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Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run Number 1164
11th April, 2009
Hares: Low Blow, Do Me First (learner), & Porno Prick
At
Panorama Park, Village of Deep Cove, N. Vancouver
AFI, Shagger, Malice, GF, ITTFC,Low Blow, Dangler, Roast, Do Me First, Pussygalore, Manhole, Formosa, Plunger (shyly), Raincoat, Cream Puff, Mountme, and Pigeon Stool, Beheader (later)
So, its a mere 22 years since the VH3 was inaugurated and appropriately enough it is Easter - a time for rebirth, beer and chocolate. Our very own Maple Schmekl is off in Jakarta, and has kindly sent us a very small picture of his very large arse, below. I have suspicions about his other parts, too. He appears about to be providing special services to the gentleman in front of him... I hope this has a happy ending. Maple hates batting on a sticky wicket.
This magnificent, epic hash event, hared by the incredibly calming Low Blow, and her of the immaculate loins (more on them later) Do Me First, and your scribe carried us down into Deep Cove Park, then steadily up through the neighbourhood to a back entrance into the B-P Trail, and thence the bluffs for a beer check followed by an Easter Egg Hunt. The return incorporated the parts our hares forgot to do on the way in, and led us up to Indian Arm Road, and down to the B-P Trail via a little-used trail of considerable charm. DMF was caught on the way in by Mountme, and we were both caught by Plunger on the way back. DMF is learning to smoke cigarettes, and here you can see the results. Shagger's GPS says it was 6.9 KM. Goat Fucker walked down to the bluff and I attach a record of his hairy bottom for comparison with last week's picture - see how the repairs are going. GF kindly opened his cheeks to display even more hair.
Dangler overdosed on a mixture of chips and chocolate, fortunately the emetic STORM will result in an MMC tomorrow morning (monumental morning c--p). The hash produced a hundred-and-one easter eggs for the occasion; which were carefully hidden around the bluff. The fortunate winner, with most eggs collected was Manhole who earned herself a damned good mammarial licking by Lucky GF (not the God Father)! It is simply incredible how much chocolate a modern bra can absorb.
An amazingly good turnout, considering the strange weather, a mid-day hockey game, and the considerable distance to travel. "I'll Take the Fat Chick" made the journey of a lunch-time from Abbotsford and sweated and grunted his was to the beer check, accompanied by "Raincoat" who at twice his age wafted up to the bluff with no more effort than a a slight flutter of his copiously decorated bathrobe.
After down-downs to welcome our virgin hare, returnees such as Raincoat, Dangler and ITTFC we adjourned to AFI's for a repast of baked spuds and the usual accessories, and a loin of pulled pork, courtesy of DMF. One lick of her immaculate loins, a slurp of her wonderful juices, a skillful tonguing of those delicate thighs, and a gentle tug of those soft parts, all combined to produce a profound sense of wellness impossible to fake. Wow, I feel quite warm, quick get the towel... :). Pigeon Stool incautiously used a knife to slice open his thumb, mistaking it for the flesh of a well baked potato. Our beautiful, Scottish nurse, Manhole searched high and low for band-aid, a stapler, needle and thread, and finding none made efficient repairs with masking tape.
Pussygalore and Manhole demonstrated a female version of "finding happiness between her breasts"; which I personally found very exciting, and I know Dangler did, too. Beheader came much later. Formosa being the only sober person at the party should probably write the rest of this.
What else? An enormous amount of beer, excellent food, chocolate, chips, good company, and so much more - I think it was a bloody good show. Hurrahs to Low Blow and DMF for cooking and stuff, and to AFI for the premises. Hey, lets do it again next week!
18th April is something to do with Delhi Belly and Downtown - beware the Ides of Febuary 2010 - lay down flour and your arse in goal, hmmm, let me think about that. Watch-out lads!
Shagger will handle the 20th April, our first Monday Run with his usual aplomb.
AGPU is coming soon, and so are shirts - make sure you have learned to swim, Low Blow is hosting this year and there will be competitive events involving water.
Hardon probably has the Hash Shit, if not then who?
On-On!
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