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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
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It's time to finish up the Prophet's bowl picks for this college
season. No matter how these selections pan out, be advised that
they were made BEFORE I began any New Year's celebratory behavior.
Happy New Year, everyone. I'll see you all next year!

New Year's Day, 2004
The Outback Bowl,
Florida vs Iowa
It's not an unusual sight to see people collecting money outside
major sporting events, especially during the holiday season. In
most cases, it's for charitable endeavors and the like. However, if
you see any Gator fans manning the kettles outside Raymond James
Stadium down in Tampa, it'll be to raise money for the 2004 "Buy out
Ron Zook" campaign. Now that Steve Spurrier is potentially back on
the market, Zookie definitely has a short shelf life, six game
winning streak including wins over Georgia and LSU or not. Look for
the Gator fans to give `till it hurts while their guys are doing the
same out on the field. It's just that the two groups will have
opposite motives. UF may not prevail in a going-way manner, but it
might seem that way to their present head coach. Gators by 10.

The Capital One Bowl,
Georgia vs Purdue
The last time Georgia and Purdue met, it was also in a "Capital One
Bowl". Purdue stormed to a 25 point lead, only to see a furious
Bulldog rally cap a comeback Jawja win. It's said that lightening
doesn't strike twice in the same place, but Mark Richt and UGA know
better. They got struck by Louisiana lightening twice this year,
and it was worse the second time around. Look for the Dawgs to
again prevail on New Year's Day, perhaps without first spotting the
Boilermakers a big lead. Bulldogs by 9.

The Gator Bowl,
West Virginia vs Maryland
When rivals collide, the losing team usually utters those famous
words, "wait'll next year". It's often the only way to save face,
especially if the loss was a big one. But with this crazy bowl set-
up, re-matches are becoming more and more common. I bet when, back
in September, Maryland's fans were laughing at the West
Virginia "next years", they didn't realize that the rematch would
occur on the first day of "next year". Next September or October
would seem to be more than soon enough for Ralph Friedgen and the
Terps, who have little to gain in this contest. Big winners the
first time around, they now face a Mountaineer squad that caught
fire after a close loss to Miami, and damned near won the Big East.
Procrastination isn't always a bad thing, and in Maryland's case,
haste will definitely make waste. Giving UM the old New England
Patriots-Buffalo Bills revenge treatment, call this one for the
hillbillies. West Virginia by 10.

The Orange Bowl,
Miami vs Florida State
When rivals collide, the losing team usually utters those famous
words, "wait'll next year". It's often the only way to save face,
especially if the loss was a big one. But with this crazy bowl set-
up, re-matches are becoming more and more common. I bet when, back
in October, Miami's four or five hundred true fans were laughing at
the FSU "next years", they didn't realize that the rematch would
occur on the first day of "next year". Early September would seem
to be more than soon enough for Larry Coker and his suddenly
puzzling Hurricanes, who have little to gain in this contest.
Winners the first time around, they now face a Seminole squad that,
for once, stuck together after the close loss to Miami, almost
accidently winning the ACC in the process. Procrastination isn't
always a bad thing, but in Miami's case, there's no time like the
present. Although FSU got pushed all over the field in Tallahassee,
there has been a tendency for `Nole fans to blame the weather and
the game plan. The rain and Jeff Bowden's brain didn't help things
in October, but the Canes' secondary and defensive lines were major
factors, too. If FSU doesn't find a way to run for a few yards, a
dry field may only make things worse in south Florida. Hopefully,
there won't be two losses to the Hurricanes for FSU in 2004. But,
I'm afraid that there's gonna be at least one. THIS one. Miami
by 7.

The Rose Bowl,
USC vs Michigan
The BCS is a lot of things. Unfair is perhaps the most accurate
adjective that can describe the present championship formula. But
unfair and unjust as it may be, the BCS is also shockingly lucky.
Look for the luck to continue in Pasadena as a Trojan squad still
seething over the Sugar Bowl snub fails to deal with Michigan
effectively. It's a funny thing....if USC had gone to New Orleans,
I'd have probably picked them to win it all. But, I don't see them
pulling out the consolation game, even in their own backyard. In an
upset, Michigan by 2. (...if and when USC proves me wrong, you'll
thank me, Rebel Fred!)

½/2004
The Cotton Bowl,
Mississippi vs Oklahoma State
When I was growing up, I lived in north Texas. I used to think that
the Cotton Bowl was the bee's knees. You were something when your
team played in big D on New Year's Day. Things HAVE changed. The
proud CB is no longer considered one of the major bowls, and this
year, it's not even being played on New Year's Day. But one thing
will be the same. There'll be plenty of honest-to-goodness cowboys
up in the stands looking on. That should make the Okie State
Cowpokes feel pretty much at home, even in the Lone Star State. OSU
finally came up with enough cattle to match their Big XII hat, and
it resulted in an almost-big bowl invitation. But, the Rebs on the
opposite sideline are far from greenhorns. And if ever anyone
deserved to wear a big white hat because he's such a good guy, it'd
be Eli Manning. "Eli' Coming" may not be sung around Ole Miss much
longer, but I don't see any way they'll let him saddle up to ride
into the NFL sunset as a loser. Mississippi's gonna flavor this
barbecue to their liking. Rebels by 4.

