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#197 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:19 pm
Subject: Merry Christmas To You All sunzi8888
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Dear friends

With Christmas almost upon us, I'd like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a cologne sample and rob me.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have
363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program.

Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will land on your head at 5:00PM (EST) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Merry Christmas To You All And Have A Very Happy, Safe & Prosperous New Year 2007

Regards & God Bless

Chee Siong

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#196 From: Tan Desmond <desmond5863@...>
Date: Fri Dec 15, 2006 1:31 pm
Subject: Hair Dryer desmond5863
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A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?" "Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs' limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Er...under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you." When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange and asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" "I have a marvellous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused." "Go ahead, Father. ... Next!"

Best Regards,

Desmond Tan

HP - 98774477

Meet your soulmate!
Yahoo! Asia presents Meetic - where millions of singles gather

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#195 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Mon Dec 11, 2006 7:21 am
Subject: where flight attendant rests... richardnicol...
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Boeing 747-400

KLM Airline

Airbus A340

Boeing 777

SQ

SQ-with inflight TV and telecommunications

Canada airline

AirAsia.....!?

Ssssssshhh. ~~

Or else you wake her up.. ~!!

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#193 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Tue Nov 28, 2006 9:15 am
Subject: anger management richardnicol...
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ANGER MANAGEMENT

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it
out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man
answered, saying "Hello." I Politely said, "This is David. Could I
please speak with Robert Campbell ?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe
that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct
number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
digits.

After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong'
number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "
You're a C*nt!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'C*nt'
next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "
You're a C*nt!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '
C*nt' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said,
"Hi, this is John Smith from BT . I'm calling to see if you're familiar
with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him
back and said, "That's because you're a C*nt!"

One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull
into a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and
pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and
yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored
me.. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first C*nt ( I had
his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land
Rover C*nt, too. I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land
Rover for sale?"

Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I
asked."Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced
house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen,"
he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?"
"I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed."

"Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"

"Steve, you're a C*nt!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called C*nt #1.
Hello." "You're a C*nt!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Steve Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"C*nt, I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my
gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better
start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, C*nt," and hung up.

Then I called C*nt #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, C*nt," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, C*nt, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived at 129 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to
kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war
going down in Alice Street, Ilford .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street . I got
here just in time to watch two C*nts beating the crap out of each other
in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.....

.........NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works....

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#192 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Tue Nov 28, 2006 1:36 am
Subject: the kind lawyer richardnicol...
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One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."

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#191 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:04 am
Subject: I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS richardnicol...
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I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

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#190 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:28 pm
Subject: HOW HAVE YOUR GAME PROGRESS SINCE THE FIRST GAME WITH SMART.com sunzi8888
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HOW HAVE YOUR GAME PROGRESSED SINCE YOUR FIRST GAME WITH SMART.com?
Name	Game Progress	2006		2005		2003
Name	Game Progress	S.com 8 Gross Score	S.com 7 Gross Score	S.com 6 Gross Score	S.com 5 Gross Score	S.com 2 Gross Score
Melvin Aw	-24	79		78	86	103
Andrew Lim	-18	79	80	97
Tang Wai Hong	-14	95	109	109
Arthur Quek	-11	92	95	98	92	103
Alan Koh	-8	84		87	90	92
Goh Chee Sian	-8	100	89	94	82	108
Lee Kwek Kiong	-8	100	104	104	118	108
Anthony Cheng	-4	84	90	90	88	88
Eric Goh Eng Kee	-3	85	93	93		88
Wong Fook Heng	-3	98	91	105		101
Soon Chee Siong	-2	103	105	105
Lawrence Young	-1	87		86	88
Roy Khoo	-1	91	97	97		92
Terrence Chan	0	115	102	102		115
Peter Heng	1	111	110	110
Desmond Tan	1	111	117	117	118	110
William Soh	1	120				119
Steven Ho	2	82	0	80
Peter Lim	3	107	104	104
Grace Lim Lay Hua	4	100	96	0
Thomas Er	4	108	104	104
Richard Kwok	5	110	105	105
Thomas Ng	5	90		89		85
Markus Dolenga	6	110			96	104
Chua Hock Wah	7	89	101	101	82
Richard Chee	9	107	99	99		98
Roger Seah	9	117				108

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#188 From: Tan Desmond <desmond5863@...>
Date: Fri Nov 17, 2006 1:02 pm
Subject: Indian with Onestone........ desmond5863
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There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
"If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named

Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
What is the moral of this story?????............................

OH, come on..take a guess!

Think about it.

You're going to love this!)

And the moral is

.....You can't kill two birds with one stone

Yahoo! Movies

- Search movie info and celeb profiles and photos.

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#187 From: "Anthony Els" <anthonyels@...>
Date: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:54 am
Subject: Results of SMART.com 8/Revalidated HCP for next Event anthonyels
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Dear All,

Results of SMART.com 8 Golf Challenge and the revalidated handicaps for
members have beeen posted in our website, under "Files".

