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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
Fool's Paradise for Internet College Football Fans

© 2005 P.Chamlis/
The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved

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Games of October 13-15, 2005 T I F

Oh my God. Before last weekend's tragic picks, I only THOUGHT
things were getting bad for the Prophet. I can only hope that the
newsletter remains funny and entertaining, because it sure as hell
isn't accurate. But then again, those words could describe almost
any congressional budget forecast...funny, entertaining and not
remotely accurate. I see where we're gonna send lots of aid to
Pakistan to rebuild after the earthquake. I'd forgotten how much
money we had socked away in the old national treasury. ;)

Oh well, I suppose I should get MY house in order. As of now, the
Prophet is stumbling along at an accuracy clip of 74% (98 of 133).
And after last week, I have to apologize to both Mack AND Charlie
Brown. I guess I was the blockhead. :) OK, let's try again...

Thursday, October 13
Clemson at N.C. State
I read where Clemson QB Charlie Whitehurst feels that the Tigers
have "their backs against the wall". Well, if Charlie will just
check with Wolfpack Coach Chuckles Amato, he'll learn that he's got
company in the old cigarette and blindfold department. Last
Thursday night, NC State survived when Georgia Tech felt compelled
to give away a game. And although everyone knows it's better to be
lucky than good, State will have to try being better (rather than
luckier) than their opponent this week, if the Raleigh ACC news is
to stay good. Damn, what a game to pick. BOTH teams seem in
disarray. But when in doubt for such a clash, you have to consider
who's the home team...and then pick the visitor. When things are
going wrong, the worst hurt comes in front of the home fans.
Clemson by 2.

Friday, October 14
UTEP at Tulane
This is a home game for Tulane, but I'll admit that I don't actually
know WHERE the game will be played. I see where UTEP Coach Mike
Price just settled a lawsuit he had going with Sports Illustrated,
so I suspect that he's flush with some additional cash. You KNOW he
has to be disappointed that a side-trip in the French Quarter
probably won't happen on this roadie. So, perhaps Coach should just
invest his new jingle long-term. Speaking of risky investments
paying dividends, look for UTEP's willingness to overlook Price's
past to drive the Miners' stock a little higher. UTEP by 7.

Saturday, October 15
Kansas State at Texas Tech
OK, here's where I get myself crossways with my huge KSU reader
contingent. Wildcat fans, I love you guys. You write to me more
than anyone. You're loyal and dedicated Propheteers. But, picking
this game comes down to one simple issue, namely the score. Or more
correctly, I should say the ABILITY to score. Kansas State has
difficulty scoring points. And even the most devout cat lover
would have to admit and realize that Texas Tech does not the same
weakness, which pretty much says everything. EVERY game with Tech
is a scoring contest, and KSU just isn't well equipped for such an
encounter. The Red Raiders roll on in Lubbock, Tech by 12.

Wake Forest at Boston College
A lot of folks would consider this game to be especially dangerous
for the Chestnut Hill Eagles. And yes, Wake Forest IS a tough, blue-
collar team. Sure, they have a quirky misdirectional offense
designed to drive a defensive coordinator nuts. But, they'll not
sneak quietly into Boston. Wake has defeated BC two consecutive
years, and I can assure you that they're on Tom O'Brien's radar. I
think there may be some remaining issue in Beantown regarding
potential player suspensions, resulting from last week's win over
Virginia. But regardless of who suits and/or lines up for BC,
they'll find a way to prevent a three-peat for the Demon Deacons.
Boston College by 5.

Wisconsin at Minnesota
I KNEW that Wisconsin would putz things up sooner or later. Barry
Alvarez and his Badgers have never been the type of club capable of
going undefeated. No matter how good or talented they may seem,
it's inevitable that they'll morph into mediocrity on some given
Saturday. The really funny thing about last weekend's collapse is
this...how many of YOU would have picked Wisconsin to LOSE if I'd
told you, in advance, that they'd score 48 points, and that the game
would NOT be an overtime? Then again, I guess we all forgot what an
offensive juggernaut Northwestern has become, right? Jeez,
Wisconsin may have to score 100 this week to win. Just kidding.
This is a game between two Big Ten teams that have taken a wrong
turn. Look for Barry's boys to find the way back to Big Ten success
Saturday, even on the road in Minnesota. Cheese Whizzers by 3.

