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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2004 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST 24
GAMES CORRECT 21
PCT CORRECT 87.5%
=============================================================

I had unusually good luck with last-minute games last week, my loyal
subjects. Two notable overtime contests both broke my way after
being headed for the loss column for most of the game. Way to go,
Clemson and LSU. Tiger power. For the week, I was 19 for 22, which
is actually quite good. If not for my inability to pick games
involving Utah teams (I was 1 for 3 on the BYU, Utah and Utah State
games), I would really be cooking early in 2004. Maybe I'd best give
up on the state of Utah.

And one more thing...YES I KNOW that Dennis Erickson no longer
coaches at Oregon State. I just had one of those brain farts,
folks. Give me a break, I'm getting old. I know you guys all make
mistakes, too. Hell, YOU read this newsletter, don't you? However,
I'll grant you this...you're not stupid enough to make your mistakes
on the internet in front of thousands of semi-knowledgeable people. ;)

Thursday, September 9
Missouri at Troy State
In addition to being Trojan home turf, the area around Troy, Alabama
is also considered to be Tiger Territory, due to the town's proximity
to Auburn University. Although the Mizzou cats aren't the breed
favored by the locals, they'll find enough to their liking Thursday
night to prowl outta town with a road victory. Look for Brad Smith
to pile up a few more Heisman-like numbers in south Alabama.
Missouri by 17.


Friday, September 10
Oregon State at Boise State
Oregon State, coached by MIKE RILEY, played their hearts out last
Saturday night against LSU. If not for some kid doing his Florida
State shtick and missing a bunch of kicks, the Beavers would have
recorded their first-ever win over an SEC school. In short, OSU was
primed and strung. And, they'd better have short memories because IF
they continue to dwell on what might have been against LSU, the Boise
State Broncos are more than capable of doin' it to the Beavers THIS
Friday. I don't know why, but I got a feelin' that last Saturday's
heartbreak isn't quite healed up. In an upset, BSU by 2.

Florida State at Miami(FL)
Just in case you didn't read my pick on this game last week, here is
a reprint. The date has changed, but I still see the outcome to be
the same...unfortunately. And FWIW, this game may not get played on
Friday, either. Another damned storm is headed towards south
Florida, scheduled to arrive on or near...you guessed it...Friday
night.

Prevailing thought in Tallahassee is optimistic, folks. Many, many
FSU fans, as well as our local "in the know" types (Hi Camster!) say
that IF Florida State can just get past Miami, they have an excellent
chance to line up in the Orange Bowl for the national title. And on
the other side, Coach Bobby Bowden says that the easiest way to
recover and play for a national title after a loss to Miami is to
play them at season's beginning. Well, it sounds like the Noles
can't lose. Yeah, sure. Miami by 3. Ouch.

Saturday, September 11
Western Michigan at Virginia Tech
The Hokies showed up and fought the good fight in their opener
against USC. But thanks to the SC talent and (some would say) a
rotten call on offensive pass interference, the Virginia hilltribe
couldn't conquer the Trojan Horse. Look for them to have a happier
time in the saddle this Saturday as the WMU Broncos come trotting
into Blacksburg. Look for Beamer Ball to make gourmet French treats
outta this MAC herd in short order. Virginia Tech 14.

Louisville at Army
Let's see, Louisville, Kentucky is in the heart of America's finest
horse country. The thoroughbred bloodlines of the bluegrass state
are well known in equine circles. I know, I know, Louisville's
nickname is "Cardinals", not horses, but stick with me, I'm riding a
winner here, folks. The U.S. Military Academy, aka Army, has chosen
the mule to be their mascot. OK, you figure it out. What would you
rather be associated with...a thoroughbred or a mule? As for my
official pick, let's just say that there's a big gap between the top
and bottom rungs of the Conference-USA ladder. L'ullville by 24.

North Carolina at Virginia
The Heels from Tobacco Road had one helluva time subduing mighty
William and Mary last Saturday. Such a sorry opening shot doesn't
bode well for their powder staying dry during the ACC wars that are
about to begin. Look for the hometown Wahoos to give the folks from
Chapel Hill a good reason to start dreaming about basketball season,
because their football team stinks like a dead cat in the shrubbery.
Virginia by 17.

Temple at Maryland
Have the Temple Owls decided that their entire out-of-conference
schedule will consist of ACC teams? Well, in the past, that might
have been a meritorious idea, but the new Atlantic Coast Conference
is pretty darned formidable. Hey birds, if you're gonna fly into ACC
territory, I'd suggest playing North Carolina and/or Duke....in
football, of course. Maryland by 12.

