= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2003 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/11/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 268
GAMES CORRECT 201
PCT CORRECT 75.0%
=============================================================
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Air Force vs Colorado State
Pilots usually wear crash helmets for protection, and on Thursday
night, the USAFA boys had best have on their top-level safety gear.
Sonny Lubick's sheep have recently found themselves a forest of
large whippin' sticks, and they've been putting the wood to Fort
Collins visitors. Ready or not, I think the Falcons may be in for
some more of what BYU received last Thursday night, courtesy of
Colorado State. Rams by 10.

New Mexico State vs Louisiana-Lafayette
I've already made a point this year about how the ESPN abbreviation
for Louisiana-Lafayette is "UL-LAF", as in "you'll laugh". The
Cajuns' opponent on Thursday is another club capable of bringing a
chuckle to fans of quality football. And although I don't believe
this epic is being televised, it probably should.....it's
undoubtably funnier than anything on network TV these days. Look
for the NMSU Aggies to have the last laugh Thursday down on the
bayou. State by 3.

Clemson vs NC State
This ESPN clash features a battle among various relatives, former
employees and/or disciples of Bobby Bowden. NC State boss Chuck
Amato drove FSU linebackers to great glory before becoming the head
man in Raleigh. And, Tommy Bowden certainly drove dear old daddy
crazy for years before becoming gainfully employed as a head
football coach. As for what's at stake Thursday, both the Wolfpack
and Tigers are jockeying for a better position in the 2003 ACC
scheme of things. And in Tommy's case, he might just be jockeying
for another job offer after this season. I see a close game, but
you'll be surprised to learn that the outcome might have Tommy B
rethinking an immediate resume upgrade. In an upset, Clemson wins
on (the)Tobacco Road, call it by 4. Want to start off the week with
a score? Let's say 28-24.

Friday, October 17, 2003
Tulane vs Louisville
Conference USA again takes center stage nationally on Friday night,
as ESPN brings Tulane versus Louisville into our homes. The Green
Wave from the gulf crashes into the riverfront home of the Kentucky
Derby. This combination of birds and surf suddenly reminded me of
the old "Trashmen" hit song, "Surfin' Bird". Remember the only
words of that song?? "The Bird is the Word". And on THIS Friday
night, the birds are indeed going to be the word. Avoiding any
conference bird baths, look for L'ullville to "hang" enough points
on Two-Lane to surf away with a 7 point win.

Saturday, October 18, 2003
Pittsburgh vs Rutgers
The Panthers of Pittsburgh are that very rare football entity,
namely they are a team that is semi-successful while being
essentially a one man team. Other than super receiver Larry
Fitzgerald, the cats don't have much. Want proof? Last weekend,
they allowed Notre Dame to run all over them AT HOME. Coming into
the game, the Fainting Irish were ranked something like 100th in
NCAA rushing. This weekend's Big East opponent, the Scarlet Knights
of Rutgers, definitely appear to be the sort of team capable of
losing to one-man teams. However, Rutger's failure to fall below
85th in any NCAA rankings could spell doom for the Pennsylvania
Alleys. In short, Rutgers just might not be bad enough for
Pittsburgh to beat them. In an upset, call this one Knights by 3.

Boston College vs Syracuse
The BC athletic department played coy all last weekend, as rumors of
an ACC jump swirled around Chestnut Hill. And, while I'm sure that
no university decision HAD been made as to what to do with an
invitation, let us note that BC only took 4 hours of their allotted
thirty day decision period to bolt the Big East. It should only
take BC about the same amount of time to claim one last conference
win at the hands of the SU Orangemen. Eagles by 12.

East Carolina vs Army
This week, after an 0-6 start, the US Military Academy fired their
head football coach. Now, in the civilian world, this would mean a
pink slip and the cessation of remuneration. Hopefully, the
military version of a firing doesn't include a final cigarette and a
blindfold. Speaking of a blindfold, that may be the only way that
fans at West Point could have enjoyed any of this year's football
games. Conventional wisdom would indicate that things won't be any
better on Saturday as the ECU Pirates sail into town. But then
again, conventional wisdom would never have suggested that college
football was important enough at Army to dismiss a coach mid-
season. Maybe the new guy can stem the Cadets' retreat, at least
for his first day on the job. In an upset, Army by 2. BTW, isn't
this the first year of duty for Pirate boss John Thompson? Get out
the blindfolds and cigarettes.

