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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2004 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST 166
GAMES CORRECT 151
PCT CORRECT 91.0%

OK, OK, I'm kidding. I'd never be so fortunate in a million years to
have logged 91% at this point of the season. <g> OK, the truth...

GAMES FORECAST 166
GAMES CORRECT 124
PCT CORRECT 74.7%
=============================================================

Thursday, October 21
Syracuse at West Virginia
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. When ESPN booked this game
before the season started, they'd hoped to have an undefeated West
Virginia squad to showcase. Much talk would have been made about the
Mountaineers' having a clear track to both the Big East title and
perhaps the Orange Bowl. But now, there's not even any real title
talk to mention. What WILL the ESPN talking heads discuss during
halftime? Maybe they'll go over how many games Trev Albert was
TOTALLY wrong about last week. Don't take offense, Trev....watching
you screw up is why I keep tuning in. <g> West Virginia by 10.


Friday, October 22
Wyoming at Colorado State
Things may not seem quite right for Wyoming as they ride into Fort
Collins. You see, they've been invited to a local rodeo for some
ropin' duty, but all they'll find is Sonny Lubick and a bunch of
shaggy sheep wearing green and gold. But while the Cowpokes from
Laramie might be more comfortable punchin' cattle, they'll still find
a way to slug their way to a Mountain West win on the road. Shearing
and shagging the Rams, call it Wyoming by 6.

South Florida at Louisville
Another of those "Groundhog Day" games. Last weekend, Louisville
almost pulled the stunner of the year down in south Florida. But in
a scene that is all too familiar to we of the Florida State
persuasion, Miami wriggled off the Cardinals' hook at the last
moment. So in an effort to get things right, Coach Petrino has again
lined up against a team from South Florida. But, seeing as how the
Bulls are not exactly the Hurricanes, I'd expect this home outcome to
be more satisfying than last Thursday's slip. The funny part is
this...Louisville may actually gain less in the polls by beating USF
than they did by losing to UM. Go figure. Cardinals by 20.

Saturday, October 23
Iowa at Penn State
Penn State Coach Paterno used to be THE winningest coach in Division
1. However, the last few lean years have allowed JoPa to get passed
in the race to stay number one. After sprinting to his first 300+
wins, the old man seems to be stuck in place during his more recent
coaching efforts. I wouldn't look for any help in escaping the
morass from the visiting Iowa Hawkeyes. And without help from
someone, somewhere, Joe just isn't going to go anywhere for a while.
Then again, he's well dressed for the part....those high water pants
are perfect for slogging in quicksand. Iowa by 17.

Massachusetts at Rhode Island
This game represents a long-standing state feud up in New England.
As I understand, a long time ago, Rhode Island was formed by a bunch
of folks from Massachusetts who ran into some disagreement with the
Boston bunch over a religious matter or two. I think it had
something to do with whether you put the salad fork on the left or
right side of the main fork. It doesn't matter now. But, while the
church bash of years ago has pretty much gone away, the Minutemen and
Rams still want to do each other in annually. Minutemen, as the
legend goes, were to be ready for action at a minute's notice. It
shouldn't take much more than a few of those minutes for UMass to
nail down a win in this traditional clambake. Massachusetts by 17.

Oregon at Stanford
A friend of mine keeps writing to complain that I've forgotten about
the Pac Ten. He insists that I've picked only a tiny little handful
of these intriguing west-coast tilts. So, especially this week, I'm
making an effort to lean a little bit towards the west. :) As for
this game, a lot of people in the south believe that Stanford's team
nickname is "Cardinals", as in the bird(s)...or perhaps the religious
official(s). In fact, the name is "Cardinal" as in the blood red
color of their uniforms. Given this hue, it's easy to imagine a
scene of Christmas gone terribly, terribly wrong as Oregon descends
into Palo Alto. If the Ducks choose to sport those putrid yellow and
green uniforms in this encounter, they'd best stock lots of phenergan
at the concession stands. But folks, if you watch this one on TV,
save yourself a heart attack and just switch the set to black and
white. And then, sit down and enjoy a wacky and wild west coast
shootout. In past seasons, Oregon pretty much has had their way with
the likes of Stanford, as well as quite a few other Pac Ten teams.
But the Eugene quackers have suddenly gone out of season, and look to
be on the early Thanksgiving menu in Palo Alto. If the color combo
doesn't keep them from doing so, look for Stanford to gobble up a
nice serving of Duck a'la rebuilding year in this game. Stanford by
7.

