"America's Email"......TRUTH EXISTS.....ONLY FALSEHOOD...HAS TO BE INVENTED....~
WELCOME to the Thursday January 22, 2004 "Field of Dreams Today"...The email you
love to hate.....~ Asooc Editor Pastor G.C Branton III - "America's Pastor" sent
me the following and I thought you would enjoy it......





----- ===PALM SUNDAY===
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny
stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they
were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by. "Wouldn't you know it,
" the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"

===CHILDREN'S SERMON===
One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's
sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed
at the egg and asked the children, "What's in Here?" "I know" a little boy
exclaimed....."Pantyhose!"

===MATRIMONIAL PROPOSAL===
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support
your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

===JUST CURIOUS===
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and
holding".
Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you
let go?"

===THE TITHING===
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed
around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said
loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."

===THE BLESSING===
The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers
before eating?" "No sir," he replied, "We don't have to. My mom is a good
cook!"

===WELCOME TO OUR HOME===
"Oh, I sure am happy to see you, " the little boy said to his grandmother on
his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising
us. The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked. "I heard
him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us
again," the little boy answered.

=== The Mood Ring ===
My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.

=== The Water Pistol ===
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he
discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the
nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm
surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with
water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied. . . "I remember."

=== Half Price ===
US AirWays recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied
their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR
department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the
special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still
pouring in asking, "What trip?"

=== Life After Death ===
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, Sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything
just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your
grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

That's the Thursday "Field".....Be Safe..Be Brave...And Never Let Go..."Sic
Semper Tyrannis"...Let's Roll!!




~ "God Bless America" ~ That's my Field of Dreams ~ Voice Mail ~ 800-699-2466
Box number Baseball1 (2273225501) ~ Email Fax 253-484-6438 ~ John@...
-http://JohnGraham.net ~ Chief Officer of Election ~ Commonwealth of Virginia ~
Notary Public ~ My Star ISC 1045048-7 ~ L# 22 ~ "Sic Semper Tyrannis" ~ "Ne
Oublie" ~ Let's Roll!! ~






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