A. Els

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#186 From: Tan Desmond <desmond5863@...>
Date: Thu Nov 16, 2006 12:01 am
Subject: Re: More Smart.com 8 pictures desmond5863
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Sorry, if fail to view picture, please click on photo and look for more Smart8 pictures, thank you.

Best Regards,

Desmond Tan

----- Original Message ----
From: desmond5863 <desmond5863@...>
To: SMART_dot_com@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thursday, 16 November 2006 7:46:53 AM
Subject: [SMART_dot_com] More Smart.com 8 pictures

Guys,
Here is link to more smart.com 8 pictures:

http://sports. ph.groups. yahoo.com/ group/SMART_ dot_com/photos/ browse/53a
8?c=

Meet your soulmate!
Yahoo! Asia presents Meetic - where millions of singles gather

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#185 From: "desmond5863" <desmond5863@...>
Date: Wed Nov 15, 2006 11:46 pm
Subject: More Smart.com 8 pictures desmond5863
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Guys,
Here is link to more smart.com 8 pictures:

http://sports.ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/SMART_dot_com/photos/browse/53a
8?c=

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#184 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Tue Nov 14, 2006 3:50 pm
Subject: SMART.com Challenge 8 Photos sunzi8888
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Hi guys

SMART.com Challenge 8 Photos are ready.

Log on to :

http://sports.ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/SMART_dot_com/spshow/d93f?b=1&m=s

Regards

Chee Siong

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#182 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Tue Nov 14, 2006 6:51 am
Subject: Membership drive for National University of Singapore Society sunzi8888
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Hi guys

Are you looking for country club facilities without the cost?

Do you want to get to play at various golf courses in Singapore & Malaysia each month?

Consider joining my NUSS (National University of Singapore Society). With 3 guild houses at Kent Ridge, Suntec and Adam Park, it is currently offering, for limited time only, new transferable membership an all-time low entrance fee of S$2,000 payable in interest-free installments. That is not all, you get back more than $1,888 worth of gifts and rewards. Monthly subscription is only $45. Offer ends on 31^st December 2006.

Why are the membership drive? NUSS is building the new Bukit Timah Guild House scheduled for completion in 2007. So you get a brand new clubhouse by next year.

You don't have to be a graduate of NUS. You just need to be a graduate from a university to qualify as associate member. I can be your introducer. And for that, I get $500 worth of F&B vouchers from the Society. I will give back $250 vouchers to you � i.e. your membership is FREE!

And if you are a SMART.com member with 12 handicap or below, I will give the entire $500 vouchers to you. Why? I want to see our SMART.com members winning the NUSS golf tournaments. Any one of our top 5 SMART.com players can have a decent shot at the championship trophies.

Check out the website at:

http://www.nuss.org.sg/enewsletter.htm

http://www.nuss.org.sg/new/egallery/sports_recreation.htm

Email me at: sunzi8888@... to get the Application form and my endorsement at referrer.

Regards

Chee Siong

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#181 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Tue Nov 14, 2006 5:21 am
Subject: Allen Kelly is in town! sunzi8888
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Hi guys

Remember the first prize for the previous SMART.com 7?

It was a five-star hotel stay at hotel Empire Hotel & Country Club worth S$523!!!!

Allen Kelly was the kind sponsor for that prize.

Now Allen is in Singapore to conduct the Kelly Blackburn's Golf Fitness TM program, an adaptation of the successful golf-focused fitness program once exclusive for PGA TOUR professionals.

This program is modeled for golfers of all ages, skill levels and fitness levels. Certified Golf Fitness trainers conduct the program, which utilizes the same state-of-the-art equipment used by over 100 PGA TOUR professionals to enhance golf performance.

This program was introduced nationwide from Los Angeles to Rockefeller Plaza and has been featured in SELF magazine, Golf Digest, The Chicago Sun Times, DeltaSky magazine and Golf Digest Woman to name a few. Rave reviews were received from the CBS Early Show!

For more information, contact Allen Kelly, +65 9118 2894 or

Log on to www.downundergolf.com

So if you are looking at taking your game to the next level, he is the man for you.

Regards

Chee Siong

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#180 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Tue Nov 7, 2006 5:36 am
Subject: FW: Garage Sale richardnicol...
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Helping a friend to announce.  For those of u who find something u want
below, do go there to take a look.

-----Original Message-----

GARAGE SALE
(CHEAP 2ND HAND ITEMS!)

Some of the items available are:

? Ladies handbags (LV /  Prada / Gucci & non branded)
? Ladies clothing (sizes small and medium) and shoes  (sizes 6-7)
? Decorative items for the house from travels abroad
? Household items eg. crockery, pots and pans, etc
? Furniture eg. sofa set, shoe cabinet, wardrobe cabinets, Book
shelves, writing table, etc
? Electrical appliances eg. washing machine cum dryer, TV set and
refrigerator
? Magazines in relation to d�cor, gardening, diving and cooking
? Books and music CDs
? Storage containers

Date and Time : 11th & 12th Nov 11am to 5pm
Address: BLK 307 Tampines St 32, #09-98 (Opp Ngee Ann Sec Sch)

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#178 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Fri Oct 27, 2006 10:22 am
Subject: The loving husband richardnicol...
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#176 From: "M Beh" <phbeh0809@...>
Date: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:18 am
Subject: Re: Participant's List update + Wine Appreciation phbeh08091962
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Hi,

I will not participate the Smart 8 nor the wine party as I'm stationed in Beijing. Well done with the organization and good luck.

