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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2003 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 10/4/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 232
GAMES CORRECT 176
PCT CORRECT 75.9%
=============================================================
========================== Bulletin =========================
The following Thursday and Friday picks have previously been
published. They are included here as a means to keep the
issue "complete".
=============================================================
Thursday, October 9, 2003
Colorado State vs BYU
OK, sure....I've been struggling this year. Things just don't seem
to be going Prophet's way. But, have any of you noticed or
appreciated the (ever so slight) improvement in the overall timbre of
my humor. I've called fewer people Nazis, and have only once truly
behaved in a homophobic manner. I haven't even played the race
card. However, it took all my new-found strength to not resort to
some sort of Mormon farmhands and barnyard animals humor for this
pick. It would have been funny, but I figured it'd just be another
sheep shot. So, playing this one straight and smut-free, look for
CSU to RAMrod the homeboys in Provo. And, "ewe" heard it here
first. Colorado State by 7.

Kentucky vs South Carolina
UK QB Jared Lorenzen actually has a lot to be thankful for. Even
though his body type doesn't suggest the position, he's been allowed
to play and prosper as the Wildcats' field general. It's probably a
good thing that he didn't sign at South Carolina, because skinny Lou
Holtz would never have had so much compassion for the calorie-
challenged lad. Jared would have found himself on a great big
hamster treadmill about 25 hours a day until he got below 250. THIS
Thursday night may actually seem like some sort of weight reduction
plan instigated by the aerobic USC defense, but it's got nothing to
do with the QB's girth. South Carolina is just looking to fatten up
their conference record with some Columbia buffet home cookin'.
Gamecocks by 8.

Friday, October 10, 2003
TCU vs South Florida
The TCU Horny Toads have not traveled well in 2003. It's not that
they've actually been losing on the road, it's just that they've
redefined "mediocre win" in shades of Fort Worth purple. Speaking of
colorful settings, Tampa is not the sort of place that anyone should
be bringing less than an A minus effort in 2003. The USF Bulls may
just present the sort of bump on TCU's conference road that will
require a post-season destinational detour. South Florida by 3.

Michigan vs Minnesota
The word that most Wolverine supporters would have to apply to last
weekend's half two collapse in Iowa City would be "embarrassing".
And, even though this contest is also far away from Ann Arbor, I
don't see Michigan embarrassing themselves again. It's not that I
don't think the maize and blue have a few more stinker performances
to offer in 2003. It's just that we probably won't see two in a
row...especially in Minneapolis on Friday night. Michigan by 2.
Thursday, October 9, 2003

Saturday, October 11, 2003
Syracuse vs Virginia Tech
Tech fans may prefer the Hokie moniker to their previous designation
as "Gobblers". But, that's not going to keep Paul Pasqualone and
company from crying fowl when they arrive in the Blacksburg turkey
yard. Look for the local Hokies to beat the living cranberry sauce
out of Syracuse on Saturday. Tech by 14.

Boston College vs Temple
Rumor has it that the BC Eagles are on the fast track to 2004 ACC
membership. That development is something that should please most of
the Philadelphia-area college football fans this weekend. Look for
the Temple Owls to say good riddance to Boston College as they absorb
one last conference clubbing at the Eagles' hands. (And, for all you
jackasses who'll write to tell me that Eagles have talons and claws,
and not hands.....it's JUST a figure of speech. :) BC by 12.

Kent State vs Marshall
The Thundering Herd's Mid-America Conference domination isn't as
complete as it once was. But, Kent State has contributed little to
Marshall's MAC decline. This weekend, I believe the Herd will flush
the Flashes in the usual flashy manner. Marshall by 16.

Notre Dame vs Pittsburgh
Tyrone Willingham may not be a genius, but he IS a good coach. He's
the sort of fellow who knows his teams' strengths and limitations.
And when you're the head man at Notre Dame, you know that you can
always count on one or two miracles per year. Fan discontent and
displeasure is on the rise around the Golden Dome, but I still don't
see Ty calling in one of his papal trump cards for this road
encounter in Pittsburgh. The Irish always save their most miraculous
surprises for highly rated visitors TO South Bend. So, off in the
non-holy empire of western Pennsylvania, I see more "same-old same-
old" for the Irish. Pitt by 9.

