Dear Half-Minds of the LVH3:

Your hash needs you.  Now is the time for our AGM (annual general meeting).  This BRIEF ceremony will be held at the next hash (4/21)and will solidify the mismanagement that will guide our kennel through the next calendar year.  Below are the “job” descriptions for what is available.  If all you can do as part of our fine hash is just show up every once in a while for trail, excellent.  However, if your power-grubbing type-A personality traits are getting the better of you, and can no longer be restrained, then this is the day for you!  Stage a coup, take something over, cram your two cents in!  If your life (or lack there of…)  is such that you can spare a little extra time to the hash  in order to keep it flowing smoothly, consider running for mismanagement.  Please check out the job descriptions below and think about taking part by nominating yourself.  If not, PLEASE CONSIDER NOMINATING FELLOW HASHERS for the positions.  You can email your nominations to the group list, or to me individually, and I’ll keep track for the AGM.  Current mismanagement includes:

GM                  Quick-n-Little

Joint Master      Ateapuss Complex

RA                   Holy Sh*t

Hash Cash        Tator Tots

Hare-raiser       Succubus

Hash Flash        Beaver Fever

Hash Horn        Grabbag

On-On!

Quick-n-Little

GRAND MASTER: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather (s)he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) (S)he leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, (s)he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below all other positions of mismanagement in real importance to the hash.

RELIGIOUS ADVISOR: Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. The hasher with the worst voice and best memory for weird songs and heinous crimes committed by the assembled group of hashers. Responsible for welcoming new hashers, and running religion (the circle). Everything, including the weather, can be blamed on the Religious Advisor.  (S)e is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash.

HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the mismanagement well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it.

HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.

HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to turn in the camera to the webmaster after the hash.

HASH HORN: Equipment requirements: A bugle or other appropriate wind instrument. Performance venue: The hash trail. Musical ability: Optional.  Blow that horn and send the pack on their way!