Regards,

PH Beh

On 10/25/06, Soon Chee Siong <sunzi8888@...> wrote:

Dear all,

Please be informed that as of today, we have 49 participants signed up for the Smart.com Golf Challenge 8. Please refer to the spreadsheet below to find out whether your details are correctly stated especially your handicap, membership number and Polo shirt size (any changes to the Polo shirt size need to inform us by 29th October 2006). For those who has not yet registered in the Smart.com website as indicated in pink colour, kindly experdite the registration process in order to avoid any unnecessary DQ on lucky draw and trophy winning entitlements.

Latest date of withdrawal : If you are not able to participate due to any unforseen reasons, kindly inform us on/ before 2 November 2006. Failing which will resulted in non-cancellation of your fees as we need to provide sufficient time for the club to take care of the changes.

WINE TASTING AND APPRECIATION

The venue and timing for wine tasting are as follows:

EVENT SPONSOR: Roos Cellar Pte Ltd. Location :Just Wine, 23 Pahang Street.Date/ Time : 10th November 2006, Friday,7.00pm to 9.00 pm.

Wine Tasting session with refreshment, together with extra bottles of wine for further tasting.
Catered to : 30 plus people. You are welcome to bring along your spouse or guest, Other Non event participant Smart.com members are also welcome.

For SMART 8 participants- FOC.
For SMART 8 participant's spouse- $10 per person.
For non- participant Smart member or their spouse - $10 per person.
For guest- $20 per person.

Speakers profile: Mr Tan Ru-Jin; Certified speaker for Wine Association.
WSET(UK)Distinction and member of Chevalier des Vigneron de Vacqueryas

Type of wines to be tasted.

1. Vacqueryas Signeur Fontimple Rose 2004 (Rose Wine)
2. Le Merlot dela Vaucluse 2004 (Red Wine)
3. Cote du Rhone Privilege des Vigneron (Red Wine)
4. Cote du Rhone Domaine de la Maurelle(Red Wine)
5. Muscat Beaumes du Venise 2005 (Dessert Wine)

SPONSORS

If any of you wish to sponsor some bottle of wines for the event's lunch session, please let us know as Roos Cellar can make arrangement to deliver the wines from thier KL office to Pulai Spring Resort for that purpose.

(Please do us a favour, in your returm mail to us, whether you intend to participate or otherwise, kindly provide a positive comformation by indicating YES or No, or with spouse, or with ? number of friends by 2nd November 2006to enable us to make a proper arrangement with the sponsor)

Thank you for your support
Best regards,

On behalf of the OC
FH Wong

S/N

Name

M/ship Number

Joint first time?

T Shirt

Dec'red h/cap

Revalidated h/cap (Smart.7)

Revalidated h/cap (Smart.6)

Revalidated h/cap (Smart.8)

