< < ============================================ > >

THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
Fool's Paradise for Internet College Football Fans

© 2005 P.Chamlis/
The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved

< < ============================================ > >
Games of November 3 – 5, 2005

Last weekend might have been a "one hit wonder", but it was magical
for your humble Prophet. I was 21-4, and nailed some of those game
point spreads very nicely. I hit several of my upsets, and was
close on one other. (Nice choke job, Stanford) So for this week,
let me bask in the glory of being on top of my game.

And here's hoping I don't turn into the "Iron Butterfly" or "The
Night Chicago Died" of football prognostication, i.e. catching
lighting in the jar only briefly. :) And whoever's humming "Come
to San Francisco and Wear Some Flowers in Your Hair", I hear you. :)

For the year, my record is now 158 out of 209 picks, which is 76%.
And while I love the spirit of '76, I'd love to move even higher.

Let's look at this week's games...

Thursday, November 3
Pittsburgh at Louisville
Thursday night's ESPN game features a battle of "might-have-beens".
Both Pitt and L'ullville have been major disappointments to their
fans in 2005. Cardinal backers expected to take a New Year's
birdbath in a BCS bowl, with a Big East title being a foregone
conclusion. I guess someone forgot to let South Florida and West
Virginia in on UL's plan. And as for Pitt, let's just say that it's
hard to believe that so many Panther fans bought into the idea of
Dave "Mediocre Everywhere He's Ever Been Head Coach" Wannstedt
making Pitt a national contender with his very presence. On opening
day, Notre Dame waltzed into the steel city and slammed the door on
any thoughts of an undefeated season. At the time, folks wondered
aloud "how good is Notre Dame"? Time has shown that the better
question would have been "how BAD is Pitt"? So, whereas preseason
rags pointed to this week's Cardinal-Panther clash as a battle for
the conference title, Thursday will only bring a showdown of wannabe
flops. But on the plus side, it's in HIGH-DEF! Louisville by 8.

Saturday, November 5
Boston College at North Carolina
Wow. For one half of a football game last Saturday, UNC looked like
something special. The Tar Heels were thumping highly-regarded
Miami all over the decrepit Orange Bowl. But alas, the clock struck
twelve and Cinderella went back to her rags. Speaking of clocks,
maybe THAT was it. Miami might have just re-set their clocks to
standard time a day early, which required them an extra hour to get
it all together. As for this Saturday, I'd expect both the Eagles
and Heels to be in complete temporal synchronicity come kickoff hour
in Chapel Hill. And although I don't see them cleaning BC's clock,
I DO think North Carolina will have an untimely little surprise for
their friends from up Beantown way. In an upset, call it Heels by 2.

Minnesota at Indiana
My Big Ten woes continue, as I keep getting hammered. Whether I'm
bold or conservative, whether I play the home versus visitor angle,
or just look at the respective teams' recent performance, I just
keep missing Big Ten picks. So, as I make a choice in the Hoosier-
Gopher scuffle, I'll say simply that Glen Mason's boys are clearly
the better team, which in this screwy season can mean only one
thing. That's right...somehow, Indiana will summon up enough
phantom talent, luck and wizardry to pull a home upset. Indiana by
2.

Iowa at Northwestern
I was knocked for a loop by the Evanston Wildcats last Saturday, as
the 2005 Northwestern squad went back to their mid-70s roots and
fell apart against Michigan. Speaking of living in the past, I went
back and read over some of the preseason mags this week, just for
fun. One, Athlon's College Football, picked Iowa to finish third in
the nation. Damn, it would take a miracle for the Hawkeyes to even
finish third in the Big Ten, folks. On their 2005 "predicted
schedule result", Athlon listed Northwestern as a sure "W" on the
Iowa schedule. (They'd chosen, in preseason, to list some games
as "W", some as "L" and some as "*" meaning a tossup.) Since Athlon
was wrong about so many other things...Tennessee finishing second in
the nation and playing in the Rose Bowl would be a good example...it
only seemed right to throw the baby and bathwater out
simultaneously. Northwestern returns to their loving Wildcat ways,
call it kittens by 7.

