< < ============================================ > >

THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
Fool's Paradise for Internet College Football Fans

© 2005 P.Chamlis/
The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved

< < ============================================ > >
Games of September 22 – 24, 2005

Well, I had another rough week. But considering some of the
weirdness going on in college football, I should be happy with my 47
out of 61 record (77%) so far.

I'm in the mood to send out roses today, so let's give special
bouquets to the following...

Florida, for making me look good in the face of lots of pre-game
Tennessee smack after I published last week's edition.

Alabama who, in spite of beating me in Prophet, made fools of Steve
Spurrier in front of his new flock in Columbia. Bad for Steve
usually equals good for Prophet. :)

And, let's send a dozen red ones to the love of my life, good old
Florida State. They somehow found a way to win up in Boston in
spite of another statistically disastrous offensive game.

All right, let's see what foolishness we can dig up for this week!

= = = = = = = = = = =

Thursday, September 22
Air Force at Utah
Much to the Prophet's chagrin, the Utes let schizophrenic TCU snap
the nation's second-longest Division 1 winning streak last week in
Fort Worth. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk, I suppose.
It's just time to start another streak. Step one would be to beat
the Falcons from the USAFA, who've been on a bit of a losing streak
themselves. So that means that old streaks continue and new streaks
begin Thursday in SLC. Utah by 7.

Louisiana Monroe at Florida Atlantic
Here's a game between two schools affected by Hurricane Katrina.
The evil K-storm brushed the campus of FAU on its way across the
Florida peninsula. And of course, we all know what happened in
Louisiana. So, while the game's being played, I'd suspect these
players and coaches may compare a few hurricane notes amongst
themselves. FWIW, tipsy FAU coach Howard Schnellenberger prefers
HIS hurricanes with two straws and a paper umbrella. Florida
Atlantic by 3.

Friday, September 23
Iowa State at Army
More storm talk, folks... Two weeks ago, the Cyclones of Iowa State
blew the mighty Hawkeyes of Iowa from a lofty national perch with an
upset drubbing in Ames. This week will offer another opportunity to
slap an opponent. However, the `Clones won't have to climb any
pedestals to get to the gridiron-deficient Black Knights. The let-
down opportunity exists, especially with crafty old Coach Bobby Ross
prowling the Academy sideline. But, I just don't see it happening,
folks. Iowa State by 10.

California at New Mexico State
I was watching some Cal Bear highlights on TV last weekend, and one
of the shows said something about a running back who came from "a
tough part of the Bay Area". I laughed a bit, trying to decide what
would be considered a "tough" area in mellow NoCal. It's probably
some place that only has one brand of mineral water in the
convenience stores. Speaking of water, Cal had best bring a bunch
on this trip to arid Las Cruces. Aggie coach Hal Mumme will
eventually get things moving at NMSU, hopefully without the NCAA
fallout that got him canned in Kentucky. But on Friday night, look
for the Bears and their tough-neighborhood running back to do the
roaring. California by 16.

Saturday, September 24
Iowa at Ohio State
Only two weeks ago, Ohio State and Iowa were on top of college
football world. Both clubs were highly rated, dreaming about the
BCS and harboring national title thoughts. Enter Texas and Iowa
State, and voila...two once-beaten teams. If not for the conference
race implications, I'd say the loser of this game gets a head start
on basketball season. Then again, not too many future Big Ten
champs have two defeats before the end of September, conference or
not. Ohio State by 4.

Purdue at Minnesota
The Golden Gophers have quietly been racking up wins in the early
season. Sure, they've yet to play a team with a pulse, but
still...they've looked good. PU's Boilermakers are chugging towards
the top ten elite, and figure that they'll be a major factor in the
Big Ten race this year. But, for some reason, I smell an upset in
the Humpty Dumpty Dome come Saturday. It's not that I REALLY
believe Minnesota is THAT good. I suppose it's more a case of
doubting Purdue. Going underground for an upset, call it Go-Go
Gophers by 2.

