Calling all Ventura County Hashers!  This Sunday, May 6th is the
Randsburg Annual Hash!  This is a FREE hash hosted at an almost Ghost
Towne that features a genuine ball-buster trail for those seeking a
challenge or a semi-ball-buster for all the rest.  I'll be going and
have space for at least three more wankers that are welcome to car-pool
with me.  7:45 meet, 8:00 AM SHARP Departure.  First cum, first served,
if I get alot of responces, we'll try and accomodate everyone with
additional vehicles.

On-On,
At Your Cervix

Anyone want to carpool up?  Give me a call.

Piggus 901-605-4249

Sunday, May 13 2007, 3 PMMutha's Day Masturbation Pick-Up Hash Run 518
Click for map Hares Max Lode and The Maxxette Backsliders Location The
Bottle Shoppe Parking Area, Korner of Harbor and Wooley Thomas Guide 69-
4U2 Cost $5 (Cheap!) Beer and Buffet! 101 from anywhere, exit at
Victoria Ave, then turn towards Ocean, Right on Wooley Road, go past
Harbor, then turn right into Bottle Shoppe Parking area, LFH!! Cum to
the hash on Mutha's Day and get drunk and flounder Masturbation Style!
Open Seasons and Senseless Down-Downs!

Tips for Handling Telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead
of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much
more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep"
tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which
has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.


(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the
other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls
and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.


This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real"
sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there,
is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7
times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed
the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a
shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return
these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their
own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything
from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not
throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It
costs them more than the regular 39 cents postage "IF" and when they
receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around
50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight.
In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put
it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a
pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day,
then just send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on
anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep
them guessing! It still costs them 39 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of
their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM
them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail,
and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-
mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need
to increase postage costs again You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- I have been
doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO FORWARD TO YOUR
FRIENDS

Only 7 cabins available until June 30th!!  Get a 7 night hash cruise
with activities and parties included for only $592 per person!!!
That's right, pay $617 and some change, and receive $25 shipboard
credit.  Carnival has been taking back our cabins so they can sell
them at a higher price.  Don't let them take these away.  Put down
your deposit now, and hold your spot.  I have one female hasher
looking for a roommate, and one male hasher looking for a roommate.
Let me know if you are intereested.  Be a part of the next high seas
adventure!
      Cruise On-On,
      Kiddie
"Everything  ROCKED!!!  You are truly amazing to have pulled all of
this together.  Next year I already have at least 10 others who are
for sure coming - just waiting for the dates." – Repeat Offender


       CARIBBEAN HASH CRUISE 2007
Oct. 14 – Oct. 21, 2007
"This will be a Legendery hash vacation…"

Come and join the Tampa Hashers as we set sail on the 8th Annual
Caribbean Hash Cruise.  We will be departing from the port of Tampa,
FL and sailing on Carnival Cruise Line's ship "The Legend".  We'll be
cruising to Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Belize and Costa Maya. This ship
is over 960 ft long and has 13 decks.  The cabins are luxurious, many
with balconies, and each cabin has a mini fridge.  This will be a 7
night, 8-day cruise visiting 4 exotic ports!  Included will be your
accommodations, entertainment, delicious 4 course meals, Vegas-style
shows, Comedy acts, International singers, swimming pools, a Fitness
Center, a water slide, Jacuzzis, a sauna, a whirlpool, a steam room,
a casino, an internet café, duty free shops, a disco, a piano bar,
midnight buffets, 24-hour complimentary room service, and 24-hour
pizza and ice cream.

As a part of the hasher group we will have special events, private
parties, onboard hash runs and discounted group shore excursions.  We
will have a pre-cruise hash run and a "Meet your cruisemates" party
in Tampa on Saturday night. Then, we will meet up for a "Bon-voyage
party" prior to boarding.  After our group photo, we will have
a "Bathrobes and Bubbly" champagne toast to our departure.  We will
have four more onboard parties, including a "Welcome Party", a "Beer-
Fest", a "Theme Party" and a "Sunset Sarong Party". These events will
include all the beer you can drink, as well as the choice of 2 other
alcoholic beverages. We are also planning a room crawl, a topless
deck party, a ghetto hall party and a karaoke singing adventure. Free
champagne and cabin treats, free wine at dinner on formal nights,
free cabin upgrades, and special prizes and giveaways.  We are
planning special group shore excursions in all of the ports,
including a "Beer Beach Party".  On past cruises we have had a group
excursion to snorkel/swim with stingrays, and another to go cave
tubing.  In Cozumel, we have cruised on a party boat and played at a
Mexican Beach Club.  Using the input of the attendees, I will
organize similar events, or go for something new, like a trip to see
Mayan Ruins.    More information to come…

