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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2003 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON
GAMES FORECAST 2
GAMES CORRECT 2
PCT CORRECT 100.0%
=============================================================

Thursday, August 28
Maryland vs Northern Illinois
Northern Illinois should just be a tune-up for Ralph's reptiles,
before their early-September trip to north Florida. NIU has been
known to flash some offensive fireworks in their previous hook-ups
with ACC teams. However, those "surprises" were generally sprung on
conference bottom-feeders. Since Big Ralph took over, the Terps
have been at the other end of the conference food chain. Look for
the tune-up to go as planned, with Maryland romping to a 24 point
road win.

Utah State vs Utah
I was sitting around talking about college football with a couple of
my friends the other day. We were going over the Thursday night
slate of games. One of them described THIS contest as "the battle
for the state of Utah". My other pal jumped in and dissed Utah,
saying that it wasn't much of a state and I immediately and
vehemently disagreed. Being a person who appreciates natural
beauty and wide-open space, I think Utah is terrific. I also took
issue with the notion that this game would somehow settle college
football bragging rights in Utah. There's a bunch of Mormons over
in Provo that have something to say about THAT. What we DID all
agree on is this.....it's not going to be much of a battle. The
Utes seem to have a more of everything than their Aggie rivals from
USU. So, in round one of the battle for Utah, let's give this one
to the home tribe. Utah by 14.

Georgia Tech vs Brigham Young
It's been a tough off-season at Georgia Tech. Academics have
claimed quite a few young men who would have played and started for
the Yellowjackets. And, there were more than an insignificant
amount of injuries in spring and fall practice. Coach Chan Gailey
has to be rethinking his move into the college ranks. Sure, he had
to deal with injuries in the NFL. But this academics business has
to be a new problem for the Chanster. Don't you know he misses
coaching in a league where it didn't matter if your players were
literate or even human? Speaking of literate and human, those are
terms that can be used to describe most of BYU's student-athletes.
Another term that can be used in conjunction with Cougars would be
altitude-conditioned. Sadly, it does not also apply to the Atlanta
boys. Sucking wind by the fourth quarter, look for Tech to lose
their opener on ESPN. Brigham Young by 8.


Saturday, August 30
Duke vs Virginia
People in the ACC have marveled at the outstanding job of recruiting
done by Virginia coach Al Groh and his staff. In a couple of short
years, he's transformed the Cavs into title contenders. To sum up
what should happen in this conference opener, consider this....how
many of Virginia's recruits were also considering Duke? Yep, the
Blue Devils aren't even good enough to lose recruits to Virginia.
Look for Groh and Co. to recruit themselves an easy opening victory,
Virginia by 24.

Western Carolina vs NC State
Chuck Amato has done a terrific job at NC State. He's taken the
Wolfpack from a middle-of-the-conference bunch of average Joes to
being the rising stars of the ACC. They've even gotten so good that
they're considered in danger of overlooking lesser opponents. Many
would say that this weekend offers such an opportunity. It would
seem tough to focus on the Catamounts with the defending national
champs on the near horizon. Amato's mission is to see that NC State
only shocks the nation once in the next three weeks. Don't look
for anything shocking THIS Saturday. Wolfpack by 24.

Wake Forest vs Boston College
Boston College may be a much better football team than Wake Forest,
but the Demon Deacs have something that the Eagles truly want(ed).
That would, of course, be membership in the ACC. I don't see BC
doing anything this weekend that'll make Wake any more likely to
sponsor them in any future ACC expansion(s). Eagles by 16.

Miami vs Louisiana Tech
The Hurricanes should enjoy this year-opening road trip. First,
they get an automatic win, assuming only that their charter flight
lands safely. And second, the folks in the stands will simply hate
them for being Miami, and won't be dragging any of that changing
conference double-cross baggage into the mix. It seems ironic to
describe the HURRICANES' season-opener with the following sentence,
but it's truly the "calm before the storm". Miami by 30.

Temple vs Penn State
Joe Paterno begins 2003 where he ended 2002, as the nation's
winningest Division-1 coach. Having his Nittany Lions lined up
against the likes of Temple isn't going to do anything to bring JoPa
back to the coaching pack, either. Another mark in the "W" column
for a coaching legend, Penn State by 31.

Indiana vs Connecticutt
It was only a few years ago that UConn chose to move into division 1-
A football. They followed that decision up with the notion of
joining the Big East conference. This weekend's visit from the Big
Ten Hoosiers is certainly continued affirmation of the growth of
Huskie football. But, I still have a niggling nod that the locals
would be MORE impressed with a UConn-IU basketball match-up.
Indiana by a three-point bucket at the buzzer.

