Hash Trash: 7/2/07

Hares: Just Chris, Just Carrie, and Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Murphy's Bleacher Bar



VIRGINS: Just Heather, Just Pitt, Just Chris, Just Chuck, Just Jenn, Jus Katie,
Just Karen

HASHERS: Corn on the Cock, Just Kris, Packher Arse, A Salted Gash, Sex Luthor,
Ez on the Ass, Canned Pussy, Assman, Princess Labia, Stump Humper, Virgin
Banger, Bloody Thighs, Virtually Hung, Just Collen, Just Jenn, Just John,
Ernest Cummingway, Asspocket, Just Kris, Just Leslie, Jus John, Magnetic
Muff, Smell This, Hot Pants, Peterbilt, Cunt and Pasties, Its too Soft,
Spotted Cock, Smelly Concha, Horn-e, Mount Schwinga, Bank of Spermerica, Hookah
Hookah Burning Love, Mouthful of Meat, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included.

Virgins= 7
Total Hashers= 45

This was another nice turnout for the Chicago Hash. We had 45 people show up
and be counted for JUST CHRIS and JUST CARRIE's virgin hare trail. The hash was
billed as one you do not want to miss because of a very cool beer stop. I got
back with my co-hares at 6:50 pm and again there were already 10 hashers waiting
in anticipation of this fine trail. I took my seat and began collecting money
from hashers like EZ on the ASS, PRINCESS LABIA, BLOODY THIGHS, SEX LUTHOR, and
CP. I must say thank you for all of you who come up and pay me without having
to ask for your money. Collecting hash cash is a thankless job for whomever
does it and you people make it easy for me because I rarely have to ask anyone
for his or her money. Many Hashers saw that Wrigley was under construction for
the upcoming Police concert this weekend and JUST CHRIS even said wouldn't it be
cool to have circle in the Outfield since he doors were open? Nice try but
security I think would have had an issue with that. The hash began at 7:35 and
30 seconds and I was happy to see CALVIN and BATTERIES show up right at the
start. Thi meant I would have someone to run circle for this large group. The
chalk talk commenced and we used all the standard marks for this hash because we
had virgin hares that needed to learn the marks for trail. The pack was off
going west down Waveland and stopped traffic at Clark. HORN-E I believe found
the first mark after the split. Wankers like VIRTUALLY HUNG and SMELLY CONCHA
were already far behind. The back of the pack included JUST KELLY, PACKERHER
ARSE, CP, JUST CHUCK, and JUST JENN. I was sweeping so I barely saw anyone and
gave these people a Short cut to the Beer stop at JUST CHRIS'S place. Hashers
like HOOKAH HOOKAH BURNING LOVE, VIRTUALLY HUNG, SEX LUTHOR, and JUST JOHN took
the eagle trail. Other hashers like MOUTHFUL OF MEAT, BLOODY THIGHS, and STUMP
HUMPER took the turkey (chicken?) trail.

The Beer stop was at 3100 North Lake Shore Drive and was on the 21st
floor of the building overlooking he lake. We have early confirmation that many
people perceived this to be in the running for the best beer stop of the year!!
We were up there for 10 minutes when JUST CARRIE arrived with the back of the
pack and BATTERIES, SPOTTED COCK, ERNEST CUMMINGWAY, and others got to partake
of beer and of the awesome view. See the pictures located at
http://www.chicagohash.com/ to get my meaning. The hash after 20 minutes went
back to the bar but not before PACKHER ARSE played with some knob like boobs on
the way down the elevator. SMELLY CONCHA being the racist he is took the stairs
all the way down!!! The trail went through boys town on the way back and the
streets were packed with people on this beautiful night. BANK OF SPERMAMERICA
almost became road kill crossing Broadway and heading west. We got back to
the bar and were greeted by some non-runners, SMELL THIS, PETERBILT, HOT PANTS,
CUNT AND PASTIES, and ITS TOO SOFT we are still glad to have you show even
though you do not run. Our Bartender Katie poured us numerous pitchers of beer
and CALVIN began the traditional circle. Punishment was handed out to the hares
but I think the circle loved the beer stop!! So we were not hurt to badly.
STUMP HUMPER, VIRGIN BANGER, SPOTTED COCK, and HOOKAH were nailed for being
reboots. We also welcomed our virgins: JUST HEATHER, JUST PITT, JUST CHRIS,
JUST CHUCK, JUST JENN, JUS KATIE, JUST KAREN to the hash and judging by the
comments it sounds like many are going to return next week. We also were happy
to see the previous weeks virgins JUST JOHN, JUST KRIS, JUST LESLIE, and JUST
COLLEN come back and hash again for free!! Remember folks your 2nd hash is free
at the CH3. We also meet Just Kris and CORN on the COCK who were visiting from
DC. CALVIN soon closed the circle and many went on their way. If you did stay
you got to see JUST KELLY named. Due to a comment on trail about a gash she
had on her foot and it hurting because of the sweat, she has been named A SALTED
GASH!! See you all next week you wanks!!

Remember also 1500th hash on JULY 21st is fast approaching so pay up you
wankers!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM