The day was crisp, the grass freshly trimmed. Everything was
ready and tidy to hold the festivities for Summer Slam 2001 on
August 19, 2001.

A new techological wonder was bestowed upon us as the 505
Hammer was modified to include a laser on its head. A true
state-of-the-art mallet the world has never seen the likes of
before!

The question on everyone's mind was, "Will this give him great
advantage over us? Will he dominate the day and leave us
rolling in the dust?" Or was this just another gee-whiz gadget
that Erik swears to use over and over, all the while he gets
farther and farther behind his competitors. (see game #1,
7/21/2001 with his wedge head and the sewer cap incident...truly
embarassing.)

The first game of the day had to be the most memorable for
several reasons. The Mauler blasted off to an incredible start.
Right from the starting stake he made a run that had all the
players in shock and pooping their trowsers in fear. The Mauler
was utilizing techniques never seen before in Squirearchy play.
He was roll shotting, using cut splits, stop shots all over the
place to perfection. The other players were heard commenting,
"awww, golly Mauler, wenz it gonna be ours turn, huh?" The
Mauler ignored their minor rantings and continued to dominate
half of the field. He was on a run that would look like it shall not
be matched in many years to come. But when it came to the half
stake, he missed it; thereby missing an official half-court run.

The Mauler was heard to say a few moments afterward, "That's
alright, I have the utmost confidence, that I shall strike the fear
in everyone's hearts yet again in the near future."

The father snuk in near the end for first place. Erik had the
chance to finish second and put the Mauler back in the
standings, despit the incredible first half run. But has Erik
prepared for one of his final shots to wrap up the game, the
Father called out to him, "Just make sure you hit your own ball."
But apparently the SOS hammer had it's mind somewhere else
as he hit the Maulers ball with his mallet! A true mental error that
shall never be forgotten...well, in the waterboy's case, I'm sure he
will forget, because he forgot to hit his own ball in the first place.

The Mauler commented later, "I couldn't believe what he was
doing. He was standing right over my ball with that blasted laser.
Even Father warned him. He must have had his noggin in
la-te-toodle-doodle land. Perhaps, he should retreat to playing
Candy Land. I mean really! What in the Queen's name was his
thinking?"

The featured bloodmatch of the day was Peter "Punisher" Kreten
vs. Matt "the Mauler" Maldre.

The Mauler challenged the Punisher to a bloodmatch and after
the first game he proved dominately over the Punisher as the
Punisher was soundly defeated. The Mauler granted the
Punisher's wish of a rematch. It was a close battle by the halfway
mark. But with a mental error, the Mauler chose not to roquet the
Punisher's ball before entering the double halfway wickets,
instead aiming directly for the wicket. And of course his ball stuck
the wicket and the Punisher easily glided by him through the half
stake and onto the 2nd half of the field. The Punisher would hold
onto the lead for the remainder of the game.

So we leave the bloodmatch with tie. A tie that must be broken. A
tie that must be broken at Fallout 1. Yes indeed, this tie shall be
broken, and some one's mallet will be most indoubtedly broken
over their head in defeat.

Who was the winner of Summer Slam? Hard to say, Erik and the
Mauler come very close.
The Mauler played 7 games averaging 66.7 points.
Erik played 5 games averaging 65.0 points.
Father played 4 games averaging 50.0 points.
Punisher played 4 games averaging 39.6 points.

In those 5 matches where Erik and the Mauler directly played
each other, Erik defeated the Mauler twice; and Matt defeated
Erik twice. But the straw breaker is that Erik only garnered two
first place finishes, while the Mauler captured 3 first place
finishes in those 5 matches.

So it would have to be decided that The Mauler is the champion
of the first ever Summer Slam!

Hear ye all!

The beta version of the Chicago Croquet Squirearchy of Gentlefolk's website
is up and ready for viewing!
http://www.spudart.org/chicagocroquet

Right now it's only one page, but you can check it out for it's
funk-a-ragous extreme retro look. When I say "extreme retro" I mean that we
are going way back to 19th century design influences. It'll rock yer
knickers and beshuffle yer britches.

Please take a look at it and give me any feedback...negative or positive.
------------
Here's what I plan on putting on the site:
* Intro page to give a history about our club

* Standings:
    -current club standings (with our state-of-the-art standings system)
    -graphs! to see how well (or not well) you have been doing
    -Extreme Croquet Worldwide standings for our members
    -an explanation of how the standings are calculated
    -archived standings

* Profiles
    -complete with member photos and a photo of their preferred mallet
    -croquet survey that has been filled out (what is your favorite shot,
favorite mallet color, etc)

* Reports
    -the infamous game reports archived

* Fields
    -info on the different fields we play upon

* Rules
    -our version of the rules

* Links
    -links to other croquet places on the web

* How to join our club or the league
------------
Here's the website address again:
http://www.spudart.org/chicagocroquet

If you have any other ideas, please share them with me.
I highly recommend checking out the other extreme croquet sites on the web.
I have a bunch of links at:
http://www.spudart.org/croquet/links/

Our fine Chicago Croquet club on Yahoo has been up for over a
year now (since August 1, 2000). So I thought it would be a good
idea to re-explain the structure of the club.

