe me, if ANYONE knows how to scatter defensive
nails in the right place, it's Al Groh of Virginia.  Retreading down
the road of one-man-teamsmanship, look for the Panthers to come up
short on this stretch of Tobacco Road.   Virginia by 2.

12/29
The Alamo Bowl,
Nebraska vs Michigan State
Ah, "Remember the Alamo"!  The winner of this San Antonio stroll
will be the club that has the best memory.  In order for Michigan
State to come out on top, the Spartans have to remember the success
of 2003, forgetting such unfortunate instances as the Michigan
game.  There's plenty of offensive talent on the green sideline, and
the indoor Alamo Bowl should guarantee a fast track for the air
game.   Speaking of the air game, Nebraska has best remember to
occasionally throw the football, maybe at least 3-4% of the time.
If the Huskers try that old time Big Red story of run, run, run,
then MSU boss John Williams will have at least 14 or 15 guys on the
line of scrimmage, bent on stopping the rush.  One other little goal
for Nebraska might be to complete a few of these passes, too.  If
Cornhusker Lord can avoid being "God-awful" as a passer, NU might be
1-0 in the post-Solich era.  And speaking of memories and Solich,
Nebraska might also want to remember to hire a head coach.
Recruiting with a coaching vacancy doesn't tend to go really well.
I really wanted to call this one for Big Red, but then ::I::
remembered everything that appears to be wrong in and around Lincoln
these days.  It hasn't been a happy pigskin holiday season on the
plains, and it won't be any better in Bexar County, Texas.  MSU by 3.

12/30
The Houston Bowl,
Texas Tech vs Navy
Here we go with another bowl game named simply after the host city.
However, unlike the Hawaii Bowl, this game doesn't appear to exist
to provide a holiday home for the hometown Houston Cougars, who had
the good sense to visit Oahu for Christmas.  Speaking of the
islands, wouldn't you figure Navy to be a better fit for the Hawaii
Bowl than Houston?  Talk about guaranteeing a crowd with all the
sailors in the Honolulu area.  Oh well, back on task...please
forgive me for preferring to talk about Hawaii over Houston.  This
game is a classic contest of "the run versus the pass".  The
Midshipmen had an excellent ground game in 2003, running away with
the Commander-in-Chief's trophy.  And if passing is your game, who
could forget this year's Texas Tech vs Mississippi game, in which
Raider QB Symons slung forth with 600 plus yards passing?  As for
the pick, it's important to remember one simple fact.   A good
running team can score points in buckets WHILE controlling the
clock.   But, a team with the passing firepower of Texas Tech scores
points in barrels, simultaneously blowing up both the scoreboard and
clock.  Navy had better get ahead and stay there.  It says here that
they'll not do so.   Texas Tech by 10.

The Holiday Bowl,
Texas vs Washington State
Lost in the long list of teams screwed over by the BCS are the Texas
Longhorns.  I don't suppose it was the BCS itself that hosed UT, but
rather the K-State upset of Oklahoma.  One minute, Mack Brown and
company are lazing in Austin, trying to decide if they'd prefer the
Fiesta or the Rose Bowl for their New Year's pleasure.  THEN, OU
goes down, taking Texas with them.  Come to think of it, Oklahoma
finds a way to "do" Texas, win or lose!  A lot of people expect this
Holiday Bowl to be highly entertaining, with lots of offensive
explosiveness.  That might actually happen, too.  The Longhorns and
Wazoo Cougars are far more comfortable on the offensive side of
scrimmage.  And historically, the Holiday Bowl has produced its
share of scoreboard eruptions.  Then again, any bowl that spent its
first few years hosting BYU in their heyday wasn't destined to set
any defensive records.   Speaking of destiny, it's becoming the
modus operandi for Texas to always be on the outside looking in,
with regard to the BCS.  Texas has only played in one "BCS" bowl
game since the demise of the Southwest Conference.  Does anyone
suppose that Texas fans have noticed?  Here's hoping that Mack
enjoys this holiday.  His mad cows had best make this a holiday to
forget for Washington State.  Otherwise, ol' Saint Nick may have to
visit the Brown household somewhere OTHER than Austin come next
December.  Texas by 6.

The Silicon Valley Classic,
UCLA vs Fresno State
The Bulldogs of FSU-West have been fighting a long battle for
recognition out west.  Home contests against Pac Ten opponents have
been rare occurrences, especially since FSU keeps embarassing the
big boys.  The Silicon Valley Classic offers another chance to lure
some Pac Ten golden boys into the valley for an ambush.  Glad to
accept ANY bowl invitation, the UCLA Bruins are choosing to ignore
the obvious trap being set in Fresno.  But unlike some other recent
Fresno-big boy encounters, it might be the Bulldogs who've bitten
off more than they could chew in this one.  In this salute to the
Silicon chip industry, look for UCLA to transistorize Fresno State
with superior size, speed and depth.  Coaching will only keep it
close for a while.  UCLA by 7.

12/31
The Music City Bowl,
Auburn vs Wisconsin
After all the internecine chicanery involved with Auburn Coach Tommy
Tuberville's contract situation, it seems almost cruel to see him
again "facing the music" in 2003.  But, this could be a less morose
tune, as the music in question is simply the "Music City Bowl", in
Nashville, Tennessee.  I don't know if Barry Alvarez and his
Wisconsin Badgers can carry a tune, but they can sure carry a
football.  "W" has a solid running game, and can more than decide a
football game with ball control.  However, the Badgers CAN be a
little one dimensional at times.  Auburn, of course, suffers from
the same malady....only more so.  In this clash of two ground
armies, WHOMEVER gets behind will probably stay behind.  So, if
you're having trouble deciding WHICH game(s) to stick with on New
Year's Eve, remember this.....if either of these two teams gets more
than 7 points in front in Nashville, this tune is done.  Look for
the Auburn barn dance to trump the Wisconsin polka as Tuberville
conducts his Tigers to a 10 point win.

The Sun Bowl,
Oregon vs Minnesota
El Paso's long-running Sun Bowl hosts two of America's most
interestingly-nicknamed college teams.  West Texas marks the place
for confrontation between Oregon's Ducks and Minnesota's Golden
Gophers.  The Yankee rats may be most at home in an underground
environment.  But, with the mid-to-late season collapse in Eugene,
the Dux might want to move below the surface as well.  For those of
you who've lost touch with Oregon since their early-season upset of
Michigan, you might want to tune in to see exactly HOW ugly those
legendary uniforms are.  (...speaking of another reason to live
underground)  Look for the Big Ten Gophers to dig up a few more
nuggets of gold on this prospecting trip in old El Paso.  Ordering
up a round of Duck Burritos, call this one Minnesota by 3.


The Liberty Bowl,
Southern Mississippi vs Utah
It's appropriate that Southern Mississippi stumbled into the LIBERTY
Bowl to end this season.  A few weeks ago, the Eagles' monumental
win over TCU "freed" the BCS and college football from the specter
of great controversy that might have occurred with regard to the
championship game.  (I'm glad that any possibility of a split or
disputed title is now gone, aren't you??)  Anyway, in this
encounter, Urban Meyer's tribe of Utah Utes have traveled a long
trail to Memphis, in search of Eagle feathers to finish up their
2003 war bonnets.  But, something tells me that the Mississippi
birds aren't going to be in any kind of giving mood in this
contest.  Patrick Henry once said "give me Liberty or give me
death".  On Wednesday night, USM gets Liberty and Utah gets death.
And, I get to put away the Patrick Henry jokes until next year's
Liberty Bowl.  Southern Miss by 9.

The Independence Bowl,
Arkansas vs Missouri
Both Arkansas and Missouri have experienced reasonably good 2003
seasons.  Both had an opportunity to defeat the contestants that
will be facing off in the Sugar Bowl.  But alas, the Tigers and
Razorbacks were routed by LSU and Oklahoma.   And, that's why they
find themselves playing without a roof in Louisiana during the
holiday season.  Speaking of roofs, I don't see this game as the
sort that could blow off a ceiling.  But then again, it just might
be competitive.  And, after some of the earlier bowl games, that's
saying something.  This is also the first trip to a post-season
contest for Mizzou in quite a few years.  Look for Tiger QB Brad
Smith to exhibit his skills to a few more college fans via ESPN's
national broadcast.  I see the cats slopping the Ozark Hogs,
although it's gonna be close.   Missouri by 1.

The San Francisco Bowl,
Boston College vs Colorado State
You'd think that any bowl committee representing so insignificant a
contest as the "San Francisco Bowl" would do their best to (at
least) find a team from Pacific time zone as one of their
contestants.  With all the weird and interesting things to do in the
Bay Area on New Year's Eve, it's only the hardest of hard core
college fan who'll find their way to a match between Colorado State
and Boston College.  Now, I believe that BC is probably happy to be
making this trip.   It's colder than hell back in Beantown, and the
parties are bound to be much wilder out west.   CSU, on the other
hand, is more likely concerned with the ski parties they're missing
back in Fort Collins.  Seeing as how I believe the Eagles are
the "Minnie Pearls" in this game (note to non-southerners....Minnie
Pearl used to always say "I'm just so proud to BE here!"), I see
them leaving their hearts in Frisco with a nice little win.  As for
the Rams, I still believe their hearts are back in the Rockies.  BC
by 6.

OK, in a few days I'll be back with the 2004 bowl game picks.
Everyone have a great Christmas/Holiday season and stay safe.

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  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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=============================================================

OK, it's time to get started on the Prophet's annual bowl
predictions.  I'm hoping that THIS year I can avoid my (what's
becoming annual) December tank job.  Let's start out with some of the
smaller bowls.  My picks for games being played up through Wednesday,
December 24, are as follows....

12/16
The New Orleans Bowl,
North Texas vs Memphis
This is North Texas' third consecutive trip to the New Orleans Bowl.
The Mean Green have made a habit of winning the Sun Belt Conference
championship, you know.  And although James Coburn used to always say
something about confidence being sexy, I kind of think the Texans may
be getting a little too big for their britches.   I read in today's
paper where one Mean Green player, when asked about the fact that
their opponent Memphis was playing in their first bowl game in thirty
plus years, indicated that it would be to North Texas' advantage.  He
was quoted as saying "they don't know how to prepare for a bowl
game", among some other drivel.  OK, Memphis hasn't been a regular on
the bowl scene.  But if it weren't for the lowly New Orleans Bowl,
then mighty North Texas wouldn't have been dusting off any suitcases
in December, either.  Let's just say that I believe this game's going
to be worth the Tigers' long wait.  If these guys can beat Eli
Manning and Ole Miss, they can handle the Mean Green.  Memphis by 7.

12/18
The GMAC Bowl,
Miami(OH) vs Louisville
This year's GMAC Bowl will definitely decide who is/are the biggest
and baddest red birds playing football in Mobile, Alabama this
Thursday.  The Mid-America Red Hawks of Miami, Ohio fly south to do
battle with the Conference USA Cardinals from Louisville, Kentucky.
Many people feel that this will be one of the best post-season games
of the year, given both clubs' propensity for scoring points.  I
couldn't agree more, and am looking forward to this clash.  Two
factors are going to decide who rules the south Alabama roost.
First, which birds are going to play defense, or perhaps more
correctly, play SOME defense?  Offensive firepower the likes of that
shown by both clubs almost guarantee that some defensive squad will
end up with egg on their collective faces.  There may be enough egg
for BOTH defensive squads.  And lastly, ANY contest between birds has
to emphasize a strong air game.  Something tells me that Miami
(OH)'s "John R" has the passing stats to wing the Red Hawks into the
end zone at least once or twice more often than the southern seed-
eaters.   So, look for the northern birds of prey to "prey" on some
southern cookin' in Mobile this Thursday.   In a high-scoring
contest, call it Miami by 9.

12/22
The Tangerine Bowl,
NC State vs Kansas
It was only three years ago that Jayhawk Coach Mangino and Wolfpack
Boss Amato stared across the field at each other in another Florida
bowl game.   At the time, Mangino was the offensive coordinator for
the Oklahoma Sooners and Amato coached the Florida State linebackers,
and they were playing for the national title in the Orange Bowl.
Since then, both men have gone on to smaller and better things,
acquiring division-1 head coaching positions.  Both NC State and
Kansas both somewhat stumbled into their bowl invitations, losing
some key games at season's end.  The Wolfpack were eliminated from
BCS contention in overtime, whereas Kansas was blown out by (at the
time) mildly-regarded Kansas State.  Time has since shown that losing
big to K-State ain't no hangin' matter, as Bob Stoops would suggest.
However on Monday in Orlando, the Fighting Manginos from Larry will
have the same problem they had back on a Saturday in Manhattan...the
other guy'll just have too much firepower.   Orlando may host
the "happiest (or sappiest??) place on earth".  But, there won't be a
lot of joy on the KU side of the field.  NC State by 14.

12/23
The Fort Worth Bowl,
Boise State vs TCU
The Horned Frogs had hoped to crash the BCS, but were unable to win a
big November game at Southern Mississippi.  This seemingly relegated
the Texans to playing in Mobile, Alabama's GMAC Bowl.  At this point,
TCU made some statement about "having a conflict with exams" or
something and declined the call to Alabama, preferring to play at
home in the newly-coined Fort Worth Bowl.  Cynics suggested that the
Horned Frogs were shedding crocodile tears about the exam conflict,
and were actually dodging potentially dangerous embarrassment at the
hands of Miami(OH).  I don't know exactly why TCU did things their
way.  Playing at home isn't exactly a special treat for the
holidays.  But then again, I don't know any travel agents getting
rich pitching holiday junkets to Mobile.  I will say this,
however...  IF the Frogs were dodging Miami, they could have found a
safer substitute than the Broncos of Boise State.  These Idaho
horsies are going to be a rough ride for TCU.  Switching rodeo
analogies, I'll guess that the home crowd might be surprised who gets
roped and branded in this one.  Boise State by 10.

12/24
The Las Vegas Bowl,
New Mexico vs Oregon State
The Beavers failed miserably.  They already had their bowl bid in
hand when they last played.  ALL they had to do was show up and lose
to USC in such a fashion as to guarantee the Trojans' inclusion in
the BCS title game, which would have been a first for the Pac Ten.
But somehow, Oregon State couldn't get it done for their conference.
Sure, they lost, but.... well we all know what happened after that.
For this trip to Vegas, New Mexico fans have another assignment for
the Corvallis rats.  The Lobos want Oregon State to be a big enough
name to gather a little national recognition for the University of
New Mexico.  The plan is, of course, for the Lobos to actually beat
Oregon State, teaching America that there are teams in the Mountain
West other than Colorado State, Air Force and BYU.  Look for Oregon
State to again supply the prescribed loss on Christmas Eve.  But like
USC before them, New Mexico may not find the win as satisfying as was
hoped.  Lobos by 3.

OK folks, that covers us through Christmas Eve.  Have a nice holiday
season, lay off the heavy egg nog and keep your hands off your
neighbors' sugar plums.   See you soon with some later bowl picks!

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  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 11/29/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 481
GAMES CORRECT 359
PCT CORRECT 74.6%
=============================================================
Last weekend's rivalry contests were good to the Prophet, perhaps as
a little Thanksgiving bonus from the Football Gods.  I went 16 for
20 on the big weekend, which is always nice this late in the
season.  OK, let's wind up the regular slate of contests, as well as
a few championship games with this final, pre-bowls issue of the
Prophet.

Thursday, December 4, 2003
The Mid-America Conference Championship Game
Miami(OH) at Bowling Green
Remember how everyone was all fired up about Northern Illinois
perhaps crashing the BCS?  What were we going to do when the Huskies
went undefeated?  Well, things just have a way of working themselves
out, don't they?  Northern Illinois will spend Thursday night
watching the MAC championship game on TV, like the rest of us.  :)
Speaking of BCS crashers, they've come and gone this year.  Northern
Illinois, TCU....all pretenders.  A lot of people say that the Red
Hawks of Miami are the best non-BCS team in the land.  Now having
watched a few Boise State games, I'd disagree.   But there's no
denying that Miami(OH) is a mighty fine football team.   This
championship game will determine two things.  First, it'll decide
who gets the MAC championship, and the accompanying trip to the GMAC
Bowl in Detroit.  And more importantly to the fans in Miami and
Bowling Green, it'll prove who is the best MAC team in the state of
Ohio.  In this battle of non-BCS birds, I see the Red Hawks ruling
the skies, even on the road in Falcon territory.  Miami(OH) by 5.

Saturday, December 6, 2003
Notre Dame at Syracuse
OK, I fell into my own trap.  One of the few games I missed last
weekend was the Orangemen's loss to Rutgers.  I did, however, make a
big point of saying how I couldn't understand how Lee Corso (or
anyone, for that matter) could think SU was anything approaching a
good football team.  I suppose I didn't realize how right I really
was.  SU is a mediocre lot, stumbling aimlessly towards bad.  On top
of that, I believe that they've rung up the big "Q", as in "quit"
for the season.  So, I suppose that I'll "quit" beating this dead
Orange horse and just say that I see another win for Ty Willingham's
Fighting Irish.  Last Saturday night, Notre Dame looked like they
still wanted to play a little football this year.  Look for Syracuse
to play big orange punching bag for Ty's Irish lightweights on
Saturday.   Let's call this one Notre Dame by 10.

Boise State at Hawaii
June Jones' Warriors rang up a big-name win last Saturday, drowning
the Alabama Crimson Tide in the Oahu surf.  Mind you, I said that it
was a big NAME rather than a big GAME win.  Alabama has proven on at
least nine occasions this year that they're far removed from the
days of the Bear.  So, Hawaii had best remember that they were
fortunate to have scheduled that game during "low tide", so to
speak.  THIS week, the BSU Broncos from potato territory gallop onto
the islands.  And, these guys are horses of an entirely different
color.  (Not to mention their horrendous blue football field back
home in Boise)  As Hawaii's timing goes from good to bad, look for
the Idaho herd to go on stampede in Honolulu.   Boise State by 12.

Army vs Navy
This has been an excellent year for football at the Naval Academy.
The Midshipmen are actually going bowling this holiday season, and
are hoping to claim the "Commander in Chief" trophy in this game.
Considering that the West Pointers have been pointing in the wrong
direction for most of 2003, I see no reason to believe their
gridiron retreat will halt on Saturday.  It might, in fact, be time
to get out the old white flag.   Navy by 14.

Oregon State at USC
The path to New Orleans seems clear for the Men of Troy.  They need
only dispatch their pals from Oregon State, and the chance at the
brass ring is probably theirs.  Now, this isn't any second rate
skanky Beaver battalion that Pete Carroll's Trojans are looking to
bang on Saturday.  But, considering what's at stake, I see no reason
to doubt that SC will find a way to snatch one more conference "W"
to cement that holiday hookup on Bourbon Street.  Trojans by 12.

The SEC Championship Game in Atlanta, Georgia
LSU vs Georgia
This, to my knowledge, is the first time in the long history of the
SECCG that a rematch has actually occurred.   Earlier in the season,
Georgia lost to the Bayou Bengals, partially due to an inability to
kick field goals.  One would believe that a sharp fellow like
Bulldog coach Mark Richt would have learned enough in the ensuing
weeks to insure revenge in Saturday's championship contest.   But
when it comes to learning, the determining factor in what happens in
Hotlanta Saturday involves LSU's education.  The Tigers have now
learned, or are slowly realizing, that the numbers are not going to
add up in such a way that would allow them to play in the Sugar
Bowl.  But, that's not going to stop LSU from hashing and
recalculating all angles of this cryptic BCS business.  But while
the Tigers are punching buttons on their calculators, look for the
Dawgs to be punching THEIR ticket into the BCS with an upset
championship game win.  Getting even while helping to clear the
title game murkiness, call this one Georgia by 2.

The Big XII Championship Game in Kansas City, Missouri
Kansas State vs Oklahoma
Oklahoma has been so impressive this year that most people agree
that the Sooners will still find their way to New Orleans EVEN if
they were to somehow lose this championship game.  I guess
mathematically it adds up, but I see no reason to re-examine any BCS
numbers.  Kansas State started the season with a great deal of
optimism, thinking perhaps that THEY could taste some Louisiana
sugar in January.  Due to injuries, things haven't quite gone as
well as was hoped for Bill Snyder's Cats.  However, they're now
playing their best football of the season, and find themselves
representing the northern division of the Big XII in this huge
game.  There's nothing to suggest that K State can't "play" with
Oklahoma except for this.....OU isn't playing around.  Bob Stoops is
as serious a big game coach as you'll ever find.  I fully expect the
Wildcats to show up and play a fine football game.  Unfortunately
for State, I see the Sooners bringing their "A" game to the dance,
too.  Oklahoma by 10.

OK, that does it for the regular season.  I'll probably have some
picks out on the lesser bowls in a week or so.  Until then, have a
great holiday season.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 11/22/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 461
GAMES CORRECT 343
PCT CORRECT 74.4%
=============================================================

First of all, let me wish all of my loyal readers the happiest and
most bountiful of Thanksgivings.  We all have so much to be thankful
for.  I, personally, would be thankful for a few more wins, but no
need to be greedy on such a special holiday!  Now on to our picks...

Thursday (Thanksgiving Day), November 27, 2003
Mississippi at Mississippi State
This annual contest is dubbed "The Egg Bowl" down in the Magnolia
State.  And for Ole Miss, the egg analogy might just fit.  "Humpty
Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.  All the
King's horses and all the King's men, couldn't put Humpty Dumpty
back together again."  The Rebels controlled their destiny, and had
only to defeat LSU last Saturday to guarantee a trip the SECCG in
Atlanta.  But what many (including Prophet) had predicted on
numerous occasions finally occurred, as Ole Miss collected that
first conference loss of 2003.  Funny thing, though....I gained more
respect for 2003 Rebel football in last weekend's defeat than in a
month's worth of (sometimes lucky) wins.  This team has fight.  They
play hard and they've learned that defense matters, too.  It's a
shame that they've fallen off the old SEC West championship wall,
though.  As for anyone "putting things back together again", I'm sad
to report that Cutcliffe and company will find neither Kings, horses
or men in Starkville on Thursday night.  But, there ARE a bunch of
pigs up in Arkansas that might still play a role in putting Dumpty
back together in time for Atlanta.  We'll just have to see what
happens in the LSU-Arkansas contest.  As for this Egg Bowl, look for
Eli Manning to cut up the Bulldog defense like a sharp knife goin'
through rotten egg salad.  Rebels by 16.

Friday, November 28, 2003
Nebraska at Colorado
The Big XII just can't seem to figure out the right combo for their
big "end of the season" game.   For years, it was Nebraska playing
Oklahoma.  Then, the Sooners fell on hard times and Colorado became
a national power.  The conference schedule-makers started the slow
process of change that would result in an annual big finish
featuring the Huskers and Buffs.  But by the time it became an
annual event, both Colorado and Nebraska slid into national power
history mode, leaving us all watching a Friday fight for second
place.  Then again, I guess none of this means anything now that the
conference has a championship game.  So, to see which coach (Solich
or Barnette) gets another loss in an already disappointing season,
don't miss this match.  But to see who's going to the BCS, tune in
next Saturday.  Colorado by 2.

Arizona at Arizona State
Things are always pretty dry in Arizona, but from a football
standpoint, 2003 has been one big drought.  The Tucson Mildcats have
already canned one coach, and are looking to shed their interim
keeper upon completion of this game.  Rumor has it that Oklahoma
defensive coordinator Mike Stoopes is set to run the cat house at
Arizona starting immediately after the Big XII title game.
Something tells me that anyone ELSE at OU looking to move into the
head coaching ranks might be well served to ship a few resumes over
to Arizona State as well....there might just be another D-1 job
opening up in the ol' Grand Canyon State.  As for this weekend's
battle of desert have-nots, look for the hometown Devils to squeeze
a few more drops of football success from this end of the 2003
season.  Arizona State by 4.

Texas at Texas A&M
The Aggies and Longhorns have a lot in common this year.  First,
neither one of them is getting anywhere near the Big XII
championship game next weekend.  And, both suffered biblical defeats
at the hands of the uncrowned 2003 national champion OU Sooners.
Way back when Oklahoma kicked the crap out of Texas in the Red River
shootout, I bet Mack Brown and company never figured there was SOME
good news.   The good news turns out to be that Oklahoma beat the
Aggies even worse.  But, that's easy to understand as A&M had a lot
more crap for the Sooners to kick out of them.  And, it might be
hard to believe that Oklahoma left anything for Texas to kick in
this game, but they did.  Kicking out what little crap's left in
Dennis Frangione's Aggies, call this one Horns by 14.

Arkansas at LSU
As you read in my Egg Bowl write-up, Ole Miss isn't completely done
in the race for the SEC West crown.  If Arkansas can just upset the
Bayou Bengals, Eli Manning and company can take their Rebel guns to
Atlanta for a shot at the BCS.  Sadly for the boys up at Oxford,
they're about to make the same mistake that Prophet has made on
numerous occasions this year, namely counting on Arkansas.  Look for
LSU to hog the glory at home in Baton Rouge, with the Tigers
collecting a solid 10 point win.

Saturday, November 29, 2003
Syracuse at Rutgers
I think Lee Corso is getting Alzheimer's or something.  Did you see
him going on and on about how he thought Syracuse was going to upset
West Virginia last Saturday??  I know Lee goes to lots of football
games.  Does he actually WATCH any of them?  What had Syracuse done
in the last six or seven weeks to make any rational person feel so
strongly about their chances of pulling an upset against one of the
hottest teams in the country?  Yo.  I'll tell you how weak ::I:: am
on the Orangemen.  I'm picking them to defeat mighty Rutgers this
weekend, but I think it'll be close.  And, since it's on the road
and it might be "in weather", I'll fess up.....I'm scared.  In one
of my shakiest picks of the weeks, I'll show a slight crumb of faith
in the mighty Orangemen.  Syracuse by 1.

Temple at West Virginia
The Temple Owls keep catching the Big East powers at the right
time.  Right after Miami, Virginia Tech or Pittsburgh has a huge
game, they line up against lowly Temple.  And the resulting let-
downs have produced some much closer than expected contests.   The
same situation exists for this weekend, as Rich Rodriguez's
Hillbillies are coming off a big backyard massacre of the Pittsburgh
Panthers, followed by a road win over mighty <vbg> Syracuse.  It
would seem that Temple is destined to get less than West
Virginia's "A" effort.   But, as logical as that all seems, I don't
see any problems occurring for the Morganton folk.  Whatever is
driving WVU's recent "high" doesn't appear to wear off readily, and
I believe Temple's just in line for another old fashioned mountain
ass-whuppin'.  As for whoever's distilling out the fine "whup ass"
that Rodriguez and crew have been drinking....let's just say that
the athletic department needs to put them on the payroll.
Mountaineers by 21.

Alabama at Hawaii
Sure, Alabama's on probation and they've had a crummy season.  Then
again, I know a lot of teams headed off to nothing bowl games who'd
gladly switch positions with the Crimson Tide for this weekend.
Think about it..  What would you rather do?  Practice all through
the holidays and then go to the Humanitarian Bowl in Boise, where
it'll be about 3 degrees with a wind chill factor of minus 20....so
cold, in fact, that the football field will be blue. <g>   Or, you
could just finish up your regular season with a leisurely jaunt to
Hawaii, play a little football, do a little surfin', have a little
luau, etc.  Kind of makes going 4-8 sound like something good,
doesn't it?  Make that 5-8, folks.  Finishing off 2003 with a win in
paradise, call it Tide by 9.

Notre Dame at Stanford
A few years ago, the South Bend faithful were highly offended and
outraged when the audacious Stanford band appeared at Notre Dame
stadium with their drum major dressed as a priest.  He even directed
the band with a cross!   However, it's not that long-ago sacrilege
that's really stirred up the folks in Indiana.  The fact is, the
Irish fans are more upset with the COACH they got from Stanford.
<g>  Look for Notre Dame to return to truly Irish football on this
trip west, as Ty Willingham abandons the west coast offense where he
first found it.  In a road upset, Notre Dame sticks with the ground
game, winning a close one.   Call it by 2.

Iowa State at Missouri
Every time ESPN updated last weekend's Missouri-Kansas State game,
they sounded so apologetic as they chronicled the Tigers'
trouncing.  The network announcers kept reassuring us that Missouri
would still get to wind up their season next weekend against Iowa
State, as if EVERY team deserved to win their last game.  That's not
true, as we all know.  It's sure as hell not true for the Cyclones
Saturday in Columbia.  Getting that last win that they so
desperately deserve <g>, call this one Mizzou by 7.

Maryland at Wake Forest
It's appropriate the Terps finish their season at the Wake Forest
sanctuary of Reverend Jim Grobe.  You see, Ralph Friedgen and
company were the beneficiaries of an answered prayer last weekend,
when T. A. MacLendon of NC State conveniently and (it's becoming)
predictably fumbled at midfield late in a tied football game.  Some
teams will do anything to avoid overtime.  <g>  Now, if any team
should understand the power of prayer, it ought to be a bunch of
Demon Deacons.  But since early September, the prayers from Winston-
Salem have pretty much gone unanswered.  It definitely seems like
time for a revival at Wake Forest, but I don't see one planned in
time for anyone to get saved on Saturday.  Maryland gets another ACC
prayer answered, resulting in a nice little holiday trip somewhere.
Turtles by 12.

Tennessee at Kentucky
In the springtime, Kentucky hosts "The Run for the Roses" at the
Kentucky Derby.  Every other fall, I like to say that the
Commonwealth is home to the "Run for the Hoses", as fans of these
two prime whiskey-producing states hook up.  The local and distant
distilleries will get a work-out, before, during and after this
contest.  But come game's end, the UT fans will be drinking in
celebration, while the Wildcat crew drinks to forget.  Call this one
an unforgettable 14 point Volunteer win.

Southern Mississippi at East Carolina
Considering what a rotten season that ECU has had, I'd expect very
little in the way of crowd or excitement for this closing contest.
However, the Eagles of USM might find a little something extra in
their Christmas stockings this year, courtesy of the BCS.  After the
great service done by Southern Miss for major conference football
last Thursday night (the thrashing of BCS wannabe TCU), I'd expect a
big truckload of unmarked bills to find their way to Hattiesburg
just in time for the shopping season.  In this game, look for USM to
ring ECU's Christmas bells early.  Eagles by 17.

South Florida at Memphis
The USF Bulls stampede into Memphis, looking to close out their CUSA
season.  Now generally, when folks in this river town have a
barbecue, they're roasting piggies.  But with so much prime beef
just there for the takin', they'll alter the menu a bit on
Saturday.  Look for the Tigers to teach the coastal kids a few
verses of Memphis blues on Saturday as they "steak" their claim to a
closing conference win.  Tigers by 10.

TCU at SMU
Before last Thursday night's game, people looked at the TCU-SMU
contest and declared it a wash.  They said that there was NO WAY
that the Mustangs, arguably the worst team in Division 1 football,
could ruin the Horned Frogs' perfect season.  As it turns out, they
won't have to, as Southern Miss already did the honors last week in
Hattiesburg.  It's amazing how much different a "perfect" season is
from a "near-perfect" one, when you're not in a BCS conference.
Now the college football world can return to more important matters,
and can forget fretting about SMU's inability to beat TCU.  As for
the game, everyone's right.  The Frogs will saddle up for a nice and
easy ride in Big D on Saturday.  About the only thing SMU has in
common with TCU's recent conquerors are initials.  (SMU and USM)   A
big, big eleventh win that's a week too late nets Texas Christian a
not-so-big holiday bowl trip.  Frogs by 21.

Georgia at Georgia Tech
It's a good thing that the SEC added that BCS clause thing into
their SEC East tie breaker formula.  Otherwise, Mark Richt's
Bulldogs might go to Atlanta without a good reason to play
football.  And, we've all seen how prone these pups are to miss the
old newspaper when the game isn't (a) a big, big game or (b) against
Florida.  Speaking of newspapers, I haven't read anything lately
about that long Yellowjacket winning streak that freshman QB Reggie
Ball predicted back in September.  Look for Georgia to do enough
biting to chew up another close win, thereby securing their trip
BACK to Atlanta next weekend for a much bigger contest.   Bulldogs
by 6.

Virginia Tech at Virginia
Something is wrong at Virginia Tech.  Ever since the upset loss to
West Virginia, the Hokies have barely showed up for any football
games, save the crusade against Miami.  I think that there is
dissension and mistrust on this football team.  The only way to pull
them together is to have a hated common enemy that supercedes any
jealousy or bitterness that exists in the locker room.  As for this
weekend's trip to Charlottesville, there's no doubt that Tech
dislikes Virginia.  But, I don't believe they'll be able to hate the
Cavaliers enough to pull together for one more decent effort.  And
unlike the Temple game last weekend, it WILL take some degree of vim
and vigor to defeat Virginia.  Beamer and company might want to re-
address their recent policy of "barely showing up".  Not showing up
might be a better idea here.  Cavaliers by 7.

Miami at Pittsburgh
A lot was made several weeks ago about the Pitt Panthers being the
only team in the Big East that "controlled their destiny".  That was
mighty high cotton for a team that lost to Notre Dame, I'd say.  But
having said so, it WAS true...at least until the annual backyard
brawl against West Virginia.  The Hillbillies, who probably can't
even spell "control", much less "destiny", were able to spell DOOM
for Pittsburgh's big bowl plans.  This weekend's visit from the
hated Hurricanes will only determine exactly how low Pittsburgh and
Miami sink into the Big East's second and third choice bowls.  A
storm has been brewing over the quarterback position at UM and
suddenly Larry Coker is faced with his first serious challenge in
three years as a head coach.  This game also has Heisman
implications for the best receiver in America, Larry Fitzgerald, who
seems able to catch the football without fighting a war at the same
time.  These have truly been rainy days at Miami.  And for this
weekend, the bad news is that it might even snow.  Folks, I got no
real good reason, and I wouldn't mind a bit being wrong.
But....Miami will find a way to win this game ugly, no matter which
QB of the moment is taking snaps.  Walter Payton's boy will be a big
factor in the outcome of this up-north nasty-rama.   Hurricanes by 4.

Fresno State at UTEP
As all of you must know by now, I'm a Florida State University
supporter and grad.  I try not to let my Seminole leanings bleed
heavily into the column, and you KNOW I pick on FSU quite a bit.  As
for this game, I really couldn't think of anything funny to say.
And, I don't think it's much of a contest, really.  But, I wanted to
make sure that one of my FSU win picks comes through this weekend.
FSU (West) by 10.

Florida State at Florida
Ron Zook and his inexperienced but talented Gators have finally
unlocked the magic bottle of football success.  "One should not beat
thyself".  Zook and company have scaled back their offensive plan,
allowing the promising Chris Leak to develop naturally without the
pressure of carrying the entire team.  The Zook mantra is that a
mistake-free Florida is tough to beat.  On the other side of the
line, FSU has taken a few more steps back towards the national
prominence of the late 90's.  The Noles are not yet as feared as
were the clubs of Warrick and Ward, but they've made progress back
towards the ten victory plateau.  Like their counterparts in
Gainesville, the Seminoles "QB Chris" benefits from a simpler game
plan, which is kind of sad considering that Mr. Rix is now a
redshirt junior.  But still, things have improved at Florida State.
Some will say that the Seminoles actually haven't beaten anyone of
note this year, and I'd disagree.  On at least two occasions, they
beat themselves...or more correctly, they helped beat themselves.
The possibility of another self-immolation exists Saturday afternoon
in the swamp.  But, if the Seminoles can minimize Chris Rix' impact
on the game, things just might swing their way.  In a hard-fought
and close contest, look for FSU to finally beat SOMEBODY in 2003.
FSU (East) by 3.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 11/15/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 432
GAMES CORRECT 322
PCT CORRECT 74.5%
=============================================================
Thursday, November 20, 2003
TCU at Southern Mississippi
Thursday night brings us the last and greatest stumbling block to
TCU going undefeated and crashing the BCS.  And, the mere fact that
Southern Miss is ANY team's greatest challenge sums up what is wrong
with the Horned Frogs' desire to ascend the national ladder.  The
other "good" team that USM played at home this year was Nebraska,
and the Cornhuskers clobbered the Eagles.  So this is the bottom
line, Frog fans.  Beating Southern Miss isn't going to impress
enough voters or computers to get you into the Sugar Bowl.  But
lining up in Hattiesburg, instead of Columbus, Baton Rouge, Miami,
Tallahassee, Ann Arbor, Los Angeles or any number of other football
holy places, is one way to increase your chances of NOT getting
booted out of the Fiesta, Rose or Orange Bowl(s).  TCU by (again) 3.

