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Nittany Wrestling Federation Newsletter (3/29/01)
In this issue:
1. The Lyons' Prowl: NWF News & Notes
2. Dirty Works Report: VIP Preview, Retribution thoughts
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The Lyons' Prowl: NWF News & Notes
by John Lyons
Hello everyone and welcome to a new edition of the Lyons' Prowl! We're just about 24 hours away from the NWF's 2000-2001 "Season Finale" which is taking place this Friday, March 30, at 8 PM in the PSU White Building. The show is called VIP: Very Intense Punishment and it's shaping up to be the greatest free-per-view extravaganza of all-time! Here are some news and notes from the Nittany Wrestling Federation as we head into this monumental evening:
NWF Awards...Last day of voting is today
If you haven't voted for your favorite NWF superstars for the 2nd annual NWF Awards yet, then what are you waiting for? You have until midnight EST tonight to cast your vote for NWF Wrestlers of the Year, Most Hated Wrestler, Best Tag Team, Manager of the Year, Best Finishing Move, and more! Log on to the NWF website and cast your vote now before it's too late! The awards will be presented live at VIP tomorrow evening!
Arafat meets with the WWF!
Arafat meets with the WWF!
NWF Champion "Too Phat" Yutzak Arafat met with officials from the World Wrestling Federation this week. The exact happenings of these meetings was kept confidential, but rest assured that we will find out more about this at VIP tomorrow night.
Vote for Too Phat's Spinger episode!
Vote for Too Phat's Spinger episode!
Speaking of the NWF Champion, log on to www.jerryspringer.com and vote for "Bitter Betrayals," the episode of Springer that Arafat appeared on last week! There are only 2 days left to vote, so vote now!
Could this be the last NWF show ever?
Could this be the last NWF show ever?
With all the uncertainty surrounding the NWF and Penn State's Department of Risk Management putting the squeeze on us on what we can and cannot do on our wrestling shows, this could perhaps be the last NWF event ever tomorrow night. You will not want to miss VIP!
VIP Updated Card:
Here is the updated card for tomorrow night's VIP and even more superstars have been added to the line-up for this show!
VIP Updated Card:
Here is the updated card for tomorrow night's VIP and even more superstars have been added to the line-up for this show!
1. 30-Minute Marathon Match for the NWF Title "Too Phat" Yutzak Arafat vs. "LiveWire" Dave Desire
2. NWF Tag Team Titles: Los Hermanos Fumar vs. Tommy Golden and ??? - rumor has it Golden has a bigtime player as his parter in this match!
3. Match to crown the first-ever NWF I-C Champ: Ruckus vs Rapid Fire Maldanado - NWF Webmaster Justin Cryder had referred to Maldonado as having the heart of a champion and also as an uncrowned champion. Well it looks like those words were prophetic as the match between Ruckus and Rapid Fire has now been made a title match! The NWF is introducing a new title, the NWF I-C Champiship, and now with this added stipulation involved this match between these two great superstars has just gone up to the next level.
4. Mask vs. Hair Match for the University Park Title: Fumar Dos vs Fumar
5. Four Corners Match: Bax vs Feature Presentation vs Kevin KanEvil vs Sellena Snatch - Snatch has been added to this match as she continues her feud with Kevin KanEvil at VIP.
Also in action: The Saints of Sycho make their return, and Lucifer and Derrick Brown will be in action as well!
For a full preview of VIP, visit the NWF website at http://www.empusa.net/nwf and also read today's edition of the Dirty Works Report for The Big Dirty's thoughts on last Saturday's Retribution and tomorrow night's VIP!
For a full preview of VIP, visit the NWF website at http://www.empusa.net/nwf and also read today's edition of the Dirty Works Report for The Big Dirty's thoughts on last Saturday's Retribution and tomorrow night's VIP!
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Dirty Works Report
by The Big Dirty
ALL ABOARD!! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Yes, the crazy train is back, the Big Dirty Express is here, and just in time! Retribution is less than a week old, V.I.P is roughly 24 hours away, and rumors are running rampant throughout the NWF hierarchy. What the hell's going on?!