Smart.comMember

1

Toa Sin Min

T07711

M

5

6

5

Y

2

ANDY CHAN

BB5008

Y

M

9

7

N

3

Leow Mee Yak, May

C09717-1

Y

M

10

8

Y

4

Melvin Aw

BB3072

XL

12

9

9

Y

5

Steven Ho

H10331

XL

9

9

9

Y

6

Andrew Lim

L02635S1

M

11

11

11

Y

7

Jeffery Tan Meng Wah

T00788

XL

12

11

11

Y

8

Eric Goh Eng Kee

G09622

L

12

12

12

Y

9

Tai Hwee Tiong

T10110

XL

12

12

12

Y

10

Alan Koh

K09268

L

14

14

14

Y

11

Anthony Cheng

C03282

L

17

14

14

Y

12

Joe Wong

E038621

Y

L

16

14

N

13

Willie Chia

C10117

XL

17

14

14

Y

14

Chua Hock Wah

C05505

XL

17

15

15

Y

15

Bernard Goh

B08809

Y

XL

18

16

N

16

MARCUS LIU

LN10179

Y

XL

18

16

N

17

Thomas Ng

N06941

XL

18

16

16

Y

18

HO KIM PING

HN5733

Y

L

20

17

N

19

Goh Chee Sian

GN6627

L

18

18

18

Y

20

Roy Khoo

S03328T1

L

18

18

18

Y

21

Koh Hock Chok

KO0659

XL

21

19

Y

22

RICHARD LAM

L00843

Y

L

22

19

N

23

Yiong Chee Mun

YO 9592

Y

XL

22

19

N

24

Markus Dolenga

BB6189

XL

20

20

20

Y

25

Arthur Quek

BB5141

XXL

22

21

21

Y

26

Raymond Sng

BA6109

Y

L

24

21

N

27

Tang Wai Hong

BB3103

L

21

21

21

Y

28

Wong Fook Heng

WO9516

L

24

21

21

Y

29

Ng Chong Liang

N00343

L

23

22

22

Y

30

Richard Chee

CN6839

M

22

24

22

Y

31

Grace Lim Lay Hua

T00788/01

S

25

23

23

N

32

Chew Chin Seng

CN8191

XL

24

24

24

Y

33

Desmond Tan

BB3075

M

24

24

24

Y

34

Jefferey Teo Kwang Seah

To be given

M

24

24

24

Y

35

Jimmy Kasenda

K01601

XL

24

24

24

Y

36

Jou Hong San

To be given

XL

24

24

24

Y

37

Lee Kwek Kiong

L10080

XL

24

24

24

Y

38

Peter Heng

T09651T1

L

24

24

24

Y

39

Peter Lim

BB1202

L

24

24

24

Y

40

Richard Kwok

K02409

M

24

24

24

Y

41

Roger Seah

N10096-01

M

24

24

Y

42

Soon Chee Siong

MO1192T1

L

24

24

24

Y

43

Terrence Chan

BB5109

L

24

24

24

Y

44

Thomas Er

E02991

XL

24

24

24

Y

45

Tracy Gonh

G09817

Y

M

27

24

N

46

William Soh

S06795

M

24

24

Y

47

Wong Lock Weng

W03295

XL

24

24

24

Y

48

Amy Chee

E038621-01

Y

S

28

25

N

49

Cynthia Khoo

C10117-01

Y

S

34

31

N

Revalidation for 1st Timer

(2 points for h.cap 1 to 18, 3 points for 19 onwards)

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#175 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Wed Oct 25, 2006 3:08 pm
Subject: Participant's List update + Wine Appreciation sunzi8888
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Dear all,

Please be informed that as of today, we have 49 participants signed up for the Smart.com Golf Challenge 8. Please refer to the spreadsheet below to find out whether your details are correctly stated especially your handicap, membership number and Polo shirt size (any changes to the Polo shirt size need to inform us by 29th October 2006). For those who has not yet registered in the Smart.com website as indicated in pink colour, kindly experdite the registration process in order to avoid any unnecessary DQ on lucky draw and trophy winning entitlements.

Latest date of withdrawal : If you are not able to participate due to any unforseen reasons, kindly inform us on/ before 2 November 2006. Failing which will resulted in non-cancellation of your fees as we need to provide sufficient time for the club to take care of the changes.

WINE TASTING AND APPRECIATION

The venue and timing for wine tasting are as follows:

EVENT SPONSOR: Roos Cellar Pte Ltd. Location :Just Wine, 23 Pahang Street.Date/ Time :10th November 2006, Friday,7.00pm to 9.00 pm.

Wine Tasting session with refreshment, together with extra bottles of wine for further tasting.
Catered to : 30 plus people. You are welcome to bring along your spouse or guest, Other Non event participant Smart.com members are also welcome.

For SMART 8 participants- FOC.
For SMART 8 participant's spouse- $10 per person.
For non- participant Smart member or their spouse - $10 per person.
For guest- $20 per person.

Speakers profile: Mr Tan Ru-Jin; Certified speaker for Wine Association.
WSET(UK)Distinction and member of Chevalier des Vigneron de Vacqueryas

Type of wines to be tasted.

1. Vacqueryas Signeur Fontimple Rose 2004 (Rose Wine)
2. Le Merlot dela Vaucluse 2004 (Red Wine)
3. Cote du Rhone Privilege des Vigneron (Red Wine)
4. Cote du Rhone Domaine de la Maurelle(Red Wine)
5. Muscat Beaumes du Venise 2005 (Dessert Wine)

SPONSORS

If any of you wish to sponsor some bottle of wines for the event's lunch session, please let us know as Roos Cellar can make arrangement to deliver the wines from thier KL office to Pulai Spring Resort for that purpose.

(Please do us a favour, in your returm mail to us, whether you intend to participate or otherwise, kindly provide a positive comformation by indicating YES or No, or with spouse, or with ? number of friends by 2nd November 2006 to enable us to make a proper arrangement with the sponsor)

