= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2003 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks
=============================================================
Well folks, this second batch of bowl choices is being sent out on
Christmas Eve. And in a true miracle of the season, I have yet to
miss a bowl game. However, as I put the finishing touches on this
second round of picks, the New Mexico Lobos are falling further and
further behind in the Las Vegas Bowl. I guess I knew that my
success couldn't possibly continue. But seeing as it's the holiday
season, can't I continue to wish upon a gridiron star??

OK, here are my picks through New Year's Eve....

12/25
The Hawaii Bowl,
Houston vs Hawaii
Have you noticed how little work is being put into naming the more
recent bowl games? It's become pretty much the plan to just name it
after the city or state, e.g. "The Fort Worth Bowl" "The New
Orleans Bowl", etc. In a beautiful state such as Hawaii, you'd
think someone would be a bit more creative. There are volcanoes,
flowers and tropical fruits after which this Christmas classic
could've been named? Who wouldn't want to attend the "Passion
Fruit Bowl"? One could only imagine the half-time show. Then
again, in the case of THIS game, maybe the moniker "Hawaii Bowl" is
more of a truth-in-advertising thing. The major focus of the bowl
DOES appear to be in providing a holiday home for the UH (formerly
Rainbow) Warriors. Let's just hope NBC doesn't get any ideas to
hold an annual "Notre Dame Bowl" for whenever the Irish don't
qualify for some other game. As for picking this hometown luau,
let's just assume that the Houston Cougars will view a trip to
Hawaii during Christmas first as a vacation and second as a job.
It's that old trap of Hawaii nailing mainlanders in paradise during
the holidays. It works for travel agents and island merchants.
There's no reason to see it be any less effective for football
teams. Hawaii by 7.

The Motor City Bowl,
Bowling Green vs Northwestern
If you want any evidence that there are too many college bowl games,
just realize that Northwestern is playing in one. Now, I'm really
not here to diss the Wildcats, I'm sure they're fine guys and they
played a few good games in 2003. But in all honesty, they're as out
of place in the post-season as a cheeseburger at Benihana's. As for
their opponents, the Falcons of Bowling Green State University, the
opposite is true. As members of the giant-killing MAC, the birds
earned another sixty minutes to show off for America. Many feel
that the Mid-America conference deserved a third bowl participant
this year, and I might just agree. When the sixth or seventh place
team in the Big Ten gets an invitation, you'd have to suspect that
the post-season could use a little more MAC, too. Making the most
of their conference's two invites, look for BG to make it 2-0 for
the MAC. Falcons by 8.

The Insight Bowl,
Virginia Tech vs California
Sure, the Hokies had to travel 3,000 miles to play in their post-
season bowl. But, is there any better location for Frank
Beamer's "on and off the Beam" Turkeys than the "Insight" Bowl? The
nation probably could use some insight as to how a team that seemed
to have a better than average shot at the Sugar Bowl back in October
can end up playing in California on Christmas Day. And as for
insight on the other sideline, let's try one more time to explain
how the Golden Bears managed to beat mighty USC. No real reason as
to why, but I think this little Christmas barn dance might be Tech's
opportunity to introduce the nation to Michael Vick's little bro,
and to showcase some of the trouble he's capable of causing. Hokies
by 3.

12/27
The Continental Tire Bowl,
Virginia vs Pittsburgh
OK, I'll let all the other comedy prognosticators make the jokes
about hoping the "Tire" bowl isn't a blowout. Too easy. I'd prefer
to discuss warranties, with regard to the radial angle. Two things
can lead to tire failure, as any pressure-gauge jockey will tell
you. There's the unexpected road hazard, AND there's wear and
tear. The Panthers of good old PU didn't have any problems with
road hazards in 2003, as all of their losses appear to have occurred
in the Steel City. So, out on the road in the Carolinas shouldn't,
in itself, prove any undue stress. But, let's check out that wear
and tear groove.... If you want to preserve your tires, everyone
knows that it's advisable to rotate tires periodically. College
offensive gameplan should follow a similar strategy. The key to
having a really "Goodyear" is to rotate your play-calling.
Something tells me that Pitt has been running hard on their best
tread, one Mr. Larry Fitzgerald, for most of the season. Unless
Pitt can steer in another effective direction, at least for a lap or
two, their race in Charlotte should be over before it gets
started. Believe me, if ANYONE knows how to scatter defensive
nails in the right place, it's Al Groh of Virginia. Retreading down
the road of one-man-teamsmanship, look for the Panthers to come up
short on this stretch of Tobacco Road. Virginia by 2.