Friday, November 21, 2003
Boise State at Fresno State
As mentioned above, a lot of "non-BCS" clubs have complained that
they receive no national respect.  The "non-BCS" poster boys at TCU
are the club getting the most ink.  Earlier in the year, Northern
Illinois made some noise, too.  But, the outsider club that has most
impressed the Prophet is Boise State.  If ESPN wants me to tune in
on Friday night, they'd switch some opponents around from the
Thursday game.  Let Southern Miss play Fresno State.  Then, we could
see how those boys from Fort Worth would do trying to ride these
wild horses from Idaho.  Boise State by 10.

Saturday, November 22, 2003
Oklahoma State at Baylor
Waylon and Willie used to sing "mommas, don't let your babies grow
up to be Cowboys".  But, they might want to re-do the lyrics for
this weekend's battle in Waco.  Growing up to be a Baylor Bear a
much worse proposition this year, as being a Baylor Bear appears to
be the bottom of the Big XII barrel.   Okie State by 14.

Boston College at Virginia Tech
At this point in the season, you could really use the word "quitter"
to describe both Virginia Tech and Boston College.  Neither club can
now be counted on for an A+ effort on any given Saturday.  However,
whereas Tech has only recently joined the ranks of the
disappointing, BC has been punching (or should I say NOT punching?)
the old "Failure to Measure Up" time-clock since mid-September.
Experience matters, folks.  Tech by 6.

West Virginia at Syracuse
I was going to make some crack about West Virginia taking over the
Big East when all the "city" schools depart for the ACC.  But then I
remembered that Virginia Tech is leaving, too.   Not too many
country club members in Blacksburg, you know.  But in THIS game,
it'll be another golden opportunity for the Morganton Hillbillies to
visit a place with indoor plumbing.  I look for WVU to flush
the `cuse in a western New York minute.   Mountaineers by 14.   And
speaking of "bowls", guess who might be headed to a big one come
January???

Georgia Tech at Virginia
The late-season ACC scramble features two teams led by former NFL
coaches.  Certainly Chan Gailey and Al Groh have seen ups and downs
in their coaching careers, and they know how to keep a team
motivated once championship opportunities have diminished.  Then
again, seeing as how college football has no "wild cards" or
playoffs, Al and Chan might just find themselves out of motivational
bullets.   As for this game, methinks that Virginia still has more
live ammo left, among the blanks, to target a home conference win.
Cavaliers by 6.

Pittsburgh at Temple
Boy, have things gotten screwy in the Big LEast.  Last weekend, the
(just a few weeks ago) dominating Virginia Tech Hokies had a huge
scare thrown into them by Temple.  Temple?  Jeez Marie.  As for
Pittsburgh, they probably scare themselves as much as anything.  You
never really know which team is going to show up.  And if an
opponent can run the football, it's "Katy, bar the door".  The whole
thing kind of makes me afraid to venture a pick.  Franklin Roosevelt
once said that we had nothing to fear but fear itself.   He was
wrong, as I fear being wrong.  Fearfully, I choose Pittsburgh by 10.

Utah at BYU
At first, I thought of writing some sort of humor involving native
Americans raiding the Mormon settler fortress in Provo.  But, in an
attempt to be more politically correct, I decided to PUN on such a
childish opportunity.  Besides, trying to make light of BYU football
in such historical context would be "UTEless".  I'll bet you thought
I'd made a typo when I wrote pun instead of punt above.  Getting a
kick out of playing with your minds, folks.... Utah by 16.

Army at Hawaii
The Cadets might be hoping for some Honolulu support on this LONG
road trip.  It's true that Hawaii hosts a huge contingent of
military personnel.  But, the bad news is that most of them are
Navy, and there's no way they'd root for Army against the local
Rainbow Warriors.  So, look for Army to travel half-way around the
world to get something they could get (and have been getting) in
their own backyard.   Hawaii by 10.

Purdue at Indiana
Losses at Ohio State and Michigan have put Purdue's Rose Bowl hopes
in the proverbial can.  But, that doesn't mean they'll dump an
opportunity to pour it on against Indiana in the annual battle for
the Old Oaken Bucket.  The Boilermakers have had a few
disappointments this year, but they pale (or in this case, should I
say pail??) in comparison to their old oaken basket case chums in
Bloomington.  Bucketing my trend of picking upsets this week, let's
stick with the favorite in this one.   Purdue by 14.

Iowa at Wisconsin
A friend of mine at work, who happens to be FROM Wisconsin, walked
up to me the other day and said, "you missed the Wisconsin game
again, didn't you"?  And of course, she was right.  I always miss
the Wisconsin game.  She then added, "you don't like Wisconsin much,
do you?", to which I replied, "no, I don't".  As for why, I have two
reasons.  First, there's the lack of love shown to the Prophet BY
the Badgers.  They lose when I say they'll win, and they win when I
say they'll lose.  How many kicks into the old cods can one guy
take?  And then there is their football philosophy.  I live in the
south, and I love a high powered passing game.  The Badgers are an
old fashioned, Woody Hayes-type, grind it out team.  There's nothing
wrong with a solid running game.  But, I don't like teams that are
toast when they fall behind more than one score.  If I liked games
that were over at that point, I might reconsider soccer.  It's not a
north-south thing....Auburn annoys me, too.  Same reasons.  I
actually DO like Barry Alvarez.  I met him once many years ago.  HE
was a senior linebacker for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and I was a
sixth grader in Montgomery, Alabama.  I met him on the field after
the 1967 Blue-Gray football game.  I wonder if he remembers.  I
remember that he and his fellow Yankees won that game.  FWIW, I also
met Governor George Wallace that same day.  OK, back to my pick.
Taking my medicine, I'll pick one power team (Wisconsin) over
another power team that seems to have had their plug pulled in
recent weeks.  And now that I've anointed Wisconsin at this week's
winner, Iowa fans, please send your smoked hams and other midwestern
treats to my home address.  If you send them to my job, I'll have to
share them with my co-workers.  Go BADgers.   Wisconsin by 6.

Penn State at Michigan State
I see an upset here, my dear Propheteers.  Why??  Because scruffy
old Joe Paterno won't do what Michigan State apparently (based on
last weekend in Wisconsin) has done this year, namely quit.  The
Spartans are playing for season's end, while the Lions are playing
for a legend.  Penn State by 3.

Northwestern at Illinois
I read in a newspaper where attendance is way up at cultural events
in the state of Illinois.  And, I think I know why...it's all the
former football fans looking for something else to do.  Maybe after
a season of watching the Illinois Frightened Illini, the
Northwestern Mildcats AND the professional (or so they say) Chicago
Bares, I'd be ready to dig some "Swan Lake", too.  I guess you could
say this is the contest to decide who is the worst major college
football team in the state.  It's being played in "Champaign", but
wouldn't expect to hear the clink of any local glasses at game's
end.  It should be the visiting felines from Evanston who pour
bubbly in celebration, I call it Northwestern by 4.

Iowa State at Kansas
With a couple of early wins, the Fighting Manginos of Kansas stirred
up quite a prairie storm.  But, as expectations grew and opponents
became cognizant of KU's move from abysmal to mediocre, the
victories became scarce.  Another chance to record a conference win
might present itself Saturday with the forecasted arrival of a
Cyclone or two from Iowa.  This is the kind of game where anything
could happen, seeing as neither team is headed anywhere in the
postseason.  But, I think the Jayhawks can take whatever winds Iowa
State can muster at this late date, especially in the friendly
confines of Lawrence. (I wonder if people who are REAL familiar with
Lawrence get to call it Larry???   Larry, Kansas does have a real
friendly ring to it.  :)  KU by 3.   (Hey Camster, that "Larry"
shtick was just for you!)

Miami(OH) at Ohio
This contest should cement the Miami Redhawks' status as the second-
best college football team in the state of Ohio.  In fact, if they
were in the Big Ten, they could have claim to being the third best
team in THAT conference.   But for now, they'll have to focus on
Detroit in December rather than Pasadena in January.  Miami(OH) by
30.

Missouri at Kansas State
Bill Snyder may want (soon to be ex) Nebraska Coach Frank Solich on
his K-State staff.   He's sure done everything possible over the
last few seasons to get the F-man fired.  And speaking of other
ulterior motives, Snyder seems to be the only coach in any hurry to
hookup with Oklahoma in the Big XII title game.   All I can say is
that he must be in line for a HUGE bonus for getting into the
championship game.   They'd have to pay me a chunk of change to hop
into a meat grinder with a smile.  State's Saturday punching bags
are the Tigers from Columbia.  These Show-Me state kitties will be
shown a sorry time in Manhattan as they supply the final leg to K-
State's title game odyssey.  Go with the wilder of the cats involved
here, K-State by 12.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee
A huge win at Miami two weekends ago seems to have invigorated the
Tennessee football program.  Perhaps upsetting the hated Canes was
just the "wake up" call needed by Phil Fulmer's Vols.  I see no
return to somnambulance this Saturday either, so long as the big
Orange players can avoid swallowing the sleeping pill that is
Vanderbilt football.  Beating the Commodores HAS, however, proved
habit forming for most of the SEC, and I see the pattern continued
Saturday in Knoxville.  Tennessee by 24.

Maryland at NC State
Wolfpack boss Chuck Amato showed himself to be a true gambler last
Saturday in Tallahassee, when he chose to go for a 1st down on 4th
and 1 in overtime.   Rolling the dice proved snake-eyes for Daddy
Chuck, but he said he'd gamble again if given a chance.  Gotta love
that attitude.  The only cure for losing is winning, right?
Speaking of gambles, I'd say asking rotund Ralph Friedgen anywhere
near your home around Thanksgiving might be asking for it.  Tell
Mrs. Amato to make an extra trip to Piggly Wiggly, Chuck.  NC State
by 2.

Duke at North Carolina
It would be so easy to describe this as a battle between two schools
looking forward to basketball season, as things haven't exactly been
rosy on the gridiron at Durham and Chapel Hill.  But in North
Carolina's case, roundball hasn't been Nirvana, either.  But with
new coach Roy Williams calling the old pick and roll, I'd expect
things to pick up around the Heels' hoops.  As for this contest, I'm
with most of the fans.  Who really cares?   Which, if either, team
will show up?  And, I'm not being figurative, folks.  I literally
wonder if either team will PHYSICALLY show up.   Never mind the
fans.  It's a given that they'll stay away in droves.   As for my
pick, let's go with the Duke double (Devils win in both football and
basketball).  Blue Devils win on the road, let's call it by a three
point shot.

Kentucky at Georgia
Mark Richt's Georgia pups have hopefully learned their lesson, with
regard to playing up and down to the competition.  In the days
preceding the Florida-Georgia cocktail party, the Dogs sniffed
around in games against Vanderbilt and UAB, getting nothing more
than a win in each case.  The loss to the Gators looked potentially
devastating, with an athletic directors' vote to determine the SEC
East winner staring them in the face.  Then they got
lucky....twice.   First, the SEC quickly changed their rules to ape
the BCS plan, with only a couple of "what ifs" tossed in for fun.
Then, the schizo Tennessee Vols decided to defeat mighty Miami,
thereby wedging themselves between Georgia and the only SEC East
rival to defeat Jawja this year, eliminating Florida's chance to get
into Atlanta on a technicality.   Florida State's loss to Clemson,
thereby destroying the UF strength of schedule plan, was just
insurance.  So, the lesson being taught by the UK Cats in this
obedience school session is simple.  Play football.   Take care of
business.   If Mark's dogs fail to bury their bones, some other
dog....say a hound named Smokey....might just pick them up and head
to Hotlanta.  Look for this dog and cat fight to go as biologically
intended.   Georgia by 14.

Mississippi State at Arkansas
I understand that Arkansas coach Houston Nutt gave Jackie Sherrill a
call early this week.  It wasn't that Houston wanted to specifically
wish the old man a happy retirement, although I'm sure the sentiment
was shared.  Nutt actually needed Jackie's advice on a defensive
scheme.  It seems that the Hogs' starting linebacker was arrested
last week, and the Razorback headman had to figure Jackie'd know a
good defense attorney. Whether he did or not isn't known.  But
speaking of crime, it's almost criminal the degree to which
Mississippi State has quit on this season.  So, unless they load the
entire Razorback starting 22 into a paddy wagon, I'd say Saturday
will be a jailbreak for the Arky offense AND defense.  Assault and
battery, and a whole lot more....Arkansas by 21.

California at Stanford
The Cal-Stanford contest produced one of college football's greatest
finishes.  How many times have YOU seen the Bears' famous last play
where the guy returns a kick with fans and band members already on
the field celebrating a Cardinal victory?  It's a continuing joke
that Stanford would have won that day if ONLY the Trombone player
could make a tackle.  Well, quite a bit of time has passed, but
things are much the same in the Bay Area.   The Stanford band still
can't play defense....in fact, they can't even play Sousa, but
that's another matter.  And history will repeat itself on Saturday,
probably with a lot less notoriety.  California by 7.

Oregon State at Oregon
One of Autzen Stadium's nicknames is "the duck pond".  And although
both Beavers and Ducks call ponds home territory, I don't believe
the OSU flat-tails will find any home comfort in this Eugene
waterhole.  The Beavers will have to find some other stream to damn
on Saturday if they hope to feel at home, because the welcome mat is
not out at the University of Oregon.  Ducks by 2.

Clemson at South Carolina
The state of South Carolina is becoming a deadly place for to be a
college football coach.  All season long, Clemson coach Tommy Bowden
has been on the proverbial hot seat.  Recent wins over Florida State
and Duke may have cooled things a bit, but lil' Bowden is far from
safely employed.  And after last weekend's loss to Florida, I've
learned that there is now a website (www.firelouholtz.com) dedicated
to retiring Lou the weasel.  So, if ever there were "must win" games
for both sides, this is it.  Let's put it this way...  Clemson is
playing better and they seem to have a renewed focus on football.
But, this is only Tommy Bowden's 8th year as a head coach.  Lou
Holtz has been coaching football since before Tommy was born.  And
unlike Tommy, Lou's been fired before.  He knows it's not the end of
the world.  I'm sure the weasel will offer encouragement and
sympathy when the post-game handshake occurs.  Showing that 40 year
veterans know how to win in "must" situations, look for the
Gamecocks to protect their coop and Lou's job.  In an upset, South
Carolina by 3.

Oklahoma at Texas Tech
Some people believe that they'll need extra generators to keep the
scoreboard going in this contest.  And, it's true that both Oklahoma
and TT have great offenses.  But, you'll notice that the Stoops
brothers haven't given up on the defensive side of the equation.
It's said that offenses win fans and defenses win championships.
Nobody ever said the Stoops weren't greedy, as they want to win
both.  Look for HALF of the scoreboard to take a beating on
Saturday.  Sooners by 21.

UCLA at USC
It's a good thing that THIS contest is a home game for the "Men of
Troy".  That guarantees that they only have to make one trip to the
Rose Bowl this year. <g> Seriously, the finest minds in USC's
schools of advanced mathematics, statistical analysis and behavioral
science are studying the Byzantine ciphering that IS the BCS
formula, in an attempt to discern the Trojans fall from grace.
Through apparently no fault of their own, SC now finds themselves
looking up at the defending national champions from Ohio State, and
may be shut out of a trip to the big show in New Orleans.  The fault
for this actually lies on the opposing sideline(s).  Ohio State's
last two games were/are against Purdue and Michigan.   USC plays
Arizona and UCLA.  Pete Carroll and company have to depend on Lloyd
Carr and the Michigan Wolverines, if they're to have a chance at the
ADT Trophy.  The simple fact is that the Trojans cannot possibly
beat the Wildcats and Bruins badly enough to supplant the Buckeyes
in the Sugar Bowl.  But, that won't stop the "Men" from trying to
make up ground via the rout route.  SC by 31.

Alabama at Auburn
The Auburn Tigers are a power football team.  They love to smack an
opponent in the mouth, giving them the old "one-two".  The problem
has been switching from "one" to "two".  Auburn wants to run the
football.  BUT, if they're unable to do so, Jason Campbell and
company have had no success in going airborne.  So, the ability of
an opponent to shut down "one" is the determining factor of win
versus lose for the Tommy Tuberville's Tigers.  Alabama's team isn't
much good this year.  But, they do play with heart and emotion.  And
more than anything else, they have shown an ability to stop the
run.  Knowing that Auburn's pitiful passing could allow the Tide to
get away with putting all 11 defenders in the box makes me willing
to stick my neck out on this one.  Even in Auburn, the Tigers have
shown that when they can't run, they can't win.  In an upset,
Alabama by 2.

Ohio State at Michigan
Ohio State keeps winning the close games.  They do it with solid
defense and a large helping of what appears to be luck.  Is it
really possible that God could be a Buckeye?   Even after Woody
Hayes?  Well, God had better be wearing scarlet and gray Saturday
because this week finds OSU lining up against a team that they just
can't beat.  Michigan has way more offense, and THEIR defense will
stymie the pitiful Buckeye offense.  And, teams just can't continue
winning on luck alone, right?  Doesn't this sound a lot like the
things being said before last year's Fiesta Bowl?  I thought so.
Ohio State, in an upset, by 2.

LSU at Mississippi
There have been two extremely lucky football teams in the top twenty
five of the BCS.  I've already addressed the Ohio State Buckeyes
(above).  The other would have to be the blessed Mississippi
Rebels.  How they've remained unbeaten in the SEC is beyond
comprehension.  Everyone keeps talking about how Ole Miss "beat"
Auburn two weeks ago.  Certainly, you've all heard the term "by the
grace of God".  I'd call having a college wide receiver drop a pass
that 8 year old pee-wees catch 75% of the time as "luck".  I'm sure
the Rebel faithful disagree.   There's nothing to say that good
fortune can't save Mississippi one more time Saturday in Oxford.
But I just think it's unlikely.  God CAN be in two places at once,
but I believe he'll have his hands full helping Ohio State beat
Michigan.  LSU by 7.

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Last week was perhaps my worst mid-season week in over ten years.
Still after Armageddon.....

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 11/08/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 397
GAMES CORRECT 294
PCT CORRECT 74.1%
=============================================================
Thursday, November 13, 2003
Marshall at Miami(OH)
It's been a while since anything named Miami won a nationally-
broadcast football game.  That's gonna change Thursday as the Ohio
Red Hawks are expecting and expected to peck away at the visiting
Herd from Marshall.  But then again, anything could happen in such a
bitter conference rivalry.  Like "one of the" tight ends at that
OTHER Miami would say, "it's war out there".  Look for the
Ohio "soldiers" to win this engagement.  Miami by 7.

Virginia at Maryland
It may still be two weeks until Thanksgiving, but this Thursday
night buffet will be a feast for college football fans.  Speaking of
food, Al Groh and his Virginia Cavaliers enter College Park planning
to feast on Turtle Soup.  However, any good Maryland eatery will
also have a few wooden hammers lying around, which are usually used
to bust up crab and lobster.  Thursday night, I believe that the
locals will find an alternate use for this handy utensil, as Ralph's
reptiles "drop the hammer" on UVA.  I wouldn't blame Al if he
skipped leaving a tip, because I don't think he's gonna like the
service.  Maryland by 4.

Saturday, November 15, 2003
Michigan State at Wisconsin
Whaddaya get when you cross Jeffrey, the MSU quarterback, with the
Wisconsin fans?  Smoker Cheese!  Sorry for yet another dairy dissing
of the Badger battalion, but I'm milking it for all its worth.  I
know that cheesy humor is beginning to grate on all of your nerves,
but here's hoping that you don't melt down upon reading yet another
example.  Michigan State by 7.

Kansas at Oklahoma State
The Cowboys of Okie State failed miserably last weekend in their
attempt to round up the Texas Longhorns.  Instead, it was the `pokes
who got themselves shot out of the saddle for the second week in a
row.  This weekend might produce another blowout score in
Stillwater, but for the first time in a while, the hometown heroes
won't be the zeroes.  Look for a happier rodeo Saturday as the
Cowboys pluck KU's Jayhawks in short order.   OSU by 21.

Minnesota at Iowa
Both the Gophers and Hawkeyes have now officially been eliminated
from the Big Ten championship race.  However, this Saturday's
contest will be the usual fierce battle between two conference
rivals.  And, it's not likely to be settled until late into the
sixty minute clock.  Why would two teams fight so vociferously in
what is basically a meaningless game in the Big Ten race?  Have any
of you ever put on a pair of short pants and a short-sleeved shirt
and walked out of your house in late December, or perhaps early
January?   How many of you have done it in Minneapolis or Iowa
City?  Do you suppose such behavior would be more fun somewhere
else, say....Texas, Florida, Arizona or some other state not
requiring snow tires?  THAT'S what the fight is all about on
Saturday.  It's colder in Minnesota, so I'd expect the Gophers to
fight hardest in this contest.  "Plowing" their way to a November
win and perhaps a December trip, call this one Golden Gophers by 4.

Indiana at Penn State
Last weekend, I described the Indiana-Illinois game as the battle
for 11th place in the Big Ten.  But folks, please accept my
apologies.  I completely forgot about Penn State.  The Nittany Lions
are making a late season push to claim the lowest rung on the
ladder.  And although it may be the only honor that Joe Paterno has
yet to win, I don't believe he's ready to live in the conference
cellar.  Nice guys finish last is what they say....but not
necessarily dead last.  C'mon kittens, win one for the old man.
Penn State by 3.

Virginia Tech at Temple
The Hokies have truly been on a roller coaster ride over the last
three weeks.  First, there was the low of the shocking West Virginia
defeat.  Next, the exhilaration of the Miami rout, which re-thrust
the Turkeys into the late Thanksgiving season BCS shuffle, or so it
seemed.  Then, another nadir occurs on the trip to Pittsburgh.  On
Saturday, I see the coaster ride having another high for Virginia
Tech, as they'll easily crush outmanned Temple.  But as we all know,
those two losses clearly state that Beamer's boys have "stayed too
long at the fair".  Hokies by 28.

Houston at Army
The coaching staff at Army has studied the long and proud history of
Cadet football.  And, they've finally come up with a fool-proof plan
to restore the glory of West Point on the old gridiron.  Now, all
they have to do is sell the country on the idea of reinstating the
draft.  Until then, look for the all-volunteer squad at Army to keep
getting shelled.  Houston by 14.

Troy State at Utah State
Have any of you ever listened to Troy State University's marching
band?  The "Sound of the South" is a magnificent organization.  A
long time ago, my father's college roommate was Johnny Long, once
the "Sound of the South's" director.  In fact, you'll notice that
Troy State is presently a finalist in ESPN's silly "fight song
frenzy" shtick.  (FWIW, Trev Albert thinks Georgia Tech is THE best
of the bands he's seen.  That just proves that there's another
subject on which Trev is clueless...)  Oh well, check out the TSU
band if you ever get a chance.  As for the Trojan football team,
look for them to face the music on the road out west.  Utah State by
1.

UTEP at Boise State
Things have been moving pretty slow for the Miners of UTEP this
year.  In an effort to speed things up, they've decided to upgrade
the power source on their mine wagon.  Junking the usual mule, the
Miners head to the Idaho horse country, looking to hitch their mine
wagon(s) to a thoroughbred.  The Broncos of Boise State may be a
poor choice, however.  First of all, the mere fact that they're
still "bucking" indicates that these horses have yet to be broken.
And even if UTEP manages to get a bronc or two hitched to their wagon
(s), they'll find that they're dealing with wayyy too much
horsepower.  Ever heard the term "Miner 49er"?  Boise State by 49.

Washington at California
Geographically speaking, the Seattle Huskies are headed in the wrong
direction.  By mid to late November, most snow dogs are mushing
northward in anticipation of a long winter's work.  But, 2003 duty
is just about done for the Washington litter.  UW will probably get
a cold reception in Berkeley, but that's just the way that sled dogs
like things.  Putting the chill back onto the Bear backers, call
this one an upset win for the Huskies.  Washington by 3.

Oregon at UCLA
OK, I admit it.  I often search the internet for some insight as to
who is going to win football games.  Everyone needs a little help,
right?  BUT...I've got problems in this contest.  I always expand my
searches to include synonyms and spelling variations.   First of
all, I blitzed out and confused Oregon and Oregon State.  For some
ridiculous or perhaps Freudian reason, I decided that Oregon was the
Beavers instead of the Ducks.   So..among the words I typed into the
search engine were "bare" (Bear, as in Bruin) and "beaver".   There
appears to be plenty of information available on these related
subjects, but I haven't gotten to it yet.  I'm still busy trying to
prove that I'm over 18 and that I don't live in Utah.  So, I guess
I'll just flip a coin.  UCLA by 2.

Stanford at Oregon State
As you probably read above, I'm having some difficulty in separating
Beavers from birds this week.  I got confused for a bit, calling the
Oregon Ducks by OSU's nickname.  And, picking this game, I
compounded the mistakes and confusion by deciding that the Stanford
Cardinal was a bird name.  Later, I did come to my senses and
realized (again) that Cardinal referred to a color and not
a....Cardinal. :)   Anyway, as I seek analysis to fight my way
through this whole beaver, bear, bird and color thing, let me make a
call for the homeboys in this Pac Ten hookup.  I see the flat-tails
flattening Stanford's tails in Corvallis on Saturday.  Oregon State
by 7.

Arizona State at Washington State
The Wazzoo Cougars may have failed in their bid to capture the Pac
Ten, but 2003 could still be "their year to visit Pasadena".  It
seems that eventual conference champ USC may have bigger fish to fry
in Louisiana come January.  So, look for Washington State to make
the first payment on a large bunch of New Year's roses as Arizona
State comes into the Pullman flower shop on Saturday.  Wazzoo by 9.

Texas A&M at Missouri
It's a common notion that history repeats itself.  But, that's not
something that Dennis Frangione and the Aggies should fret about on
Saturday.  Coming off the worst loss in school history, I see no
reason to expect a loss of greater than 78 points this weekend in
Columbia.  It'll be much closer than that.   Mizzou by 3.

Colorado at Iowa State
Cyclones, by nature, do involve a degree of vacuum action, which is
produced by the swirling storm's winds.  But in 2003, Iowa State has
allowed this "sucking" aspect of Cyclone behavior to become too
prevalent on the football field.  This trend forecasts unexpected
and unwelcome stormy weather for the home fans, as Gary Barnette's
rejuvenated Buffs stampede into town. Iowa State MAY take aim at CU
in Ames, but "CU" pretty much says it all, as in the Buffs will
say "see you" later to ISU on Saturday.  This game won't prove that
Coach Barnette wasn't insane when he called the 2003 Buffaloes "the
best team he's ever coached".  But, it will suggest that such mental
illness can be cured by patience and a weakened schedule.   Colorado
by 6.

BYU at Notre Dame
This contest pits the collegiate representatives of two major
religions against each other.  Saturday in South Bend, it's the
Mormons against the Catholics.  The two faiths do have some
similarities, beyond a rich college football tradition.  For
instance, both Catholic and Mormon families tend to be quite large,
although they accomplish this feat in differing ways. <g>
Saturday's game will be decided by the specific strengths of the
respective churches.  The Mormon Tabernacle Choir fills the air with
song much as the BYU football team fills the air with footballs.
Old time Catholics, on the other hand, bury their dead in
catacombs.   And, they keep their football on the ground, too.  On
Saturday, look for the running game to be Notre Dame's preaching to
the choir.  Continuing their win streak, Irish by 6.

Michigan at Northwestern
Early on, this seemed to be a disastrous season for the Michigan
Wolverines.  But, thanks to a series of twisted events AND a furious
fourth quarter rally in Minneapolis, big Blue is in good position to
claim a share of the Big Ten crown by simply winning out.  That
could make 2003 the most memorable season that Wolverine fans have
ever forgotten.  The Wolverines keep the dream alive, and will swat
the Wildcats on the road.   Michigan by 10.

LSU at Alabama
Last weekend was heaven for the Crimson Tide faithful.  First, their
elephants stomped Jackie Sherrill's Mississippi State Bulldogs,
shutting the pooches out in Starkville.  THEN, the Alabama fans
who'd ponied up for ESPN Gameplan were treated to the historic
pounding absorbed by ex-Tide rat and Benedict Arnold, Dennis
Frangione, as the Texas A&M Aggies were shellacked in Norman by the
mighty OU Sooners.  A weekend of true magic.   The Auburn loss was
just icing on the cake.  But whereas everything about last Saturday
was great, this weekend isn't going to go as well.  The Tide's going
to have a Tiger in their Tuscaloosa tank Saturday, and things are
going to end up a mess at Bryant-Denny.  Cementing their BCS
standing while running Alabama into a brick wall, LSU wins big on
the road.  Tigers by 17.

North Carolina at Georgia Tech
If Chan Gailey and his Yellowjackets get themselves routed by the
worst team in the ACC (last weekend vs Duke), what can be expected
when this Saturday's opponent is the second-worst team in the ACC?
More of the same, actually....except in the opposite direction.
Restoring order to this year's "usual" in the conference, Tech
stings Carolina in Hotlanta.  Yellowjackets by 8.

Syracuse at Miami
Here's another "traditional" Big East match that's melting away with
Miami's 2004 move to the ACC.  And, speaking of "traditional"
matchups, it's a good thing that Miami and Syracuse aren't like
Minnesota and Wisconsin.  Those two teams play for "Paul Bunyan's
Ax" annually.  I wouldn't want Kellen Winslow to be anywhere near an
ax during a football game.  Sure, the chosen one apologized (in
print) after his "I'm a soldier and this is war" outburst last
weekend.  If you'd like this writer's opinion, I think that Private
Winslow needs a little time peelin' potatoes, but that's up to
General Coker.  Also during last weekend's loss, there was a
particularly funny sign spotted in the Orange Bowl stands.  It
read, "Oh, My God.  We want Rutgers??"  I understand the sentiment,
and I believe that in the Scarlet Knights' absence, Syracuse will
do.  Healing a few of the Hurricane wounds, the Orange get squeezed
in south Florida on Saturday.   UM by 14.

Mississippi State at Tennessee
While viewing lowlights of Mississippi State's recent capitulation
against Alabama, one of the ESPN hacks made a comment that the
Bulldogs were a team "that had completely quit".  This couldn't be
further from the truth, actually.  In order to quit, you first have
to start, which MSU never really did.  This year, the Starkville
Mutts have been dead in the water from day one.  UT is prime for a
let-down on Saturday, but couldn't have any better loss insurance
than Mississippi State.  Making sure Coach Jackie takes lots of fond
memories into retirement, look for the Bulldogs to roll over and
play dead once again.  Tennessee by 14.

Florida at South Carolina
People keep talking about how good South Carolina is going to be in
the very near future.  The Gamecocks DO have a very young team.
Coupled with their wise old coach, the chicks may become nasty
little roosters by as early as 2004.  But, youth is not the
exclusive coop of the Gamecock.   The Florida Gators still get
carded at the local liquor stores.  Ron Zook's kids are improving
week to week, and will present a formidable challenge to any
expected future SEC championships at South Carolina.  Speaking of
Ron Zook, let's just say that there's going to be another downturn
in hits at the old fireronzook.com website after Saturday's trip to
Columbia.   Becoming the first Florida team, college or pro, to win
in the Carolinas since September, call this one Florida by 16.

Duke at Clemson
This ACC contest features two teams coming off surprise wins last
Saturday.  Duke won their first conference contest of both the
century and millennia with a trouncing of the schizo Georgia Tech
Yellowjackets.  Clemson made a statement in the campaign to save
Tommy Bowden's job by winning Bowden Bowl V in a shockingly decisive
fashion.  Little B is still in a heap of trouble, employment-wise.
First, this IS the golden year for his detractors, as his contract
has a one-time-only buyout clause for less than 3/4 of his annual
salary.  If Clemson had gone 11-1, there would still be people
looking at getting rid of Tommy, just from the economic standpoint.
As for this game, the Tigers had best keep winning...and winning
big.  A loss to Duke will go a lot farther in getting Tommy canned
than last weekend's win went to keep him around.  Clemson by 7,
which isn't going to be good enough for Tommy.

New Mexico State at Arkansas
The Enchantment Land Aggies roll into the Fayetteville hog pen in
search of some Saturday bacon.  But before this barbecue's done,
look for the WACky farmhands to be the ones eating slop.  Making
bigger pigs of themselves than NMSU probably would expect, look for
Houston Nutt's Hogs to root themselves a 17 point out-of-conference
truffle.

Memphis at Louisville
It started in the old "Metro" basketball conference.  The
partnership, rivalry and brotherhood continued into Conference USA.
Memphis and Louisville have been in several conferences, but they've
always been together.  Soon, the partnership is dissolving.  The
Cardinals are flying into the Big East, while the Tigers will
continue to prowl, and maybe someday conquer, CUSA.  This last
conference hookup will be more of what has been pretty standard
throughout their shared history, namely Louisville roughing up the
Cats.  Something tells me that Memphis won't play any blues upon the
final departure of their sadistic Kentucky brothers.  Cardinals by 7.

Baylor at Oklahoma
Aren't there laws against this sort of public brutality?  There are
guys in prison down at Guantanamo who've done far less than Bob and
Mike Stoops are going to do to Baylor on Saturday.  If this is on
TV, turn off the set, folks.  Your kids don't need to see this
atrocity unfold in living color.  OU by 52.

Cincinati at TCU
This is becoming a special year for "non-BCS" schools.  Their poster
boys, the TCU Horned Frogs, have slipped into BCS position #6,
virtually guaranteeing themselves a spot in a BIG bowl game.  Dare
anyone dream of a trip to New Orleans?  Maybe we WILL have a New
Year's battle of unbeatens.  But, perhaps the Froggies should think
things through.  Is there some reason that NOBODY seems to want to
sit at #2 for long this year?  Is playing in the Sugar Bowl opposite
Oklahoma REALLY the way to start off 2004?   What's so wrong with a
trip to Dallas, thereby avoiding the whole BCS show.  You could
finish unbeaten and ranked something like 3rd or 4th.  You could
gripe until time immortal about how "you could've won it all" in
2003-4, and nobody'd be able to contradict you with any certainty.
We have a saying in the South that one should be "careful what you
ask for `cause you jus' might get it".  TCU, with each successive
win, keeps asking for it.  Something tells me that, come January,
they're gonna get it, from someone else if not Oklahoma.  I see the
Frogs continuing to "protect their lilypad", TCU by 10.  (Note...I
know that horned frogs do not sit on lilypads.  One needs such tools
for humor, folks.)

USC at Arizona
The "Men of Troy", as they now prefer to be called, are clearly
pointed towards New Orleans and a date with the Sooners.  All
they'll have to do is avoid any late-season stumbles that'd unseat
them from BCS #2.  The Wildcats of Arizona are more of a hole than
a "bump in the road".  It's true that falling into a hole can
sometimes cause great pain and suffering.  But in reality, the Cats
are not a big enough hole to threaten anyone, especially someone
wearing Trojan armor.  USC by 21.

