Don't fall for these weasels!

Take it from me: they really are a big and mean-spirited heya. They openly
steal Massashigawa-beya's beer, and they beat their monkeys! They use bad
words, like "a$$" (see below). They are not a place where I would bring my
daughter.

Perhaps you have not heard of the Legend of the Massashigawa-beya. There is a
secret room at the Massashigawa-beya, filled with stuffed talking animals of all
sizes, kinds and colors, including a wonderful imaginary sock monkey. No one
may enter the secret room, because it is waiting for the arrival of a special
little girl who can imagine an invisible golden key to unlock the door, which no
one has ever seen before. The Legend long has held that the girl's name is
Princess Sakura, and that she will arrive bringing with her a much heralded
Bench Rikishi who is himself destined for Bench Sanyaku rank but who, if he
impulsively joins any other heya, will be tragically cursed, will be berated
forever thereafter by a Guest Gyoji Sock Monkey, and will never even make Juryo.

Now that you have access to all of the true facts, you may decide freely which
heya would be better for you. But, perhaps it would be best to present the
information above to your daughter and ask her.

Davin Slade <yabbanah@...> wrote:
Hi there chabonowaka,

I think that I am suited to your ichimon.

I lived in Japan for 3.5 years.

Over that time I went to watch the sumo at least 10 times.

My wife is Japanese, and my daughter's name is guess what? 'Sakura'

I can't say I bring much status with me, but if things go well and I ganbare
well over the next few basho I hope to get promoted to Juryo.

If you will accept me I will try my utmost to win for the ichimon.

Taniazuma

From: bench_sumo@yahoogroups.com [mailto:bench_sumo@yahoogroups.com] On
Behalf Of chabo
Sent: Sunday, May 06, 2007 1:07 PM
To: bench
Subject: [BS game] help us, please! [ichimon recruitment begging]

hello there good Bench Sumoans,

i am writing as a friend in need. i, chabonowaka, am a kindly member of the
little ichimon known as Sakura. now, we're not the littlest ichimon anymore
(hi, DeSuGi) but we're still fairly small. no, we're not one of the big
powerhouses (ISI, Doitsugo, or the evil (and mean-spirited) NPI) but we're a
very nice ichimon. heck, we're not even Massashigawa, though i am enjoying a
fine IPA from their home turf tonight. Harpoon, in case anyone's wondering.

anyway, back to the point. you may have noticed that we at the
small, friendly ichimon of Sakura had a wee bit of a terrible basho last
time out. ok, it was really bad. (except for Uiriikenshoryu, who really
kicked a$$.) we went something like 60-105 last time out, our worst basho
ever. so you can see how we could really use your help.

and we'd be really nice to you. we're just like that.

requirements for becoming a member of Sakura are as follows:

you must: (well, must is a bit strong, but these are decent guidelines)
1. be involved with the super excellent game known as Bench Sumo
2. have some affinity for something involved with Japan. (like, for
instance, Sumo.) (or my favorite band, GO!GO!7188, they're awesome)
3. want to be in the Sakura Ichimon

that's really it. if these things all apply to you, or even if they don't,
please, join us. if you would like to do so, please respond to me, or the
intrepid Kuramarujo, or both, or anyone else in Sakura, as i'm sure they
will also pass your wishes on to the appropriate authorities. or you can
tell Takanorappa or Jejima if you like, that works too. :)

all for now,

chabonowaka

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