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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2004 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON

GAMES FORECAST 270
GAMES CORRECT 195
PCT CORRECT 72.2%

Well, if you completely ignore my recent lack of prognostication
skills, I have so much to be thankful for this year, my faithful
readers. Many changes have and are occurring in my life, and without
fail they're all for the better. So as long we talk about anything
other than Jeff Bowden, I'm generally a pretty happy guy these days.
I hope life has been good for all of you and that you enjoy giving
thanks with your family and friends during this holiday season.

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Thursday, November 25
Thanksgiving Day (Have a great one, everybody!)

West Virginia at Pittsburgh
The battle between the Mountaineers and Panthers is a long-simmering
rivalry. The series stretches far beyond the life of the Big East
conference, and goes by the nickname of "The Backyard Brawl". Before
this season began, both Pittsburgh and West Virginia had hoped to be
the conference BCS representative. But that was before both clubs
littered their backyard(s) with unexpected and troubling losses.
This game means little on the national scene, but it's still burnin'
hot up in coal country. Look for Rich Rodriguez' Hillbilly Tribe to
be positively uncouth with their big-city table manners this
Thanksgiving afternoon in the Steel City. WVU will wipe their mouths
on their jerseys before they wipe the field with the hometown Cats.
Mountaineers by 10.

Friday, November 26
Colorado at Nebraska
The Big 12 and ABC television just can't seem to get set for the post-
Thanksgiving Friday game. Both entities want to feature a showcase
contest, something compelling that will grab the public by their
collective necks. For years, it was Nebraska and Oklahoma. But then
Barry Switzer went to the NFL (or jail..I can't actually remember)
and OU football fell apart. The game became a laugher for Big Red
and everyone looked elsewhere. Enter the Colorado Buffaloes, who'd
just recently won themselves a national title, with a little help
from an official who couldn't count downs. The schedule gets jimmied
around and suddenly CU and NU are meeting on the Friday after Turkey
Day. But by this time, the evil Bob Stoopes had moved to Norman and
OU became dominant again. At the same time, the Cornhuskers decided
to trash the power football that has been their bread and butter for
eons and fell on hard times. Meanwhile, Colorado's athletic
department started to resemble a Russ Meyer casting couch and the
Buffs became extinct in the Big XII north. Before the conference can
even think of replacing either CU or NU with K-State, the Wildcats
lost their claws and started losing games to Marshall and such,
paving the way to the incredibly weird idea of Iowa State playing for
the conference championship. Just TRY and figure any of this
nonsense, right? But before we continue to laugh at the ineptitude
of the network and conference to anticipate what will be the annual
big game, maybe Nebraska and Colorado ARE the perfect choice right
after Thanksgiving. Leftovers ARE usually the call of the day,
right? Heat the gravy, maw, and put it on some cornbread stuffin'.
And while you're at it, can I have another turkey sammich? (Southern
talk for sandwich) Colorado by 1.

Texas A&M at Texas
Texas A&M's school of agricultural science and home economics is a
literal plethora of food and nutritional information. And recipes?
My goodness, these folks know how to whip up a spread, I tell you
what. (King of the Hill talk, folks...) But on Saturday, Mack Brown
and his beefy Longhorns may have a new take on "stuffing" that
they'll share with the A&M guys. And, most of the stuffing will
involve stuffing the ball into the hands of Cedric Benson. Assuming
that Cedric can hang onto said ball, and also assuming that Mack
Brown doesn't coach his club out of a home win, I see the Steak Squad
getting it done in Memorial Stadium, as the Aggies find themselves
going vegetarian on THIS Friday. Texas by 3.


Saturday, November 27
Kentucky at Tennessee
The states of Tennessee and Kentucky have a long rivalry, although
football isn't at the center of the dispute. The true war is over
who distills the best hard spirits. Kentucky Bourbon or Tennessee
sippin' whiskey. Take your pick, folks. As we Southern boys would
say, ain't no bad thing about neither one, actually. UK's Wildcats
are showing up only because they are contractually obligated.
(Lawyer talk, folks...) Now that basketball season has kicked off
(oops, football talk...sorry), the locals back home in Lexington are
glued to the exploits of Tubby Smith's hoop squad. They'll catch the
score of this one in the Sunday papers, somewhere deep on page 14 of
the sports section. As for Tennessee, Phil Fulmer's squad has
finally stumbled into the SEC title game in Atlanta. From the
fiddling around the Volunteers have done in recent weeks, one would
get the idea that they're not that hip on the idea of getting mauled
by Auburn again. Oh well, let's get back to the whiskey thing. Win
or lose, UT is in the title game. But a loss at home to Kentucky
would have some Orange maniacs in a mood to put Fulmer and his staff
into oak barrels for a few years' aging, if you catch my drift. Win
Tennessee must and win they will. Call it by tipsy 12 points or so.

Virginia at Virginia Tech
Virginia has had a great season, if you'd just ignore anything
involving the state of Florida. The Cavs are fast becoming the
German tourists of college football....foreign fodder for Sunshine
State bullies. This weekend's opponent is situated nowhere near the
Gulf of Mexico, but they're still bullies in their own right. Very
quietly, Frank Beamer's Hokies have become THE team to beat in the
ACC. Now, this may well mean that some team is going to beat them
pretty soon, and I might have to agree. But as they say, pride goes
before a fall. This weekend, state pride lifts Tech to a win over
UVA, call it by 9. Next weekend could bring the fall down in, you
guessed it, Florida.