I just rewrote the description on our Yahoo group:
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
A group of clubs to get together to play croquet in the city of
Chicago and its suburbs. All playing levels welcome...from
expert to never played before.

If you have your own club, you are encouraged to have your club
become a member of the Chicago Croquet League. Through
this league we can organize times to play and where. This
league will also store all results from games played with all the
clubs inside our Chicago Croquet League.

Right now, the only club in the Chicago Croquet League is the
Chicago Croquet Squirearchy of Gentlefolk. We welcome more
clubs to form and join.

If any club of the Chicago Croquet League plays a game, it would
be appreciated if someone can report the results of the game(s).
You don't have to previously announce a game for it to be official.
i.e. If I play with my relatives, I can call that a CCL game. Or if
you
just play with your friends, that can be a CCL game.

But we will have official planned CCL games for everyone to play
too.
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

for the record, I am not Waterboy.

            O
---------------------------     erik maldre / 630-954-4292
C F M D I R E C T     technology manager of creative services

> ----------
> From:  Maldre, Matthew
> Sent:  Friday, August 17, 2001 1:19 PM
> To:  f Kristina Maldre (E-mail);  Erik Maldre (E-mail);
> 'klmaldre@...'; 'matt@...'; Maldre, Matthew;
> 'chicagocroquet@yahoogroups.com'
> Subject:  Croquet Summer Slam at Maldre Yard this Sunday
>
> "Croquet Summer Slam" shall occur in the Maldre Yard on Sunday, August 19.
>
> Attendees already planning on participating are Matt "The Mauler" Maldre
> with "The Terminator", Erik "Waterboy" Maldre with the "SOS Hammer", and
> Mati Maldre with his unnamed croquet mallet.
>
> The Mauler has challenged the Peter "The Black Hen" to the first ever
> "lights out" bloodmatch in Chicago Croquet's history! We are awaiting The
> Black Hen's response.
>
> This shall certainly be a day of extragantal croquetness as foundational
> history shall occur for our club.
> * The name for our club shall be presented on this fair day.
> * Logo options may be presented
> * The database may be completed with new standings
>
> It is realized the WWF Summer Slam shall also occur on Sunday at 7pm, so
> the
> games are encouraged not to overlap this event.
>
>

"Croquet Summer Slam" shall occur in the Maldre Yard on Sunday, August 19.

Attendees already planning on participating are Matt "The Mauler" Maldre
with "The Terminator", Erik "Waterboy" Maldre with the "SOS Hammer", and
Mati Maldre with his unnamed croquet mallet.

The Mauler has challenged the Peter "The Black Hen" to the first ever
"lights out" bloodmatch in Chicago Croquet's history! We are awaiting The
Black Hen's response.

This shall certainly be a day of extragantal croquetness as foundational
history shall occur for our club.
* The name for our club shall be presented on this fair day.
* Logo options may be presented
* The database may be completed with new standings

It is realized the WWF Summer Slam shall also occur on Sunday at 7pm, so the
games are encouraged not to overlap this event.

OOOHHHH YEEEEAHHHH,

I, Matt "The Mauler" Maldre am issuing a challenge to Peter
"Black Hen" Kreten for this Sunday at CROQUET SUMMER SLAM
in Maldre Yard.

BLACK HEN! I want you and your measly mallethead out on the
court so I can whoop yo' candy-a**!

Me and you----one one one in  the Chicago Croquet League's
first ever lights out match! No rules, (uh, well, some rules we
gotta have some rules). No allliances. No title match. No lights!

I'll stomp on you so bad that you won't know what hit ya.

IT'S TRUE, IT'S DEFINITELY TRUE!

~The Mauler

After the first game, the 9-wicket field was quickly disassembled and
we rushed through the rain to meet the deadline of 4pm.

The rain continued to fall throughout dinner and dessert. And what a
fine feast it was. But we could not help but wonder if any more games
where to be played for the rest of the day.

The precipitation finally came to a halt, and we jumped out to play a
second game. The temperature dropped to an agreeable comfort. The sun
hid behind the clouds. It was accorded that we shall play in the open
field, and not under the trees.

