An oldie but very funny one.
Thanks Bags,
DD


-----Original Message-----
From: RALPH HIGDON [mailto:nav29giv@...]
Sent: Tuesday, June 20, 2006 8:39 AM
To: nav29giv@...
Subject: From the Manitoba Herald



>>Subject: From the Manitoba Herald
>>Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2006 17:20:09 -0700 (PDT)
>>
>>The flood of American liberals sneaking across the
>>border into Canada has intensified in the past week,
>>sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the
>>illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush
>>are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens
>>who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and
>>agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say
>>it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
>>professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians
>>crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk
>>the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
>>producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer
>>Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.
>>
>>The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked
>>me if I could spare a latte and some free-range
>>chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.
>>Didn't even get a chance to show him my screen play,
>>eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens,
>>Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals
>>scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that
>>blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real
>>effective," he said. "The liberals still got through,
>>and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give
>>milk." Officials are particularly concerned about
>>smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border,
>>pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
>>the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A
>>lot of these people are not prepared for rugged
>>conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I
>>found one carload without a drop of drinking water.
>>"They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
>>though.
>>
>>"When liberals are caught, they're sent back across
>>the border, often wailing loudly that they fear
>>retribution from conservatives. Rumor shave been
>>circulating about the Bush administration establishing
>>re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to
>>drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races. In recent
>>days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways
>>of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as
>>senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian
>>prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young
>>vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
>>immigration authorities began stopping buses and
>>quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on
>>Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they
>>were alive in the'50s. "If they can't identify the
>>accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get
>>suspicious about their age," an official said.
>>
>>Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal
>>immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage
>>and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I
>>feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian
>>economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident
>>said. "How many art-history majors does one country
>>need?" In an effort to ease tensions between the
>>United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney
>>met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
>>administration would take steps to reassure liberals,
>>a source close to Cheney said. We're going to have
>>some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put
>>some endangered species on postage stamps. The
>>President is determined to reach out," he said.
>>
>>
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