Colorado at Miami
If you're the type of person who misses Mike Tyson fights, you might
want to tune in to this one. Several years ago, UM and CU had a
huge brouhaha before a contest in Boulder. And two years ago, I
witnessed a nasty little confrontation between Colorado and my FSU
Seminoles here in Tallahassee. And Miami players getting into an on-
field fight is as common as Comcast showing up late to install your
new cable box. Bottom line is that these are two teams that like to
mix it up. So, get a few beers and tune in for the fight. Let's
call in Miami by TKO. Hurricanes by 21.

Michigan State at Illinois
I read where the NCAA has now made a big and blustery announcement
about how, starting in 2006, that bowl games cannot have "Indian
mascot and offensive native American practice and emblems" present.
HOWEVER, most teams that were originally covered by the NCAA's
quixotic charge into political correctness have since appealed and
won. In Division 1-A, only Illinois remains on the poop list. And
I figure the Illini will eventually figure a way to keep their name
as well. It's as inevitable as a French surrender. As for this
game, I like the Spartans. However, I'd feel better if Ron Zook
could convince the Fighting Illini to change their nickname to "The
Fighting Irish". That seems to bring out the best in Michigan
State. MSU by 11.

Troy at South Carolina
After last weekend's dismal loss to Alabama, Coach Steve Spurrier
agreed with the Columbia fans who chose to boo his Gamecocks. And,
Stevie has said that he plans to really shake up his lineup on
Saturday, giving all sorts of different players an opportunity to
play, citing a lack of effort on the part of his team. It's all
part of the motivation process. And, it works...people are already
being motivated to hate Spurrier as vehemently as they did during
his years at Florida. South Carolina, regardless of which 22 guys
play, by 14.

North Carolina at N.C. State
The annual battle for football supremacy in North Carolina features
two head coaches who are absolute opposites. Chuck Amato of NC
State is flashy, emotional and possesses "star quality". If he
didn't sound like Minnie Mouse, he could have been an Italian movie
star. John Bunting of UNC is Mr. Average. He's a football coach,
plain and simple. Block and tackle. If this guy were a can of
corn, he'd be the store brand. And, you'd never catch him dead in a
pair of those freaky sunglasses that NC State head man Amato always
wears. Then again, after his Heels succumb in Raleigh, John might
appreciate the anonymity a good pair of shades would offer.
Wolfpack by 10.

Boston College at Clemson
The 2005 season is starting to seem like Thanksgiving Dinner for
Clemson Coach Tommy Bowden. It's not that he's eating up turkey or
anything, it's just that he keeps getting his daddy's leftovers.
Last weekend, Clemson hosted a pissed off bunch of Miami Hurricanes,
still smarting over a loss to Pa Bowden's club. And this week's
Tiger opponent just got finished losing to, you guessed it, Tommy's
dad. Clemson fans COULD hope that Dad is softening up folks for
Tommy, but the opposite appears to be happening. Bobby's
gettin' `em mad just in time for the Tigers. Boston College by 3.

East Carolina at West Virginia
A lot of folks are hoping that new Pirate coach Skip Holtz proves
that "you CAN win at East Carolina". Well, we'll see... So far,
all that Skipper's proved is that he couldn't hold a job at South
Carolina, even with his dad being head coach. (Note to Jeff
Bowden...not every father is as forgiving as yours, son. Be sure to
get Bobby something nice for Christmas.) Look for Rich Rodriguez
and his Mountain men to throw ECU overboard in Morganton this
Saturday. West Virginia by 9.

TCU at BYU
The folks in Provo were very, very happy last week, as they
celebrated TCU's victory over rival Utah. But as soon as that upset
was done, the BYU frat houses went to work taking down their Horned
Frog bunting and such. Speaking of frat houses, I have a hard time
imagining frat houses at BYU. I'll bet there are Cub Scout troops
that do more partying. Look for Bronco Mendenhall's party to end
early on Saturday as Gary Patterson and the formerly-popular-in-
Provo Horny Toads clip the Cougars. TCU by 7.

Florida at Kentucky
Well as Prophet predicted, Urbie Meyer won his first big game at
Florida. The Tennessee game last weekend went pretty much as I'd
expected, although there were fewer points all around than I
guessed. Urbie made some comment about "defining moments" last
weekend, and I took him to task for failing to recognize one. THIS
game COULD be a defining moment. Losing on the road to a conference
bottom-feeder isn't looked upon kindly in Gainesville. I wonder if
Ron Zook remembers a trip to Starkville, Mississippi last year.
But, Florida keeps winning. It might be closer than you'd expect,
call it Gators by 12.