Marshall vs Buffalo
This weekend will find MAC power Marshall on the trail up in
Buffalo, New York. And, they may be surprised to find some locals
trying to join up with their "thundering" herd. However, this West
Virginia Herd is an exclusive group of giants, and they're not
looking to add any subpar DNA to their present gene pool. So, look
for Buffalo to become victims on this stampede, rather than members
of it. Marshall by 24.

Florida State vs Virginia
If you'd asked FSU fans back in August what worried them the most
about this weekend's trip to Virginia, there would have been two
main issues....WEATHER and DISTRACTION. First, the `Nole faithful
ALWAYS fear playing above 30 degrees north anytime after September
the 1st. To many in Tallahassee, ANYWHERE "up there" might as well
be the North Pole. And while I'll confess that cold weather could
be expected on Saturday, it'll be hard to imagine a meteorological
malevolence any worse than last weekend at Doak Campbell. As for
the distraction thing, folks figured that AFTER a big win over
Miami, FSU might overlook a good Virginia team on the road. Let's
just say that things may have changed a bit. As for last weekend,
maybe it's all not THAT bad. FSU retained a solid top-ten
ranking. And also....just between us....it's OK with me if Miami
goes to the Sugar Bowl this year. I'd like to spend New Year's with
someone other than Oklahoma, if you catch my drift. As for this
weekend, look for the Seminoles to prevail in this battle of
recently defeated and disappointed clubs. FSU by 10.

Utah vs UNLV
I've always been curious about UNLV's "Running Rebels" nickname.
Where are they running? Why are they running? For this weekend,
the most appropriate interrogative would be who are they running
from? A mob of angry and talented Utah Utes, that's who. Utah by 6.

California vs UCLA
I may not be able to remember coach Karl Donnan's name....oops, I
meant Coach Karl What's-his-name...but, I DO remember what happened
the last time the Cal Bears hooked up with Pac Ten brethren from the
city of angels. However, I also remember THAT surprise happened up
in the bay area. Anyone worth his salt would realize that Southern
Cal is a stronger team than UCLA, and that IF Cal can beat USC, they
should be able to bring down the Bruins. But, predicting football
games has nothing to do with the value of salt, so let me suggest
that UCLA will surprise many by winning this weekend's battle of the
bears in Pasadena. Bruins by 3.

Washington State vs Stanford
In this year's Pac Ten race, the Wazzoo Cougars have been about the
only thing constant among the chaos. So, why do I have such an
uncomfortable niggling doubt as to things staying on course Saturday
in Palo Alto? In a state that elects the Terminator as their next
governor, anything truly CAN happen, you know. All doubts aside, I
suppose I need to pick Washington State to win on Saturday, since
I'm not actually insane enough to live in California. Cougars by 14.

BYU vs Wyoming
They say there's a quarterback controversy brewin' at BYU. And as
the Cougars' weekend hosts will tell you, there really ain't room
enough in the saddle for more than one Cowboy. So, the migrating
Mormons from Provo had best settle on one leader and follow him.
The good news is that for THIS trip, either one of their boys ought
to do just fine. BYU by 7.

Washington vs Oregon State
A trip to Corvallis may not exactly be a home game for the
Washington Huskies. But, the scenery of Oregon should still be
somewhat familiar to the boys from the north. There are the tall
timbers, the crisp clean air AND the rugged and rocky coastlines.
And speaking of familiar, if this game is a continuation of the
Huskies' recent pattern of play, they might want to keep on heading
south after the game, rather than risk a return to Seattle and their
disappointed fans. Every dog does have its day, but I don't believe
that this gameday will belong to the Huskies any more than the last
couple of Saturdays have. OSU by 7.

Texas A&M vs Nebraska
Both the Aggies and Cornhuskers must have slipped into an alternate
universe last weekend. In Nebraska fashion, A&M routed an actual
division-1 opponent by 63 points. And, in mockery of recent Aggie
activity, the Huskers were routed by a team they'd beaten some
twenty times in a row. Do you suppose there was some sort of mix-up
in the terrestrial transportation scheme? Texas A&M and Nebraska
switching teams? Oh well, they'll get it all straight on
Saturday. Revisiting the universe of normalcy, look for the
hometown blackshirts to re-establish themselves in Lincoln.
Cornhuskers by 14, let's call it 35-21.

