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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2004 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON

GAMES FORECAST 283
GAMES CORRECT 204
PCT CORRECT 72.1%

OK, this is the last regular season series of picks. I hope you've
all enjoyed reading my trash as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
Hmmmm, not sure what that actually means. Let's finish up with a few
rivalries, a hurricane washout and some conference title tilts. In a
few weeks, we'll be back with the season-ending bowl picks, or should
I say the annual Bowl Selection Fiasco. :) Maybe this is the year
I'll get more than half of them right. Maybe not.

So, I'll try to figure out the games, and you guys go out and shop.
The economy needs you, so spend spend spend. And remember, I prefer
white gold. : )
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Pittsburgh at South Florida
If you want to grasp what is terribly, terribly wrong about all of
the BCS nonsense, picture this... It's New Year's Day. You tied one
on bigtime last night. You crawl out of bed at about noon and you
drink some black coffee. Your head is pounding like a jackhammer and
for some reason you turn on television to watch a football game.
There, on New Year's Day in a BCS Bowl, you see the "mediocre at
best" Pitt Panthers, champions of the decimated Big Least
Conference. You go back to bed and pray that it was only a bad
dream, which it kind of is. Speaking of dreams, "us" BCS haters
would love to see a South Florida win in THIS supposedly meaningless
final regular season game to further tarnish somebody's big bowl
game. And knowing the Panthers' propensity to underachieve, it COULD
happen. But nahhhhh.. Not this time. Pittsburgh by 9, and then it's
on to Tempe. Hell, they'll probably end up flying first class,
too. There is no God. Sigh.

Louisville at Tulane
The Big Easy Green Wave would love to ruffle the feathers of the
newly-crowned 2004 champs of Conference USA, the Louisville
Cardinals. But seeing as how UL probably deserves the label of "best
team not playing in the BCS this year", I'd say there's little chance
of this roadie turning into any kind of Superdome birdbath. Look for
Bobby Petrino and company to surf the Green Wave with ease to
please. Cardinals by 21.

Army at Navy
Without getting overly sentimental, there ARE no losers when Army and
Navy take the field. These two teams represent the finest our
country has to offer, and I am proud to be a fan of both squads. But
since I have to pick a team in this game, I'm going to go with spirit
and determination over good sense. I believe that new Cadet Coach
Bobby Ross is restoring a sense of special pride to West Point
football, and that better Army gridiron days are just over the next
ridge. Look for them to win another early skirmish in the Ross era
with an upset victory over the Naval Academy. Let's call it Cadets
by 1. God bless both teams, too. We are proud of you all.

Michigan State at Hawaii
Michigan State is one of those teams that I literally have grown to
hate. They're up and down at the most inopportune moments. Picking
their games is tougher than figuring out how to cash in frequent
flyer miles, and that's damned near impossible, especially on United
Air Lines. Those (UAL) clowns charge $15 just to talk to you.
Perhaps I should start charging Michigan State when I pick their
games. The trouble is that no amount would actually make it worth my
while. Oh well, this is probably their last shot at me for 2004.
Spartans by 7. Good riddance and Aloha!

USC at UCLA
This truly has been a magical season for Pete Carroll and his USC
Trojans. Not only are they about to earn a trip to play in Miami's
Orange Bowl for the national title, they get to warm up for their
eastern journey by also winning (in) the Rose Bowl. As for the
Westwood Bearcubs, the closest they'll get to the BCS is up to their
local cable providers. Look for SC to tune up for the OB by tuning
in on a conference rout of their crosstown rivals at UCLA. Southern
California by 20.

California at Southern Miss
This game was supposed to be played early in the season. But then,
Hurricane Ivan bore in on Mississippi and washed away the Cal Bears'
visit to Hattiesburg. FWIW, you cannot imagine how thankful I am
that Ivan chose to attack Mississippi rather than my hometown of
Tallahassee. No idea. :) Anyway, back at the time of my original
pick, I'd chosen USM in an upset, saying how dangerous a visit can
sometimes be to this neck of the woods. As the season has gone on,
I've found the Cal Bears to be a better team than I'd imagined. And,
I've considered Southern Miss to be somewhat of a disappointment.
Everything is telling me to make a switch on my September pick. But,
sometimes you just gotta say what the hell, folks. I'm picking the
Eagles anyway. I think Cal is more concerned with how they stack up
against Texas in the BCS than how they match up with USM at the
Rock. Look for Cal to learn that the deep south is no place to lose
your focus in college football. In an upset, call it Southern
Mississippi by 2.

Virginia Tech at Miami
(The Unofficial ACC Title Game)
This year's ACC only has 11 teams, so there is no official "title
game" being played. The NCAA, in their infinite wisdom, denied the
conference's request for an exemption from the "twelve team
conferences are the only ones who can have title games" rule. But
the newly powerful ACC got the last laugh. Their final game of the
season features the two teams at the top of the standings, and
they're playing on championship Saturday, ergo it is a "Championship
Game". All that's really missing is some silly corporate sponsor.
Perhaps Viagra would be a good choice, because this is going to be a
HARD fought contest. And Viagra might also be an appropriate sponsor
for Virginia Tech and Miami in their first ACC year, considering what
these two conference newbies have done to all the other members. As
for this contest, look for the Hurricanes to stick it to the Hokies
from up north, as they take their formerly Big East rivalry to new
and more lucrative heights. Miami by 7.

Colorado at Oklahoma
(The Big XII Title Game)
It seems like we were just at this point in the Big XII last year.
The OU Sooners were invincible, and winning the conference title game
was only a formality. But then...the game was actually played.
Imagine my surprise when I tuned in to find Bob Stoopes' troops
playing "squeaky toy" to K-State's growling puppy? (A side note....I
love squeaky toys) OK, this year's growling puppies are the CU
Buffaloes of Coach Gary Barnette. When last I gave any serious
thought to Coach Gary and company, he was fighting for his job and
saying stupid things about female place kickers. I really SHOULD pay
closer attention to what's happening in the Big XII North I guess.
Back to this year... Can the unthinkable happen again? Well, the
BCS sure as hell hopes so. A lot of people think this one might be
closer than we'd imagine, but I disagree. I look for Colorado to pay
for what K-State AND LSU did to Oklahoma last season. In a game
perhaps even uglier than the SEC title game down in Atlanta, call
this one an easy Sooner win. Oklahoma by 21.

Auburn at Tennessee
(The SEC Title Game)
I work at a hospital, as many of you know. (At least for two more
weeks.....) I've spent my career seeing blood, guts, sores, pain,
suffering and other such horrible sights. Why am I telling you
this? Well.... When I was getting ready to pick the Southeastern
Conference Championship game, which is a rematch between Tennessee
and Auburn, I had planned to watch a replay of the first game, played
up in Knoxville several months ago. But, I just couldn't stand the
agony. The carnage was so severe, so devastating, that it made me
sick to my stomach. What Auburn did to Tennessee belonged on the
evening news, not on ESPN. I see nothing in the first encounter to
give me any reason to believe that round two will be any different.
Look for another ugly beating of the Orange-clad Vols. The UT
faithful had best bring some white flags to Atlanta. They'll need
them again. Auburn by 14.