Thank you for your support
Best regards,

On behalf of the OC
FH Wong

S/N	Name	M/ship Number	Joint first time?	T Shirt	Dec'red h/cap	Revalidated h/cap (Smart.7)	Revalidated h/cap (Smart.6)	Revalidated h/cap (Smart.8)	Smart.comMember
1	Toa Sin Min	T07711		M	5	6		5	Y
2	ANDY CHAN	BB5008	Y	M	9			7	N
3	Leow Mee Yak, May	C09717-1	Y	M	10			8	Y
4	Melvin Aw	BB3072		XL	12	9		9	Y
5	Steven Ho	H10331		XL	9	9		9	Y
6	Andrew Lim	L02635S1		M	11	11		11	Y
7	Jeffery Tan Meng Wah	T00788		XL	12	11		11	Y
8	Eric Goh Eng Kee	G09622		L	12	12		12	Y
9	Tai Hwee Tiong	T10110		XL	12	12		12	Y
10	Alan Koh	K09268		L	14		14	14	Y
11	Anthony Cheng	C03282		L	17	14		14	Y
12	Joe Wong	E038621	Y	L	16			14	N
13	Willie Chia	C10117		XL	17	14		14	Y
14	Chua Hock Wah	C05505		XL	17		15	15	Y
15	Bernard Goh	B08809	Y	XL	18			16	N
16	MARCUS LIU	LN10179	Y	XL	18			16	N
17	Thomas Ng	N06941		XL	18	16		16	Y
18	HO KIM PING	HN5733	Y	L	20			17	N
19	Goh Chee Sian	GN6627		L	18	18		18	Y
20	Roy Khoo	S03328T1		L	18	18		18	Y
21	Koh Hock Chok	KO0659		XL	21			19	Y
22	RICHARD LAM	L00843	Y	L	22			19	N
23	Yiong Chee Mun	YO 9592	Y	XL	22			19	N
24	Markus Dolenga	BB6189		XL	20	20		20	Y
25	Arthur Quek	BB5141		XXL	22	21		21	Y
26	Raymond Sng	BA6109	Y	L	24			21	N
27	Tang Wai Hong	BB3103		L	21	21		21	Y
28	Wong Fook Heng	WO9516		L	24	21		21	Y
29	Ng Chong Liang	N00343		L	23	22		22	Y
30	Richard Chee	CN6839		M	22	24		22	Y
31	Grace Lim Lay Hua	T00788/01		S	25	23		23	N
32	Chew Chin Seng	CN8191		XL	24	24		24	Y
33	Desmond Tan	BB3075		M	24	24		24	Y
34	Jefferey Teo Kwang Seah	To be given		M	24	24		24	Y
35	Jimmy Kasenda	K01601		XL	24	24		24	Y
36	Jou Hong San	To be given		XL	24		24	24	Y
37	Lee Kwek Kiong	L10080		XL	24	24		24	Y
38	Peter Heng	T09651T1		L	24	24		24	Y
39	Peter Lim	BB1202		L	24	24		24	Y
40	Richard Kwok	K02409		M	24	24		24	Y
41	Roger Seah	N10096-01		M	24			24	Y
42	Soon Chee Siong	MO1192T1		L	24	24		24	Y
43	Terrence Chan	BB5109		L	24	24		24	Y
44	Thomas Er	E02991		XL	24	24		24	Y
45	Tracy Gonh	G09817	Y	M	27			24	N
46	William Soh	S06795		M	24			24	Y
47	Wong Lock Weng	W03295		XL	24		24	24	Y
48	Amy Chee	E038621-01	Y	S	28			25	N
49	Cynthia Khoo	C10117-01	Y	S	34			31	N



		Revalidation for 1st Timer
		(2 points for h.cap 1 to 18, 3 points for 19 onwards)

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#174 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:06 am
Subject: ***[SUSPECTED SPAM]*** breast chip richardnicol...
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Date: 10/12/06 05:47:55
Subject: News Release

Microsoft reported today that it has developed
computer chips that can store and play music inside
women's breasts.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because
women are always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.

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#173 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Tue Oct 17, 2006 3:12 am
Subject: ***[SUSPECTED SPAM]*** Inner peace richardnicol...
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I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we
all could use more calm in our lives.

By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally
found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace was to finish all the
things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I
started and hadn't finished; and before leaving the house this morning I
finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of
Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos,

the remainder of the Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake,
Doritos and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how good I feel.

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#172 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Mon Oct 16, 2006 7:01 am
Subject: SMART.COM (8) GOLF CHALLENGE sunzi8888
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Dear all,

As of today, the OC has obtained the following items and event from the various sponsors. Thanks to the hardwork from the various smart.com team members, and also the generousity of the various sponsors who has placed serious emphasis in these continuous golfing events.

Updates on lucky draw prices and goody bags:

1 Zen MP3 Players (Creative brand) and
1 digital camera - sourced by Roy Khoo.
6 boxes of golf balls and 30 plus mini golf towels- sponsored by Melvin Aw.
Polo shirt for all and 20 plus goodies - sponsored by Richard Chee.

There will be a wine talk and wine testing session to be held before the event, for those who is interested or keen to know more about the various wines, it is good to go through it while having fun in gathering with other smart members.

The OC hope that by having this wine sessions, it can further enrich you with the necessary social knowledge and make the smart team members become an expert not only in golf games.
The time and place will be announced later once it is fixed.

Current registration status.

The following are the current status of registration. 32 members has been registered so far. For those who is still fixing their travelling schedules or still not yet sure about their availability , please come back to us once it is finalised. If you have friends wish to join, please also provide details to us.

Below are the list of participants with details, you are required to check the the correctness of the details and also advise us on areas highlighted in yellow. If we have missed out any participants who has been registered earlier, please also highlight to us.