Well, I can tell you this much for sure. Retribution could possibly go down as one of the most controversial NWF events ever! To kick off the show, the NWF Champ, Too Phat Yutzak Arafat addressed the crowd and had to explain that Penn State's Risk Management team had pulled the plug on our Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match! Everyone was pissed, naturally, but Too Phat assured us we'd see a great show nonetheless.
Our first match saw Penn State's own Feature Presentation take on CZW phenom Ruckus. But before the match could get underway it was interrupted by none other than the Storm...that's right, Shawn Storm is back!! The Thunderous One was in no mood for a celebration though. He blasted the fans for not giving a damn while he was on the shelf from the rib-cracking Boston Crab he suffered from Fumar Dos at Y2K1. He went on to tell Feature Presentation that he intended to take out his frustration on Ruckus. F.P. didn't back down though and so the match was made into a 3-Way Elimination match! Unfortunately, Storm was out first after a devastating powerbomb that may have re-injured his already softened ribs. Ruckus defeated Feature Presentation after he displayed an arsenal of high-flying and death-defying moves, including a moonsault, Senton Bomb, and a Shooting Star Press! If you missed this, be sure to be there at V.I.P. this Friday to see this man in action again!
Next up, the Fumar cousins defended their belts against an impressive team in Partnaz 'n' Crime. However, not before they put the boots to Shawn Storm as he was leaving the ring. The tension between Dos and Storm is thick! A storm could be brewing!
Sellina Snatch improved to 2-0 after defeating Original I, who looked a hell of a lot like a festively plump Kevin KanEvil. Will KanEvil exact revenge against Snatch? Better yet, WILL HE BE ABLE to get his revenge? Snatch is tough! This one might not be over!
Travis Dee joined the NWF roster after defeating the Hurricane Kid in a contract match. Good luck to Travis!
In the final match of the night, the Fumar cousins defeated Too Phat and Fumar, and Dos became the new University Park champion. There was some controversy in this one too though. Risk Management thought they had pulled the plug on any dangerous elements, however, Fumar got a chair shot to the head, and then was whipped into the ring pole with another chair wrapped around his neck! It was brutal! Then, it looked like Yutzak was going to go for the leg drop through the merchandise table, but Tres saved Dos in time. It was a wild night to say the least!
As a result for this "dangerous display of activity" Risk Management has taken it upon themselves to consider shutting down the Nittany Wrestling Federation. Rumors are swirling that V.I.P. might not just be Dave Desire's retirement match, but the whole Federation's retirement match! Don't let it happen! E-mail the NWF with your comments and we'll send them on! In any case, we won't go down without a fight. If need be, yours truly Big Dirty, will put Risk Management through a table and see how they like that!
Switching gears real fast, be sure to be ready for this Friday night. It's the last Nittany Wrestling Federation show of the semester, and if Risk Management has it their way, it could be the last show ever! Here's a rundown of the tentative schedule that night:
The Feature Presentation is hungry after a tough loss this past Saturday, and he'll have all he can handle with Kevin KanEvil and Bax in a 4-Corners match! Also Snatch will be involved in the match. Will Snatch to break off KanEvil a piece? Can Bax continue his assault on the NWF?
Ruckus will be back and will be sure to bring the ruckus once again as he takes on Rapid Fire Maldonado as they battle for the newly-minted NWF I-C Title. These two heavyweights are sure to put on a hell of a show!
Fumar Dos will defend his newly acquired University Park title against his supposed cousin Fumar in a Hair v. Mask match!
Los Hermanos Fumar will be in action against Tommy Golden, who they assaulted at the last show, and Tommy's mystery partner. Who will Golden choose? Will the mystery partner be the man that Desanto and Heresy were talking on the cellphone with months ago? Where is Shawn Storm? Could the Thunderous One come back for some payback on Fumar Dos? Time will tell....
Speaking of time...the match of the night could very well be Arafat and Desire in the Marathon Match! But how well will Too Phat be able to compete after suffereing an injured foot? At the time of this report, Big Dirty's informers say that he will be an action regardless of an injury or not. Will Desire take advantage of this? It just might be VERY INTENSE PUNISHMENT for Yutzak Arafat!
Okay kids, Big Dirty is outta here, so be sure to come out for our last show of the semester, and watch Dave Desire in his final match ever! See you on Friday at 8PM in the White Building! Same Dirty time, Same Dirty channel...
Big Dirty
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