Look what we're planning:
·          Friday Pre-cruise Happy Hour
·          Saturday Tampa Hash Run
·          Saturday On-After Pool Party
·          Sunday Bon Voyage Party
·          Bathrobes and Bubbly Party
·          Welcome Aboard Party
·          Theme Party
·          Sunset Sarong Party
·          Topless Deck Party
·          Onboard Hash Runs
·          Ghetto Hall Party with Stairwell Twister
·          Hash Room Crawl
·          Hash Contests and Games with prizes
·          Hash Lanyard and Tag
·          Costa Mayan hash run with Mexican beer and beach fun
·           Mexican Beach Club party in Cozumel with giveaways and
surprises
·           Opt. Group excursion to Snorkel and Swim with the
Stingrays in Grand Cayman·           Opt. Group excursion to Tube in
the Rainforest in Belize
·           Opt. Group excursion to see Mayan Ruins


"We were both exceedingly happy with everything and grateful for your
efforts.  In any case, I will highly recommend this trip to others in
Pittsburgh ... tonight. I've been hashing for over 25 years.  This
was the best event yet." – Noah

Rates are per person and include all Port Charges and Taxes:
                    Inside Cabin        Outside Cabin        Balcony
Cabin
                          Double          $617.53/pp
$717.53/pp             $817.53/pp
Triple             $530.86/pp             $607.53/pp
$684.19/pp
Quad             $487.53/pp             $552.53/pp
$617.53/pp

$250 per person deposit is due at the time of booking.
Final payment due by July 20th, 2007.  Limited number of cabins
available at this rate!!

For Reservations and Information, contact Kristie Gibson at Cruise
World at 1-800-228-1153.  Tell her that you are interested in the
hasher cruise.  Then, give your hash name and e-mail address to
Kiddie at kiddie5@verizon. net so that you are added to the "Look
Who's Coming List" for hash cruise information and updates.  Also, e-
mail Kiddie with any questions about this cruise, previous hash
cruises, or if you would like help finding a roommate.  If you are
interested in an "Open Bar" option, it costs $40 per day, per person,
or $280 for the week.  E-mail Kiddie if you would be interested in
this option, because we must have a minimum of 30 people to make it
happen.


                                                ITINERY
     DATE                 PORT OF CALL               ARRIVAL
DEPARTURE
Sun. Oct. 14                  Tampa                             --
                     4:00p.m.
Mon. Oct. 15           Fun Day At Sea                     --
                          --
Tues. Oct. 16           Grand Cayman
7:00a.m.              4:00p.m.
Wed. Oct. 17               Cozumel
9:00a.m.              6:00p.m.
Thurs. Oct. 18               Belize
8:00a.m.              5:00p.m.
Fri. Oct. 19               Costa Maya
8:00a.m               5:00p.m.
Sat. Oct. 20             Fun Day at Sea                      --
                         --
Sun. Oct. 21                Tampa                           8:00a.m.

"Thanks again for an awesome time!!!!  I cannot think of any hash
campout, event, etc., that comes even close to approaching the amount
of fun I had on your cruise!" – Dude, Where's My Car?

"Once again putting on the most fabulous and awesome hash cruise. So
much fun, so much beer, so many blacked out memories.... ..Thank you
Kiddie for all the work you put on for us to have such a great
time." – F. Stupid

"Last years cruise was great but I think you out did yourself this
year.... veilen dank, mucho gracias, thank you and any other way it
can be said (and spelt...lol) ... am SOOOO looking forward to next
years" – Bimbo

"This was truly the best, much needed vacation I've ever had!!!" –
Womb Service

"Thanks so much for such an incredible time!" – Kimchi Cab D-Lite

"Late nights, good friends, big boat, beer driven appetites… and a
little metal bell." – Ginger Snatch

" Hopefully I make it to another hash cruise!!" – Red Wing Angel

  "AWESOME JOB!!" – Fish


Cancellation Terms:
76 days or more prior to sailing - Full Refund
30 to 75 days prior to sailing - $250 per person
8 to 29 days prior to sailing - 50% of the cruise rate per person
7 days or less prior to sailing – No Refunds
Name changes are allowed at no charge until 76 days prior to sailing.
Name changes within 76 days of sailing incur a $75 fee.
Optional Trip Protection Insurance is available for purchase at
Cruise World.  This insurance would reimburse you for cancellations
due to medical or family emergency reasons. This coverage also covers
expenses for trip interruption, lost or delayed baggage, and medical
expenses not covered by your health insurance policy.
Look Who's Coming
"Legend" Hash Cruise
Oct 14 – Oct 21, 2007

1.        Bimbo on the Run – England
2.        Money Shot -
3.        Kiddie – Tampa, FL4.        Ear Muff – Tampa, FL5.
Just Laid – Orlando, FL6.        Rub My Buns – Orlando, FL
7.        Dude, Where's My Car? – Houston, TX8.        ??????
9.        Fire in the Hole – Emerald Coast, FL
10.     Imagine My Erection – Emerald Coast, FL11.     Fecal F***er –
Daytona Beach, FL12.       ?????
13.     Wayyy Beyond Gayyy – Daytona Beach, FL14.       ?????
15.     Burnt Tatas – CA
16.      Doktor Dive – CA
17.     Tie Me Down Dick – Tampa, FL18.     Sextra Credit – Tampa,
FL19.     Bone Sucker – Austin, TX20.     Mystery Hasher
21.      Mystery Hasher
22.     NY Hasher
23.     NY Hasher
24.     Caught from Behind – Tampa, FL25.     Goo Light Special –
Tampa, FL
Look Who Says they're Coming