Michigan State vs Minnesota
They weren't lined up against Jeff SMOKER last weekend, but that
didn't keep the Golden Gophers from getting burned up during a
fourth quarter collapse. This Saturday offers another hometown
chance to get things right in the Big Ten, but I'd not expect any
help or sympathy from visiting Michigan State. The Spartans are
just recovering from a couple of seasons of collapse, and they're
not ready to revisit the issue. Completing the state of Michigan's
old "one-two" punch, I see State knocking out Minnesota, call it by
12, maybe something like 28-16.

Colorado vs Kansas State
Wildcat fans are having to do a rapid 180 degree turn, with regard
to the Colorado Buffaloes. Last weekend, CU brought glee to the
hearts of the downtrodden K-Staters with their stirring overtime
defeat of hated Kansas. This weekend, they have to stop cheering
long enough to make sure it doesn't happen to them, too. Has it
really only been about four weeks since people were whispering BCS
and New Orleans as a possibility for Kansas State? It's unnerving
what three quick losses can do to a program. I think that loss
number four can be avoided, at least for this weekend, in the
friendly confines of Manhattan. Wildcats by 3.

Baylor vs Kansas
Football has certainly been a life and death matter at Baylor this
year. Last weekend saw a little of both, as the Bears breathed life
into the Texas A&M program while getting themselves killed in
College Station. Turning to death of a more sudden nature, Mike
Mangione's Kansas Jayhawks found themselves unable to corral
Colorado in the allotted sixty minutes of football, which led to an
unpleasant overtime loss. So, Saturday finds these two Big XII
clubs hoping to rebound against one another. Look for Big Mike's
birds to edge away from whatever is left (after the A&M debacle) of
Baylor in this game. Winning at home in Lawrence, call it KU by a
few....let's say 7.

Illinois vs Michigan
The Wolverines only played one quarter of football last Friday night
up in Minneapolis, but it was just enough to seize a much-needed
conference win. This Saturday in Ann Arbor, it may not take more
than a couple of decent drives to rack up two in a row. Home sweet
home in the Big House, Michigan by 18.

Purdue vs Wisconsin
While the win over Ohio State last Saturday has been greatly
celebrated in Madison, we must put Wisconsin's win in perspective.
The truth is that the Buckeyes had been walking at the edge of the
cliff for weeks upon end. Barry's Badgers just became the first
club to sack up and shove. This weekend's visitor to Camp Randall
hasn't been playing quite the game of chicken with defeat as had the
Buckeyes. If Wisconsin is to win THIS game, they're going to have
to work much harder. Purdue's players probably won't try to choke
any of the Badger players, but that doesn't mean that the end result
won't seem like rose-laden fingers around UW's throats. Shutting
down the wind in the Badgers' Rose Bowl sails, look for the
Boilermakers to shovel enough coal to chug up another big conference
win. Purdue by 9, call it 23-14.

Texas vs Iowa State
I hope that Mack Brown had the good sense to bring along a few
traumatic stress specialists for this Saturday's trip to Ames. Even
though mean, old Oklahoma is far, far away, the mere sight of any
team wearing red uniforms is bound to send the Longhorns scrambling
for a bomb shelter. I believe that Texas is a beaten football team,
literally and figuratively. However, I also believe enough steers
escaped the Stoopes slaughterhouse last weekend to effect a modest
victory in this game. Longhorns by 10.

Toledo vs Central Michigan
Saturday finds the Toledo Rockets hooking up with yet another tribe
of MAC native Americans. Indian nations haven't faced this much
hardship at the hands of one tormentor since smallpox sailed from
Europe over 400 years ago. Celebrating this Saturday with the same
enthusiasm reserved for Columbus Day, look for the Chippewas to go
down in a hurry, even at home. Toledo by 21.

USC vs Notre Dame
After putzing around for much of the season trying to run a "west
coast offense", the Fighting Irish returned to what has historically
been their forte, running the football. And while that did result
in a win at Pittsburgh, this weekend's visit from USC brings another
roadblock for the Willingham rebuilding project. In the past,
Southern Cal literally WROTE the book on power football, earning the
nickname "tailback U". In 2003, the Trojan defense has authored a
sequel, based on stopping the run. Putting the Domers back in the
starting blocks on Saturday, I see a triumph for the visitors. Call
this one SC by 17, maybe something like 30-13.

Iowa vs Ohio State
Last weekend marked the first time all year that Ohio State had
dared to venture away from the Horseshoe. And the result?? The
first Buckeye loss in quite a while! So, it appears that Jim
Tressel and company have decided to remain safely near Columbus for
this Saturday's contest against Iowa's Hawkeyes. Skipping the road
trip may save wear and tear on the team bus tires, but the Hawks
aren't exactly the same type of conference retreads some of the
earlier OSU home games have featured. Last weekend ended one streak
for Ohio State, and this weekend may very well continue another
one. Iowa by 4, call it 19-15.