Washington State at Oregon State
In my second attempt at deflecting that "you only pick a tiny handful
of west coast games" letter (Hi Rick!), let's take a peek at Oregon
State and Wazzoo. Previously a raucous and dangerous bunch of Cats,
the Pullman Puss Patrol has been cat-napping for much of 2004. I
don't really see them quivering many whiskers as the Beavers scurry
from their home den. Up at the Cougar cave, this might have been a
better match. But in Corvallis, we'll all see how much the big Cats
dislike swimming in a Beaver pond. Using up one of Wazzoo's nine
lives, look for OSU to turn them INTO Nine-Lives on Saturday. Call
it Sea-Captain's Choice. Beavers by 7.

Washington at USC
So many of the national prognosticators keep talking about how USC is
so beatable. About how they'll stumble somewhere along the way.
Where? C'mon, who's going to beat them, at least before the Orange
Bowl? The facts are that USC is the best team in the state of
California. The only real argument is who's in second place. (FWIW,
my call on 2nd would be the Oakland Raiders) In past years, the pups
from Seattle have offered a rabid challenge for the Men of Troy. But
this year's Washington squad is far from being the pick of the
litter. So on Saturday, look for Matt Leinhard and his pals to
litter the scoreboard with points en route to another impressive
win. USC by 18. OK, that's my third Pac Ten pick. That's
hardly "just a handful." :)

Nebraska at Kansas State
Bill Snyder's Wildcats missed a golden opportunity last weekend. The
hated OU Sooners arrived for a football game in Manhattan, and they
were totally not ready to play. The bad news is that K-State let the
upset opportunity slip through their claws. The good news is that
Nebraska's bewildering Cornhuskers blow into town THIS weekend. And
sadly for new coach Bill Callahan, his boys in red have "not been
ready to play" on more than one occasion in 2004. So, while NU is
busily re-reading their west-coast playbook, look for Darren Sproules
and company to make some Midwestern tracks toward a northern division
title in the Big XII. K-State by 8.

BYU at Air Force
From a social standpoint, this is one weird game. On one side, you
have BYU...a school that consistently finishes dead last in the
national party school rankings. In Provo, the drug abuse problem
consists of taking the next dose of Tylenol thirty minutes too
soon. And, on the other side, we have the Air Force Academy... a
place recently rocked by scandals involving sexual abuse of female
cadets. Now, not to make light of women being treated poorly, but it
takes a special kind of idiot to molest some woman who's getting
trained in combat, or so it would seem to me. OK, none of what I
said above has anything to do with picking this game, unless of
course I mention that the USAFA Dispensary had best stock up on extra
Tylenols for the Falcon fans. BYU may not be a party school, but
they sure can give you a hangover after playing them. Cougars by 7.

Georgia at Arkansas
Last weekend, Hogs QB Matt Jones was injured on the first play from
scrimmage against Auburn. That led to the even more untimely and
thorough collapse of Arkansas' team against the War Eagles. Over at
UGA, Coach Mark Richt uses a two-QB system. David Greene always
starts, but D. J. Shockly gets his share of playing time. D. J.'s
loyal fans suggest that perhaps Shockly should someday BE the Bulldog
starter. But as Hogs QB Jones would point out, starting ain't all
it's cracked up to be. Have you ever noticed that nobody seems to
get injured on the second play from scrimmage? Bulldogs by 10.

Miami at N.C. State
Wolfpack Coach Chuck Amato has made light of the connection between
the Carolinas' attractiveness to major hurricanes and this weekend's
visit by the Miami Hurricanes. Hey Chuck, you might want to leave
the humor to the real weathermen on local TV. Then again, why cry
when you can laugh?? Look for Larry Coker's storm to give Chuck and
company nothing but a dreary evening on this visit to Raleigh. Miami
by 17.

Florida State at Wake Forest
FSU, as a team, has grown to fear these road contests against Wake
Forest. It seems that the playing surface in Winston-Salem is so
poor as to have (allegedly) caused numerous Seminole injuries over
the past half-dozen years. Florida State has an excellent school of
law, so you'd think they'd address this problem from a liability
standpoint. Speaking of liabilities, FSU had best pay attention to
the Demon Deacs in this game. Too much time spent basking in the
Virginia trashing could lead to an ugly surprise that would injure an
entire season. FWIW, not all lawyers are bad. I kind of like
lawyers...at least some of them. Seminoles by 16.