DATE : 11.11.2006 , SATURDAY, 8.15AM
EVENT : SMART.COM (8) GOLF CHALLENGE
VENUE : PULAI SPRINGS RESORT BERHAD, PULAI COURSE

S/N	Name	T Shirt	Dec'red h/cap	Contact	E-Mail
1	Andrew Lim	M		96960335	andrew@...
2	Anthony Cheng	L	17	93875592	ACheng@...
3	Arthur Quek	XXL	22	97912662	arthur.quek@...
4	Chew Chin Seng	XL	24	98249276	cchinse1@...
5	Chua Hock Wah	XL	17	98480338	hockwah.chua@...
6	Cindy Lee			81139154	francescacindy@...
7	Desmond Tan	M	24	98774477	desmond5863@...
8	Eric Goh Eng Kee	L	12	90692502	ericgohek@...
9	Goh Chee Sian	L	22	97537895	Goh.CheeSian@...
10	Jefferey Teo Kwang Seah	M	24	90223697	jteo@...
11	Jimmy Kasenda	XL	24	81338118	jimykas@...
12	Jou Hong San	XL			<Jouhs@...>
13	Lee Kwek Kiong	XL		98755800	kwekkiong.lee@...
14	Markus Dolenga	XL	20	81128488	markus.dolenga@...
15	Melvin Aw	XL	12	90707000	melvin.aw@...
16	Richard Chee	M	22	96150551	richard@...
17	Richard Kwok	M	24	96701811	richard@...
18	Roger Lee Kum Wah	XL	24	91084633	rogerlee@...
19	Roy Khoo	L	18	90473299	roykhoo@...
20	Soon Chee Siong	L	24	96192948	cssoon@...
21	Steven Ho	XL	9	93888866	steven_ho60@...
22	Tai Hwee Tiong	XL	12	90184011	taih@...
23	Tang Wai Hong	L	21	91803716	whtang@...
24	Terrence Chan	L	24	97533778	taiweechan@...
25	Thomas Er	XL	24	96478285	sce20r@...
26	Thomas Ng	XL	18	97333877	thomas.ng@...
27	William Soh	M	24	96340558	bssoh99@...
28	Willie Chia	XL	17	81573601	willie.chia@...
29	Wong Fook Heng	L	21	012 7133776	aspl@...
30	Wong Lock Weng	XL	24
31	Tracy Go	M	22	97634961	tracy.gonh@...
32	Leow Mee Yek, May		10	012 7533300
33	Susie Lee	M

Best regards,

On behalf of the OC

Wong Fook Heng

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#170 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:28 am
Subject: SMART.Com Challenge 8 Guidelines on HCP & OCB sunzi8888
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SMART.Com Challenge 8

Guidelines on HCP & OCB

A) Handicap (HCP)

1) One HCP point cut shall be applied for every 2 stableford-points above 36, subject to a max cut of 3 per event.

2) HCP cut shall be applied to trophy-winners only. Non winner shall not subject to HCP cut.

3) There shall be no auto-review on SMART.com's revalidated HCP unless an appeal is made in writing to the HCP committee.

4) Appeal must be supported in writing by FOUR SMART.com members.

5) Appeal must show evidence of poor performance at the last two SMART.com events, min of 4 points above HCP per event.

6) No appeal will be entertained for any submission made less than 2 weeks before the date of the event.

7) Upward adjustment is one HCP point for every 4 stableford-points below 36, subject to a max adjustment of 2 HCP points per appeal and 3 HCP points per year, respectively.

8) Men HCP shall be capped at 24 and Ladies at 36.

9) Prior to announcing the results, all winners must produce their latest Pulai Springs' HCP, with a max of 2-month validity. If Pulai Springs's HCP is lower than declared HCP, this will result in auto-disqualification.

10) For first timers, HCP cut shall be 2 for HCP between 0 to 18, and 3 for HCP between 19-24, respectively. The respective HCPs will be automatically revalidated for subsequent event.

B) Official Count Back (OCB)

1) Gross Score category: OCB on gross score from hole 18, 17�..1.

2) Sableford category : OCB on stableford-points from B9, F9, B6, F6, B3, F3. If this is still tie, OCB on gross score from hole 18, 17�..1.

Issued by

Handicap Committee

SMART.com Challenge 8

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#169 From: "Soon Chee Siong" <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:26 am
Subject: SMART.com CHALLENGE 8 sunzi8888
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Dear All SMART.com members,

IT IS ALMOST HALF A YEAR SINCE THE LAST ROUND OF SMART COMPETITION, IT IS NOW SHOW TIME AGAIN!!!

WE WANT TO SEE HOW WELL YOU HAVE POLISH YOUR SKILL OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS, SO PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR OFFICE BRIEFCASE AND JOIN US FOR COMMING GOLF CHALLENGE!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen,
WELCOME TO THE

SMART.com CHALLENGE 8

Time: 11 NOVEMBER 2006
saturday morning
PULAI COURSE
Tee Off time: 8.03 am onwards
PRICE: S$50 for Pulai Spring Members
S$150 for Non Pulai Spring Members
For PSR affiliated members,please contact us for arrangement.

OPEN FOR REGISTRATION

FROM MONDAY 9.10.2006 to 20.10.2006

12 flights (48 places) are presently secured. The registration is on first come first serve basis. In the event that there are more than 48 participants, the Organising Committe will strive the very best to obtain more places, however, there is no promise for the availability due to the timing of play falls on the golden hours of each week. You are therefore encourage to make an early registration in order to ensure that you won't miss the boat.