Michigan State at Purdue
Purdue is my favorite Big Ten unit. It's not that I have any ties
or love for ol' PU as an institution or football team, it's just
that I like the way they've played consistent football this year.
You see, I gave up on them early in the season. And, unlike some
other loser teams, they've not complicated the issue by springing an
occasional upset, thereby screwing up my win percentage. I love
teams that play the same way week in and out. Michigan State by 3.

Texas at Baylor
Texas had an early little trick or treat prank for Frank Beamer and
the Virginia Tech Hokies last Saturday. For the first part of their
road trip to Okie State, the `Horns fiddled around like a team about
to get beat. But before VaTech's athletic director had time to hit
Priceline for California air travel, it all disappeared like the end
of a good dream. And since the Hokies will have THEIR hands full on
Saturday, it's probably good to know that there'll be no more
teasing the pollsters or computers by Texas, at least not on this
weekend. Longhorns by 21.

South Carolina at Arkansas
I love old southern sayings, they're so colorful. One of the best
ones involves not knowing where someone is when someone else is
looking for them. It goes like this... "Bill, do you know where
Larry is?" "Hell no, for all I know, he went to sh#t and the hogs
ate him." Well, none of that means much here, but I guess I just
thought about it with regard to Steve Spurrier, South Carolina's
(beloved by all SEC fans) coach. The Gamecocks kind of "dropped
one" on Tennessee last weekend, and I'm betting that USC might just
have another load ready for Arkansas on Saturday. Something tells
me that what the hogs eat on Saturday ain't gonna be all that
pleasant, if you get my drift. South Carolina by 2.

Auburn at Kentucky
The Tigers may have lost their undefeated SEC record in Baton Rouge
a couple of weeks ago, but they still control their own destiny.
And considering Tommy Tuberville's coaching track record, that
doesn't bode well for the Kentucky Cats. You see, SOME teams find
ways to be surprised. They get themselves tripped up when playing
lesser opponents. But Tuberville's Auburn teams generally only lose
to good teams. The early season loss to Georgia Tech is about
as "upsetting" as his losses at Auburn seem to be. What I'm trying
to spit out is that Auburn just doesn't go around getting themselves
beaten by the likes of Kentucky. Auburn by 24.

Duke at Clemson
Duke University is one of the nation's premier learning institutes.
Some of y'all in non-southern places may look down on higher
education in Dixie, but make NO mistake. SAT scores at Duke are as
high as the national debt, and rising almost as fast. :) Believe
me when I tell you that the rocket scientists in Durham have already
figured out what awaits them on their trip to Clemson. You have a
Tiger squad that (a) wants revenge for a humiliating loss last
season and (b) is coming off another humiliating upset loss. (...one
called beautifully by your Prophet, brag brag...) Methinks the
Dookie fans will be better served attending early basketball
practice on this Saturday. The gridiron will hold no rewards for
the boys in blue. Clemson by 21.

Nebraska at Kansas
I'm sure that when Nebraska fired Frank Solich and hired Bill
Callahan as their new coach, there must have been some sort of
committee that made the decision. This weekend's breather trip to
Kansas will offer the members of THAT committee a golden opportunity
to quietly slip into the witness protection program, while the
Cornhusker fans are busy watching the Jayhawk plucking on TV.
Nebraska by 10.

Wake Forest at Georgia Tech
In the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander
department", look for Wake Forest to feed Georgia Tech a spoonful of
their own medicine. Last weekend, Chan's Yellowjacketed clan sprang
an upset (beautifully predicted by the Prophet...brag, brag...) of
Clemson. Hey, remember up above when I told you how I loved
southern sayings? Well, here's another good one. Look for the
sermon that Jim Groves' Demon Deacons preach in Atlanta to "go over
like a fart in church" for the folks at Bobby Dodd Stadium. I smell
another upset. Wake by 2.

