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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
Fool's Paradise for Internet College Football Fans

© 2005 P.Chamlis/
The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved

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Games of October 20 – 22, 2005

Well, Prophet maintained ground last weekend. I actually picked up
a bit statistically, but remain basically at 74%. (117 out of 158)
I was proud of the West Virginia over Louisville call, and I
appreciate the huge Mountaineer rally that saved my bacon. I had
problems, as did other prognosticators, with some of the upsets.
But all in all, not a bad week.

As most of you know, I'm an alum of Florida State, and my Seminoles
were upset by Virginia last Saturday. A few days after that defeat,
Seminole Coach Bobby Bowden offered what I've decided to make our
quote of the week…

"Well, the truth is that if Texas and USC don't lose, it's pretty
much cut and dried."

OK, I get it, Coach. Ain't no reason to play or win any of the
remaining games, right? I guess that the "dad gum" ACC title game
and its potential key to the BCS ain't enough to fight for. (Note
to people beyond our area...Coach Bowden is noted for saying "dad
gum" and "dadgummit" when he's frustrated.) You'd think a guy who'd
won more Division-1 football games than any other coach could come
up with something better than a rehashed version of Aesop's "Sour
Grapes" parable in his post-game press conference.

OK, whether Coach Bowden sees any point to the rest of the season or
not, I'm gonna keep pickin' games. Let's try to get a few more
right this time... dad-gummit! ;)

Thursday, October 20
Virginia Tech at Maryland
A few weeks ago, Terp Coach Ralph Friedgen reminded the media to not
count out his team for the ACC title and/or title game. His simple
statement was "we plan to be in the ACC title game". Well while
I'll admire ol' fatty's chutzpah, I have to question his wisdom.
Why ANYONE would want to face Virginia Tech twice in one season is
beyond me. But, I have good news for Ralphie in this Thursday night
game. It'll be the one and only beating his Terps have to absorb
courtesy of the VaTech Hokies. Someone ELSE will get the title game
thumping. Virginia Tech by 14.

Friday, October 21
Southern Miss at UAB
USM has a long history at Legion Field. Oh sure, the venerable old
stadium in downtown B'ham was really the de facto home of Alabama,
and sometimes served as reluctant hosts to Auburn as well. But,
Southern Miss has played their share of football games in the steel
city. And it seemed as though the Eagles were ALWAYS a thorn
in `Bama's side. They'd seldom win, but they always left more than
their share of bruises on the Tide players. Well in this Friday
clash, the dirty birds from Hattiesburg will line up against a
different bunch of Alabama boys, namely the Blazers of UAB. Look
for the historical roles to be reversed. I see Alabama-B'ham
handing out plenty of bruises, while favored USM slinks away with a
hard-fought win. Golden Eagles by 7.

Georgia Tech at Miami
Folks, not only am I picking a winner in this game, I'm even picking
the DAY of the game. Originally scheduled to be played on Saturday
night in the Orange Bowl, the contest is probably being shifted
earlier by the approach of Hurricane Willlllllllllma. (...nod to
Fred Flintstone...) So, let me really stick my neck out and say
that I believe the game will be played on Friday night, just to
annoy all of the Dade County high school coaches. :) As for
picking a winner on the field, THAT's much easier than tracking a
hurricane. Miami is gonna slap Tech around, whether they play the
game before, after or during the storm. Miami by 21.

Saturday, October 22
Georgia Tech at Miami
OK, I've already told you that I suspect this game will be played on
Friday. But even IF it slips to Saturday, Tech still gets their
asses kicked. Miami by 21...still.
Arkansas at Georgia
Is Georgia about to become the 2005 version of last-year's Auburn
team? Do they go undefeated in the tough SEC, only to see USC and
someone else line up in the Rose Bowl? Bulldog Coach Mark Richt is
a smart fellow, and right now he just says that matching last-year's
Auburn RECORD would make him happy. And, you really should
take "first things first". But something tells me that being shut
out of a second straight BCS would really rile up the folks over in
the SEC Commissioner's Office. Georgia by 13.

Ohio State at Indiana
The Big Ten has proven to be the landmine conference this year,
especially on the road. Some of the more memorable upsets, within
the conference, have come away from the ol' home field. OSU
pointing Penn State towards Pasadena two weeks ago is a prime
example. The Nittany Lions continued the theory the following
weekend, losing to "average-at-best" Michigan. So the point of all
this talk, talk, talk is that one should pick Big Ten teams to win
conference games on the road at one's own risk. (My God, if I'm
gonna keep writing convoluted sentences like that last one, I might
need to get myself a good lawyer...) I HAVE learned my conference
lesson, and will follow it to the letter of the law in most future
cases. We'll just call it my "Big Ten Plan". However, THIS
weekend's Buckeye bump in Bloomington will be an exception to the
norm. Ohio State by 12.