EARLY BIRD REGISTRATION

IF YOU REGISTER BETWEEN 09.10.2006 TO 12.10.2006, YOU STAND A CHANCE FOR THE LUCKY DRAW OF TWO SPECIAL GIFTS WORTH AT LEAST S$50.00 EACH!!!

Please provide the following details to confirm your participation and get ready to show your true colour!!!

Name:
Membership Number:
T-shirt Size (Asian size)
Your current PSR handicap/

(Home ground handicap for non PSR members)

To ensure complete registration, all participants must e-mail and copy all of the following e-mail address to avoid dispute on timing record.

to 1) Eric Goh at ericgohek@...
2) Wong Fook Heng at aspl@... and wongfookheng@...
3) Roy Khoo at roykhoo@...
4) HS Jou at Jouhs@...

You are encouraged to invite your friends to join the Smart.com Group and/or participate in the event. As some of the members might be out of town, please also inform them for registration if you know that they intend to take part in the competition.

Organizing Committee
Eric Goh (Chairman)
Roy Khoo
Wong Fook Heng
HS Jou

Handicap Committee

Melvin Aw
Anthony Cheng
Alan Koh

Competition Format
Stableford

Tournament Trophy Winners
Overall Champion: Lowest Gross Score (One Winner)
Division A (Top 3 Highest Stableford Score)
Division B (Top 3 Highest Stableford Score)

DIVISION OF CATEGORY

OVERALL GROSS, A & B

Subject to the number of participants, the division of A & B categories shall be determined by the Organizing Committee. All registered players will be notified of his/her SMART.com Challenge 8 revalidated HCP as verified by the Handicap Committee in due course

All players stand a chance to be the overall champion. However, if Division A/B champion is also the overall champion, he/she will only take the position as overall champion and the position in the Division will be taken by the runners up automatically.

Fee (as mentioned on top portion)

fee includes buggy fee, mineral water, green fee, goodies bag, lucky draw prizes and post game lunch.

The first 48 registered participant will receive an elegantly designed T-shirt with SMART.com logo, the rest are subject to availability.

Rules and Regulations

Ties

Official count back ("OCB") on stableford-points from B9, F9, B6, F6, B3, F3. If this is still tie, OCB on gross score from hole 18, 17��..1.

Upon the request by OC/HC, player shall produce a valid HCP card of not more than 2

months failing which will result in automatic disqualification.

Please refer to the attached guidelines for more details.

Bad Weather Contingency Plan

Should the occurrence of inclement weather result in the competitors inability to complete 9 holes, the competition is deemed to be cancelled. All trophies shall be kept for the next competition. Lucky draw prizes will continue to be given away.

If at least 9 holes has been completed, the first 9 completed holes will be used in determining the results.

SPONSORS

We appreciates and welcome all sponsors, in whatever form, value or quantity. All sponsors will be acknowledged.

If you wish to be a sponsor for the event or know of a company that may wish to sponsor such events, do direct your sponsorship or the name of the prospective sponsor to :

Eric Gof at ericgohek@...
Roy Khoo at roykhoo@...

Amendments

The Organizing Committee reserves the rights to amend the Rules and Regulations, the HCP and OCB guidelines of the tournament from time to time as they deem fit and all decisions made shall be final.

BEST OF LUCK TO ALL PARTICIPANTS.

Wong Fook Heng
on behalf of
the Organizing Committee
SMART.com Challenge 8

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#168 From: "Jeffrey TEO TENARIS" <jteo@...>
Date: Mon Oct 9, 2006 2:33 am
Subject: RE: Beware of people looking over your shoulder jteosti
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pls click the link below and enjoy!!!

http://users.skynet.be/pdauwe/ursula_martinez.wmv

where she hide the small piece of cloth!!!!

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#167 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Mon Oct 9, 2006 2:05 am
Subject: The price of growing old richardnicol...
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Hard of hearing
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Body ache and loss of motor skills
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really !? Like a newborn baby !?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants".

Forgetful
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly". The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

Husband & Wife being forgetful
During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream ?" "Sure." "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it ?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it ?"
He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll
forget that, write it down ?" she asks.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake !"
Then he toddles to the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment. "Where's my toast?"

Heart Problem
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"

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#166 From: sun zi <sunzi8888@...>
Date: Tue Oct 3, 2006 1:57 pm
Subject: Fwd: Fw: IF YOU DRIVE TO JB FOR FOOD OR RECREATION, HERE'S ONE MORE REAL-CASE WARNING sunzi8888
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From:
Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:26 PM
Subject: IF YOU DRIVE TO JB FOR FOOD OR RECREATION, HERE'S ONE MORE REAL-CASE WARNING

A PUBLIC-AWARENESS SERVICE

Be warned !!

From: ( Name withheld at request of last writer )
Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:02 PM
To: Young Kuan-Sing
Subject: Please help to broadcast

Hi Mr Young,

I often receive your emails and information.

I would like to relate to you what happened to us this morning.

