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OK, this is a short week, folks. The season doesn't really start
swingin' until next weekend. But, at least we now have college
football to enjoy. So, sit back and enjoy.


Saturday, August 23, 2003

Grambling vs San Jose State
I know you're going to ask me...why in the name of heaven should you
watch and/or even care about this game? In the grand scheme, does
it really matter whether the Tigers or Spartans come out on top?
The teams are in different divisions, they're from opposite parts of
the country. Winning won't make the season for either club, and few
alumni suicides will follow a loss. Granted, the game doesn't
matter one little iota. So who cares? YOU should, especially if
you live in or know someone who lives in California. These are
weird times out in the Golden State, or should I more correctly say
these times are weirder than usual. According to my sources, at
least six members of the San Jose State squad are running for
governor of California. This could be your first opportunity to
begin selecting your candidate. So, if you're not into Ahhhnold,
you'd rather kiss Roseanne Barr than support Gray Davis, or you'd
admit that you were born in Bakersfield before you'd vote for Cruz
Bustamante, I'll tell you this much.... SJSU's starting noseguard
believes that education would be the focus of his administration, so
long as a requirement to attend college classes isn't included. The
Spartan place-kicker supports the reduction of insurance premiums,
so that he can purchase enough coverage to propagate some sort of
injury scam before the end of the conference slate. Stay away from
the 3rd team quarterback, though....I hear he's such a tax and spend
liberal that he literally makes Hillary Clinton shake her pom
poms. I don't know much politically about the other SJSU
player/candidates. So, if you live in California, watch this game
and then be sure to vote on October 7th! And, if you don't live in
California, watch the game and be thankful that you don't live in
California. San Jose State by 7.


California vs Kansas State
The 60's hit "California Dreamin'" refers to a positive state of
mind engendered by living in or visiting the Golden State. But for
this weekend's out-of-Lotusland trip to the Great Plains, "dreamin'"
could be predictive of the Berkeley Bears' chance of remaining
undefeated. The song talks about "all the leaves being gone". Well,
when Bill Snyder's Wildcats blow onto the gridiron Saturday, they'll
blow off more than leaves. Going back to the classic
tune, "stopping by a church and getting down on your knees to pray"
might be a prudent addition to the visitors' game plan. As they
say at the homeless shelter....it couldn't hurt. Kansas State by 21.




That's it for now. I'll see you next week with a larger slate of
fun and games. And, maybe I'll pick on one of the other 49 states
a little. :)