Duke vs Maryland
Rumor has it that Duke was one of the ACC conference schools that did
NOT support the idea of taking Notre Dame into the conference on
a "limited basis". But, the reason that the Irish and the ACC just
didn't hook up is actually more complex. Duke was actually insisting
that any invitation TO Notre Dame also include an excommunication
(from the ACC) of Florida State, Maryland and NC State, in football
only (of course). :) Then again, maybe the Terp basketball program
should go, too. Maryland by 21.

Nevada vs Washington
Well, AS poorly as the Prophet did last week, he DID nail the UCLA
upset of Washington. Huskie (husky??) fans have to be disappointed
in the manner that their team has gone to the dogs, so to speak.
This weekend should provide some comic relief, however, with the
Nevada Wolfpack playing rawhide toy to Washington's playful puppy.
Nevada's not a whole lot better than that high school team that ex-UW
coach Neuheisel is volunteer coaching. Speaking of Rick, something
tells me that some folks around Seattle may be beginning to rethink
their prohibition on coaches' participation in harmless office
pools. Washington by 17.

San Diego State vs Utah
Salt Lake City will, on Saturday, play host to a contest between two
tribes of Native North Americans. And while SDSU's namesake Aztecs
were famous for their human sacrifice rituals, I believe it'll be the
hometown Utes running the bloodletting concession at this game.
Tossing State from the top of the SLC temple, call this one Utah by
14.

Stanford vs USC
One of the funniest things former Trojan coach John McKay ever did
was to call Stanford "The Radcliffe of the West". In one little
insulting sentence, Johnny Mac labeled Stanford as both snotty and
feminine. Well, Tampa John is long dead, but his laughs live on.
And after what happened the last time SC hooked up with anyone or
anything from the bay area, I don't believe present head honcho Pete
Carroll will crack a smile until this game is well in hand....which
it should be by the early second half. Trojans by 21.

Penn State vs Purdue
I don't know if Penn State has any real chances to beat Joe Tiller's
Boilermakers this Saturday in West Lafayette. But, I'll bet that Joe
PATERNO could use a boilermaker or two before and after the game. Is
this the week that there's a tie at the top of division-1's all-time
coaching victories list? Look for Penn State to do THEIR part to
knot things up. Purdue by 11.

Michigan State vs Illinois
From a pun standpoint, it's really too easy to say that Michigan
State QB Jeff Smoker has been on fire in recent weeks. However, I do
have the burning feeling that the Spartans are going to torch the
Illini's tee-pee pretty quickly this Saturday. Striking my match for
Smoker and company, call this one State by 15.

Northern Illinois vs Central Michigan
NIU almost fell victim to an upset last weekend, which would have put
an end to their BCS nose-thumbing plans. So on this visit to
Chippewa country in Central Michigan, look for the Huskies to be the
ones doing a war dance from the opening whistle. Biting back a week
after they almost got bitten, NIU wins big. Dogs by 20.

Kansas vs Colorado
New Jayhawk boss Mike Mangione is already beginning to turn things
around in Lawrence. An earlier-season victory over the Missouri
Tigers was trumpeted throughout the Big XII as a statement being made
by KU. Now, any statement that is made by beating Mizzou is hardly a
shout, but there's no denying that Kansas is on the rebound. On the
OTHER side of "rebound", we find the critically ill Colorado
Buffaloes. Certainly, injuries have played a major role in the
Buffs' demise. But, there's something else that seems to be missing
from the black and gold. We may not even get an answer this year,
either. It's beginning to remind me of the old joke about the
doctor telling a patient that his best option might be an autopsy.
Maybe the Boulder medical examiner should be on-call for Saturday
night. Kansas by 12.

Nebraska vs Missouri
A lot of Cornhusker fans are beginning to believe that Big Red might
really be "back". There's no denying that the blackshirt defense of
years past has resurfaced in Lincoln. The Tigers of Missouri may not
have AS storied a football past, but they've also had success in
bygone years. Folks in Columbia also believe that they are "back",
too. Unfortunately on Saturday, the Tigers are not going to be
as "back" as is Nebraska. Look for the Huskers to jerk a knot in the
Tigers' tails on what is perhaps the road to the Big XII title
game. Nebraska by 14.