This 9-wicket court was set up to be much larger than the previous
regulation court. The largest croquet court our fine club has ever
seen!

Kelly and Matt jumped out to the lead by the fourth hoop.

But by the second half, Erik was a foot away from the centre hoop in
the lead. Matt had just completed the hoop before the centre hoop.
With the hoodlum neighborhood children watching from a nearby bench,
Matt whalloped his ball from an astounding 60 feet away towards the
centre hoop. The ball bounced it's way toward the hoop, it bounced
off the far post and through the hoop! A MOST AMAZING SHOT INDEED!

The savage braggart neighborhood children were exhilirated and
rejoiced the incredible shot. Matt kept his poise like a true
champion. Was it the shot of the day? Matt declined, "No way, my shot
went further, but jeez, Peter's shot went waist-high into the air."

This incredible shot propelled Matt into the lead. If his shot had
merely landed behind the hoop, or in front of it, Erik could have
roqueted Matt's ball and projected himself into the lead. That was a
shot that bona fidedly gave Matt the game.

Matt was the first to stake out. Erik had the opportunity to stake
out second, but he caught a bit of the showboat bug, as he attempted
to make his final hoop striking his ball standing backwards. His ball
stuck to the post, and Kelly zoomed past him for second place. Erik
regrettedly finished third. Peter, the champion of the first game at
Beverly Park, finished fourth.

A third game was under way with lighting and thunder in the
background. The game was called off after it was a quarter of the way
through.

Interviewed after the game about that incredible shot through the
middle hoop, Matt commented, "In a case like that, one would normally
aim for a few feet in front of the hoop, as to not overshoot the ball
on the wrong side. But in that case, I don't know what consecrated
me, but I aimed for the blasted hoop. And well, you know the rest is
unfeignedly obvious."

1. Huh, we all thought it was a cheese grater. That would come in
handy when we need to grate the cheese while playing.

2. The Termainator will go through some fine adjustments to make it
the true killing machine that it is.

3. Yes, I took some artistic liberity with that quote in the game
report, "Yeah, my mallet sucks hard-core." There's nuthin like some
good ol' fiction to toss into the mix. Hmmm, yes, the ol' sewer cap.

4. The record shall be readjusted to reflect that you finished last
and Mike finished fourth.

~matt & the terminator

I have a few corrections to be added to the record.

1)- The 505Hammer does not have a cheese grater at the end. It is a "wood
connector" used to ensure prevention of wood split.

2)- Although The Terminator has a 37 degree angle and The 505 Hammer has a
46 (not 45) degree angle, I would not constitute The Germinator to be
"sharper" than da Hammer. The Fluminator's angle does not slice the entire
height of the the mallet head. There is between one quarter inch and one
half inch of 90 degrees on the mallet of the Poo-pooinator. The Hammer
boasters a true angle that covers the entire height of the mallet.

3)- I never said, "Yeah, my mallet sucks hard-core". Never was that phrase
uttered from my mouth. Yes, I did have troubles on the first match in
beautiful Beverly Park. I had a shakey start, like I usually do in the first
match of competition days. But I felt a momentum charging after I completed
the third gate. It was that freeeeeaking sewer cap that halted all my
momentum.

The
505Hammer
will
make
its
return.

Oh
yes
it
will.

4)- And just for the record, I don't think Mike finished after me. He was
ahead of me when we stopped the game.

The Caddyshack award for the player who does the most
damage to the course, is awarded to Matt Maldre for the damage
incurred right after the Blunder of the Day.

As he was nervously standing on the neighbor's front lawn with
the Terminator mallet in hand, he swung with all his might to
return his ball all the back to the court. But the swing was too
short and the Terminator created a large divot in the neigbhor's
yard.

Matt quickly replaced the divot and striked his ball to cross the
street.

For the origin of the Caddyshack award, go to Berkeley X-treme
Croquet's website at:
http://www.geocities.com/Pipeline/Cliff/6611/awards.html

It was with much anticipation leading up towards the game's
events for July 21, 2001. However, Erik and Matt arrived tardy as
Matt was creating his new secret weapon, and other distractions
at the Maldre household as well.

They finally arrived at 2:45pm at the Kreten's, but there was a
time constraint in place of 4:00pm to finish the first round of
games.

Erik and Matt Maldre arrived with their secret weapons in arm.
They have created their own monstre mallets! "Oh dear, what
does this hold in store for the competition?" Erik designated
"505 Hammer" to his contraption of a 3 foot screw attached to a
wooden block with a cheese grader of all things attached to the
end! The other face of the 505 hammer also boasted a 45
degree angle to give the ball elevation.

