From: erin gora <ering917@...>
Subject: [ctrh3] And The Winner Is...
To: "wbh3" <wbh3@yahoogroups.com>, "ctrh3" <ctrh3@yahoogroups.com>, "happy heretics" <happyhereticH3@yahoogroups.com>, "Anarchy HHH" <anarchyh3@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Sunday, March 1, 2009, 7:58 PM

Well, actually, I don't think I can call just one winner in this very first WBH3 Hot Mom Man Challenge.  There were so many spectacular displays of manhood, that I can't pick one man to call the ultimate winner.  Here's a recap of the weekend.  Feel free to email me back with suggestions for who the winner should be.

 

1.  Great Balls For Hire was the first to arrive aroung 5pm, and kept me company as I waited for everyone else.  Like a true gentleman, he even showed up with beer to share.  He continued to impress throughout the weekend, most notably on the pub crawl.  Great Balls checked off 17 of the 15 challenges given to the guys, and performed the best solo dance and lap dance by far.  He was also the only hasherman who continually plied me with drinks throughout the pub crawl, doing more than just the one "buy Goose a drink" task I wrote in on the bottom of his checklist. In fact, he bought Goose a drink before it was even added to the list. The next day he participated in all of the on trail challenges, and demonstrated chivalry on trail at a particularly tricky swamp crossing.  His meat was delectable, and he served up not only kabobs, but came back with a late night round of ribs.  The food was delicious, and I had no hestitation writing his name in on his man certificate.

 

2. Next to arrive was WB's own long lost UTA.  UTA completed his entire checklist, performed very well on trail, (in fact, he was one of the few who was actually able to fill the condom) and  cooked up something very tasty, but I must have been really drunk when he did so because now I can't remember what it was.  He played along and participated in every part of the challenge, and was justly rewarded with a certificate.

 

I don't remember who was next to arrive because I was drinking at this point, and lots of people got there around the same time.  So I will start with the most memorable stuff.

 

3.  Maybe one of the most impressive parts of the weekend was Hedgehog's devotion to his meat.  Hedgy spent 6 hours carefully seasoning and slowly smoking a sizeable chunk of meat, and as soon as I put it in my mouth I was speechless.  There were resounding moans of pleasure coming from harriettes all over camp as we sucked on Hedges juicy meat.  While his pub crawl performance was less then stellar (As the poor girl who was getting a piggy back ride when he fell down and dumped her on a wet, dirty bar floor) and he skipped trail to smoke his meat, the meat he produced was enough to certify his manhood. 

 

4.  Buck A Fuffalo.  Buck, unfortunately and through no fault of his own, arrived very late and did not complete is pub crawl checklist.  He did get the "buy Goose a drink" checked off.  But I didn't see him dance at all, or give any piggy back rides, or get any underwear, etc.. He came in with only about an hour and a half left to complete that challenge, and chose to just drink instead of rushing through the list.  I have to say I was dissappointed.  However, he soon made up for it by cleaning my house when we got home.  He continued to keep camp all cleaned up and was one of the last hashers standing both Friday and Saturday nights.  Not only that, but performed the most impressive displays of chivalry on trail, being the first hasherman to give a piggyback ride through the nasty swamp and when that proved to be difficult, actually laid himself down in the mud to serve as a bridge for the Harriettes.  Very impressive indeed.  Not only that, but was one of only three hashermen to successfully fill his condom, and the brute strength he used to rip the bras off the harriettes was really pretty hot.  I was again dissappointed when he neglected to read the part where he was supposed to bring meat to grill, and instead sat around the fire drinking beer and eating the other guys' meat.  He did continue to clean up around camp and kept the fire stoked, so he was awarded a certificate.  (But now that I type this, I wonder if maybe he'd make a great housewife??)

 

5. Super Duper Cheap and Gay never dissappoints, and this was no exception.  Super Duper arrived late to the pub crawl, but managed to complete the checklist, except for buying Goose a drink so he was docked one point for that.  He was part of a three man bridge to help the ladies cross the swamp and wore a very impressive costume.  He sliced his hand on trail, but tied a bra full of ice onto it and kept going without even wincing.  He completed all challenges, and served up a delicious rare flank steak at the grill off.  He also showed all the guys up with his break dancing skills during the dance off. He was, of course, awarded a man certificate.

 

6.  Fahrfromfuken was as impressive as ever. He embraced the pub crawl checklist with gusto, and I think he might have been the first to talk a girl into giving him her panties, and completed 17 out of 15 tasks.  Not only that, but he got laid within the first 30 minutes of arriving.  He was part of the three man bridge over the swamp, and in my opinion was the most skilled at the bra removal.  It wasn't as hot as Buck savagely ripping them off of the harriettes, but the speed at which he can unhook a bra is impressive indeed.  Fahr's meat was maybe the least impressive of all the meat, but the fact that he had the audacity to grill dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and then mix grilled weiners with mac and cheese is if proof that he does have balls.  He also helped Buck keep the area clean which was greatly appreciated by the property owners.  His exit from the event was also noteworthy, as he proudly diplayed all of the underwear that had been collected on the pubrawl as a flag on the antenna on his car.  There was no question of his worthiness of teh certificate.