1.        LMAU – Melbourne, FL2.        Blows the Hammer Stanley –
3.        Repeat Offender – Phoenix, AZ4.        Captain Jerk –
Carlsbad, CA5.        Richard Pierce – Daytona Beach, FL6.
STFU – Melbourne, FL7.        Sperm Burp – Orlando, FL8.
Chippendale – Orlando, FL
9.        Tooth Fairy – Orlando, FL10.     Remington Pussy, Naples,
FL11.     More Sex - Tampa, FL12.     Where's My Goat – Tampa,
FL13.     Twat, Cunt Hear You – Tampa, FL14.     3 Holes, No Waiting –
  Orlando, FL15.     Service – Tampa, FL16.     Candy – Tampa, FL
17.     Kay Why – Tallahassee, FL18.  Peterphile - Orlando, FL19.
Lunar E-Clit - Orlando, FL

This all sounds great, but Kristine and I have just
returned from a most excellent "Free Style" cruise on
Norwegian Cruise Line to the Bahamas and Bermuda. (Our
Honeymoon)

Unfortunately we'll have to miss.

Spicy



________________________________________________________________________________\
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Run 520 Click for map Hares Mystery and YOU???!!! Location Back Parking
Annex of the Ventura College of Law Thomas Guide 69-4U2 Cost $5
(Cheap!) Cumming from the 101 SB(Santo Barbarians) Exit at Telephone
Rd, continue straight across main street intersection from offramp onto
Donlon, turn left on Market St. cross Telephone Road look for big white
two-story spanish stlye building on left, park well behind it and LFH!
Cumming from the 101 NB(El-Layers) Exit ar Telephone Rd, turn left on
Telephone Road, go down 3 lights, turn left on Market St. look for big
white two-story spanish stlye building on left, park well behind it and
LFH! The Beer and BBQ is back, cum enjoy it! $5 gets it all, great beer
and some dog-meat to choke on! The hash will be a Pick-up, therefore,
you may be selected as the hare. If no one else is willing, AYC will
have to be the first hare, but we will have a VCH3 Hash nonetheless!

Sunday, August 19 2007, 3 PM
Post Independs Day VCH3 Humpstart Pick-Up Hash REDEUX!!

Run 520
  Click for map

Hares Reproduce and Not Yet

Location Back Parking Annex of the Ventura College of Law

Thomas Guide 69-4U2

Cost $5 (Cheap!) or a Quality 6-Pack

Cumming from the 101 SB(Santo Barbarians) Exit at Telephone Rd,
continue straight across main street intersection from offramp onto
Donlon, turn left on Market St. cross Telephone Road look for big
white two-story spanish stlye building on left, park well behind it
and LFH! Cumming from the 101 NB(El-Layers) Exit ar Telephone Rd,
turn left on Telephone Road, go down 3 lights, turn left on Market
St. look for big white two-story spanish stlye building on left, park
well behind it and LFH!
The Beer and BBQ is back and WILL NOT DIE, cum enjoy it! $5 gets it
all, great beer and some dog-meat to choke on! The hash will be a
Pick-up, therefore, you may be selected as the hare. If no one else
is willing, AYC will have to be the first hare, but we will have a
VCH3 Hash nonetheless!

It's in our backyard, so sign-up already!

http://lobstercampoutix.blogspot.com/

H3 of SantO Barbara Saturday, December 1 2007, 3:00 PM
Can you say T-O-G-A?

Hares Cubie Hole and Cubie's Bitch

Location 605 Poli, Ventura California

Cost $5, plus bail money if you dont get a designated driver

605 Poli in Ventura, just east of Ventura City Hall. From SB exit 101
at Ventura Ave. Turn right on Thompson, left on California, and go
uphill to Poli. Parking lot is straight across Poli (veer to the
right). We're on the corner of Chestnut and Poli, just to the east.
This really is a toga run and costuming is mandatory!!!

Ventura H3 Saturday, December 8 2007, 3 PM
Take a hash on the Wild Side

Run LAH3 1414
  Click for map

Hares Titty Bear and Ganjaman

Location Wildwood Park, Thousand Oaks

Thomas Guide don't have one for Ventura

Cost $4

From the 101, exit Lynn Road Exit in Thousand Oaks. Proceed North on
Lynn Road about 2.5 miles and turn left on Avenida De Los Arboles. Go
to the end of the road until you see the park entrance on your left.
Pull into the parking lot and look for hashers.
Come join the LAH3 as it invades Ventura County. The hares guarantee
a trail with plenty of scenic shiggy and beer.