Central Michigan vs Michigan
Central Michigan may be the Chippewas, but this Saturday will find
Michigan and their fans as the ones on the "war path". Two years in
a row of losing to Ohio State, coupled with watching OSU moving on
to win a national title has to refocus football in Ann Arbor. That
leaves Central Michigan as the first to feel the fall fury of the
Wolverines. Michigan by 21.

Western Michigan vs Michigan State
One of the ESPN talking heads (Mark May, I think) suggested that
Michigan State may be the "surprise" team of 2003. Considering the
pall of the past, that could be good or bad. But, assuming that
Spartan QB Jeff Smoker can limit his pyrotechnics to the football
(rather than the hemp) field, I see MSU off to a successful start.
Michigan State by 15.

Tulsa vs Minnesota
In mid-America, the safest place to be when a big storm blows in is
underground. So, with the Golden Hurricane of Tulsa edging into
Minneapolis, you'd figure Gophers to be well-suited. Going
underground at home, look for Minnesota to bury any hopes Tulsa
might have of pulling an upset. Gophers by 7.

Northwestern vs Kansas
This Lawrence match-up features two institutions that are highly
respected for intellectual acuity. With so many smart kids on
campus, you'd think that the Jayhawks and Mildcats would find some
way to be more dangerous on a football field. But, since they can't
or haven't, this one's really a battle among barely-armed
combatants. Look for Northwestern to get a close road win in a
triumph of the weak over the meek. Wildcats by 3.

Wisconsin vs West Virginia
There is a dental connection to this contest. Wisconsin is
the "Dairy State", where zillions of gallons of teeth-strengthening
milk are produced. West Virginia is, OTOH, a state with very few
actual teeth. Nonetheless, look for the Mountaineers to put the
bite on Barry's Badgers up in the Morganton hills. West Virginia
by 1.

UAB vs Baylor
The visiting Blazers might just want to consider instituting
the "buddy system" for their trip to Waco. Strange and evil things
have been happening to and about athletes at Baylor lately. Then
again, the "buddy system" seems to be the root of the problems AT
BU. Look for UAB to stick together and stay safe. Blazers by 3.

North Texas vs Oklahoma
OU opens their season against the scary-sounding "Mean Green" from
North Texas. Unfortunately for the visiting Texans, the Sooners
are "Really, Really, Really Mean". Know what I mean? ;) OU by 35.

New Mexico State vs Texas
If Texas fails to win the Big XII or make any national noise in
2003, they'll not have Chris Simms to blame. He's moved on to the
NFL and Tampa Bay. At this point, there may be no scapegoat
available other than Mack "Recruit Yes, Coach No" Brown. But with
the Aggies in town, there'll be no need to start any finger-pointing
before September. :) Longhorns by 21.

Arkansas State vs Texas A&M
New Aggie coach Dennis Frangione has promised a renewed offensive
vigor for his Texas A&M squad. And as any Alabama fan will tell
you, Dennis is a man of his word. ;) Look for A&M to win this one
easily, offense or no offense..... I promise! :) Aggies by 20.

VMI vs Navy
Football hasn't been a happy subject in Annapolis for quite a
while. However, Navy HAS had their greatest success against
other "military teams", so long as they're not Air Force. They may
have charted the right opponent for an opening day win. And, they'd
better enjoy it, as they may not see another "W" opportunity until
the Army-Navy game in December. Midshipmen over the Cadets, call
it by 7.

Troy State vs Kansas State
One of my KSU friends made a statement to me recently, defending
themselves against the old "weak out of conference schedule"
criticism, that goes like this: "I don't see anyone in the SEC
wanting to play Troy State". While I admit that TSU can be a thorn
in one's side, the reluctance in the south to schedule them stems
from an unwillingness to share any spotlight or recruiting glory.
If football had a 64 team tournament like basketball, most national
magazines suggest that Troy State wouldn't be involved. But,
accentuating the positive, there's no doubt that the Alabama Trojans
are a solid top-eighty power. With the Big XII slate yet to come,
this really doesn't matter now. It's just that the KSU folks are
being a little defensive at this early point of what they're hoping
is a championship season. Speaking of defense, we'd better see a
little more of it in Manhattan Saturday than we saw in Kansas City
last week. Or, Bill Snyder may end up wishing he'd scheduled Army.
No worries though, the KSU Kitty-Cruiser keeps humming along.
Kansas State by 24.

Wofford vs Air Force
What an unusual opening contest! Wofford's Terriers bark into
Colorado Springs to hook up with the hometown Falcons. The last
time the USAFA Cadets saw this many small dogs on campus was just
before the spring semester freshman biology dissection lectures.
Speaking of dissection, that's pretty much how this one's gonna
cut. Air Force by 35.

