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THE PROPHET SPEAKS SIY

College Football's's Place for Foolishness on the Internet

© 2004 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at

http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks
http://www.squeakytoy.com

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2004 SEASON

....is not worth mentioning at this point, especially after Black
Thursday (12/30). I hope you guys still love me. :^/

So, let's just say
Happy New Year to all of you, and here's to a year where I have not
yet missed a game. :^)

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Saturday, January 1, 2005
The Outback Bowl
Georgia vs Wisconsin
Mark Richt had hoped his Bulldogs could win "best in show" for 2004
college football. But they got muzzled on a couple of occasions, and
didn't find themselves far enough south on New Year's Day to win a
title. Speaking of Dogs, southern canines are found of chasing
small, furry animals into holes, and then diggin' `em out. I suppose
that a Badger would qualify as a small, furry animal, but they have a
nasty, nasty disposition. Something tells me that digging one of
Barry's Rats out of a hole on New Year's Day wouldn't be a good
idea. Sliding back into real football talk, David White and the
Georgia Bulldogs are, at times, an excellent football team. However,
recent New Year's games have been very, very good to the almost
unexplainable Wisconsin Badgers. Although I really can't tell you
why or how it will happen, I see UW digging themselves another bowl
win out of a hole in Tampa. Wisconsin by 1.

The Cotton Bowl
Tennessee vs Texas A&M
If the Vols and Aggies were high school students, they'd have
identical report cards. "Shows great promise" and "could someday
amount to something special" might be comments made by their
instructors. However, those dreaded "needs improvement" and "is
capable of so much more" boxes might also be checked for both clubs.
This year's Cotton Bowl features two pretty decent teams famous,
unfortunately in recent history, for underachieving. However, I've
seen a few signs of change down in College Station, and I believe
that A&M might be ready to move to the head of the class this
Saturday in Dallas. Aggies by 4.

The Gator Bowl
Florida State vs West Virginia
This pick is going to be short and sweet. As a Florida State fan, I
find the pitiful job of coaching being done by the Bowden staff to be
anything but funny. Many of we Seminole alums are praying, to
anything resembling God, that Jeff Bowden finds employment elsewhere
in 2005. But recent articles in our local Tallahassee Democrat say
that Jeff Bowden "isn't going anywhere". That can only mean that
Florida State isn't going anywhere anytime soon either. So, I
suppose we'd best get happy with (hopefully) top-twenty-five finishes
and appearances in tier-three bowl games. As for this year's Gator
Bowl, I am reminded that FSU has never lost in five Jacksonville
appearances. I do realize that Jeff Bowden is certainly a bad enough
influence to break that streak, but something tells me he won't.
Before you make any money wagers, be advised that it could be my New
Year's champagne talking, though..... Here's hoping that I have no
hangover tomorrow after this game. I'm gonna say Florida State by 3,
and then I'll truly be expecting almost anything. Fire Jeff Bowden!

The Capital One Bowl
LSU vs Iowa
The brass in Baton Rouge had to know that something was going to
happen, with regard to coach Nick Saban, when he requested a one-way
plane ticket to Florida. For some indiscernible reason, Nick has
agreed to coach the woeful Miami Dolphins starting next fall.
Perhaps it was the twenty million dollars? Anyway, Nick's swan song
will play in Orlando Saturday, as his Tigers square off against an
old foe from the Big Ten, Kirk Ferenze's Iowa Hawkeyes. Nick didn't
have the greatest success against the Hawks back when he was at
Michigan State, and Saturday may not offer any respite in his last
college game. Iowa may only RESEMBLE the Pittsburgh Steelers because
of their uniforms. But on Saturday, they'll do what the NFL black
and gold has done all year, save once. Win. Iowa by 3.

