Yah... I have one name for you:
Sam Wilson
for the first three definitions at least.

--- In teamalameda@yahoogroups.com, "adisalvo2000" <adisalvo@c...> wrote:
>
> You may find some of these to be familiar:
>
> Cycling Terminology Primer:
>
> "I'm out of shape." Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't
> missed
> a day since the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more
> often
> than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your
> mortgage rate.
>
> "I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape"
> Translation: I
> will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and
> whimpering. I
> will win the line sprint if I have to force you into oncoming
> traffic. I
> will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat post, and
> spray
> energy drink in your eyes.
>
> "I'm on my beater bike" Translation: I had this baby custom-made in
> Tuscany
> using Titanium blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it
> disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.
>
> "It's not that hilly" Translation: This climb lasts longer than a
> presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep sections or you'll
> fall over
> -- backward. You have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee
> surgeon.
>
> "This is a no-drop ride" Translation: I'll need an article of your
> clothing
> for the search-and-rescue dogs.
>
>
> See you on Saturday
>
> Anthony
>