Not to be outdone, The Terminator bragged of a 3' 11" length and
a 12" head. It also vaunted a 37 degree angle, one much
sharper than the 505.

These moderne innovations brought many a chuckle to the
Maldre/Kreten/Dunker clan. But what must be going on in the
minds of their competitors, "oh no, we are truly doomed for sure."

We set out to Beverly Park for the first ever game to be played in
this fine large park. The talk of a regulation-size court was the
much ha-doo for weeks beforehand. "What shall it be like to
compete on a true regulation court?" "Who shall come out on top
with this new format?" These and more were the questions on
everybody's mind.

It was a bit of an uncomfortable day with the temperatures way
beyound the what one would brew their tea at. Even the humidity
was so thick, one could cut it in half with their brazen mallet.

A large area in the shade next to the street was spotted, and it
was agreed upon to set up there. "The sun sucks," quipped
Peter Kreten. "Yes, it sucks hard-core," Matt Maldre accorded
with confidence.

The courtly was hastily set up with the 4:00 deadline in mind.
The unit of measurement was truly a foot. The foot of Matt Maldre,
for it was indeed 12 inches long. A regulation court without any
boudaries was in place.

Game play begun.

Erik and Matt soon found out that their mallets did not accord
them an advantage. In fact, they discovered their mallets were a
hinderance to their fine play. "My mallet sucks!" quipped Matt.
"Yeah, my mallet sucks hard-core!" Erik accorded with
confidence.

Peter Kreten quickly impressed all on the court with what would
be definetely "the shot of the day". From the middle hoop (#4), he
shot his ball into the air, WAIST-HIGH and it landed and shot
through the fifth hoop. All were stunned and amazed by this act of
dexterity. "Holy crap! That @#$%ing ball was waist-high in the
air!" cried out Matt Maldre. Peter whooped, "Shot of the day, Shot
of the day!"

This incredible shot pushed Peter ahead of the crowd and into
the lead. A lead he would never relinquish.

The sewer cap just in front of the 6th hoop proved to be much a
challenge to Kelly and Erik. Peter, Matt, and Mike had a few
challenges, but nothing compares to the anguish that Erik
experienced. Over and over he attempted to utilize the angle on
this mallet to propell his ball over the sewer cap and through the
hoop. Did he not learn his lesson that this will not work? Peter
and Matt continued onto the end whilst Erik still struggled with
the sewer. "This sewer thing stinks" Erik commented. Was there
a joke intended? Perhaps? (sewer...stink) The first invocation of
"the 12 shot rule" occured for Erik to pass this treacherous hole.
One that would assuredly give him nightmares for nights to
come.

However, the blunder of the day was about to occur on the other
end of the field. Peter had somewhat nearly wrapped up his
victory as his ball was in the jaws of the 2nd to last hoop. Matt's
ball had just left the 3rd to last hoop. For the past 4 or 5 shots,
Matt declard to Peter that he was playing for 2nd place, Peter had
1st wrapped up. This was true espicially after 3 failed attempts to
roquet Peter's ball on the second half. But then Matt striked his
ball and it miraclously hit Peter's ball! A FINE SHOT INDEED! A
roquet finally shall occur!

It was fate, Matt declared, that he shall whallop the crap out of
Peter's ball to kingdom come. After much strategy and debate on
where Peter's ball shall be deposited, it was decided that it
would be best to propel him into the street for a longer and faster
roll. However, when the shot was taken, Peter's ball hit a nearby
tree, whilst Matt's ball rolled much farther away into a neighbor's
front yard across the street! A TRUE BLUNDER OF THE DAY
INDEED!

Peter easily went on to finish 1st, Matt finished second, Kelly
third, Erik fourth, Mike fifth. Just in time, because the rain had
certainly started to come down in cats and dogs.

The talk of the town for the next few hours was Peter's first
victory.
Was Beverly Park to be his turf? Is Peter the master of the larger
regulation sized court? Will he become unstoppable?

Find out in the next email:
In challenge of the largest croquet court our club has faced.

Ahhhhh, A lass here is my current proposed list of names for our Croquet tr=
ibe.
My favorite by far is Chicagoland Croquet Squirearchy of Gentlefolk. It jus=
t
makes you want to bow to the stick.
Some of the words actually have meaning. I included definitions at the bott=
om.
I just know you all are dying to know what "squirearchy" means.