Notre Dame at Washington
Well considering the overtones involved in Notre Dame's visit to
play a team coached by their recently fired coach Ty Willingham, I
honestly don't know what expect on Saturday. One thing's for
sure...nobody on THIS field knows how to beat Michigan State.
Fighting Irish by 14.

Arkansas at Alabama
I have to give Mike Shula credit for last weekend's win at South
Carolina. I don't think little Shula is that great of a coach, but
he sure recognized that the Gamecocks had no idea how to stop a
running game. As for Mikey's abilities to recognize, I gotta take
issue with his quote for this game. He called Arkansas "the best
team we've played this year". Now, while that MAY be true (and ha
ha to Steve Spurrier if it is...), let's just remember that the
Razorbacks (a) lost to Vanderbilt a couple of weeks ago, and then
succumbed to Southern California by 53 points last Saturday. Not
exactly top ten material, I'd say. Perhaps Coach Mike was confused
and thought this week's game was against Florida. That's next week,
coach. This week brings another reasonably easy win. Or, more
correctly, it BETTER be another reasonably easy win, considering the
competition. Alabama by 14.

USC at Oregon
Although it was a close contest, I was still impressed with Oregon's
win last Saturday. Fresno State is a dangerous team, especially
early in the year. Pulling out such a gut win, especially with USC
on the horizon, is manly stuff indeed. But in retrospect, it might
have been a better plan to tank against FSU West. NOW, Oregon's
given Pete Carroll enough credibility to suggest a bit of danger to
his Trojans. And, that's all it'll take to insure no upset occurs.
USC by 24.

Tulane at SMU
Right after Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana, the Tulane football
program moved to and trained at SMU's Dallas facilities. This
weekend, we'll learn if the Wave was smart enough to pilfer through
the Mustang playbook. Checking over the average SAT scores at
Tulane, it looks like they've got pretty high academic standards.
Let's assume a few Greenies did that James Bond thing in Big-D.
Tulane by 2.

Arizona State at Oregon State
Last weekend, Oregon State really got the crap kicked out of them
against Louisville. And if this game were being played down in
Tempe, I'd say that ASU would remove any remaining crap from the
Beaver team in short order. But, like a carsick kid, the Devils
don't seem to travel well. So, look for this one to maybe be closer
than you'd expect. Arizona State by 7.

Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech
Georgia Tech has a very serious problem this Saturday, and it
started over a week ago. Wunderkind quarterback Reggie Ball has
just gotten over viral meningitis (VM). Going into a contest
against high-flying VaTech, Yellowjacket coach Chan Gailey didn't
expect another problem with the letters "V" and "M", but by God
there it is, a pestilence called Marcus Vick. Look for MV and the
after-effects of VM to result in a continued period of convalescence
for Reggie Ball and company. Hokies by 14.

Michigan at Wisconsin
Before the season started, both Wisconsin and Michigan were highly-
regarded. But IMHO, both teams have been outed as "paper tigers".
The Wolverines looked pitiful in losing (once again) to Notre Dame.
And even though they won, Wisconsin was the very picture of
mediocrity in the contest against North Carolina. Even though the
Badgers remained undefeated, they failed to impress the pollsters.
So, this early conference tilt is for national survival. Look for
the hometown advantage in Madison to make the difference. Losing
for the second time in September, Michigan falls to Barry Alvarez
and Wisconsin. Call it by 4.

Tennessee at LSU
Two games into the season, and I'm pretty much convinced that
Tennessee is a fraud. I'm staring at an Athlon magazine right now
that predicted Tennessee would finish second in the country. How
would you like to be the nitwit who penned that atrocity? In two
games, Phul Fillmer and company have posted a close win over UAB and
a punchless visit to Florida. And now, they travel to Baton Rouge
to face LSU in what will be an emotional Tiger Stadium opener for
2005. Folks in Louisiana know a thing or two about "knockout
punches", thanks to Hurricane Katrina. Look for the eye of this
Saturday Tiger storm to wash away any big hopes Tennessee had for
this season. Bayou Bengals by 7.