Eastern Michigan vs Toledo
The Toledo Rockets have lifted into a high MAC orbit for much of this
year. The real question as to their future will be their "space
race" with Northern Illinois. As for this Saturday, the only thing
launched will be the Hurons of Eastern Michigan. Look for the Toledo
team and crowd to enjoy a countdown to an easy home victory.
Rockets by 24.

Georgia Tech vs Wake Forest
OK, OK... I'll get off Reggie Ball's case. I've squeezed enough
mileage out of his "we're not going to lose again" comment of several
weeks ago. It was funny, it was stupid..and we all had a good laugh
at his expense. There hasn't been as much general laughter in
Winston-Salem in recent weeks, as the Demon Deacs have made a habit
of coming close, but not close enough. Maybe THEY need someone to
brashly step forward, as did Tech's young QB. Then again, maybe
this "someone" will need to wait until next week to make any "Wake
has lost for the last time" statements. Saturday won't be a good
starting point for such a seasonal redirection. Georgia Tech by 3.

Virginia vs Clemson
As we all suspect, 2003 is probably going to be the end of the
Bowden "era" in Clemson. Tommy's career at CU started out with a
bang, but it's softly slipping away in muted median stripes. Al Groh
and his Virginia Cavaliers, OTOH, appear seriously poised to take the
next step, moving into the hierarchy of what is about to become one
of America's better football conferences. Good times are truly ahead
in Charlottesville. However, even IF he's done after this year, I'm
not sure that Tommy Bowden's good times in Clemson are completely
over. In fact, I have a whiff of some fun coming his way THIS very
Saturday up in South Carolina. I do not believe UVA is seriously
focused on Clemson, and that can be very dangerous. You should never
turn your back on a Tiger, even one with very few teeth. In an
upset, Clemson by 2.

Connecticut vs NC State
The Connecticut Huskies are ambling into Raleigh to hook up with
their distant canine relatives, the NC State Wolfpack. And although
both teams may be product of similar genetic material, Chuck Amato's
DNA is of a wilder variety. Look for the Connecticut Yankees to have
a rough go of it in King Chuck's Court. NC State by 10.

Arkansas State vs Mississippi
The Ole Miss Rebels are a tough team to figure. Other than Eli
Manning's ability to fling the football, there is no gridiron
constant in Oxford. David Cutcliffe's Rebs are just good enough to
beat the Florida Gators two years in a row. But then again, they're
just bad enough to lose to Memphis, surrendering a double-digit
second half lead. The question on Saturday is whether Ole Miss is
bad enough to lose to lightly-regarded (with good reason) Arkansas
State. The possibility of such an atrocity is more real than the
preppies at Vaught-Hemingway would care to admit. But, I still think
Ole Miss will manage to slip by the little Indians from Arky State.
Rebels by 18.

Navy vs Vanderbilt
One of the bigger surprises in 2003 college football has to involve
the Navy Midshipmen. The Middies have stormed into the lead for the
coveted "Commander in Chief" trophy. And right now, I don't see
anything or anyone who is going to seriously stand in their way.
However on Saturday in Nashville, I don't see the Commodores of
Vanderbilt handing out any trophies to the visitors from Annapolis.
Vandy won't likely dish out any decisive beatings either, but I do
believe the home guys will paddle by any naval blockades.
Vanderbilt by 2.

Army vs Louisville
Louisville's Cardinals had an unsuccessful migration down to the
Tampa area last weekend, and ended up getting their feathers ruffled
in a loss to South Florida. Not to be outdone in birdish behavior,
the Army Cadets have been laying an egg throughout the season. I
don't see Louisville having any difficulty securing a win in their
home nest this Saturday, even IF the Army program is "for the
birds". Cardinals by 21.

Southern Mississippi vs Alabama
Part of Alabama's problem in last weekend's loss to Georgia was the
injury to starting QB Brodie Croyle. Due to a separated shoulder
suffered late in the OT loss to Arkansas, Tide Coach Mike Shula had
indicated that Croyle wouldn't start, but would be available "if
needed". WELL...Shula apparently decided that he "needed" Croyle at
the point Alabama fell behind by four touchdowns. And, facing the
sort of all-out blitz that being behind by 27 points was JUST what
the ailing Croyle "needed", and he was more severely injured. The
two plays that Croyle survived before again being hurt didn't
markedly affect the outcome of the game. Thanks to Shula's decision
to "need" Croyle last weekend, Brodie now "needs" a few more weeks
rest before he can play again. And speaking of "need", Alabama
really does "need" a schedule break. The Eagles of Southern
Mississippi might provide the relief that the Tide record really
needs. USM has "needs" of their own, also at the QB position. I
truly believe that it'll be the Crimson Tide's "needs" that are met
on Saturday afternoon in Tuscaloosa. Getting a badly needed win,
call this one Alabama by 7.