Penn State at Boston College
2004 presents the BC Eagles with a golden opportunity. With Miami
and Virginia Tech already having departed the Big East, Boston
College could have a chance to win a conference crown and gain a BCS
bowl invitation. Speaking of conference crowns and BCS invitations,
Penn State used to regularly collect both. It's sad to say, but I
have a feeling that neither team is going to reach either goal this
year. But, look for the Eagles to have a nice home opener. BC by 3.

Indiana at Oregon
Gerry DiNardo takes his IU Hoosiers westward in search of some
quality Duck huntin'. But, he'll find that Eugene will be no happy
hunting ground for his misfit outdoorsmen from Bloomington. These
rainy-day ducks from the Pacific northwest generally return fire
pretty heavily. Look for the quacks to find the cracks in the
Hoosiers' front wall pretty easily. Oregon by 16.

Colorado at Washington State
Gary Barnett's Buffs have had a very tough off-season. In between
the criminal accusations, coaching suspensions and NCAA eligibility
hearing rejections, good news has been hard to come by in Boulder.
However, last weekend's cliffhanger win against hated Colorado State
brought smiles to the black and gold, if only for the evening. As
for this Saturday's game against Washington State, I have two
suggestions for CU fans. First, if you're into classic history, tune
in and wait for ESPN to run the commercial where Kordell Stewart
pulled the miracle TD pass outta himself against Michigan several
years ago. And, if you're more into the here and now, skip THIS game
and tune in to the USC-Colorado State game being played in LA.
Misery loves company, but even more than that Misery loves watching
their biggest rivals getting their asses beaten. :) Wazzoo Cougars
by 12.

Colorado State at USC
The defending national half-champ USC Trojans got a bit of a start
during their east-coast opener. It seems that a bunch of Virginia
hillbillies hadn't gotten the word of Troy's invincibility. USC was
saved, in the end, by the steady play of Reggie "The President" Bush,
who showed the younger Trojan receivers how it should be done. And
based on recent national polls, President Bush seems to be on an
upswing. Sooo, I'd say things are looking right for a more
comfortable SC win in the HOME opener. And speaking of polls, Pom
Pom Pete and company might want to eyeball what happened to LSU in
the polls after a sorry performance at home against Oregon State.
Look for USC to feast on barbecued mutton as they carve up Sonny
Lubick's Rocky Mountain Rams in SoCal. Trojans by 17.

BYU at Stanford
A lot of people feel that Stanford is, at best, the second-worst team
in the Pac Ten. However, it seems that their opening opponents, San
Jose State, failed to get that message. In a similar manner, BYU's
opening opponent, legendary Notre Dame, also failed to account for
the Cougars' prowess at home in the Wasatch Mountains. So, as these
two unbeaten teams clash in Palo Alto, I believe the winner will be
determined by the team that does the appropriate level of diligent
research prior to kickoff. But, we ARE talking about football
players here, so the more likely scenario is to imagine some last
minute cram-study sessions for both teams. Let's just say that the
Cougars are the more likely group to have nothing better to do on a
Friday night than study game films. There's a reason BYU always
finishes dead last on that "party schools" ranking. Continuing a
good start, call this one Cougars by 2.

Fresno State at Kansas State
K-State fans watching TV were treated to an awesome display of
football ferocity during last week's opening game(s). Unfortunately,
the firepower to which I'm referring occurred up in Seattle,
Washington, courtesy of Pat Hill and his Fresno State Bulldogs.
While Bill Snyder's Wildcats were playing finicky before putting away
Western Kentucky, FSU West served notice that they're ready to again
shake up the BCS. And when this one's over, the folks in Manhattan
won't leave the stadium happy. Oh, they'll still be celebrating a
win, it's just that it won't be by much. K-State by 5.

Iowa State at Iowa
Over the last few years, especially during the Seneca Wallace era,
the Cyclones of Iowa State enjoyed unprecedented success on the
football field, and especially against their rivals over at Iowa.
But things have begun to return to normal out in Cornland. Iowa is
playing well, and Iowa State is not. ISU may blow into Iowa City
with other ideas, but I see calm skies for most of the afternoon.
Look for a smooth Hawkeye flight on Saturday, call it Iowa by 21.

UNLV at Wisconsin
When a bunch of college football-playin' guys from Las Vegas open a
season with road games AT Tennessee and AT Wisconsin, I have only two
words to offer. Point spread. Someone ought to look into any new
car purchases among the Rebel squad or coaches. Beating UNLV, if not
the spread, call this one Badgers by 17.