Pittsburgh at West Virginia
The Big East may be shrinking in both size and importance.  But,
games like the annual Pittsburgh-West Virginia contest keep things
interesting in the conference.  This year, there are national and
BCS implications as well.  This contest has earned the nickname
of "the backyard brawl".  Well, the neighborhood may be getting a
little smaller, and maybe a little run down.  But, these coal
country Hatfields and McCoys still know how to feud.  In an upset,
let's go with the local Hillbillies.  West Virginia by 2.

NC State at Florida State
The Seminoles were perhaps victims of forces beyond their control
last Saturday in Clemson.  First, there was the specter of the
Tigers fighting to save Tommy Bowden's job.  And second, there was
the extra Clemson inspiration derived from the presence of
James "Radio" Kennedy, the subject of the recent hit movie "Radio".
Radio was invited by Clemson to participate in the Howard's Rock
Run, and was given an autographed Tiger jersey.  The hometown
gesture was a special moment, one that will be remembered by Radio
and the Tiger fans for some time to come.  Florida State probably
went TOO far, however, when they allowed Radio to call most of their
plays.  THIS weekend, it had best be the Seminoles that find
themselves some form of inspiration for their football game against
NC State.  Normally, I'd say that two embarassing losses in a row to
the Wolfpack should be motivation enough to guarantee a Seminole
uprising.  But, losing and playing poorly doesn't seem to affect
this team or its coaching staff.  So, the danger is certainly there
for FSU to be humiliated at home again by ex-patriot FSU LB coach
Chuck Amato.  Amato and his team operate on a fuel seldom burned in
Tallahassee...raw emotion.  Still, look for the `Noles to drain
Chuck's tank on Saturday, thereby claiming another ACC crown.  FSU
by 4.

Kansas State at Nebraska
Even though things this year remain far from what the Wildcat fans
might have expected, season's end could well find K-State playing in
the Big XII title game.  A lot of people really believe that NO team
is actually good enough in the Big XII north to deserve a
championship shot.  An even more important question might be if any
northern club is dumb enough to WANT a shot at Oklahoma.  Look for
Nebraska to win this battle in an upset, perhaps simultaneously
losing the "brain brawl".  Cornhuskers by 2.

Auburn at Georgia
It's becoming clear that the Auburn Tigers simply cannot win a big
football game.  Trot out Western Kentucky or Louisiana-Monroe and
it's time for some Cadillac ranchin'.  But when it's LSU, USC or Ole
Miss across the line, that one-dimensional aspect of Auburn football
suddenly rears its ugly head.  The good news for Tommy's Tigers is
that THIS weekend's game is not now as big as some folks thought it
might have been only a few weeks ago. The bad news is that it's
still big enough to qualify as another big game failure in 2003.
I've tried my best to catch a whiff of an upset here, folks.  But
until Auburn shows the ability to throw and then catch some passes,
here comes loss number five in a season many thought would lead to
the Sugar Bowl.  Call it Bulldogs by 6.  Also, a little memo to
Tiger Coach Tuberville....the next time Jill Arrington is
interviewing you, please remember that her microphone is in her
HAND.   It's NOT in her bra.  I just hope that Mrs. Tuberville, if
there is one, wasn't watching last Saturday. <g>

Texas Tech at Texas
OK, first things first.  I blew it last week.  For SOME reason, I
decided that Oklahoma was a Big XII NORTH team, and then I saw in my
crystal ball where OU might hook up with the Texas Longhorns again
this year.  I got something like 100 letters on the subject...and
most of them were from Texas players insisting that there was NO way
they could play in the Big XII title game.  But, before you crucify
me, hear me out.  I'm not completely nuts.  MAYBE Texas and OU
cannot meet for the Big XII title.  But MAYBE they will meet again
this season.  Sure, Mack's cattle have two humiliating losses on
their slate.  But, they've quietly slipped back to fourth the BCS
standings.  Texas is only 2 moderate upsets away from a date with
Oklahoma in New Orleans.  Stranger things have happened, folks.
We'll just call it the Nebraska formula (sixty point loss, bypass
Big XII title game, sneak into BCS championship game).  Texas is
just adding another loss to make it more interesting.    OK, back to
picking this game.  The Longhorns and their ridiculed coach had best
think things through.  IF they're going to get a third loss this
year, would they rather it be some piddling little upset late in the
season, or another biblical smiting by Oklahoma in New Orleans.  I
know what I'd choose, but I'm not crazy.  Longhorn coach Mack Brown
IS a great recruiter, but that only means he's persuasive.  Superior
recruiting addresses nothing about him being smart.   From a job-
security and fan satisfaction standpoint, might make sense to
stumble over Texas Tech or Texas A&M, and then spend New Year's in
Dallas at the Cotton Bowl.  Maybe it's less than Rhodes Scholar
material to keep winning, while praying for USC and LSU to fall.
What will Mack choose?   Longhorns by 5.

Purdue at Ohio State
A lot of people still doubt Ohio State.  Their offensive ineptitude
is a constant national source of ridicule and criticism.  But as
they say, offense wins fans and defense wins championships.  I'm not
saying that OSU is about to win any championships, other than maybe
the Big Ten.  But, that "D" is still capable of winning a big game
for the Buckeyes, especially at home in their lucky Horseshoe.
Folks have described State's success this season as being "done with
mirrors".  To a degree, that's somewhat true, but I don't think that
Joe Tiller and company are going to like the reflection they'll see
in the Buckeye mirrors on Saturday.  My looking glass says that the
home team and defending national champs still have enough gumption
to win what will be a physical and low-scoring contest.  Surprising
some people, Ohio State wins another Big Ten squeaker.  Buckeyes by
3.

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  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
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THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/25/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 365
GAMES CORRECT 275
PCT CORRECT 75.3%
=============================================================
Wednesday, November 5, 2003
Louisville at TCU
Amid all this BCS talk of there being only "one undefeated team",
people seem to have forgotten about TCU.  The Horned Frogs may not
have set the college football world on fire, but neither have they
crashed and burned, or at least they haven't yet.  But, crossing the
BCS Gods is kind of like getting the Mafia mad at you.  In such a
case, one is likely to receive a visit from the local hit man.
Wednesday night in Fort Worth, look for the hatchet man/men to be
wearing Cardinal helmets.  Upsetting TCU while calming the college
football powers that be, call this one L'ullville by 2.

Thursday, November 6, 2003
South Carolina at Arkansas
Coach Houston's Hogs know a thing or two about slow-cooking.  Last
weekend, they won their second 7-overtime game within two years.
One might expect the Razorback chefs to be a little tired after such
an encounter, especially considering the short turnaround Thursday
game here.  But, like they say about ovens, they're probably just
getting warmed up.  We all know that consuming raw poultry is
dangerous, so it might not be a bad thing if Arkansas took their
time to thoroughly roast Lou Holtz's Gamecocks in this contest.
Even IF it takes a little extra time, I see the home folks enjoying
the entree.  In a close one, Arkansas by 3.

Utah State at New Mexico State
This contest just upsets me, as it features a hookup between two
groups of Aggies pushing pitchforks at each other.  With the state
of American farming, you'd think that such animosity between farming
communities would be counterproductive.  But assuming that both
Aggie clans ignore the famous "can't we all get along" plea of
Rodney King, I'd look for the Utah State harvest to be more
plentiful, even "down the road a piece" in New Mexico.   USU by 4.

Friday, November 7, 2003
Colorado State at New Mexico
Sonny Lubick's Rams have been baaaaaaaaaaddd to the Prophet on more
than one occasion in 2003.  But, that doesn't mean that I'm going to
be sheepish about picking them to win a football game.  Biology
would suggest that any meeting of wolves and sheep will turn out a
certain way.  But, as any Theory of Evolution opponent can tell you,
we can always ignore science.   Look for Lubick's little lambs to
nibble victory, even in the Wolves' den, on Friday night.   Colorado
State by 2.

Saturday, November 8, 2003
Penn State at Northwestern
Things looked pretty decent for Joe Paterno and his Knittin' Lions
last weekend.  They had the defending national champs, Ohio State,
on the ropes.  However at the last minute, the Buckeyes pulled their
usual rabbit out of a hat, and stole a win in State College.   It
almost seems as if they (Ohio State AND the football Gods) were
teasing ol' Joe.  Well, that shouldn't be an issue on Saturday.
Northwestern isn't the sort of team that teases anyone.   And, the
even better news is that they're one of the few beatable teams on
State's immediate schedule.  Getting win 339 for JoPa, the Lions
don't lose for the first time in weeks.   Penn State by 3.

Washington at Arizona
It's probably time that someone take the Arizona kitties to the old
animal shelter in Tucson.  Now, when one visits an animal facility,
you always see lots of fine animals who are just down on their luck,
animals that will be loved and adopted.  And, there are always those
cute kittens and puppies, who people can see will become something
special.  Again, adoption material.   As for the Aridzona cats?
Let's just say that they'd best have their wills made out.  If ever
a football team was a candidate for euthanasia, it's Arizona.
Washington by 14.

Georgia Tech at Duke
We all know that present Duke coach...make that interim coach...Ted
Roof is only filling space until season's end.  After that, the Blue
Devil brass will be looking for a new headmaster.   Some folks in
Durham longingly and foolishly hope/believe that ex-coach Steve
Spurrier might be available, assuming he can't survive Daniel Snyder
and the NFL.   But, the truth is that Duke had best set their sights
much, much lower.  Perhaps ex-Georgia Tech coach George O'Leary
might be interested in returning to the college game.  I understand
that he might be working on a master's degree, and is only a few
hundred hours short of getting one.  Then again, academics haven't
ever mattered at Duke, right?  Speaking of academics, it doesn't
take a rocket scientist to see who'll get launched into space in
this game.  Yellowjackets by 21.

Florida State at Clemson
Tommy Bowden grew to manhood well before daddy took over at Florida
State.  And, it's too bad, really, because living IN Florida might
have saved him great problems in his present life.   You see,
Florida's Department of Health and Human Services, other than
misplacing a few hundred foster kids, generally does a pretty good
job of watching out for our state's youth.  They'd have never
tolerated the type of child abuse that Bobby dishes out to Tommy on
an annual basis.   After the first couple of Bowden Bowl beatings,
Daddy would have found himself in the can, and young Tom might just
have a shot at keeping his job.   FWIW, Bobby really SHOULD keep
things moderate up in Tractorland on Saturday night, for his OWN
good.   IF Tommy gets sacked, it's a cinch that Jack Hines, a.k.a.
Tommy's brother-in-law and Bobby's son-in-law, is bound to be
unemployed, too.   If Daddy wins toooooo big, his house is going to
be pretty damned full by New Year's.  And, you know how it is with
family.  Visits are fine, but when they move in.....   Taking the
chance anyway, look for the ol' King of the Road to win another
family spat.   Florida State by 10.

West Virginia at Boston College
This is the game that annually spans the socio-economic spectrum in
the Big East.  On the home side, we have the toney and monied folks
from Chestnut Hill, Boston.  Old-time rich folks.  On the visitor's
sideline, it's Jed Clampett and the Morganton Hillbillies.  What the
Bostonians call a violin, the WVU folks call a fiddle.  You get the
idea, right?  Speaking of fiddles, I don't look for the Mountaineers
to do a lot of fiddlin' around in Beantown during this contest.
Like most jilted members of the Big East, West Virginny isn't too
keen on being left behind by the ACC traitors in Boston, Blacksburg
and Miami.  I see the hillfolk putting a good ol' "show `em"
whuppin' on the Eagles in this contest.  Mountaineers by 12.

Fresno State at Nevada
This game is really just a family reunion.  You've got the wild (the
Nevada Wolfpack) and the domestic (The Fresno State Bulldogs) side
(s) of the canine species, hooking up for a gridiron howlin'.  FSU
West has made a bit of noise on the NCAA scene over the past couple
of years, but things tend to be quieting down a bit around the dog
pound in Fresno.  So for this weekend's growl, I'm going to walk on
the wild side and pick the Wolves to win.   Wild or tame, dogs tend
to be territorial, and I believe that Nevada will protect the home
turf.  Wolfpack by 4.

Arizona State at Stanford
Palo Alto is becoming a Pac Ten version of the La Brea tar pit.
Much like the prehistoric phenomenon down in southern California,
gridiron beasts keep finding their way into Stanford Stadium, only
to become mired in Coach Buddy Teevens' muck.  On THEIR visit, USC
barely escaped with their collective lives.   UCLA didn't fare as
well, succumbing last Saturday.  Look for the Tempe Sun Devils to
encounter the same entombment on their bay area bossa nova THIS
weekend.  It's becoming a "Cardinal" rule to not take Stanford
lightly.   I see another Pac Ten team paying the price for breaking
said rule on Saturday.  In an upset, Stanford by 4.

UCLA at Washington State
The Bruins and Cougars have something more in common than simply
being members of the same conference.  Both UCLA and Wazzoo have
lined up against (one of) the two best football teams in
America....and have been soundly trounced.  So, both clubs know how
far they have to go to reach the pinnacle of college football
success....namely something like 35 or 40 points.  Both teams also
have a surprising loss that few can actually figure.  Last weekend,
the Bruins became "bad news bears" up at Stanford.  And to open the
season, Washington State lost to Notre Dame.  Notre Dame!!  Egad.
This game is truly a crossroad(s) for both teams, and will define
where the remainder of this season leads.  I believe that Washington
State will find their way back onto the road of success Saturday in
Pullman, and might yet get a major bowl bid.  UCLA, on the other
hand, still has another beating to absorb from one of those two good
teams up ahead.  The only "road sign" I see for Coach What's his
name and crew is "Detour".  Washington State by 7.

California at Oregon
Everyone remembers that old kiddie game of duck-duck-duck-GOOSE.
Well, the "extreme" version of that game might go something like
duck-duck-duck-BEAR. For Saturday, I don't believe that the contest
will be child's play, but I do guess that the Berkeley Bears might
just get away with playing games in Autzen Stadium.  This is
something that you never used to be able to say.  The crowd in
Eugene is still feverish, but the football team just seems a little
sick.  Not exactly child's play, but a road win nonetheless,
California by 4.

Missouri at Colorado
Here's another chance for "the best team that Gary Barnette's ever
had" to prove themselves against a Big XII conference member.  The
Buffs have been showing some signs of life lately, and might be
ready to rumble in the Rockies on Saturday.  Their opponent, the
Tigers of Mizzou, may be headed in a slightly different direction.
After starting the season with a bang, they've begun to fade into
the belly of the Big XII north.  Look for home to be where the
Buffalo roam this weekend as, in an upset, Colorado makes a little
late season statement.  CU by 2.

Army at Air Force
This Saturday finds "an Army of one" marching into Colorado Springs
for a contest with the Air Force.  As with most of the Cadets' games
this year, the West Pointers just don't have the numbers to compete
with their opponents.  Unless they can recruit a few ringers on the
trip west, I'd suspect this campaign to be doomed before the first
quarter is over.  Air Force by 17.

Wisconsin at Minnesota
For the earlier part of 2003, both Wisconsin and Minnesota were
traveling first class in college football.  But in mid-October, a
couple of "chokes" redefined where the Gophers and Badgers were
headed with the old pigskin.  Wisconsin's QB was choked by an Ohio
State player, and later injured in another game, leaving Barry's
Rats somewhat less offensive in nature.   And Minnesota simply
choked, coughing up a huge hairball in a fourth-quarter collapse
against Michigan.  Since most Big Ten rivalries involve a contest
for some inanimate object (The battle for the little brown jug, the
old oaken bucket, granny's old enema bag....whatever), perhaps we
should re-christen this contest as the battle for the old hangman's
noose?   If such an idea comes to pass, look for the Gophers to
tighten the old slipknot on the folks from Madison this Saturday in
the Homerdome.  D'oh!!   Minnesota by 8.

Illinois at Indiana
Like I said above, Big Ten rivalries always have some colorful
denotation.  This contest could be the rumble for the lowest ladder
rung, as possibly THE two worst teams in the Big Ten fight it out to
avoid finishing 11th.  It's kind of like a tournament play-in game,
in reverse.  Indiana by 1.

Central Florida at Eastern Michigan
I see where Central Florida is leaving the Mid-America conference to
join Conference USA.  God knows why they'd do such a silly thing.
Having half-baked conference members such as the mighty Hurons is
always good for a "W" or two, so why screw things up?  This game may
actually be a little tighter than you'd expect.  UCF's starting QB
has been kicked off the team for the old "violation of an
unspecified team rule".  Hmmmm, whaddaya think?   Doing dope or
contact with an agent?  Knights by 6.

Navy at Notre Dame
Let's think a little about history.....It's been over forty years
since the Naval Academy defeated Notre Dame in football.  Thinking
back to that day that Roger Staubach and the Middies triumphed,
Khrushchev was the Russian premier and the Cuban missile crisis had
yet to occur, bread was a dime a loaf and gas was 18 cents a gallon,
the worst teams in baseball were the Washington Senators and New
York Mets (some things never change...), you could still purchase a
new Studebaker, even rich people often still had black & white
television sets in their living rooms, football players
with "junior" status would always play another year before turning
pro, the New York Jets were still being called the "Titans", and
Notre Dame was getting ready to switch football coaches.  This
weekend doesn't find us quite ready to see a repeat on that last
item, but Ty Willingham had best not lose this contest to Navy, or
he could find his support "sinking" fast.  Sure this year is shot,
and the Irish are going nowhere.  But, it'd be better for Coach if
the Irish went nowhere without a loss to Navy on their record.
Notre Dame by 3.

Nebraska at Kansas
Losing in a rout to Texas last weekend was truly, in the opinion of
most Huskers, for the birds.  So this Saturday, they can take out
their frustration ON the birds in Lawrence.  KU had some early-
season success, but those days seem far removed.  Most roads in
Kansas are very, very flat.  BUT, I'd expect a bumpy ride for the
home team when an extremely chagrined and annoyed bunch of Big
Redders arrive on Saturday.  Settling last weekend's score, call
this one Nebraska by 20.

Wake Forest at North Carolina
UNC may be the Tar Heels, but it's going to take quite a while
to "heal" what's happened to the kids from Chapel Hill this football
season.  The Heels have seldom been close, and THIS Saturday
afternoon.  Jim Grobe's road sermons haven't been for the football
faint of heart, and I don't see any comfort being had in the home
pews here, either.  Another Tar Heel pasting, call it Wake Forest by
16.

Alabama at Mississippi State
Say what you will about Tide Coach Mike Shula.  He's got Alabama
football team in very select company.  After last weekend's OT loss
to Tennessee, the Tide joins the mighty Duke Blue Devils as the only
team to have lost to Tennessee since early October.  Saturday's trip
to Starkville will allow Brodie Croyle and the troops to mingle in
more common circles, joining the scads of squads that've trumped
Jackie Sherrill's Bulldogs.  Alabama by 12.

Vanderbilt at Florida
Several weeks ago, Gator Coach Zook referred to "noise in the
system", describing the discontent around Gainesville with UF's
early third loss of the season.  Ever since that comment, Florida
has been on the SEC road, and the subsequent upset wins have served
to oil the noisy "system" to a degree that allows a return to the
swamp.  Things should continue to run smoothly for Ron and company,
as the Vandy Commodores are just the lubricant to grease an easy
homecoming win.  I'm only assuming that it's homecoming in
Gainesville, but if it isn't....it ought to be.  Perfect weekend for
the old grads to be in town.  Florida by 20.

USF at East Carolina
Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean" continues to rake in big dough.
And, there's every reason to believe that the forthcoming sequel
will be at least AS rewarding.  However, Pirates haven't been as big
of a hit in 2003 CUSA football.  And, the folks in the Carolinas are
hoping against hope that 2004 does NOT bring a sequel similar to the
season endured at ECU this year.  If movie critics Ebert and Roper
were to rate the Pirate season, it'd definitely be "two thumbs
down".  And speaking of "thumbs down", it's looking that way on
Saturday as the Tampa Bulls visit Greenville.  This is one football
team from the Tampa Bay area that's capable of winning two games in
a row, unlike the world champion Buccaneers.  South Florida by 10.

Tulane at UAB
The Green Wave of Tulane rolls into the steel city, and they're
looking to douse the flaming Blazers of UAB.  Tulane's offensive
firepower might have some extinguishing capacity, but I believe that
their water supply will run out before game's end.  That'll leave
the visitors from New Orleans "all burned up", or as they like to
say in the French Quarter....  "blackened".  UAB by 12.

Texas A&M at Oklahoma
The teams on the Sooners' 2003 schedule have to feel like a bunch of
folks playing Russian roulette with a fully-loaded pistol.  You can
spin the chamber however you so choose...but the end result is
always the same.  Look for another visitor to Norman to go down with
a bang on Saturday.  OU only has a few little hurdles on their trip
to the Sugar Bowl, and Texas A&M isn't one of the bigger ones.  In
fact, they're not even a good speed bump on the Sooner Expressway.
Oklahoma by 24.

Iowa at Purdue
This could be a very interesting game.  Both Iowa and Purdue have
had excellent seasons, and are hoping that top-ten reward(s) come
their way at the campaign's conclusion.   The secret to picking such
an "even" contest will, in my view, be found in comparing each
team's result versus Michigan.  Iowa won and Purdue got smeared.
But beyond that, it's how the games played out that matters.  Iowa
simply wore the Wolverines down, and I believe they have the
capacity to do the same to the Boilermakers.  Memo to Kyle Orcutt
and PU....you'd better get way ahead early, dudes.   And then, hang
on.   It says here they can't do it, even in the friendly vicinity
of West Lafayette.  Iowa by 2.

Texas at Oklahoma State
If Mack Brown and the Texas Longhorns aren't careful, they just
might play themselves into the Big XII title game against the OU
Sooners.  That's what they'd really like, right?  Texas could have
an opportunity, if they just keep winning, to rewrite the recent
sorry history of their rivalry with Oklahoma, perhaps erasing some
of the national embarrassment suffered in numerous Red River routs.
That's what they'd really like, right?  And besides, there's no risk
to the `Horns, were they to keep to winning.  They couldn't possibly
get beaten in the title game any worse than they did in Dallas,
right?  Mack and company just might want to do some long-term
planning on this Big XII title game thing.  But for now, they'll
continue stumbling towards another Stoopes-afied beating in
December.  In a close one, Texas surprisingly beats someone with the
word "Oklahoma" on their jersies.  Longhorns by 2.

Michigan State at Ohio State
Columbus, Ohio plays host to this weekend's meeting of Big
Ten "almost" teams from LAST Saturday.  Ohio State almost got
themselves beaten in Pennsylvania, while MSU almost pulled a miracle
comeback against Michigan.  This weekend's contest is
another "almost" for both teams.  Win, and you're almost a contender
to visit Pasadena.  Lose, and you're almost without hope for a major
bowl.  I almost went against the defending national champs on this
one.  Like I said....almost...  Ohio State by 2.

Tennessee at Miami(FL)
So, the Miami Hurricanes have complained to the Big East
about "cheap shots" taken at their center by Virginia Tech player
(s).  Miami is complaining about cheap shots.  Whew.  Just for the
record, UM has never been famous for being choirboys themselves,
right?   This has got to be a joke.  And again just for the record,
isn't the Big East in the process of suing the University of Miami?
In light of that, let's just say that I'm SURE the Big East will
take a good hard look at Miami's complaint.  Ha ha ha.  The
Volunteers of Tennessee might present, on most weeks, a decent
challenge for the Hurricanes.  UT's balanced attack is the sort that
plays well against Miami.  But THIS Saturday, Miami will be looking
to get even against somebody/anybody.  In advance, Tennessee might
want to ask the Big East to take a look at the cheap shots in THIS
game, too.  Miami by 14.

Virginia Tech at Pittsburgh
I don't know about you folks, but I watched and enjoyed last year's
Fox trash-series, "Joe Millionaire".  And although it's fashionable
to trash the sequel, I'm glued to the set every Monday this year,
watching "The Next Joe Millionaire".  I feel the same way about this
Virginia Tech game.  There is NO way I'll be any more entertained by
a Hokie victory than I was during last Saturday's vivisection of
Miami.  But, that doesn't mean that the sequel will be any less
devastating or entertaining to the Tech opponent.  Proving they
learned their road lessons up in West Virginia, look for Beamer's
bashers to shut down Pitt Saturday.  We are, after all, talking
about a team that lost to Notre Dame.  Egad.  Hokies by 10.

Mississippi at Auburn
Everyone knows the story of Cinderella.  Pretty girl, nothing really
going for her socially.  Always pushed around and belittled by
homely, but well-off, step-sisters.  Fairy Godmother appears and
turns her into a princess.  Also turns pumpkin into fine carriage
and bunch of mice into horses.  Ball goes great, meets prince, hook-
up seems certain.  Clock strikes 12 and Cindy books, leaving behind
glass slipper.  Everything goes back like it was, although prince
pursues her via lost slipper.  When they finally meet, it's magic,
things go great.  Step-sisters and step-mother get the shaft, etc.
Well, some folks might say that Ole Miss is the Cinderella of
college football, or at least of the SEC.  They're 5-0 in conference
for the first time SINCE the story of Cinderella was written, or so
it would seem.  But like the story goes, the clock has gotta strike
12, and things have to all fall apart.  Well, I figure that this
game in Auburn has the "12 bells tolling" kind of ring to it.  When
this dance is nearly done, Ole Miss will depart the immediate SEC
West race, and I'm not sure whether they'll leave any glass Nikes
behind at Jordan-Hare.  And, even if they do, I don't figure Tiger
Coach Tommy Tuberville to be the prince charming kind of guy.  He's
no fairy Godmother, either, although "mother" can sometimes be
attached to his verbal modifier(s).  This is the game where the
rubber meets the old road for Ole Miss.  It's been a fairytale so
far, but will become reality from here on.  The Alabama Cats are
going to wreck the old pumpkin carriage, so let's call it Auburn by
10.  And as for any happy endings, the Rebs had best not answer any
knocks at their door in the next couple of weeks.  LSU ain't gonna
do no prince-charming crap neither.  Show's over, folks.

Dear Propheteers,

I'm sorry to have you mailboxes littered with multiple copies of
Prophet today.  Yahoo was going absolutely nuts, and I had to repost
several times.  Apparently, I didn't realize that it was being sent
out, even though Yahoo indicated otherwise.

Anyway, at least it got out, right?

Prophet

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/25/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 365
GAMES CORRECT 275
PCT CORRECT 75.3%
=============================================================
Wednesday, November 5, 2003
Louisville at TCU
Amid all this BCS talk of there being only "one undefeated team",
people seem to have forgotten about TCU.  The Horned Frogs may not
have set the college football world on fire, but neither have they
crashed and burned, or at least they haven't yet.  But, crossing the
BCS Gods is kind of like getting the Mafia mad at you.  In such a
case, one is likely to receive a visit from the local hit man.
Wednesday night in Fort Worth, look for the hatchet man/men to be
wearing Cardinal helmets.  Upsetting TCU while calming the college
football powers that be, call this one L'ullville by 2.

Thursday, November 6, 2003
South Carolina at Arkansas
Coach Houston's Hogs know a thing or two about slow-cooking.  Last
weekend, they won their second 7-overtime game within two years.
One might expect the Razorback chefs to be a little tired after such
an encounter, especially considering the short turnaround Thursday
game here.  But, like they say about ovens, they're probably just
getting warmed up.  We all know that consuming raw poultry is
dangerous, so it might not be a bad thing if Arkansas took their
time to thoroughly roast Lou Holtz's Gamecocks in this contest.
Even IF it takes a little extra time, I see the home folks enjoying
the entree.  In a close one, Arkansas by 3.

Utah State at New Mexico State
This contest just upsets me, as it features a hookup between two
groups of Aggies pushing pitchforks at each other.  With the state
of American farming, you'd think that such animosity between farming
communities would be counterproductive.  But assuming that both
Aggie clans ignore the famous "can't we all get along" plea of
Rodney King, I'd look for the Utah State harvest to be more
plentiful, even "down the road a piece" in New Mexico.   USU by 4.

Friday, November 7, 2003
Colorado State at New Mexico
Sonny Lubick's Rams have been baaaaaaaaaaddd to the Prophet on more
than one occasion in 2003.  But, that doesn't mean that I'm going to
be sheepish about picking them to win a football game.  Biology
would suggest that any meeting of wolves and sheep will turn out a
certain way.  But, as any Theory of Evolution opponent can tell you,
we can always ignore science.   Look for Lubick's little lambs to
nibble victory, even in the Wolves' den, on Friday night.   Colorado
State by 2.

Saturday, November 8, 2003
Penn State at Northwestern
Things looked pretty decent for Joe Paterno and his Knittin' Lions
last weekend.  They had the defending national champs, Ohio State,
on the ropes.  However at the last minute, the Buckeyes pulled their
usual rabbit out of a hat, and stole a win in State College.   It
almost seems as if they (Ohio State AND the football Gods) were
teasing ol' Joe.  Well, that shouldn't be an issue on Saturday.
Northwestern isn't the sort of team that teases anyone.   And, the
even better news is that they're one of the few beatable teams on
State's immediate schedule.  Getting win 339 for JoPa, the Lions
don't lose for the first time in weeks.   Penn State by 3.

Washington at Arizona
It's probably time that someone take the Arizona kitties to the old
animal shelter in Tucson.  Now, when one visits an animal facility,
you always see lots of fine animals who are just down on their luck,
animals that will be loved and adopted.  And, there are always those
cute kittens and puppies, who people can see will become something
special.  Again, adoption material.   As for the Aridzona cats?
Let's just say that they'd best have their wills made out.  If ever
a football team was a candidate for euthanasia, it's Arizona.
Washington by 14.

Georgia Tech at Duke
We all know that present Duke coach...make that interim coach...Ted
Roof is only filling space until season's end.  After that, the Blue
Devil brass will be looking for a new headmaster.   Some folks in
Durham longingly and foolishly hope/believe that ex-coach Steve
Spurrier might be available, assuming he can't survive Daniel Snyder
and the NFL.   But, the truth is that Duke had best set their sights
much, much lower.  Perhaps ex-Georgia Tech coach George O'Leary
might be interested in returning to the college game.  I understand
that he might be working on a master's degree, and is only a few
hundred hours short of getting one.  Then again, academics haven't
ever mattered at Duke, right?  Speaking of academics, it doesn't
take a rocket scientist to see who'll get launched into space in
this game.  Yellowjackets by 21.

Florida State at Clemson
Tommy Bowden grew to manhood well before daddy took over at Florida
State.  And, it's too bad, really, because living IN Florida might
have saved him great problems in his present life.   You see,
Florida's Department of Health and Human Services, other than
misplacing a few hundred foster kids, generally does a pretty good
job of watching out for our state's youth.  They'd have never
tolerated the type of child abuse that Bobby dishes out to Tommy on
an annual basis.   After the first couple of Bowden Bowl beatings,
Daddy would have found himself in the can, and young Tom might just
have a shot at keeping his job.   FWIW, Bobby really SHOULD keep
things moderate up in Tractorland on Saturday night, for his OWN
good.   IF Tommy gets sacked, it's a cinch that Jack Hines, a.k.a.
Tommy's brother-in-law and Bobby's son-in-law, is bound to be
unemployed, too.   If Daddy wins toooooo big, his house is going to
be pretty damned full by New Year's.  And, you know how it is with
family.  Visits are fine, but when they move in.....   Taking the
chance anyway, look for the ol' King of the Road to win another
family spat.   Florida State by 10.

West Virginia at Boston College
This is the game that annually spans the socio-economic spectrum in
the Big East.  On the home side, we have the toney and monied folks
from Chestnut Hill, Boston.  Old-time rich folks.  On the visitor's
sideline, it's Jed Clampett and the Morganton Hillbillies.  What the
Bostonians call a violin, the WVU folks call a fiddle.  You get the
idea, right?  Speaking of fiddles, I don't look for the Mountaineers
to do a lot of fiddlin' around in Beantown during this contest.
Like most jilted members of the Big East, West Virginny isn't too
keen on being left behind by the ACC traitors in Boston, Blacksburg
and Miami.  I see the hillfolk putting a good ol' "show `em"
whuppin' on the Eagles in this contest.  Mountaineers by 12.

Fresno State at Nevada
This game is really just a family reunion.  You've got the wild (the
Nevada Wolfpack) and the domestic (The Fresno State Bulldogs) side
(s) of the canine species, hooking up for a gridiron howlin'.  FSU
West has made a bit of noise on the NCAA scene over the past couple
of years, but things tend to be quieting down a bit around the dog
pound in Fresno.  So for this weekend's growl, I'm going to walk on
the wild side and pick the Wolves to win.   Wild or tame, dogs tend
to be territorial, and I believe that Nevada will protect the home
turf.  Wolfpack by 4.

Arizona State at Stanford
Palo Alto is becoming a Pac Ten version of the La Brea tar pit.
Much like the prehistoric phenomenon down in southern California,
gridiron beasts keep finding their way into Stanford Stadium, only
to become mired in Coach Buddy Teevens' muck.  On THEIR visit, USC
barely escaped with their collective lives.   UCLA didn't fare as
well, succumbing last Saturday.  Look for the Tempe Sun Devils to
encounter the same entombment on their bay area bossa nova THIS
weekend.  It's becoming a "Cardinal" rule to not take Stanford
lightly.   I see another Pac Ten team paying the price for breaking
said rule on Saturday.  In an upset, Stanford by 4.

UCLA at Washington State
The Bruins and Cougars have something more in common than simply
being members of the same conference.  Both UCLA and Wazzoo have
lined up against (one of) the two best football teams in
America....and have been soundly trounced.  So, both clubs know how
far they have to go to reach the pinnacle of college football
success....namely something like 35 or 40 points.  Both teams also
have a surprising loss that few can actually figure.  Last weekend,
the Bruins became "bad news bears" up at Stanford.  And to open the
season, Washington State lost to Notre Dame.  Notre Dame!!  Egad.
This game is truly a crossroad(s) for both teams, and will define
where the remainder of this season leads.  I believe that Washington
State will find their way back onto the road of success Saturday in
Pullman, and might yet get a major bowl bid.  UCLA, on the other
hand, still has another beating to absorb from one of those two good
teams up ahead.  The only "road sign" I see for Coach What's his
name and crew is "Detour".  Washington State by 7.

California at Oregon
Everyone remembers that old kiddie game of duck-duck-duck-GOOSE.
Well, the "extreme" version of that game might go something like
duck-duck-duck-BEAR. For Saturday, I don't believe that the contest
will be child's play, but I do guess that the Berkeley Bears might
just get away with playing games in Autzen Stadium.  This is
something that you never used to be able to say.  The crowd in
Eugene is still feverish, but the football team just seems a little
sick.  Not exactly child's play, but a road win nonetheless,
California by 4.

Missouri at Colorado
Here's another chance for "the best team that Gary Barnette's ever
had" to prove themselves against a Big XII conference member.  The
Buffs have been showing some signs of life lately, and might be
ready to rumble in the Rockies on Saturday.  Their opponent, the
Tigers of Mizzou, may be headed in a slightly different direction.
After starting the season with a bang, they've begun to fade into
the belly of the Big XII north.  Look for home to be where the
Buffalo roam this weekend as, in an upset, Colorado makes a little
late season statement.  CU by 2.

Army at Air Force
This Saturday finds "an Army of one" marching into Colorado Springs
for a contest with the Air Force.  As with most of the Cadets' games
this year, the West Pointers just don't have the numbers to compete
with their opponents.  Unless they can recruit a few ringers on the
trip west, I'd suspect this campaign to be doomed before the first
quarter is over.  Air Force by 17.

