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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2003 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON is
GAMES FORECAST 232
GAMES CORRECT 176
PCT CORRECT 75.9%
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============ Bulletin ==============
THE PROPHET HAS BEEN CAUGHT SLACKING

As many of you know, I spent a long weekend in Kennebunkport, Maine
a few days ago. Upon my return to Florida, we received a visit from
my in-laws. This has severely cut into my "Prophet Time". So, I'm
going to have to delay my picks for a couple more days. The
following are the games of Thursday and Friday night(s). Enjoy them
now, and I'll try to get the rest of the picks on the `net by
Thursday or Friday. Thanks!
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Thursday, October 9, 2003
Colorado State vs BYU
OK, sure....I've been struggling this year. Things just don't seem
to be going Prophet's way. But, have any of you noticed or
appreciated the (ever so slight) improvement in the overall timbre
of my humor. I've called fewer people Nazis, and have only once
truly behaved in a homophobic manner. I haven't even played the
race card. However, it took all my new-found strength to not resort
to some sort of Mormon farmhands and barnyard animals humor for this
pick. It would have been funny, but I figured it'd just be another
sheep shot. So, playing this one straight and smut-free, look for
CSU to RAMrod the homeboys in Provo. And, "ewe" heard it here
first. Colorado State by 7.

Kentucky vs South Carolina
UK QB Jared Lorenzin actually has a lot to be thankful for. Even
though his body type doesn't suggest the position, he's been allowed
to play and prosper as the Wildcats' field general. It's probably a
good thing that he didn't sign at South Carolina, because skinny Lou
Holtz would never have had so much compassion for the calorie-
challenged lad. Jared would have found himself on a great big
hamster treadmill about 25 hours a day until he got below 250. THIS
Thursday night may actually seem like some sort of weight reduction
plan instigated by the aerobic USC defense, but it's got nothing to
do with the QB's girth. South Carolina is just looking to fatten up
their conference record with some Columbia buffet home cookin'.
Gamecocks by 8.


Friday, October 10, 2003
TCU vs South Florida
The TCU Horny Toads have not traveled well in 2003. It's not that
they've been getting beat on the road, it's just that they've
redefined "mediocre win" in shades of Fort Worth purple. Speaking
of colorful settings, Tampa is not the sort of place that anyone
should be bringing less than an A minus effort in 2003. The USF
Bulls may just present the sort of bump on TCU's conference road
that will require a post-season destinational detour. South Florida
by 3.

Michigan vs Minnesota
The word that most Wolverine supporters would have to apply to last
weekend's half two collapse in Iowa City would be "embarrassing".
And, even though this contest is also far away from Ann Arbor, I
don't see Michigan embarrassing themselves again. It's not that I
don't think the maize and blue have a few more stinker performances
to offer in 2003. It's just that we probably won't see two in a
row...especially in Minneapolis on Friday night. Michigan by 2.