Rutgers at Syracuse
Is Syracuse so bad that they could actually lose at home to
Rutgers? The mere fact that someone has to ask such a question
points out the difference between today's Big East and yesteryear's
model. As for the original question, I suppose that I really don't
know. BUT, if ANYONE is bad enough to lose at home to Rutgers, it's
the Orangemen. Rutgers by 1.

Miami at Temple
It's not just fans who get confused and shaken by all of this
conference switcheroo business. Both Miami and Temple used to be
members of the Big East. However, that all changed as the Canes cut
out and the Owls were kicked out. This is probably one of those
games where neither team worked much on finding a replacement
opponent. I think Temple should have tried harder. Miami by 30.

Oklahoma at Kansas
It's starting to seem like a long, long time since Stoopes' Troops
have won a big game on the road. But that shouldn't be an issue
this Saturday, as the contest with Kansas in no way resembles a big
game. OU may not scare everyone the way they used to, but I'll bet
they still give KU the shivers. Sooners by 10.

South Florida at Pittsburgh
Back when Miami left the Big East, Pitt figured things were about to
get a whole lot better in Pantherland. And for a year, that was
true. Pitt somehow managed to fall bass-akwards into last year's
BCS, serving up a nice, beatable opponent for BCS-busting Utah. But
no matter how the year ended, the Panthers WERE Big East champs.
This year has brought a bad Sunshine State feel of déjà vu to the
conference. It seems that there's another nasty bunch from "South
Florida" rooting around in the bowels of the Big East. Like those
renegade Burmese Pythons slithering around the Everglades, the South
Florida Bulls are already causing havoc in their new conference
home. Look for the Pitt faithful to sound a collective "not again"
moan as they look with disgust towards the state of Florida. South
Florida by 7.

Colorado State at BYU
Last weekend, Colorado State defeated the Utah Utes...which
incidentally was one of the few games I got right. In this contest,
I see no reason for Sonny Lubick's Rams to fret over a road trip to
Provo. Having already beaten the best team in Utah, I believe CSU
can handle the second or maybe third-best outfit. Rams by 10.

Oregon State at California
I just couldn't believe that Cal found a way to lose to UCLA last
weekend. Sure, it was nip and tuck for most of the day. But when
the Bears built a 10 point lead late, I figured I'd fingered the
right ursines to pick up a win. WRONG. I shouldn't be surprised,
though. California is clearly one of the most liberal universities
in America. And as we conservatives all know, liberals are all
about giving things away. For the immediate future, however, I
don't see any big political shifts occurring in Berkeley. Come
Saturday, I suspect that Cal will show some closet Republican greed
when the Beavers of Oregon State paddle into town. Let's call it
barely Bears...Cal by 4.

Washington at Oregon
It looks like Ty Willingham has made a good career choice. Unloved
and canned at Notre Dame, he's made his way to Seattle as coach of
the Washington Huskies. As for success, it's still an "in the
future" thing. Some folks say that UW won't be winning for years.
But, the good news is that one "dog year" equals seven human years.
So, maybe the good times will come sooner than anyone expects. But
for now, Ty's life is still good. He's still losing football games,
but few people seem to care. In fact, come Saturday at Autzen
Stadium, another dog day afternoon is exactly what the Duck fans
have in mind. Oregon by 14.

Georgia Tech at Duke
If Georgia Tech's kicker could make a 25-yard field goal, the
Jackets would have won last Thursday. Heck, if he could have made
one out of two 25-yard field goals, they would have won. This
weekend's trip to Durham should prove respite for Chan Gailey's
bugs. His kicker can miss all day long, and it'll just cost `em a
few extra points. Field goals are seldom an issue when you play
Duke, unless we're talking basketball. :) Georgia Tech by 28.
And a note...that guy (Chris somebody, number 21) who agreed that he
was the "best receiver in college football" during last week's ESPN
telecast? Hey, nice work on tipping that sure touchdown pass away
in the closing seconds, Mr. All Star.