Wisconsin at Minnesota
For the earlier part of 2003, both Wisconsin and Minnesota were
traveling first class in college football.  But in mid-October, a
couple of "chokes" redefined where the Gophers and Badgers were
headed with the old pigskin.  Wisconsin's QB was choked by an Ohio
State player, and later injured in another game, leaving Barry's
Rats somewhat less offensive in nature.   And Minnesota simply
choked, coughing up a huge hairball in a fourth-quarter collapse
against Michigan.  Since most Big Ten rivalries involve a contest
for some inanimate object (The battle for the little brown jug, the
old oaken bucket, granny's old enema bag....whatever), perhaps we
should re-christen this contest as the battle for the old hangman's
noose?   If such an idea comes to pass, look for the Gophers to
tighten the old slipknot on the folks from Madison this Saturday in
the Homerdome.  D'oh!!   Minnesota by 8.

Illinois at Indiana
Like I said above, Big Ten rivalries always have some colorful
denotation.  This contest could be the rumble for the lowest ladder
rung, as possibly THE two worst teams in the Big Ten fight it out to
avoid finishing 11th.  It's kind of like a tournament play-in game,
in reverse.  Indiana by 1.

Central Florida at Eastern Michigan
I see where Central Florida is leaving the Mid-America conference to
join Conference USA.  God knows why they'd do such a silly thing.
Having half-baked conference members such as the mighty Hurons is
always good for a "W" or two, so why screw things up?  This game may
actually be a little tighter than you'd expect.  UCF's starting QB
has been kicked off the team for the old "violation of an
unspecified team rule".  Hmmmm, whaddaya think?   Doing dope or
contact with an agent?  Knights by 6.

Navy at Notre Dame
Let's think a little about history.....It's been over forty years
since the Naval Academy defeated Notre Dame in football.  Thinking
back to that day that Roger Staubach and the Middies triumphed,
Khrushchev was the Russian premier and the Cuban missile crisis had
yet to occur, bread was a dime a loaf and gas was 18 cents a gallon,
the worst teams in baseball were the Washington Senators and New
York Mets (some things never change...), you could still purchase a
new Studebaker, even rich people often still had black & white
television sets in their living rooms, football players
with "junior" status would always play another year before turning
pro, the New York Jets were still being called the "Titans", and
Notre Dame was getting ready to switch football coaches.  This
weekend doesn't find us quite ready to see a repeat on that last
item, but Ty Willingham had best not lose this contest to Navy, or
he could find his support "sinking" fast.  Sure this year is shot,
and the Irish are going nowhere.  But, it'd be better for Coach if
the Irish went nowhere without a loss to Navy on their record.
Notre Dame by 3.

Nebraska at Kansas
Losing in a rout to Texas last weekend was truly, in the opinion of
most Huskers, for the birds.  So this Saturday, they can take out
their frustration ON the birds in Lawrence.  KU had some early-
season success, but those days seem far removed.  Most roads in
Kansas are very, very flat.  BUT, I'd expect a bumpy ride for the
home team when an extremely chagrined and annoyed bunch of Big
Redders arrive on Saturday.  Settling last weekend's score, call
this one Nebraska by 20.

Wake Forest at North Carolina
UNC may be the Tar Heels, but it's going to take quite a while
to "heal" what's happened to the kids from Chapel Hill this football
season.  The Heels have seldom been close, and THIS Saturday
afternoon.  Jim Grobe's road sermons haven't been for the football
faint of heart, and I don't see any comfort being had in the home
pews here, either.  Another Tar Heel pasting, call it Wake Forest by
16.

Alabama at Mississippi State
Say what you will about Tide Coach Mike Shula.  He's got Alabama
football team in very select company.  After last weekend's OT loss
to Tennessee, the Tide joins the mighty Duke Blue Devils as the only
team to have lost to Tennessee since early October.  Saturday's trip
to Starkville will allow Brodie Croyle and the troops to mingle in
more common circles, joining the scads of squads that've trumped
Jackie Sherrill's Bulldogs.  Alabama by 12.

Vanderbilt at Florida
Several weeks ago, Gator Coach Zook referred to "noise in the
system", describing the discontent around Gainesville with UF's
early third loss of the season.  Ever since that comment, Florida
has been on the SEC road, and the subsequent upset wins have served
to oil the noisy "system" to a degree that allows a return to the
swamp.  Things should continue to run smoothly for Ron and company,
as the Vandy Commodores are just the lubricant to grease an easy
homecoming win.  I'm only assuming that it's homecoming in
Gainesville, but if it isn't....it ought to be.  Perfect weekend for
the old grads to be in town.  Florida by 20.

USF at East Carolina
Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean" continues to rake in big dough.
And, there's every reason to believe that the forthcoming sequel
will be at least AS rewarding.  However, Pirates haven't been as big
of a hit in 2003 CUSA football.  And, the folks in the Carolinas are
hoping against hope that 2004 does NOT bring a sequel similar to the
season endured at ECU this year.  If movie critics Ebert and Roper
were to rate the Pirate season, it'd definitely be "two thumbs
down".  And speaking of "thumbs down", it's looking that way on
Saturday as the Tampa Bulls visit Greenville.  This is one football
team from the Tampa Bay area that's capable of winning two games in
a row, unlike the world champion Buccaneers.  South Florida by 10.

Tulane at UAB
The Green Wave of Tulane rolls into the steel city, and they're
looking to douse the flaming Blazers of UAB.  Tulane's offensive
firepower might have some extinguishing capacity, but I believe that
their water supply will run out before game's end.  That'll leave
the visitors from New Orleans "all burned up", or as they like to
say in the French Quarter....  "blackened".  UAB by 12.

Texas A&M at Oklahoma
The teams on the Sooners' 2003 schedule have to feel like a bunch of
folks playing Russian roulette with a fully-loaded pistol.  You can
spin the chamber however you so choose...but the end result is
always the same.  Look for another visitor to Norman to go down with
a bang on Saturday.  OU only has a few little hurdles on their trip
to the Sugar Bowl, and Texas A&M isn't one of the bigger ones.  In
fact, they're not even a good speed bump on the Sooner Expressway.
Oklahoma by 24.

Iowa at Purdue
This could be a very interesting game.  Both Iowa and Purdue have
had excellent seasons, and are hoping that top-ten reward(s) come
their way at the campaign's conclusion.   The secret to picking such
an "even" contest will, in my view, be found in comparing each
team's result versus Michigan.  Iowa won and Purdue got smeared.
But beyond that, it's how the games played out that matters.  Iowa
simply wore the Wolverines down, and I believe they have the
capacity to do the same to the Boilermakers.  Memo to Kyle Orcutt
and PU....you'd better get way ahead early, dudes.   And then, hang
on.   It says here they can't do it, even in the friendly vicinity
of West Lafayette.  Iowa by 2.

Texas at Oklahoma State
If Mack Brown and the Texas Longhorns aren't careful, they just
might play themselves into the Big XII title game against the OU
Sooners.  That's what they'd really like, right?  Texas could have
an opportunity, if they just keep winning, to rewrite the recent
sorry history of their rivalry with Oklahoma, perhaps erasing some
of the national embarrassment suffered in numerous Red River routs.
That's what they'd really like, right?  And besides, there's no risk
to the `Horns, were they to keep to winning.  They couldn't possibly
get beaten in the title game any worse than they did in Dallas,
right?  Mack and company just might want to do some long-term
planning on this Big XII title game thing.  But for now, they'll
continue stumbling towards another Stoopes-afied beating in
December.  In a close one, Texas surprisingly beats someone with the
word "Oklahoma" on their jersies.  Longhorns by 2.

Michigan State at Ohio State
Columbus, Ohio plays host to this weekend's meeting of Big
Ten "almost" teams from LAST Saturday.  Ohio State almost got
themselves beaten in Pennsylvania, while MSU almost pulled a miracle
comeback against Michigan.  This weekend's contest is
another "almost" for both teams.  Win, and you're almost a contender
to visit Pasadena.  Lose, and you're almost without hope for a major
bowl.  I almost went against the defending national champs on this
one.  Like I said....almost...  Ohio State by 2.

Tennessee at Miami(FL)
So, the Miami Hurricanes have complained to the Big East
about "cheap shots" taken at their center by Virginia Tech player
(s).  Miami is complaining about cheap shots.  Whew.  Just for the
record, UM has never been famous for being choirboys themselves,
right?   This has got to be a joke.  And again just for the record,
isn't the Big East in the process of suing the University of Miami?
In light of that, let's just say that I'm SURE the Big East will
take a good hard look at Miami's complaint.  Ha ha ha.  The
Volunteers of Tennessee might present, on most weeks, a decent
challenge for the Hurricanes.  UT's balanced attack is the sort that
plays well against Miami.  But THIS Saturday, Miami will be looking
to get even against somebody/anybody.  In advance, Tennessee might
want to ask the Big East to take a look at the cheap shots in THIS
game, too.  Miami by 14.

Virginia Tech at Pittsburgh
I don't know about you folks, but I watched and enjoyed last year's
Fox trash-series, "Joe Millionaire".  And although it's fashionable
to trash the sequel, I'm glued to the set every Monday this year,
watching "The Next Joe Millionaire".  I feel the same way about this
Virginia Tech game.  There is NO way I'll be any more entertained by
a Hokie victory than I was during last Saturday's vivisection of
Miami.  But, that doesn't mean that the sequel will be any less
devastating or entertaining to the Tech opponent.  Proving they
learned their road lessons up in West Virginia, look for Beamer's
bashers to shut down Pitt Saturday.  We are, after all, talking
about a team that lost to Notre Dame.  Egad.  Hokies by 10.

Mississippi at Auburn
Everyone knows the story of Cinderella.  Pretty girl, nothing really
going for her socially.  Always pushed around and belittled by
homely, but well-off, step-sisters.  Fairy Godmother appears and
turns her into a princess.  Also turns pumpkin into fine carriage
and bunch of mice into horses.  Ball goes great, meets prince, hook-
up seems certain.  Clock strikes 12 and Cindy books, leaving behind
glass slipper.  Everything goes back like it was, although prince
pursues her via lost slipper.  When they finally meet, it's magic,
things go great.  Step-sisters and step-mother get the shaft, etc.
Well, some folks might say that Ole Miss is the Cinderella of
college football, or at least of the SEC.  They're 5-0 in conference
for the first time SINCE the story of Cinderella was written, or so
it would seem.  But like the story goes, the clock has gotta strike
12, and things have to all fall apart.  Well, I figure that this
game in Auburn has the "12 bells tolling" kind of ring to it.  When
this dance is nearly done, Ole Miss will depart the immediate SEC
West race, and I'm not sure whether they'll leave any glass Nikes
behind at Jordan-Hare.  And, even if they do, I don't figure Tiger
Coach Tommy Tuberville to be the prince charming kind of guy.  He's
no fairy Godmother, either, although "mother" can sometimes be
attached to his verbal modifier(s).  This is the game where the
rubber meets the old road for Ole Miss.  It's been a fairytale so
far, but will become reality from here on.  The Alabama Cats are
going to wreck the old pumpkin carriage, so let's call it Auburn by
10.  And as for any happy endings, the Rebs had best not answer any
knocks at their door in the next couple of weeks.  LSU ain't gonna
do no prince-charming crap neither.  Show's over, folks.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/25/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 365
GAMES CORRECT 275
PCT CORRECT  75.3%
=============================================================
Wednesday, November 5, 2003
Louisville at TCU
Amid all this BCS talk of there being only "one undefeated team",
people seem to have forgotten about TCU.  The Horned Frogs may not
have set the college football world on fire, but neither have they
crashed and burned, or at least they haven't yet.  But, crossing the
BCS Gods is kind of like getting the Mafia mad at you.  In such a
case, one is likely to receive a visit from the local hit man.
Wednesday night in Fort Worth, look for the hatchet man/men to be
wearing Cardinal helmets.  Upsetting TCU while calming the college
football powers that be, call this one L'ullville by 2.

Thursday, November 6, 2003
South Carolina at Arkansas
Coach Houston's Hogs know a thing or two about slow-cooking.  Last
weekend, they won their second 7-overtime game within two years.
One might expect the Razorback chefs to be a little tired after such
an encounter, especially considering the short turnaround Thursday
game here.  But, like they say about ovens, they're probably just
getting warmed up.  We all know that consuming raw poultry is
dangerous, so it might not be a bad thing if Arkansas took their
time to thoroughly roast Lou Holtz's Gamecocks in this contest.
Even IF it takes a little extra time, I see the home folks enjoying
the entree.  In a close one, Arkansas by 3.

Utah State at New Mexico State
This contest just upsets me, as it features a hookup between two
groups of Aggies pushing pitchforks at each other.  With the state
of American farming, you'd think that such animosity between farming
communities would be counterproductive.  But assuming that both
Aggie clans ignore the famous "can't we all get along" plea of
Rodney King, I'd look for the Utah State harvest to be more
plentiful, even "down the road a piece" in New Mexico.   USU by 4.

Friday, November 7, 2003
Colorado State at New Mexico
Sonny Lubick's Rams have been baaaaaaaaaaddd to the Prophet on more
than one occasion in 2003.  But, that doesn't mean that I'm going to
be sheepish about picking them to win a football game.  Biology
would suggest that any meeting of wolves and sheep will turn out a
certain way.  But, as any Theory of Evolution opponent can tell you,
we can always ignore science.   Look for Lubick's little lambs to
nibble victory, even in the Wolves' den, on Friday night.   Colorado
State by 2.

Saturday, November 8, 2003
Penn State at Northwestern
Things looked pretty decent for Joe Paterno and his Knittin' Lions
last weekend.  They had the defending national champs, Ohio State,
on the ropes.  However at the last minute, the Buckeyes pulled their
usual rabbit out of a hat, and stole a win in State College.   It
almost seems as if they (Ohio State AND the football Gods) were
teasing ol' Joe.  Well, that shouldn't be an issue on Saturday.
Northwestern isn't the sort of team that teases anyone.   And, the
even better news is that they're one of the few beatable teams on
State's immediate schedule.  Getting win 339 for JoPa, the Lions
don't lose for the first time in weeks.   Penn State by 3.

Washington at Arizona
It's probably time that someone take the Arizona kitties to the old
animal shelter in Tucson.  Now, when one visits an animal facility,
you always see lots of fine animals who are just down on their luck,
animals that will be loved and adopted.  And, there are always those
cute kittens and puppies, who people can see will become something
special.  Again, adoption material.   As for the Aridzona cats?
Let's just say that they'd best have their wills made out.  If ever
a football team was a candidate for euthanasia, it's Arizona.
Washington by 14.

Georgia Tech at Duke
We all know that present Duke coach...make that interim coach...Ted
Roof is only filling space until season's end.  After that, the Blue
Devil brass will be looking for a new headmaster.   Some folks in
Durham longingly and foolishly hope/believe that ex-coach Steve
Spurrier might be available, assuming he can't survive Daniel Snyder
and the NFL.   But, the truth is that Duke had best set their sights
much, much lower.  Perhaps ex-Georgia Tech coach George O'Leary
might be interested in returning to the college game.  I understand
that he might be working on a master's degree, and is only a few
hundred hours short of getting one.  Then again, academics haven't
ever mattered at Duke, right?  Speaking of academics, it doesn't
take a rocket scientist to see who'll get launched into space in
this game.  Yellowjackets by 21.

Florida State at Clemson
Tommy Bowden grew to manhood well before daddy took over at Florida
State.  And, it's too bad, really, because living IN Florida might
have saved him great problems in his present life.   You see,
Florida's Department of Health and Human Services, other than
misplacing a few hundred foster kids, generally does a pretty good
job of watching out for our state's youth.  They'd have never
tolerated the type of child abuse that Bobby dishes out to Tommy on
an annual basis.   After the first couple of Bowden Bowl beatings,
Daddy would have found himself in the can, and young Tom might just
have a shot at keeping his job.   FWIW, Bobby really SHOULD keep
things moderate up in Tractorland on Saturday night, for his OWN
good.   IF Tommy gets sacked, it's a cinch that Jack Hines, a.k.a.
Tommy's brother-in-law and Bobby's son-in-law, is bound to be
unemployed, too.   If Daddy wins toooooo big, his house is going to
be pretty damned full by New Year's.  And, you know how it is with
family.  Visits are fine, but when they move in.....   Taking the
chance anyway, look for the ol' King of the Road to win another
family spat.   Florida State by 10.

West Virginia at Boston College
This is the game that annually spans the socio-economic spectrum in
the Big East.  On the home side, we have the toney and monied folks
from Chestnut Hill, Boston.  Old-time rich folks.  On the visitor's
sideline, it's Jed Clampett and the Morganton Hillbillies.  What the
Bostonians call a violin, the WVU folks call a fiddle.  You get the
idea, right?  Speaking of fiddles, I don't look for the Mountaineers
to do a lot of fiddlin' around in Beantown during this contest.
Like most jilted members of the Big East, West Virginny isn't too
keen on being left behind by the ACC traitors in Boston, Blacksburg
and Miami.  I see the hillfolk putting a good ol' "show `em"
whuppin' on the Eagles in this contest.  Mountaineers by 12.

Fresno State at Nevada
This game is really just a family reunion.  You've got the wild (the
Nevada Wolfpack) and the domestic (The Fresno State Bulldogs) side
(s) of the canine species, hooking up for a gridiron howlin'.  FSU
West has made a bit of noise on the NCAA scene over the past couple
of years, but things tend to be quieting down a bit around the dog
pound in Fresno.  So for this weekend's growl, I'm going to walk on
the wild side and pick the Wolves to win.   Wild or tame, dogs tend
to be territorial, and I believe that Nevada will protect the home
turf.  Wolfpack by 4.

Arizona State at Stanford
Palo Alto is becoming a Pac Ten version of the La Brea tar pit.
Much like the prehistoric phenomenon down in southern California,
gridiron beasts keep finding their way into Stanford Stadium, only
to become mired in Coach Buddy Teevens' muck.  On THEIR visit, USC
barely escaped with their collective lives.   UCLA didn't fare as
well, succumbing last Saturday.  Look for the Tempe Sun Devils to
encounter the same entombment on their bay area bossa nova THIS
weekend.  It's becoming a "Cardinal" rule to not take Stanford
lightly.   I see another Pac Ten team paying the price for breaking
said rule on Saturday.  In an upset, Stanford by 4.

UCLA at Washington State
The Bruins and Cougars have something more in common than simply
being members of the same conference.  Both UCLA and Wazzoo have
lined up against (one of) the two best football teams in
America....and have been soundly trounced.  So, both clubs know how
far they have to go to reach the pinnacle of college football
success....namely something like 35 or 40 points.  Both teams also
have a surprising loss that few can actually figure.  Last weekend,
the Bruins became "bad news bears" up at Stanford.  And to open the
season, Washington State lost to Notre Dame.  Notre Dame!!  Egad.
This game is truly a crossroad(s) for both teams, and will define
where the remainder of this season leads.  I believe that Washington
State will find their way back onto the road of success Saturday in
Pullman, and might yet get a major bowl bid.  UCLA, on the other
hand, still has another beating to absorb from one of those two good
teams up ahead.  The only "road sign" I see for Coach What's his
name and crew is "Detour".  Washington State by 7.

California at Oregon
Everyone remembers that old kiddie game of duck-duck-duck-GOOSE.
Well, the "extreme" version of that game might go something like
duck-duck-duck-BEAR. For Saturday, I don't believe that the contest
will be child's play, but I do guess that the Berkeley Bears might
just get away with playing games in Autzen Stadium.  This is
something that you never used to be able to say.  The crowd in
Eugene is still feverish, but the football team just seems a little
sick.  Not exactly child's play, but a road win nonetheless,
California by 4.

Missouri at Colorado
Here's another chance for "the best team that Gary Barnette's ever
had" to prove themselves against a Big XII conference member.  The
Buffs have been showing some signs of life lately, and might be
ready to rumble in the Rockies on Saturday.  Their opponent, the
Tigers of Mizzou, may be headed in a slightly different direction.
After starting the season with a bang, they've begun to fade into
the belly of the Big XII north.  Look for home to be where the
Buffalo roam this weekend as, in an upset, Colorado makes a little
late season statement.  CU by 2.

Army at Air Force
This Saturday finds "an Army of one" marching into Colorado Springs
for a contest with the Air Force.  As with most of the Cadets' games
this year, the West Pointers just don't have the numbers to compete
with their opponents.  Unless they can recruit a few ringers on the
trip west, I'd suspect this campaign to be doomed before the first
quarter is over.  Air Force by 17.

Wisconsin at Minnesota
For the earlier part of 2003, both Wisconsin and Minnesota were
traveling first class in college football.  But in mid-October, a
couple of "chokes" redefined where the Gophers and Badgers were
headed with the old pigskin.  Wisconsin's QB was choked by an Ohio
State player, and later injured in another game, leaving Barry's
Rats somewhat less offensive in nature.   And Minnesota simply
choked, coughing up a huge hairball in a fourth-quarter collapse
against Michigan.  Since most Big Ten rivalries involve a contest
for some inanimate object (The battle for the little brown jug, the
old oaken bucket, granny's old enema bag....whatever), perhaps we
should re-christen this contest as the battle for the old hangman's
noose?   If such an idea comes to pass, look for the Gophers to
tighten the old slipknot on the folks from Madison this Saturday in
the Homerdome.  D'oh!!   Minnesota by 8.

Illinois at Indiana
Like I said above, Big Ten rivalries always have some colorful
denotation.  This contest could be the rumble for the lowest ladder
rung, as possibly THE two worst teams in the Big Ten fight it out to
avoid finishing 11th.  It's kind of like a tournament play-in game,
in reverse.  Indiana by 1.

Central Florida at Eastern Michigan
I see where Central Florida is leaving the Mid-America conference to
join Conference USA.  God knows why they'd do such a silly thing.
Having half-baked conference members such as the mighty Hurons is
always good for a "W" or two, so why screw things up?  This game may
actually be a little tighter than you'd expect.  UCF's starting QB
has been kicked off the team for the old "violation of an
unspecified team rule".  Hmmmm, whaddaya think?   Doing dope or
contact with an agent?  Knights by 6.

Navy at Notre Dame
Let's think a little about history.....It's been over forty years
since the Naval Academy defeated Notre Dame in football.  Thinking
back to that day that Roger Staubach and the Middies triumphed,
Khrushchev was the Russian premier and the Cuban missile crisis had
yet to occur, bread was a dime a loaf and gas was 18 cents a gallon,
the worst teams in baseball were the Washington Senators and New
York Mets (some things never change...), you could still purchase a
new Studebaker, even rich people often still had black & white
television sets in their living rooms, football players
with "junior" status would always play another year before turning
pro, the New York Jets were still being called the "Titans", and
Notre Dame was getting ready to switch football coaches.  This
weekend doesn't find us quite ready to see a repeat on that last
item, but Ty Willingham had best not lose this contest to Navy, or
he could find his support "sinking" fast.  Sure this year is shot,
and the Irish are going nowhere.  But, it'd be better for Coach if
the Irish went nowhere without a loss to Navy on their record.
Notre Dame by 3.

Nebraska at Kansas
Losing in a rout to Texas last weekend was truly, in the opinion of
most Huskers, for the birds.  So this Saturday, they can take out
their frustration ON the birds in Lawrence.  KU had some early-
season success, but those days seem far removed.  Most roads in
Kansas are very, very flat.  BUT, I'd expect a bumpy ride for the
home team when an extremely chagrined and annoyed bunch of Big
Redders arrive on Saturday.  Settling last weekend's score, call
this one Nebraska by 20.

Wake Forest at North Carolina
UNC may be the Tar Heels, but it's going to take quite a while
to "heal" what's happened to the kids from Chapel Hill this football
season.  The Heels have seldom been close, and THIS Saturday
afternoon.  Jim Grobe's road sermons haven't been for the football
faint of heart, and I don't see any comfort being had in the home
pews here, either.  Another Tar Heel pasting, call it Wake Forest by
16.

Alabama at Mississippi State
Say what you will about Tide Coach Mike Shula.  He's got Alabama
football team in very select company.  After last weekend's OT loss
to Tennessee, the Tide joins the mighty Duke Blue Devils as the only
team to have lost to Tennessee since early October.  Saturday's trip
to Starkville will allow Brodie Croyle and the troops to mingle in
more common circles, joining the scads of squads that've trumped
Jackie Sherrill's Bulldogs.  Alabama by 12.

Vanderbilt at Florida
Several weeks ago, Gator Coach Zook referred to "noise in the
system", describing the discontent around Gainesville with UF's
early third loss of the season.  Ever since that comment, Florida
has been on the SEC road, and the subsequent upset wins have served
to oil the noisy "system" to a degree that allows a return to the
swamp.  Things should continue to run smoothly for Ron and company,
as the Vandy Commodores are just the lubricant to grease an easy
homecoming win.  I'm only assuming that it's homecoming in
Gainesville, but if it isn't....it ought to be.  Perfect weekend for
the old grads to be in town.  Florida by 20.

USF at East Carolina
Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean" continues to rake in big dough.
And, there's every reason to believe that the forthcoming sequel
will be at least AS rewarding.  However, Pirates haven't been as big
of a hit in 2003 CUSA football.  And, the folks in the Carolinas are
hoping against hope that 2004 does NOT bring a sequel similar to the
season endured at ECU this year.  If movie critics Ebert and Roper
were to rate the Pirate season, it'd definitely be "two thumbs
down".  And speaking of "thumbs down", it's looking that way on
Saturday as the Tampa Bulls visit Greenville.  This is one football
team from the Tampa Bay area that's capable of winning two games in
a row, unlike the world champion Buccaneers.  South Florida by 10.

Tulane at UAB
The Green Wave of Tulane rolls into the steel city, and they're
looking to douse the flaming Blazers of UAB.  Tulane's offensive
firepower might have some extinguishing capacity, but I believe that
their water supply will run out before game's end.  That'll leave
the visitors from New Orleans "all burned up", or as they like to
say in the French Quarter....  "blackened".  UAB by 12.

Texas A&M at Oklahoma
The teams on the Sooners' 2003 schedule have to feel like a bunch of
folks playing Russian roulette with a fully-loaded pistol.  You can
spin the chamber however you so choose...but the end result is
always the same.  Look for another visitor to Norman to go down with
a bang on Saturday.  OU only has a few little hurdles on their trip
to the Sugar Bowl, and Texas A&M isn't one of the bigger ones.  In
fact, they're not even a good speed bump on the Sooner Expressway.
Oklahoma by 24.

Iowa at Purdue
This could be a very interesting game.  Both Iowa and Purdue have
had excellent seasons, and are hoping that top-ten reward(s) come
their way at the campaign's conclusion.   The secret to picking such
an "even" contest will, in my view, be found in comparing each
team's result versus Michigan.  Iowa won and Purdue got smeared.
But beyond that, it's how the games played out that matters.  Iowa
simply wore the Wolverines down, and I believe they have the
capacity to do the same to the Boilermakers.  Memo to Kyle Orcutt
and PU....you'd better get way ahead early, dudes.   And then, hang
on.   It says here they can't do it, even in the friendly vicinity
of West Lafayette.  Iowa by 2.

Texas at Oklahoma State
If Mack Brown and the Texas Longhorns aren't careful, they just
might play themselves into the Big XII title game against the OU
Sooners.  That's what they'd really like, right?  Texas could have
an opportunity, if they just keep winning, to rewrite the recent
sorry history of their rivalry with Oklahoma, perhaps erasing some
of the national embarrassment suffered in numerous Red River routs.
That's what they'd really like, right?  And besides, there's no risk
to the `Horns, were they to keep to winning.  They couldn't possibly
get beaten in the title game any worse than they did in Dallas,
right?  Mack and company just might want to do some long-term
planning on this Big XII title game thing.  But for now, they'll
continue stumbling towards another Stoopes-afied beating in
December.  In a close one, Texas surprisingly beats someone with the
word "Oklahoma" on their jersies.  Longhorns by 2.

Michigan State at Ohio State
Columbus, Ohio plays host to this weekend's meeting of Big
Ten "almost" teams from LAST Saturday.  Ohio State almost got
themselves beaten in Pennsylvania, while MSU almost pulled a miracle
comeback against Michigan.  This weekend's contest is
another "almost" for both teams.  Win, and you're almost a contender
to visit Pasadena.  Lose, and you're almost without hope for a major
bowl.  I almost went against the defending national champs on this
one.  Like I said....almost...  Ohio State by 2.

Tennessee at Miami(FL)
So, the Miami Hurricanes have complained to the Big East
about "cheap shots" taken at their center by Virginia Tech player
(s).  Miami is complaining about cheap shots.  Whew.  Just for the
record, UM has never been famous for being choirboys themselves,
right?   This has got to be a joke.  And again just for the record,
isn't the Big East in the process of suing the University of Miami?
In light of that, let's just say that I'm SURE the Big East will
take a good hard look at Miami's complaint.  Ha ha ha.  The
Volunteers of Tennessee might present, on most weeks, a decent
challenge for the Hurricanes.  UT's balanced attack is the sort that
plays well against Miami.  But THIS Saturday, Miami will be looking
to get even against somebody/anybody.  In advance, Tennessee might
want to ask the Big East to take a look at the cheap shots in THIS
game, too.  Miami by 14.

Virginia Tech at Pittsburgh
I don't know about you folks, but I watched and enjoyed last year's
Fox trash-series, "Joe Millionaire".  And although it's fashionable
to trash the sequel, I'm glued to the set every Monday this year,
watching "The Next Joe Millionaire".  I feel the same way about this
Virginia Tech game.  There is NO way I'll be any more entertained by
a Hokie victory than I was during last Saturday's vivisection of
Miami.  But, that doesn't mean that the sequel will be any less
devastating or entertaining to the Tech opponent.  Proving they
learned their road lessons up in West Virginia, look for Beamer's
bashers to shut down Pitt Saturday.  We are, after all, talking
about a team that lost to Notre Dame.  Egad.  Hokies by 10.

Mississippi at Auburn
Everyone knows the story of Cinderella.  Pretty girl, nothing really
going for her socially.  Always pushed around and belittled by
homely, but well-off, step-sisters.  Fairy Godmother appears and
turns her into a princess.  Also turns pumpkin into fine carriage
and bunch of mice into horses.  Ball goes great, meets prince, hook-
up seems certain.  Clock strikes 12 and Cindy books, leaving behind
glass slipper.  Everything goes back like it was, although prince
pursues her via lost slipper.  When they finally meet, it's magic,
things go great.  Step-sisters and step-mother get the shaft, etc.
Well, some folks might say that Ole Miss is the Cinderella of
college football, or at least of the SEC.  They're 5-0 in conference
for the first time SINCE the story of Cinderella was written, or so
it would seem.  But like the story goes, the clock has gotta strike
12, and things have to all fall apart.  Well, I figure that this
game in Auburn has the "12 bells tolling" kind of ring to it.  When
this dance is nearly done, Ole Miss will depart the immediate SEC
West race, and I'm not sure whether they'll leave any glass Nikes
behind at Jordan-Hare.  And, even if they do, I don't figure Tiger
Coach Tommy Tuberville to be the prince charming kind of guy.  He's
no fairy Godmother, either, although "mother" can sometimes be
attached to his verbal modifier(s).  This is the game where the
rubber meets the old road for Ole Miss.  It's been a fairytale so
far, but will become reality from here on.  The Alabama Cats are
going to wreck the old pumpkin carriage, so let's call it Auburn by
10.  And as for any happy endings, the Rebs had best not answer any
knocks at their door in the next couple of weeks.  LSU ain't gonna
do no prince-charming crap neither.  Show's over, folks.

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http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
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THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/25/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 334
GAMES CORRECT 251
PCT CORRECT 75.1%

=============================================================

Thursday, October 30, 2003
Boise State at BYU
The Provo Cougars have done ol' Prophet bad lately.  I keep picking
them to lose, only to be undone by a close BYU win.  Perhaps I have
underestimated BYU's prowess on the gridiron?? If so, then I'll make
amends by saying publicly, here and now, that the Cougars are not
the completely mediocre bunch that I'd previously judged them to
be.  That being said, we now turn our attention to the Potato State
Broncos galloping into Edwards Stadium on Thursday night.  I'll
admit that I've always taken BSU lightly, and it probably has
something to do with that hideous blue playing field back home in
Idaho.  But, this year's edition of the Broncos are definitely
horses of another color, and they've been stampeding opponent after
opponent.  In fact, I believe Boise State to be one of the best-kept
secrets in college football.  Let's just say that after Thursday,
it's going to be less of a mystery to the nation.  Increasing the
volume on this horse whispering to a shout, let's say Broncos by 12.

Friday, October 31, 2003
Cincinnati at South Florida
....and in this week's edition of the ESPN Friday Night High School
game of the week, we find the USF Bulls hosting the Cincinnati
Bearcats.   Ha ha, just kidding C-USA fans.  Whenever I can't think
of anything really funny, I'll just opt for mean-spirited ridicule.
I WAS going to say something about Cinncy "shooting the bull", but
that wouldn't fit, as I think that old backwards FSU (U-S-F
backwards is F-S-U, get it?) will corral a win at home.  Call it USF
by 3, maybe 31-28.

Saturday, November 1, 2003
Illinois at Iowa
The Fighting Illini have a war party headed into Iowa City on
Saturday, and fighting is a foregone conclusion.  However, I find it
very unlikely that the Champaign Chieftains will succeed in adding
many Hawkeye feathers to their paltry 2003 war bonnet(s).  Look for
the Iowa buzzards to do the Big Ten scalping during this shoot-
out.   Iowa by 16.

Utah at Air Force
Coach Urban Meyer brings his tribe of mighty Utes into the lovely
springs of Colorado, expecting to initiate Mountain West war with
the Air Force Falcons.  And while the USAFA boys may not fully
understand Utah's brand of "urban" warfare, they'll have a ready
military solution to the dilemma.  Can you say indescriminate
civilian bombing?  Utah's tough, but in Colorado, control of the
skies equals control of the battlefield.  And, who knows more about
controlling skies than the Air Force?  Look for a good game and a 6
point Falcon victory.

Virginia at NC State
Generally, stories with a surprise ending are valued in literary
circles as being special.  But, the same is not true in college
football.  The storied career of one Philip Rivers is drawing to a
close at NC State, but the final chapters aren't playing out quite
as the Wolfpack library guild would have wished.  The logical ending
had NC State continuing to build on the earlier Amato-Rivers success
in Raleigh, perhaps culminating with a 2003 ACC championship and BCS
bid.  Then, there was also the potential post script of a Heisman
Trophy.  But, due to injury, there have been a few pages missing
from the standard happy ending that was envisioned, and the
surprising twist that seems to have developed has State slogging
into an obscure bowl game and a top-thirty ranking at best.  And
Philip??  Many believe that the closest he'll get to New York in
December will be watching the Giants play the Vikings on
television...or to keep up the "literary" vein of this pick, reading
about it in the newspaper.   The Virginia Cavaliers have had THEIR
share of injury issues in 2003 as well.  Numerous games have been
played without editorial support of QB Matt Schaub or RB Wali
Lundy.  So to sum up, this is a battle of what might have been.
This is one more chance to write the great college football
novel...or more accurately, "a" good college football novel.  It
ain't going to be good enough for a Pulitzer, but the hardcover
effort of Al Groh's Cavaliers will "write" many of this season's
wrongs.  Virginia by 2.

