<Radio Announcer> That was episode two of "The Death of Mary, Queen
of Scots", adapted radio by Bernard Hollowood and Brian London. And
now, Radio 4 will explode.(The radio explodes Two old women are
sitting on the couch listening to the radio when it explodes. One
looks at the other.)

<First Old Women> We'll have to watch the telly then.

<Second Old Women> Yes.

<First Old Women> Well, what's on the television then?

<Second Old Women> It looks like a penguin.

(On the TV set there is indeed a penguin. It sits contentedly looking
at them in a stuffed sort of way. There is nothing on the screen.)

<First Old Women> No, no, no, I didn't mean what was on the
television set, I meant what programme?

<Second Old Women> Oh.

(The Second Old Women goes to the TV, switches it on and returns to
her chair. The set takes a long time to warm up and produce a
picture. During this pause the following conversation takes place.)

<Second Old Women> It's funny that penguin being there, innit? What's
it doing there?

<First Old Women> Standing.

<Second Old Women> I can see that!

<First Old Women> If it lays an egg it will fall down the back of the
Television set.

<Second Old Women> We'll have to watch that. (pause) Unless it's a
male.

<First Old Women> Ooh, I never thought of that.

<Second Old Women> Yes, looks fairly butch.

<First Old Women> Perhaps it comes from next door.

<Second Old Women> Penguins don't come from next door, they come from
the Antarctic.

<First Old Women> BURMA! (sound of tea spoon being dropped into tea
cup)

<Second Old Women> Why did you say Burma?

<First Old Women> I panicked.

<Second Old Women> Oh. Perhaps it's from the Zoo.

<First Old Women> Which zoo?

<Second Old Women> How should I know which Zoo? I'm not Dr. Bloody
Bronowski!!

<First Old Women> How does Dr. Bronowski know which zoo it came from?

<Second Old Women> He knows everything!

<First Old Women> Oh, I wouldn't like that, it would take the mystery
out of life. Anyway if it was from the zoo it would have 'Property of
the Zoo' stamped on it!

<Second Old Women> No it wouldn't, They don't stamp animals 'Property
of the Zoo'!!! You couldn't stamp a huge lion.

<First Old Women> They stamp them when they're small.

<Second Old Women> What happens when they moult?

<First Old Women> Lions don't moult!

<Second Old Women> No, but penguins do. There, I've run rings around
you logically.

(On the TV screen there now appears an announcer)

<TV Announcer> Hello. It's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the
penguin on top of your television set to explode.

(The penguin on top of the set now explodes.)

<First Old Women> How did he know that was going to happen?!

<TV Announcer> It was an inspired guess. And now ... Coming to you
live from beautiful downtown Pomona, It's Thursday Night Fencing
(View of Big Blue from the Goodyear blimp is on the telly)

<Al Michaels> Welcome to the kickoff of Thursday Night Fencing,
tonight's match ups should prove most interesting.

<John Madden> Al, you know, I know all about Fencing, you have your
barbwire, picket, chain link, ...

(TV Cut away shot to a close up of Hank Williams Jr face>

<Hank Williams Jr> Are you ready for some Fencing?!

(Camera zooms out to reveal a dance group of females dressed in
cheerleader uniforms standing behind Hank Williams Jr. Everyone goes
into a Stomp Dance, Hank Williams start to sing)

(sung to the tune of "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight")

Well it's Thursday night and we're ready to rock!
Time to get all the hits, the parries and the blocks.
It's the game of the week that's comin' your way.
The Stockton admin and Paul gave us the ok to play.
We gotta get ready, we gotta get right
Cause Thursday Night Fencing kicks off tonight!

So get ready. I mean, get ready.
Are you ready for some Fencing?! A Thursday night party!

We've got Tim and Bruce.
They're gonna get it kick started.
The old regulars are all here. The crowd is psyched.
Cause all my rowdy friends are back on Thursday Night!

<John Madden> ... split rail, cyclone, ......

<Al Michaels> We'll be back with the first match up, right after
these important announcements

----------------------------------------------------------

Well people, get psyched.. because Fencing does start tonight in Big
Blue, Hope to see everyone there tonight.

P.S. If things work right, we my have a surprize mystery guest.