 

7.  Toad The Bent Sprocket.  Toad was also one of the first to attack the list of tasks on the pubcrawl and did so with flair.  He was the first (maybe only?) hasherman to give a guy a piggyback ride, and not only did he get underwear early on, he helped Van Gogh get a girl's undies, and then wore them as a mask in the bar. The next morning he was the first up and cooked 6 pounds of delicious sausage, utilizing PBR to do so.  Toad looked great in ranger panties and sparkly tights on trail, and skillfully completed all on trail challenges.  His meat was a very tasty beer can chicken with a home made spice rub that just melted in the mouth. He demonstrated some wiley breaking and entering skills when he reminded the harriettes of a sperm as he wiggled hie was into PG's house via the cat door. Toad indeed earned his certificate, especially when he respectfully cleaned his own vomit out of Goose's kitchen sink before she ever even knew it was there.

 

8.  Bounces with Wood surprised us all as the first hasherman to attack his list on the pub crawl.  Before most of us even had a drink he was humping inanimate objects and giving girls piggy back rides through the bar.  His solo dance was something to behold, and he got the whole bar excited about the hashers.  He bought Goose the biggest glass of wine she had ever seen, and completed his list before some people even arrived.  He completed all on trail challenges except for the bra removal one, but that was only because Buck had already broken most of them and CHeap and Gay had sliced his hand. He cooked up some ribs that would make you smack your mama.  Not only that, but built the shelter under which the grill off took place, saving that part of the weekend from the inclement weather.  Bounces earned his certificate with style.

 

9.  My Name Is Jack arrived very late and didn't even bother trying to get to the pub crawl.  He did, however, bring a keg to the event, complete with the CO2 and tap.  The next night he continues his generosity by bringing vodka and Godiva liquer.  He was the first to present his meat, and even the other guys were impressed with the size of it.  Two inch thick cuts of NY Strip cooked to perfection.. .  MMmmmm....  Makes me hungry for more just thinking about it.  He also helped harriettes through the swamp and was the only hasherman to carry wood all the way to the very last beer check.  Jack' manliness was definitely certifiable.

 

10.  Udder Sucker wussed out of the pub crawl entirely, choosing instead to sleep.  Boooo....  He did make it to trail ON TIME (that's a first for him, think) and performed well, taking his time as he rubbed the pink off his rod.  He did not demonstrate any chivalry on trail, but his meat was to die for, and he was one of the last standing Saturday night. He also was the only man to honor 7 Year Bitch's request that the men get naked during the dance off.  Udder's manhood was certified.

 

This is getting tedious.

 

11.  What Can Brown Do For You arrived as the solo Anarchy hasher, having never met most of us, which shows balls and is impressive in itself.  The fact that he was smacked in the face by a girl when he asked he for her panties, and he kept trying other girls until he got some showed determination not seen in some of the other hashermen this weekend.   His meat was a juicy teryaki steak that made you want to suck on it for hours.  He unabashedly played guitar and serenaded some harriettes at the cookout, even while being chastized by the other hashermen who were presumably jealous because they didn't think of it first.  He lost a few points for passing out at the bar, passing out again right before trail (which started at NOON) and for singing non stop for at least an hour despite our pleas to end the song already.  Brown's use of words like "antiestablishmenta rianism" and New Englan intellectual snobbery was really pretty hot, so his manhood was certified despite the fails caused by his repeated passing out and non stop singing. 

 

12. Van Gogh's Anal performance on the pub crawl was also surprisingly impressive.  For someone who just reached the legal drinking age a week ago, he skillfully completed most of his pub crawl checklist.  He had to miss trail, and I don't think he cooked any meat, but his participation in the pubcrawl was noteworthy enough.

 

13. NFHN Matt Malloy, AKA Traitor Joe was unable to join us on the pub crawl, but he did put on an impressive show on trail and at the grill off.  On trail he smacked Goose's ass so hard it stung for a good 10 minutes and his condom got bigger than any other.  His pork shops were delicious, and he joined us and completed as many challenges as he could despite being handicapped by other obligations.  His manhood has also been certified for his efforts.

 

14.  Ankle Fester and Industrial Entrance were not awarded certificate because while they both arrived and were pleasant company, neither of them participated in a single challenge. Ankle did wrestle the diminutive 7 Year Bitch in Goose's living room, and totally kicked her ass.  I don't know if you can call it impressive when a large man pins a female (near) midget, but it was entertaining none the less.

 

15.  I'll Have The Roast Beef AKA Arby's was the only female to take the challenge, and by george she gave one of the more impressive performances of the weekend.  She completed the entire pub crawl list, and even came home with a married guy's boxer shorts.  She made her own marinade for her delicious steaks, and gave Buck A Fuffalo a piggy back ride through the marsh just so she could prove she could.  Arby's is as much a man as any who showed up to take the challenge (except for her lack of a penis) and earned herself a certificate along with the guys.  Very good show, Arby's. 

 

I think that's it. I offer my most sincere apologies if I forgot anyone, but please understand that I consumed large amounts of alcohol and slept only 6 hours all weekend.  We thoroughly enjoyed this event, and are considering make it an annual thing. I hope the Trashers enjoy the attached picture.  I look forward to seeing you in Wilmington again soon to retrieve the goods.... 

 

On On

 

The WBH3 Hot Moms.....