LSU vs South Carolina
Did you see Nick Saban's face on TV last weekend, as his Bengals
committed bonehead play after bonehead play in the upset loss to
Florida? My mom used to tell me that my face would "freeze that
way" when I made an ugly look. Speaking of faces, nobody has the
look of USC boss Lou Holtz. Weasel Lou has one of those pusses
that can look happy, frustrated, confused or evil...all at the same
time. You never know what he's up to, and that's the real danger
for LSU on this trip to Columbia. The evil upset genie keeps
whispering in my ear, but I've just got to resist the temptation to
call this one for South Carolina. Sometimes, losing because of Lou
is better than trusting him and his team. LSU in a squeaker, call
it Tigers by 5.

Florida vs Arkansas
Last weekend in Baton Rouge proved to be a pleasant surprise for Ron
Zook and his Florida Gators. Given up for lost on the bayou, UF
played their best game of the year, knocking LSU from the ranks of
the unbeaten. Many people believe that the recent problems that the
Gators have faced are minimized when the team gets away from the
Gainesville cauldron. Kind of a "freedom on the road" type of
thing. It's hoped that more of the same awaits Zook and company up
in Fayetteville. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen happy again
for Florida...but it would be better if they could get Houston
Nutt's pigs out of town before they arrive on Saturday. Arkansas
by 3, call it 20-17.

Arizona State vs North Carolina
They often say that you can search the world over for happiness, and
it can be found in your own backyard. Well, that's not necessarily
the case for the Sun Devils of ASU. In order to assure themselves
of yet another win, it has been deemed necessary to travel some 2000
miles to collect a non-conference "W". Sure, it's expensive, but it
beats losing. Sun Devils by 12.

Temple vs Miami
After "Separation Saturday's" win at Florida State, the `Canes
should have little to fear from Big East foe Temple on this
weekend. Even with UM's anticipated let-down, the Owls offer little
to challenge Miami's supremacy in the Orange Bowl. Temple, unlike
the Seminoles, will probably have a game plan when they arrive to
fence with Miami. But I still think that Larry Coker and company
will make the necessary adjustments. Miami by 35.

Georgia vs Vanderbilt
If the Commodores couldn't get within 10 points of Navy last
weekend, you know they're sunk with Georgia dog-paddling into town.
Richt's pooches will certainly suffer some degree of relaxation
following their big win in Knoxville last Saturday, and we can
expect less than a show-dog effort in this game. But, I still
believe the Dawgs will bury their bones in Vandy's backyard (...or
back-something...) pretty easily on Saturday. Georgia by 30.

Alabama vs Mississippi
For all of the Manning legend in Mississippi, ARCHIE Manning never
managed to defeat Alabama. Look for his boy Eli to again do dad one
better Saturday at home in Mississippi. Due to injuries, Alabama
has turned pretty much into a one-trick pony. Assuming David
Cutcliffe is smart enough to concentrate his entire defensive scheme
on stopping Shaud Williams, I figure the Rebel offense can do the
rest. Manning and Ole Miss stay unbeaten in the SEC, let's call it
by 5.

Mississippi State vs Auburn
OK, last weekend I challenged Tommy Tuberville and his Tigers
to "prove" me wrong. I'd said that Auburn had not yet convinced me
of their return to glory. Now, I'll admit that I would've picked
the War Eagles in this game, no matter what. But now, I feel
confident enough to go double digits. Auburn by 20.

Missouri vs Oklahoma
The Mizzou Tigers did something last weekend that hasn't happened in
years. After over two decades of frustration in playing Nebraska,
the Tigers routed the Cornhuskers in Columbia. Why haven't I said
anything about this week's game against mighty Oklahoma, another
team that's made a habit of beating Mizzou? I kind of hated to
spoil Missouri' magic moment. You all saw what happened in Dallas
last weekend. Look for more of the same this Saturday in Norman,
but perhaps on a bit less tragic scale. OU by 23.

Texas Tech vs Oklahoma State
Both the Cowboys and Red Raiders have gotten the offenses cranked up
bigtime this year. This could be a very entertaining contest,
unless of course you're a defensive coordinator. No doubt in my
mind that this game will come down to which team can play defense,
which makes the pick easy. Okie State by 13.