A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes
off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite brunette
walks by and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his
erection, comes over to him and says, "Sir, did you call for me?" The man
replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here, let me
explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called
for me." Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down
on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with
her.

The man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna
and as he sat down he farted. Within a few minutes a huge, obese, hairy man
lumbers out of the steam toward him. "Did you call for me?" says the hairy
man. "No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new here," says
the hairy man, "it's a rule here that if you fart, it implies that you
called for me." The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench
and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where the smiling, naked
receptionist greets him. "May I help you?" she says. The man yells, "Here is
my membership card, you can have the key back, and you can keep the
$50,000 membership fee." "But sir," she replies, "you've only been here for
a few hours, you haven't even had the chance to see all our facilities."

The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 58 years old; I get a hard-on once a
month, but I fart 15 times a day."