About 10 years ago, Paul Rittenhouse and I waited in the concourse
of Williams Arena, along with a number of others, just to watch Bob
Knight emerge from the visiting locker room after a game. Along
with another guy, Knight finally came out, wearing what I recall as
a hounds-tooth hat. I don't think he was trying to disguise himself
as Bear Bryant or even Willard Ikola but he had it pulled down,
almost the way those bad guys do as they walk to court when cameras
are on them. Anyway, everyone recognized him and one young guy then
tried to shake his hand. He blew by him into the rest of the crowd,
mostly filled with people with pens and paper, wanting an
autograph. Knight took the pen and paper from the first kid he went
by. He continued his conversation with the guy his was with, still
holding the pen and paper, as he walked through the crowd and
outside to the team bus. The kid he had taken the pen and paper
from scurried after him, along with the others. When he got to the
door of the bus, still talking to the guy he was with, he finally
signed the paper, handed it back to the kid, and then hopped on the
bus. It was a masterful performance and we marveled at the way he
made it through everyone by signing only one autograph.

Friday night we saw another masterful performance after the
Timberwolves-Miami Heat game. After listening to the insight of
coach Pat Riley, we went into the locker room. Shaquille O'Neal
wasn't at his locker, presumably being in the shower. It's kind of
uncomfortable in this locker room because it's so cramped, with tall
players sitting at the lockers with their long legs and feet
sticking out. I'm always afraid I'm going to step on someone's
ankle, which, I'm told, happened a couple years ago in the
Timberwolves locker room when some KFAN intern stepped on Wally
Szezerbiak's feet, which were none too good to begin with. (Please
forgive my misspelling of his name, but Wally's been gone long
enough that I have, mercifully, forgotten how to spell it.)

In the Heat locker room, most of the players eventually cleared out,
leaving the reporters with more room as we waited for Shaq. Now, I
had no real need to talk to him, but, being a good ass-kisser along
with the others, I continued to hang around just to hear whatever
pearls, such as lyrics to his latest rap song, someone as great as
Shaquille O'Neal could provide. Finally, Shaq came out of the
shower area, fully dressed and wearing some knit hat that looks
about as bad as Carl Eller's wig. He walked right through all of us
and headed for the door. Everyone was a bit stunned, but after a
second to digest the fact that he was getting away, the herd
lumbered after him out into the concourse. One reporter later told
me that she hadn't recognized him at first (maybe thinking it was
Bear Bryant), so she initally lagged behind the rest of us
sycophants. But to her credit, she hustled ahead of everyone,
caught up to him and tried to talk to him, only to get royally blown
off. It was left to Mr. Know Everybody, Larry Fitzgerald Sr., to
actually get him to say a few words and even shake his hand.

Back in the media room, I talked to the reporter who had gotten
blown off. We both laughed about it, and I said she should consider
it a badge of honor to be blown off by someone like Shaquille
O'Neal. I couldn't help but brag about how I had once been blown
off even more regally by Barry Bonds, who did it in such a soft-
spoken manner and with such a big shit-eating grin on his face that
it took me a few seconds to realize I had just been dissed.

Great performances. You gotta marvel at them.

Stew