Okay guys. Forgive me, but I did find these punny. I mean funny. As you all
know, it doesn't take much to amuse me.

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it, too.

4. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked
them to disperse."But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open
foyer."

7. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain;
they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan
sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture,she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds,"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from
the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was
unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went
back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist
hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so,
thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. We all know who Gandhi was, right? He was a spiritual man who fasted
regularly. Some may not realize that fasting, when practiced regularly and
for extended periods, leads not only to weight loss, but can also cause bad
breath. No matter, his interests were higher. This great leader hardly ever
wore shoes. One might say he was ... a super-calloused fragile mystic
plagued with halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.