Baylor vs Texas A&M
Things have been looking up for the Baylor Bear athletic program.
First of all, nobody associated with any of their sport squads has
died in the last few weeks. And even better, the Bears have been
winning football games. Winning! Sadly, things are about to grind
to a halt in College Station on Saturday. Look for the Aggies to
kill off Baylor's recent win streak in front of the Kyle Field
faithful. Aggies by 7.

Kansas State vs Oklahoma State
KSU QB Ell Roberson returned to the Wildcat lineup last Saturday.
And even though K-State failed to scratch out a win in Austin, I
believe that they've regained confidence in their team and season. A
lot of people have been saying mighty fine things about State's
weekend road opponent, the Oklahoma State Cowboys. After an early
season loss to Nebraska, the `Pokes have roped win after win.
Certainly Okie State has become a force with which one must reckon in
the talented Big XII. That having been said, I think this game is
coming down to perception and perhaps misinformation. The Cowboys,
all of their success aside, are still not riding in as big of a rodeo
as is being represented. And the rumors of Kansas State's ultimate
demise may be a bit exaggerated. Add it all up, and I find Snyder's
Wildcats back in the conference saddle come Saturday in Stillwater.
Kansas State by 3.

Oregon vs Arizona State
This game truly rates as a Pac Ten toss-up. And speaking of toss,
I'd bet that fans of both squads are about ready to toss it in for
2003. Both the Sun Devils and Ducks truly felt that they'd compete
for the conference crown, and might even make some BCS noise
nationally. But here it is mid-October, and they're fighting it out
to see who remains in the hunt for a semi-respectable bowl
appearance. Both clubs have wilted in the heat of battle in recent
weeks, although Oregon's collapse up in Salt Lake City was truly
depressing. Considering that last Saturday's loss in Utah probably
parboiled Oregon's season, it's easy to imagine the desert heat of
Tempe adding a crispy brown to the finished dish. Pressed duck,
anyone? Arizona State by 3.

UCLA vs Arizona
Trouble is a-brewin', or should I say Bruin, as UCLA comes into town
riding a one game Pac Ten winning streak. Now, if this were last
year, former Bear boss Bob Toledo would be crowing about the UCLAns
expected position in a BCS bowl, based on last week's win. But, I
think that new coach Karl What's-his-name has a better head on his
shoulders. He's smart enough to not be looking for a place to keep
the Sears Trophy just yet. As for Aridzona, they'd kill for a two-
game conference winning streak. Perspective, folks. UCLA by 6.

Iowa State vs Texas Tech
This game culminates a fortnight of extremes for the Iowa State
Cyclones. Last weekend, they faced possibly the strongest defense
in America, as they hosted the OU Sooners. This Saturday, they
travel to Lubbock to face an offensive onslaught of biblical
proportions. When you're an average (at best) team, the last thing
you want to face, especially on the road, is anyone who is the best
at something. Look for the Red Raiders to ring up another of those
500 passing yard afternoons. The thing that keeps it close is that
the TT "D" gives up points almost as fast as the offense scores
them. Iowa State needs to find an opponent that's mediocre in all
facets of the game, don't you think? Texas Tech by 11.

Ohio State vs Wisconsin
Barry Alvarez's Badgers have already had their shamefully
embarrassing moment in 2003, a home loss to the UNLV Running Rebels.
However, that does not guarantee any success in Madison on Saturday
against the defending national champs. The Buckeyes are finally
getting Craig Krenzel, their starting QB, back on the field for their
first road action of the year. So, look for Wisconsin to get another
dose of that same old "close but no cigars" that OSU has been handing
out to their last twenty or so opponents. Ohio State wins a tight
one, with or without any cigars involved. Buckeyes by 7.

