I am aware that you like to engage in endless conversations about
homosexuality, and to mention "butt-love" several times at any
given opportunity because it never fails to make you giggle like a
giddy schoolgirl. Unfortunately, I do not share your enthusiasm for
any of these things so I would appreciate it if you would stop
plaguing this club with your homosexualisms. I would also appreciate
it if you would stop sending me webcam snapshots of your nude,
scrawny body coated in peanut butter (and what I can only assume is
whipped cream) while your bloodied and beat up chihuahua, Taco, sits
in the background. It's disturbing. STOP. I am reporting you to PETA
as I write this.

Out of curiosity, with your IQ level bordering on mental retardation
(seeing how you tend to misspell the simplest of words),
how long did it take you to write all that crap? Two... three...
four... five... SIX hours? Now I can see why you do not spell check
or proofread your messages since you obviously run out of time and
must quickly return to servicing your master (Patrick Roy) or facing
the harsh consequences of tardiness (oftentimes an ass lashing by
Patrick Roy himself, as written in your autobiography, which also
includes details of your brief fling with Dennis Rodman).