A letter from your horse ...original version and the real story ...

When you are tense, let me teach you to relax.
When you are short tempered, let me teach you to be patient.
When you are short sighted, let me teach you to see.
When you are quick to react, let me teach you to be thoughtful.
When you are angry, let me teach you to be serene.
When you feel superior, let me teach you to be respectful.
When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to think of greater things.
When you are arrogant, let me teach you humility.
When you are lonely, let me be your companion.
When you are tired, let me carry the load.
When you need to learn, let me teach you. After all, I am your horse.

And now, the REAL story.....

When you are tense, let me teach you that there are lions in them
thar woods, and we need to leave NOW!

When you are short tempered, let me teach you to slog around the
pasture for an hour before you can catch me.

When you are short sighted, let me teach you to figure out where,
exactly, in the 40 acres I am hiding.

When you are quick to react, let me teach you that herbivores kick
much faster (harder) than omnivores.

When you are angry, let me teach you how well I can stand on my hind
feet because I don't feel like cantering on my right lead today.

When you are worried, let me entertain you with my mystery lameness.

When you feel superior, let me teach you that, mostly, you are the
maid service.

When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to PAY ATTENTION.
Remember? I told you about those lions in them thar woods?

When you are arrogant, let me teach you what 1200 lbs. Of "YAHOO LETS
GO!" can do when suitably inspired.

When you are lonely, let me be your companion. Let's do lunch. Also,
breakfast and dinner.

When you are tired, don't forget the 600lbs. Of grain that needs to
be unloaded.

When you are feeling financially secure, let me teach you the meaning
of "Veterinary Services".

When you need to learn, hang around, bud. I'll learn ya.