Syracuse at Boston College
It's barely past Thanksgiving, but according to Madison Avenue, that
puts us squarely in the Christmas shopping season. Paul Pasqualone
and his Syracuse Orangemen have done a little early browsing and have
found the perfect Big East going-way gift for the Boston College
Eagles. SU heads into Chestnut Hill carrying the keys to the BCS,
and the locals will be pleasantly surprised how easily they'll give
them up. This contest will, even in defeat, offer future hope to the
Syracuse program. If only a few more team will depart for richer
conferences, the Orange may someday have a shot at the big time.
Until then, they'll continue doing the gridiron equivalent of giving
golden anklets to pretty girls on championship Saturdays. BC by 12.

Missouri at Iowa State
Remember early in the year when quite a few pundits were calling 2004
the "year of the Mizzou Tiger" in the Big XII north? I bet those
guys are going into the witness protection program now. And, don't
you think it's about time we let those four folks who said that Iowa
State would be north division champs out of the Midwestern Institute
for the Desperately Insane? Cyclones by 7. This year has just been
FULL of wonderful surprises! (And, special congratulations to my
friend and ISU fan, the Lone Clone!)

Northwestern at Hawaii
An astronomical SAT is required for entry into Northwestern
University. Surprisingly and refreshingly, this is also somewhat
true for the scholarship athletes. And from where I sit, the
athletic director is no dumb bunny either. Ending one's season on
Waikiki is always a good plan....even when you get upset by an
outlandish offense and a pass-crazy kid named Chang. Hawaii by
3.

Mississippi St. at Mississippi
For reasons that escape me on an annual basis, the Ole Miss-
Mississippi State game is called "The Egg Bowl". And for the
Bulldogs, the egg analogy might be eggactly accurate. After Jackie
Sherrill's last few years as coach, MSU was in no better shape than
poor old Humpty Dumpty. Enter new coach Sylvester Crooms, minus any
king's horses or king's men, trying to do yeoman's duty in rebuilding
State. And by golly I can see some progress, so long as I forget
about that ugly little loss to Maine a few weeks ago. The Dogs may
not be quite ready to scramble the Rebel's eggs in a big way, but I
can see them poaching themselves a little upset win in Oxford. MSU
raids the hen house on Saturday, call it Dogs by 2.

Georgia Tech at Georgia
I read where the school administrations at Georgia Tech and Georgia
are "taking steps" to insure a more civil tone in their heated
rivalry. The recent events up the road in hickville, oops I meant
Clemson, have gotten quite a few educators, fans and players on
edge. Now I'm not making light of the Yellowjackets' and Bulldogs'
desire to batter the living daylights out of each other. But
compared to Clemson and South Carolina, this game is a church
social. And speaking of church, look for a bunch of guys wearing
red, black, silver and white on Saturday to spend next year playing
football on Sundays. But for this last weekend of the regular
college season, they're gonna do their preaching on Saturday to the
visitors from Atlanta. And FWIW, a scary sermon it's a gonna be.
Georgia by 14.

Fresno State at San Jose State
Didn't San Jose State's coach Fitz Hill just resign? Well, he may
not have been much of a coach, but you gotta admire his timing. With
Fresno State headed into San Jose, the time for getting out couldn't
be better. Fitz and company are heading for the hills as Fresno
State and Coach Pat Hill rush in for a conference laugher. And just
to clear things up, I've occasionally been accused of ridiculing the
fine city of San Jose. Sure, their freeways are only slightly better
maintained than the Appian Way. Sure, their airport STILL doesn't
have jetways for deplaning. But, that's no reason to ride poor San
Jose. They're big time, folks. I hear they have a Marriott,
although the wireless internet system is non-functional. FSU West by
16.

Boise State at Nevada
I see where this ultra-successful 2004 season has led to BSU Coach
Dan Hawkins and his staff getting huge pay increases and bonuses.
And, from where I sit, they certainly deserve it. If nothing else,
staff should receive ocular regeneration pay just for having to look
at that ghastly blue football field six times a year. As for my pick
on this game, let's just say that nothing that will occur should lead
to any shift upward in the Nevada coaching staff's tax bracket.
Keeping the Wolfpack leadership safe from the alternative minimum
tax, call it BSU Broncos by 16.

Notre Dame at USC
It's always a classic match when the Trojans and Fighting Irish hook
up for football. Some of the most memorable games ever played have
been USC and Notre Dame clashes. So many names, faces and history.
This season's tilt automatically fits into the "you never know
category" just because of the rivalry and relative team
performances. The Trojans are unbeaten and leading the polls, but
they've had their close shaves, specifically the Stanford and
California games. Cal is excusable, but God knows how the Cardinal
stayed on the same field as Reggie Bush and company. As for Notre
Dame, we're talking about a team that can lose to Pittsburgh and yet
beat Michigan and Tennessee. You just never know what rabbit Ty
Willingham and his magic leprechauns will pull out of their hats.
But on THIS Saturday, I just don't see any funny business in the
Coliseum. The Irish may start with a little dance, but look for the
Trojans to kick them in the shamrocks in a hurry. Seeing an extra
helping of stars with their clovers, moons, diamonds and hearts,
Notre Dame shows up short of Lucky Charms in the city of Angels. USC
by 10.