DILLONITIS: A TAXONOMY
by R. E. Lohderer, M.D., Ph.D.

To date, research on health problems related to the hobby of
reloading have focused primarily on ingestion of lead dust and on
repetitive-motion injuries to the right arm and shoulder. This
research has ignored a family of potentially debilitating disorders
that have come to be known as "Dillonitis."

Dillonitis affects higher brain functions, affecting judgement and
social skills. While some forms of Dillonitis can actually lead
indirectly to physical injury, the primary effect of Dillonitis is to
cause inappropriate behavior that leaves the sufferer socially
isolated.

ETIOLOGY
The incidence of Dillonitis is fairly small. These disorders only
afflict those who own and use reloading equipment manufactured by
Dillon Precision in Arizona; owners of reloading equipment from
Hornady, Lee and RCBS are not affected.

Moreover, not all owners of Dillon equipment are afflicted with any
form of Dillonitis. Approximately 20% of those who purchase and use
Dillon equipment will actually develop Dillonitis. Unfortunately, the
noisome social behavior of those affected by Dillonitis leads to a
discriminatory effect that causes many people to shun anybody who
owns Dillon products--even the majority who remain rational and
behave in a socially appropriate manner.

It is clear, therefore, that exposure to Dillon equipment is the
inciting factor. However, the relatively low incidence of Dillonitis
among those who use Dillon equipment indicates that exposure to
Dillon equipment interacts with some other characteristic of the
owner to create Dillonitis. Whether this other characteristic is some
form of personality disorder or a difference in brain chemistry is
open to discussion.

TAXONOMY
There are currently three disorders that have been identified as
members of the Dillonitis family.

Dillonitis Newbyensis
This is a disorder that afflicts those first exposed to Dillon
equipment. This disorder is manifested in a lowering of certain
inhibitions and a marked impairment of decision-making capability.
The primary symptom is the creation of a large number of loaded
rounds using a load recipe obtained from an outside source, without
doing load development in small batches first. The subject manifests
an obsession, bordering on mania, with the number of rounds produced
per hour during the earliest use of the machine.
For some subjects, the ramifications are minor; the sufferer's
inhibitions and decision-making capability slowly return to their
previous levels without the sufferer coming to substantial harm. For
others, Dillonitis Newbyensis can produce one of two effects:
1. The subject blows up his firearm, possibly injuring himself or
those nearby.
2. The subject winds up with a large number of rounds that can't
cycle the slide, or that hit the ground between the firing line and
the target.

Previous use of other reloading equipment, particular a single-stage
press, seems to immunize new Dillon owners against this disorder.

Dillonitis Imperatus
This disorder typically afflicts those who have owned their Dillon
equipment for at least 2-3 months, usually longer. There is no direct
physical danger involved, as there can be with Dillonitis Newbyensis.
Instead, the primary effect of this disorder is to make the
sufferer's social behavior difficult for most people to tolerate and
thus lead to social isolation. Dillonitis Imperatus involves a slight
lowering of select social inhibitions, combined with a reduction in
reasoning ability. The primary symptom of this disorder is
inappropriate responses to questions about reloading and reloading
equipment, frequently combined with a note of condescension or even
outright hostility.

For example, when someone asks "Should I start with a progressive or
a single-stage press?" a Dillon owner who does not suffer from
Dillonitis might respond "You'll wind up with a progressive later, so
you might as well buy one now." However, someone suffering from
Dillonitis Imperatus would make a more hostile comment, like "You're
crazy if you don't start off with a Dillon. Anybody who spends time
reloading on a single-stage is an idiot." This sort of comment
denotes both the reduction in reasoning capability and the reduced
social inhibition.

In more severe cases, the sufferer will ridicule owners of reloading
equipment not made by Dillon. For example, if somebody asks "What's
the best way to adjust the primer feed on a Lee Loadmaster?" a Dillon
owner who does not suffer from Dillonitis Imperatus will make no
comment, because he understands and accepts that he is not equipped
to answer the question. However, someone suffering from Dillonitis
Imperatus will say something along the lines of "Ha! You should have
bought a Dillon! I never have any trouble with the primer feed on my
550!"