-erik 'the hammer' maldre

Chicagoland Croquet Big Wigs

The BigWigs of Chicagoland Croquet

Bona Fide Chicagoland Croquet Posse

Chicagoland Croquet Regime of Macaronifolk

Chicagoland Croquet Squirearchy of Gentlefolk

Chicagoland Croquet Magnate Grandee

Chicagoland Zollverein of Croquet

Chicagoland Croquet Cahoot

Chicagoland Croquet BigWig Alliance

Cahooted Chicagoland Croquet League

Chicagoland Croquet Moral Kiosk

Chicagoland Croquet Establishment

Union of Chicagoland Crouqet Kinfolk

Colleagueship of Chicagoland Crouquet Associates

Chicagoland Croquet Common Cause

Chicagoland Croquet Rally Round

Chicagoland Crouqet Finger in Pie Gentlefolk

1-faction
2-horde
3-posse
4-phalanx
5-solidarity
6-cahoot
7-alliance
8-verein
9-bund
10-zollverein
11-junto
12-macaroni
13-regime
14-gran·dee
15-squirearchy
16-pantisocracy
17-esquire
18-bigwig
19-magnate
20-optimacy
21-bona fide

1-fac·tion (fkshn)
n.
1. A form of literature or filmmaking that treats real people or events as =
if
they were fictional or uses real people or events as essential elements in =
an
otherwise fictional rendition.
2. A literary work or film that is a mix of fact and fiction.


2-horde (hôrd, hrd)
n.
1. A large group or crowd; a swarm: a horde of mosquitoes. See Synonyms at =

crowd1.
2.
a. A nomadic Mongol tribe.
b. A nomadic tribe or group.
[Ultimately (via Polish horda), from North-Western Turkic ordï, residence, =

court from Old Turkic ordu.]

3-pos·se (ps)
n.
1. A group of people summoned by a sheriff to aid in law enforcement.
2. A search party.
3. A gang involved in crimes such as running guns and illegal narcotics
trafficking.
4. Slang. A group of friends or associates.
[Short for Medieval Latin posse comitts : Medieval Latin posse, power, body=
  of
men (from Latin, to be able. See potent) + comitts, genitive of comittus,
county.]

4-pha·lanx (flngks, flngks)
n. pl. pha·lanx·es or pha·lan·ges (f-lnjz, f-)
1. A compact or close-knit body of people: "formed a solid phalanx in defen=
se
of the Constitution and Protestant religion" (G.M. Trevelyan).
2. A formation of infantry carrying overlapping shields and long spears,
developed by Philip II of Macedon and used by Alexander the Great.
3. pl. phalanges Anatomy. A bone of a finger or toe. Also called phalange.
4. See phalanstery.
[Latin phalanx, phalang-, from Greek.]

5-sol·i·dar·i·ty (sl-dr-t)
n.
A union of interests, purposes, or sympathies among members of a group;
fellowship of responsibilities and interests: "A downtrodden class... will =

never be able to make an effective protest until it achieves solidarity" (H=
.G.
Wells).
[French solidarité, from solidaire, interdependent, from Old French, in
common, from Latin solidus, solid, whole. See solid.]

6-cahoot \Ca*hoot"\, n. [Perhaps fr. f. cohorte a company or band.] Partner=
ship;
as, to go in cahoot with a person. [Slang, southwestern U. S.]

7-al·li·ance (-lns)
n.
1.
a. A close association of nations or other groups, formed to advance common=

interests or causes: an alliance of labor unions opposing the bill.
b. A formal agreement establishing such an association, especially an
international treaty of friendship.
2. A connection based on kinship, marriage, or common interest; a bond or t=
ie:
the shifting alliances within a large family.
3. Close similarity in nature or type; affinity: the ancient alliance betwe=
en
mathematics and music.
4. The act of becoming allied or the condition of being allied: the church,=

acting in alliance with community groups.
[Middle English, from Old French aliance, from alier, to ally. See ally.]

8-verein \Ver*ein"\, n. [G.] A union, association, or society; -- used in n=
ames
of German organizations.

9-bund2 (bnd, bnd)
n.
1. An association, especially a political association.
2. often Bund A pro-Nazi German-American organization of the 1930s.
3. often Bund A European Jewish socialist movement founded in Russia in
1897.
[German, from Middle High German bunt. See bhendh- in Indo-European Roots.]=


10-zollverein \Zoll"ve*rein`\, n. [G., from zoll duty + verein union.] Lite=
rally, a
customs union; specifically, applied to the several customs unions
successively formed under the leadership of Prussia among certain German
states for establishing liberty of commerce among themselves and common
tariff on imports, exports, and transit.

Note: In 1834 a zollverein was established which included most of the
principal German states except Austria. This was terminated by the events o=
f
1866, and in 1867 a more closely organized union was formed, the
administration of which was ultimately merged in that of the new German
empire, with which it nearly corresponds territorially.

11-jun·to (jnt)
n. pl. jun·tos
A small, usually secret group united for a common interest.