Clemson at Wake Forest
Last weekend, Jim Grobe and his Wake Forest Preachers were a part of
history, supplying Bobby Bowden with his record 339th major college
victory.  This weekend offers another chance to help a Bowden pad
the old won-loss record, albeit on a much smaller stage.  But,
something tells me that Clemson and Tommy-Boy might have a
little "daddy on the brain" problem Saturday.  Bowden Bowl V is just
around the corner, and if the Tigers aren't really careful this
Saturday night, the annual dad and lad tussle will mean even less
than it already does.  Close, but no cigar for the holy men.  In a
squeaker, Clemson by 2.

South Carolina at Mississippi
Perhaps the greatest miracle in a season of weirdness would have to
involve the Ole Miss Rebels.  Eli Manning and company opened 2003
with a 1-1 slate.  They barely beat Vanderbilt, and then stormed
from ahead to lose to Memphis.  Things looked to again be typically
mediocre in Oxford.  Then, the Rebel timing improved.  They caught
Florida BEFORE the Gators had decided to play as a team.  They
hooked up with Arkansas AFTER the Hogs' flaws had been exposed.
Alabama came calling right AFTER Tide coach Mike Shula had deep-
sixed most of his available quarterbacking talent.  Suddenly,
Mississippi was playing teams either BEFORE they had their "stuff"
together, or AFTER said "stuff" had hit the fan.  And as any great
quarterback knows, timing is what matters.  Now speaking of time,
Gamecock coach Lou Holtz has seen lots of time go past in his
career.  If he had any clue as to what's making his Chickens tick
this year, I'd be certain Ole Miss was a done deal on Saturday.  But
with the Gamecocks, Lou is as clueless as the rest of us.  And
speaking of clueless, I'll confess that I really have no viable idea
as to how Ole Miss is still undefeated in the SEC, timing or not.
They're just not really any good.  However, conventional wisdom has
always decreed that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck,
then it must be a duck.  Same thing with winning....somehow, the
Oxford gentry has found a way to walk the winning walk in their
J.Crew chinos.  Now, we all know that LSU is going to beat the crap
out of the Rebs when that inevitable SEC-West defining moment
occurs.  But until then, I'm not going to rain on a parade just
because I don't understand it.  Somehow and someway, here's another
conference win for Eli and pals.  Mississippi by 5, call it 28-23.

North Carolina at Maryland
Ralph's reptiles could be an even slower-moving target for UNC on
Saturday in College Park.  The injury to starting Terp QB Scott
O'Brien has put the turtle "O" into an even lower gear.  The time
would seem ripe for the Tar Heels to end their recent losing
streak.  However, I'm assuming that the ACC will be sending
officials to referee this game.  And, that's UNC's biggest problem
in recent weeks.  They're playing their opponents tight, but they
can't beat the refs.  No reason to see anything being done about
that on Saturday, either.  Look for Maryland and the zebras to
continue the trail of tears for the Carolinians.   Terrapins by 7,
call it 24-17.

Central Florida at West Virginia
After last Thursday's huge upset win over Virginia Tech, you'd have
to be worried about the let-down factor for West Virginia.  And to a
degree, I'm sure that the effort and performance from the
Mountaineers won't approach the fever pitch of last Thursday's
show.  But, I do believe that the hillbillies will have a few sips
left in that big bottle of whup-ass they opened up in the Hokies'
honor.  And, Whup-Ass is a lot like Brylcreem...a little dab will do
ya!  Mountaineers by 16.

Pittsburgh at Boston College
The administration at BC certainly had their reasons for choosing to
abandon the Big East.  And, since the decision was announced, some
other incentives for moving to the ACC have been cropping.  First up
was the beating absorbed in the Carrier Dome two weekends ago, as
the Syracuse fans chanted A-C-C in mockery.  Look for the goings-on
in Chestnut Hill on Saturday to further support the intense wisdom
of leaving the Big East.  Pitt should continue the jilted Big East's
vendetta against the Eagles, let's call it Panthers by 8.

Tulane at Navy
Green Wave QB J.P. Losman is on almost every list for post-season
awards.  Johnny Unitas, Davey O'Brien....all of those trophies are
mentioned in the same breath with J.P.'s name.  Now mind you, he's
far from being a front-runner.  But still...it begs the question
that I'm about to ask.  How in the hell can Tulane have such a
crummy record with so talented a field general?  Well, as our Navy
pals can tell you, even the biggest battleship needs to be
defended.  And as they'd say both at the end of a trial and at
Tulane, "the defense rests".  This is actually a game that the Wave
could win on the road, but they'll have to prevent more points than
their offense is going to score.  And, I'm not convinced of that
event happening.  So, look for some choppy waters around Annapolis,
due to the influx of a Green Wave from down south.  But in the end,
the Middies should find safe harbor with a close win.  Navy by 6.

Colorado State at Wyoming
The Cowboys of Wyoming are headed to another Laramie round-up this
Saturday, only there's going to be a switch of mammal being
corralled.   The old home paddock is going to be infested with
sheep, rather than the usual bovine barter.  And, that's one reason
that things are bound to get woolly this weekend.  Like a scratchy
sweater, Sonny Lubick's sheep are the types to really get you hot
under the old collar.  So, look for the Cowboys to get chafed by
more than their chaps on Saturday.  Colorado State by 10.

Arizona at Oregon State
The Corvallis Beaver patrol choked away a big win last weekend.  For
most of a quirky game, OSU had the lead on highly-rated and
moderately-regarded Washington State, only to succumb at contest's
end.  The Beavers' opponent for this week, the Mildkitties of
Arizona, haven't had any similar experience during most of their
2002 campaign.  Not only has Arizona failed to blow any leads,
they've, for the most part, not even had any leads.  Look for Oregon
State to seal the deal on Saturday.  These guys from Aridzona are
one club that'll stay down once you get them there.  Oregon State by
14.

UCLA at Stanford
Honest to God, I hate the Pac Ten.  It's the strangest and most
unpredictable of all major conferences.  Upsets are like nuclear
proliferation.  You KNOW it's going to happen, it's just nearly
impossible to predict where.  So, I'll make the following
disclaimer...even though the Bruins have improved under What's-his-
name, I KNOW they've got one more silly loss in there somewhere.
I'm sooooo tempted to pick it for this weekend, but I just don't
trust Stanford.  It probably has something to do with the liberal
nature of the host university.  So, staying conservative, let's go
with a recently proven winner, while expecting the worst.  UCLA by 3.

Oregon at Washington
Ducks and Dogs.  DD.  Now, generally, anything involving the
letters "DD", as in double-D, will tend to interest the average, red-
blooded American male.  But before we get up front of ourselves
here, neither of these teams can be considered truly top notch in
the spastic Pac Ten.  It's not that either Washington or Oregon have
performed as total boobs.  But, to paraphrase...you just don't know
if or when they're "stuffing", so to speak.  As with anything out
west and up north, anything can and might happen.  But, I do believe
that the Huskies home crowd support will snap the cups, oops I mean
pups, into a decent Saturday showing.  Downing the Dux, call this
one UW by 6.

Northwestern at Purdue
After carefully reviewing last weekend's games, I have found a
serious inconsistency, something that might warrant a federal
investigation.  Purdue, or at least the team wearing the Purdue
unis, made total putzes of themselves, rolling over in the Ann Arbor
big house.  Northwestern, or at least the team wearing the Wildcat
garb, totally stifled the semi-respectable Wisconsin Badgers in
Evanston.  I smell a cover-up.  Do you suppose that Purdue and
Northwestern switched teams for last weekend?  There has to be a
gambling angle to all of this.  As for this Saturday, look for the
Boilermakers to bounce back with a 14 point home win, assuming that
Kyle Orcutt and company come out wearing black and gold.  Purdue, 28-
14.

Michigan at Michigan State
The Michigan Wolverines have given us the entire spectrum in
performance this year.  They've shown quintessential moments of
glory, trashing the two best teams in Indiana by a combined score of
79-3.  And, they've sunk to unfathomable depths, losing to the Ditzy
Ducks of Oregon.  These incredible swings mimic, to some degree, the
sort of personality variation often associated with heavy substance
abusers.  And, that's where MSU Spartan QB Jeff Smoker comes in.
Jeff seems to have successfully dried up and out, and is leading his
Spartans with a (shall we say) "Rosy" fervor.  If anyone will know
how to deal with the intense highs and lows that can be expected
from their Wolverine foe(s), it'll be Jeffrey.  Look for big Blue to
need rehabbing after a Saturday with Smoker and company.  State by 3.

Baylor at Kansas State
The sight of the hated Kansas Jayhawks flying into town last weekend
was just the tonic to heal the sickly 2003 Wildcat program.  KU's
visit had the hometown K-Staters doing the Prince thing,
namely "partying like it was (back in) 1999".   Look for this
weekend's Baylor Bear-call to continue the fun and games in
Manhatten.  Getting better while taking another gulp of Big XII
conference vitamin(s), State wins big.  Wildcats by 28.

Louisiana-Monroe at Auburn
Louisiana calls itself "the Sportsman's Paradise", but it was
anything but paradise last Saturday for Tommy Tuberville and his
Tigers.  Auburn absorbed a cajun whippin' of a degree not seen
since, er....well.... September.  Actually, if we clear away some of
Auburn's recent successes, the Tigers HAVE gotten their fannies
kicked three times this year.  None of them were "just losses", they
were total beatings.  So, it appears that Auburn is a team that can
be either very bad or very good.  And, it looks to be a time
for "very good" as an "extremely bad" football team is coming into
town this Saturday night.  And, with the Indians being from
Louisiana, let's just say that it adds a little bit of hot sauce to
the home cooking at Jordan-Hare.  Tigers, on "very good" mode, by
35.  Call it 42-7.

Duke at Tennessee
It took five overtimes last weekend, but Tennessee eventually
prevailed in Tuscaloosa.  Things should be much easier this weekend
as Ted Roof and shoddily-shingled Duke Blue Devils roll into
Orangeland.  Duke's season has been so poor that even getting to
overtime would be a major victory.  Want another Duke overtime
slap?  Duke is the kind of team that could lose an overtime game by
10 points.  Phil Fulmer and company need a breather, and the Devils
are the perfect tank of O2.  Breathing deep and winning easily, call
this one Vols by 30.

Army at UAB
The Birmingham Blazers came close last Saturday.  They almost beat
the mighty Georgia Bulldogs, who were undoubtably thinking about
cocktail parties.  As for the Army Cadets, last weekend was another
case of them almost beating whomever the hell they lost to.  And, I
see both teams playing that "almost" role on Saturday.   Army will
almost win and UAB will almost lose.  Call it Blazers by almost 5.
UAB 21, Army 17.

Arkansas at Kentucky
My goodness, how times flies.  Doesn't it seem like ages ago that
Arkansas was a pretty good football team?  They were in the top ten,
and were looking into December Atlanta hotel space.  But, that was
only about a month ago, folks.  It's amazing was losing, losing and
losing again will do to your team and time perception.  And as far
as Kentucky is concerned, doesn't it also seem like a long time
since they were a good football team?  Has it really been sixty
years since Bear Bryant coached in Lexington? <g> Even though it's
an upset, I believe that Arkansas just might add another game or two
to this year's losing streak.  I know what it looks like when a team
has reason to quit.  UK by 2, call it 28-26.

UNLV at New Mexico
John Robinson's Rebs may describe themselves as "runnin'", but this
weekend, they'll find themselves dancing with the wolves of New
Mexico.  These loco Lobos are somewhat unknown in the other 49
states, Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands, the naval base at
Guantanamo, Guam and just about every other US territory other than
the "Land of Enchantment".  And although it's said that "what you
don't know can't hurt you", that's not the case for UNLV on
Saturday.  Fear the unknown, Rebs.  New Mexico by 10, call it 41-31.

Kansas at Texas A&M
If the Kansas Jayhawks ever get their own TV show, it'll probably be
on CBS.  That's the network fast becoming the "medical examiner"
channel.  There are about 5 shows already revolving around forensic
pathology.  After what happened last weekend in Manhatten, Kansas
would qualify as needing an autopsy.  Speaking of "the quick and the
dead", the Aggies of Dennis Frangione also lean towards the necro
end of the life scale.  Killing off any further pathological humor,
let's just say that Kansas' season will require notifying the "next
of kin" after this dead end Big XII game is over.  Aggies by 4.

Colorado at Texas Tech
Texas Tech is an amazing football team.  It takes talent to score 5
touchdowns and still lose by 30 points on the same afternoon.  It's
something that's rarely accomplished.  The Buffs of Colorado have
been able to gain thirty point losses consistently during an injury-
plagued season.  CU did, however, show a little life last weekend
against a bunch of Cowboy-focused Oklahoma Sooners.  One thing
that's really made this sorry year in Boulder so difficult to take
was coach Gary Barnette's preseason assertion that the 2003
Buffaloes were one of the best teams he'd ever coached, ability-
wise.  It kind of scares one to think what might happen when the
talent level slips a bit.  Look for the Red Raiders to give the
Buffalo talent level a little shove Saturday in Lubbock.   As for
Tech, there's extra good news....the only way they could lose by 30
points to Colorado would be to score in negative numbers.   Red
Raiders by 14, call it 42-28.

Ohio State at Penn State
Things continue to spiral down for the old man of the Nittany
Mountains.  Last weekend, Joe lost his status as division 1's all-
time winning coach.  And, for the last three years, he's been slowly
losing the confidence of the Lion faithful.  This weekend's home
hookup with the defending national champs could offer a chance at
fleeting redemption.  The Buckeyes are big-time, but have hardly
looked unbeatable this year.  They LOST on the road to a team that
couldn't even beat Northwestern.  So, Joe has his chance to restore
some magic and luster to State College football.  But sadly, here's
where we're at, folks....Joe needs a BETTER chance.  Penn State just
isn't good enough to take advantage of how good Ohio State isn't.
(What a great sentence, huh?)  Ohio State by 7.

Florida State at Notre Dame
Last weekend, FSU head coach Bobby Bowden became the all-time
winningest coach at the major college level.  This confirms Bowden's
legendary and timeless standing in college football.  This weekend,
his Seminoles travel to the very heart of the college football holy
land, Notre Dame Stadium in South Bend, Indiana.  And, while winning
such classic matchups will enshrine a coach in fabric of college
football, Bobby has to hope this weekend's enshrinement is not also
an entombment.  Quite a few legends have stumbled beneath the Golden
Dome.  The Irish are having an off-year, but they can be counted on
to fight with a fervor in this high-profile hookup.  I'd look for
the Seminoles to survive this pilgrimage with a hard-fought win.
But to all my Seminole brethren who make the trip....please light a
candle for Jeff Bowden in the Grotto.  A little prayer might be a
good idea

Nebraska at Texas
You could say that Nebraska and Texas are similar football teams.
Both clubs have found disappointment with colossal and humiliating
losses on their slate.  In that regard, Mack Brown's Texas Longhorns
are probably way out in front of Frank Solich's Huskers, having done
that "got beat, get better" two-step a couple of times this year.
In fact, they seem to be getting pretty good at the whole thing, so
I could imagine UT coughing up yet another Brown-engineered
hairball.  But then again, imagination is sometimes in short supply
on the Nebraska side of the scrimmage line, so we might see
something a little different Saturday in Austin.  Drug test me,
man.   Texas, in an upset, call it `Horns 19-14.

Oklahoma State at Oklahoma
The annual Cowboy-Sooner clash is referred to, simply,
as "Bedlam".   And FWIW, bedlam is surely what's going to occur in
the Sooner camp if OU falls to the Cowpokes for a third consecutive
year.  They say that the third time of anything is "the charm", and
I'm sure that Okie State would be charmed to deny the Sooners
another shot at the national crown.  State has played some damned
good ball this year, and they may be the best team OU will see
before New Orleans.  But, let's just say that Bob Stoopes is just
not enough of a "charming" guy to let any third time charms screw
things up this year.  Bedlam, indeed.   Oklahoma, 30-21.

Georgia vs Florida (Jacksonville, FL)
Mark Richt has enjoyed unprecedented success at Georgia.  After
subpar eras featuring Ray Goff and Jim Donnan, the Athenians feel
that "Dooley's Dogs" have been reborn.  About the only area of
Bulldog ball in which Mark still needs training would be the annual
tussle with the Gators.  Folks call it the "World' Largest Cocktail
Party", which might be part of the reason Richt keeps stumbling away
from Jacksonville.  You see, Mark is a clean-living teetotaler, and
maybe the whole idea of the cocktail party just doesn't work for
him.  In short, he cannot hold his liquor.  Now, I'm not saying or
suggesting that Mark become any kind of lush, but he'd better
develop a tolerance FOR surviving a few cocktails.  Otherwise, the
folks at Georgia might just shorten his bar tab.  No particular
reason, folks, but I have a feeling that the Dawgs are going to have
another round of DUI issues in Jax on Saturday.  In an upset, call
it happy hour for the Gators and THEIR bartender, Ron Zook.
Florida, 22-21.

Washington State at USC
Wazzoo might have gotten caught looking ahead to THIS contest a bit
last weekend.  And, had it not been for a furious rally, the Cougars
could had said "leave it to Beaver" for their Rose Bowl and BCS
hopes.  But for this week, all the preliminaries are over, and it's
time for the "game of the year" in the Pac Ten. Things have already
been burning in the LA area, but come kickoff time, the Trojans and
Cougars are going to turn up the heat in the venerable Coliseum.
Quite a few people have difficulty in believing that SC actually
lost to the California Bears.  Likewise, folks find it almost
fictional to imagine Notre Dame beating any team of merit,
especially one such as Washington State.  At least whomever loses
this game won't have any real difficulty explaining away THIS loss
to a quality opponent.  So....who's going to Pasadena and who's
going to Tempe?  Washington State may have an offense hotter than a
Santa Ana brushfire.  But, I think Pete Carroll's firemen are going
to be successful in dousing the Cougar blaze.  Still willing to
visit New Orleans, but more likely spending the holidays in southern
California, call this one for USC.  Trojans by 9.

Miami at Virginia Tech
A lot of folks are willing to chalk Virginia Tech's collapse at
Morganton up to "looking ahead".  Well, the good news for the Hokies
is that the Miami game is finally here.  The bad news is that
the "winner of the Tech-Miami" game is no longer set for a trip to
New Orleans, unless of course the winner turns out to be wearing
orange and green.  I think that Frank Beamer will quit slapping
players and then focus all the energy of his program and crowd on
defeating UM Saturday.  I also think that it's not going to be
enough, as the `Canes will slither away with a hard-fought win.
Looking ahead might have cost Tech a great season, and after
Saturday, all they'll have left is looking back at what might have
been.   January seems a little late for a hurricane in New Orleans,
but the forecast is shaping up that way.  Miami by 10.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/18/03, is
GAMES FORECAST         301
GAMES CORRECT         226
PCT CORRECT  75.1%
=============================================================

Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Virginia Tech at West Virginia
Most folks believe that the winner of the upcoming Miami-Virginia
Tech game will get an invitation to the grand ball in New Orleans.
But, for the Hokies to have any chance of dancing in the Big Easy,
they'll have to side-step this weekend's barn hootnanny up in
Morganton.  The West Virginia hillbillies are definitely going to
have a new step or two, and Frank Beamer's boys had better be ready
to dance.  Virginia Tech will also be sure to get some of that "A-C-
C" love this is dogging the Big East deserters on their final pass
through hostile conference territory.   But, something tells me that
the Mountaineer fiddler can't play fast enough to slow down Virginia
Tech's waltz to the Sugar Bowl.  So, look for Tech to fiddle around
with West Virginia for a while, but they'll eventually shut down the
party with a 14 point win.

Thursday, October 23, 2003
Maryland at Georgia Tech
Ralph's reptiles really, really needed for Virginia to defeat
Florida State last Saturday night.  And although things were close,
things didn't come up the way Maryland wished, which makes it less
likely that the turtles can crawl back into the BCS picture.  So,
when they carry their resulting non-tropical depression into Atlanta
on Thursday night, it might lead to another rainy ACC day for
Maryland.   Look for Georgia Tech to give the Terps' fans another
reason to switch over to the World Series in this contest.
Yellowjackets by 4.

Saturday, October 25, 2003
Rutgers at Temple
I'm in a forgiving mood.  Last weekend, I picked the Scarlet Knights
to upset Pitt, only to see them trailing 42-0 at halftime.  But,
Pitt quit and Rutgers rallied, trimming the final defeat to a
respectable 10 point margin.  OK, it's not the upset that I
predicted, but it justifies my confidence in the Scarlet boyz
ability to supercede their mediocrity.  And, speaking of mediocrity,
such a level would be an improvement for the Temple Owls.  The
brainy birds couldn't even stay within 40 points of a sleepwalking
bunch of Miami Hurricanes last weekend.  If Rutgers can just relive
last weekend's second half a little longer, they can deliver me a
Prophet win, albeit a week late.  Scarlet Knights by 4.

Notre Dame at Boston College
John Paul II may be in poor health, but he's doing jumping jacks
compared to the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.  This weekend's
Vatican Bowl will feature two angry football teams looking to prove
something to their respective gridiron flocks.  Look for BC to abuse
Notre Dame Saturday in Chestnut Hill.  Then again, maybe I should
use a verb other than ABUSE for this call.  "Abuse" has an ugly ring
when used in conjunction with young men in the Catholic community of
Boston, right?  Let's go with a tried and true Southern verb...I see
the Eagles whupping the Irish, call it something like 28-20.

Syracuse at Pittsburgh
Last weekend in Syracuse, the Orangemen supporters mocked and
chanted "A-C-C" at Boston College.  The act both intimidated BC and
motivated Syracuse, who posted an upset win.  Both clubs in THIS
game have been rumored to be baited for an eventual move to the Big
10, assuming of course that Notre Dame cannot be coaxed out of their
gridiron bachelorhood.  But, both the Orangemen and Panthers should
really consider sticking around the Little East for a couple more
seasons.  Once Miami and Virginia Tech clear out, THIS might become
THE annual and de-facto conference title game.   On this weekend,
it'll only be a battle for a tier 4 bowl.  Then again, after Miami,
Virginia Tech and BC leave and the Mountain West replaces the Big
East in the BCS, it might STILL be a battle for a tier 4 bowl.  Time
for more lawyers.  Pittsburgh by 2.

Troy State at Virginia
The Cavaliers did just about everything right in last weekend's home
loss to FSU, except actually win the game.  This Saturday, look for
Al Groh to find the final piece to the victory puzzle, as the
undermanned Trojans of Troy, Alabama charge into Charlottesville.
And, if enough of last Saturday's record crowd will just find their
way back to Scott Stadium, showing that they care in the process, I
see this weekend being better than the last.  Virginia by 14.

USC at Washington
This is the sort of game that shivers my timbers, to steal a little
pirate line.  The Pac Ten has always been a confusing conference,
one that defies logic in prognosticating games.  And within the
conference, the Washington Huskies may be the most confusing squad.
Talent-wise, they're capable of BCS status.  Performance-wise,
they're lucky to be in division 1.  They're a little bit like a wad
of chewed up gum.  It's not much use in the grand scheme of things,
but when someone comes along with a shiny pair of new shoes, you get
a big, sticky mess.  I wonder how difficult it is to remove chewing
gum from Trojan armor?  Look out, Rebel Fred.  In a squeaker, call
this one USC by 3.

Arizona at California
The Mildcats aren't going anywhere in the Pac Ten this year.  In
fact, they've already sacked their opening-day coach.  It might be
that the only way that Arizona could again find their way to the
front of the sports section might be to fire two head coaches in one
season.  While the brass in Tucson ponders that P.R. suggestion,
look for this contest to buried on the back section of the
newspaper, under "FAR WEST, other...."   California by 8.

BYU at UNLV
There are lots of schools that long ago named their stadium(s) for
coaches and school administrators.  As time went on, OTHER great
coaches came along and the stadium names have been amended.  That's
how Alabama ended up with Bryant-Denny Field, for example.  My
point?  I don't believe that BYU will have to make any changes to
recently-named LaVelle Edwards stadium in the foreseeable future.
About all the Cougars may find themselves doing is naming a new
coach.  UNLV by 7.

Arizona State at UCLA
This weekend offers the ASU Sun Devils a rare chance to complete a
bi-coastal sweep.  State eked out a win on the Atlantic coast last
Saturday, defeating the hapless North Carolina Tar Heels by the
slimmest of margins.  And, if ASU wants to collect some winning
sands near the Pacific just seven days later, they'll have to play a
much better football game.  UCLA seems to be coming on under coach
What's-his-name, and the Sun Devils may find that the left coast is
best left alone.  Then again, this IS the psycho Pac Ten, so maybe
not.  In an upset, call this one ASU by 1.

Oklahoma at Colorado
Nutritional guides will tell you that buffalo meat is extremely
lean.  Well, that menu note is especially true in Boulder this year,
as Gary Barnette and company are having the leanest of years.   Look
for Bob Stoopes and his still-amazingly-hungry Oklahoma Sooners to
apply a healthy helping of tenderizer to the CU seasonal stew.   I'm
sure the Sooners will really turn up the heat at Folsom Field, but
it really isn't necessary.  The Buffs have been done for quite a
while.  Oklahoma by 21.

Iowa State at Nebraska
The Cyclones of ISU plan to blow into Lincoln for a weekend dust-
storm.  And speaking of breeze, the loss to Missouri a couple of
weekends ago could have taken the wind from the Husker sails, had it
not been for the timely arrival of Texas A&M on the Nebraska
schedule.  There's nothing like beating the crap out of a conference
opponent to make you feel better about yourself.  Look for the
Husker self-image to get even better after Saturday's game.  The
only "blowing" in Lincoln is going to be Iowa State being blown out
of town.  Nebraska by 17.

Texas Tech at Missouri
Last weekend, the Red Raiders of Tech were defeated by Oklahoma
State, falling by the ridiculous football score of 51-49.  Sounds
kind of like the old "wacky WAC" days before the creation of the
Mountain West, doesn't it?   Actually, it sounds more like a Bobby
Knight basketball score.  As predicted by Prophet, the reason Tech
lost was that although they COULD score, they couldn't keep Okie
State from scoring, too.  This game will be the exact opposite in
cause and effect.  We know that the Raiders can score big.  Missouri
can put points on the board, too.   But, they'll never be able to
match Texas Tech point for point.  It'll be like trying to clean up
Niagra Falls with a mop.  So, look for the Tech offense to again be
the deciding factor in a 6 point win in Columbia.  Let's call it 48-
42.

Kansas at Kansas State
According to many prognosticators, KU and K-State are two Plains
State programs headed in opposite directions.  The Jayhawks seem to
be on the rise, while Bill Snyder's felines have lost their
scratch.   And, it's easy to understand where these generalities are
coming from.  Other than a ridiculous loss to Colorado, the Jayhawks
have played solid football this year.  And K-State??   Hell, they
lost to Texas.  Texas!  Mack Brown's Texas!!!  No wonder Prozac
sales are up in Manhattan.  I think things might be a little
different for both sides on this weekend.   I'm not totally
convinced that the Jayhawks have left the old "so-so" nest.   And, I
believe that rumors of State's complete collapse are premature.
Now, I'm not saying that Kansas State is anywhere near as good a
football team that some had forecast going into the season.   But, I
don't think they're average enough to lose at home to their hated
pals from Kansas.  Wildcats by 3, call it 20-17.

Ohio State at Indiana
Jim Tressel's defending national champion Buckeyes have decided to
take another big risk this weekend.  For only the second time this
year, OSU is daring to venture away from Columbus and the
Horseshoe.   The last Saturday jaunt away from home cost the Bucks a
long winning streak.  In the process, a chance to repeat as national
champs may well be gone, too.  And surprisingly, State will now even
need help to win the Big Ten.  So, you can understand why the
Buckeye fans are nervous.   But not to worry, folks.   The last time
you left town, you were playing a team that was at least capable of
tying their shoes.  That's not the case this Saturday.  Getting
their first roadie of the year, call this one Ohio State by 14.

Penn State at Iowa
I see where Penn State receiver Tony Johnson was arrested for
driving under the influence of alcohol.  Apparently, this Nittany
Kitty had spent a little too much time at his milk saucer, lapping
up  White Russians.  But, upon learning that Tony had just been
forced to watch video of the Penn State offense's most recent
performances, his inebriation was deemed "probably justified" by the
State College town court, and all charges were immediately
dropped.   I'm just kidding folks.  Tony's ass is still in a legal
sling.  Don't any of YOU drink and drive.   And, don't go betting on
Penn State this weekend.  Iowa has something to prove in Iowa City,
and they're going to prove it first to Penn State.  Hawkeyes by 10.

Wisconsin at Northwestern
It's been a rough couple of weeks for the Badger program.  Last
weekend, Purdue passed them to death, winning a big game at Camp
Randall.  The week before, some guy on Ohio State's defense tried to
choke QB Jim Sorgi in an after-play pileup.  Neither event is likely
to occur on the road this weekend in Evanston.  First of all,
Northwestern isn't going to pass anyone to death.  And second of
all, these Northwestern kids are brainy...if they wanted to kill
someone, they'd use a much more insidious method than openly choking
their victim.  So, other than perhaps testing the team hotel for
deadly DNA-engineered killer viruses, Wisconsin should be able to
survive the road trip in good spirit and health.  Badgers by 17.

Army at Cincinnati
Army's new head coach lost his first game at the helm last weekend.
It was close, but he lost.  In Army terms, you'd have to call it an
orderly retreat.  Any great military historian will tell you that
some of the greatest victories in recorded history have begun with a
retreat.  In the Cadets' case, this probably means nothing.  But for
Army and its supporters, it's something to cling to.   Bearcats by 6.

NC State at Duke
Another one bites the dust.  Last weekend, Duke chose to terminate
the contract of Coach Carl Franks.  Before anyone accuses the
Dookies of being hasty, Carl HAD managed to lose something like 27
ACC games in a row.  I read somewhere where he had to win AN (as in
one) ACC game to remain coach after this year.  Boy, talk about
lowering the bar!   But, since the school administration had lowered
the bar as far as it would go, they were forced to lower the boom
after seeing mighty Wake Forest race to a 42-0 HALFTIME lead over
the Blue Devils.  The interim Duke-head is assistant coach Ted
Roof.  Something tells me that the folks in Durham will be re-
roofing their program by season's end.   Just as a friendly
suggestion, let me suggest that Duke seriously consider hiring FSU
offensive coordinator Jeff Bowden.  We'd be glad to let him out of
his contract.  As for this weekend, look for Phil Rivers and company
to tear the roof off venerable Wallace Wade Stadium, new Devil coach
or not.   What??  Wallace Wade doesn't HAVE a roof?   Oh well, that
just makes it easier for the Pack.   NC State by 28.

Vanderbilt at South Carolina
Have you seen those motel commercials that Lou Holtz does on
television?  He's talking about how important "road trips" can be.
When the businessman he's talking to says "it's only a sales call",
Lou goes postal.  "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS JUST A SALES CALL" he
whines at the top of his lungs.  Well, I can just hear him saying
the same thing when someone describes this weekend's visit from
Vandy as sure win.  "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SURE WIN, SON!"
Sure there is, Lou.  Relax and enjoy.  South Carolina by 16.

North Carolina at Clemson
In a season where nothing has been certain, this weekend's contest
in Clemson looks to be an easy one for the hometown Tigers.  But, as
Lou Holtz would say, "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SURE WIN, SON".
And, Lou would have more of a point if he were coaching in this
contest.  Clemson has improved, as last week's near-miss at NC State
would demonstrate.  But, the Cats also have a ways to go, again
evidenced in the manner that they continually shot themselves in the
foot last weekend.  That near-miss could have easily been a big
win.  So, Tommy can't afford to look ahead to the opportunity to
bully his little brother's offense in a few weeks.  For now, he
needs to keep his mind, and his team's minds, on North Carolina.
Mission accomplished at Death Valley.   Clemson by 10, call it 34-24.

Mississippi State at Kentucky
Jackie Sherrill's timing stinks.  The way that whole "I'm retiring"
business is supposed to go is as follows:  You call a melancholy
press conference, the week before your team plays a HOME GAME
against a mediocre opponent.  You tearfully announce that you're
hanging up your whistle after the season, and insinuate that you'd
really like your troops to win one for the old man.  DON'T make your
announcement before a road trip to Auburn.  That immediately turned
the plan into "let's try not to get completely and throughly
annihilated for the old man".  I'm not sure that the UK Wildcats and
their jumbo QB Fatty Lorenzen are the proper opponents to cater a
retirement party.  But, at least there's a chance they'll serve hors
d'oeuvres.   Let's take a chance on shifty Sherrill.   Mississippi
State wins with an upset in Lexington.   Bulldogs by 2.

UAB at Georgia
"Sleepwalking" would describe Georgia's win last weekend over
Vanderbilt.  The first half performance was particularly
narcoleptic.  It is, however, true that the Dawgs woke up in plenty
of time to secure a convincing win.  Mark Richt had best start
waking his pups up a little earlier in their games, though.
Although an early wake-up call won't be necessary as UAB comes
calling this weekend, next Saturday's cocktail party will require a
more punctual arrival.  Look for Georgia to put out the Blazers with
a minimal and unspectacular effort.  Call it Bulldogs, 42-17.

Louisville at East Carolina
Pirates are supposed to know how to handle birds....especially
bright, red birds.  If the feathery wonder makes too much ruckus,
just cram a cracker in his mouth, right?  Well, that may work for
parrots, but Cardinals don't like crackers, preferring a seeded
mixture for sustenance.  And, this year's ECU Swashbucklers have
played a pretty seedy level of football.  So, I'd look for
L'ullville to put on the feedbag, even far, far away from their old
Kentucky nest.  Cardinals by 10.

Wake Forest at Florida State
The Demon Deacs may bring some fire and brimstone to Saturday's tent
revival, but they'll not be preaching to the converted.  Seminole
boss Bobby B has been known to ascend the pulpit now and then, and
his sermons are usually gospel in Tallahassee.  We FSU fans can only
hope he'll end this heretic idea of his son being offensive
coordinator before the revelation of evil consumes the Seminole
program.  But on this weekend, I don't see any biblical floods or
burning bushes to indicate anything unholy for the home team.
Florida State by 14, call it 31-14.

Oklahoma State at Texas A&M
Texas A&M has only two chances to win this weekend's game, and
neither is a really good bet.   First, the game is being played at
Kyle Field.  The solidarity of the 12th man, along with the haunted
ghosts of all those Aggie dogs buried out front, might just align
the stars in A&M's favor.   It IS, after all, getting pretty close
to Halloween.  And more importantly, Okie State might just still be
winded from all the scoring they did last weekend against Texas
Tech.  They might be too pooped to party.   Nahhhhhhh, Cowboys by
10, call it 27-17.   And again speaking of Halloween, thank God
Oklahoma State is the visiting team here.  Otherwise, they might be
tempted to wear those horrid all-orange pumpkin suits in honor of
the witching holiday.

Texas at Baylor
Two good things happen to support Texas' continued healing process
on this weekend.   First, they're playing away from Austin, so the
folks showing up at the game won't be carrying ropes and knot-tying
manuals.  And second, the `Horns opponents are the Baylor Bears.
That would be the same Baylor Bear squad that coughed up 73 points
to Texas A&M, a team that traditionally doesn't know offense from
oatmeal.  Only Mack Brown could screw up such a sure win, but I
still don't see it on Saturday.  It's an easy win for the
Shorthorns, call it Texas 42-7.

TCU at Houston
Even on the road, this should be another reasonably easy win for the
still-unbeaten TCU Horny Toads.  But, they might want to check the
IDs of the Houston Cougar players.  We're getting to that time of
the year when the BCS folks might start to panic.  I wouldn't put it
beyond them to slip a few ringers into the Houston line-up. Are the
NFL Texans playing in Houston this weekend?   Just remember, all of
those "three letter" organizations (FBI, CIA, IRS, BCS, etc....) are
capable of unimaginable evil.  Horned Frogs by 10.

