Howard,

 

I enjoyed listening yesterday to your story about finding and acquiring the newest fashion style running shorts.  I am highly impressed about your dedication and persistence in trying to be at the forefront of the sports clothing fashion development.  I even thought for a moment that you might become a consulting partner for the major players in this field, like the Nike’s, Hind’s, Adidas’, Mizuno’s, etc.

 

Unfortunately, after doing some extensive research over the last 24 hours (sacrificing last night’s sleep in the interest of science), I found some disturbing proof that you are really not the fashion expert you claim to be.  Take a look at the following graph which I found in a most respected science journal:

 

 

According to this latest research, the running short style you are wearing right now is really dating back to the 1950’s.  I am outraged, after over 50 years your stuff is clearly outdated.  Admit it, you mislead all of us in believing that you are a true sports clothing fashion expert.  Shame on us that we trusted you for so long.

 

Now, when can we expect you wearing a real up-to-date sports outfit?  There is only a small window of opportunity for you to rebuild your reputation.

 

Happy Holidays,

 

Manfred