12/29
The Alamo Bowl,
Nebraska vs Michigan State
Ah, "Remember the Alamo"! The winner of this San Antonio stroll
will be the club that has the best memory. In order for Michigan
State to come out on top, the Spartans have to remember the success
of 2003, forgetting such unfortunate instances as the Michigan
game. There's plenty of offensive talent on the green sideline, and
the indoor Alamo Bowl should guarantee a fast track for the air
game. Speaking of the air game, Nebraska has best remember to
occasionally throw the football, maybe at least 3-4% of the time.
If the Huskers try that old time Big Red story of run, run, run,
then MSU boss John Williams will have at least 14 or 15 guys on the
line of scrimmage, bent on stopping the rush. One other little goal
for Nebraska might be to complete a few of these passes, too. If
Cornhusker Lord can avoid being "God-awful" as a passer, NU might be
1-0 in the post-Solich era. And speaking of memories and Solich,
Nebraska might also want to remember to hire a head coach.
Recruiting with a coaching vacancy doesn't tend to go really well.
I really wanted to call this one for Big Red, but then ::I::
remembered everything that appears to be wrong in and around Lincoln
these days. It hasn't been a happy pigskin holiday season on the
plains, and it won't be any better in Bexar County, Texas. MSU by 3.

12/30
The Houston Bowl,
Texas Tech vs Navy
Here we go with another bowl game named simply after the host city.
However, unlike the Hawaii Bowl, this game doesn't appear to exist
to provide a holiday home for the hometown Houston Cougars, who had
the good sense to visit Oahu for Christmas. Speaking of the
islands, wouldn't you figure Navy to be a better fit for the Hawaii
Bowl than Houston? Talk about guaranteeing a crowd with all the
sailors in the Honolulu area. Oh well, back on task...please
forgive me for preferring to talk about Hawaii over Houston. This
game is a classic contest of "the run versus the pass". The
Midshipmen had an excellent ground game in 2003, running away with
the Commander-in-Chief's trophy. And if passing is your game, who
could forget this year's Texas Tech vs Mississippi game, in which
Raider QB Symons slung forth with 600 plus yards passing? As for
the pick, it's important to remember one simple fact. A good
running team can score points in buckets WHILE controlling the
clock. But, a team with the passing firepower of Texas Tech scores
points in barrels, simultaneously blowing up both the scoreboard and
clock. Navy had better get ahead and stay there. It says here that
they'll not do so. Texas Tech by 10.

The Holiday Bowl,
Texas vs Washington State
Lost in the long list of teams screwed over by the BCS are the Texas
Longhorns. I don't suppose it was the BCS itself that hosed UT, but
rather the K-State upset of Oklahoma. One minute, Mack Brown and
company are lazing in Austin, trying to decide if they'd prefer the
Fiesta or the Rose Bowl for their New Year's pleasure. THEN, OU
goes down, taking Texas with them. Come to think of it, Oklahoma
finds a way to "do" Texas, win or lose! A lot of people expect this
Holiday Bowl to be highly entertaining, with lots of offensive
explosiveness. That might actually happen, too. The Longhorns and
Wazoo Cougars are far more comfortable on the offensive side of
scrimmage. And historically, the Holiday Bowl has produced its
share of scoreboard eruptions. Then again, any bowl that spent its
first few years hosting BYU in their heyday wasn't destined to set
any defensive records. Speaking of destiny, it's becoming the
modus operandi for Texas to always be on the outside looking in,
with regard to the BCS. Texas has only played in one "BCS" bowl
game since the demise of the Southwest Conference. Does anyone
suppose that Texas fans have noticed? Here's hoping that Mack
enjoys this holiday. His mad cows had best make this a holiday to
forget for Washington State. Otherwise, ol' Saint Nick may have to
visit the Brown household somewhere OTHER than Austin come next
December. Texas by 6.

The Silicon Valley Classic,
UCLA vs Fresno State
The Bulldogs of FSU-West have been fighting a long battle for
recognition out west. Home contests against Pac Ten opponents have
been rare occurrences, especially since FSU keeps embarassing the
big boys. The Silicon Valley Classic offers another chance to lure
some Pac Ten golden boys into the valley for an ambush. Glad to
accept ANY bowl invitation, the UCLA Bruins are choosing to ignore
the obvious trap being set in Fresno. But unlike some other recent
Fresno-big boy encounters, it might be the Bulldogs who've bitten
off more than they could chew in this one. In this salute to the
Silicon chip industry, look for UCLA to transistorize Fresno State
with superior size, speed and depth. Coaching will only keep it
close for a while. UCLA by 7.

