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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2004 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST 101
GAMES CORRECT 78
PCT CORRECT 77.2%
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Well, I had a decent run last weekend, going 17 up and 5 down. And
even more impressively, I didn't get a single death threat in my
email box. I'm beginning to think that you guys don't care anymore.

This weekend brings us the first games of October, the point at which
things start getting serious in conference races. Here's hoping for
another solid week of pickin' and grinnin'. And as a Florida
resident, I'd like to spend one week without watching the damned
Weather Channel. :) Sometimes I wish I lived in California. :^/

Thursday, September 30
First of all, can I please say a special happy birthday to my
youngest child. Actually, child may be a misnomer. My lovely young
daughter, Sara, is a beautiful young woman. And, she is sweet
sixteen today, September 30, 2004. Daddy loves you, honey.

Pittsburgh at Connecticut
Last weekend, the Pitt Panthers barely survived a challenge from
Furman. Now everyone knows that Pittsburgh must have been distracted
to allow a Division 1-AA program to come so close to a monumental
upset in the steel city. The bad news is that the distraction may
have been looking ahead to a Thursday night contest against
Connecticut. Now, no disrespect intended, but if you're sweating out
a football game against UConn, you've got issues. And on Thursday
night, we'll see some of the Panther's worries on national TV. In an
upset, let's call this one Connecticut by 3.

Navy at Air Force
Doesn't it seem unusual to have this big service academy clash played
on a Thursday night? Then again, they are making some incredible
advances with those night-vision goggles. The Middies might want to
lower their periscopes when they hit Colorado Springs' city limits,
as they might not like what they see on the surface out at Falcon
Field. Air Force by 9.

Friday, October 1
Utah at New Mexico
A lot of people believe that Urban Meyer and his Utah Utes are prime
candidates to become successful BCS busters this year. That may well
come to fruition, but UU had best not hose around like they did up at
Air Force last weekend. Believe me, those pollsters LIKE the present
system, and they're looking for any excuse to "dis" clubs like Utah.
So if the Utes want to bust things up come January, they'd best be
busting up Friday night fodder such as New Mexico. It says here that
they will, call it Utah by 14.


Saturday, October 2
West Virginia at Virginia Tech
There haven't been this many hillbillies fightin' with each other
since the days of the Hatfields and McCoys. The Mountaineers and
Hokies have a long-standing hillside rivalry dating back to their
happy times in the Big East conference. But now that Virginia Tech
has moved on to playing against colleges that have indoor plumbing,
they might be apt to look down at their pals from Morganton. That
might be a dangerous move seeing as how Tech is already coming off a
loss at home. Two in a row will not make the Lane Stadium loons
happy, at least those of them who can count to two. : ) But, two it
is....West Virginia by 2.

TCU at Army
President Bush has accused challenger John Kerry of giving comfort to
al-Qaeda and our other terrorist enemies with his campaign trail
speeches. Now, I'm not weighing in on any of that. But for the
record, nothing could give our enemies any greater comfort than
seeing the Army football team playing ball. Than again, the boys and
girls up at West Point are winners where it really counts, right? Go
Army! But, TCU by 14.

Arizona State at Oregon
The Sun Devils seem to have climbed up from their purgatory of the
last few mediocre seasons. And as Iowa found out a couple of weeks
ago, they can exact a devilish degree of revenge. The long trip up
to Autzen Stadium in Eugene used to send chills down the spines of
Pac Ten visitors. But on Saturday, the only Devil shivering may come
from the clammy weather. I know that, over the last few years,
visiting conference teams have won at Oregon about as often as an
average person sends flowers to a corporate lawyer. But on Saturday,
I see ASU's bouquet coming into bloom. Sun Diablos by 7.

California at Oregon State
This weekend will help us find out two things about this year's Pac
Ten teams and race. First, we'll find out if the Cal Bears are
really top-ten material. And second, we'll get an early peek at who,
besides USC, might sneak into a BCS bowl come January. California is
an excellent university, and I know they've got plenty of professors
who can read the old handwriting on the wall. However, I don't think
they'll applaud the verse being recited in Corvallis on Saturday.
Beavers by 2.

Washington at Stanford
Saturday's battle in Palo Alto features two teams who played "almost"
football last weekend. Stanford ALMOST beat the top-rated USC
Trojans, while Washington almost got shut out by Notre Dame. So,
does that make this contest "almost" worth tuning in to watch?
Almost. Stanford by 4.

SMU at Boise State
This'll be quite a stampede as the Mustangs from SMU gallop into the
big blue corral at Boise State. It shouldn't take an intimate
knowledge of horseflesh to separate the thoroughbreds from the glue
factory ponies in this rodeo. BSU by 24.