Central Michigan at Michigan State
I was going to skip this game because it appeared, at first glance,
to be a classic "gimme". I don't like being accused of padding my
record with silly no-lose picks. But Michigan State is fast becoming
the Forrest Gump box of chocolates for college football. Early in
the season, you never know what you're going to get. But unlike a
box of chocolates, it's almost never really good. Still, look for
the Spartans to chew their way through the Chippewa nation in their
East Lansing home opener. State by 14.

Southern Miss at Nebraska
Let's see....last year, Nebraska was so bad, so substandard, that
they fired head coach Frank Solich at season's end. Then, they went
out and spent big bucks to bring in a professional coach with a
proven track record. Why do I rehash the past eight months of Husker
history? Because EVEN with NU being so supposedly awful last fall,
they still pounded Southern Mississippi down in Hattiesburg. I can't
think of any reason things will fly any higher for the Eagles up in
Lincoln. Nebraska may not yet be "back", but they're still far
enough along to beat up USM. Cornboys by 16.

UCLA at Illinois
Now, you all know how I feel about the Fighting Illini's 2004
fortunes. I actually stuck my neck out and picked a Division 1-AA
opponent to beat them at home last weekend. And, as should be the
case, I got smoked on the choice. But you get the drill....I really
don't think Illinois is much of a threat to make a BCS bowl, to say
the least. OK, I had to eat some words last weekend, as UI pounded
Florida A&M. This week should up the ante a bit. Although my Trojan
pal Rebel Fred would vehemently disagree, UCLA is at least marginally
better than an average 1-AA team. Look for the Bruins to bear up
against the Illini onslaught, UCLA by 3.

Marshall at Ohio State
OSU looks to be somewhat of a light version of their 2002 selves.
There's no Maurice Clarett, but they still play a smash-mouthed run-
oriented offense, which produces literally tens of points. <g> OK,
Ohio State has very little offense...and they couldn't throw the ball
to save their lives. But, they can damn sure play defense. On
Saturday, that'll be their saving grace, because their MAC-daddy
opponents, the Thundering Herd of Marshall, CAN play offense.
Buckeyes by 3.

Auburn at Mississippi State
Being an alum of Alabama, new Bulldog coach Sylvester Crooms should
know a thing or two about playing and beating the Auburn Tigers.
And, if he could line up in Starkville with one of his old Tide
teams, I have no doubt he'd skin the Alabama cats. However, even
though they're riding an emotional high, the MSU Bullpups don't yet
have the bite to run the Tigers out of their backyard. Yes, we can
always count on Tommy Tuberville to coach the War Eagles closer to
lesser competition. But, there's just too much space between MSU and
Auburn at this point to even entertain an upset. Taking a bite outta
State's bark, call this one Auburn by 10.

Georgia at South Carolina
Even before LSU's spotty performance against Oregon State, quite a
few people figured the Georgia Bulldogs to be SEC title favorites, if
not a good bet for a trip to the National Championship game. And now
that LSU has been proven vulnerable, the world would seem to be the
Bulldogs' oyster. UGA coach Mark Richt is considered one of the
brightest young minds in the coaching profession. And if he's smart,
he'll think long and hard about what prowls the opposite sideline
this Saturday in Columbia. Lou Holtz has been suckering and sacking
young hotshot coaches and their highly rated teams since the Johnson
administration. (The ANDREW Johnson administration. :) Holtz's
chickens may be plenty dangerous birds for Mark's doggies to be
chasin' on Saturday. Oh sure, Georgia should and probably will
win...so long as Mark keeps both eyes on Lou the Weasel. Bulldogs by
12.

Eastern Michigan at Florida
Even though this is a meaningless out-of-conference game, it's still
an important date in Gainesville. It may, after all, be Florida's
only chance to record a 2004 victory over a team with an Indian
nickname. Wink, wink. Florida by 28.

Arkansas State at LSU
After last weekend, the folks in Baton Rouge are still in a state of
shock. In a level of luck known previously only to the likes of
Notre Dame, the Tigers escaped an opening loss only because the
Oregon State kicker missed THREE extra points. For this week,
there's good and bad news down on the bayou. The bad news for LSU is
that Arkansas State has a pretty decent kicker. The good news is
that he'll only be trying an occasional long field goal. Judging
from the way Nick Saban's neck vein muscles were bulging out towards
the end of last week's game, I bet things have been mighty focused
this week at LSU. Tigers by 28.

Georgia Tech at Clemson
As he watched his Clemson Tigers fritter away a two touchdown lead
last Saturday, I wonder if the phrase "house of cards" crossed Coach
Tommy Bowden's mind? A lot was made of the new confidence and
attitude prevalent at Clemson after last season's strong finish. But
all in all, CU was damned lucky to escape their HOME opener with a
win. And speaking of cards, Tommy and company had better play theirs
right this Saturday as Chan Gailey and his Georgia Tech Yellowjackets
come to Death Valley. Otherwise, Tommy Boy will be playing that same
losing hand that almost led to the unemployment line last year. Call
it close, but call it Clemson by 3.

