= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2004 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON

GAMES FORECAST 210
GAMES CORRECT 155
PCT CORRECT 73.8%

Man, what a rough week. Upsets galore, and the Prophet went down
hard with lots of them. I came close on a couple of near-misses. My
buddies at Michigan State teased and then hosed me once again. Is it
any reason I love the Big Ten so much. :^/

OK, we try again this week. One of these weeks, I'm liable to bust
out and have an 80% week. And a special note to my pal "Unavailable
Dave", re his "the prophet needs to hang it up" suggestion. You're
probably right.....but I'm gonna keep doing what I do. There's no
good reason, it's just habit. At least it's not one of those habits
that leads to blindness. : )

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Thursday, November 4
South Florida at UAB
Thursday night brings a TV hookup involving two of the south's up-and-
coming programs. South Florida and the University of Alabama-
Birmingham have made serious and lasting commitments to playing
college football. The day will come, maybe sooner than you'd think,
when both programs see time in the top-25. As for this game, USF may
be bullish on their chances at Legion Field, but I wouldn't blindly
charge into the Blazers' little foundry. Too much hometown heat
going up against a herd of cattle that's a step or two slower than
they need to be just might add up to a barbecue. Smell that smoke,
y'all. UAB by 10.

Louisville at Memphis
The Cardinals and Tigers have long desired to join the upper-echelon
of college football. In their quest to do so, both schools have
participated in more than their share of conferences, some of which
are now defunct. But, it's always seemed that no matter what,
Louisville and Memphis were floating in the same boat. Metro
Conference, Conference USA.... Tigers versus Cardinals has always
been a rivalry. But after this year, that's going to change, as UL
flies into the Big East in search of BCS birdseed. So for this one
last family tussle, let's enjoy a long-time pairing that's given lots
of memories...most of which are in basketball. <g> The Tigers have
been somewhat of a disappointment in 2004, and a win over L'ullville
would go a long way towards easing the pain. The Cards have been
more than up to snuff on almost every occasion, save one late quarter
in Miami. But it's funny how most of America remembers, in a positive
way actually, the Cardinal loss to Miami more than any of their
wins. I'll leave it to all of you to figure out how UL could have
shut out a team (North Carolina) that later beat the Hurricanes. For
now, just trust me in saying that Louisville will get the last laugh
on their long-time friends from down the river. Cardinals by 14.

Saturday, November 6
Oklahoma at Texas A&M
I believe that both Texas A&M and Oklahoma got caught looking ahead
last weekend. The mental letdown turned out to be costly for the
Aggies, as they stumbled over the sleeping Bears of Baylor. Mighty
OU needed some heroic catches and a bit of darned good luck to escape
Bedlam unscathed. As for this game, I think Dennis Frangione's
Aggies may find themselves looking back to last weekend again and
wondering why they didn't make hay while the sun was shining. OU is
a black cloud on anyone's slate, even when playing at home. Sooners
by 7.

Clemson at Miami
After a stumbling start, the Clemson Tigers are again winning
football games. They still have an outside chance of becoming bowl-
eligible, which in itself is a clear indictment of the present
system. Last year, a win over FSU saved Tommy Bowden's job. Can it
happen two years in a row, folks? Can Clemson again defeat a highly-
regarded conference foe from the state of Florida to again pull
Bowden's bacon outta the fire? NO WAY. Two reasons. First of all,
Miami is seething over the collapse against paltry North Carolina
last Saturday, and would like nothing more than to take out their
frustrations on Clemson. And unlike last year's game against FSU,
Tommy Bowden will not have the luxury of coaching against a team led
by his geriatric father and imaginatively-challenged younger
brother. End result? The Tigers pay for the Tar Heels' sins of the
previous week, as Miami rids the bowl scene of any purple Tigers for
2004. Hurricanes by 17.

Duke at Florida State
This weekend is homecoming at FSU, and I can guarantee that the
alumni are not, as a whole, very happy with the football program
these days. In fact, if it were not Duke coming in for a game this
Saturday, Coach Bowden and his staff might have been well served to
stay away from home an additional week or two. As for what's
happening this week, consider a couple of interesting Seminole
tidbits. First, Bowden the Elder has benched kicker Xavier Beitia
after yet another series of chokes in the Maryland game. When asked
if the X man was his best kicker, Coach Bobby said
categorically, "sometimes". Hmmm. And as for quarterback, Division
1-A's winningest and least-motivated head coach has decided to again
recycle senior QB Chris Rix, a decision greeted in Tallahassee with
the same enthusiasm as a polio epidemic. The thought of this game on
Saturday featuring CR running another of Jeff Bowden's great
offensive gameplans is scary enough. Factor in an untested kicker
THIS LATE IN THE YEAR, and it's terrifying. Apparently the FOX
network is not the only folks who don't realize that Halloween was
last Sunday. Good thing the opponent this weekend is only Duke, or
I'd be ready to write off the Noles. But, Duke is Duke and God
Bless `em. Was there ever a team more suited to being a homecoming
opponent? Seminoles by 20.