Michigan at Indiana
The Michigan Wolverines showed signs last weekend that they'd finally
shaken the doldrums that surfaced during their trip to South Bend.
Roughing up Iowa in the Big House showed that the Blue and Maize
might still be a factor in the Big Ten conference race. As for the
long-term health of the Wolverine program, let's just say that
swallowing a handful of Hoosiers should provide the necessary vitamin
supplement to keep things going until it's time to play Ohio State.
Michigan by 21.

Ohio State at Northwestern
The Buckeyes seem to be following the Tressel formula of the last
three years. Conservative, and at times non-existent, offense
coupled with a bruising, opportunistic defense. It's already won ONE
national title, so I suppose people should be slow to criticize.
Defense does win championships, right? True, true, true. But can
you read the small print in that sentence, folks? Let me magnify it
for you... Defense <alone> does <not> win championships. The Big
Ten opener seems like a perfect place for OSU's Tampa Bay Buccaneer
philosophy to bite `em on the butt. In an upset, Northwestern by 1.

Illinois at Wisconsin
I'm not saying that the Badger offense is moribund, but Wisconsin
coach Barry Alvarez hasn't thought about making a pass since his frat
days at Nebraska. Fortunately on this weekend, the visiting Illini
are just the sort of team apt to be run over without any heavy
petting on the part of Wisconsin. Getting away with being one-
dimensional for another week, call this one for the Bucky Badgers.
Wisconsin by 9.

Penn State at Minnesota
Just last weekend, Joe Paterno and his Nittany Lions were up on the
northern plains, losing a football game at Wisconsin. And, if State
is hoping to avoid forfeiting in Minneapolis, they might have to
swing back by the University of Wisconsin hospital facilities to pick
up a few dozen of their injured players. Last weekend produced a
physical whipping for the Nittany kitties. On this Saturday, look
for a more kind of spiritual beating as the Gophers grind out a
gritty ground victory at home. Minnesota by 13.

Kansas at Nebraska
Bill Callahan's Cornhuskers may still be coming to grips with his
west-coast offense. But, they'll have no geographical challenge this
week when the next-door-neighbor Kansas Jayhawks come calling (or
crawling) in(to) Lincoln. Any game plan, or combination of various
game plans, should be enough for Nebraska to pound KU flatter than
their Great Plains home, er...stompin' grounds. :) Farmboys by 16.

Miami at Georgia Tech
When the Miami Hurricanes were accepted into the ACC, only two
universities voted against the idea. Had three done so, the
Horrorcanes would still be blowing their smoke in the Big East. Look
for this weekend's game to make the Georgia Tech hierarchy rethink
their "yes" ballot. Miami by 21.

North Carolina at Florida State
FSU fans thought THEY were the only ones having to endure a pitiful
offensive display by their team in 2004. Last Saturday, the UNC Tar
Heels were shut out at home by Louisville. Now, I mean no ill
towards the Cardinals, but they're not Oklahoma, ya know. They have
no business shutting out North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Bobby Bowden
doesn't have another kid on that horrible coaching staff up at UNC,
does he? Well, assuming that John Bunting and his soon-to-be-
unemployed coaches come up with another offensive plan that even Jeff
Bowden would laugh at, the outcome in Tallahassee should also be a
laugher. Seminoles by 24.

Arkansas at Florida
The practice of scoreboard-watching is well-documented in baseball,
especially during pennant drives. It's also done in college
football, as will be happening down in Gainesville on Saturday,
assuming that Hurricanes L through Q haven't slammed into Florida by
then. Gator Coach "rappin' Ron Zook" will have a close eye on the
North Carolina-FSU game being played up in Tallahassee. And
surprisingly, the Z man is pulling for a big Seminoles victory. The
sooner that Tar Heel coach Bunting gets his walking papers, the
sooner the UNC alumni can pool every last dime and hire Steve
Spurrier, thereby allowing Ron to get a decent night's rest. He
should sleep easy on this Saturday night, as his Gators complete the
daily double of Sunshine state wins. Florida by 10.

South Carolina at Alabama
Even with a neophyte signal-caller under center, Alabama's Crimson
Tide has enough talent, at least on paper, to defeat the South
Carolina Gamecocks. However, the X-factor in this weekend's defense
against Alabama's Gen-X quarterback may be septuagenarian USC coach
Lou Holtz. The crusty ol' weasel has more than enough dirty tricks
and psychological games to embed himself solidly in a young
quarterback's head. Lou ain't bad at screwing around with young
coaches' minds, either. In a mild upset, South Carolina by 4.