Auburn at Arkansas
After stinking up the joint on opening night, Tommy Tuberville's
Auburn Tigers have shown consistent improvement. Right now, they
appear to be solidly in the hunt for the SEC West crown. On the
other side of this contest, the Arkansas Razorbacks also stunk up
their hometown(s) early in the season. In fact, they stunk up
several time zones. Unfortunately for the Piggies, the only way
they'll see this year's SEC title game will be to fix the athletic
dorm's dish antenna before December. Auburn by 17.

Army at TCU
Earlier this season, Bobby Ross and his Army Cadets impressed me
with their gut and determination, losing a close game to Iowa
State. And while I still cherish the mettle of the Army players, I
believe they'll be a little short on ammo this weekend in Fort
Worth. Look for the Horned Frogs to bring THEIR shootin' irons
fully loaded. TCU by 18.

Nebraska at Baylor
Folks in Lincoln, Nebraska just don't like Husker Coach Bill
Callahan. It probably has something to do with losing lots of
football games, while winning others in an ugly manner. But, ::I::
like Bill. Why?? Well, he's made it safe for me to pick non-
significant Nebraska games again. In the past, whenever I'd make a
choice on a "Nebraska versus Arkansas State game", folks would
accuse me of sandbagging, just for the easy "W". But now, I can
pick ANY Nebraska game. There's never a sure bet for Big Red
anymore. Hell, Maine pushed them hard, right? Well having heaped
all that verbal abuse on the Cornhuskers, I'll back away a bit with
my pick. Baylor may have won their first Big XII road game EVER
last weekend. Never mind that it took about ten years.
Unfortunately, the joy is fleeting and the home folks in Waco won't
get any satisfaction from this week's homecoming. Big Red returns
to winning, although it just might be ugly again. Cornhuskers by 14.

Georgia at Vanderbilt
Mark Richt and his Bulldogs had so much fun last weekend in
Tennessee that they've decided to return. This time, they take
their dog pounding to the Music City of Nashville. Look for this
Tennessee holiday to be as entertaining, at least for the folks at
Georgia, as the last. An undefeated Vanderbilt has become a very
distant memory. Georgia by 28.

Florida State at Virginia
It's still a couple a weeks before All Hallows Eve, but I'd suspect
FSU and Virginia have given it more than a passing thought. It
always seems that the Seminole-Wahoo clash comes around at Great
Pumpkin time, and the contest often involves trickery and witchcraft
for both teams. Everyone in garnet and gold knows that FSU's long
undefeated streak in ACC play ended on a Charlottesville Halloween
night back in 1995. And last year, the Seminoles certainly cast a
Tallahassee spell on what Virginia felt was a BCS-contending team.
I guess I'm just saying that Saturday could bring some early tricks
and treats for the ESPN viewing audience. And although things might
be mighty scary, I think the visiting Seminoles will escape with
enough candy to stay among the undefeated ranks. FSU by 7.

Alabama at Mississippi
Normally, a road trip to Ole Miss following a huge home victory
would signal danger ahead for the Crimson Tide. But seeing as how
the Rebels are completely out of Mannings, I think Shula's crew can
breathe a little easier. The Tide continues to roll, call it
Alabama by 17.

Louisville at West Virginia
This is an important battle in the quest to become the BCS' version
of a short straw. Short straw? I'm just guessing that none of the
major bowls is real damned excited about taking ANY team from the
Big East, at least this year. An unbeaten Louisville might have had
some appeal, but South Florida whizzed in that creek a couple of
weeks ago. On the same weekend, West Virginia absorbed a solid home
beating at the hands of Virginia Tech. Bottom line is
this...SOMEBODY is going to win the Big East, thus becoming the
proverbial short straw for the BCS. Straws mean different things in
Morganton and Louisville. For the Kentuckians, straws go into mint
juleps. For the Mountaineers, straws go between your teeth,
assuming you have a few. So therefore, let's look into an upset for
this game. I see West Virginia putting the bite on the visiting
redbirds. Call it a close one, something like WVU by 2.