Oregon State at Washington State
A lot of people were shocked and amazed to see Washington State gain
six spots in the national polls two weeks ago, WITHOUT EVEN PLAYING
A GAME.  So much for the massive effect of "Separation Saturday".
And, Cougar fans are now wondering why their poll cats aren't
gaining as much respect in the composite BCS standings.  But, that's
what losing to Notre Dame can do to you, at least THIS year.  And,
in the "what goes up must come down" department, I'll say that WSU's
rise in the polls will be immediately inverted when their inevitable
first conference loss occurs.  Two losses, with one of them being to
Notre Dame, will punch your ticket for the Sun Bowl.  But for this
weekend, the Cats get to remain in the high country, although it
could get scary with a pack of wounded Beavers trying to chew up
Pullman.   Wazzoo by 9, call it 38-29.

Arkansas at Mississippi
Arkansas is one of those teams that have consistently and completely
boned me this year.  Every time I decide that they're solid and
climb on their bandwagon, they choke like an Ohio State linebacker.
And, when I give up on them, suddenly they're good enough to beat
the Atlanta Falcons.  I'd like to just wipe these pigs from my slate
for the rest of the year, and let them wallow in their own filth.
But, I'm still committed to make picks on these big games.  So, with
the inevitable knowledge that you end up in the mud when you mess
with hogs, I'm going to boldly predict that Arkansas will end Ole
Miss' unbeaten run in the SEC.  It'll be close, maybe something like
29-26.   And now that I've picked the Razorbacks, the Rebel faithful
will realize what an incredible favor I've done them.  Please send
your checks to my home address, `yall.

Tennessee at Alabama
Back before conference expansion destroyed much of the SEC's
tradition, Tennessee against Alabama was religion.  This game always
occurred on the third Saturday in October.   So, based on pre-
expansion history and doctrine, that makes this contest "late".
And, it might be appropriate because life is getting kind of late
for both Tennessee and Alabama in 2003.  (TOO late, some might
say.)  Unlike in the moderate past, this weekend's contest won't
mean much outside Tuscaloosa and Knoxville, but it'll still be a
war.  And unlike real wars, where it's tough to know who actually
won, NCAA football wars have a clear victor....and loser.  And
something tells me that Tennessee will be better prepared for a
loss.   Folks up in Big Orange country have already used their white
flags, both in the Georgia and Auburn games.  So, that makes them
ready for what awaits on another trip into Alabama.  I don't know
how they'll do it, but Mikey Shula's Tide will find a way to beat
Tennessee on Saturday.   Tennessee might even help them do it.
Alabama by 4, call it 28-24.

Purdue at Michigan
All of the talking heads keep insisting that Michigan is the odds-on
choice to win the Big Ten.  It's felt that the Wolverines have the
most favorable remaining schedule.  After looking the slate over,
I'd agree that it appears easier than the road to Pasadena faced by
the Purdues and Michigan States of the world.  But, big Blue still
has to find a way TO beat said Purdues and Michigan States, not to
mention the Ohio States.  The trip to East Lansing might be
especially gooey.   As for this weekend, I believe the lactate left
in the Boilermaker muscles after the hard-pounded win at Wisconsin
should be enough to anerobicize up Purdue's first conference loss of
2003.  But, Michigan and John Navarre still have to show up and play
football, something they've occasionally neglected to do.  I really
hate for ESPN know-it-alls to be proven right, but for this
Saturday, I think they're on target. Michigan by 3, call it 24-21.

Auburn at LSU
One of my favorite "Louisiana" songs was done by Mary Chapin
Carpenter.  I'm sure you've all heard it, "Over at the Twist &
Shout".  Speaking of twisting and shouting, I somebody's tail will
get twisted in this Saturday battle of SEC-West cats.  Sure, Ole
Miss is still unbeaten in the conference, but I really believe that
this catfight is the one that'll determine the western part of the
December SECCG party in Atlanta.  Nick Saban and LSU recovered
nicely from the Florida debacle with last weekend's easy win over
South Carolina.  And Auburn seems to have the Cadillac in high gear,
having long removed the monkey wrench thrown into the Tigers' early
season by USC.  As you probably know, cats are very territorial.
And, you probably also know HOW cats mark their territory.  Saturday
night is going to feature a whole lot of scratching and pissing.
And whichever club wants to win had best do more scratching than
pissing around.  It'll be close and hard-fought.  But when the
caterwauling ends, look for Auburn to do the twisting while LSU does
the shouting.  Getting a huge road win, call it for the `Bama cats.
Auburn, 21-18.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/11/03, is
GAMES FORECAST         268
GAMES CORRECT         201
PCT CORRECT  75.0%
=============================================================
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Air Force vs Colorado State
Pilots usually wear crash helmets for protection, and on Thursday
night, the USAFA boys had best have on their top-level safety gear.
Sonny Lubick's sheep have recently found themselves a forest of
large whippin' sticks, and they've been putting the wood to Fort
Collins visitors.  Ready or not, I think the Falcons may be in for
some more of what BYU received last Thursday night, courtesy of
Colorado State.  Rams by 10.

New Mexico State vs Louisiana-Lafayette
I've already made a point this year about how the ESPN abbreviation
for Louisiana-Lafayette is "UL-LAF", as in "you'll laugh".  The
Cajuns' opponent on Thursday is another club capable of bringing a
chuckle to fans of quality football.  And although I don't believe
this epic is being televised, it probably should.....it's
undoubtably funnier than anything on network TV these days.  Look
for the NMSU Aggies to have the last laugh Thursday down on the
bayou.  State by 3.

Clemson vs NC State
This ESPN clash features a battle among various relatives, former
employees and/or disciples of Bobby Bowden.  NC State boss Chuck
Amato drove FSU linebackers to great glory before becoming the head
man in Raleigh.   And, Tommy Bowden certainly drove dear old daddy
crazy for years before becoming gainfully employed as a head
football coach.  As for what's at stake Thursday, both the Wolfpack
and Tigers are jockeying for a better position in the 2003 ACC
scheme of things.   And in Tommy's case, he might just be jockeying
for another job offer after this season.  I see a close game, but
you'll be surprised to learn that the outcome might have Tommy B
rethinking an immediate resume upgrade.   In an upset, Clemson wins
on (the)Tobacco Road, call it by 4.  Want to start off the week with
a score?  Let's say 28-24.

Friday, October 17, 2003
Tulane vs Louisville
Conference USA again takes center stage nationally on Friday night,
as ESPN brings Tulane versus Louisville into our homes.  The Green
Wave from the gulf crashes into the riverfront home of the Kentucky
Derby.  This combination of birds and surf suddenly reminded me of
the old "Trashmen" hit song, "Surfin' Bird".  Remember the only
words of that song??   "The Bird is the Word".  And on THIS Friday
night, the birds are indeed going to be the word.  Avoiding any
conference bird baths, look for L'ullville to "hang" enough points
on Two-Lane to surf away with a 7 point win.

Saturday, October 18, 2003
Pittsburgh vs Rutgers
The Panthers of Pittsburgh are that very rare football entity,
namely they are a team that is semi-successful while being
essentially a one man team.   Other than super receiver Larry
Fitzgerald, the cats don't have much.  Want proof?   Last weekend,
they allowed Notre Dame to run all over them AT HOME.  Coming into
the game, the Fainting Irish were ranked something like 100th in
NCAA rushing.  This weekend's Big East opponent, the Scarlet Knights
of Rutgers, definitely appear to be the sort of team capable of
losing to one-man teams.  However, Rutger's failure to fall below
85th in any NCAA rankings could spell doom for the Pennsylvania
Alleys.  In short, Rutgers just might not be bad enough for
Pittsburgh to beat them.  In an upset, call this one Knights by 3.

Boston College vs Syracuse
The BC athletic department played coy all last weekend, as rumors of
an ACC jump swirled around Chestnut Hill.  And, while I'm sure that
no university decision HAD been made as to what to do with an
invitation, let us note that BC only took 4 hours of their allotted
thirty day decision period to bolt the Big East.   It should only
take BC about the same amount of time to claim one last conference
win at the hands of the SU Orangemen.  Eagles by 12.

East Carolina vs Army
This week, after an 0-6 start, the US Military Academy fired their
head football coach.  Now, in the civilian world, this would mean a
pink slip and the cessation of remuneration.  Hopefully, the
military version of a firing doesn't include a final cigarette and a
blindfold.   Speaking of a blindfold, that may be the only way that
fans at West Point could have enjoyed any of this year's football
games.  Conventional wisdom would indicate that things won't be any
better on Saturday as the ECU Pirates sail into town.  But then
again, conventional wisdom would never have suggested that college
football was important enough at Army to dismiss a coach mid-
season.  Maybe the new guy can stem the Cadets' retreat, at least
for his first day on the job.  In an upset, Army by 2.   BTW, isn't
this the first year of duty for Pirate boss John Thompson?   Get out
the blindfolds and cigarettes.

Marshall vs Buffalo
This weekend will find MAC power Marshall on the trail up in
Buffalo, New York.  And, they may be surprised to find some locals
trying to join up with their "thundering" herd.  However, this West
Virginia Herd is an exclusive group of giants, and they're not
looking to add any subpar DNA to their present gene pool.  So, look
for Buffalo to become victims on this stampede, rather than members
of it.   Marshall by 24.

Florida State vs Virginia
If you'd asked FSU fans back in August what worried them the most
about this weekend's trip to Virginia, there would have been two
main issues....WEATHER and DISTRACTION.  First, the `Nole faithful
ALWAYS fear playing above 30 degrees north anytime after September
the 1st.  To many in Tallahassee, ANYWHERE "up there" might as well
be the North Pole.  And while I'll confess that cold weather could
be expected on Saturday, it'll be hard to imagine a meteorological
malevolence any worse than last weekend at Doak Campbell.   As for
the distraction thing, folks figured that AFTER a big win over
Miami, FSU might overlook a good Virginia team on the road.  Let's
just say that things may have changed a bit.   As for last weekend,
maybe it's all not THAT bad.   FSU retained a solid top-ten
ranking.  And also....just between us....it's OK with me if Miami
goes to the Sugar Bowl this year.  I'd like to spend New Year's with
someone other than Oklahoma, if you catch my drift.  As for this
weekend, look for the Seminoles to prevail in this battle of
recently defeated and disappointed clubs.   FSU by 10.

Utah vs UNLV
I've always been curious about UNLV's "Running Rebels" nickname.
Where are they running?   Why are they running?  For this weekend,
the most appropriate interrogative would be who are they running
from?  A mob of angry and talented Utah Utes, that's who.  Utah by 6.

California vs UCLA
I may not be able to remember coach Karl Donnan's name....oops, I
meant Coach Karl What's-his-name...but, I DO remember what happened
the last time the Cal Bears hooked up with Pac Ten brethren from the
city of angels.  However, I also remember THAT surprise happened up
in the bay area.   Anyone worth his salt would realize that Southern
Cal is a stronger team than UCLA, and that IF Cal can beat USC, they
should be able to bring down the Bruins.   But, predicting football
games has nothing to do with the value of salt, so let me suggest
that UCLA will surprise many by winning this weekend's battle of the
bears in Pasadena.  Bruins by 3.

Washington State vs Stanford
In this year's Pac Ten race, the Wazzoo Cougars have been about the
only thing constant among the chaos.  So, why do I have such an
uncomfortable niggling doubt as to things staying on course Saturday
in Palo Alto?  In a state that elects the Terminator as their next
governor, anything truly CAN happen, you know.  All doubts aside, I
suppose I need to pick Washington State to win on Saturday, since
I'm not actually insane enough to live in California.  Cougars by 14.

BYU vs Wyoming
They say there's a quarterback controversy brewin' at BYU.  And as
the Cougars' weekend hosts will tell you, there really ain't room
enough in the saddle for more than one Cowboy.  So, the migrating
Mormons from Provo had best settle on one leader and follow him.
The good news is that for THIS trip, either one of their boys ought
to do just fine.   BYU by 7.

Washington vs Oregon State
A trip to Corvallis may not exactly be a home game for the
Washington Huskies.  But, the scenery of Oregon should still be
somewhat familiar to the boys from the north.   There are the tall
timbers, the crisp clean air AND the rugged and rocky coastlines.
And speaking of familiar, if this game is a continuation of the
Huskies' recent pattern of play, they might want to keep on heading
south after the game, rather than risk a return to Seattle and their
disappointed fans.  Every dog does have its day, but I don't believe
that this gameday will belong to the Huskies any more than the last
couple of Saturdays have.  OSU by 7.

Texas A&M vs Nebraska
Both the Aggies and Cornhuskers must have slipped into an alternate
universe last weekend.  In Nebraska fashion, A&M routed an actual
division-1 opponent by 63 points.   And, in mockery of recent Aggie
activity, the Huskers were routed by a team they'd beaten some
twenty times in a row.  Do you suppose there was some sort of mix-up
in the terrestrial transportation scheme?  Texas A&M and Nebraska
switching teams?   Oh well, they'll get it all straight on
Saturday.   Revisiting the universe of normalcy, look for the
hometown blackshirts to re-establish themselves in Lincoln.
Cornhuskers by 14, let's call it 35-21.

Michigan State vs Minnesota
They weren't lined up against Jeff SMOKER last weekend, but that
didn't keep the Golden Gophers from getting burned up during a
fourth quarter collapse.  This Saturday offers another hometown
chance to get things right in the Big Ten, but I'd not expect any
help or sympathy from visiting Michigan State.   The Spartans are
just recovering from a couple of seasons of collapse, and they're
not ready to revisit the issue.  Completing the state of Michigan's
old "one-two" punch, I see State knocking out Minnesota, call it by
12, maybe something like 28-16.

Colorado vs Kansas State
Wildcat fans are having to do a rapid 180 degree turn, with regard
to the Colorado Buffaloes.  Last weekend, CU brought glee to the
hearts of the downtrodden K-Staters with their stirring overtime
defeat of hated Kansas.  This weekend, they have to stop cheering
long enough to make sure it doesn't happen to them, too.  Has it
really only been about four weeks since people were whispering BCS
and New Orleans as a possibility for Kansas State?  It's unnerving
what three quick losses can do to a program.  I think that loss
number four can be avoided, at least for this weekend, in the
friendly confines of Manhattan.  Wildcats by 3.

Baylor vs Kansas
Football has certainly been a life and death matter at Baylor this
year.  Last weekend saw a little of both, as the Bears breathed life
into the Texas A&M program while getting themselves killed in
College Station.  Turning to death of a more sudden nature, Mike
Mangione's Kansas Jayhawks found themselves unable to corral
Colorado in the allotted sixty minutes of football, which led to an
unpleasant overtime loss.  So, Saturday finds these two Big XII
clubs hoping to rebound against one another.  Look for Big Mike's
birds to edge away from whatever is left (after the A&M debacle) of
Baylor in this game.   Winning at home in Lawrence, call it KU by a
few....let's say 7.

Illinois vs Michigan
The Wolverines only played one quarter of football last Friday night
up in Minneapolis, but it was just enough to seize a much-needed
conference win.  This Saturday in Ann Arbor, it may not take more
than a couple of decent drives to rack up two in a row.  Home sweet
home in the Big House, Michigan by 18.

Purdue vs Wisconsin
While the win over Ohio State last Saturday has been greatly
celebrated in Madison, we must put Wisconsin's win in perspective.
The truth is that the Buckeyes had been walking at the edge of the
cliff for weeks upon end.  Barry's Badgers just became the first
club to sack up and shove.  This weekend's visitor to Camp Randall
hasn't been playing quite the game of chicken with defeat as had the
Buckeyes.  If Wisconsin is to win THIS game, they're going to have
to work much harder.  Purdue's players probably won't try to choke
any of the Badger players, but that doesn't mean that the end result
won't seem like rose-laden fingers around UW's throats.  Shutting
down the wind in the Badgers' Rose Bowl sails, look for the
Boilermakers to shovel enough coal to chug up another big conference
win.  Purdue by 9, call it 23-14.

Texas vs Iowa State
I hope that Mack Brown had the good sense to bring along a few
traumatic stress specialists for this Saturday's trip to Ames.  Even
though mean, old Oklahoma is far, far away, the mere sight of any
team wearing red uniforms is bound to send the Longhorns scrambling
for a bomb shelter.  I believe that Texas is a beaten football team,
literally and figuratively.  However, I also believe enough steers
escaped the Stoopes slaughterhouse last weekend to effect a modest
victory in this game.   Longhorns by 10.

Toledo vs Central Michigan
Saturday finds the Toledo Rockets hooking up with yet another tribe
of MAC native Americans.  Indian nations haven't faced this much
hardship at the hands of one tormentor since smallpox sailed from
Europe over 400 years ago.  Celebrating this Saturday with the same
enthusiasm reserved for Columbus Day, look for the Chippewas to go
down in a hurry, even at home.  Toledo by 21.

USC vs Notre Dame
After putzing around for much of the season trying to run a "west
coast offense", the Fighting Irish returned to what has historically
been their forte, running the football.  And while that did result
in a win at Pittsburgh, this weekend's visit from USC brings another
roadblock for the Willingham rebuilding project.  In the past,
Southern Cal literally WROTE the book on power football, earning the
nickname "tailback U".  In 2003, the Trojan defense has authored a
sequel, based on stopping the run.  Putting the Domers back in the
starting blocks on Saturday, I see a triumph for the visitors. Call
this one SC by 17, maybe something like 30-13.

Iowa vs Ohio State
Last weekend marked the first time all year that Ohio State had
dared to venture away from the Horseshoe.  And the result??  The
first Buckeye loss in quite a while!  So, it appears that Jim
Tressel and company have decided to remain safely near Columbus for
this Saturday's contest against Iowa's Hawkeyes.  Skipping the road
trip may save wear and tear on the team bus tires, but the Hawks
aren't exactly the same type of conference retreads some of the
earlier OSU home games have featured.  Last weekend ended one streak
for Ohio State, and this weekend may very well continue another
one.  Iowa by 4, call it 19-15.

LSU vs South Carolina
Did you see Nick Saban's face on TV last weekend, as his Bengals
committed bonehead play after bonehead play in the upset loss to
Florida?  My mom used to tell me that my face would "freeze that
way" when I made an ugly look.   Speaking of faces, nobody has the
look of USC boss Lou Holtz.   Weasel Lou has one of those pusses
that can look happy, frustrated, confused or evil...all at the same
time.   You never know what he's up to, and that's the real danger
for LSU on this trip to Columbia.  The evil upset genie keeps
whispering in my ear, but I've just got to resist the temptation to
call this one for South Carolina.  Sometimes, losing because of Lou
is better than trusting him and his team.  LSU in a squeaker, call
it Tigers by 5.

Florida vs Arkansas
Last weekend in Baton Rouge proved to be a pleasant surprise for Ron
Zook and his Florida Gators.  Given up for lost on the bayou, UF
played their best game of the year, knocking LSU from the ranks of
the unbeaten.  Many people believe that the recent problems that the
Gators have faced are minimized when the team gets away from the
Gainesville cauldron.  Kind of a "freedom on the road" type of
thing.  It's hoped that more of the same awaits Zook and company up
in Fayetteville.  I'm not saying that it couldn't happen happy again
for Florida...but it would be better if they could get Houston
Nutt's pigs out of town before they arrive on Saturday.   Arkansas
by 3, call it 20-17.

Arizona State vs North Carolina
They often say that you can search the world over for happiness, and
it can be found in your own backyard.  Well, that's not necessarily
the case for the Sun Devils of ASU.  In order to assure themselves
of yet another win, it has been deemed necessary to travel some 2000
miles to collect a non-conference "W".  Sure, it's expensive, but it
beats losing.  Sun Devils by 12.

Temple vs Miami
After "Separation Saturday's" win at Florida State, the `Canes
should have little to fear from Big East foe Temple on this
weekend.  Even with UM's anticipated let-down, the Owls offer little
to challenge Miami's supremacy in the Orange Bowl.  Temple, unlike
the Seminoles, will probably have a game plan when they arrive to
fence with Miami.  But I still think that Larry Coker and company
will make the necessary adjustments.   Miami by 35.

Georgia vs Vanderbilt
If the Commodores couldn't get within 10 points of Navy last
weekend, you know they're sunk with Georgia dog-paddling into town.
Richt's pooches will certainly suffer some degree of relaxation
following their big win in Knoxville last Saturday, and we can
expect less than a show-dog effort in this game.  But, I still
believe the Dawgs will bury their bones in Vandy's backyard (...or
back-something...) pretty easily on Saturday.  Georgia by 30.

Alabama vs Mississippi
For all of the Manning legend in Mississippi, ARCHIE Manning never
managed to defeat Alabama.  Look for his boy Eli to again do dad one
better Saturday at home in Mississippi.  Due to injuries, Alabama
has turned pretty much into a one-trick pony.  Assuming David
Cutcliffe is smart enough to concentrate his entire defensive scheme
on stopping Shaud Williams, I figure the Rebel offense can do the
rest.  Manning and Ole Miss stay unbeaten in the SEC, let's call it
by 5.

Mississippi State vs Auburn
OK, last weekend I challenged Tommy Tuberville and his Tigers
to "prove" me wrong.  I'd said that Auburn had not yet convinced me
of their return to glory.  Now, I'll admit that I would've picked
the War Eagles in this game, no matter what.  But now, I feel
confident enough to go double digits.  Auburn by 20.

Missouri vs Oklahoma
The Mizzou Tigers did something last weekend that hasn't happened in
years.   After over two decades of frustration in playing Nebraska,
the Tigers routed the Cornhuskers in Columbia.  Why haven't I said
anything about this week's game against mighty Oklahoma, another
team that's made a habit of beating Mizzou?  I kind of hated to
spoil Missouri' magic moment.  You all saw what happened in Dallas
last weekend.  Look for more of the same this Saturday in Norman,
but perhaps on a bit less tragic scale.  OU by 23.

Texas Tech vs Oklahoma State
Both the Cowboys and Red Raiders have gotten the offenses cranked up
bigtime this year.  This could be a very entertaining contest,
unless of course you're a defensive coordinator.  No doubt in my
mind that this game will come down to which team can play defense,
which makes the pick easy.  Okie State by 13.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/4/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 232
GAMES CORRECT 176
PCT CORRECT 75.9%
=============================================================
========================== Bulletin =========================
The following Thursday and Friday picks have previously been
published.  They are included here as a means to keep the
issue "complete".
=============================================================
Thursday, October 9, 2003
Colorado State vs BYU
OK, sure....I've been struggling this year.  Things just don't seem
to be going Prophet's way.  But, have any of you noticed or
appreciated the (ever so slight) improvement in the overall timbre of
my humor.  I've called fewer people Nazis, and have only once truly
behaved in a homophobic manner.  I haven't even played the race
card.  However, it took all my new-found strength to not resort to
some sort of Mormon farmhands and barnyard animals humor for this
pick.  It would have been funny, but I figured it'd just be another
sheep shot.  So, playing this one straight and smut-free, look for
CSU to RAMrod the homeboys in Provo.  And, "ewe" heard it here
first.  Colorado State by 7.

Kentucky vs South Carolina
UK QB Jared Lorenzen actually has a lot to be thankful for.  Even
though his body type doesn't suggest the position, he's been allowed
to play and prosper as the Wildcats' field general.  It's probably a
good thing that he didn't sign at South Carolina, because skinny Lou
Holtz would never have had so much compassion for the calorie-
challenged lad.  Jared would have found himself on a great big
hamster treadmill about 25 hours a day until he got below 250.  THIS
Thursday night may actually seem like some sort of weight reduction
plan instigated by the aerobic USC defense, but it's got nothing to
do with the QB's girth.  South Carolina is just looking to fatten up
their conference record with some Columbia buffet home cookin'.
Gamecocks by 8.

Friday, October 10, 2003
TCU vs South Florida
The TCU Horny Toads have not traveled well in 2003.  It's not that
they've actually been losing on the road, it's just that they've
redefined "mediocre win" in shades of Fort Worth purple.  Speaking of
colorful settings, Tampa is not the sort of place that anyone should
be bringing less than an A minus effort in 2003.  The USF Bulls may
just present the sort of bump on TCU's conference road that will
require a post-season destinational detour.  South Florida by 3.

Michigan vs Minnesota
The word that most Wolverine supporters would have to apply to last
weekend's half two collapse in Iowa City would be "embarrassing".
And, even though this contest is also far away from Ann Arbor, I
don't see Michigan embarrassing themselves again.   It's not that I
don't think the maize and blue have a few more stinker performances
to offer in 2003.   It's just that we probably won't see two in a
row...especially in Minneapolis on Friday night.   Michigan by 2.
Thursday, October 9, 2003

Saturday, October 11, 2003
Syracuse vs Virginia Tech
Tech fans may prefer the Hokie moniker to their previous designation
as "Gobblers".  But, that's not going to keep Paul Pasqualone and
company from crying fowl when they arrive in the Blacksburg turkey
yard.  Look for the local Hokies to beat the living cranberry sauce
out of Syracuse on Saturday.  Tech by 14.

Boston College vs Temple
Rumor has it that the BC Eagles are on the fast track to 2004 ACC
membership.  That development is something that should please most of
the Philadelphia-area college football fans this weekend.  Look for
the Temple Owls to say good riddance to Boston College as they absorb
one last conference clubbing at the Eagles' hands.  (And, for all you
jackasses who'll write to tell me that Eagles have talons and claws,
and not hands.....it's JUST a figure of speech. :)  BC by 12.

Kent State vs Marshall
The Thundering Herd's Mid-America Conference domination isn't as
complete as it once was.  But, Kent State has contributed little to
Marshall's MAC decline.  This weekend, I believe the Herd will flush
the Flashes in the usual flashy manner.   Marshall by 16.

Notre Dame vs Pittsburgh
Tyrone Willingham may not be a genius, but he IS a good coach.  He's
the sort of fellow who knows his teams' strengths and limitations.
And when you're the head man at Notre Dame, you know that you can
always count on one or two miracles per year.  Fan discontent and
displeasure is on the rise around the Golden Dome, but I still don't
see Ty calling in one of his papal trump cards for this road
encounter in Pittsburgh.  The Irish always save their most miraculous
surprises for highly rated visitors TO South Bend.  So, off in the
non-holy empire of western Pennsylvania, I see more "same-old same-
old" for the Irish.  Pitt by 9.

Duke vs Maryland
Rumor has it that Duke was one of the ACC conference schools that did
NOT support the idea of taking Notre Dame into the conference on
a "limited basis".  But, the reason that the Irish and the ACC just
didn't hook up is actually more complex.  Duke was actually insisting
that any invitation TO Notre Dame also include an excommunication
(from the ACC) of Florida State, Maryland and NC State, in football
only (of course). :)   Then again, maybe the Terp basketball program
should go, too.  Maryland by 21.

Nevada vs Washington
Well, AS poorly as the Prophet did last week, he DID nail the UCLA
upset of Washington.  Huskie (husky??) fans have to be disappointed
in the manner that their team has gone to the dogs, so to speak.
This weekend should provide some comic relief, however, with the
Nevada Wolfpack playing rawhide toy to Washington's playful puppy.
Nevada's not a whole lot better than that high school team that ex-UW
coach Neuheisel is volunteer coaching.   Speaking of Rick, something
tells me that some folks around Seattle may be beginning to rethink
their prohibition on coaches' participation in harmless office
pools.  Washington by 17.

San Diego State vs Utah
Salt Lake City will, on Saturday, play host to a contest between two
tribes of Native North Americans.  And while SDSU's namesake Aztecs
were famous for their human sacrifice rituals, I believe it'll be the
hometown Utes running the bloodletting concession at this game.
Tossing State from the top of the SLC temple, call this one Utah by
14.

Stanford vs USC
One of the funniest things former Trojan coach John McKay ever did
was to call Stanford "The Radcliffe of the West".  In one little
insulting sentence, Johnny Mac labeled Stanford as both snotty and
feminine.  Well, Tampa John is long dead, but his laughs live on.
And after what happened the last time SC hooked up with anyone or
anything from the bay area, I don't believe present head honcho Pete
Carroll will crack a smile until this game is well in hand....which
it should be by the early second half.  Trojans by 21.

Penn State vs Purdue
I don't know if Penn State has any real chances to beat Joe Tiller's
Boilermakers this Saturday in West Lafayette.  But, I'll bet that Joe
PATERNO could use a boilermaker or two before and after the game.  Is
this the week that there's a tie at the top of division-1's all-time
coaching victories list?  Look for Penn State to do THEIR part to
knot things up.   Purdue by 11.

Michigan State vs Illinois
From a pun standpoint, it's really too easy to say that Michigan
State QB Jeff Smoker has been on fire in recent weeks.  However, I do
have the burning feeling that the Spartans are going to torch the
Illini's tee-pee pretty quickly this Saturday.  Striking my match for
Smoker and company, call this one State by 15.

Northern Illinois vs Central Michigan
NIU almost fell victim to an upset last weekend, which would have put
an end to their BCS nose-thumbing plans.  So on this visit to
Chippewa country in Central Michigan, look for the Huskies to be the
ones doing a war dance from the opening whistle.  Biting back a week
after they almost got bitten, NIU wins big.  Dogs by 20.

Kansas vs Colorado
New Jayhawk boss Mike Mangione is already beginning to turn things
around in Lawrence.  An earlier-season victory over the Missouri
Tigers was trumpeted throughout the Big XII as a statement being made
by KU.  Now, any statement that is made by beating Mizzou is hardly a
shout, but there's no denying that Kansas is on the rebound.  On the
OTHER side of "rebound", we find the critically ill Colorado
Buffaloes.  Certainly, injuries have played a major role in the
Buffs' demise.  But, there's something else that seems to be missing
from the black and gold.  We may not even get an answer this year,
either.   It's beginning to remind me of the old joke about the
doctor telling a patient that his best option might be an autopsy.
Maybe the Boulder medical examiner should be on-call for Saturday
night.   Kansas by 12.

Nebraska vs Missouri
A lot of Cornhusker fans are beginning to believe that Big Red might
really be "back".  There's no denying that the blackshirt defense of
years past has resurfaced in Lincoln.  The Tigers of Missouri may not
have AS storied a football past, but they've also had success in
bygone years.  Folks in Columbia also believe that they are "back",
too.   Unfortunately on Saturday, the Tigers are not going to be
as "back" as is Nebraska.  Look for the Huskers to jerk a knot in the
Tigers' tails on what is perhaps the road to the Big XII title
game.   Nebraska by 14.

Eastern Michigan vs Toledo
The Toledo Rockets have lifted into a high MAC orbit for much of this
year.  The real question as to their future will be their "space
race" with Northern Illinois.  As for this Saturday, the only thing
launched will be the Hurons of Eastern Michigan.  Look for the Toledo
team and crowd to enjoy a countdown to an easy home victory.
Rockets by 24.

Georgia Tech vs Wake Forest
OK, OK...  I'll get off Reggie Ball's case.  I've squeezed enough
mileage out of his "we're not going to lose again" comment of several
weeks ago.  It was funny, it was stupid..and we all had a good laugh
at his expense.  There hasn't been as much general laughter in
Winston-Salem in recent weeks, as the Demon Deacs have made a habit
of coming close, but not close enough.  Maybe THEY need someone to
brashly step forward, as did Tech's young QB.  Then again, maybe
this "someone" will need to wait until next week to make any "Wake
has lost for the last time" statements.  Saturday won't be a good
starting point for such a seasonal redirection.  Georgia Tech by 3.

Virginia vs Clemson
As we all suspect, 2003 is probably going to be the end of the
Bowden "era" in Clemson.  Tommy's career at CU started out with a
bang, but it's softly slipping away in muted median stripes.  Al Groh
and his Virginia Cavaliers, OTOH, appear seriously poised to take the
next step, moving into the hierarchy of what is about to become one
of America's better football conferences.  Good times are truly ahead
in Charlottesville.  However, even IF he's done after this year, I'm
not sure that Tommy Bowden's good times in Clemson are completely
over.  In fact, I have a whiff of some fun coming his way THIS very
Saturday up in South Carolina.  I do not believe UVA is seriously
focused on Clemson, and that can be very dangerous.  You should never
turn your back on a Tiger, even one with very few teeth.  In an
upset, Clemson by 2.

Connecticut vs NC State
The Connecticut Huskies are ambling into Raleigh to hook up with
their distant canine relatives, the NC State Wolfpack.  And although
both teams may be product of similar genetic material, Chuck Amato's
DNA is of a wilder variety.  Look for the Connecticut Yankees to have
a rough go of it in King Chuck's Court.   NC State by 10.

Arkansas State vs Mississippi
The Ole Miss Rebels are a tough team to figure.  Other than Eli
Manning's ability to fling the football, there is no gridiron
constant in Oxford.   David Cutcliffe's Rebs are just good enough to
beat the Florida Gators two years in a row.  But then again, they're
just bad enough to lose to Memphis, surrendering a double-digit
second half lead.  The question on Saturday is whether Ole Miss is
bad enough to lose to lightly-regarded (with good reason) Arkansas
State.  The possibility of such an atrocity is more real than the
preppies at Vaught-Hemingway would care to admit.  But, I still think
Ole Miss will manage to slip by the little Indians from Arky State.
Rebels by 18.

Navy vs Vanderbilt
One of the bigger surprises in 2003 college football has to involve
the Navy Midshipmen.  The Middies have stormed into the lead for the
coveted "Commander in Chief" trophy.  And right now, I don't see
anything or anyone who is going to seriously stand in their way.
However on Saturday in Nashville, I don't see the Commodores of
Vanderbilt handing out any trophies to the visitors from Annapolis.
Vandy won't likely dish out any decisive beatings either, but I do
believe the home guys will paddle by any naval blockades.
Vanderbilt by 2.

Army vs Louisville
Louisville's Cardinals had an unsuccessful migration down to the
Tampa area last weekend, and ended up getting their feathers ruffled
in a loss to South Florida.  Not to be outdone in birdish behavior,
the Army Cadets have been laying an egg throughout the season.  I
don't see Louisville having any difficulty securing a win in their
home nest this Saturday, even IF the Army program is "for the
birds".  Cardinals by 21.

Southern Mississippi vs Alabama
Part of Alabama's problem in last weekend's loss to Georgia was the
injury to starting QB Brodie Croyle.  Due to a separated shoulder
suffered late in the OT loss to Arkansas, Tide Coach Mike Shula had
indicated that Croyle wouldn't start, but would be available "if
needed".  WELL...Shula apparently decided that he "needed" Croyle at
the point Alabama fell behind by four touchdowns.  And, facing the
sort of all-out blitz that being behind by 27 points was JUST what
the ailing Croyle "needed", and he was more severely injured.   The
two plays that Croyle survived before again being hurt didn't
markedly affect the outcome of the game.  Thanks to Shula's decision
to "need" Croyle last weekend, Brodie now "needs" a few more weeks
rest before he can play again.  And speaking of "need", Alabama
really does "need" a schedule break.  The Eagles of Southern
Mississippi might provide the relief that the Tide record really
needs.   USM has "needs" of their own, also at the QB position.  I
truly believe that it'll be the Crimson Tide's "needs" that are met
on Saturday afternoon in Tuscaloosa.  Getting a badly needed win,
call this one Alabama by 7.