UTEP vs Arizona
The Miners of Texas-El Paso are digging their way into Tucson to
start their 2003 season. And, I think they'll find that they've
drilled in the wrong vein for success. All over Arizona, there are
empty and abandoned mine shafts. The folks in the Grand Canyon
State have shown a propensity to drain a mine of anything
worthwhile, after which they move on. On Saturday, look for Arizona
to strip the Miners of their gridiron value, depleting UTEP's
ambition of victory in a "rush". Producing their own opening-day
gold strike, call this one Arizona by 16.

Sacramento State vs Oregon State
I don't know what Sacramento State's team nickname is, but this
Saturday in Corvallis, it might as well be "mud". Why mud?
Because mud is something that beavers use for building, and Oregon
State is hoping to build some early-season momentum with an opening-
day rout. Call this one for the eager Beavers, by 38.

Idaho vs Washington State (@Seattle)
I read in a magazine where the University of Idaho has a minus-50
turnover ratio over the last three years. That kind of giveaway
track record is bound to make this opener a steal for Wazzoo State.
Look for the Cougars to turnover the scoreboard in Seattle, taking
away a 28 point win.

South Florida vs Alabama
It's probably a good thing that the Crimson Tide is playing this
bunch of Florida kids at home in Tuscaloosa. The last time an
Alabama head coach spent any time in the Sunshine State, things
didn't work out so well. The Bulls' players aren't exactly
barmaids, but Alabama should still get themselves a season-opening
lap dance. Tide by 12.

San Jose State vs Florida
With the price of fuel spiraling, San Jose State should really
rethink playing this sort of game. I'm sure the Spartans could get
their butts kicked a whole lot closer to home. And, speaking of
lonnnnng plane rides, Gator coach Ron Zook might think about hopping
aboard the jet heading west himself if the expected rout does not
occur. Next week's visit to Miami will offer less opportunity for
redemption in the eyes of the Swamp folk than will this mismatch.
Florida by 28.

Louisiana-Monroe vs LSU
I read, in one of those college football ranking magazines, that
Louisiana Munroe was the 116th rated team in America. Folks, there
are only 117 division 1 teams. The bad news for Monroe is that
#117 isn't LSU. Bayou Bengals by 32.

Mississippi vs Vanderbilt
Earlier this year, the Ole Miss fans and team got a wonderful gift.
The news that "Eli's Comin'" (back to college for one more year)
rang a happy tune in Oxford. But, the sad refrain after this year
will be that "Eli's Gone". So, the Rebs had better "get while the
gettin's good", as we say here in the deep, deep south. It don't
get much better than it does when you're playing Vandy, either.
Ole Miss by 12.

Louisiana-Lafayette vs South Carolina
Gamecock boss Lou Holtz is no spring chicken, but he's still got a
few tried and true tricks up his bony sleeves. And, although his
magic act may yet grow old in Columbia (as it did in South Bend),
this weekend will offer an easy rabbit for the Weasel Wizard to pull
from his hat. Look for Lou's Chickens to peck Lafayette's Clucks
pretty effectively. South Carolina by 16.

Fresno State vs Tennessee
When we last saw Tennessee, they were embarrassing themselves in a
crushing bowl loss to Maryland. There's a lot of desire in Big
Orange country to prove that Vols are still among college football's
elite. Well, as they say...the proof is in the pudding. So, look
for Rocky Top to make instant pudding of the FSU-West Bulldogs in
this year's seasonal lid-lifter. Tennessee by 21.

Appalachian State vs Hawaii
Appy State might want to contact Fidel Castro for some security
advice before making this trip. When the Mountaineers get to
paradise, it may be hell getting them back on the return flight.
Castro and his compadres have some experience dealing with that
asylum issue. Hawaii by 8.

Illinois vs Missouri (@ St Louis, MO)
Here's an interesting little inter-conference tussle between two
states astride the mighty Mississippi. The Fighting Illini from
Champaign will represent the eastern bank, while the Columbia,
Missouri Tigers play for the west. And, St. Louis, aka the gateway
city to the west, will be an appropriate host for the contest.
Speaking of "the west", look for the boys from the left bank to
leave town with a season-opening win. Mizzou by a few, call it 3.

Florida State vs North Carolina
2001....Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Two years ago, this is where
FSU learned a sobering truth about a change in direction for their
football team. The Noles were just beginning a new season,
following a shocking loss in the January 2001 Orange Bowl to
Oklahoma. Sure, the player turnover was high, but State fans had
come to expect the annual ten-win and top-four season. Then came
the Tar Heels. They were winless and some said hapless. And, all
they did was beat FSU like a war drum, resulting in the Seminoles'
worst-ever ACC loss. From that point on, more losses followed, and
for the first time in over a decade, the ACC had a new champion.
So, it's not entirely a stretch to say that FSU fans remember two
awful occurrences from September of 2001. And to show you the
cracks that the monumental upset caused, there are many folks in
Tallahassee today who are very, very worried about this game.
Methinks they should save their angst for next week, though. Giving
the boot to the Heels, look for FSU to start 2003 on the right foot,
or should I say heel?? Seminoles by 16.