Minnesota at Wisconsin
As most of you know, I keep picking Wisconsin to lose, and all they
do is win. The fact is that I can't figure out how they're getting
it done. Oh well, I've decided to change my tactics. I'm now
wondering what it is about Minnesota that makes so many of the ESPN
talking heads consider them to be a trap for the undefeated
Badgers. The Badgers may yet stumble on their way to Pasadena, but
it won't be because they fell into a Gopher hole. Barry's Rats by 14.

Oklahoma State at Texas
The Cowboys did, last Saturday, what the Texas Longhorns can't seem
to do. Namely, they gave mighty Oklahoma a run for their money.
Sure, they didn't win...but unlike Texas, they didn't embarrass
themselves, either. Unfortunately last Saturday, when the `Pokes
failed to seal the deal, they set themselves up for a double dose of
conference misery on this trip to Austin. I just think OSU might
have left their hearts back in the saddle at Stillwater. And,
speaking of "RUNning for the money", look for coach Mack Zook to get
Cedric Benson and company into a higher gear, searching for that
elusive at-large BCS big money bid. Surprising a few people, let's
call this one Texas by 3.

Colorado State at Utah
Urban Meyer's Utes are now solidly entrenched at spot number six in
the BCS. It appears that these red-clad warriors from the Mountain
West could become the first successful tribe of BCS busters in
history. Only a few teams, such as Colorado State, remain to stand
in the way of Utah going to a big, big dance come New Year's. In
past years, the Rams would have been a formidable foe. However, 2004
has been a woolly adventure for Sonny's sheep. And if the BCS is
looking to CSU for a bailout, they'd best get ready to make the best
of it. OK, which major school wants to take a chance on getting
their asses kicked by Utah in a major bowl? Decisions, decisions.
Utes by 17.

Purdue at Iowa
Back in the fifteenth century, Christopher Columbus proved that the
earth was round, at least more or less. Back in those days,
prevailing thought was that if one went to far towards the perceived
edge of the world, they'd fall off into space. I'm beginning to
think that the pre-Columbian model of the earth might just apply to
the Boilermaker football team. Only three weeks ago, PU was safe in
port. Well on their way to the Rose Bowl and perhaps even the Orange
Bowl, their super QB Kyle Orton was the odds-on Heisman favorite.
And then, things started to go wrong. With each successive upset
loss the Boilermakers are steaming closer and closer to sailing off
the face of the Big 10 ledger. Although this "earth is flat"
business does sound appropriate for Purdue, common sense tells us
that what goes around eventually comes around. So, I look for Joe
Tiller's puzzling squad to finally "come around" this weekend on
their trip down into corn country. And if not, what better place to
fall off the earth than in Iowa City? Purdue by 4.

Notre Dame at Tennessee
When it comes to handicapping the Irish, I've fallen into a familiar
quandary. Is Notre Dame a bad good team or are they a good bad
team? Summing up, I believe both that they're not that good, but
are definitely not that bad. It's probably a case where we just
don't know which bunch of leprechauns are going to hop out from under
the old four-leaf clover. As for Tennessee, they're clearly in the
driver's seat to make the SEC title game, where they're probably
slated to be annihilated by Auburn a second time. Until then, UT
fans will have to sweat through the Vols' usual tendency to
underachieve late in the season. But this weekend, there is very
good news in Knoxville, and it has nothing to do with UT winning this
game. In fact, I see Notre Dame pulling a surprise upset in the deep
south, call it by 2. The good news for Tennessee's edgy fans is that
this will not be a conference loss.

Maryland at Virginia
Three weeks ago, you would have had little trouble getting me to
imagine a situation where my beloved Seminoles would beat MARYLAND 36-
3, but lose to VIRGINIA by the razor margin of 20-17. I'd have never
believed the reverse call would happen. Three weeks ago, I thought
UVA was the real thing, and that Maryland was destined to struggle
for bowl eligibility. As it turns out, I was perhaps wrong on both
counts, but maybe not entirely. UVA ain't gonna win the national
title, but they're a better football team that I saw in Tallahassee a
few weeks ago. And Maryland will have neither a home crowd or an
unmotivated and unprepared opponent when they take the field in
Charlottesville. So, look for sanity to return to the ACC in this
big contest. Virginia by 7.

Virginia Tech at North Carolina
Now, before I say what I'm about to say, let me shout to the world
that I LOVED what happened last Saturday in Chapel Hill. I never
believed that UNC could defeat Miami, and I'm most proud to admit
that I was wrong, wrong, wrong. But, I can't figure out just HOW it
happened. I've seen UNC play in person, and they're just not very
good. Below average coaching and (at-best) average athletic talent
usually doesn't get it done against the `Canes. Hell, below-average
coaching plus equal or better talent than Miami usually doesn't work,
either. :^/ So, I have to congratulate the Heels on their big win.
But until I have some tiny shred of an idea HOW they managed to pull
the upset win, I'm not about to start sticking my neck out picking
them to beat any other ranked opponents. VaTech gave USC all they
wanted on opening night, and they should have more than enough
answers for UNC's occasional question. Hokies by 14.