Mississippi St. at Vanderbilt
A lot of people are bemoaning the fact that former Mississippi State
coach Jackie Sherrill left the Bulldog cupboard bare when he
departed. That is, by no means, an understatement. The Starkville
faithful have been on a gridiron starvation diet for the last three
years, and even the optimism of the new Sylvester Crooms regime can't
hide the fact that there'll be more belt tightening to do before the
Dogs begin feasting on anyone of substance in the near future. How
sad are things at Miss State? They'll be decided underdogs against
Vandy, that's how bad. Now, ponder how ridiculous the next sentence
sounds, given the context of SEC football history. If the Commodores
can avoid getting overconfident, they should secure a precious home
conference win on Saturday. Vandy and overconfident are not
generally words residing in the same breath. Call it close,
Vanderbilt by 3.

Baylor at Texas
They're starting to believe down in Austin. The Longhorns are
rolling, and have easily won their first few games. Vicious defense
and slippery running by Cedric Benson have UT climbing the NCAA
charts just in time for the meat of the college football schedule.
Look for another easy win this weekend, as Coach Mack Brown's cattle
stampede the visiting Bears from Baylor. One little note, though,
for the old coach... Mack, you might want to refill your
antidepressant prescriptions, and have that irregular heartbeat
checked out. Those ARE the Oklahoma Sooners on the horizon.
Shreik. Texas by 22.

Kansas State at Texas A&M
After the surprise thrashing of the (then) highly-regarded Clemson
Tigers, Dennis Frangione and his Texas Aggies seemed to be on the
right track. Folks in College Station had just about forgotten that
ugly, ugly start up in Salt Lake City. The bad news is that they'll
get a reminder of how far A&M still has to progress in their quest to
regain prominence in the Big XII this Saturday. K-State has already
had their early-season foul up and Coach Bill Snyder has no plans for
another "L" anytime soon. The Wildcats claw out a road win, call it
State by 7.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma
With the Texas Longhorns coming up soon for the Sooners, it is
soooooooo very tempting to consider calling a huge surprise in this
game. Tech can score points with the best of them, just ask TCU.
Any team that is capable of hanging 70 on the scoreboard against a
team that's played in postseason bowls for the past few years is not
to be trifled with. So, if something titanic happens at Owen Field
on Saturday, I'm admitting that I had inklings. However, I believe
that the home scoreboard can take the pounding that the Red Raiders
bring into town. The Boomin' Sooners should be able to score at
least 5 or 6 more points than however many Tech racks up. Memo to
the stadium staff, though...make a trip down to the Tru-Value
Hardware store and stock up on lightbulbs for the scoreboard.

Purdue at Notre Dame
I was absolutely prepared to write Notre Dame's 2004 obituary for
this week's game against Purdue. I figured that talented QB Kyle
Orton would carve up the Irish D like a side of corned beef. But
that was before I saw how damned generous the Boilermaker defense was
against lowly Illinois last weekend. I have an opinion about defense
and giving up points. It's my thought that once a defense gets used
to letting other teams score, especially if their own offense keeps
bailing them out by winning, it becomes a habit. It's kind of like
taking drugs..once you start, it's tough to quit. Defensive
generosity will be bad news for Purdue on their South Bend swing this
Saturday. Notre Dame is usually lucky enough at home without having
any help. Continuing the myth that Notre Dame is actually a very
good team, while shaking up the notion that Purdue is going to win
the Big Ten, call this one Irish by 6.

Auburn at Tennessee
In college football as in life, things are not always as they seem.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, right? Tennessee won a
huge game against their hated rivals from Florida two weeks ago. And
reading the post-game press, you'd get the feeling UT was trashed.
Now, I know that Florida royally screwed up and basically choked away
a sure win. But still, Tennessee played well enough to get the
victory. Bottom line, I believe the young and talented Vols are
better than they're being given credit for being. Conversely, the
Auburn Tigers knocked off the defending national champion LSU Tigers
last weekend in Jordan-Hare. And without unduly pissing off my dear
friends from Tigerland, I really think the win was equal parts War
Eagle success and LSU lapse. Bottom line, Auburn is not as good as
some people may believe they are. I think things will get
straightened out somewhat on Saturday on the turf at Neyland.
Putting a big orange squeeze on Auburn, call this one Tennessee by 4.

LSU at Georgia
To some degree, both Georgia and LSU have been disappointments to
their respective fan bases. But at that point, the similarities
end. Georgia may have stumbled and bumbled their way through the
first three games, but they're still positioned for a possible run to
the Orange Bowl, assuming that they keep winning. LSU, on the other
hand, is perhaps already out of the SEC West race. It's amazing how
much trouble a little one-point loss can cause. And, it could be a
lesson that Georgia learns well on Saturday. In an upset, call it
LSU by 1.