12-mac·a·ro·ni (mk-rn)
n.
1. pl. macaroni Pasta in any of various hollow shapes, especially short cur=
ved
tubes.
2. pl. macaroni or mac·a·ro·nies
a. A well-traveled young Englishman of the 18th and 19th centuries who
affected foreign customs and manners.
b. A fop.

13-re·gime also ré·gime (r-zhm, r-)
n.
1.
a. A form of government: a fascist regime.
b. A government in power; administration: suffered under the new regime.
2. A prevailing social system or pattern.
3. The period during which a particular administration or system prevails.
4. A regulated system, as of diet and exercise; a regimen.
[French régime, from Old French, from Latin regimen, from regere, to rule. =
See
reg- in Indo-European Roots.]

14-gran·dee (grn-d)
n.
1.
a. A nobleman of the highest rank in Spain or Portugal.
b. Used as the title for such a nobleman.
2. A person of eminence or high rank.
[Spanish grande, from Latin grandis, great.]

15-squire·ar·chy or squir·ar·chy (skwrärk)
n. pl. squire·ar·chies
The landed gentry considered as a group or class.

16-pantisocracy \Pan`ti*soc"ra*cy\, n. [Panto- + Gr. ? equal + ? to rule.] =
A
Utopian community, in which all should rule equally, such as was devised by=

Coleridge, Lovell, and Southey, in their younger days.

17-es·quire (skwr, -skwr)
n.
1. A man or boy who is a member of the gentry in England ranking directly
below a knight.
2. Abbr. Esq. Used as an honorific usually in its abbreviated form, especia=
lly
after the name of an attorney or a consular officer: Jane Doe, Esq.; John D=
oe,
Esq.
3. In medieval times, a candidate for knighthood who served a knight as an =

attendant and a shield bearer.
4. Archaic. An English country gentleman; a squire.
[Middle English esquier, from Old French escuier, from Late Latin sctrius, =

shield bearer, from Latin sctum, shield. See skei- in Indo-European Roots.]=


18-big·wig (bgwg)
n. Slang
A very important person.

19-mag·nate (mgnt, -nt)
n.
A powerful or influential person, especially in business or industry: an oi=
l
magnate.
[From Middle English magnates, magnates, from Late Latin magnts, pl. of
magns, magnate, from Latin magnus, great. See meg- in Indo-European Roots.]=


20-optimacy \Op"ti*ma*cy\, n. [Cf. F. optimatie. See Optimate.]
1. Government by the nobility. [R.] --Howell.
2. Collectively, the nobility. [R.]

21-bo·na fide (bn fd, fd, bn)
adj.
1. Made or carried out in good faith; sincere: a bona fide offer.
2. Authentic; genuine: a bona fide Rembrandt. See Synonyms at authentic.
[Latin bon fid : bon, feminine ablative of bonus, good + fid, ablative of f=
ids,
faith.]

Of course, i forgot the web address in my previous post:

http://www.spudart.org/croquet

I highly recommend looking at the links page, it will give us
some ideas on what to name our club!

~matt

Okay, I just finished the croquet pages on my website. It's got
lotsa goodies including:

CHICAGO CROQUET
* Where to play
* Join the Chicago Croquet Club on Yahoo!
* Articles on croquet in Chicago
* Future and past events of croquet in Chicago

CROQUET LINKS
* Links to some OUTRAGEOUS croquet clubs,
   "Mallets Plus Morons Equals Mayhem"
* Links to fun croquet stuff
* Links to major croquet sites

ADS FEATURING CROQUET
* Some of these are just bust out loud laughable

CROQUET ART
* Croquet depicted in paintings, prints, drawings, and photos.

~matt maldre
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ChicagoCroquet

Sir Erik, I truly admire your crossing the rubicon by your confident
self-convictions.

However, if you cannot agree upon CCC for the club identity,
would you please present any  lovely suggestions on alternative
names?

This is an open question to all members in the group  too...if you
have any other ideas, email them to the group. Please indulge
one's fancy with a plethora of suggestions for names. No name
shall be considered trite.

We will utilize our suffrages and discretly express our votes for
this issue on Saturday, July 21, 2001. For our online members, I
shall create an online poll so you may express your vote on the
Chicago Croquet website. So please, send in any ideas for
names before the week is over (Friday by latest).

Cheers,
Matt Maldre
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ChicagoCroquet

I like coadjuvancy because no one knows what it means, but the definition is:
coadjuvancy \Co*ad"ju*van*cy\, n. Joint help; co["o]peration. --Sir T. Browne.
That sounds too much like the players help each other out or like we're an
outreach program.