Mississippi at Alabama
The dynamics of this game should finally be different for the
homestanding Crimson Tide. After dealing with the electrifying and
talented Eli Manning-led Rebels for the last three years, now they
only have to face some nobody QB named Spurlock. So assuming that
Mike Shula doesn't actually suit up and play QB himself, Alabama
should easily slip to 2-0 on the young season with a comfortable win
at home. In Tuscaloosa, call it Tide by 14.

Tulsa at Oklahoma State
Being a resident of Florida, I can tell you that the Prophet is
damned tired of hurricanes. So, based simply on the nickname alone,
I'm going to pick against the Tulsa Golden Hurricane. Look for the
Cowboys of Okie State to ride out this category zero storm from
nearby Tulsa pretty easily. Downgrading the Hurricane to a Golden
Depression, call it Cowpokes by 16.

Wyoming at Texas A&M
At first, you couldn't see the difference. When Dennis Frangione
first took over the Aggie program, there was a lot of hangover
resemblance to the previous R. C. Slocum regime. But, little by
little, Dennis has put his personal stamp on A&M and the way they
play football. In their last five contests, the Texas Aggies have,
almost without fail, given up any hope of winning or even trying by
early in the second quarter. As Alabama fans will tell you, Dennis
knows a thing or two about quitting. I see a pattern, and I'm taking
notice. I really, really, really think that the Texas A&M Aggies
should be able to handle a lightweight crowd like Wyoming at home in
Kyle Field. IF things don't work out, and A&M goes down again like a
mobster in cement shoes, look for the old Prophet to consider
quitting with regard to Aggie football. Texas A&M by 3.

Houston at Oklahoma
Have you ever noticed that the Houston Cougar uniforms look quite a
bit like the outfits worn by the Oklahoma Sooners? The only
difference is that the OU haberdashery runs about twice as fast and
is much bigger and stronger. Still, you gotta admire that plan to
dress for success. Look for Stoopes and company to strip Houston
down in short order this Saturday in Norman. Oklahoma by 21.

SMU at TCU
The cities of Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas have been rivals for the
better part of a century and a half. It's always a case of one-
upmanship in the Metroplex area, with regard to everything worth
bragging about. Maybe this Saturday's big win by the hometown Fort
Worth TCU squad will make up for Big "D" getting top billing on the
airport. Horned Froggies by 21.

Utah at Arizona
Urban Meyer's Utah Utes put on a dissection clinic last Thursday
night in Salt Lake City as their offense took apart the Texas A&M
wrecking crew defense. However in their road openers, the Utes may
find things a little more dicey. Former OU defensive wonderbrother
Mike Stoopes has now assumed the reins for the UA Wildcat program.
Mikey knows enough to insist that his players actually tackle the
opposing ball carriers, which should, to some degree, tame UU's
aerial "Urban Warfare". However, nothing in the new Stoopes' resume
says anything about him understanding offense. Back in the Sooner
juggernaut days, it was that fat guy who now coaches Kansas who
handled that. :) And although it seems silly to say that this game
will be more defensive than Utah's last (ANY game would,
actually...), that's what will happen. Scoring less, but still
winning game number two for 2004, call it Utah by 10.

Texas at Arkansas
When I was a little kid living in Texas, there WERE no bigger games
than Texas versus Arkansas. The Hogs and the Horns, baby. Southwest
Conference football at its historic best. This game wasn't just
big....it was BIG. But, times have changed. Arkansas has left for
the SEC and Texas spends most of their time worrying about Oklahoma.
The good news for the dubitable Longhorn leader Mack Brown is that
this USED to be a big game. USED to be. Building up speed for the
eventual October trainwreck in Dallas, look for UT to win, even on
the road in Arkansas. Longhorns by 6.

Michigan at Notre Dame
Before last weekend's opener, a prime topic for fans and commentators
was whether or not Notre Dame would win 8 games (or more) this year.
But after a season-opening upset loss to BYU, the question de jour
seems to have shifted to Coach Ty Willingham. What do all of you
think? Next year, will he be working for ESPN, ABC or CBS? Notre
Dame IS a school of tradition, and quite of few of their ex-coaches
HAVE moved on to broadcasting. Speaking of tradition, the Golden
Domers tend to get into a cranky mood when they (a) open a season 0-2
or (b) lose to their hated rivals from Michigan. Looks like a double-
dipper year for Ty and his guys. Michigan by 10.