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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2003 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 11/15/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 432
GAMES CORRECT 322
PCT CORRECT 74.5%
=============================================================
Thursday, November 20, 2003
TCU at Southern Mississippi
Thursday night brings us the last and greatest stumbling block to
TCU going undefeated and crashing the BCS. And, the mere fact that
Southern Miss is ANY team's greatest challenge sums up what is wrong
with the Horned Frogs' desire to ascend the national ladder. The
other "good" team that USM played at home this year was Nebraska,
and the Cornhuskers clobbered the Eagles. So this is the bottom
line, Frog fans. Beating Southern Miss isn't going to impress
enough voters or computers to get you into the Sugar Bowl. But
lining up in Hattiesburg, instead of Columbus, Baton Rouge, Miami,
Tallahassee, Ann Arbor, Los Angeles or any number of other football
holy places, is one way to increase your chances of NOT getting
booted out of the Fiesta, Rose or Orange Bowl(s). TCU by (again) 3.

Friday, November 21, 2003
Boise State at Fresno State
As mentioned above, a lot of "non-BCS" clubs have complained that
they receive no national respect. The "non-BCS" poster boys at TCU
are the club getting the most ink. Earlier in the year, Northern
Illinois made some noise, too. But, the outsider club that has most
impressed the Prophet is Boise State. If ESPN wants me to tune in
on Friday night, they'd switch some opponents around from the
Thursday game. Let Southern Miss play Fresno State. Then, we could
see how those boys from Fort Worth would do trying to ride these
wild horses from Idaho. Boise State by 10.

Saturday, November 22, 2003
Oklahoma State at Baylor
Waylon and Willie used to sing "mommas, don't let your babies grow
up to be Cowboys". But, they might want to re-do the lyrics for
this weekend's battle in Waco. Growing up to be a Baylor Bear a
much worse proposition this year, as being a Baylor Bear appears to
be the bottom of the Big XII barrel. Okie State by 14.

Boston College at Virginia Tech
At this point in the season, you could really use the word "quitter"
to describe both Virginia Tech and Boston College. Neither club can
now be counted on for an A+ effort on any given Saturday. However,
whereas Tech has only recently joined the ranks of the
disappointing, BC has been punching (or should I say NOT punching?)
the old "Failure to Measure Up" time-clock since mid-September.
Experience matters, folks. Tech by 6.

West Virginia at Syracuse
I was going to make some crack about West Virginia taking over the
Big East when all the "city" schools depart for the ACC. But then I
remembered that Virginia Tech is leaving, too. Not too many
country club members in Blacksburg, you know. But in THIS game,
it'll be another golden opportunity for the Morganton Hillbillies to
visit a place with indoor plumbing. I look for WVU to flush
the `cuse in a western New York minute. Mountaineers by 14. And
speaking of "bowls", guess who might be headed to a big one come
January???

Georgia Tech at Virginia
The late-season ACC scramble features two teams led by former NFL
coaches. Certainly Chan Gailey and Al Groh have seen ups and downs
in their coaching careers, and they know how to keep a team
motivated once championship opportunities have diminished. Then
again, seeing as how college football has no "wild cards" or
playoffs, Al and Chan might just find themselves out of motivational
bullets. As for this game, methinks that Virginia still has more
live ammo left, among the blanks, to target a home conference win.
Cavaliers by 6.

Pittsburgh at Temple
Boy, have things gotten screwy in the Big LEast. Last weekend, the
(just a few weeks ago) dominating Virginia Tech Hokies had a huge
scare thrown into them by Temple. Temple? Jeez Marie. As for
Pittsburgh, they probably scare themselves as much as anything. You
never really know which team is going to show up. And if an
opponent can run the football, it's "Katy, bar the door". The whole
thing kind of makes me afraid to venture a pick. Franklin Roosevelt
once said that we had nothing to fear but fear itself. He was
wrong, as I fear being wrong. Fearfully, I choose Pittsburgh by 10.

Utah at BYU
At first, I thought of writing some sort of humor involving native
Americans raiding the Mormon settler fortress in Provo. But, in an
attempt to be more politically correct, I decided to PUN on such a
childish opportunity. Besides, trying to make light of BYU football
in such historical context would be "UTEless". I'll bet you thought
I'd made a typo when I wrote pun instead of punt above. Getting a
kick out of playing with your minds, folks.... Utah by 16.

Army at Hawaii
The Cadets might be hoping for some Honolulu support on this LONG
road trip. It's true that Hawaii hosts a huge contingent of
military personnel. But, the bad news is that most of them are
Navy, and there's no way they'd root for Army against the local
Rainbow Warriors. So, look for Army to travel half-way around the
world to get something they could get (and have been getting) in
their own backyard. Hawaii by 10.

