We had an excellent knife work class today at Fighthouse. (Edgar just
keeps getting better and better; he's a gifted teacher :) ) The group
was the usual mix - about half beginners, the other half 'veterans'
and intermediates. While working on the disarms, I noticed a clear
difference between my psychology and emotions during a successful
disarm versus one that I just barely managed. In particular, I was
focussing on the disarms in which the knife drops to the floor
(rather than disarming and taking the blade, or redirecting it into
my partner's body.) I began to attune myself to the feeling of a
successful disarm, and to notice how that feeling differs from a more
haphazard disarm, as well as from the more inexperienced students'
disarms. The difference is confidence. This comes from practice, of
course, as biomechanics are so important in getting your partner to
drop the knife. Some beginners were quite good at securing the knife-
wielding arm and locking me up so I couldn't move, but they had some
trouble making me let go - they tried swinging the arm wildly in all
directions, or just wrenching it out of my hand, or any number of
techniques which, while they may eventually succeed, take far longer
and are much less certain than the tactics I learned from Edgar (e.g.
locking the elbow, shoulder, or wrist, etc. ). And I realized that
the students themselves are unsure that they will succeed. I can
actually see the uncertainty in the expression on their faces. That's
perfectly natural for people just starting out with Systema. It
really takes a few hundred successful disarms before your mind
accepts that yes, that works. Having the benefit of more training, I
also have the experience of having 'proved' to myself that what I do
works, in addition to the more mechanical knowledge of biomechanics
and of course, familiarity with the movements. But the mental state
is just as important.

So, I noticed the difference with some disarms, during which I knew
what would happen as a result of the pressure I applied to my
partner's joints in order to make him drop the knife. Not only did I
know that the knife would fall, but I also knew where it would land
on the floor, so that I could trap it with my foot (I do this to
foster my awareness of where the knife is, even after partner's
dropped it, I still think it's a good idea to maintain the
awareness). The less successful disarms, I didn't doubt that I'd
disarm my partner, but wasn't quite so sure how or when that would
happen... it was more like I was just turning his arm this way and
that, until I saw an opportunity, but the knife would often clatter
away and I'd have no idea where it landed.

I thought this was interesting - the difference in my state of mind
between responding to the knife thrust or stab, and working with it
on a more accepting level. There's nothing wrong with responding -
especially when taken by surprise, response is good. It's just that
when I respond in the context of Systema practice, I am first waiting
for something to happen. Being more 'in the moment' means no waiting -
the lines are blurred between stimulus and response, and I'm just
moving naturally in whatever environment I happen to find myself -
even if that's being attacked.

It's hard to put into words; I hope I don't come across too
philosophical or New Age-y. But even though I describe this feeling
as 'natural,' I would not move this way without all the many hours of
training, some of which included techniques, drilling, and even
memorization to learn joint locks and effective disarms. The freedom
of movement is natural, but the confidence comes from familiarity
with the situations, and there's no shortcut to that - just keep
training, is my parting advice, and you will succeed beyond your
expectations.

*Vsego nailuchshego* (best wishes),
Rachel