07Aug14e guntotingliberals
Does coitus cause violent crime?
Of course not!
But since there exists a dangerous perception that
guns cause violent crime, maybe should set up a
demonstration program to illustrate how ludicrous is
both the theory and the legislation (and legislative
proposals) that results therefrom. Since
guntotingliberals are, by definition, able to think
outside the box, stay with me for a few minutes. Then
tell me what you think.
Any fifth-grader should have little trouble
assembling the necessary data to demonstrate that
there is a relationship between population density and
violent crime.
Due to the unreported practice of every legislator
receiving a frontal lobotomy upon election, no one in
Congress or the several state legislatures would be
able to tell which is cause and which is
effect—whether population density causes violent crime
or violent crime causes population density. We would
be free; therefore, to assert that population density
causes crime and that, therefore, in areas where there
are above-average crime rates or above average
increases in the crime rates, the way to reduce
violent crime is to reduce population. Nothing
drastic, mind you, but in such jurisdictions as might
be suffering from violent crime, every man who has
already fathered two children would be required to
have a vasectomy and every woman who has already had
two children would be required to have her tubes tied
(or, at her option, an hysterectomy).
People who live in jurisdictions where the crime rate
is about average would have two choices. They could
arm themselves in order to discourage violent
criminals and thus prevent an increase in the violent
crime rate. Or they could just wait until the crime
rate increases and get their free operations.
There are two possible ways to look at this proposal:
1. To realize that gun ownership is no more a cause
of violent crime than having children is a cause of
violent crime.
2. To think that a reduction in population density
would result in a reduction in violent crime.
If the majority of the people in high crime areas
decide that the latter is likely to be the case, they
could stop reproducing like rabbits and reduce crime
that way. Or they could submit to the above-mentioned
plan. Either way, a reduction in population density
might allow the repeal of most or all of the ludicrous
gun laws now on the books, thus allowing or
encouraging more of the citizenry to arm
themselves—with the result that violent criminals
would find other employment or at least go elsewhere
to ply their trade. (It seems that there are
currently several places in Africa where they would
feel quite at home.)
I am not asking whether involuntary sterilization
would reduce crime. I’m only asking whether the
widespread discussion of this proposal would help
voters or legislators to see the flaw in their logic
about guns causing crime.
Roger Metzger
Salt Lake City




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