12/31
The Music City Bowl,
Auburn vs Wisconsin
After all the internecine chicanery involved with Auburn Coach Tommy
Tuberville's contract situation, it seems almost cruel to see him
again "facing the music" in 2003. But, this could be a less morose
tune, as the music in question is simply the "Music City Bowl", in
Nashville, Tennessee. I don't know if Barry Alvarez and his
Wisconsin Badgers can carry a tune, but they can sure carry a
football. "W" has a solid running game, and can more than decide a
football game with ball control. However, the Badgers CAN be a
little one dimensional at times. Auburn, of course, suffers from
the same malady....only more so. In this clash of two ground
armies, WHOMEVER gets behind will probably stay behind. So, if
you're having trouble deciding WHICH game(s) to stick with on New
Year's Eve, remember this.....if either of these two teams gets more
than 7 points in front in Nashville, this tune is done. Look for
the Auburn barn dance to trump the Wisconsin polka as Tuberville
conducts his Tigers to a 10 point win.

The Sun Bowl,
Oregon vs Minnesota
El Paso's long-running Sun Bowl hosts two of America's most
interestingly-nicknamed college teams. West Texas marks the place
for confrontation between Oregon's Ducks and Minnesota's Golden
Gophers. The Yankee rats may be most at home in an underground
environment. But, with the mid-to-late season collapse in Eugene,
the Dux might want to move below the surface as well. For those of
you who've lost touch with Oregon since their early-season upset of
Michigan, you might want to tune in to see exactly HOW ugly those
legendary uniforms are. (...speaking of another reason to live
underground) Look for the Big Ten Gophers to dig up a few more
nuggets of gold on this prospecting trip in old El Paso. Ordering
up a round of Duck Burritos, call this one Minnesota by 3.


The Liberty Bowl,
Southern Mississippi vs Utah
It's appropriate that Southern Mississippi stumbled into the LIBERTY
Bowl to end this season. A few weeks ago, the Eagles' monumental
win over TCU "freed" the BCS and college football from the specter
of great controversy that might have occurred with regard to the
championship game. (I'm glad that any possibility of a split or
disputed title is now gone, aren't you??) Anyway, in this
encounter, Urban Meyer's tribe of Utah Utes have traveled a long
trail to Memphis, in search of Eagle feathers to finish up their
2003 war bonnets. But, something tells me that the Mississippi
birds aren't going to be in any kind of giving mood in this
contest. Patrick Henry once said "give me Liberty or give me
death". On Wednesday night, USM gets Liberty and Utah gets death.
And, I get to put away the Patrick Henry jokes until next year's
Liberty Bowl. Southern Miss by 9.

The Independence Bowl,
Arkansas vs Missouri
Both Arkansas and Missouri have experienced reasonably good 2003
seasons. Both had an opportunity to defeat the contestants that
will be facing off in the Sugar Bowl. But alas, the Tigers and
Razorbacks were routed by LSU and Oklahoma. And, that's why they
find themselves playing without a roof in Louisiana during the
holiday season. Speaking of roofs, I don't see this game as the
sort that could blow off a ceiling. But then again, it just might
be competitive. And, after some of the earlier bowl games, that's
saying something. This is also the first trip to a post-season
contest for Mizzou in quite a few years. Look for Tiger QB Brad
Smith to exhibit his skills to a few more college fans via ESPN's
national broadcast. I see the cats slopping the Ozark Hogs,
although it's gonna be close. Missouri by 1.

The San Francisco Bowl,
Boston College vs Colorado State
You'd think that any bowl committee representing so insignificant a
contest as the "San Francisco Bowl" would do their best to (at
least) find a team from Pacific time zone as one of their
contestants. With all the weird and interesting things to do in the
Bay Area on New Year's Eve, it's only the hardest of hard core
college fan who'll find their way to a match between Colorado State
and Boston College. Now, I believe that BC is probably happy to be
making this trip. It's colder than hell back in Beantown, and the
parties are bound to be much wilder out west. CSU, on the other
hand, is more likely concerned with the ski parties they're missing
back in Fort Collins. Seeing as how I believe the Eagles are
the "Minnie Pearls" in this game (note to non-southerners....Minnie
Pearl used to always say "I'm just so proud to BE here!"), I see
them leaving their hearts in Frisco with a nice little win. As for
the Rams, I still believe their hearts are back in the Rockies. BC
by 6.

OK, in a few days I'll be back with the 2004 bowl game picks.
Everyone have a great Christmas/Holiday season and stay safe.