Baylor vs Texas A&M
Things have been looking up for the Baylor Bear athletic program.
First of all, nobody associated with any of their sport squads has
died in the last few weeks.  And even better, the Bears have been
winning football games.  Winning!  Sadly, things are about to grind
to a halt in College Station on Saturday.  Look for the Aggies to
kill off Baylor's recent win streak in front of the Kyle Field
faithful.   Aggies by 7.

Kansas State vs Oklahoma State
KSU QB Ell Roberson returned to the Wildcat lineup last Saturday.
And even though K-State failed to scratch out a win in Austin, I
believe that they've regained confidence in their team and season.  A
lot of people have been saying mighty fine things about State's
weekend road opponent, the Oklahoma State Cowboys.  After an early
season loss to Nebraska, the `Pokes have roped win after win.
Certainly Okie State has become a force with which one must reckon in
the talented Big XII.  That having been said, I think this game is
coming down to perception and perhaps misinformation.  The Cowboys,
all of their success aside, are still not riding in as big of a rodeo
as is being represented.  And the rumors of Kansas State's ultimate
demise may be a bit exaggerated.  Add it all up, and I find Snyder's
Wildcats back in the conference saddle come Saturday in Stillwater.
Kansas State by 3.

Oregon vs Arizona State
This game truly rates as a Pac Ten toss-up.  And speaking of toss,
I'd bet that fans of both squads are about ready to toss it in for
2003.  Both the Sun Devils and Ducks truly felt that they'd compete
for the conference crown, and might even make some BCS noise
nationally.  But here it is mid-October, and they're fighting it out
to see who remains in the hunt for a semi-respectable bowl
appearance.  Both clubs have wilted in the heat of battle in recent
weeks, although Oregon's collapse up in Salt Lake City was truly
depressing.  Considering that last Saturday's loss in Utah probably
parboiled Oregon's season, it's easy to imagine the desert heat of
Tempe adding a crispy brown to the finished dish.   Pressed duck,
anyone?   Arizona State by 3.

UCLA vs Arizona
Trouble is a-brewin', or should I say Bruin, as UCLA comes into town
riding a one game Pac Ten winning streak.  Now, if this were last
year, former Bear boss Bob Toledo would be crowing about the UCLAns
expected position in a BCS bowl, based on last week's win.  But, I
think that new coach Karl What's-his-name has a better head on his
shoulders.  He's smart enough to not be looking for a place to keep
the Sears Trophy just yet.  As for Aridzona, they'd kill for a two-
game conference winning streak.  Perspective, folks.   UCLA by 6.

Iowa State vs Texas Tech
This game culminates a fortnight of extremes for the Iowa State
Cyclones.   Last weekend, they faced possibly the strongest defense
in America, as they hosted the OU Sooners.  This Saturday, they
travel to Lubbock to face an offensive onslaught of biblical
proportions.  When you're an average (at best) team, the last thing
you want to face, especially on the road, is anyone who is the best
at something.  Look for the Red Raiders to ring up another of those
500 passing yard afternoons.  The thing that keeps it close is that
the TT "D" gives up points almost as fast as the offense scores
them.  Iowa State needs to find an opponent that's mediocre in all
facets of the game, don't you think?   Texas Tech by 11.

Ohio State vs Wisconsin
Barry Alvarez's Badgers have already had their shamefully
embarrassing moment in 2003, a home loss to the UNLV Running Rebels.
However, that does not guarantee any success in Madison on Saturday
against the defending national champs.  The Buckeyes are finally
getting Craig Krenzel, their starting QB, back on the field for their
first road action of the year.  So, look for Wisconsin to get another
dose of that same old "close but no cigars" that OSU has been handing
out to their last twenty or so opponents.  Ohio State wins a tight
one, with or without any cigars involved.  Buckeyes by 7.

Florida vs LSU
Look for Gator Coach Zook to be the second man who has a short name
starting with "R" to get mauled by a Tiger in the last two weeks.
Ronnie Z may not have the entire Sigfried and Roy magic show down
pat, but something tells me that he's about to perfect the
disappearing act in Gainesville.  Abra-cadabra....  LSU by 12.

Auburn vs Arkansas
I don't know what magic spell that Tommy Tuberville cast on his
Tigers last weekend, but they were an entirely different team than I
saw earlier in the year.  Maybe the Auburn faithful are right, and
maybe the Tigers ARE for real.  Maybe they're finally about to live
up to the hype.  Then again, maybe last Saturday WAS just magic.  You
know how it is when you go to a really good magic show, right?
What's the first thing you say to the magician after he pulls a
rabbit out of his hat?  "Do it again!"  Convince me, Tommy.  Arkansas
by 1.

Georgia vs Tennessee
Georgia and Tennessee are two SEC East powers who've had their
seasons fouled by cases of "cat scratch fever".  The Bulldogs got
their licking at the hands of LSU's Tigers, while Tennessee was
clawed last weekend by the Auburn Tigers.  Both sets of SEC-West cats
clearly exposed the weaknesses of the Bulldogs and Volunteers for all
to see.  Among the most interested observers in both cases would have
to be Vol Coach Phil Fulmer and Bulldog Boss Mark Richt.  Now, I'm
not saying that Phil can't see what LSU and Auburn showed to
everyone, but compared to Mark Richt, he's Helen Keller.  Mark is as
good as anyone at recognizing and exploiting exposed weakness,
especially in a defense.  As rare as it is, I see Tennessee losing a
second consecutive SEC contest Saturday in Knoxville.  Doesn't that
win in Gainesville seem like years ago?   Georgia by 3.

Oklahoma vs Texas
Before anyone accuses me of being anti-Texas, I want to protest.  I
used to live in the Lone Star state, and I love(d) the Texas
Longhorns.  They were my first favorite college football team.  I
still consider their victories over Arkansas and Notre Dame back in
the 1969-1970 season to be a fond memory.  I still remember James
Street, a GREAT wishbone quarterback.  (You gotta admire a guy who
wants to be called "James" instead of Jim or Jimmy...kind of like the
difference between James Dean and Jimmy Dean)   Anytime I'm talking
Texas, I usually take a trip down memory lane.   But when it comes to
memories, this year's Texas squad specializes in the short variety.
They're allowing one little last-minute HOME victory over Kansas
State essentially erase all past Mack Brown big-game sins.  The
Arkansas loss earlier this year is treated as if it happened years
ago.  Then again, maybe that's a good thing, a sort of mental defense
mechanism.  Perhaps later this year, Texas' upcoming win over Texas
A&M will be just the salve to soothe the pain of THIS Saturday's loss
to Oklahoma.   Mack versus Bob and Mike Stoopes?  C'mon guys, be
serious.  OU by 7.

Miami vs Florida State
A lot of people are focusing on Miami's lack of a running game as
being the key to a Seminole victory on Saturday.  But, how can you
say that UM doesn't have any running capabilities?  Kellen Winslow
has been running his mouth all year.  This is a huge game, and it
usually features a fair amount of smack talk in the week prior to
kickoff.   This year, all the verbiage has been coming from Dade
County.  It could be that Miami just IS supremely confident.  Nothing
in Larry Coker's tenure as coach would really give them any reason to
doubt themselves against Florida State, a sad but regrettable fact.
But then again, maybe all of this talk is an effort by UM to convince
themselves that the past will continue.  I can guarantee that most
Seminole fans feel a great deal of angst playing Miami for no other
reason than all that has gone on before.  For FSU to win, they just
have to focus on the short side of the game.  When presented with
opportunities, especially with a short field, Rix and company have to
score touchdowns, not field goals.  FSU also has to slow down Miami's
short passing game.  And most important of all, FSU's players need to
have short memories of past encounters with Miami.  It will be the
only way to win a close contest, which may be the case on Saturday
considering the awful weather being forecast.  If all of this comes
together, FSU could make reasonably short work of Miami and record a
win that we Seminole fans and grads will savor for a long, long
time.  I'm calling this one as FSU by 7.  But, here's one little
creepy caveat.....the closer the game gets, the better chance it will
be that hurricane season is extended in this series.  Want a score?
How about 28-21, FSU?

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON is
GAMES FORECAST 232
GAMES CORRECT 176
PCT CORRECT 75.9%
=============================================================
============ Bulletin ==============
THE PROPHET HAS BEEN CAUGHT SLACKING

As many of you know, I spent a long weekend in Kennebunkport, Maine
a few days ago.  Upon my return to Florida, we received a visit from
my in-laws.  This has severely cut into my "Prophet Time".  So, I'm
going to have to delay my picks for a couple more days.  The
following are the games of Thursday and Friday night(s).  Enjoy them
now, and I'll try to get the rest of the picks on the `net by
Thursday or Friday.  Thanks!
====================================

Thursday, October 9, 2003
Colorado State vs BYU
OK, sure....I've been struggling this year.  Things just don't seem
to be going Prophet's way.  But, have any of you noticed or
appreciated the (ever so slight) improvement in the overall timbre
of my humor.  I've called fewer people Nazis, and have only once
truly behaved in a homophobic manner.  I haven't even played the
race card.  However, it took all my new-found strength to not resort
to some sort of Mormon farmhands and barnyard animals humor for this
pick.  It would have been funny, but I figured it'd just be another
sheep shot.  So, playing this one straight and smut-free, look for
CSU to RAMrod the homeboys in Provo.  And, "ewe" heard it here
first.  Colorado State by 7.

Kentucky vs South Carolina
UK QB Jared Lorenzin actually has a lot to be thankful for.  Even
though his body type doesn't suggest the position, he's been allowed
to play and prosper as the Wildcats' field general.  It's probably a
good thing that he didn't sign at South Carolina, because skinny Lou
Holtz would never have had so much compassion for the calorie-
challenged lad.  Jared would have found himself on a great big
hamster treadmill about 25 hours a day until he got below 250.  THIS
Thursday night may actually seem like some sort of weight reduction
plan instigated by the aerobic USC defense, but it's got nothing to
do with the QB's girth.  South Carolina is just looking to fatten up
their conference record with some Columbia buffet home cookin'.
Gamecocks by 8.


Friday, October 10, 2003
TCU vs South Florida
The TCU Horny Toads have not traveled well in 2003.  It's not that
they've been getting beat on the road, it's just that they've
redefined "mediocre win" in shades of Fort Worth purple.  Speaking
of colorful settings, Tampa is not the sort of place that anyone
should be bringing less than an A minus effort in 2003.  The USF
Bulls may just present the sort of bump on TCU's conference road
that will require a post-season destinational detour.  South Florida
by 3.

Michigan vs Minnesota
The word that most Wolverine supporters would have to apply to last
weekend's half two collapse in Iowa City would be "embarrassing".
And, even though this contest is also far away from Ann Arbor, I
don't see Michigan embarrassing themselves again.   It's not that I
don't think the maize and blue have a few more stinker performances
to offer in 2003.   It's just that we probably won't see two in a
row...especially in Minneapolis on Friday night.   Michigan by 2.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
  College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON is
GAMES FORECAST  199
GAMES CORRECT    154
PCT CORRECT      77.4%
=============================================================
Thursday, October 2, 2003
West Virginia vs Miami
Thursday night marks the final visit by West Virginia to Miami, at
least during Miami's Big East tenure.  The Hillbillies haven't fared
too well with the UM during their Big East brotherhood. Traveling to
the Orange Bowl is never easy, and this year won't be any better for
the Mountaineers.   Be it on the football field, in the parking lot
or out on I-95, it's a cinch that West Virginia is going to get
themselves killed on Thursday night.  I wonder if you can get
a "frequent dier" card at the Dade County Coroner's office?   Miami
by 24.

Houston vs East Carolina
When ECU produces the "highlight video" for 2003, I'd suggest they
title it "Pirates of the Piedmont : The Curse of the Long, Long
Season".  Things haven't gone very well up in Greenville, but
there's (at least hope) for this Thursday evening.  The Pirates are
lining up across from a team that they actually have a slight chance
of beating.  You'll note, however, that "slight" is not the same
word as "good".  Houston by 3.

Friday, October 3, 2003
Oregon vs Utah
Normally, having their heads in the clouds would be a good and safe
thing for a flock of ducks.   But last Saturday in Eugene, it cost
Oregon's Ducks dearly, as they were pressed and roasted to a crispy
brown by the Washington State Cougars.  And while not discounting
the merits of Wazzoo, I really believe a lot of that loss had its
seeds in the previous week's win over Michigan.  The truth about
Oregon in 2003??   I think they're not as good as the team that beat
Michigan, and not as bad as the team that was scalded by Washington
State.   That should make them just good enough to fly by Utah's
Utes in a close contest.  Dux by deux.

Saturday, October 4, 2003
===== Bulletin =====
October 4th is my 23rd wedding anniversary.  I know that many of you
find it almost impossible to believe that any woman would love and
live with me for 23 days, much less 23 years.  But Lady Prophet
continues to endure and even prosper.  And, she loves college
football nearly as much as I do.  In honor of our 23rd, I am
emulating my beloved FSU Seminoles, and have scheduled a "bye
week".   Instead of camping in front of ESPN Gameplan all day
Saturday, my wife and I are traveling to Maine for a long weekend of
foliage, colonial inns and lobster.  Hopefully, the rest in New
England will render me more capable than ever of predicting college
football, as we head into the meat of the schedule next Saturday.
Here are this week's Saturday picks:

Richmond vs Maine
As you've just read above, Prophet and his lovely lady will be
spending this weekend up north.  So, that means that the great state
of Maine will be hosting TWO winners on Saturday.  I'm making a call
on this game as a favor to my New England hosts, and I'm predicting
good news for the Black Bears.   Call it UM by 7.

Jackson State vs Florida A&M
The Florida A&M Rattlers have won their last two football games by
the absolute skin of their collective teeth.  Both wins were last-
play wonders.  Unfortunately, the Rattlers' play in each game's
first 59 minutes and 58 seconds has so disgusted their fans as to
almost completely empty the home stands shortly after halftime.  So,
there is good news times two in Tallahassee this weekend.  FAMU will
win this game sooner, rather than later.   And, that means that
perhaps a few thousand more fans will actually see it happen.
Florida A&M by 7.

Virginia Tech vs Rutgers
Here's a "one last trip to Jersey" Saturday for Virginia Tech.  With
next year's move to the ACC, these little hook-ups with Rutgers are
being reduced to fond memories.  The 2004 scenery will change for
the Hokies, but it doesn't mean they're going to miss out on the
annual chance to take out the conference trash, so to speak.  If you
dress the Scarlet Knights in blue and teach them to say "y'all"
instead of "yous guys", they turn into Duke.   As for any mystery on
this weekend in New Jersey?   Fuhhhhhgettaboutit.   Tech by 24.

Wisconsin vs Penn State
I think we're beginning to see the end of the road for Joe Paterno.
Surely, the winningest coach in Division-1 history isn't going to
want to keep coaching during what is obviously becoming a rebuilding
operation.  JoPa has lost three games in his lead over #2 on the all-
time list since the beginning of the season, and now only leads by
one win.  The good news is that Joe won't be tied on THIS Saturday.
But, he may still be "fit to be tied".  Staying in the lead because
of FSU's bye week, Penn State loses again, this time by 9.  It may
be time for a Prozac refill at the old Happy Valley pharmacy.

Air Force vs Navy
Way back in the 1960's, I was fortunate enough to attend a football
game between Air Force and Navy.  (I lived in Colorado Springs at
the time).  The pageantry and patriotism is something that I
remember and enjoy to this day.  Things were a bit different back
then, though.  Navy was really good, and Air Force stunk.  Times
change.   Falcons by 21.

Clemson vs Maryland
Tommy's Tigers got a gift two weekends ago.  They found themselves
an easy win against a conference opponent more focused on "talking
the talk", namely Georgia Tech.  But, the bad news for TB and
company is that Rotund Ralph and his reptiles are more of the "walk
the walk" variety football team.  So, look for Maryland to walk over
Clemson at home this Saturday in College Park.  After a two week
absence, the sharks in Death Valley should be circling again after
Clemson's 10 point loss on Saturday.

Arizona vs Washington State
The brass at Arizona finally took action this week.  Sick of
watching their beloved Wildcats wither and die, they sacked coach
John Macovic, replacing him with the team's defensive coordinator.
And, while the new guy will probably get along better with his
players, the change isn't going to equal victory Saturday in
Pullman, unless the folks at UA are willing to replace all their
players, too.  Wazzoo gives it to Arizona big-time Saturday, Cougars
by 17.

Oregon State vs California
One factor in Cal's upset win over USC last weekend was
motivation....serious motivation.  Apparently, the SC faithful had
engaged in a little pregame victory dance and parade in Berkeley,
and the locals didn't care much for the assumption of victory.  The
shoe could be on the other foot a bit this Saturday, as the Beavers
of OSU waddle down from Corvallis.  But assuming that Coach
Teddington and his triumphant Bears can avoid any insulting pregame
celebration, they'll be reasonably assured of a happy post-game
party.  Cal by 8.

Washington vs UCLA
I just don't know about this game, folks.  It's just missing
something.   Last year, I could have had my fun in playing up the
Rick Neuheisel versus Bob Toledo thing.  You know my
shtick....cologne-laden west coast pretty boy going up against a
blustery, underachieving slob.   But now, UCLA is coached by Karl
Whats-his-name.  And I don't even remember the Husky leader's first
name.  So for the Prophet, this game is missing something really
big, namely the opportunity for serious humor.  Speaking of missing
something, the UCLA offense seems to missing everything.  So, I'll
leave it to all of you to figure out why I have this niggling little
notion that the Bruins are going to spring an upset.  Throwing
caution to the southern California winds, I boldly pick UCLA to win
at home, call it by 3.   And, when I'm wrong, maybe I'll be replaced
by someone that none of YOU can remember.

BYU vs San Diego State
Generalization doesn't always equal truth, but I think it's safe to
describe Brigham Young University and its students as "more
conservative" than average.  So, you've got to know they're going to
come across some sinful thought and practice in that they'll dislike
while in the San Diego area.  Unfortunately for the Cougars, some of
the debauchery is going to occur on the football field in their game
against San Diego State.  Look for the Aztecs to be a little too
liberal for folks of Provo persuasion on Saturday.  SDSU by 1.

UNLV vs Nevada
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.  Why the bit of wisdom?
Because in truth, ANYONE stupid enough to make a pick on a game
between two Nevada football teams is nuts.  I guarantee you that
every member of the Reb and Wolfpack teams already knows the point
spread, over/under and all that other crap involving this game.  The
Nevada QB and the UNLV defensive end probably have the same bookie.
OK, I've stated my subtle disclaimer for this pick.  UNLV's greatest
moment of this so-far young season was their road win
against "mighty" Wisconsin.  Nevada's greatest moment (so-far) in
2003 will be sharing the same field as the team that beat
Wisconsin.  UNLV is a better team, and should win this game.  Sure,
it's a rivalry game, but calling it a battle for Nevada is silly.
We all know that the Mafia controls Nevada.   So, assuming that it's
not a matter of disrespect, let's call for what ought to happen.
Look for the Wolfpack to get whacked in their hometown by some out-
of-town muscle from Vegas.  Running Rebs by 8.

Minnesota vs Northwestern
Last weekend found Minnesota and Northwestern on the opposite end of
the Big Ten "hole", so to speak.  The Gophers were digging
themselves a conference win, and extending their successful season
at the same time, beating Joe Paterno's anemic Nittany Lions.  And
Northwestern??  They were getting buried over in Columbus.  Look for
more of the same on both issues THIS Saturday.  I see the Wildcats
being at the bottom of the hole, while the Gophers continue
shoveling dirt on top of them.  Dig that??   Minnesota by 7.

Indiana vs Michigan State
OK, I'll get off Jeff Smoker and the MSU Spartans.  They've
apparently kicked their habit of underachievement and are on the
straight and narrow path of righteous victory.  I guess Jeff just
had to get all the chemicals out of his system before he could start
finding his receivers among all the paisley elephants running around
in the secondary.  Hopefully for Smoker and his Spartan supporters,
he can stay on the wagon, and will drive State to greater glory.
Speaking of depressants, I'd say the Indiana Hoosiers are a Class
III controlled pharmaceutical in their own right.   Other teams seem
to be in the HABIT of beating them, right??  Therefore, I'm
prescribing a 14 point home victory for Michigan State.

Troy State vs Nebraska
Last Thursday night, the Cornhuskers roughed up Southern
Mississippi, a team that goes by the motto "anyone, anytime,
anywhere".  It's part of USM's move to become more prominent in
college football.  This weekend's NU victim seems to be operating
under the same premise, traveling all over America in search of
beatings from high-profile programs.  The result on Saturday in
Lincoln will be more of the same seen last Thursday in Hattiesburg.
Look for the game but undermanned boys from the south to go down
quickly.   Nebraska by 21.

Akron vs Miami(OH)
The Mid American Conference has certainly ravaged the football world
in early 2003.   Time after time, MAC teams have ambushed and burned
bigger name opponents.  As for this pick between two MAC members,
let's just consider this....Akron's team goes by the "Zips"
moniker.  And, it's an appropriate name because that's what Akron
has contributed to the MAC's out-of-conference success.  Zip.  And
on Saturday against Miami, that's the chance that they have.  Zip.
Red Hawks by 21.

Fresno State vs Colorado State
FSU-West's canines are headed into Fort Collins, in search of
employment.  And although BULLdogs are not specifically trained for
herding sheep, they'll be able to do the job on Sonny Lubick's lost
flock.  The bad news is that if Fresno doesn't stay on task, they
might do a little more hurting than herding on their Colorado
vacation.  However, I see them playing the role of wooly boogers up
in the Rockies, so look for the Bulldogs to growl away with a 10
point win.

Michigan vs Iowa
After last weekend's East Lansing surprise, you gotta figure that
Iowa is looking to get even with the state of Michigan.  And while
revenge is certainly an admirable emotion in sports, the Wolverines
are definitely the wrong target against whom to right any past
wrongs.  Lloyd Carr and company have already had enough bad
surprises on the road this year, and I don't see them putting up
with any foolishness on Saturday.  Wolverines by 6.

Illinois vs Purdue
Both Illinois and Purdue experienced turning points in their season
openers.   The bad news for the Illini is that the two teams turned
in opposite directions.  Building some momentum in the Big Ten race,
look for the Boilermakers to stay on track Saturday in West
Lafayette.  Purdue by 16.

NC State vs Georgia Tech
A couple of weeks ago, Tech QB Reggie Ball declared that Georgia
Tech would "win out", going undefeated through the rest of their
schedule.  Since that point, the Jackets have gone 1-1, which is
actually an improvement over the first three games of the season.
But looking back, I'm beginning to think that Reggie was looking at
somebody else's schedule, don't you?  NC State has shown a
propensity to surrender points ALMOST as fast as they score them.
The key phrase is, of course, ALMOST.  The Tech "D" might be able to
hold Phil Rivers and company to 35 points, but I don't see any way
in Hades that Mr. Confidence and company are going to post 36.
Wolfpack by 7.

Mississippi vs Florida
Our local newspaper recently stated that UF freshman QB Chris Leak's
next "challenge" will be Ole Miss leader Eli Manning.  Now, I admit
that Chris' comparison to Eli will be a nice measuring stick for a
young fellow who's going to be a great QB.  But "challenge" seems a
little dramatic, don't you think?  Then again, Eli might be more of
a challenge for Chris than the Rebel secondary.  Last weekend, Texas
Tech proved that the Ole Miss "D" is full of holes.  So, it
shouldn't surprise anyone to see them spring another "leak" on
Saturday.  Gators by 14.

Virginia vs North Carolina
The Cavaliers have to be excited about the return of senior QB Matt
Schaub to their lineup.  His leadership and talent have been sorely
missed.  I understand that his shoulder is still pretty tender.
Assuming that to be the case, I'd say this will be another week of
consistent convalescence for the Wahoo signal-caller.  That North
Carolina defense is going to be the next best thing to a cortisone
shot.  Speaking of "shots", I don't think the Heels have one on
Saturday, even at home.  Virginia by 14.

Vanderbilt vs Mississippi State
The Starkville Bulldogs now, apparently, have the NCAA's longest D-1
losing streak.  Or maybe it's ONE of the longest.  Whatever.  When
I'm writing this newsletter, I just don't have time to get my facts
straight. <g>   Anyway...Mississippi State also has a 9-game SEC
losing streak.  And while that sounds awful, it's nothing compared
to what Vanderbilt has achieved over the past 5 years.   Their
present conference futility has reached 19 games.   So, the question
is whether Vanderbilt is going to stand by idly while the Bulldogs
threaten their prominence at the bottom of the SEC.   Focusing for a
moment on another sport, you know that putting aside all
that "sportsmanship" nonsense, it's a sure thing that Roger Maris
would have put a banana peel on the clubhouse steps to keep Mark
McGwire from breaking his home run record.  I figure Vandy will do
the same on Saturday.  The hard part will be figuring out a way to
lose to Jackie Sherrill's pound puppies.  It'll be a challenge, but
the Vandy kids are smart.   Mississippi State by 1.

Tennessee vs Auburn
After a disastrous start, Tommy Tuberville's Tigers have perhaps
righted their ships.  Even with the precipitous drop in the polls,
Auburn remained undefeated within the SEC, and are now a major
factor in the race for the western title.  Confidence is important,
and maybe even sexy, as James Coburn used to say in those cheesy
Aqua Velva commercials.  But before War Eagle expectations soar too
high, we have to remember that Auburn hasn't beaten ANYBODY who's
actually worth a damn yet.  And, they're still as one-dimensional as
a Jennifer Lopez movie.  Three things killed them opening night
against USC.  Number one, they absolutely could NOT throw the ball.
They still can't.   Number two, the USC defense was active and
mobile.  Their speed easily matched that of Auburn.  And number
three, USC was able to move the ball effectively via both the run
and the pass.  In other words, they were balanced.  As for this
weekend?   Well, let's just say that Tennessee kind of reminds me of
USC, only Tennessee might be a little bit better.  (sorry, Fred)
The opening nightmare that Tiger fans are hoping to erase from their
collective memories might just be back on Saturday, wearing bright
orange "T"s on their helmets.  Even on the road, I'm calling this a
win for Tennessee.  Volunteers by 7.

Colorado vs Baylor
When I saw the Buffs in Tallahassee two weekends ago, I realized how
decimated they were due to injuries.  It's true that Colorado may
have more than half their team on the disabled list.  But based on
some of the things I've heard coming out of Waco, some of Baylor's
players may actually be dead.  Oh sorry, my bad...those stories were
about basketball players.  But, you can certainly see my
confusion..the Bears haven't exactly played like live wires this
year.  Injured or not, CU gets another win on the road this
Saturday.  Buffalo Ralphie and company should graze long enough for
a 9 point conference win.

Army vs TCU
If I'm not mistaken, military academy cadets undergo some form of
survival training during their time in school.  So, I'm sure that
the Army boys have been faced with the prospect of eating frogs.
Unfortunately on Saturday, Army will probably lose the numbers game
in Fort Worth.  There's just going to be too many frogs to swallow
for the Cadets to have any chance of surviving with a win.  TCU by
14.

Texas A&M vs Texas Tech
The Red Raiders have given up more point this year (by far) than the
Aggies have scored.    So, here's the question that'll solve this
contest's equation....is the Tech defense bad enough to make A&M
respectable offensively?  Almost.  Texas Tech by 3.

Oklahoma vs Iowa State
OK, this pick is going to be our audience participation special for
the week.  Can any of you think of any reason that Oklahoma will
have any problem winning this game by a large margin?  Road game?
Come on, we're talking about a team that lost to Northern Illinois
last weekend.   Oklahoma could beat them on Neptune.   Big game
against Texas next week, maybe the Sooners are looking ahead?
Maybe, but something tells me that OU will still be able to stop
laughing long enough to clobber the Cyclones.  OK, since none of you
can think of any reason NOT to pick OU big, I'll admit that I can't
either.  Look for the Cyclones to be the ones getting blown away
Saturday in Ames, as Bob Stoopes' Troops take aim at another Big XII
win.   Sooners by 28.

USC vs Arizona State
All it took to move the SC Trojans from (near) the top of the
football polls to last place in the Pac Ten was a quick trip to the
bay area.   The Men of Troy HAD been livin' large on their out-of-
conference success in 2003.  Now, in just this first week of
October, Pete Carroll and company find themselves in the prickly
situation of being out-of(the)-conference race if they stumble one
more time.  If USC wants to do something about those upstarts up in
Pullman, they'd best take care of business Saturday in Tempe.  On
the road again, with a little bit better result, call this one Tin
Soldiers by 12.

Alabama vs Georgia
This game will be some serious sheet, folks.  Alabama is coming off
two consecutive home losses, one of them being a conference flop
where they pissed away a 21 point third-quarter lead. Georgia has
had two weeks to stew over their loss in Baton Rouge.  Both teams
will be in no mood for compromise, and can be expected to give no
quarter.  My local newspaper had a story today of interest in
picking this game.  Apparently, some Crimson Tide fan held a gun to
his son's head and pulled the trigger, following Alabama's wrenching
loss to Arkansas.  Keeping in step with the Tide's recent
performance, he somehow and thankfully missed.   But, that story
sums this game up.  The folks in Georgia ARE angry and ready to get
back to winning football games.  But to my knowledge, nobody's
started shooting at their kids yet.  Call this one a desperate upset
win for Alabama and little coach Shooola.   Crimson Tide by 1.

Kansas State vs Texas
The Longhorns, under their mediocre leader Mack, have a well-
documented pattern of collapse in "big games".  So, to decide about
this weekend's contest with K-State, we just have to decide if the
contest is big enough to warrant predicting another Brown-out in
Austin.  Looking a little further into the crystal ball, it may be
that THIS game isn't the real story.  It's actually what will happen
next week for (or perhaps to) Texas.  NEXT Saturday brings a trip to
Dallas, accompanied by the annual Sooner swoon.  With such a
momentous and nightmarish thought in their heads, is it not possible
to imagine Texas losing two games in a row?   This could be the
beginnings of a true Big Mack attack, or should I more correctly
say "Big Mack Combo"?   In an upset, Ell Robertson returns and leads
K-State, with a helping hand from the Cat defense, to a road victory
in Austin.   Kansas State by 3.

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THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON is
GAMES FORECAST 	        164
GAMES CORRECT    131
PCT CORRECT      79.9%
=============================================================
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Nebraska vs Southern Mississippi
So far this year, both the Cornhuskers and Golden Eagles have been
somewhat disappointing to their fans.  For USM, it started with a
two point trip out to Berkeley.  As for Nebraska, the problem also
has two points.   The first point is that the Huskers aren't winning
enough.  And the second?   When they DO win, it's butt-ugly.
Thursday night will mark a change for one of these clubs.  After the
ESPN telecast ends, one group of fans will step up from grumbling to
growling.  It's also a guarantee that whoever wins this game WILL
win it ugly.  But, the loser is going to look even worse.  Turning
up the southern heat on Solich, look for USM to start this weekend's
college action off with a bang.  In an upset, Southern Miss wins at
home, call it by 3.

Saturday, September 20, 2003
Connecticut vs Virginia Tech
After fiddling around for thirty minutes with Texas A&M last
weekend, the hometown Hokies cranked things up and flushed the
Aggies in the second half.  Speaking of flush, which leads us to
thoughts of water, the remnants of Hurricane Isabelle didn't make
things very pleasant in Blacksburg.  The Hokies can only hope
they'll be as successful with another group of Hurricanes later in
the year.  But for Saturday, look for UConn's Huskies to get an
unwelcome bath at Lane Stadium, hurricane winds or not.  Hokies by
16.

Missouri vs Kansas
The Tigers of Mizzou probably thought they'd get last weekend off.
All they had to do was take care of business with a little-known
Middle Tennessee team that was headed into Columbia.  Well...
several overtimes later, the cats escape with a 1 point win.  As for
their opponent THIS weekend, the KU Jayhawks are coming off a much
softer Saturday.  Then again, they did schedule a division 1-AA
team.  Saturday should find things getting a bit more serious in
Lawrence.  This is Big XII time for the Hawks and Tigers, so as they
say...it counts.  And for Missouri, the conference race can't start
soon enough.   Those out-of-conference games are beginning to take
their toll, you know.   Look for Kansas to give Mizzou what MTSU
couldn't or wouldn't do last weekend, namely a day off.  An easy
start to a long conference season finds Missouri clawing themselves
a 12 point win on the road.

Indiana vs Michigan
They say that those who fail to study history are doomed to repeat
it.  That was certainly true last weekend, as Michigan continued the
disturbing historical inability of the Big Ten to defeat the Pac Ten
on the road.  So, perhaps Lloyd Carr and company need to spend a
little extra time reading their history books.  And while that's
perhaps a bit dry, there is good news.  History books are usually
divided into specific chapters.  And, the chapter regarding home
conference games against lesser members of the Big Ten has a much
happier ending for the big M.  Getting things right again in the big
house, call this one Wolverines by 14.

Iowa vs Michigan State
When I missed the pick on last weekend's Michigan State-Notre Dame
game, I heard from a few Spartan fans after the MSU win.  But, the
victory in South Bend didn't disprove my theory that Michigan State
is, at best, mediocre.  It only enhanced my burgeoning distrust and
doubt as to Notre Dame's future.  As for this weekend, we find the
same average (at best) bunch of Spartans opening their home
conference slate against the Iowa Hawkeyes.  UNLIKE Notre Dame, the
Hawks ARE winners this year, and they're winners based on
performance and record, not reputation.  If the home fans want to
leave this game happy, they'd best bring videotapes of the Notre
Dame game to keep themselves occupied.  What's happening on the
field isn't going to be something they'll want to remember.   Iowa
by 12.

Northwestern vs Ohio State
Ohio State reminds me of Karl Wallenda.  Does anyone remember
Karl?   He was the daredevil who walked a tightrope in so many
famous places around the world, always without a net.  He walked
between the two towers of the World Trade Center, to my
recollection.  Well, everything was fine and dandy, and all agreed
that Karl was both brave and talented.   We sometimes forgot how
lucky he was, too.   Did you notice that I said "forgot" and
not "forget"?  Yep, one day Karl was tight-roping down in Puerto
Rico and up comes a little breeze.  Bye, Karl.  So, the only
question we really have to answer about Ohio State and their
continued tightrope act is whether Northwestern is a big enough
breeze to bring this show to a close.  FWIW, I don't think so, but
Buckeye fans had best look out below....I see some serious
windstorms up ahead.   Ohio State by 10.

Notre Dame vs Purdue
Have you noticed that people are not using words like genius around
Tyrone Willingham anymore?  In fact, after the two week flop against
anything involving Michigan, the words being used around South Bend
probably shouldn't be uttered in the shadow of "Touchdown Jesus".
Good thing that this one's on the road, huh?  Most teams strive to
develop consistency.  Notre Dame had better seek consistency in
something other than what they've been doing consistently for most
of this season.  Purdue by 10.

Iowa State vs Northern Illinois
THIS year, having Northern Illinois on your schedule is becoming the
football equivalent to finding out that your son has been named
grand marshall of the local Gay Pride parade.  It's just not good
news.  Will Iowa State join Alabama and Maryland in the "learned the
hard way" club?  Sure, why not?  Proving that three is not a crowd,
Northern Illinois adds another notch to their out-of-conference
belt.  Huskies by 7.

Maryland vs Eastern Michigan
Eastern Michigan returns home this weekend, and they're hoping to
help themselves to a vat of turtle soup, what with Ralph Friedgen
and his Terps coming into town.  However, the Chippewas might want
to re-read the evening menu. Considering that the Michiganders got
themselves routed last weekend by Navy (Navy??  Navy ??  Navy!!),
I'd say that there's some serious issue as to who is going to be
eating who on Saturday.  Look for Maryland to vary the recipe for
soup into something more like Chippewa Chowder.   Maryland by 30.