Tennessee at Notre Dame
Last weekend, Notre Dame offered new head coach Charlie Weis a TEN
YEAR contract extension. Man alive, the fish eater brass must
really like what they've seen outta good time Charlie. Wow, ten
years! IMHO, it might be a little early to be handing out ten year
deals, but on this Saturday in South Bend, it'll seem like a good
investment. I wonder if Tennessee will be offering Fool Fulmer and
his staff any ten-year extensions after this season? Notre Dame by
7.

BYU at UNLV
You might think Bronco Mendenhall and his Provo Cougars will be out
of place in Sin City this weekend. But, the Mormon Marauders are
used to being sent out on holy missions. As for this weekend's
visit to Vegas, BYU will go 50/50. They'll get very few, if any,
recruits or converts into their faith. In fact, if the crap tables
are humming, they might lose a couple. But when it's all said and
done, most of the Cougar players will head back to Utah Saturday
night with a solid win under their belts.

Alabama at Mississippi State
Back when Alabama was looking for a coach to replace Mike Price (the
only Alabama coach to never lose a game), Sylvester Crooms was
mentioned by quite a few people. An ex-Tide player, Sylvester would
have made history as the first black head coach AT Alabama, or in
the SEC for that matter. Of course, Coach Crooms eventually did the
Jackie Robinson thing for the SEC when he was hired at Mississippi
State. But I am convinced that he REALLY wanted the job in
Tuscaloosa. When the Tide rolls into Starkville on Saturday,
Sylvester will once again wish he'd been summoned to Alabama instead
of Mississippi (State). This SEC-West "first place versus last
place" contest shakes down much as you'd expect. Crimson Tide by 18.

N.C. State at Florida State
I read where Wolfpack Coach Chuck Amato "almost always calls and has
a long talk each week with Coach Bowden". It seems that they talk
about life, faith, football, recruiting...all sort of things. And
in the past, it's been a plus for Chuck in his first head coaching
position. So, what's gone wrong lately? Well, let's just say that
calling FSU and asking for "Coach Bowden" could get you connected to
Bobby Bowden. But, it might ring you onto Jeff Bowden as well. If
Chuck doesn't have the direct line number for the big guy, he needs
to get it. Just between you and me, if ::I:: were calling coaches,
I'd dial Pete Carroll or Frank Beamer. But as for this Saturday and
regardless of which Seminole coach Amato chats up, his Wolfpack will
supply the last win needed for the Seminoles to book their December
tickets to Jacksonville and the ACC title game, where a mauling by
Virginia Tech awaits. FSU by 9.

Wisconsin at Penn State
Joe Paterno may be the second-winningest coach in NCAA history.
But, at least for this year, Wisconsin boss Barry Alvarez has done
something beyond JoPa's reach, as he actually decided to retire. It
ain't gonna win the game for the Badgers, but you gotta give ol'
Barry credit for being decisive. And speaking of decisive, call
this one pretty big for Penn State. Nittany Lions by 14.

Illinois at Ohio State
I wonder if any of the Fighting Illini fans have contacted the folks
down in Gainesville, Florida with regard to purchasing the
old "FireRonZook.com" website? This year's Illinois squad has been
taking hits at a speed Google would admire, and I see that trend
continuing on Saturday in Columbus. Look for the Buckeyes to
disconnect the old orange and blue server yet again. Ohio State by
18.

California at Oregon
Berkeley fans, after the success of the last two years, are
beginning to wonder exactly what is WRONG with their Bears? Well,
after this weekend's migration up to Autzen Stadium, the Cal crowd
might begin wondering exactly what is RIGHT with their team. The
answer, at least on Saturday, will be "not a whole helluva lot".
After this game, and with USC on the horizon, it might just be about
time for the Bears to start hibernating. Oregon by 10.