Florida vs LSU
Look for Gator Coach Zook to be the second man who has a short name
starting with "R" to get mauled by a Tiger in the last two weeks.
Ronnie Z may not have the entire Sigfried and Roy magic show down
pat, but something tells me that he's about to perfect the
disappearing act in Gainesville. Abra-cadabra.... LSU by 12.

Auburn vs Arkansas
I don't know what magic spell that Tommy Tuberville cast on his
Tigers last weekend, but they were an entirely different team than I
saw earlier in the year. Maybe the Auburn faithful are right, and
maybe the Tigers ARE for real. Maybe they're finally about to live
up to the hype. Then again, maybe last Saturday WAS just magic. You
know how it is when you go to a really good magic show, right?
What's the first thing you say to the magician after he pulls a
rabbit out of his hat? "Do it again!" Convince me, Tommy. Arkansas
by 1.

Georgia vs Tennessee
Georgia and Tennessee are two SEC East powers who've had their
seasons fouled by cases of "cat scratch fever". The Bulldogs got
their licking at the hands of LSU's Tigers, while Tennessee was
clawed last weekend by the Auburn Tigers. Both sets of SEC-West cats
clearly exposed the weaknesses of the Bulldogs and Volunteers for all
to see. Among the most interested observers in both cases would have
to be Vol Coach Phil Fulmer and Bulldog Boss Mark Richt. Now, I'm
not saying that Phil can't see what LSU and Auburn showed to
everyone, but compared to Mark Richt, he's Helen Keller. Mark is as
good as anyone at recognizing and exploiting exposed weakness,
especially in a defense. As rare as it is, I see Tennessee losing a
second consecutive SEC contest Saturday in Knoxville. Doesn't that
win in Gainesville seem like years ago? Georgia by 3.

Oklahoma vs Texas
Before anyone accuses me of being anti-Texas, I want to protest. I
used to live in the Lone Star state, and I love(d) the Texas
Longhorns. They were my first favorite college football team. I
still consider their victories over Arkansas and Notre Dame back in
the 1969-1970 season to be a fond memory. I still remember James
Street, a GREAT wishbone quarterback. (You gotta admire a guy who
wants to be called "James" instead of Jim or Jimmy...kind of like the
difference between James Dean and Jimmy Dean) Anytime I'm talking
Texas, I usually take a trip down memory lane. But when it comes to
memories, this year's Texas squad specializes in the short variety.
They're allowing one little last-minute HOME victory over Kansas
State essentially erase all past Mack Brown big-game sins. The
Arkansas loss earlier this year is treated as if it happened years
ago. Then again, maybe that's a good thing, a sort of mental defense
mechanism. Perhaps later this year, Texas' upcoming win over Texas
A&M will be just the salve to soothe the pain of THIS Saturday's loss
to Oklahoma. Mack versus Bob and Mike Stoopes? C'mon guys, be
serious. OU by 7.

Miami vs Florida State
A lot of people are focusing on Miami's lack of a running game as
being the key to a Seminole victory on Saturday. But, how can you
say that UM doesn't have any running capabilities? Kellen Winslow
has been running his mouth all year. This is a huge game, and it
usually features a fair amount of smack talk in the week prior to
kickoff. This year, all the verbiage has been coming from Dade
County. It could be that Miami just IS supremely confident. Nothing
in Larry Coker's tenure as coach would really give them any reason to
doubt themselves against Florida State, a sad but regrettable fact.
But then again, maybe all of this talk is an effort by UM to convince
themselves that the past will continue. I can guarantee that most
Seminole fans feel a great deal of angst playing Miami for no other
reason than all that has gone on before. For FSU to win, they just
have to focus on the short side of the game. When presented with
opportunities, especially with a short field, Rix and company have to
score touchdowns, not field goals. FSU also has to slow down Miami's
short passing game. And most important of all, FSU's players need to
have short memories of past encounters with Miami. It will be the
only way to win a close contest, which may be the case on Saturday
considering the awful weather being forecast. If all of this comes
together, FSU could make reasonably short work of Miami and record a
win that we Seminole fans and grads will savor for a long, long
time. I'm calling this one as FSU by 7. But, here's one little
creepy caveat.....the closer the game gets, the better chance it will
be that hurricane season is extended in this series. Want a score?
How about 28-21, FSU?