Florida vs Kentucky
If you live in Florida, you know how schizo Gator fans can be on
those sports radio call-in shows.  They can go from the highest
highs to the lowest lows in just a period of days.  And after last
week's loss in the swamp to Tennessee, we're on the downswing.  Most
of them have indicated that UF might only win two or three more
games this year.  THIS YEAR!  That's certainly gloom and doom.
But, the bad news for Kentucky is that THIS week's game is one of
the few that the doomsayers see as a win.  I wonder if UK fans ever
call sports radio shows?   Probably, but I'm betting it's usually in
basketball season.   Come to think of it, Gator fans might start
mentioning Billy Donovan more often than Ron Zook as the season
moves on.  I guess the state of Florida DOES need one basketball
school, right?  For this week, the Gates are also a football school,
dribbling themselves a 12 point win on the road in Lexington.

North Carolina vs NC State
The good news for North Carolina is that LAST week, NC State gave up
more offensive yardage to one opponent than the Tar Heels have
gained ALL year.  (or close, I realize that I'm probably
exaggerating a bit...) The BAD news is that LAST week, NC State also
won more games than the Tar Heels have all year. Look for the
Wolfpack to do a little something about that yardage problem this
week.  NC State by 17.

Louisiana-Lafayette vs North Texas
I saw that the Louisiana-Lafayette abbreviation on the ESPN score
ticker is "UL-LAF"....as in "you'll laugh".  I already see a smile
coming to the collective faces of North Texas' Mean Green.  Look for
the home folks in Big D to have a real giggle on Saturday.  It's no
laughing matter for UL-LAF, but this game should be a home team
laugher.  North Texas by 28.

TCU vs Arizona
I kind of hope that Arizona does NOT fire John Macovic at the end of
this season.  In fact, I'd like to see Dapper John get a five-year
contract extension.  From a strictly humor standpoint, it'd be
interesting to see exactly how bad a major conference football
program could actually become.  It only takes the right
coach.  : )   TCU by 20.

Minnesota vs Penn State
After watching parts of Penn State's first few games, it's apparent
that points are going to be hard to come by for the Nittany Lions.
That also means that Big Ten victories may be few and far between.
So, Joe's cats had best make hay while the sun shines, so to speak.
And, this weekend's forecast up in Happy Valley calls for sunshine.
Look for State to dig up both the Golden Gophers AND a conference
win.  PSU by 7.

Ball State vs Boston College
Before last week's game against Miami, all I heard anyone talking
about was how BC always gave UM fits up in Chestnut Hill.  Watch for
an upset, blah blah blah.  Well, I watched a lot of that game,
before becoming more interested in Northern Illinois-Alabama, and
all I saw was an Eagles team that was lucky to score any points at
all.  If the Eagles want to rule the Big East nest after the
Hurricanes and Hokies leave, they'd best get "on the ball".  This
weekend, that's what I expect to see happen.  Getting on and over on
(the) Ball Staters, call this one BC by 14.

Wake Forest vs Virginia
When Cavalier QB Matt Schaub was injured, Virginia's promising
season took a turn towards average.  Never one to discount any
possibility, UVA coach Al Groh has decided to seek divine help and
intervention, in an attempt to heal Schaub and the Cavs' season.
However, the locals may find that the revival show coming into
Charlottesville on Saturday isn't of the curative variety.  These
are Demon Deacons, and they're bringing a message from down below.
Virginia MAY need some preachin', but their Saturday prayers will go
unanswered.   Wake Forest by 2.

Toledo vs Syracuse
Forget al-Qaeda.  The true menace to life as we know it in America
has to be the Mid-America conference.  These guys have been ravaging
name conferences and programs right and left since this season's
opening shots were fired.  We'd better step up the NCAA alert status
to code orange.   But, that's not to say good things are in store
for the Orangemen.  Scoring another rogue terrorist win, look for a
MAC Rocket attack on Saturday.  Toledo by 3.

Navy vs Rutgers
OK, we had a little quiz on last weekend's Prophet, and it turned
out that we had the answer keyed in wrong.  Let's try again....

Which of the following events are LEAST likely to happen in our
lifetime(s)?

(A)Madonna will open-mouth kiss Yassar Arafat.

(B) The French will be right about something.  (Note...this seems
easy, but do remember that recipes and food preparation, as well as
nasty movies, are included in the broad criteria of "something".)

(C) Navy will win two football games in a row.

(D) Chris Rix will make only mature and intelligent life strategy
choices, with an emphasis on the needs and feelings of others.

(E) Notre Dame will join the Mid-America conference.  (maybe as a
means to start beating Big Ten teams??)

OK, I'll admit that this question is really a toss-up between "C"
and "E".  Here's the funny part, though....unlikely as it may
seem, "C" is actually going to happen on Saturday.  Look for the
Middies to drop their anchors in Jersey this Saturday...right onto
the helmets of the Scarlet Knights.  Navy by 2.

Arizona State vs Oregon State
Have you noticed the number of major college teams that have scored
only 2 points in a football game this year?   Last weekend, ASU hung
up the deuce in their contest at Iowa.  I'd expect things to be a
little better for the Devils on their trip into Corvallis.  But,
they're still going to have a problem involving 2 points.  That's
how many more points I see the OSU Beavers winning this game by.

South Florida vs Army  (just for you, Matt!)
Generally, sending a herd of prized Florida Bulls into the US
Military Academy would signal the makings of a king-sized barbecue.
However, considering USF's extra-tough cut, the Cadets had best be
sharpening up their butcher knives.  Otherwise, this might not be
the feast that anyone at West Point expects.  This game will be more
of a stampede than a barbecue.  South Florida by 14.

Stanford vs Washington
This may be one of those weekends that Stanford coach Buddy Teevens
wishes he'd stayed back at Tulane.  First of all, there was that
nifty domed stadium.  It would surely come in handy up in rainy
Seattle.   And second, road trips at Tulane rarely included hookups
with bad-ass squads like the Washington Huskies.  Buddy's career is
going to the dogs, even IF his salary is up, up, up.  Washington by
16.

USC vs California
One Trojan fan wrote to me and described this weekend's trip to
Berkeley as USC's "first big Pac Ten test"?   I'd agree with his
assessment, but I'd have to make a few little alterations.  First,
I'd subtract the word "big".   Next, I'd change "test"
to "cakewalk".  I'm not discounting the rivalry angle, but I'm
realistic.  A win is a win, but this racking of Cal is nothing more
than another "W", it doesn't add anything to USC's national
credentials.  SC will have to find somebody better before any
Trojans get tested.  Look for Professor Pete Carroll and his
proctors to flunk the Bears, call it USC by 21.

San Diego State vs UCLA
I wonder if UCLA Coach Karl Whats-his-name knows the name of the
Oklahoma punt return specialist yet?  The Bruin boss might have been
a slow learner last weekend in Norman, but he probably picked up
enough to avert another Uclan loss this week.  Winning at home, the
Bruins will defeat SDSU by 7 points.  I wonder if the BCS Godfathers
will claim that this visit to Pasadena by the Aztecs qualifies as
Mountain West participation in the Rose Bowl?  Don't laugh,
folks...anything can happen if lawyers and Congress are involved in
something.

Arkansas State vs Memphis
The Indians of Arkansas State head east towards Memphis for this
weekend's football action.  And, if they want the trip to be
successful, they'll stop just short of the mighty Mississippi, where
they'll stop and build a casino.  It's the only way for Arky State
to come up aces on Saturday.  Like the song says, "don't cross the
river if you can't swim the tide", or in this case, "beat the
Tigers".  Memphis by 14.

Texas Tech vs Mississippi
The Lubbock Red Raiders have to still be scratching their
heads....how could they gain 600+ yards of offense last Saturday at
NC State and yet lose?   And, they didn't just lose, they were
routed.  Oh well, if anyone knows anything about putting up big
offensive numbers and losing football games, it's Ole Miss.  The
only defensive stands that'll occur on Saturday will be IN the
stands, as the Reb and Raider fans try to defend the performance of
their respective defensive squads.  For a change, look for Tech to
gain yards AND win a football game.  Red Raiders by 7.

Georgia Tech vs Vanderbilt
True Tech freshman QB Reggie Ball learned the hard way last
weekend.  Reggie ran his mouth after a narrow loss in Tallahassee,
declaring that the Jackets wouldn't lose again in `03.  Now, I can
understand his confidence, heading into a confrontation with mighty
Clemson, but still....one must learn to do one's talking ON the
field.   Believe me, as an FSU fan, I completely sympathize with
teams experiencing stupid behavior at the QB position.   But, at
least Reggie's just a kid...he should grow up and out of such
silliness.   Speaking of growing, look for the Nashville fans to
grow tired of Reggie running around in the contest with their
Commodores.  RB's judgement may be lacking, but he's got the
necessary skills.   And after last weekend, he might just have
motivation, too.  Georgia Tech by 8.

South Carolina vs Tennessee
Tennessee's return to Knoxville, following their swamp victory, had
to be a thing of joy.  Factor in the Georgia loss at LSU, and things
are lookin' good in Big Orange country.  An easy win against South
Carolina would just be another positive step in what's shaping up as
a good 2003 at Tennessee.  No question that the Vols are a better
team than USC-East.   But, Phil Fulmer and company had best keep an
eye on evil Lou Holtz and his accomplice son Skipper.  These guys
are crafty and are expert motivators.  If UT shows up with less than
(at least) a C+ effort, they could lose this game of chicken with
the Gamecocks.  Panic not, rocky toppers....you're good to go this
Saturday.  Evil leprechaun or not, South Carolina loses this one by
at least 12.

Tulane vs Texas
Here's two interesting tidbits to consider about Longhorn trail boss
Mack Brown.  The first one is common knowledge....Mack has never won
a big or meaningful game in his coaching career.  But in spite of
this, he's never actually been fired, either.  2003 could be the
year that one of these hexes is broken for Mack, although I'm not
sure it'll be the one he chooses.  Nothing big happens on either
front this week.  Texas should be able to mop up any messes caused
by the Green Wave's watery visit to Austin.  Longhorns by 10.

New Mexico State vs New Mexico
The last time this many people were fighting over supremacy in New
Mexico, one side was being led by Pancho Villa.  And although nobody
outside of the Land of Enchantment remotely cares who'll win this
game, I've got to take the easy pickins' opportunity to record a
Prophet win.  So, look for the Lobos to lick the Aggies easily.
New Mexico by 17.

LSU vs Mississippi State
The Bulldogs of MSU have been moving the football pretty well this
year, averaging something like 450 yards per game.  But what has
happened to their defense?   I remember back when Joe Lee Dunn was
coaching D for Jackie Sherrill.  The Bulldogs were tough hombres
with Joe Lee calling the signals.   These days, they play more like
David Lee Roth is their defensive coach.  Speaking of the former Van
Halen frontman, look for the old "cradle to rock" in Starkville on
Saturday.   Nick Saban has his cats purring and they're ready for
another round of Bulldogs in their quest to win the SEC-West.  LSU
by 9.

Pittsburgh vs Texas A&M
Dennis Frangione's boys played pretty good football last Thursday
night, at least for three and a half quarters.  Then, as they
say...the wheels came off the Aggie wagon.   Things could and should
be a bit better this Saturday in College Station.  First, there
ain't no hurricane on the horizon.  And more importantly, there
ain't no Hokies on the opposite side of the field.  Winning at home,
call this one an upset victory for Dennis the Menace and his farm
boys.   A&M by 2.

Western Kentucky vs Auburn
This weekend finds the Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky headed into
Jordan-Hare.  I have to admit that "Hilltoppers" is one of the more
interesting and unique nicknames in the world of college sports.
Speaking of nicknames, Auburn could have called themselves
the "Holediggers" after the huge hole they dug to begin 2003.  It
may well take the entire season to get the Tiger program back to
level ground, but this weekend should offer some progress in that
direction.   Look for Auburn to use some of the dirt mined in the
WKU "hills" to get their hole a little more filled in.   Auburn by
16.

Florida State vs Duke
I just can't figure Chris Rix out.   He clearly doesn't get it.  In
case you don't know what I'm talking about, FSU's talented and
demented young QB has stirred up another hornet's nest in
Tallahassee by parking, not once but twice, in handicapped parking
spaces.  Now, Chris HAD a permit, which belonged to a relative of
his roommate(s)/adult host(s).  But, other than from a judgement
standpoint, we all know that Chris is not handicapped.  FSU Coach
Bowden has indicated that "running him in the morning doesn't seem
to be working, so we'll have to try something tougher".  Although it
shouldn't matter on Saturday, except of course to the point-spread
junkies, I'd look for Chris to "park" his non-handicapped ass on the
bench up in Durham, as Fabian Walker and Wyatt Sexton lead FSU to a
solid, if somewhat unimpressive victory over the Dookies.  Duke
football....now, THAT'S a group that could use a parking permit.
FSU by 16.

Arkansas vs Alabama
At this point in time, the race in the SEC-West is shaping up to be
a two-horse contest.  And unfortunately for the folks in Tuscaloosa,
neither one of the horses appears to be wearing crimson silk.  But
speaking of horses, the Tide fans might just ride Mike Shula out of
town with spurs if the mighty Tide were to lose three HOME games
before September even ends.  Arkansas ought to win this game, but
Alabama HAS to win it.  In an upset, Crimson Tide by 1.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
  THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
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  © 2003  P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON is
GAMES FORECAST  125
GAMES CORRECT    103
PCT CORRECT      82.4%
=============================================================
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Texas A&M vs Virginia Tech
Thursday night's ESPN feature game offers college fans the first
chance to truly evaluate the 2003 Hokie squad.  Tech has easily
throttled the first group of nobodies on their pre-conference slate,
but they've really done little more than what was expected.   The
Texas Aggies will present a more formidable challenge.  Speaking of
challenges, A&M boss Dennis Frangione might just want to re-route
the team plane in such a manner as to avoid Alabama airspace.  When
it comes to the opinion and admiration of the citizens of Alabama,
Deserter Dennis is right up there with those guys who moved that Ten
Commandments monument.   As for the prediction, THIS trip is going
to end badly for Coach Fran and crew, be it at the hands of Virginia
Tech or the Alabama Air National Guard.   Hokies by 12.

Saturday, September 20, 2003
West Virginia vs Maryland
After starting the season 0-2, Maryland's Terps finally turned the
corner last weekend, romping to an easy win over the Citadel.  And
speaking of corners, the Mountaineers of WVU will find themselves
cornered in College Park by rotund Ralph's revived reptiles.
Turning the corner to another big win, call this one Maryland by 16.

Kent State vs Penn State
After fifty-plus years in the coaching profession, Nittany Lion
coach Joe Paterno isn't one to let a little adversity get him down.
More than any other division-1 coach, JoPa has walked off the field
a winner.  So, I don't expect to have any recent "flashes" of
failure to faze Joe any more than I expect and "Flashes" from Kent
State to win on Saturday in State College.  Returning some joy to
Happy Valley, the Lions are once again kings of their jungle this
weekend.   Penn State by 24.

Central Florida vs Syracuse
The CFU Knights are leaving their orange juice-laden home territory
for northern New York this week, but they shouldn't feel too out-of-
sorts up in Syracuse.  This is, after all, "Big Orange" territory.
Speaking of orange juice, it's been quite a while since Paul
Pasqualone's Orangemen have beaten any pulp out of anyone of
substance, as they continue to fade into the middle of the Big East
pack.  The truth is that more teams have been putting the
old "squeeze" on Syracuse.   Central Florida, OTOH, appears to be an
up and coming program.  It's too bad that CFU has to make this trip
without the services of their starting QB, as the opportunity for a
statement game certainly existed.  Unfortunately on THIS weekend,
the statement that will be made, with regard to the Knights,
includes the word "almost".  Syracuse by 3.

Eastern Michigan vs Navy
As the Chippewas of Eastern Michigan paddle into the Naval Academy
on Saturday, you'd think the place would be a maritime nightmare for
them.  You'd think that the Middies would have the battleships and
destroyers to win a surface sea battle.   But, it's what's below the
surface that'll determine this game's winner.   And, by "below the
surface", I don't mean submarines.   I'm talking offensive and
defensive depth and speed, none of which could really be associated
with Navy football.  It's true that Navy has been pretty much of a
leaky ship lately.  But come on...you still have to figure them
capable of sinking a flotilla of Chippewa canoes, right?   Weighing
anchor for a rare win, call this one Navy by 3.

Tulane vs Army
Rolling in from the Big Easy, Tulane's Green Wave looks to buoy
themselves a Conference-USA win in West Point.  And speaking
of "waves", look for Army's fans to wave bye-bye almost as quickly
and often as the Cadet secondary waves bye-bye to the Tulane
receivers.   Green Wave by 24.

Idaho vs Washington
Now, Huskies aren't bred and noted for being guard or attack dogs.
But when the Vandals from Idaho come tipping around UW's Seattle
backyard, look for the home pooches to raise a ruckus all the same.
The Idaho band had best learn that "who let the dogs out" song, as I
think they'll be playing it for most of the game.  Washington by 21.

New Mexico vs Washington State
If the Wazzoo Cougars can climb up into the Rocky Mountains and
eviscerate a quality team like Colorado, I see no problems for them
in dealing with Wolves (Lobos) in their Pullman lair.  Look for UNM
to be howling on Saturday.....howling in pain.  Washington State by
16.

Stanford vs BYU
During last weekend's California-Utah matchup, the ESPN broadcast
crew kept talking about all the "money" that existed at neighboring
Brigham Young University.   Well, BYU certainly has solid financial
support and excellent facilities, but their weekend opponents from
Palo Alto opponents are far from being cash-poor themselves.
Unfortunately for the Cardinal, the only half-empty "vault" at
Stanford is the football locker room.  So on this weekend, the
simple economic statement is that "money + talent" will defeat "just
money".   Call it money in the bank, BYU by 6.

Arizona State vs Iowa
ASU's Sun Diablos journey eastward, away from their dusty and hot
homeland.   They'll play football Saturday in Iowa City, a climate
and locale totally different from Tempe.  And while the additional
humidity and vegetation may fascinate and amaze, it's the hometown
high pressure that'll forecast doom for the Arizonans.  Winning a
big intersectional contest, call this one Hawkeyes by 10.

California vs Illinois
Last weekend found the Golden Bears of Cal on the road in Indian
territory, fighting a skirmish with the Utes of Utah.  That campaign
turned costly, as the Pac-Ten ursa minors found themselves unwilling
partners in Utah's war dance.   This weekend finds Cal again dueling
with "native Americans", hooking up with the Fighting Illini of
Illinois.   And although smoking is heavily frowned on by most
Californians, UC might want to consider bringing along a peace pipe
or two.   After a second straight week of dodging arrows, look for
Cal to consider a hasty retreat from Champaign.   Illinois by 9.

Bowling Green vs Ohio State
Have you heard about Maurice Clarett?   He's not going to be playing
football this year.   And, he's apparently decided to challenge the
NFL's early entry policy, in an attempt to take his considerable
athletic talent and questionable intellect to the big show.   Sorry
to break away from the prediction business, but I wanted to make
sure you'd all heard the latest Maurice update.   Speaking of
updates, Ohio State had better update the way they're playing
football.    Their "close call of the week" strategy might have
resulted in a 2002 title, but that sort of lightning is truly rare.
The more likely result of playing lots of overtime games and close
contests will be a loss or two.   But, not this week.  :)   Heck,
OSU might even crank it up a notch when the BG guys hit Columbus.
EVEN without King Maurice in the lineup or on campus, look for the
Buckeyes to get it right THIS Saturday.   Ohio State by 20.

Arizona vs Purdue
With last weekend's win at Wake Forest, Purdue again avoids an 0-2
start.   The Boilermakers have never started 0-2 in the Joe Tiller
era.   The scary or unnerving part for Purdue fans had to be the
sense of relief that a victory over Wake Forest brought.   Now, no
slap at the Deacs, but let's face it....they ain't Michigan.  Then
again, they're probably better than Wisconsin, to drop a Big Ten
name or two.   The best news for Purdue on THIS home weekend is that
the visiting Arizona Wildcats are nowhere near as good as Wake
Forest.  So, look for "PU" to move to 2-1 with a solid home win.
Purdue by 12.

Marshall vs Kansas State
Kansas State and Marshall have a lot in common.   They've both had
good teams over the last few years, and have pushed hard to crack
the nation's true NCAA elite.  K-State has gotten pretty darned
close, actually.   And this week, the Herd and the Wildcats have
something else in common....they're both playing without their
number one signal-caller.  And for this game, that means that
Marshall DOESN'T have something that they'll desperately need in
Manhattan on Saturday, namely a prayer.  With the two injured QBs
cancelling each other out, look for KSU's other 21 starters to run
all over Marshall's guys.  Wildcats by 17.

North Carolina vs Wisconsin
The Wisconsin Badgers made fools of themselves last weekend, with a
little help from UNLV.  At home in Madison, big W couldn't even
score one little TD, succumbing by the ignominious score of 23-5.
Jeez, that sounds like an elimination game at the College World
Series!  But, while playing so miserably is just an occasional thing
for Wisconsin, their weekend foe has mastered the art of
disappointment over the last couple of years.  The Tar Heels will
take the lectern on Saturday, offering the home folks a seminar in
what it really means to be "average at best".  I suspect that
Wisconsin will choose an alternate, but not entirely unrelated,
career direction for their 2003 season...perhaps along the lines
of "slightly better than average".   And on Saturday, that line of
thinking will get things done at Camp Randall.   Badgers by 7.

Middle Tennessee vs Missouri
According to the World Wildlife Fund (the guys who made Vince
McMahon change the name of his wrestling organization to the WWE),
Tigers are an endangered species.   While that might be true in the
wild, the striped cats are prospering in and around Columbia,
Missouri.  In fact, the MTSU Blue Raiders will be up to their
collective necks in Tigers on Saturday.  I don't see any way the
Tennesseans will get out of town without getting savagely clawed and
mauled.   Mizzou endangers Middle Tennessee on Saturday, call it
Tigers by 24.

Wyoming vs Air Force
The University of Wyoming is justifiably proud of their state's
Cowboy heritage.  It's undoubtably a major factor in their selection
of a team mascot/nickname.  But, when they ride into Colorado
Springs on Saturday, it will be painfully obvious that the time of
the Cowboy has passed, at least with regard to Mountain West
football.  In the usual ironic way, look for the Air Force flyguys
to get it done on the ground this weekend.   Falcons by 10.

Kentucky vs Indiana
This is another one of those "great basketball matchup" games.  If
this occurs in the final four, we'd all be excited.  But on the
gridiron, the UK-IU match will be lucky to make ESPN Gameplan.  Oh
well, whether it's on the tube or not, look for Kentucky and Big
Jared to tune themselves a 7 point road win.

Pittsburgh vs Toledo
The MAC attack has felled quite a few unsuspecting members of "name"
conferences.   Every year, we find examples of MAC powers turning
their opponents "sure-win" plans into a loss.  So, I'd think that
traveling TO play Toledo would be mighty risky business for a team
such as Pittsburgh.   Mighty risky, actually.  When you have so much
to lose and almost nothing to gain, why in the world would you make
this trip?  Since Toledo is home to the Rockets, let's call this one
in space vernacular.  "Pittsburgh, we have a problem."  In an upset,
Toledo pulls another MAC attack.   Rockets by 3.

Miami(OH) vs Colorado State
Oh boy, is this another MAC attack?   Miami of Ohio has a proud and
storied football tradition, hence its nickname "the cradle of
coaches".  Unfortunately for the Red Hawks, the Rocky Mountains are
the oxygen-deprived graveyard of flatland football teams.  So, while
I don't dispute the possibility of Miami sneaking up on the Rams, I
doubt their ability to breath freely and effectively for a full four
quarters.  Chalk this win up to a decrease in blood oxygen
saturation.   Colorado State by 4.

Jacksonville State vs Kansas
My father is an alumnus of Jacksonville State University, so I have
to pick one of their games each year.  I try to find a contest where
they hook up with a D-1 foe of questionable talent, so as to make
the pick something other than shooting fish in a barrel.  But as you
can guess, it's tough to find JSU hooking up with a first division
competitor that they could actually defeat.  The possibility of an
upset would exist for this weekend's battle of birds in Lawrence,
but just barely.  The truth is that I'm just playing a little
chicken here, my friends.  The Gamecocks are going to get their
gooses cooked by the KU Jayhawks.  Ordering this one up as extra-
crispy, let's say Kansas by 30.

East Carolina vs Wake Forest
It's been a long time since anyone could paint the Demon Deacons as
bullies.   But this weekend in Winston-Salem, the pushy preachers
will play men to the Pirates' boys.  Now, some churches have had
problems with the man and boy genre of relationship, most notably
the Catholics.  And while WFU is run by the Baptist church, they'll
behave in a somewhat Vatican style on Saturday, treating East
Carolina to a little priest/altar boy action.  Look for the Deacs to
do the unthinkable on Saturday, as they beat the Holy crap out of an
opponent.  Wake Forest by 28.

Northwestern vs Duke
In this contest between two of America's finest universities, it
seems appropriate to make my pick in the form of an exam question...

Which of the following events is most likely to occur within any of
our lifetime(s)?
(A) honest and lasting peace in the Middle East
(B) Jennifer Lopez wins an Academy Award for acting
(C) The Duke Blue Devils will win two football games in a row
(D) Maurice Clarett will be awarded a college degree
(E) FOX will renounce all reality programming, substituting
     Masterpiece Theater re-runs on a 24 hour a day basis.
(F) Yoko Ono will open a Radio Shack franchise on Jupiter

OK, my dear readers, just for you, here's the answer key.  "C" by
3.  Class dismissed.

UTEP vs Louisville
In years gone past, birds (usually canaries) were used protect the
lives of Miners.  These canaries would detect the presence of
poisonous gases, by conveniently dying before their human keepers
would be threatened by asphyxiation.  Of course, this didn't offer
much job satisfaction for the birds in question.  But, this
weekend's contest will offer a turnabout in fortunes.  Look for the
UTEP Miners to be sacrificed for the benefit of Louisville's
birds.   Cardinals by 14.

North Texas vs Arkansas
Since the Arkansas Razorbacks proved capable of rooting into Austin
and smacking Texas, you'd assume no issue with them defeating NORTH
Texas at home in Little Rock and/or Fayetteville.  I'll admit that
this makes things look mighty dim for the Mean Green.   But on the
bright side, at least North Texas doesn't have Mack Brown planning
their strategy.  That would be THE kiss of death.   And, who wants
to get kissed by a pig? :)   Razorbacks by 21.

Clemson vs Georgia Tech
For Georgia Tech, two weeks should equal two Bowdens, one victory
and one near-miss.   Look for freshman QB Reggie Ball and company to
drive one more ACC nail into Tommy Bowden's coffin.  Yellowjackets
by 7.

UAB vs South Carolina
Although Lou Holtz wouldn't agree, his South Carolina Gamecocks have
become the model of consistency.   Unfortunately, the uniformity in
performance has nothing to do with winning and losing, as USC has
done a little of both over the previous fortnight.  However, for
each game, the final score has been 31-7.  THIS week, look for Lou
and crew to return to the winning fold, and just for sheer sheets
and giggles, let's call the margin 24 points.   Guaranteeing another
31-7 tally is probably going too far.

Vanderbilt vs TCU
After last weekend's game, the Vanderbilt Commodores have to truly
feel unique and special.  They are, after all, the only team in
America to have lost to Auburn.  On this Saturday's trip to Fort
Worth, look for big V to return to the ranks of the ordinary.
Beating Vanderbilt doesn't exactly get you into an exclusive club,
you know.   Horned Frogs by 12.

Mississippi State vs Houston
Embattled coach Jackie Sherrill may enjoy a bit of time away from
Starkville, but his Bulldogs had best keep winning.   Fans back home
in Mississippi like to clang cowbells in support of the home team,
but a loss in Houston might cause another kind of bell to toll for
ol' Jackie.  Look for MSU to ring up the Cougars, but not by a
plethora of points.   Mississippi State by 3

Texas vs Rice
There are certain types of games that a Mack Brown team wins, and
there are certain types of games that a Mack Brown team does not
win.  "Mack Wins" games are usually situations where his team has
infinitely more speed, talent, size, strength, experience and depth
than their opponent.   All of these factors would apply for this
weekend.  Playing the game in Houston DOES make it a little bit
scary, but I'm going to stand with Mack and his Longhorns on this
pick.   Texas by 24.

Oklahoma State vs SMU
The Okie State Cowboys swagger into the Dallas pony pen in search of
a new mount.  And, when it comes to ridin' ponies, who's better at
it than Cowboys?  I think State should be able to lasso themselves a
pretty easy win on Saturday in Big D.  Look for the `Pokes to saddle
up a 17 point win.

Texas Tech vs NC State
Two losses in a row have soured NC State's 2003 season.  The first
setback, at Wake Forest, was unexpected and shocking.   Last weekend
found the Wolfpack saying goodbye Columbus as losers only after
three overtimes.   When a team's spirit and drive has been dashed by
such a heart-wrenching loss, it usually requires a solid and stable
gameplan and defensive effort to stem the tide and begin a journey
back to success.   Texas Tech, with their "wild and crazy" offense,
is THE wrong team against which to achieve any stability.  Chuck
Amato has definitely chosen the wrong guy(s) for a rebound date on
Saturday.  Revenge for last year's loss will motivate the `Pack
enough to keep it close, but in the end the Red Raiders will drive
NC State nuts while driving them down for the third week in a row.
In an upset, Texas Tech by 2.

Michigan vs Oregon
This year, it seems like every week brings us another "sure bet" for
a year's-end trip to New Orleans.   After week one, everyone had
Southern California penciled into the Sugar Bowl, even before half
of the teams in America had played a game.   After week two, Miami
captured the country's attention with their comeback win over
Florida.    That brings us to Michigan...   Their throttling of
Notre Dame at the Big House got folks to thinking in terms of a Big
Ten representative in the Big Easy.   Will Lloyd Carr's Wolverines
be the first team to stay center-screen on fans' radar for two weeks
in a row?   Well, this Saturday's visit to Eugene will offer the
stage and opponent to allow such continued praise.   But, if
Michigan doesn't completely forget about the Notre Dame game,
focusing all their attention on the Ducks, well.....  let's just say
that the visitors might be the ones laying eggs at Autzen Stadium.
Biologically, we know it's impossible for a Wolverine to lay an
egg.  And, from a prognostication standpoint, I don't believe it'll
happen either.   Michigan by 14.

Colorado vs Florida State
Even though the home team finally prevailed, FSU fans were treated
to a horror show last Saturday night in Tallahassee.  First,
the "evil" Chris Rix clawed itself from the grave and set about
making poor decisions and rotten throws for much of the contest with
Georgia Tech.   "Bad Chris" was assisted in his self-exhumation by
offensive coordinator Jeff Bowden, who shoveled a large pile of
questionable play calls and game management into the macabre events
that unfolded.   Promising Seminole receiver Craphonso Thorpe was
the next victim of the haunt, as he was temporarily possessed by the
ghost of Robert Morgan, FSU's career leader in dropped passes.  As I
said, good did finally triumph over evil with FSU narrowly defeating
Georgia Tech.  But this weekend's Buffalo stampede could have a much
more chilling finish if things don't improve in Tallahassee.  FSU
had best bury the past for good, or they'll find themselves buried
by Colorado this Saturday at Doak Campbell.  Florida State by 7.

Miami vs Boston College
You can't have a Miami-BC matchup without thinking "Hail Mary".  How
many years has it been since the Doug Flutie to Gerald Phelan dagger
through Miami's collective heart?  As far as I remember, BC hasn't
beaten the `Canes since.  The phrase "Hail Mary" certainly indicates
some degree of spirituality involved in that miraculous Orange Bowl
win.  Miracles DO occur, but as for this weekend, that doctrine is
old testament in this final Big East encounter between BC and UM.
The only miracle occurring Saturday at Chestnut Hill will be of the
mayonnaise variety, as in "Miracle Whip(ping)".  Spreading it on
thick, call this one Miami by 16.

Michigan State vs Notre Dame
Visiting South Bend NOW is a terrible idea for any football team
even remotely associated with the state of Michigan.  Last weekend's
embarassing rout in Ann Arbor has left the Irish in no mood to
extend Gaelic hospitality to anyone or anything from Michigan.  The
Catholic church takes a rather dim view of sin, and extracts
punishment in accordance with the sin(s) committed.  Look for John
L. Williams' Spartans to pay for the trespasses of rival Michigan in
a cataclysmic way on Saturday.  Taking more than just an eye and a
tooth, look for Notre Dame to extract vengeance in beyond biblical
proportions.   Call this an early exodus for the Spartans.  Irish by
24.

UCLA vs Oklahoma
That last major exchange between OU and UCLA was of great benefit to
Bruin football.  Many of you may remember that Troy Aikman
transferred from Norman to LA to escape the run-oriented offense of
(then Sooner Coach) Barry Switzer.  Troy boy went on to fame and
fortune, both at UCLA and in Dallas.  So, it would only seem to even
things up a bit for Oklahoma to reap vengeance on UCLA's Saturday
visit to Owen Field.  The Bruin fans probably won't be too tough on
new coach Karl What's-his-name.   They're probably still sleeping
after trying to watch UCLA's narcoleptic 3 field goals to 2 field
goals win over Illinois.  (Anybody notice that great Prophet 3-point
call on the game??)  Look for UCLA to kick a couple more field
goals, while Oklahoma kicks their bear butts all over mid-America.
Sooners by 20.

Georgia vs LSU
We all believe that the SEC East has three solid football teams,
namely Georgia, Florida and Tennessee.   We are also beginning to
get a "whiff" of something happening in the SEC West up in the
Arkansas pigpen.   Who else can play ball in the west?   Maybe LSU?
Maybe.  The Bayou Bengals have clawed up most of their early-season
opponents, collectively a bunch of nobodies.  This weekend's battle
with the Bulldogs of Georgia will offer some real insight into the
SEC, both east and west.  Georgia has, at times, seemed impressive.
But if the truth is considered, THEY haven't beaten anyone worth a
tinker's damn.  Mark Richt knows that LSU will be more than the chew
toys his dogs have played with so far.  So, I'd look for Mark to do
his usual gameplan for big road games....namely, he'll play not to
lose.  If LSU makes mistakes, Georgia wins by default.   If the
Tigers arrive on fire, the crowd in Baton Rouge will be more than
happy to add gas.  I think something big will happen in Saturday
night's Bayou war.   Something big sounds more like an explosion
than a Richt-scripted war of attrition.  In an upset, look for the
home cats to set Georgia ablaze and thereby (in the process) ignite
what may be the best SEC race(s)in years.   Bengal Cats by 3.

Tennessee vs Florida
OK, it's time to get serious in the SEC East.   The annual Tennessee-
Florida game is always the first salvo in what is essentially a
three-game set to determine the eastern champ.  Later games that
will determine our winner are, of course, Georgia-Florida and
Tennessee-Georgia.  Both the Gators and Volunteers had an extra week
to prepare for this big contest, although Florida was forced to
actually play a football game during THEIR off-week, pounding some
Miami look-alikes from Florida A&M.   Tennessee fans probably see
last Saturday's off-day to be an advantage in this contest, and
normally that might be true.   But this is Florida.  The Gators have
long played kryptonite to Tennessee's Superman.  Florida is a Holy
Cross to UT's Dracula.  Another off-week would be a good thing for
the Volunteers, because if they want to stay unbeaten, they'd best
stay out of Gainesville.  But assuming that UT shows up, call this
deja vu all over again for tormented Tennessee.  I see a 6 point win
for the Gators.