With only 9 of a potential 15 voters piping up this week, the Stats Machine
Double Grand
was in a tizzy. Working through the most complicated arithmetic known to...
well, I can't
say 'man', I'll go with 'this man'... the hung-over and under-funded master of
statisticology has churned out a list of winners.

Stars:

First - an unbreakable tie between the two pillars of the Celts FC. Every
tie-breaking
scenario fell short and not even a message from the mother of one of the
nominees could
resolve the situation. So, for the first time the award is shared between Lar
and Mic with a
combined 50% of the first star votes.

Second - Because Mic or Lar would have been the second star had there not been a
tie;
there is no award this week.

Third - Again... a tie. It should not come as a surprise that the captain and
keeper of the
magnificent Celts received the next most votes. The shock, and possibly the
most
amazing occurrence in the history of physics, came when a coin toss could not
bring about
a solution. With the official Stats 2K 1NT coin flipping though the air with
purpose and
determination, the unimaginable happened. The coin fell to the floor and rolled
under a
couch. I can't be sure, but I would guess that it is still on edge. So with
10% of the votes
each, Jay and Goalie Dave are your Third Stars.

Donkey:

Yet another tie. Kev (44%) and Steve (44%) will share the award but will sleep
well knowing
it is a runaway train. Get well soon, Morgan.

Highlight:

The only unanimous poll of the week...Mic's goal. A whopping 66% were firmly
behind
Mic's crack. The other 34% don't get it.

Low light:

Their goal stopped us from winning in front of our ladies.