Purdue at Indiana
Losses at Ohio State and Michigan have put Purdue's Rose Bowl hopes
in the proverbial can. But, that doesn't mean they'll dump an
opportunity to pour it on against Indiana in the annual battle for
the Old Oaken Bucket. The Boilermakers have had a few
disappointments this year, but they pale (or in this case, should I
say pail??) in comparison to their old oaken basket case chums in
Bloomington. Bucketing my trend of picking upsets this week, let's
stick with the favorite in this one. Purdue by 14.

Iowa at Wisconsin
A friend of mine at work, who happens to be FROM Wisconsin, walked
up to me the other day and said, "you missed the Wisconsin game
again, didn't you"? And of course, she was right. I always miss
the Wisconsin game. She then added, "you don't like Wisconsin much,
do you?", to which I replied, "no, I don't". As for why, I have two
reasons. First, there's the lack of love shown to the Prophet BY
the Badgers. They lose when I say they'll win, and they win when I
say they'll lose. How many kicks into the old cods can one guy
take? And then there is their football philosophy. I live in the
south, and I love a high powered passing game. The Badgers are an
old fashioned, Woody Hayes-type, grind it out team. There's nothing
wrong with a solid running game. But, I don't like teams that are
toast when they fall behind more than one score. If I liked games
that were over at that point, I might reconsider soccer. It's not a
north-south thing....Auburn annoys me, too. Same reasons. I
actually DO like Barry Alvarez. I met him once many years ago. HE
was a senior linebacker for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and I was a
sixth grader in Montgomery, Alabama. I met him on the field after
the 1967 Blue-Gray football game. I wonder if he remembers. I
remember that he and his fellow Yankees won that game. FWIW, I also
met Governor George Wallace that same day. OK, back to my pick.
Taking my medicine, I'll pick one power team (Wisconsin) over
another power team that seems to have had their plug pulled in
recent weeks. And now that I've anointed Wisconsin at this week's
winner, Iowa fans, please send your smoked hams and other midwestern
treats to my home address. If you send them to my job, I'll have to
share them with my co-workers. Go BADgers. Wisconsin by 6.

Penn State at Michigan State
I see an upset here, my dear Propheteers. Why?? Because scruffy
old Joe Paterno won't do what Michigan State apparently (based on
last weekend in Wisconsin) has done this year, namely quit. The
Spartans are playing for season's end, while the Lions are playing
for a legend. Penn State by 3.

Northwestern at Illinois
I read in a newspaper where attendance is way up at cultural events
in the state of Illinois. And, I think I know why...it's all the
former football fans looking for something else to do. Maybe after
a season of watching the Illinois Frightened Illini, the
Northwestern Mildcats AND the professional (or so they say) Chicago
Bares, I'd be ready to dig some "Swan Lake", too. I guess you could
say this is the contest to decide who is the worst major college
football team in the state. It's being played in "Champaign", but
wouldn't expect to hear the clink of any local glasses at game's
end. It should be the visiting felines from Evanston who pour
bubbly in celebration, I call it Northwestern by 4.

Iowa State at Kansas
With a couple of early wins, the Fighting Manginos of Kansas stirred
up quite a prairie storm. But, as expectations grew and opponents
became cognizant of KU's move from abysmal to mediocre, the
victories became scarce. Another chance to record a conference win
might present itself Saturday with the forecasted arrival of a
Cyclone or two from Iowa. This is the kind of game where anything
could happen, seeing as neither team is headed anywhere in the
postseason. But, I think the Jayhawks can take whatever winds Iowa
State can muster at this late date, especially in the friendly
confines of Lawrence. (I wonder if people who are REAL familiar with
Lawrence get to call it Larry??? Larry, Kansas does have a real
friendly ring to it. :) KU by 3. (Hey Camster, that "Larry"
shtick was just for you!)

Miami(OH) at Ohio
This contest should cement the Miami Redhawks' status as the second-
best college football team in the state of Ohio. In fact, if they
were in the Big Ten, they could have claim to being the third best
team in THAT conference. But for now, they'll have to focus on
Detroit in December rather than Pasadena in January. Miami(OH) by
30.

