How to tell if you're a squid:
If you trailered your bike to Daytona for Bike Week, and you live in
Orlando.
If you think Valentino Rossi is an Italian red wine.
If you think "Deals Gap" is a trendy, discount clothing store.
If the amount of money you've spent on chrome or Carbon Fiber is more than
your odometer reading.
If your Sunglasses cost more than your Helmet.
If you've ever uttered the phrase "If an American company started building
Sportbikes, I'd buy one." (Caution: saying this in the presence of a Buell
rider could earn you a black eye.)
If you've never seen Faster or On Any Sunday.
If your helmet spends more time on your passenger saddle then on your head.
If you wear a T-shirt, jean shorts, and flip-flops when you ride because
you "...don't plan on getting in an accident anyway."
If your first bike was a Ducati.
If you install a Micron pipe on your bike and figure that's good for
another 10-12mph on the top end.
If you've never ridden in the rain.
If you remove the mirrors from your street bike to make it more aerodynamic.
If you think Mick Doohan is the name of "that Crocodile Hunter".
If you've ever traded in your sportbike for a jetski or snowmobile.
If you loved the movie Biker Boyz because it was "so realistic!"
If you've replaced the back tire on your bike three times and the original
front tire still looks brand new.
If you honestly believe you were going 180mph on your '92 CBR600 because
you "had the speedometer buried".
If the longest trip you've ever taken on your bike was to your girlfriend's
house across town.
If you've ever used a belt sander on your footpegs to give the impression
that they touch the road when you take corners.
If you've ever purchased a bike strictly because you read about it in Cycle
World magazine.
If you actually believe that a slightly modified RC-51 will do 202mph.
If you spent weeks doing exhaustive research before deciding to buy the R1
instead of the ZX10, but you still haven't taken the time to get your
motorcycle license.
And last but not least ..
If you're standing around listening to a group of motorcyclists talk about
"the King" and you think to yourself "I didn't know Elvis raced
motorcycles."

Signs That You're NOT a Squid.

If you rode your bike to Daytona for Bike Week, and you live in California.
If you've ever attended the Isle of Mann TT. (Note: you get quadruple
points if you've ever ridden in it.)* Next Year
If you get your knee down riding to the store for a loaf of bread.
If you think Steve McQueen was a motorcycle racer who "...did a little
acting on the side."
If you've been to over a dozen track days and still never gotten your bike
up to it's top speed.
If you own a motorcycle...in Alaska.
If you've ever had to replace the knee pucks on your leathers.
If you named your kids Valentino, Rainey, Ago, and Hailwood.
If you've ever seen a Joey Dunlop interview...and you understood every word
that came out of his mouth.
If your sportbike has some of it's plastic missing and you ride it anyway.
If you've ever ridden a motorcycle with a broken leg.
If you've ever asked Earl Hayden to adopt you.
If Dave Despain has you on his speed dial.
If the smell of leathers gives you a chubby.
If you can tell which brand of tires a bike has on it without reading the
sidewalls.
If you know where every motorcycle dealership within a 100 mile radius is,
but you can't locate the nearest grocery store.
If your bike has an alarm system, but your car doesn't.
If you own a copy of Faster or On Any Sunday.
If the parts guy at your local dealership delivers to your house.
If you've ever ridden a motorcycle to a funeral.
If you find yourself adjusting the suspension settings on your bike because
the road you're on changed from concrete to asphalt. * Still not right
"Damm"
If your wife asks you how your ride was and out of habit you say "It was
great. I'd like to thank my crew, HRC, Dunlop Tires, Joe Rocket
leathers..."


Johnny B. (the other one) ®
Butler's Rest Home - "No Vacancy"

"We discriminate against stupid and we have no intention of stopping."
- Sean Clarke

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