I don't see why it still needs to be named CCC. Why cant we go to something
else. There really isn't anything cool about the name CCC other than the fact
that is the same letter repeated three times. To me it's actually a negative.
When I see CCC I think of KKK. Maybe that's because my name is ALWAYS
misspelled. (Should be Erik, not Eric.) Actually now that I think about it... I
think CCC is an awful name just for that reason. I am officially filing a
protest against having CCC be our intials for the group. I demand something
different. Besides, it's not just a "Chicago" group. What about those players in
Aurora and Elmhurst and all other future non-Chicago places? That is very
narrow-mined to called it just "Chicago". Lame. Look at AOL (America On Line).
They are not limited just to the Americas. They are global. Why are they
"America"? Lame. Let's don't be lame. Let's be cool.



--- In ChicagoCroquet@y..., "Matt" <artdude75@s...> wrote:
> As we all know, we cannot name our club, "Chicago Croquet
> Club". There's one in Park Forest, IL with that name. But we still
> want to have the intials to be CCC. So I've got 10 ideas for
> names. Please respond with your comments on these 10 ideas.
> Which ones do you like most? Any other ideas? Any wishes?
>
> (stick Chicago Croquet in front of each of these)
> Corps
> Circle
> Coalition
> Conspiracy
> Cooperative
> Coadjuvancy
> Colleagueship
> Confederation
> Association
> Allliance

Okay, here's my thoughts. In order of most favorite to least
favorite:

1. Conspiracy: oooo, sound like we are going to take over the
world
2. Coalition: alright
3. Confederation: I like how this sounds old. But do we want to
be tied to the slave south?
4. Corps: hmmm, sounds like a millitary unit. not bad.
5. Coadjuvancy: uh?
6. Cooperative: eh, no. sounds too non-for-profity
7. Colleagueship: no, too fruity
8. Circle: no
9. Association: hey, this starts with an "a"
10. Allliance: hey, this is also an "a"

As we all know, we cannot name our club, "Chicago Croquet
Club". There's one in Park Forest, IL with that name. But we still
want to have the intials to be CCC. So I've got 10 ideas for
names. Please respond with your comments on these 10 ideas.
Which ones do you like most? Any other ideas? Any wishes?

(stick Chicago Croquet in front of each of these)
Corps
Circle
Coalition
Conspiracy
Cooperative
Coadjuvancy
Colleagueship
Confederation
Association
Allliance

This Easter Sunday brings about the grandiousque possibilites
of Croquet matches in the Maldre backyard!

What events shall unfold? What new champions shall
RESURRECT? Will someone croquet an EGG instead of their
ball? Will someone's ball HOP over anothers?

As I dwelled on such deep reflections, it occured to me that the
Maldre household was lacking a mallet from their 6-mallet set. In
a tragic event last year, yours truly broke one of the well-beloved
aged mallets. To resolve such inefficaciousness oversight, I
purchased a new 4-mallet set of Spaulding creations from ebay.

I plan on giving one mallet from this set to the Maldre collection.
Another mallet shall be given to the Grandma collection (as
brother Erik has accidentally broke one of her mallets). I shall
hold onto the the other 2 mallets in event of another broken
mallet. If you would like to preview the new set, go to:
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=113098
6487
(This link will probably only work for a couple weeks.)

Yes, yes, I know you are thinking, "oh my, this certainly is no
mallet of the caliber of the Jacques that I am used to." Indeed,
this is probably one of the cheapest croquet sets out there. But I
figured it's either using one of these or using a stinkin' baseball
bat. And certainly it would be a grave disappointment to have only
a five croquet set with six eager players.

Now with much fervent hope, I anxiously anticipate to recieve it in
the mail soon.

As for Easter Sunday, I wish all of you luck, because I shall
BURY the fragile competition!

Don't be that encouraged.  I've been practicing and I"m ready to prove the
Greatness may not truly be that great!  :-)

Lacking in the detailed accounts of the game was more
detail of the sheer dominance displayed by Erik the
Great Maldre. His masterful 5 game victory streak is
absolutely unprecendented in the CCC. Players were
left helpless in his quake. Perhaps in future matches
when the Greatness continues his prowlness will he
receive his richly deserved due.

July 30, 2000: Grandma Dunker's Backyard in Tinley Park
Weather: Drizzle on an off.
Conditions: Wet green, freshly mowed green

9-wicket American Backyard style (with must land/touch to roquet)

Highlights:
In the first ever official match for the Chicago Croquet Club, Peter
Kreten made a huge run on the first half of the course which set up
him up in good position to win the first game. But then Erik Maldre
sweeps the day with 5 wins in a row. Eventually his twin Matt was
able to overcome his near-ultimate throne of power in the seventh and
final game of the day. It was a surprise that Matt was able to win
the last game considering his difficulty throughout the day with
making it through the first rings at the beginning stick.