Penn State at Michigan
Did you see that "Paternoville" thing going on last Saturday in
State College? It looked like half the PSU student body took the
week off to await tickets for the game against Ohio State. And
that "white out" thing was pretty shocking, too. When it was all
over, the NCAA's second-winningnest and second-oldest coach sprang
back into the national championship picture. But true to his
coaching nature, ol' JoPa was, at the end of last week's game,
already fretting about the trip to Ann Arbor. Joe's been around the
block enough times to realize the struggle involved with winning at
Michigan. But, based on what I've seen on TV lately, these two
teams are headed in opposite directions. There may be 100,000 fans
plus in the Big House, but they'll do more grumbling than cheering
before this one ends. It might stay close for a while, but the
Lions should stay undefeated. Penn State by 9.

Michigan State at Ohio State
This mid-October showdown in Columbus features two suddenly-
desperate Big Ten teams trying to stay near the top of the
conference ladder. Ohio State lost another close heart-breaker last
Saturday in Unhappy Valley. Surely, the Bucks will be somewhat down
emotionally as they defend the home turf against the Spartans. This
week will absolutely bring new and different challenges. Compared
to last week's opponent, Michigan State will have MORE offense and
LESS defense. There certainly will be no issue involving hundreds
of thousands of crazed people standing in the Pennsylvania rain
wearing white t-shirts. And whereas the Nittany Lions were fired up
in a positive way, MSU will be dangerous more from a "backed into a
corner" standpoint. Michigan State looked unbeatable a few weeks
ago, and suddenly they're in a must-win-to-save-the season game.
Let's just say that the big horseshoe is a bad place to be cornered
and desperate. Changing up their 2005 modus operandi, look for the
Buckeyes to WIN a close one this week. Ohio State by 6.

Colorado at Texas
After Texas defeated Oklahoma last weekend, most talking heads
agreed that the Longhorns' remaining schedule would be "downhill" to
Pasadena, and I agree to some extent. At this point, having
defeated Ohio State and Oklahoma, Mack Brown's cattle would seem
destined to stampede in the Rose parade. But, it's important to
remember that when climbing a mountain, the downhill slide is often
THE most dangerous part of the trip. And that'll be evident in this
contest, at least to an early degree. Yes, Texas may stumble a bit,
and they may take a tumble or two. But nothing's gonna get broken,
and I see the Horns limping away with another Big XII win. Texas by
10.

Florida at LSU
It seems as though the Florida Gators have had to re-assess their
travel plans for this game. They routinely stay at the Holiday Inn
in Gonzalez, Louisiana. (I bet they had to dig way down on
Priceline for that dump, huh?). But, the nation's innkeeper has
informed UF that they cannot honor previous reservations because of
hurricane evacuees being housed at the hotel. So, the Gators have
to split their team between two other establishments. Hey, speaking
of evacuees, Urban Meyer had best have an emergency "get out of
town" plan in place if he even thinks about bringing home another
embarrassing SEC defeat. A sloppy win over Mississippi State last
weekend did little to salve Gator fans' attitude about the October
1st massacre in Tuscaloosa. As for this game, I'll preface with
exactly what I said before the Alabama game. I think Florida has a
better group of players...more speed, more depth, etc. But having
said that, I now say this...LSU's Tiger Stadium on a Saturday night
makes Alabama's Bryant-Denny stadium seem like a quiet vacation in
Puerto Vallarta. You'd better review that evacuation plan, Urban.
LSU by 7.

USC at Notre Dame
I read where former USC coach John Robinson said he was going
to "buy a red sweater and a ticket to this game", just for the
experience of it all. Now, I've been to a game at Notre Dame
Stadium. The seats are numbered in such a way as befitted the
1930s, not the twenty-first century. I guess I'm just suggesting
that the less-than-svelte John Robinson might need to buy TWO
tickets to this game, if he'd like to be comfortable in his seat
(s). Speaking of taking up space, the Irish have taken more than
their share of wins over USC in South Bend. But regardless of how
many tickets John Robinson is forced to buy, I think it'll be worth
every penny to see the Trojans win another big game. USC by 14.

= = = = = = = =
All right, folks. That's your weekly load of rubbish. Enjoy! -
Prophet T I F