I was riding in this morning, I had just crossed Dillingham on King in the
crosswalk and I continued riding on the sidewalk there since there are tons
of cars and almost no pedestrians (nice wide sidewalks, and no worries) when
I was Accosted by and Elderly Man on a Bicycle (a White-Haired Haole) who
was riding on the street parallel to me.

As I pulled up beside him, this Old Bastard started SCREAMING at me,
immediately becoming red in the face. He screamed such slogans as
'Pedestrians Come First' and 'You Should Be Wearing a Helmet', as well as
calling me an Asshole and sharing his opinion that there was 'Something
Wrong With Me'. As he continued Shouting Meaningless Obscenities he became
so agitated and distracted that he almost lost control of his bicycle. He
was so distracted in fact that he shot across the Iwilei intersection (as I
turned right on Iwilei to go to work) through a turning-red light and to my
Great Amusement was Almost Run Down by Many Cars...

If anybody gets screamed at by some Ancient White-Haired Haole Fuck, make
sure and give him a finger from me. I was so suprised and caught off guard
by the Unexpected Tounge Lashing that I was completely Unable to Retort.

If anyone has recently had a similar experience, or if any of you are
familar with this Demented but no-doubt Venerable Ancient Haole Fuck, please
Share your Story.

I hope you are all getting lots of riding in. Happy New Year!

-The Matt That Elderly Bicyclists Scream At Sometimes