The Rose Bowl
Michigan vs Texas
OK, Thursday's Holiday Bowl may have suggested or even proved that
California did NOT belong in the Rose Bowl. But, that doesn't
necessarily mean that Texas did. From where I sat, Texas Tech looked
pretty tough. : ) OK, just kidding...I know the Longhorns drilled the
Raiders, as Mack Brown and company accidently won a big game. Many
Californians are aghast that the Rose Bowl is NOT Pac Ten against the
Big Ten, as it is not their TRADITION. I humbly suggest that change
is sometimes good. Texas and Michigan are two of college football's
elite programs, and yet they've never met. Why can't the Rose Bowl
be proud to be the place that they finally hook up? Look for Texas
to make this a memorable trip west for their fans and
administration. And by the way, I see where Mack got a big raise
recently. Maybe losing every damned year to Oklahoma isn't that bad
after all. Longhorns by 6.

The Fiesta Bowl
Pittsburgh vs Utah
The Utes from Salt Lake City are the official "BCS Buster" team.
Utah is the first club from outside the BCS to circumvent the
Byzantine rules and regulations specifically designed to keep the
unwanteds out of the major bowls, so kudos to lame-duck coach Urban
Meyer and company. Speaking of "busting", Utah's season has probably
helped bust open a few wallets down in Gainesville, Florida, too.
Utah's Fiesta opponents, the Pittsburgh Panthers are also losing
their head coach. Walt Harris has signed on to coach at Stanford
next year. That means that neither team will have a leg up or down
on the "coach's last game" emotion. The Panthers ended up winning
the Big East, almost by default. At times, the conference race back
east seemed like drawing straws, and the Panthers got the short one.
Many would question Pitt's true BCS credentials, whatever that
means. It is generally expected that Utah should prevail, especially
in the dry desert climate of Tempe. However, don't be surprised if
the undermanned Panthers return a more than a little fire. Pitt may
win a few battles, but they'll eventually lose this war. "Urban
warfare" prevails once more, Utah by 7.

Monday, January 3
The Sugar Bowl
Virginia Tech vs Auburn
If you want my opinion, I'll give it to you. Even if you don't,
you've chosen to read my rag, so here it comes. One of you out there
has actually, in writing, called me the most brilliant man ever.
Auburn IS the best football team in America. They should have an
opportunity to play for the national title. I believe the Tigers
could play with and defeat either USC or Oklahoma. That being said,
I'll also remind you that Virginia Tech is not chopped liver. They
basically had USC beat in the opener. They beat the University of
Miami in south Florida. They easily handled Virginia. They're
good....maybe not as good as Auburn, but still damned tough. And,
they're very, very happy to be playing in New Orleans. Auburn, in
spite of their protests, is not and that equals an upset. Even the
best team in the country can lose if not properly motivated, and it
happens on Monday night. How does the BCS keep getting away with
it? Virginia Tech by 3.

Tuesday, January 4
The Orange Bowl
Oklahoma vs USC
Even Steven. What a matchup. Oklahoma and USC come into Miami
almost mirror images of each other. Pete Carroll and Bob Stoopes are
(among) the finest college football coaches. Memo to Bob...keep
working a little on that humility thing, dude. And memo to
Pete....buy a comb, man. The Trojans and Sooners both have more
speed than a Tijuana weight-loss clinic, and more dangerous offensive
weapons than Pakistan and India combined. Hell, has there EVER been
a bowl game featuring two Heisman Trophy winners playing against each
other? Other than that kid from Utah, the entire invited party from
the Heisman ceremony suits up Tuesday in Miami. On the surface, this
game couldn't be more even. Breaks will certainly, as is always the
case, make or add to the difference. But intangibles and fate can be
impossible to predict. Looking very carefully, I only see one thing
that's amiss on either side, and that involves USC running back
Lendell White. His high ankle sprain might be just the edge that OU
needs to win their lucky 13th Orange Bowl and yet another national
title. And Freddie....just remember, me picking against USC isn't a
bad thing. Look at my freakin' record, man. Sooners finish number
one, call it OU by 3.

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Let me close by thanking all of you for reading and writing to me
this year. I've enjoyed another year of sharing my insane vision
with college football fans all across the country. I've even met a
few of you this year, and it was my sincere pleasure. All in all,
2004 was personally a never-to-be-forgotten year for me.

Every year at this time, I always think that I've just about had it
with writing Prophet. It DOES become a grind. But I learned
something important this year, and it's that I'll be here forever.
I'm not going anywhere. : )

Prophet