Washington State at UCLA
After the beating the Cougars absorbed last weekend, I'm sure it'll
take quite a talk from the team psychologist to even coax them onto
the LA-bound plane THIS weekend. Perhaps the only silver lining for
Wazzoo THIS week is the knowledge that (a) they are playing UCLA and
not USC, and (b) the Trojans are safely up in Corvallis, Oregon, some
800 miles away. Still, you gotta assume the Cougs will play this
game with one eye watching their backs. So, that should make it a
little easier for the regular season Rose Bowl occupants to pick up a
close win in Pasadena. Bruins by 4.

Nebraska at Iowa State
The Cornhuskers have struggled, especially on the road, with new
leader Bill Callahan's offense. However, things should be much
better this Saturday in Ames. Iowa State isn't any closer to
the "west coast" than Lincoln, if you catch my drift. Look for the
Cyclones to give big Red a needed boost of confidence. Cornhuskers
by 9.

Ohio State at Michigan State
Did you see the Spartans fritter away a sure win last Saturday
against Michigan? (...and your Prophet sure loved seeing that
happen...NOT!!!) If ever a team qualified for a group Heimlich, it's
John L. Smith's ragged little army. The visitors to East Lansing
THIS weekend may also be willing to put their arms around the guys in
green, but it'll be in an effort to squeeze the very life out of
them. I now have serious doubts about MSU's fragile psychiatric
state after last weekend's folderoo. But, I have even more doubt
about Ohio State's general attitude regarding offensive football.
Call it a minor rebirth, Spartans by 3.

Kansas State at Missouri
Six months ago, national magazines were arguing over which of these
teams would win the Big XII north. Many went out on a limb and
picked the Columbia Cats, due in no small part to crafty QB Brad
Smith. Well, things haven't played out the way the Mizzou faithful
had hoped, and Saturday finds the Tigers' best chance at seeing the
Big XII title game pretty much up to their local cable provider. K-
State didn't help THEIR post-season causes last weekend with a home
loss to Texas Tech, but I don't suppose a northern title is yet out
of the question. The real question is WHY name ANYONE champion of
the northern division? Let's make it more interesting.... let the
winner in the north play in the Holiday Bowl, replacing Utah. Then,
let's line the Utes up against OU. Yessiree, that'd be fun. K-State
by 2.

Northwestern at Penn State
Is it time for Joe Paterno to hang up his cleats? Do they sell
women's underwear at Macy's? Yes to both questions. Maybe Joe could
get a job at Macy's, selling highwater pants. Nahhhh. Northwestern
by 6.

Mississippi St. at Alabama
Two years ago, when ex-Tide Coach Mike Price got rung up over the
strip bar, Tide alum Sylvester Crooms really wanted the Alabama
coaching job. But, the position went to Don Shula's kid Mike.
Sylvester ended up replacing the roguish Jackie Sherrill over at
Mississippi State. This weekend brings Sylvester's first look at
Alabama since assuming the reins in Starkville. Our man Crooms can
coach, but I don't think he's ready to stem the Tide on this first
trip back to Tuscaloosa. Alabama had better kick these dogs before
Sylvester gets `em totally trained. The SEC had best beware of these
Bulldogs....starting maybe next year. Alabama by 10.

Air Force at Army
This weekend brings about the battle for second place in
the "Commander-in-Chief Trophy" sweepstakes. I wonder what the prize
for coming in second is, upgraded sound systems on Humvees? I'm
going to dedicate this pick to the old fellow I met recently on an
airplane. He was wearing an "Army" jacket and was coming home from
the game where the Cadets had broken their long losing streak. He
was so proud and happy. His face had the same chiseled granite look
that also occupies the puss of Army coach Bobby Ross. I just gotta
feeling on this one, folks. In an upset, call it for the Black
Knights of the Hudson. Army by 1.

Florida at Vanderbilt
A lot of people were mildly surprised when UF tanked against Georgia
last weekend. With all of the troubles in Gainesville, many felt
that the players would make good on their promise to "win one for the
Zooker". Well, I believe the players say what they mean, and they
mean what they say. What they didn't say was WHICH one they were
going to win for the "Zooker". This is the one. Gators by 14.

Oregon at California
The recent shakeup in the BCS has got to have the Rose Bowl committee
chewing their fingernails to the quick. USC is #1 in the poll, and
Cal has moved up to fourth. We are two upsets away from the two best
Pac Ten teams playing each other for the national title in Miami,
Florida. Back home in Commie California, we'd have a Rose Bowl with,
at best, the third-best team in the conference as a host possibility,
unless of course (egad) they chose someone NOT in the Pac Ten. As
for picking this contest, I'm sold on California. The Ducks' goose
is seriously gonna be cooked on this trip to Berkeley. Cal by 16.

USC at Oregon State
I've been accused by some of having a one-track mind, and to a degree
I might agree. I guess it just matters which track it's on. So,
let's get this nastiness out of the way. I make THIS call almost
every year. The USC versus Oregon State game. So easy for off-color
humor. Child's play, really. USC wins this game easily. Why?
Because Trojans were made for banging Beaver(s). :) Look for this one
to be a real pounding. Call it for Trojan Man. USC by 21..... oops,
better make that by OVER 21. See you next week, folks.