Alabama at Tennessee
The expansion, several years ago, of the SEC has changed many long-
standing traditions. It used to be that Tennessee and Alabama always
met on the second Saturday in October. But now, these bitter rivals
meet whenever the schedule dictates. Mike Shula's Crimson Tide has
been coming on in recent weeks, and they're beginning to look like a
little bit of a bowl team. UT is definitely set for post-season
action, with the only question being where. One other tradition
regarding this game that has NOT changed is that anything can and may
happen. If Tennessee wants to play football in Atlanta on the first
weekend in December, they'd best pay attention on this, the third
Saturday in October. No more Mississippi-game-like screwing around
from the fellows in orange. Let's call this one Tennessee by 7.

Maryland at Clemson
After three consecutive losses which featured abysmal offensive
performances, one might think that Terp Coach Ralph Friedgen would be
on the old hot seat. But this is not the case for two reasons.
First, this is the first off-year that Ralphie boy has had in College
Park. Nobody at Maryland wants anyone other than fatboy shepherding
the Terps for the foreseeable future. And second of all, Ralph could
never sit on any hot seat, his ass being way too wide. He'd need a
hot sofa. :) OK, no more fat Ralph jokes for today. But speaking
of hot seats, things probably haven't calmed down too much for Tommy
Bowden following last weekend's thrilling win over Utah State. The
fact is that most Clemson fans (a) didn't know that Utah was a state
and (b) couldn't find it on a map even if they knew. As for this
weekend's guests from Maryland, they're well known to the Death
Valley cadre. And in recent years, the Orange Bumpkins have known
where to find the Terps....yep, up there above Clemson in the ACC
standings. Maybe it's time for a little payback. Assuming that
Clemson can hold onto the football, let's pencil the Tigers in for a
hard-fought ACC victory. Clemson by 3.

Kentucky at Auburn
This deep-South catfight will prove one thing. There are cats and
there are CATS. And when it comes to fightin', generally the house
cat is the loser. However on this Saturday evening, I see the Auburn
Tigers clawing up the UK Wildcats pretty badly, especially since the
game's being played in Auburn's "house". Let's just say there's a
reason that Auburn fans care less about basketball season than do the
folks from Kentucky. Sending the Wildcats back to their old Kentucky
home with a first-class beating, call it Auburn by 21.

Florida at Mississippi State
Gator coach Ron Zook has, when he's not busy with his fraternity
house disciplinary duties, coached his squad into contention for
another post-season bowl. A winning season is a given, although the
SEC title is probably gone, gone, gone. Bulldog first-year man
Sylvester Crooms, on the other hand, opened the season with a win,
and has yet to add a second "W". The truth is that Mississippi
State's next win will most likely come in the 2005 opener. So, does
it seem strange that Sylvester is the man with job security at this
point? The difference lies in the past. Crooms has succeeded the
lizard-like Jackie Sherrill, who did little right in Starkville
during his final days. Zook succeeded Steven Orr Spurrier, aka the
savior and holy God of Florida Gator football. And the really
horrible news for rappin' Ron is that Steve, since his sudden
disenchantment with the Washington Redskins and Daniel Snyder, is
still without a paying football gig. If the Gainesville Gators don't
start playing better football, Coach Crooms might have an opportunity
to pick himself up a defensive coordinator who has both major-college
and NFL experience....one whose initials are RZ. :) Keep refining
that resume, Ron. Get your fraternity buddies to help out, too.
They're probably all English majors. This one's easy, though. Like
shooting fish in a barrel, call it Gators by 21.

Virginia at Duke
Cavalier Coach Al Groh was livid with the ESPN sideline reporter(s)
during his teams' melt-down in Tallahassee last Saturday. It seems
that they (ESPN) broadcast some "you'd better play football or you
might lose your starting jobs" talk from the head man. Now, I
sympathize with Al's sentiment regarding the invasion of sideline
privacy. And I appreciate his wanting to shield his boys from the
humiliation of being dressed-down on national TV. But for crying out
loud, Al.... you didn't even use a single cuss word. Man, you could
get a job at BYU! There's nothing wrong with that "you'd better play
football or you'll lose your starting job" shtick. We FSU fans in
Tallahassee had been saying it for weeks leading up to the Seminoles-
Cavs matchup. The only difference was that we were saying it about
our quarterback, and we WERE inserting some cussin'. It worked.
So, here's a little advice to the UVA Coach from an FSU fan who knows
how to deal with a tough loss. Tell the ESPN idiots to stay the hell
off your sideline(s), unless of course it's that foxy Erin Andrews.
You might also want to suggest that they try to figure out exactly
what is wrong with Trev Albert in their spare time. And, tell YOUR
boys to take out their frustrations on Duke. The Blue Devils are
there to make pissed-off football teams get better in a hurry. Enjoy
the week off. :) Virginia by 21.

