YOU KNOW YOU'VE LIVED THROUGH HURRICANE KATRINA WHEN:

Your only bank deposits are marked "FEMA."

You have lived in 3 different cities in the last month.

You can distinguish between flood and wind damage.

Your ear has stayed hot from your cell phone use.

Your day is spent on hold or talking to recordings.

You have been on vacation for 1 month and have not seen or done a damn thing.

You respond "None" to the blanks for address, phone, or occupation on questionnaires.

Your friends now live across the United States, and you know where each resides.

You hug anyone who hails from Mississippi Gulf Coast, New Orleans, including strangers.

You can quote the water levels of Lakeview, Lakewood South, Uptown, 9th Ward and Metairie.

You no longer pay electricity, water, cable or any other home-related bills.

Your clothes all smell like Grandma's attic.

You look for mold before using any of your possessions.

Your email list has quadrupled in size.

You know the rates of U-Haul and storage facilities across the south.

You have spent hours bumper to bumper in traffic to go nowhere.

You have gained an uncanny knowledge of government assistance programs from RedCross to unemployment.

Your social conversations center on the details of demolition, mold removal, and roof repair.

You have worn the same Old Navy t-shirt for three weeks.

You now have your hair color formula in your address book.

You have 3 to 7 people living in an apartment smaller than the one you rented when you first married.

Your patience is thin.

You have cussed out anyone who does not respond to your requests.

You are tired of hearing about the problems in the Superdome and Convention Center - you have your own problems.

You alternate between feeling like screaming, crying, laughing uncontrollably, and jumping from the 10th floor of your Red Cross donated hotel room.

You can no longer make logical decisions since nothing seems logical anymore.

You realize what a great life you had with a crew of great friends.

You realize how comfortable you were.

And you just want to be comfortable again.