The Peach Bowl,
Tennessee vs Clemson
With the Vols, the Tigers and all the Peach Bowl regalia, this is
going to be one orange football game. Thank God it's not being
played as the Humanitarian Bowl up on that nauseating blue field in
Boise. That'd be enough to short-circuit any quality plasma high-
def unit. Last year, Phil Fulmer's UT squad parlayed their
disappointment with a Peach Bowl bid into a rout loss to Maryland.
This year, UT doesn't arrive in Atlanta any happier, feeling that
they were squeezed out of a trip to the Outback Bowl by their
friends down at Florida. As for their opponent, Tommy Bowden and
his Clemson Tigers are happy to be IN a bowl as good as the Peach
Classic. In fact, Tommy's kind of happy to be still employed as a
head coach. Look for Clemson to mark an "X" on another day of
Tennessee's calender of winter discontent. For the second
embarassing year in a row, an ACC also-ran runs by the Volunteers.
Clemson by 6.

The Fiesta Bowl,
Kansas State vs Ohio State
The Buckeyes loved their last trip to Tempe, collecting the 2002
national title. On that date, they outlasted a Miami team that many
considered unbeatable. It's something that OSU has in common with
their 2004 Fiesta Bowl opponents from K-State. The Wildcats have a
little streak of "Man of La Mancha" (....to reach the unreachable
star, remember???) flowing their bloodstream, too. The Cat rout in
Kansas City's Big XII championship game was perhaps a bigger
surprise than last year's Buckeye Bingo against the Hurricanes. As
for this contest, we have to remember that defense wins big games.
Both States have excellent D's and are stingier than Ebenezer
Scrooge around the old goal-line. So, that brings us to the other
side of scrimmage. Ell Roberson and company have offensive hops, as
any Sooner linebacker will tell you. As for Ohio State, they used
to have Maurice Clarett, right? The Bucks may have THE best
defense on this field, but you still have to score at least a little
to win. On Friday, it's going to be too little and too late for
the defending national champs. K-State adds a little more enjoyment
to their first BCS bowl trip. Wildcats by 4.

1/3/2004
The Humanitarian Bowl,
Georgia Tech vs Tulsa
My God. Can you imagine anything more horrible than seeing a bowl
game between Georgia Tech and Tulsa? What if said game were to be
held in Boise, Idaho? In early January? Outdoors? How about
playing it on a hard and frozen artificial turf field? What if the
field were an atrocious shade of blue, rather than green? And what
if, just to be completely ludicrous, they called this travesty
the "Humanitarian Bowl"? For the players, fans and TV audience, the
only way to make this game any more INhumane would be to play it in
that unfortunate Iranian city that just fell into the earth. (...a
sick side comment....could "Bam", Iran have a more appropriate
name?) If the Yellowjacket players will take a cue from their rowdy
roadie fans, they'll get liquored up before the opening whistle. It
might be the only way to keep their blood from icing over. Assuming
less than total-icebox conditions, look for "Tulsa Time" to run out
rather quickly on Saturday. Watch this one long enough to get your
fill of that blue field, and then find a nice NFL Wild Card game to
soothe your agony. Georgia Tech by 7.

1/4/2004
The Sugar Bowl,
Oklahoma vs LSU
Ticket to the Nokia Sugar Bowl game, $100.

Trip to New Orleans for 4 days, ultra-first
class all the way, $4,000.

Watching reruns of arrogant Bob Stoopes explaining
why his Oklahoma Sooners DESERVE to play
for the national title despite a 28 point
drubbing in the Big XII title game, priceless.

OK, I admit it. I'd bought into the idea that OU was invincible,
and that they might be one of the greatest college teams of recent
memory. It looked like they'd be the second team to do the wire-to-
wire thing for the national title. Nobody, including me, ever
doubted that Oklahoma deserved to play in the Sugar Bowl. In fact,
we doubted that anyone else deserved to play THEM. K State educated
more than OU with their stunning Big XII title win. They produced
the blueprint on how to deal with the Sooners. The home-standing
Bayou Bengals of LSU need only master the lessons taught via TV from
Kansas City, and they could claim (at least) a share of the national
championship. The crowd in the Big Easy will be backing State by at
least a 10:1 ratio. And, nobody is more emotional than a drunken
bunch of LSU fans. But returning to reality, let's remember this.
Most of us never believed that OU could ever lose. Most
importantly, OU didn't believe it, and now they know better. LSU
may learn lessons from K-State, but that doesn't mean Stoopes and
company are uneducable. Maybe Jason White and company should send
flowers to Bill Snyder and the Wildcats when this one's over. It
wasn't the path that the Okies would have chosen, but they'll
approve of the destination. Wearing a crown that will be less
tarnished with the passing of following years, New Orleans hosts
another coronation for the Sooners. Oklahoma by 6.

OK everyone, that's it for this year. I'll try to send out a final
recap (or should I say reCRAP?) of the season record in a week or
two. Your addresses will remain on my list and you'll find yourself
pursued relentlessly by me again in 2004, starting next June or so.
IF you change email addresses, please go to the prophet yahoo site
(groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks) and update.

You can also email me directly at prophetfootball@....
Thanks for reading and supporting the Prophet this year. Take care
of yourselves in this darkness we refer to as the "off-season".