UAB at Tulane
When I went to the Florida State-UAB game in Tallahassee a few weeks
ago, a fan sitting nearby asked me how good of a team the Blazers
were. At the time, I said "not very", as UAB was busily being buried
by an underachieving Seminole squad. But the funny thing now is that
the FSU game was UAB's only loss to date. Maybe there's more fire
than smoke in this bunch of Birmingham Blazers. And as for that "not
very good" label, it sure fits the UAB opponents this Saturday.
Other than one win over a D-1AA team, Tulane has been a punching bag
for most of the season. Don't look for this Green Wave to put out
many blazes, much less Blazers, this weekend in the Big Easy. UAB by
14.

Troy State at LSU
Having the Bayou Bengals hook up with a bunch of Trojans down in
Louisiana is happening about ten months too late. Almost everyone in
the country, save a few thousand Okies, wanted to see USC and LSU
hook up in the Sugar Bowl. That would've been the REAL national
title game. Well, it should offer some comfort to the college
football world to see the Trojans finally find their way to the
southland. OK, OK, I know... these are not the SAME Trojans. Then
again, this year's LSU squad isn't the same bunch of Tigers, either.
It may be closer than the Baton Rouge crew wants, but look for the
cats to defend their litter box on Saturday night. LSU by 14.

UCLA at Arizona State
Four for four. Another Pac Ten pick from the Prophet. I've gone so
west coast, I'm feeling the strong urge to become a vegetarian. Yea
sure. : ) Is salmon a vegetable?? Speaking of meat-eaters, last
weekend's trip to LA was not a good one for the ASU Sun Devils. In a
game many (including me) might have thought could be close, ASU got
their bones picked clean by the USC Trojans. I'm not sure there's
much left for the return to Tempe on this Saturday. A visit to
Arizona by the UCLAN contingent of LA college football offers the
Devils a chance at regaining some devilish pride. But something
tells me that the Bruins are a little better than State is hoping.
Completing the City of Angels' One-Two punch on Arizona State, let's
call for an upset UCLA victory at Sun Devil Stadium. Bruins by 2.

Colorado at Texas A&M
Here's a hometown chance for Dennis Frangione and his Aggies to brush
up on their butchering skills. You see, the end of the season will
bring the Texas Longhorns, THE team that A&M would most like to cut
up. Running a herd of Buffalo through College Station this Saturday
will be a perfect opportunity to get the old campus meat grinder in
tip-top working order. Adding another pounding to Gary Barnette's
already-tenderized Buffs, look for the Aggies to keep the home fires
burning. Ring the BBQ bell, folks. A&M by 12.

Texas at Texas Tech
When the Big XII formed several years ago, it was the goal of the UT
athletic boosters to have the Longhorns capable of competing with
the "Nebraskas" of the world. Earlier this season, THE Nebraska of
this world had little success in dealing with the Texas Tech Red
Raiders. I expect that Mack Brown and his Longhorns will go Nebraska
(at least) ONE better on THEIR trip into Lubbock. Unfortunately,
they'll need to go Nebraska at least "fifty-six" better to come away
winners, and I just don't see `em getting it done. Slinging points
every which way and then some, call this one for Tech by 12.

California at Arizona
This Tucson Saturday has the Cal Bears bringing their high-octane
offense into the Wildcats' den. Coach Tedford's troops would present
an offensive challenge to any defensive scheme. However, UA neophyte
head coach Mike Stoopes has never been one to back away from
challenges. How-so-ever, methinks he should consider starting to do
just that, at least on this Saturday evening. Cal by 14. OK,
guys...that's five. Count `em five. FIVE Pac Ten contests. I
covered all ten teams this week. That's going all the way,
dudes. : ) Hardly a handful indeed.

Michigan at Purdue
Before last weekend, the Boilermakers looked to be on an outside
track to Miami for New Year's. And then....wide right. Trust me, I
feel your pain, guys. As for this week's pick, we have a second
consecutive HUGE conference game involving Purdue. This time, they
face the ever-dangerous long-time kings of the Big Ten, Michigan. I
think Purdue will have the desire and will to play some serious
football this weekend, and that Kyle Orton may reclaim some of his
lost Heisman luster. But, getting over such a gutting loss is
really, really tough. And even worse, it's not half as tough as not
screwing around and losing a second straight game while you're
wallowing in your misery. It's said that lightening never strikes
twice in the same place. But, Michigan ain't lightening....they're
just tough and determined. In an upset, call it Wolverines by 3.