Edmund was moderately successful golfer, but as he got older he was
increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. His golf, personal
hygiene and love life started to suffer, he managed to push on, but
when his game turned really sour he sought medical help. After being
referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across Dr. A
Els who solved the problem.

"The good news is I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it
will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes
your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The
pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the
pressure and allow your swing to work again is to remove the
testicles.", said Dr A Els.

Edmund was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to
live for, but then figured at least he could play reasonable good
golf again, perhaps be a champion at the next SMART.com Challenge. He
decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the
hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an
important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realised
that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning,
swing free, and live a new life. He went to the club for a drink and
as he walked past the Pro shop thought, "That's what I need: a new
outfit."

He entered the shop and told Alan, the salesman, "I'd like some new
golf slacks." Alan eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see . . .size 44
long." Edmund laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my
job." Edmund tried on the slacks, they fitted perfectly. As Edmund
admired himself in the mirror, Alan asked, "How about a new shirt,
I've got some great new Nicklaus stock."

Edmund thought for a moment and then said, "Sure . ." . Alan eyed
Edmund and said,"Let's see. . .34 sleeve and . . . 16 and and half
neck" Edmund was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's
my job." Edmund tried on the shirt, and it fitted perfectly. As
Edmund adjusted the collar in the mirror, Alan asked, "How about new
shoes, we just got new stock with soft spikes" Edmund was on a roll
and agreed. Alan said, "Let's see. . .9 and a half. . . wide."

Edmund was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my
job." Desmund tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Edmund
walked comfortably around the shop and Alan asked, "How about a new
hat?" Without hesitating, Edmund said, "Sure . . " Alan eyed Edmund's
head and said, "Let's see. . .7 5/8." Edmund was really
impressed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly. Edmund was feeling great, when Alan
asked, "How about some new underwear, got some great new designer
stock." Edmund thought for a second and said, "Sure . . ". Alan
stepped back, eyed Edmund's waist and said, "Let's see. . size 36."
Edmund laughed, "Woahahaheee...No! Man, you've got it wrong this
time. I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old!"

Alan shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34 - every time you
swing it would press your testicles up against the base of your spine
and give you one hell of a headache."