Missouri at Kansas State
Bill Snyder may want (soon to be ex) Nebraska Coach Frank Solich on
his K-State staff. He's sure done everything possible over the
last few seasons to get the F-man fired. And speaking of other
ulterior motives, Snyder seems to be the only coach in any hurry to
hookup with Oklahoma in the Big XII title game. All I can say is
that he must be in line for a HUGE bonus for getting into the
championship game. They'd have to pay me a chunk of change to hop
into a meat grinder with a smile. State's Saturday punching bags
are the Tigers from Columbia. These Show-Me state kitties will be
shown a sorry time in Manhattan as they supply the final leg to K-
State's title game odyssey. Go with the wilder of the cats involved
here, K-State by 12.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee
A huge win at Miami two weekends ago seems to have invigorated the
Tennessee football program. Perhaps upsetting the hated Canes was
just the "wake up" call needed by Phil Fulmer's Vols. I see no
return to somnambulance this Saturday either, so long as the big
Orange players can avoid swallowing the sleeping pill that is
Vanderbilt football. Beating the Commodores HAS, however, proved
habit forming for most of the SEC, and I see the pattern continued
Saturday in Knoxville. Tennessee by 24.

Maryland at NC State
Wolfpack boss Chuck Amato showed himself to be a true gambler last
Saturday in Tallahassee, when he chose to go for a 1st down on 4th
and 1 in overtime. Rolling the dice proved snake-eyes for Daddy
Chuck, but he said he'd gamble again if given a chance. Gotta love
that attitude. The only cure for losing is winning, right?
Speaking of gambles, I'd say asking rotund Ralph Friedgen anywhere
near your home around Thanksgiving might be asking for it. Tell
Mrs. Amato to make an extra trip to Piggly Wiggly, Chuck. NC State
by 2.

Duke at North Carolina
It would be so easy to describe this as a battle between two schools
looking forward to basketball season, as things haven't exactly been
rosy on the gridiron at Durham and Chapel Hill. But in North
Carolina's case, roundball hasn't been Nirvana, either. But with
new coach Roy Williams calling the old pick and roll, I'd expect
things to pick up around the Heels' hoops. As for this contest, I'm
with most of the fans. Who really cares? Which, if either, team
will show up? And, I'm not being figurative, folks. I literally
wonder if either team will PHYSICALLY show up. Never mind the
fans. It's a given that they'll stay away in droves. As for my
pick, let's go with the Duke double (Devils win in both football and
basketball). Blue Devils win on the road, let's call it by a three
point shot.

Kentucky at Georgia
Mark Richt's Georgia pups have hopefully learned their lesson, with
regard to playing up and down to the competition. In the days
preceding the Florida-Georgia cocktail party, the Dogs sniffed
around in games against Vanderbilt and UAB, getting nothing more
than a win in each case. The loss to the Gators looked potentially
devastating, with an athletic directors' vote to determine the SEC
East winner staring them in the face. Then they got
lucky....twice. First, the SEC quickly changed their rules to ape
the BCS plan, with only a couple of "what ifs" tossed in for fun.
Then, the schizo Tennessee Vols decided to defeat mighty Miami,
thereby wedging themselves between Georgia and the only SEC East
rival to defeat Jawja this year, eliminating Florida's chance to get
into Atlanta on a technicality. Florida State's loss to Clemson,
thereby destroying the UF strength of schedule plan, was just
insurance. So, the lesson being taught by the UK Cats in this
obedience school session is simple. Play football. Take care of
business. If Mark's dogs fail to bury their bones, some other
dog....say a hound named Smokey....might just pick them up and head
to Hotlanta. Look for this dog and cat fight to go as biologically
intended. Georgia by 14.

Mississippi State at Arkansas
I understand that Arkansas coach Houston Nutt gave Jackie Sherrill a
call early this week. It wasn't that Houston wanted to specifically
wish the old man a happy retirement, although I'm sure the sentiment
was shared. Nutt actually needed Jackie's advice on a defensive
scheme. It seems that the Hogs' starting linebacker was arrested
last week, and the Razorback headman had to figure Jackie'd know a
good defense attorney. Whether he did or not isn't known. But
speaking of crime, it's almost criminal the degree to which
Mississippi State has quit on this season. So, unless they load the
entire Razorback starting 22 into a paddy wagon, I'd say Saturday
will be a jailbreak for the Arky offense AND defense. Assault and
battery, and a whole lot more....Arkansas by 21.

California at Stanford
The Cal-Stanford contest produced one of college football's greatest
finishes. How many times have YOU seen the Bears' famous last play
where the guy returns a kick with fans and band members already on
the field celebrating a Cardinal victory? It's a continuing joke
that Stanford would have won that day if ONLY the Trombone player
could make a tackle. Well, quite a bit of time has passed, but
things are much the same in the Bay Area. The Stanford band still
can't play defense....in fact, they can't even play Sousa, but
that's another matter. And history will repeat itself on Saturday,
probably with a lot less notoriety. California by 7.

Oregon State at Oregon
One of Autzen Stadium's nicknames is "the duck pond". And although
both Beavers and Ducks call ponds home territory, I don't believe
the OSU flat-tails will find any home comfort in this Eugene
waterhole. The Beavers will have to find some other stream to damn
on Saturday if they hope to feel at home, because the welcome mat is
not out at the University of Oregon. Ducks by 2.

