Is this a joke?

 

If not, I'm really disappointed that some of my players, and especially my freshers, will read this write-up. If you want to write stuff like this to your team, then great. Don't send this rubbish to the rest of the region.

 

Although I had nothing to do with playing at this ladder league event as I play for a different team, I have friends who play for those teams. I will not be attending an LSE ladder league event in future.

 

Can we please try and cut out the swearing as some people have to get this stuff through a spam filter and it's hard trying to get the group un-filtered.

 

It must be a joke

 

pugh

surrey scorpions

---

From: seuniultimate@yahoogroups.com on behalf of ultimateham22
Sent: Mon 05/03/2007 12:29
To: seuniultimate@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [seuniultimate] LSE's Hyde Park Ladder League Match Writeup. (Definately worth a cheeky read)

Hyde Park Ladder League Match Writeup
posted on the 20th Feb.

Hey guys,

So the Beaver seems to have left out an important article...anyway,
here's the unedited version of the article that was supposed to
appear in today's Beaver:

Who Scares Teams So Much They Pee? LSE! LSE!

Hyde Park

Saturday, February 10, didn't look like such a good day. Rain, wind,
and waterlogged pitches greeted the masochistic athletes on LSE's
Ultimate Frisbee team, Equilibrium, as they arrived bleary eyed at
Hyde Park (after no doubt boozing up the night before). Hangovers
were no matter though, as Equilibrium CRUSHED the competition all day
long and went 4-0 BABY!

First up on the day was the first team from Kings, aka "The Whiny
Sacks of Shit". Well, that's not entirely fair; it's more like their
captain (who goes by the name Ham Sandwich…what the hell type of name
is that?) is a colossal douche and is also a giant hypocrite. But
life isn't fair, and that's why they're going to be known as the
whiny sacks of shit. Points were traded as the pitch became muddier,
and for a while it looked like the Whiny Sacks of Shit (WSS for
short) might win. Unfortunately for them, they didn't count on two
things: the rain letting up, and the rest of Equilibrium showing up
and donkey punching them. Equilibrium's dynamic duo of Frenchie and
Stein basically made the WSS's defense cry with their spectacular
throws and grabs, and LSE took the lead for good. Ham Sandwich got
so pissed off with his team's crappiness that he started cheating by
bitching that Joe McNewGuy intimidated him so much he peed his pants
(this was cheating because it was taking time off the game…it's
totally legal to make someone pee their pants). This situation was
resolved when D Piddy regulated and told him in these exact
words: "Listen, it's cold, and we don't give a shit. Just shut the
fuck up and play". I bet you think I'm joking. I mean, how could
that be real? Except it was real. How real? Mad real. Yeah that's
how D Piddy rolls. Anyway, LSE went on to win 9-7 after D Piddy
managed to shut Ham's sass hole.

The next game was against Equilibrium's main rival, UCL. Matches
against UCL are always close, and this one was definitely a nail
biter. Seriously, I could hear the injured Yo and Mamabear munching
away at their nails the entire game while they were pacing on the
sideline. No worries though as Equilibrium did what needed to be
done to get the win. And by "did what needed to be done", I mean
that Casey Doherty pimp slapped UCL into submission. Whether it was
burning his opponent for a score, or making a spectacular grab, Casey
basically made UCL cry. Oh, and he does all of this while still
maintaining a head of hair that makes Fabio jealous. Why are you
such a heart breaker Casey? Also, Darkness got so muddy from laying
out into puddles that opponents and teammates alike couldn't see
where he was.

Next up against Equilibrium was the second team from Kings. Thank
God they didn't have anyone nearly as douchy as Ham. One of the main
highlights of this game was the first point, in which Frenchie hucked
it long to a wide open Winston, who caught his first score of the
season. His only comment was "this feels great!" followed by a
squeal. Whether he was referring to his first score or his
subsequent splooging of his pants is not certain. What is certain is
that Winston is a stud. Other highlights included the sun shining
(GASP!). This was most likely due to Eytan. Why, you may ask?
Well, because Eytan is just such an awesome guy that the Ultimate
Frisbee Gods can't let a day go by without letting the sun shine on
him. He paid homage to the Gods by then scoring some really pretty
scores. Weihan also got in on the scoring by sneaking away from his
defenders and getting open in the endzone a few times. That Weihan,
he's a wily one. I'm just glad he's on our side. He also made some
awesome plays on defense that made the King's 2nd team cry uncle.
The game ended with Equilibrium on top, giving LSE a sweep of Kings
for the day! So Ham, if you're reading this, I have a short message
for you: suck it.

The last game of the day was against a highly touted Brunel team.
The entire day we were hearing that Brunel was the team to beat, that
they were really tough, that they eat pieces of shit for breakfast,
blah blah blah. But as we all know, it's not good to eat pieces of
shit for breakfast. Also, talk is cheap. Not only did Equilibrium
win this game, we slapped Brunel silly. Six unanswered points
started the game for LSE before Brunel finally figured out how to not
suck so much. But then Equilibrium got even better. President
Pagget caught two HUGE scores, including one that he had to lay out
for. What a hero. Equilibrium's only girl for the day, Angela, also
got in on the scoring with her first score of the season. Not only
that, she had two awesome grabs during the previous games. Ian shed
his normally quiet demeanor after he got a lay out D on Brunel by
letting loose with a primal scream that scared every opponent on the
pitch into wetting themselves. Seriously, it was some crazy stuff; I
think I felt the ground shake a little too. And of course, Xian came
up huge (as usual) with a monster lay out D on the goal line to
prevent a score. Xian also managed to lead the team in points scored
with 9 on the day, earning him the title of "MVP/Supreme Overlord of
LSE Ultimate" for the day. The final score in the last game was 13-
4. Really, what more satisfying way to end the day than thoroughly
abusing an opponent?

So congratulations Equilibrium. You dominated every team we played
and made it look easy. To put it simply, damn it feels good to be a
gangsta


You can find more at:

http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/equilibriumultimate/messages

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