Kelly Kreten by far and away had the best shot of the day in the 5th
game. It was close race for second at the final hoops. Matt had his
ball stragetically placed halfway through the first of the two hoops.
Kelly's ball was a foot behind Matt's. It was Kelly's turn and she
had nowhere to go, Matt's ball was directly in her path. But then
with the power of the croquet gods, she hit her ball and it hopped
over Matt's ball, but not too high, because it went through the gate
at the same time. The ball continued it's amazing trajectory through
the second hoop and landed just a mere inch away from the stick.
Amazing. All the players agreed that it was the shot of the day.
Definetely a shot worthy to strike praise from the great John Solomon.

Game 1: Singles
1. Peter Kreten
2. Matt Maldre
honorables: Erik Maldre, Kelly Kreten

Game 2: Singles
1. Erik Maldre
2. Matt Maldre
honorables: Peter Kreten, Kelly Kreten

Game 3: Singles
1. Erik Maldre
2. Mati Maldre
honorables: Peter Kreten, Matt Maldre, Kelly Kreten

Game 4: Singles
1. Erik Maldre
2. Mati Maldre
honorables: Peter Kreten, Matt Maldre, Kelly Kreten

Game 5: Singles
1. Erik Maldre
2. Kelly Kreten
honorables: Matt Maldre, Kelly Kreten

Game 6: One on One Grudge Match
1. Erik Maldre
2. Peter Kreten

Game 7: One on One Grudge Match
1. Matt Maldre
2. Erik Maldre

Let me know if have any of these records in error.

Alas, the winter snows cause a longing for croquet in my heart.
Perhaps a game may occur on Christmas day at Grandmother's house. Oh
yes, indeed if should such a miracle happen, i would most indeedly
kick ass.

My lessons with the croquet handbook surely will result in a mastery
skill unmatchable from the unlearned non croquet handbook readers.
Yes, indeed. However, to overcome such a handicap, you too can
purchase this handbook at:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0811724891/artiwu03

It has also come to my attention that a message has been long overdue
for official posting in this Chicago Croquet group. It has patiently
rested in the pending messages folder since the date of August 2.
Indeed such an oversight shall be remedied! After this current
message that I am tip-tapping on my faith ful keyboard has been sent
to our faithful members, I shall release this older message from it's
wretchful bondage of the pending messages folder. Then it shall be free
for all to read and enjoy the events that have occured on the date of
July 30, 2000.

Hiddy ho Chicago Croquet members, we shall anticipate the day when
all snow on the ground has finally taken its absence in due time the
wickets will arise gloriously and magnificent sounds of your
destruction as my ball strikes the final stake with cries of victory
and groans of agonizing defeat.

Your modest moderator,
Matt Maldre

Okay, go become the Croquet Master.

Say, that book I mentioned in my last email.

It's called: "Croquet"
and you can get it for $8.00 at amazon at:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0811724891/artiwu03

By using that special address, I get 5% of sales.
ooo, that means the CCC will get 40 cents.
Or you could just borrow the book from me.

The description on the front:
A handbook of all the rules, strategies, techniques, and tips you
need to be a better player.

The description on the back:
Croquet has been a popular pastime...cut out boring text...Packed
with easy-to-follow diagrams, useful hints, invaluable advice from
top players, and a comprehensive glossary of terms, "Croquet" is an
unbeatable resource for all those interested in this thoroughly
enjoyble sport.

* Complete U.S. Croquet Association rules
* Court layout diagrams
* Tips on stance, grip, and swing
* Pointers on winning strategy and technique

Basically, you guys gotta watch out, cuz next I'm gonna be da supa
dupa croquet king.

Here's that address to buy the book again.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0811724891/artiwu03

~matt

You're really into this croquet thing aren't you Matt?  You can pick the
name.  Kelly

matt did you post this bad news on our site?
it doesn''t matter what the name is for me
talk to you later
pete

the name of the club is no longer "Chicago Croquet Club". I bought a
croquet book today at Borders and in the back it has a listing of
croquet clubs in the U.S. There's one in Park Forest, IL with that
name.

I say, instead, we simply go with "Chicago Croquet".

Other ideas are:
Chicago Croquet Circle
Chicago Croquet Coalition
Chicago Croquet Confederation
Chicago Croquet Corps
Chicago Croquet Cooperative
Chicago Croquet Conspiracy
Chicago Croquet Colleagueship
Chicago Croquet Coadjuvancy
Chicago Croquet Association
Chicago Croquet Allliance

~matt