Clemson at South Carolina
The state of South Carolina is becoming a deadly place for to be a
college football coach. All season long, Clemson coach Tommy Bowden
has been on the proverbial hot seat. Recent wins over Florida State
and Duke may have cooled things a bit, but lil' Bowden is far from
safely employed. And after last weekend's loss to Florida, I've
learned that there is now a website (www.firelouholtz.com) dedicated
to retiring Lou the weasel. So, if ever there were "must win" games
for both sides, this is it. Let's put it this way... Clemson is
playing better and they seem to have a renewed focus on football.
But, this is only Tommy Bowden's 8th year as a head coach. Lou
Holtz has been coaching football since before Tommy was born. And
unlike Tommy, Lou's been fired before. He knows it's not the end of
the world. I'm sure the weasel will offer encouragement and
sympathy when the post-game handshake occurs. Showing that 40 year
veterans know how to win in "must" situations, look for the
Gamecocks to protect their coop and Lou's job. In an upset, South
Carolina by 3.

Oklahoma at Texas Tech
Some people believe that they'll need extra generators to keep the
scoreboard going in this contest. And, it's true that both Oklahoma
and TT have great offenses. But, you'll notice that the Stoops
brothers haven't given up on the defensive side of the equation.
It's said that offenses win fans and defenses win championships.
Nobody ever said the Stoops weren't greedy, as they want to win
both. Look for HALF of the scoreboard to take a beating on
Saturday. Sooners by 21.

UCLA at USC
It's a good thing that THIS contest is a home game for the "Men of
Troy". That guarantees that they only have to make one trip to the
Rose Bowl this year. <g> Seriously, the finest minds in USC's
schools of advanced mathematics, statistical analysis and behavioral
science are studying the Byzantine ciphering that IS the BCS
formula, in an attempt to discern the Trojans fall from grace.
Through apparently no fault of their own, SC now finds themselves
looking up at the defending national champions from Ohio State, and
may be shut out of a trip to the big show in New Orleans. The fault
for this actually lies on the opposing sideline(s). Ohio State's
last two games were/are against Purdue and Michigan. USC plays
Arizona and UCLA. Pete Carroll and company have to depend on Lloyd
Carr and the Michigan Wolverines, if they're to have a chance at the
ADT Trophy. The simple fact is that the Trojans cannot possibly
beat the Wildcats and Bruins badly enough to supplant the Buckeyes
in the Sugar Bowl. But, that won't stop the "Men" from trying to
make up ground via the rout route. SC by 31.

Alabama at Auburn
The Auburn Tigers are a power football team. They love to smack an
opponent in the mouth, giving them the old "one-two". The problem
has been switching from "one" to "two". Auburn wants to run the
football. BUT, if they're unable to do so, Jason Campbell and
company have had no success in going airborne. So, the ability of
an opponent to shut down "one" is the determining factor of win
versus lose for the Tommy Tuberville's Tigers. Alabama's team isn't
much good this year. But, they do play with heart and emotion. And
more than anything else, they have shown an ability to stop the
run. Knowing that Auburn's pitiful passing could allow the Tide to
get away with putting all 11 defenders in the box makes me willing
to stick my neck out on this one. Even in Auburn, the Tigers have
shown that when they can't run, they can't win. In an upset,
Alabama by 2.

Ohio State at Michigan
Ohio State keeps winning the close games. They do it with solid
defense and a large helping of what appears to be luck. Is it
really possible that God could be a Buckeye? Even after Woody
Hayes? Well, God had better be wearing scarlet and gray Saturday
because this week finds OSU lining up against a team that they just
can't beat. Michigan has way more offense, and THEIR defense will
stymie the pitiful Buckeye offense. And, teams just can't continue
winning on luck alone, right? Doesn't this sound a lot like the
things being said before last year's Fiesta Bowl? I thought so.
Ohio State, in an upset, by 2.

LSU at Mississippi
There have been two extremely lucky football teams in the top twenty
five of the BCS. I've already addressed the Ohio State Buckeyes
(above). The other would have to be the blessed Mississippi
Rebels. How they've remained unbeaten in the SEC is beyond
comprehension. Everyone keeps talking about how Ole Miss "beat"
Auburn two weeks ago. Certainly, you've all heard the term "by the
grace of God". I'd call having a college wide receiver drop a pass
that 8 year old pee-wees catch 75% of the time as "luck". I'm sure
the Rebel faithful disagree. There's nothing to say that good
fortune can't save Mississippi one more time Saturday in Oxford.
But I just think it's unlikely. God CAN be in two places at once,
but I believe he'll have his hands full helping Ohio State beat
Michigan. LSU by 7.