In extreme cases, sufferers will give recommendations for Dillon
equipment as responses to questions that have nothing to do with
reloading equipment. For example, if someone asks "What's the best
powder for heavy bullets in .30-06?" a Dillonitis Imperatus sufferer
might respond "Buy a Dillon!"

Dillonitis Defensivus
This disorder is slightly more rare than Dillonitis Imperatus, but it
is common for those afflicted with Dillonitis Defensivus to also
suffer from Dillonitis Imperatus. Like Dillonitis Imperatus, this
disorder combines an impairment of reasoning ability with a reduction
in social inhibition. However, Dillonitis Defensivus manifests itself
in defensive and frequently hostile responses to any suggestions of
problems or shortcomings with Dillon equipment.

For example, if someone asks "Hey, with only four stations on a 550,
you can't really use a powder-check die. Isn't that dangerous?" a
Dillon owner not afflicted with Dillonitis Defensivus might
say "Yeah, you have be careful and look at each powder charge before
you add the bullet." However, someone suffering with Dillonitis
Defensivus would say "Dillon is the most reliable equipment in the
world! The powder measure and the linkage never fail!" Or, if someone
says "I like the 650, but it's a little too expensive," a non-
sufferer might say "I know what you mean...I started off with an SDB,
and traded up over the years." However, a Dillonitis Defensivus
sufferer might say "You should just forget about reloading until you
can afford a 650--we don't need your kind involved in reloading,
anyway."

ROOT CAUSES
Research to date has not been able to isolate the root causes of any
of these disorders. Current indications are that there is something
in the blue paint used by Dillon Precision that has a psychoactive
effect on part, but not all, of the Dillon-owning population.

One controversial study is currently looking at the correlation
between the size of the male reloader's genitalia and the likelihood
of developing Dillonitis. The hostility of many Dillonitis sufferers,
combined with their apparent fixation on the moderately attractive
female models in Dillon promotional materials, has led some
researchers to hypothesize that Dillonitis is merely an unconscious
attempt to compensate for a real or perceived shortcoming.

Research on Dillonitis Newbyensis has focused on two possible
factors:
1. Toluene or similar fumes from the video tape enclosed with the
Dillon machines that have much the same effect as sniffing glue.
2. Subliminal messages hidden in the tape saying "go faster...you
don't need to be careful...be a man...go faster."

Interestingly, much of the funding for research on Dillonitis comes
from a group of healthy Dillon owners. Dillonitis sufferers do not
represent anywhere near a majority of Dillon owners, but they exhibit
such high levels of PITA factor that many healthy, normal Dillon
owners suffer hostile reactions from non-Dillon owners who have been
exposed to the unpleasant social behavior exhibited by people
afflicted with Dillonities.

TREATMENT
Dillonitis is a painful disorder. Other reloaders, tired of the
victim's constant offering of unwanted advice regarding Dillon
equipment, along with their frequent denigration of owners of
perfectly satisfactory non-Dillon equipment, either laugh at the
victim or shun him completely. While some Dillonitis sufferers seem
outwardly not to care about isolation or ridicule, the long-term
effects of such social isolation cannot be denied.

Unfortunately, treatment of Dillonitis is problematic. The most
obvious course is to eliminate any further exposure to Dillon
equipment, but this is so emotionally traumatic (both to the
Dillonitis victim and to those around him) that it is generally not
believed beneficial.

Some experiments have tried supplying victims with other brands of
reloading equipment, in the hope that the sufferer will come to see
that other brands are just as good as Dillon. These experiments have
not been successful, largely because Dillonitis represents a
selective departure from rationality for the victim.

Penile enlargement has been successful in some cases, but this is an
extreme treatment and more research is needed before it can be said
to be reliably effective.

In the meantime, most treatment providers simply ignore Dillonitis
sufferers and hope they go the heck away.
;
;
Currahee