UCLA at Arizona
The Bruin players and coaches collectively can't stand the thought
of having their undefeated season end against their hated rivals
from USC. And I'm beginning to think that, subconsciously, they're
trying to do something about it, as in losing BEFORE that game takes
place. The comatose performance in Palo Alto last Saturday came
within a heartbeat of flat-lining the Bruins' title hopes. At the
last minute, the will to live kicked in and the Uclans survived
another week. On the road this weekend, I'm expecting another
spotty performance, as the Bruins spend more and more of each week's
practice time fretting about SC. Will Karl's Bears do the gridiron
equivalent of slashing their wrists on Saturday? It'll be touch and
go, but seeing as how Arizona is NOT a "right to die" state, I'd
expect little terminal assistance from Mike Stoopes' Wildcats.
Bruins by 7.

Colorado State at TCU
Well, not many teams did it to me last week. I DID only miss four
games. But as usual, Colorado State was one of the offending
parties. I think I'm developing a real allergy to wool, courtesy of
the Fort Collins sheep. I guess I'm just a glutton for mutton
punishment, because I keep making calls on games involving the
Rams. So, here goes the Prophet lamb off to slaughter again. TCU
by 6.

Vanderbilt at Florida
Urban Meyer is wrong. He says that his Gators need "more offense".
And while theoretically that's true, I really believe that a few
more home games against the likes of Vanderbilt are just what the
doctor ordered for the Gator offense. Winning easily, even without
the benefit of an opposing quarterback's getting injured, call this
one for the Lizard Kings. Florida by 20.

Appalachian St. at LSU
Nobody would ever attempt to minimize the impact of Hurricane
Katrina on the state of Louisiana. LSU, both the university and
football program, have had their share of upheaval due to the
storm's impact. However, recent reports show that things are
improving down in Louisiana. And speaking of disasters, look for
FEMA to be heading up to North Carolina to pick of the pieces of
whatever's left after Appy State's trip to Tiger Stadium. The Bayou
Bengals are going to lower the boom on the boys from Boone. LSU by
35.

Stanford at USC
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. And so begins
the classic Dickens story "A Tale of Two Cities". For Stanford this
weekend, it's actually a tale of two TEAMS, but only one city. Last
Saturday, the Cardinal held a 3 touchdown lead over UCLA with seven
minutes to go. And with a velocity that would impress the guys over
at the Palo Alto linear accelerator lab, Stanford stormed from ahead
to lose in overtime. Going back to the Dickens motif, consider this
scary thought. The best of times, when you're playing major college
football teams from Los Angeles, comes when you line up against the
Bruins. On Saturday, it'll revert to the worst of times for
Stanford, in the worst of all possible places. Trojans by 28.

Texas A&M at Texas Tech
Dennis Frangione's A&M teams have all been schizophrenic. They've
had good games and immediately followed them up with bad games. And
the bipolar game plan continues this season, with one unsettling
manifestation. Whereas the Aggies used to be good one week and bad
the next, they're now sliding towards terrible one week and mediocre
the next. Neither disguise is going to play well in Lubbock on
Saturday. Look for Tech to give Coach Fran another chance to wonder
why he left Alabama in the first place. Red Raiders by 10.

Miami at Virginia Tech
The Miami Hurricanes have quietly snuck back into the thick of
college football's championship race. Like a dangerous hurricane
that's remained just off the NCAA radar, Larry Coker's boys are
looking forward to a season's ending landfall in a BCS bowl game.
The numbers and stats would seem to back up the lofty goal. Miami
has the second best scoring defense in America. The `Canes have the
second longest winning streak in conference games, and they have the
second best record in the ACC. There's only one real problem with
all of this, and it's the Virginia Tech Hokies. In all those
categories that Miami is second, VaTech is first. That ugly fact,
coupled with this game's location in the hills of Virginia, can mean
only one thing. Miami will finish the second second-best in the
ACC's Coastal Division, which will earn them the right to watch the
title game on TV just like everyone else. Look for Beamer's boys to
do what they enjoy most in their new conference, namely roughing up
south Florida friends from their old conference. VaTech by 10.