Colorado vs Colorado State (@Denver)
Are CU coach Gary Barnette and the Buffalo fans about tired of
getting their seasons off to a slow start? Yes. Are the Buffs
tired of upset/surprise losses, sometimes of embarrassing
proportion, to Colorado State? Definitely. Are they ready to do
something about it? Yes. Will they exorcize their Ram demons and
post a pasting of CSU in Denver? Maybe. Let's go against recent
history on this one, folks. Colorado by 4.

Oklahoma State vs Nebraska
Boy, has the scene changed in the Big XII. After just a few short
years of Frank Solich, folks have written the Cornhuskers off. So
many people keep telling me that Nebraska CAN'T win this game.
CAN'T? Never. WON'T? Maybe. There's two important factors that
we need to consider before we chalk this up as a Cowboy win.
First, this is Oklahoma State coming into Lincoln. They're not
Miami, they're not Oklahoma, they're not Ohio State. Hell, they're
not even Colorado or Kansas State. At what point in time did the
Oklahoma State Cowboys become invincible and incapable of losing to
the University of Nebraska in Lincoln? And the second point in
this review of "CAN'T"s.....Frank Solich and Nebraska CAN'T afford a
loss in this game, if they want to remotely remain on the national
radar screen. So summing up, if the opponent were a top-ten
powerhouse instead of a top-twenty five hanger-on, Big Red would be
in big trouble. But for this weekend, there's no need to start
making casket payments in Lincoln. Nebraska by 3.

Southern Miss vs California
I was all set to call this one for Southern Miss. I just figured
that those hard-scrabbled guys from Hattiesburg would show more
(let's call them) huevos than their leftist counterparts out in
Berkeley. But, watching the problems that Cal caused for highly-
rated K-State last week, especially on offense....well I think I've
just changed my mind. Contrary to what USM may have heard, I think
there might be enough real men in the vicinity of UC to thwart an
Eagle landing. Not EVERY football player out in the bay area begs
to play center. :) California by 1.

Oregon vs Mississippi State
A lot of people really consider this to be an interesting
intersectional contest. And I'll admit, it's not everyday that the
Oregon Ducks find their way into Starkville. The MSU locals
generally enjoy duck hunting, but I think they'll find this early
season venture to be less than fulfilling. They say that Jackie
Sherrill is on the hot seat this year. That seat isn't going to get
any cooler in a duck blind. Oregon by 9.

Georgia vs Clemson
When last we left Mark Richt and the Georgia Bulldogs, he was
winning a big game against Coach Bowden. The 2003 opener gives Mark
and his pups a chance to repeat the glory against (another) Coach
Bowden, this time up in Death Valley. And, if Tommy Bowden's
Clemson Tigers don't improve a whole bunch this year, they might
have to rename the place Dead Valley.
You gotta love this game on the first big weekend of college
football. Georgia versus Clemson is southern football at its best,
and that's especially true on the Georgia side of the line.
Bulldogs by 8.

USC vs Auburn
Here's one of THE marquee match-ups for opening weekend. Pete
Carroll and his USC Trojans march down south to hook up with Tommy T
and the Auburn Tigers. A lot of folks think that Auburn is THE over-
rated team in the top ten. And, I'd have to agree with much of the
logic. The Tigers have ten or twelve great running backs, but only
one of them can carry the ball at any one time. And, if you
actually HAVE to gain more than, say, five yards on a particular
third down play, who's going to be able to THROW the football? For
Auburn to succeed in 2003, they'd better keep their negative yardage
plays to a minimum. As for USC, I don't know what will hinder them
most on this foray into Dixie. Will it be the inexperience at QB,
or the inexperience in dealing with southern heat? Well, let's
remember this is THE west-coast glamour team. THE USC Trojans,
folks. No matter who lines up as the signal-caller, he'll look fine
in his gleaming armor. But, that armor is going to be hellishly
uncomfortable in an Alabama August. USC may have the talent for the
season-long NCAA and Pac Ten haul. But Saturday night, it's just
going to be too damned hot to escape with a win. Auburn by 2.

Washington vs Ohio State
A lot of people believe that Rick Neuheisel got fired because he
participated in a college football gambling pool. That's partially
true, but what actually got Rick canned was that he tried to get
Ohio State and 7 points from the university president. I think Rick
might have known something. Ohio State by 3.


Monday, September 1
Louisville vs Kentucky
Although it's well-known that most Kentuckians are raving
alcoholics, I suspect that enough L'ullville fans will retain
memories of last year's UK surprise to prevent a repeat
performance. So, look for the Wildcat fans to be buying the booze
this time....at least until basketball season. :) Cardinals by 6.