Northwestern at Michigan State
See above. Michigan State = home team. Apply basic strategy, ie.
picking the Spartans in their own stadium. Stop. Take into
consideration any special exceptions to apparent rule involving home
team. Is visiting team Michigan? No. Case closed, go with
strategy as planned. Michigan State by 2.

Virginia at North Carolina
My son is in the Florida State band. He reported, after last
weekend's visit to Virginia, that fewer than 100 people in the
Cavaliers' Stadium were sober during the better part of that game.
I always thought of the UVa troops as being a toney corps, a bunch
of wine and cheese eaters. Socialites, bluebloods, etc. But, my
boy said they reminded him of a better-dressed version of the
Clemson fans. WELL, now that I know that, I can offer some sage
travel advice for the Wahoo faithful as they hit the road following
last weekend's big win. Buy and drink early, folks. I see that
happy feeling comin' to a screeching halt in Chapel Hill. In an
upset, call it Tar Heels by 3.

Syracuse at Pittsburgh
The Orangemen and Panthers are both being led by first-year
coaches. And to the surprise of most, SU and Pitt are perhaps the
worst and second-worst teams in the Big East. In Pittsburgh's case,
who would've guessed it, other than all of the pro football fans in
Chicago and Miami? And for Syracuse, there was no reason to believe
than new man Greg Robinson could turn Paul Pasqualone's mediocre
team of 2004 into 2005 disaster. Then again, there's nothing like
teaching a new offense to guys who couldn't run the old one. But by
golly, that's what's happened. Let's just say that if Syracuse gets
blown out of their home dome by powers such as Rutgers, they'll
stand no chance on the road in the steel city. No chance? Well,
not quite. Paraphrasing what I said about Syracuse last weekend, if
ANY team is capable of losing at home to a horrible opponent, it's
Pitt. But unlike last week, it won't actually happen. Pittsburgh
continues to reflect the beauty of Wannstedt coaching with a
stumbling 6 point win.

Louisville at Cincinnati
This year's Louisville squad has done it all. They've fallen way
behind and lost a game. And, they've stormed to huge leads, only to
lose the game. About the only thing UL hasn't done in '05 is
dominate the Big East as many experts had predicted. Oh, they'll
probably sodomize Cincinnati on Saturday, but...it's too late for
any BCS thoughts in this season. Cardinals by 24.

Michigan at Iowa
OK, Big Ten formula time again. Michigan = road team, they should
lose. Apply any special circumstance...oh yes, Iowa's had numerous
injuries in this campaign, which has scuttled what should have been
a fine season. So, Michigan wins, right? Wait, check for any other
corollary events...oh yes... Michigan sprang a huge upset against
Penn State last weekend, knocking the Lions from the unbeaten
ranks. Two wins in a row for Michigan? That does it. Back to
earth on Saturday, call it Iowa in an upset. Hawkeyes by 1.

Nebraska at Missouri
A lot of people figured that Mizzou QB Brad Smith would be in the
thick of this year's Heisman Trophy race. However as we all know,
in order to visit NYC in December, your team had better be at or
near the top of the polls. The truth is that with Reggie Bush alive
and breathing, the Heisman race is headed towards an early close.
But the good news for Tiger fans is that Mizzou might just beat
Nebraska for the first time in eons this Saturday. Better to light
one candle than to curse the darkness, right? Look for Brad to
light up the Huskers in his own special way. Missouri by 3.

Temple at Clemson
What's with Temple? Last weekend, they got themselves hammered by
the Miami Hurricanes. This week, they travel to Clemson, SC, to
hook up with the local polecats. What's with all these ACC
opponents? Is Temple angling for membership? Well, I hope not,
as "we" already have Duke. The ACC has no need for additional
whipping boys, although the individual members DO appreciate the
opportunity for an out-of-league "bye" week that comes equipped with
a win. Tommy's Tigers triumph over Temple, call it Clemson by 17.

Texas A&M at Kansas State
Let's see, is this Texas A&M's week to get blown out by 40 points,
or are they scheduled to score 60+ points in an unexpectedly easy
win? Hmmmmmmm, let's check this out. Two weeks ago, slaughtered on
the road by Colorado. One week ago, huge blowout win over Okie
State at home. I see the pattern. Call this one for my Wildcats,
especially the nice Wildcat Ladies who keep writing to me. However,
I can't give you a blowout, dears...your Cats just don't have the
offensive firepower. KSU by 4.

