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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2004 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON

GAMES FORECAST 292
GAMES CORRECT 209
PCT CORRECT 71.6%

OK, here I go....edging into the bowl season. I know it's hard to
believe, but I usually do much better with regular season games. The
bowls usually tear me to shreds. Maybe this year will reverse the
recent trend, especially since I've been so shoddy on my regular-
season picks.

We'll start out with the itty-bitty bowl games, the ones being played
up through Christmas Eve. As my usual form of protest, I have again
skipped making a pick on the annual New Orleans Bowl, otherwise known
of as the North Texas invitational. Until the folks at the (as I
call it) NO Bowl start scheduling their game a little later and/or
find some matchup I find remotely exciting, I'm going to keep saying
NO. And besides, I would have called Southern Miss a winner in a
rout, so it would have been too easy. : )

OK, let's see what we have up through "the night before
Christmas".....

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December 21 (Tuesday)
The Champ Sports Bowl
Syracuse vs Georgia Tech
If you want hard evidence that there are TOO many bowl games, here is
exhibit A. Both Syracuse and Georgia Tech did everything within
their gridiron power to remain non-factors in their respective
conference races. Syracuse even threw in a opening out-of-conference
blow-out loss to keep things interesting. An election year
thought..... if I were running for office, I'd get Paul Pasqualone,
the SU coach, to be my campaign manager. He just received yet
another in a long line of "votes of confidence" from the hierarchy at
Syracuse, apparently on the strength of nailing down yet another
extremely minor bowl appearance. Whatever Paul is selling, the folks
in the ivory towers keep buying it. So riding his questionable
coattails, I see the Orangemen electing themselves one more win to
close out 2004, with the undermanned and bewildering Georgia Tech
Yellowjackets supplying some supposed opposition. Have you ever
heard the old joke (I probably have used it) about "I can't decide if
so-and-so is the best mediocre team in America, or the most mediocre
good team"? Well, Georgia Tech is an average team that borders on
mediocre, with heavy overtones of underachievement. Sounds like a
reason to tune in on Tuesday night, doesn't it? Then again, some of
US might need to test out new HDTV monitors. <G> Syracuse by 4.

December 22 (Wednesday)
The GMAC Bowl
Bowling Green vs Memphis
GMAC represents the money laundering, oops I meant lending, arm of
the General Motors Corporation, and the proud (I suppose) sponsors of
the GMAC Bowl. As far as car loans go, I see where interests are
headed in an upward direction. Sadly, the same cannot be said for
interest in the pairing of Bowling Green and Memphis on this
Wednesday evening. I'll admit that I'll certainly end up watching
this game, being one of those bozos who's hot to try out his new
HDTV. Did I mention that I'd bought one? <g> But, if not for those
1980 lines of resolution, I'd probably rather watch an old Bing
Crosby Christmas special. You gotta love a guy who dies on a golf
course, I always say. Bowling Green by 6.


December 23 (Thursday)
The Fort Worth Bowl
Marshall vs Cincinnati
Did I mention that I am getting a new HDTV? Man, the picture is
incredible....and the details. It's too tuff, as the Jamaicans would
say. Maybe the terrific resolution and the progressive image
scanning, not to mention the multiple video component inputs, can
explain to me how in the world Marshall and Cincinnati have found
themselves spending Christmas week in the stockyard town of Fort
Worth. It really doesn't seem like a natural matchup, or even one
that would mildly interest the cowboys in north Texas. As many of
you may realize, Fort Worth IS a cow-punching kind of town. Speaking
of punches, look for Marshall to throw a haymaker in the Bearcats'
direction on Thursday evening. UC threw a few decent jabs this year,
but for the most part, I see them more as punching bags than
punchers. Down for the count, call this a 8 point Cincinnati loss.

The Las Vegas Bowl
Wyoming vs UCLA
Looks like the biggest gamblers in Vegas this Thursday might be the
athletic brass at UCLA. The Westwood management has chosen to roll
the dice, extending Karl Donnan's contact for another two years. The
move may eventually pay big or crap out, but I see the immediate
consistency and stability being beneficial in the preparation for
this game. UCLA's opposition, the Cowboys of Wyoming, are riding
into town bent on ropin' a passel of conference pride for the
Mountain West. But, the non-BCS world will have to get their kicks
from Utah in the Fiesta Bowl, as I see the `Ruins ruining Christmas
for the Cowpokes in Vegas. UCLA by 5.

December 24 (Friday)
The Hawaii Bowl
UAB vs Hawaii
There are some things about the holidays that always seem to
surface. They're as predictable as hell, but you still find
annoyance or at least gallows humor in their occurrence. Running out
of scotch tape while wrapping presents. Getting your tax packet from
the scumbags at the IRS. Running into your seventeenth Santa Claus
of the day before 11:00 am. Reading those horrid words "some assembly
required" on Christmas Eve. Noticing that Hawaii is playing in the
Hawaii Bowl. As for the last item, I don't suppose it really
belongs in the same class as mail from the government about taxes,
but it does beg the question. Is there a reason, other than
location, that they call it the "Hawaii" Bowl? (Just as a point of
debate, I wonder if the kids at Hawaii would be more excited to go
somewhere ELSE during bowl season?) Let's just say that this
football game has an appropriate name. This year's luau leftovers
are the Blazers of UAB, coming from faraway Alabama. The boys from
Conference USA may not be household names, but they've actually won
before the ball is even teed up in Honolulu. First of all, they are
spending Christmas in freaking Hawaii. It could have been Boise,
Idaho or maybe ever some hell hole like Detroit. But no, they drew
the card of life....Hawaii in December. Heaven. And second, it
can't hurt your recruiting efforts to send postcards to any undecided
high school seniors from Waikiki Beach, so long as you don't mention
the actual score or result of the game. Look for slingin' Timmy
Chang to light it up one more time. In a shootout, Hawaii by 6.

OK folks, have yourselves a Merry Little Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa
or even just a fine weekend if you don't do any holidays per se. See
you soon with some picks in those bowl games that you've actually
heard of. :)

Did I mention my new HDTV receiver? <g>

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