On our way to Malaysia, most of the time, we will drop by this famous restaurant known as Restaurant Ah Koong Sdn Bhd (located at 266, Jalan Sutera, Taman Sentosa, 80150, Johor Bahru. Tel: 07-3313621). JB As recommended by friends, this restaurant serves good noodles, fish balls, yong tau foo and most importantly, they have an open carpark directly opposite the restaurant where we could watch our car and eat at the same time.

We were there this morning between 10.30am to 10.45am. As usual, we parked at the open carpark and have our meal at the restaurant. After we had our meal, we walked back to our car around 11.15am; we were shocked by the sight of our car (see pictures enclosed). There are some blood stains left by the culprit who smashed the window. Our smart tag machine, cash card and a pair of ladies sunglass were found missing. Luckily, we had locked our notebooks in the car boot.

To our surprise, within the next 5 mins, a guy from a nearby repair shop asked whether we have any intentions to repair and he offered us his service to repair at his nearby workshop. We decided to head straight home after this incident and have our car repaired in Singapore.

What surprises us most is that Restaurant Ah Koong Sdn Bhd hired many staff who stands outside the restaurant to cook and serve customers and the carpark located directly opposite. Everybody claimed that they don�t know anything and they have not seen anything. A driver of a Singapore plated car who parked next to our vehicle told us that about 20 mins ago when he parked his car, the incident has already happened.

Appreciate your kind assistance to broadcast to your friends if possible to caution Singaporeans to be extra careful when they drive to Malaysia for leisure or work.

Please conceal my identity whenever possible.

Thank you.

Real people. Real questions. Real answers. Share what you know.

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#165 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:51 am
Subject: Boys richardnicol...
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Three third graders, an Irish kid, an Italian kid and a Hillbilly
kid are in the playground at recess. One of them suggests that they play
a new game.

"Let's see who has the largest weenie," he says.
"Okay." They all agree.

The Italian kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.

"That's nothing," says the Irish kid. He whips his out. His is a
couple of inches longer.

Not to be outdone, the Hillbilly kid whips his out. It is by far the
biggest.

That night, eating dinner at home, the Hillbilly kid's mother asks
him what he did at school today.

"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud
from a new book. And during recess, my friends and I
played 'Let's see who has the largest weenie."

"What kind of game is that, honey?" asks the mother.

"Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies and I had
the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm a Hillbilly. Is that
true, Mom?"

Mom replies, "No, Honey. It's because you're twenty-three.

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#164 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Mon Sep 11, 2006 6:13 am
Subject: Aloha! richardnicol...
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Two priests decided to go to Hawaii for a vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning, they went to the beach dressed in their "tourist"
garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "Good morning, Father, Good morning, Father." nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store & bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them.

Once again, the two priests settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a while, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a G-string, taking her sweet time, came walking towards them.

Again, she nodded at each of them, said "Good morning, Father." and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said. "Just a minute young lady." "Yes," she replied. "We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?"

You're going to love this one.....................................

Scroll down

The blonde turned around and replied, "Father, it's me, Sister Angela."

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#163 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Mon Sep 4, 2006 4:01 am
Subject: Innovative delivery method richardnicol...
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>, the Chinese
> ways...forget about DHL, UPS or
> even FedEx !!! Enjoy Reading.....
>
> *A  family in the Southern Province of China, were
> puzzled when the
> coffin of  their dead grandmother arrived from the
> States. It was sent by
> one of the  daughters. The dead body was so tightly
> squeezed inside the
> coffin, with no  space left in it! When they opened
> the lid, they found a
> letter on top;  which read as follows:*
>
> Dear Cousins,
>
> I am sending Ahma body to  you since it was her wish
> that she should be
> cremated in the compound of our  ancestral home in
> Tung Shin. Sorry, I
> could not come along as all of my paid  leaves are
> consumed.
>
> You will find inside the coffin, under Ahma's body,
> 12 cans of
> *Yohmeitsu*, 10 packets of *Swiss chocolates* ! and
> packets of  Chinatown
> *Lap Cheong*. Please divide these among all of you.
>
> On  Ahma's feet you will find a new pair of *Nike
> Air shoes* (size 10)
> for Ah  boy. Also, there are 2 pairs of *shoes *for
> Ah Mei's and Ah
> Lien's sons.  Hope the sizes are correct.
>
> Ahma is wearing 6 *CK T-Shirts*. The large  size is
> for Ah Bak and the
> others are for my nephews. Just distribute them
> among yourselves.
>
> The 2 new* Armani Jeans* that Ahma is wearing are
> for  the boys.
>
> The *Rolex watch* that Lee Ah Bai wanted is on
> Ahma's left  wrist.
>
> Kiasu Aunty Pei Pei, Ahma is wearing the *Tiffany
> necklace*,  *earrings*
> and *ring* that you asked for. Please take them.
>
> The 6  *white Polo cotton socks* that Ahma is
> wearing must be divided
> among my  teenage cousins.
>
> Let me know what else you need as *Ah Kong** *is
> also  not keeping well
> nowadays. I can send all required things when our Ah
> Kong  goes back
> too............

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#162 From: "Richard Chee" <richard@...>
Date: Tue Aug 29, 2006 12:32 am
Subject: toast richardnicol...
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John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said,"Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

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