BYU at Notre Dame
The Mormons and the Catholics meet in South Bend, and yet the
heathens at USC probably hold the key to the game's outcome.
Exactly how much of Notre Dame's soul did Pete Carroll and company
cut out with last Saturday's thrilling win? Well, I believe it's a
deep, deep wound. But, I don't believe BYU has the scripture or
verse to write a successful ending, even in ND's time of darkness.
One of my best friends, an ex-Mormon, insists that the religion's
ultimate goal is to elect a Mormon president. Apparently,
Massachusetts' Mitt Romney is the guy. And while I won't bag any
good conspiracy theories, I'm guessing the folks in Provo would
settle for a decent football coach and program. :) Notre Dame by 10.

Wyoming at Colorado State
In addition to my well-documented (in this issue) Big Ten Plan, I'm
beginning to formulate a formula for Mountain West games. It's
actually a cowards' contract, as I'm thinking of just staying away
from any and all games involving these Rocky Mountain hosers. But
until I go ahead and quit, I'll keep making a few token picks. On
Saturday, the Wyoming Cowboys ride into town in search of something
to rope. And while the `pokes prefer dealing with cattle, they'll
be content to tie up Sonny Lubick's hometown sheep instead. Wyoming
by 3.

USC at Washington
A good friend of mine, a member of the USC fan group called "The
Thundering Herd", made the following statement to me this week: "I
don't know how many more season-ending injuries we can sustain."
Well, that's a valid question, especially when the Trojans line up
against Cal and UCLA, et al. But for this trip to Seattle, the
whole team would have to have season-ending injuries to affect the
outcome. If USC can field a healthy group of 11 on-fielders, this
one's over. Kicking Ty's Huskie pups around, call it Southern Cal
by 24.

Florida State at Duke
Well, it finally happened last weekend for FSU. And, I'm not just
talking about a loss. Let me quote Florida Gator coach Urban Meyer,
who was talking about HIS team after being massacred at
Alabama. "We were exposed." Folks, FSU was exposed last weekend in
Charlottesville. The offense has talent but no cohesion, not to
mention minimal coaching. In spite of Tallahassee protests, there
are issues among players regarding playing time, etc. And Mickey
Andrews' defense is simply nowhere near as good as they, or the
fans, believe they are. Nowhere close. In short, they were
EXPOSED. Now speaking of exposure, Duke is the most exposed
football program in the ACC. The rest of the league has pretty much
enjoyed an "all access pass" to accost the Blue Devils in any way,
shape and form for quite a few years. So regardless of FSU's
present standing, with regard to their exposure, look for the `Noles
to redraw the cloak of secrecy around their recently-exposed
weaknesses with a clunking of Duke. FSU by 22.

Purdue at Wisconsin
Big Ten game. Purdue = road team. Purdue loses. Any other special
exceptions or corollaries? Well, both teams seem to be falling
apart. But, Purdue is way ahead of Barry's Badgers in the
department of disintegration. Stick with the basic plan, Wisconsin
wins at home, call it by 7.

N.C. State at Wake Forest
Even though they're not really going anywhere, Jim Grobe's Demon
Deacons still have reason to play hard on Saturday. It's called
PRIDE. And actually, the visiting Wolfpack and their embattled
coach Chuck Amato have plenty of incentive to play their best game,
too. But until State leads the country in something other than
penalties, I see a continuation of their recent sinking trend. Wake
Forest by 3.

Vanderbilt at South Carolina
Vandy was sitting pretty in the SEC, at least for a while. But
then, LSU and Georgia reminded the Commodores of their losing
heritage. In short, Vandy has relearned the fine art of losing.
USC East hasn't exactly set the SEC on fire in Steve Spurrier's
first season. But, I believe the Chickens are beginning to scratch
the surface of Spurrier's madness. In 2005, USC East (sorry, Fred)
is beatable so long as one has the formula, which includes a solid
running game. Vanderbilt features the air attack, and if there's
anything that evil Steve knows, it's the passing game. Look for
Saturday night to be a hint of things to come in Columbia over the
next few years. South Carolina by 14.

Arizona State at Stanford
I really love the Bay Area of northern California. I guess that's
why I keep picking games involving Stanford and/or California. It's
my clandestine way of paying a visit to one of America's prettiest
places. In fact, that MUST be the reason, because it sure ain't due
to any great success in picking winners. Oh, I pick a real winner
in the Bay Area once in a while. So, let's hope this call is
something special for Prophet on Saturday. Arizona State by 14.

Tulane at Central Florida
I visited Savannah, Georgia last weekend. Those of you who've
seen "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" know that Savannah is
America's most haunted city. (Yes, I visited the Bonaventure
Cemetery) I also did a ghost tour, and learned a bit about the art
of voodoo and spells. (They call it "giving someone a bad root",
due to the help of a root, or witch, doctor) So with my newfound
knowledge of all things evil, let me humbly suggest that Tulane
consider an exorcism. Only a few weeks ago, the Tulane campus was
smoked by Hurricane Katrina. Early this week, Tropical Storm
Willllllllllma entered the Caribbean, headed to Mexico. Then,
Tulane heads to Central Florida, to play football against the Golden
Knights. Tropical Storm Willllllllllllllma stops dead in her
tracks, reverses course and heads straight for Florida. Oh, and
along the way, she goes from being a tropical storm to a category
five hurricane in about 12 hours. There is something evil about
these Green Wavers from Tulane. Oh well, if they're going to
attract the malevolent attention of God in such an obvious manner,
they might as well win a football game in the process. Tulane by 1.

Oregon State at UCLA
The Bruins are one of those teams that has QUIETLY remained
undefeated. Part of the reason could be that they haven't beaten
any noisy teams. Nothing they've done has raised too much clutter
on the national circuit. And this weekend's visit from Oregon State
is unlikely to change any of that. Look for another unimpressive
win from the `ruins at home in Pasadena. UCLA by 5.

Penn State at Illinois
Big Ten game. Penn State = road team, Penn State loses, at least
according to base strategy. Any exceptions to consider before making
pick? Well, there's just one. Joe Paterno has won the second-most
division 1 football games of any coach. And a lot of those wins, as
with any successful coach, have come at the expense of vastly
undermanned and undercoached opponents. That's the case on
Saturday. Bucking the home team trend in the Big Ten, look for the
Nittany Kitties to rebound from last Saturday's disappointment.
Penn State by 17.

Washington State at California
Remember California? THIS was the team that beat USC two years ago,
and should have beaten them last year. THIS was the team that was
gonna beat USC THIS year. Yep, I hear you. Hell, I'm not even sure
that Cal can beat Washington State. But I suppose I've got to show
some faith in these Bay Area Bears. Cal by 4.

Texas Tech at Texas
Two big questions exist for this Big XII south clash of the titans.
(1) Can Texas Tech win a really big game with their high-energy but
quirky offense? And,(2) Has Texas Tech received their shipment
of "Longhorn Kryptonite", previously owned by Bob Stoopes and the
Oklahoma Sooners? The answers are "no" and "no". And assuming that
UT doesn't commit the ultimate "no-no" of overlooking a decent Red
Raider squad, they should secure their hold on BCS position two come
Saturday. Longhorns by 7.

Tennessee at Alabama
You know, deep in my heart, I KNOW Alabama is not THAT good.
They're solid and very much improved. But are they BCS material?
Really? Well, in truth, who knows. I'd love to call this one for
an upset, but two things are stopping me. First, it's being played
in Tuscaloosa. We saw what happened to a superior (to Tennessee)
Florida team at Bryant-Denny two weeks ago. And, that's not even
factoring in Alabama's near-miss visit to Oxford last weekend.
Suffice to say, the Tide should have regained focus. But, the
biggest reason for not taking a Volunteer upset is what I saw, or
more correctly didn't see, in the game against Georgia two weeks
ago. Did ANYONE see ANYTHING in that game, on the Tennessee side,
to indicate this big Orange club is capable of springing a
monumental upset in hostile Tuscaloosa? C'mon folks. Phil Fulmer
has lost plenty of times to INFERIOR Crimson Tide teams. He just
isn't the sort to outcoach someone, not even Mike Shula. The Tide
keeps rolling, call it Alabama by 8.

Auburn at LSU
Both Auburn and LSU have recovered, somewhat, from early-season
defeats. And this weekend's Baton Rouge catfight will go a long way
in determining which team Alabama has to beat for the SEC West
title. Tommy Tuberville's visiting Tigers have been improving week
to week, and have been largely ignored by the football media. They
could well have more than their share of surprises for the hometown
Bengals. As for LSU, they're talented cats, but finicky in true
feline fashion. You never know which kitties are gonna show up, and
the behavior and performance can easily change, in so much as a few
plays' sequence. Auburn has definitely been the more consistent
team of late. But, I'll say this...new LSU boss Les Miles hasn't
made anyone in Baton Rouge forget the departed Nick Saban. If he
lets LSU lose this game, especially in some excruciating fashion,
he'll need to install metal detectors and anti-aircraft missiles
around his home. So, look for LSU to find a way to defend their
home catbox on Saturday. It's a matter of survival for Coach
Miles. BAYOU Bengals by 3.

= = = = = = = = = = =

OK, that's that for this week. Enjoy, and thanks for the letters,
folks. See you next week!